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“Cas! You’re here, finally. I’m really not sure if this cure is effective, I’m afraid it’s hurting him. Every time I inject some blood into him I can see the pain on his face. What if I’m actually killing him like he says I am?” Sam exclaimed upon Cas’ arrival to the bunker.
“Hello to you too Sam.” Cas responded, after finishing his decent down the stairs and into the map room.
“Yes sorry, I know that’s a lot to take him and me panicking won’t be helping.” Sam said, taking a couple of deep breaths and looking at Cas properly. “wow man, you look a lot better from the last time I saw you.”
“Ah yes, well I had some help… from Crowley of all people. I don’t really know why, just something about stopping Dean. I imagine having Dean as a demon hasn’t worked out how he thought it would.” Cas explained.
“Well, considering Dean is still baring the mark of Cain, I imagine that’s effecting him still -even in his demon state. I even had Crowley take and hide the first blade, having that in close proximity won’t be doing Dean any favours. A task he was more than happy to complete, looking out for his own ass more than anything.” Sam responded with a sigh. “I blame him for this whole thing. Yes killing Abaddon was important, but did it have to be Dean? Did he have to gain the mark and become a, well, demon?”
“Sam, we cannot change the past…” Cas trailed off, receiving a look off Sam, “Well not without serious repercussions.” He then added, clearing his throat. “How is Dean anyway?”
“Well if you take away the demon part and the fact that this so called cure could be killing him…” Sam trailed off.
“Yes, stupid question on my part. Sam, why don’t you take a break, I’ll administer the next round. What he’s saying is clearly effecting you.” Cas offered and Sam nodded.
“Yeah, sure. Be my guest. But Cas, he’s saying some really vile things. He’s threatened to kill me on top of the other things he’s been saying. So, I’m saying, be careful. Remember it’s not him, not really. Try not to let it affect you, too much anyway.” Sam said. “I know you guys have a ‘profound bond’”
“I appreciate your concern, Sam. I’ll be fine.” Cas said trying to sound confident, and with that he left to go see Dean, leaving Sam alone to his thoughts.
“Well. Well. Well. Look what the cat dragged in.” Dean said with a smirk when Castiel walked into the dungeon.
“Hello Dean.” Castiel simply said as he prepared another syringe of blood to inject into the Demon.
“Aw c’mon Cas, let me out and I promise I won’t hurt you… too much anyway.” Dean said, following every move that the angel made.
“See, why would I do that? You’re my friend Dean, or well human you is. He would be horrified at you right now.” Castiel said as he injected the blood into Dean, earning grunts and cries of pain.
“See, that’s the thing. Old Dean was weak, hold down by love and family and all that. But you know what Cas? He died and a new and improved version is here. I happen to like this me and I don’t care if you, or Sam there, don’t. Hell, you’re trying to kill me now. Do you really think this will bring him back, the Dean that everyone knows and loves?” Dean taunted after the pain wore off.
“It’s the only thing we’ve got, yes we’re unclear what exactly it is doing to you, there isn’t exactly a lot of research in terms of turning a demon human, you know.” Castiel said with a shrug.
“What about research for stolen grace, I’d think you be more interested in that, and therefore your own wellbeing, than curing me. I can see you’ve just had a fresh load of it.” Dean said, smirking slightly.
“How did—” Castiel trailed off, trying not to show his shock.
“I’m a demon, Cas, I can see that grace of yours isn’t, well, yours. It’s already beginning to fade away, but when it’s not with the correct host, well… that’s bound to happen. Like you can see souls, I can see angel grace. Besides, if you like being an angel so much that you’re stealing grace, why can’t you leave be to be… well this?” Dean said.
“Because I know you Dean! I know you would rather die than be a demon, the reason why you died was so that you didn’t hurt innocent people! Except you were reborn as a demon, became Crowley’s little friend or whatever. You know, he was the one that stole this grace so I would come here and save you.” Castiel responded, trying to keep his emotions in check.
“You know me huh? Did you know that he was in love with you? Human me?” Dean said and Castiel froze, making Dean’s smirk widen with getting the response he was aiming for, “Ah, so you didn’t. I, being human, was so deeply in love with you, I didn’t know how to act really. I weren’t sure whether you would reciprocate those feelings that I had. I might know how to play the jackass ladies man, but truth? I’m really not as much as a lady’s man than… shall we say, an equal opportunities lover? I never felt so strongly about anyone, not even in that year I spent with Lisa. Yeah, I was happy, but I was never in love with her… not like you.” Dean explained.
“You’re—” Castiel started before being interrupted, not really knowing how to respond.
“What? Lying? Are you sure about that? Think about it Castiel. The looks, the little touches, how it broke my heart to kick you out of the bunker after you were made human… purgatory! I spent I don’t know how long looking for you.” Dean said, licking his lips whilst watching Castiel’s reaction. “Hit a nerve? Did you feel the same way?” Dean continued, after several seconds of no reaction.
