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They say that soulmates are not something that can be changed, that you would undoubtedly fall for the person that the universe assigned you and live a long happy life together. And yet, why did San feel like everything was going completely wrong when, a few years ago, he had to watch his best friend get in a car and leave town with his so-called soulmate? He should’ve been happy for him, right? Should’ve congratulated him, right?
He heaved a deep sigh in the silence of the night, eyes landing on the old picture of him and his best friend, Wooyoung, that was barely visible on the moonlit desk, feeling that familiar ache in his heart and the sting in his eyes. He brought his knees up and placed his chin on them, letting the tears run freely down his soft cheeks as his mind drifted away to all the bittersweet memories.
Him and Wooyoung grew up together, went through everything together, discovered the world and unraveled its secrets together. He could still remember the day he turned 16, when Wooyoung gently kissed his cheek and told him they would be together forever, no matter what. He could also remember how he had foolishly trusted him, put his hopes in him, let him have all of his heart, only to have him leave a few years later. He could still feel the excruciating pain of that time when Wooyoung had come over, excitedly ranting about how he had finally found his soulmate, telling him all about how they had already been on a date and held hands and how everything had been perfect. From then on everything started going downhill. Wooyoung would be constantly talking about his soulmate, reassuring San that he would soon find his too, and San had to sit through it all, fake his smiles and be a good friend. After a while they started drifting apart, mostly because of Wooyoung spending more and more time with his beloved, while San cried himself to sleep almost every night, not being brave enough to confront his friend about the issues they were obviously facing. By the time Wooyoung decided to leave town with his soulmate, they were already acting like strangers and San thought it would be easy to forget him, but, oh, he was wrong.
There he was, 2 years later, still crying in the middle of the night, not able to let it go. He tried so hard to find somebody to replace him, to make him feel again, to make him happy again. He gave up quite fast, coming to the conclusion that he probably didn’t have a soulmate, or if he ever did have one, then they were obviously long gone.
He slowly wiped off the tears and put his earphones on, deciding that music would help him calm down and, eventually, fall asleep. After a few minutes of listening to old sappy love songs, he could already feel his eyelids getting heavier as his tired body finally relaxed, giving in to the sweet bliss of sleep.
The next morning he woke up with a major headache, took some pills for it and made a half assed attempt at cooking breakfast, deciding to give it up in the end and just go grab brunch at a place nearby. He put on some comfortable clothes, grabbed his keys and went out. He locked up and as soon as he turned around his eyes landed on a way too familiar car. It took him one too many seconds to figure it out, but as soon as he did he felt a multitude of feelings pass through him: shock, curiosity, disbelief, anger.
He looked to his left, only to find the owner of the car sitting in his old swing. He blinked a few times as they made eye contact, still not being able to believe what he was seeing, taking a few cautious steps back as Wooyoung got up and started slowly approaching him.
“Hello, Sannie…”, he said with a pained smile on his face, when he got close enough to be heard. San’s heart was breaking into a million pieces again just at the sound of his pretty voice, as he was staring at him, frozen in his place, still trying to figure out what exactly was going on.
“Woo… Wooyoung? Is this a dream? Is this some kind of sick joke?” San finally said through gritted teeth, still not knowing what to make of the situation.
Wooyoung seemed sad and resigned, but his eyes widened at San’s words as he quickly answered, voice slightly cracking in desperation.
“No, no, Sannie, I swear it’s not a joke or anything like that, I-… look, I know I have no right to be here and you have all the right to be confused, shocked, angry, you name it, but please, please hear me out. That’s all I ask of you Sannie, please hear me out.”
San took a moment to gather his thoughts and consider, as he looked at his best friend. He obviously looked more mature now, but San could still see the hopeful child that had once been there. He was so conflicted, as a big part of him told him to stay away, leave and never look back, but the other was whispering sweet words of better days and hope. He sighed as he rubbed his temples, already feeling the headache coming back. With one last look at his fidgeting friend he finally made up his mind.
“Okay, I’ll listen to what you have to say”, he said as he turned towards his door and unlocked it, opening it for Wooyoung, “but I really hope it’s worth it, Wooyoungie, I really do.”
He entered after him and made his way to the couch, sat down and motioned to his friend to do the same.
“You probably have a lot of questions right now, like why I am here, what happened to my… soulmate, and all that, so here we go…” Wooyoung said, voice wavering thinking back on it all. He told San everything about the sweet times and then about the bad ones, about the violence he went through and how hard it had been to finally let go, he told him all about it, both of them breaking down halfway through. They cried and they laughed, they shared beautiful memories of their sweet past, and painful ones form the few years they had been separated, and after an entire day of sharing stories and reconnecting, they found themselves hugging on the couch, finally finding their home again.
“Sannie?” Wooyoung asked, breaking the silence.
San hummed in acknowledgement, as he looked at his friend questioningly.
“Do you think we could grab some blankets and go stargazing on your roof?”
San smiled fondly. Wooyoung had always liked stargazing and it appears like that never changed.
“Yes, of course~” he said, grabbing his friend’s hand, as he got up and started heading upstairs.
That’s how a few minutes later they found themselves cuddling under the starry night, finally feeling at peace. And yet San’s mind was still full of questions and insecurities, thinking of how it all happened so fast. He decided on one more important question and turned to look at Wooyoung as he hesitantly whispered.
“Wooyoungie… So what now?”
That’s how he found said boy already staring at him, a fond look on his face as he answered simply.
“Now we make our own fate…
Now we rewrite the stars.”