Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Something was strange about hyung today. 

I’d come charging over, quick as I could, the moment I found out he was looking into Awakening Brokers.  That troublesome brother! I’d already done my best to sever our relationship when I started building my guild and gaining enemies, yet he went out to court trouble on his own anyway.  My frustration with him grew as the years went by, but I could never just abandon him by the wayside either. Troublesome as he was, he was my hyung. The man who’d raised me himself when our parents left.  

Still, couldn’t he at least cooperate with me a little?  Staying Unawakened gave him some measure of protection, and now he’d run off to play, not just with Awakening, but with a scammer like an Awakening Broker.  

Whatever I was expecting, it wasn’t what I found when I arrived at hyung’s room.  I took a breath to steady myself when I arrived at his door. This was his room at the guild building, but my anger made me pant even for this short trip.   

Except...hyung was different from usual.  

Despite rushing in and slamming open his door, hyung wasn’t shocked or irritated.  In fact, I’d almost describe him as sad. He looked at me with an unfathomable expression - why? What happened to make you look at me like that? 

Before I could properly scold him for being so stupid as to get tangled with Awakening Brokers, my hyung cut me off.  Apologized and took the blame for...everything onto himself. From his somber tone and serious eyes, I could tell he meant more than just the business with the Awakening Broker.  

Then he asked to hug me.  

Had I woken up on the wrong side of the bed today?  Goosebumps raised along my flesh and I felt uneasy. When was the last time we’d hugged?  It should be before I’d Awakened… 

“...If you want,” I finally told him.  Strange as his request was, he was my hyung.  I reminded myself that we were relatives and that this wasn’t embarrassing.  No, seriously, it wasn’t.  

Hyung reached out and pulled me close.  It’d been a long time since we hugged. Somehow, it felt exactly the same still, though I could no longer tuck myself beneath his chin.  He was Unawakened, but his embrace felt as strong as I remembered it to be. He said my name, slow and gentle, and it felt like I’d come home.  

“I love you.”  Hyung spoke against my shoulder.  I could hardly believe my ears. He squeezed me tight, and a feeling of warmth flooded through me.  I trembled, shocked. It was only because we were so close that I managed to catch the next few quiet words he murmured.  

“...would die for you…” 

I blinked in shock.  Did hyung just- Had I heard correctly?  Was my brother sick? His words were like arrows, piercing and straight to the heart.  When I thought he was done, the next attack would strike.   

He still hadn’t let go.  

“Hyung?”  

Hyung jumped a bit, and let go quickly.  Being held that long was awkward, but I couldn’t help a pang of regret when he stepped back.  He looked at me sheepishly, unsure what to say. I didn’t know what to say either.  

After some time, I rebooted enough to thank him for his words, because my hyung hadn’t raised me to be ungrateful, but he brushed me off softly.  

His words continued to echo in my mind.  I would die for you.   

It suddenly felt like hyung was about to leave me and go somewhere far, far away.  

“Plea- W-Would you like to eat dinner together?  It’s been a long time.” I nearly blurted out a plea but just managed to shift my words to a question instead.  There was a strange fear blooming inside me that I couldn’t put away.  

Thankfully, he agreed to dinner no problem.  The atmosphere was so awkward that I had to leave.  

Right after closing the door, I remembered why I’d even come in the first place.  That goddamn Awakening Broker. Hyung’s words bounced around in my head, and my fear spiked again.  I quickly poked my head back into his room and forced him to delete the contact before I calmed enough to leave.  I’d done so much to keep hyung safe. There was no way I was letting some two-bit scammer get their hands on him when he’d just proven to me again that he was worth all my efforts.  

I’d misunderstood my hyung so deeply...even after all this time, he could still hug me tight and say ‘I love you’ without hesitation.  I don’t think he’d meant for me to hear ‘I would die for you’ , but I was glad I had.  I loved my hyung, but even I would have to admit that he wasn’t the best of men.  My Awakening as an S-class, my high profile status, and the deliberate distance I’d put between us had strained my brother a lot.  To form my own guild, to use my powers for something more, I’d selfishly created a situation where I had to break down our relationship. He’d obviously been unhappy, but the longer I stayed in this world of Hunters, the more I realized that my brother was safe because he was not a part of it.   It had only affirmed my convictions. I couldn’t let hyung be dragged into this dark, dangerous world, especially not because of my own selfish wishes.  