Castiel wasn’t sure what the correct way to react, he knew he had some form of feelings for the righteous man, his time being human made him realise that it was love. Having Dean to feel the same way was something Castiel could only hope for, but only saying those words only when he was a demon? That was something nightmares were made of. Castiel did the one thing he could think of in response, injected more blood into the demon and walked out of the room.
“Cas? Are you okay?” Sam asked, when Castiel walked back into the map room, noiseless. “Cas? Castiel… what did he say?”
“Oh- uh, usual taunting stuff. Saying that the blood was going to kill him, Dean as a human was weak and hold back by love. You know, just stuff to make me stop.” Castiel said after a couple of moments of silence.
“Is that all? I can’t imagine stuff like that effecting you this bad. Usually, it’s what all demons say, or along those lines, when we’re exorcising them.” Sam replied a little confused but trying to not be too pushy.
“It’s just different when it’s coming from Dean because it’s Dean… not some demon possessing him, it’s Dean himself.” Castiel said.
“But—” Sam said, being more confused as he was being interrupted.
“Just drop it Sam!” Castiel said, raising his voice slightly. But, before Sam could respond, there was a loud crash somewhere in the bunker. Ignoring the conversation for now, the two ran off in the direction the noise was coming from.
“You look terrible” Castiel announced walking into Deans room, after knocking and being welcomed into the room.
“You know, it wouldn’t kill you to lie every now and again.” Dean quipped back, smiling slightly when Castiel gave him a confused look.
“No, it wouldn’t kill me. I just… you…” Castiel trailed off, not really knowing what to say.
“Forget it.” Dean said, smiling slightly to himself whilst getting off his bed and walking towards the angel, “Well, you on the other hand, you… looking good. So you’re back.”
“At least temporarily…” Castiel trailed off, “It’s a long story with the grace stealing and Crowley being involved.”
“Uh, yeah I remember that the grace was stolen and that you mentioned Crowley being involved…” Dean trailed off, scratching his head slightly. “Well, thank you for, um… stepping in when you did.”
“You remember?” Castiel asked, it shouldn’t have been a shock but if Dean remembers that then…
“Everything? Yeah… Trying to kill Sam, you showing up to help inject the blood… everything that was said. Yes I remember it… I remember it all, Cas.” Dean said, turning back around and moving the books off his bed that he was reading before Castiel knocked on the door.
“That wasn’t really you, Dean. It certainly wasn’t all you.” Castiel said, trying to comfort the hunter.
“Yeah well… doesn’t change what was said, Cas.” Dean said, looking back at the angel as Castiel moved closer. “What I said to you… Cas, it was true. I am in love with you. I think I have been for a long time. Maybe since I met you in that barn, maybe a while after that. I don’t know, it’s hard to pinpoint it exactly. I hate that it came out like that, I hate that you now know. If you don’t want to stay, if knowing this makes you feel uncomfortable it’s okay, Cas. I forgive you, I’m sure these feelings will go away one day. You can go if you don’t want to be around me anymore.”
“Dean… I’m not uncomfortable around you. I don’t care about your sexuality, you being an ‘equal opportunities lover’ as it was put. Your feelings about me? What if I said I feel the same way about you? I love you too, Dean… I think I did the moment I laid eyes on you, not in that barn, but in hell. Repairing you, piece by piece, was the best thing I ever did.” Castiel explained, stopping within a few inches of Dean.
“Cas… tell me if you want me to stop…” Dean said, before placing his hands on both of Castiel’s cheeks and moving in for a kiss, one that was quickly responded to. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, pulling him close so the gap between them was non existent anymore. Dean only pulling away with the need to breathe but resting his forehead on the angels.
“I didn’t want you to stop.” Castiel said, smiling as he did, earning a chuckle off Dean.
“I need to breathe, Cas.” Dean said gently, placing another quick kiss on Castiel’s lips before Castiel stepped back a few steps.
“You need to rest, Dean.” Castiel said, turning around and heading towards the door slowly.
“Stay.” Dean simply said, getting PJ bottoms out of a drawer before sitting back on his bed and Castiel stopped moving. “Stay with me tonight. Tomorrow, we can work out what this is. I promise I won’t try anything because, yes I agree with you. I’m beat. But, I would like it if you stayed, please? I know you don’t have to sleep but…” Dean asked.
“Of course, Dean.” Castiel continued walking to the bedroom door, but closed it instead of walking back through it, before turning around with a smile on his face.
“Thank you.” Dean said, before stripping out of his clothes and putting his PJ bottoms on and climbing into bed, watching as Castiel stripped too. “Do you want a pair of bottoms or shorts?” Dean asked, motioning towards the drawer where he got his out of and smiled as Castiel went and got a pair out and put them on before climbing into bed and turning off the bedroom lamp.
“Goodnight, Dean.” Cas said as he got comfortable, being more than happy to be the small spoon as Dean kissed the back of his head.
“G’night Cas.”