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bang chan was the first one to break lee minho's heart.
bang chan was his neighbour, a nice guy who volunteered in an animal shelter in his free time and helped old ladies with their shopping bags. he tried to make friends on the first day minho moved to the neighbourhood, because he didn't want the new kid to be as lonely as he used to be when he first moved there. he was also the captain of their local swimming club, school's president and one of the best students in the whole district.
there was only one thing bang chan wasn't good at – being gay.
bang chan dated a whole lot of girls – tall blondes and short brunettes, nerds and plastics, conventionally beautiful and beautiful in other ways. but never boys.
minho didn't want to tell bang chan about his feelings. he knew he was bound to be brokenhearted, why make it quicker? he really didn't want bang chan to know, he preferred staying as the neighbourhood friend who was always getting his "hey, minho!" from across the street and a short conversation about his cats when they were meeting in front of one of their houses.
but how could he predict that his own brother will out him to not only bang chan himself, but also the whole school and their parents?
after minho stepped away crying from bang chan laughing mockingly at him, he never saw him again. he just packed his bags and ran away from home, living only on the money he earned during the summer break and saved up for college.
he moved to seoul.
the city hypnotized lee minho. the beautifully lit up view he watched at night from one of the skyscrapers' roof made him feel at home when he contemplated making one more step towards the edge.
that was where he was found by jisung, heartbreak number two.
turned out that jisung was just meaning to draw some graffiti on the roof as a dare he made himself. they spent the night together, mostly talking about the life. jisung briefly taught minho how to draw graffiti and minho taught jisung how to kiss.
the next time they met was when minho found jisung face down in the river.
at jisung's funeral he met lee felix. heartbreak number three.
lee felix was broken. he just lost his best friend when three months earlier he also lost his grandma.
minho liked to tell himself that he took care of felix when no one else wanted to. he made sure that felix always had someone to talk to, cuddle with when the nightmares didn't let him sleep and hold hands with when he was close to breaking down in public.
lee felix was a good boy. he just wanted to be finally happy. he wanted to play video games again without thinking about his dead best friend, go to the park without reminiscing about the times he was getting drunk there with jisung and fall in love without reminding himself that he doesn't deserve to be happy after what happened.
and he did.
when minho understood he never gave lee felix true happiness, he left. felix was already happy with jeongin anyways.
he met heartbreak number four when he started modeling for paintings. his name was hwang hyunjin.
hwang hyunjin was barely an adult, but he was incredibly talented. he moved the brushes on his canvas without any hesitation, furrowed brows and a concentrated expression on his face as the only reminder he wasn't a work of art but human. minho was enamoured by hwang hyunjin's works even before he found himself falling for the artist.
it was the night hwang hyunjin called him, begging to pose for an act, when minho realised how low he's fallen for that boy.
later on minho understood that there was no love, only fire burning everything on its way. it burnt hwang hyunjin first, making him find his muse in someone completely else and leave minho still burning, even though he was surrounded by water.
it was seo changbin who put him out, but none of them realised that it would only make him drown in the water.
at this point there was no way lee minho could still be saved. but how could any of them know?
seo changbin was a stripper and his heart was even bigger than his dick. he genuinely wanted to make minho happy. he wanted to be there when minho woke up to kiss his forehead and cuddle even tighter. he wanted to take minho on cute dates and hold his hand the whole time with an excuse of being cold leaving his mouth crooked to a smile indicating obvious lie. he wanted to be there when minho lost another job and broke down in the middle of the mall, and when he finally got promoted and jumped around happily, kissing changbin a few times before calming down.
but maybe minho's heart was too broken to learn how to love again. maybe the fifth heartbreak didn't break only lee minho's heart.
all it took was one stupid argument and front door shut loudly behind changbin's back.
lee minho realised he didn't really want to die when he felt the strength leaving his body with blood flowing out of both of his arms, but he didn't know any other way of being happy. maybe he just needed to break someone's heart to finally know what the word happiness meant.
with last bits of strength he tried calling seo changbin. he didn't know if he was begging for salvation, saviour or last false hope. maybe he just wanted to let changbin know that he loved him. maybe he believed that changbin's panicked voice will be enough to stop him from closing his eyes forever.
but seo changbin never picked up.