Our conversation in his room was unusually calm.  There had been no shouting or angry glares. My hyung was the calmest I’d seen him in a long time.  I hadn’t told him anything about my plans to keep him safe because he wouldn’t have understood; had let him grow increasingly bitter and angry at our distance.  He was just a normal person. What would he know of the seedy underbelly of the Hunters’ world?  

But I hadn’t given hyung enough credit.  

I’m sorry.  I love you. 

I’d tried so hard to cut him out of my life at both our expenses, but in a moment he’d taken all the responsibility onto himself.  He was still the reliable hyung who’d raised me since our parents left. The one who’d signed my report cards, who’d cleaned up my scrapes, who’d wiped away my tears and worked himself ragged trying to earn enough to support a child when he himself had been a child. Like a parent apologizing on behalf of his child, he’d told me sorry.  I’d hurt us both so badly, and he forgave me like it was nothing.  

Most worrying of all...

I would die for you.   

That kind of sentiment was a ticking time bomb.  My hyung was kind at heart, but he wasn’t the bravest.  I hadn’t even guessed he was harbouring that sort of sentiment.  Nevertheless, I’m glad I’d overheard him. Knowing how far he would go meant I could better keep an eye on him.  

I couldn’t stop thinking about that overheard sentence.  Hyung’s hug had felt large, but when he’d stepped back, he’d looked so small.  He was just an Unawakened person, someone who could be easily crushed and destroyed by someone with power.  

No, I couldn’t leave hyung on his own anymore.  He’d forgiven me for everything, had promised his life to me.  If he was willing to go so far even when we were estranged, then I may as well bring him close.  At least there I could watch him more carefully.  

“Kim Sunghan-ssi,” I called the man to my side.  Kim Sunghan, my shield. I was confident in his skills, but more than that I was confident in his loyalty.  

“I have a task for you,” I told him.  I stared into his eyes, deadly serious.  Reliable old Kim Sunghan, he must have seen my intentions because he eventually nodded back, expression just as grave.  He’d had my back countless times in dungeons and over the years. I could trust him with hyung. “Look after my brother.  Don’t let him leave.”  

My hyung was prepared to throw his life away for mine.   I couldn’t leave anything to chance.  

My dongsaeng was warm in my arms.  Nothing like the cooling corpse I’d held just a short time prior.  How strange...Yoohyun was very much alive, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how very dead he’d been.  I could hear his heartbeat and his breath ghosted across my hair. My entire day had been surreal, but it was now, hugging Yoohyun, that things finally felt real.  

I’d gotten this killed.  I’d nearly stripped the world of my dongsaeng forever.  Relief welled up in me, the emotion so strong that I inadvertently let slip something I never would have said normally.  

“I love you.”  

How embarrassing!  How embarrassing, yet I couldn’t take it back.  Yoohyun, you stupid dongsaeng. Making me say such things…I held him closer, glad he couldn’t see my face.  

I can’t believe he would throw his life away for one useless hyung like me.  An S-Class! Leader of a famous, powerful guild! He had his whole life ahead of him, and he spent it taking fatal blows for his sorry, F-Class hyung.  

'Don't be so stupid...did you think I would die for you in return?'

I knew myself, and I knew that I wouldn’t have done the same in return.  I could never be that brave, that loving or bold. I loved my life too much to give it up, even to someone as amazing as my brother.  However, I’d make sure Yoohyun would never have to make that choice again. This time, I would treasure our lives, both his and mine. Yoohyun should never have to die for me ever again.  

Chapter Text

“Ahjussi…” I called out hesitantly.  

The man in front of me groaned in response, pressing harder on the handkerchief pressed to his head.  Bright red stained the fabric, making it scary to look at.  I wanted badly to reach out, but I was afraid to of making things worse.  My gut churned uncomfortably.  I felt sick and I wanted to run away. Ahjussi shifted to look at me and smiled feebly.  He must have noticed my conflicting emotions. 

“Are you afraid, Yerim?  It’s ok. I’m fine, see?”  He made a wide gesture but couldn’t hide the wince on his face.  Liar.  

It had happened so quickly... We’d come back to the apartment to inform my uncle about the change in my legal status and about ahjussi becoming my guardian.  The conversation went relatively well, as well as it could with a greedy pig like Bak Sungtae.  Ahjussi was even kind of cool, the way he'd talked down my uncle.  Things had basically wrapped up and it looked like we were about to leave.  

Then Uncle went at ahjussi and I saw red.  

I lost my cool.  How dare he try to hurt ahjussi?  I moved before I realized I was, yet somehow, faster than even me, ahjussi had jumped between the two of us.  I’d already adjusted to my increased strength, but I’d moved in anger and the extra force knocked ahjussi into the door frame.  He went down with my uncle in a tangle.  

I heard my aunt screaming in the background, shrill like a siren.  Ahjussi groaned and my uncle was yelling at him to get off, seemingly unfazed by the fall.  All these I noted distantly.  The only thing I could focus on had been the smear of red on the metal doorframe.  A bright red smear streaked across dull silver.  Slowly, the noises faded until I could only hear a buzzing in my ears.  My body felt weak.  Ahjussi had contracted me to protect him, but I’d hurt him instead.  Knocked him hard enough to make him bleed.  Was our contract broken then? Were my stats going to drop 20% now? Was ahjussi...

“Yerim!”  

Warm leather wrapped around my wrist and snapped me back to reality.  Han Yoojin had got up and he quickly herded me back with his body. There was a nasty wound on his forehead, already purpling and dripping with fresh blood.  My entire body felt cold.  

Ahjussi did some more talking, none of which managed to register in my mind, and then maneuvered both of us out of the apartment and back downstairs.  When I came back to myself, ahjussi had parked us both on a bench and was nursing his wound.  

“I think you really scared them back there,” Ahjussi commented.  He looked at the handkerchief, grimaced, and folded it over to an unstained side before holding it back to his head.  “Your uncle will be obedient after this. We didn’t get to grab your stuff though. Do you want to come back another day? Or we can always head back up now.”  

I shook my head.  Not right now.  I didn’t want to go back and see that smear of red on the doorframe.  

Ahjussi let out a big sigh.  “Okay, guess we’ll have to go shopping.  I’ll buy you a pair of new shoes. Ones that actually fit.”  He spoke casually, but there was a hint of disgruntlement in his tone.  Anger at my uncle.  concern for me.  

I stood up, frustrated, and paced a bit.  

“Are you worried about our contract?”  Ahjussi chuckled. “It was an accident, so it’s ok.  You weren’t aiming at me in the first place. I’m not dying for you yet-”  

“Shut up!”  I yelled in his face.  I must have shocked him with my anger because he really did stop talking.  

I know he was just joking, but I didn’t like it.  Han Yoojin, this stupid old man, how dare he do this to me?  He called himself the adult, yet he still made light of death like a naive kid.  Chattering on and on, like the fact I’d hit him hard enough to make him bleed wasn’t a big deal.  As he was constantly reminding me, his stats were only F-Class! He was basically a normal person!  He hadn’t exactly promised to die for me, but even hearing a joking ‘yet’ from him felt too real to be comfortable.  Sure, ahjussi was a little weird - a little stupid - at times, but he was sincere. He might have been somewhat creepy the first time I met him, but he hadn’t reneged on his promise to look after me yet. Even when he had the opportunity to take advantage of me, he’d still been honest.  He was genuine, and I didn’t even want to think about him and death in the same sentence.  

He blinked owlishly at me, looking naive and child-like.  Hunched over, pale...The student I’d once called ‘ahjussi’ had looked weak like that as well.  I thought I’d protect that other ahjussi after growing up, but he hadn’t waited for me…Now Han Yoojin had gotten hurt too.  Another ahjussi I’d failed to protect.  

Han Yoojin sighed.  “Yerim, I’m fine. Really.  I should have realized this could happen.”  I could hear the regret in his voice.  No, ahjussi, I’m the one who’s sorry.  “Don’t worry about it so much. Young people should live carefree.”  

Ahjussi tried to get up, but I saw him immediately stumble and sit back down.  

“Ah!  Let me!”  I quickly extended a hand and helped him up onto his feet.  Thank goodness I was already Awakened. If this was before, there was no way I’d be able to support his weight, and he was leaning on me quite a bit.  He should really get his head injury checked at a hospital.  

“What’s with that expression?”  Han Yoojin griped. He ruffled my hair and I looked at him wide eyed.  “Good children should know to smile.”  

His hand was warm, and his grin was big.  

Even though he was the one bleeding and dizzy, he was still trying to comfort me.  I recalled the pale hand of my neighbour. He hadn’t been very strong - too sick - but to my child self, he’d been as big as the sky.  Even my parents hadn’t made me feel as happy or safe as when I was with him. Without realizing it, my lips curved up and I smiled back.  Ahjussi’s smile was so dopey. Of course I’d be comforted, even if I didn’t want to be.  

We walked a few more steps, then I heard ahjussi groan.  

“What!?  Is it hurting real bad?”  I asked in alarm. 

“No, no,” ahjussi waved me off.  “It just occurred to me that I’m in big trouble…”  He mumbled some more, but the most I could catch was a ‘Kim’ and ‘-hyun’. [1] 

I wasn’t sure what he meant, but no matter how much I pestered, ahjussi didn’t elaborate.  Whatever, once we get back to the car, I’m asking Kim Sunghan to drive us straight to the hospital.  The bleeding had stopped, but ahjussi wasn’t walking straight. I don’t think he’d noticed, but he was leaning more and more on me the further we walked.  

Please don’t do this again.  I still have to fulfill my contract.  You can't leave until I've paid you back.

My head hurt and everything was way too bright.  The dark spots that flitted across my vision when I tried to get up were a sure sign that I was more injured than I’d realized.

“Ah! Let me!”  

Yerim quickly came forth to support me, and I was just a little embarrassed at how much of my weight was leaning on her.  Guess she’s still a good kid. It’s just for a little bit, okay? This oppa will be back on his own two feet in a moment. Maybe make that a few more minutes actually… 

Yerim’s face was pale, but I’m glad she’s alright.  Granted, nothing short of a car crash was going to injure her with her S-Class stats, but mental trauma from attacking her uncle would be just as bad - if not more painful - than a physical injury.  Plus the multitudes of legal action that would take place after because of an Awakened person attacking someone Unawoken. The slight frown on her face was terrible to look at, so I ruffled her hair, which earned me a surprised squawk.  I grinned back in response.  

Yerim didn’t need to worry about me ‘sacrificing’ myself for her or anything.  I valued my life too much to throw it away needlessly like that. The only lamentable part of this trip was that I wish I’d found a way to solve this without getting injured because it hurt!! Who would welcome pain like this when you can just plan contingencies that don’t involve getting beat up in the first place!?  Ok, so I hadn’t anticipated the uncle getting violent nor had I thought Yerim’s response would be so vigorous, but there must have been a way to get the same result without me bleeding for it.  

After a moment, Yerim grinned back at me.  A little weak, but I’ll take it. Good children know how to smile.  I guess she’s kinda cute. When her hair’s messy like this, she reminds me a bit of Yoohyun when he was younger.  Skinny, big-eyed, and entirely too young for all of this drama. 

I’d pulled her in to be my bodyguard, but I’m not so scummy as to just leave her like that.  She’s only fifteen. I’d raised one dongsaeng into an S-Class guild leader, I could raise one more.  Just please protect me from Kim Sunghan first or else this ahjussi will really have died for you.