Chapter Text
“Everyone is so absorbed with their phones these days,” Peter sighs dramatically. “Nobody lives in the moment. Back in my day we didn’t have electricity. We pushed each other in the dirt for entertainment.”
Tony snorts but finally looks up from his phone. “You kids these days have it so easy,” he adds. “When I was a kid, I had to walk 47 miles in the snow to get to school.”
Pepper laughs. “None of you kids have any work ethic. I used to work four jobs, 30 hours a day. None of you know what hard labor is.”
“Pepper, you do actually somehow manage to work 30 hours a day,” Tony deadpans. The redhead doesn’t look up from her StarkPad but she does smirk.
“We can’t both be the trophy spouse, Tony."
Peter whistles low. "I’d say she really got you with that one but-”
“Not with that attitude we can’t,” Tony mutters petulantly.
Things fall back into a companionable silence as the three of them step into the elevator. Tony pulls his phone back out and Peter drops his head back against the wall of the elevator. His phone is dead, otherwise he too would have it out.
Instead he closes his eyes and lets the silence wash over him. Except nothing is ever truly silent around Peter. He can hear the mechanics of the elevator whirring beneath his feet. The sound the panel makes as they pass by each floor. There’s a fly somewhere off in the right corner that fades into something of a white noise. He can hear Pepper’s slow and steady heart rate and it relaxes him just a bit more. Tony’s is there in the background, the beats falling between Pepper’s own. It beats a little faster, however, and Peter frowns. High blood pressure. The additional heartbeat is soft, nearly undetectable and-
Peter’s eyes shoot open. The fourth heart beat. The fourth. He tilts his head in confusion. It’s faint but it’s definitely there.
“Oh wow,” Peter says in surprise, expression one of thinly veiled shock before he’s downright beaming. “Congratulations on the baby! If I weren’t so excited I would be offended that you haven’t actually told me about it yet!” He’s dancing on the balls of his feet, not really taking in the way Tony and Pepper are looking at him. Pepper looks confused and Tony looks horrified.
“Kid,” Tony says slowly, “what the fuck are you talking about?”
“The heartbeat- There’s another heartbeat.” His brows are furrowed, face scrunched in confusion as he hesitantly glances between the two, almost doubting himself. “You two are having a baby, right?”
Pepper laughs, almost nervous. “That’s cute, Peter. You really had me there for a second.”
“But I’m not jok-”
“Who put you up to it?” Tony looks amused. “Was is Sam? Wait no, don’t tell me- It was Clint, wasn’t it? Couldn’t catch me off guard in the vents so now he’s trying a new approach. Well joke’s on him if he thinks it’s that easy.” He’s pulling his phone out to text the archer but Peter snatches it from his hand, demanding both their attention.
“I’m not joking and I’m not crazy. There’s a fourth heartbeat. I mean I’m not a doctor but I do have enhanced hearing, so.” He drags the word out, eyebrows raised pointedly before shifting into something of pure unadulterated glee. “I hope it’s a boy. I mean, even if it’s a girl that would be amazing obviously! I’m so excited- This is so exciting. Mister Stark we could make a high tech crib! A high tech high chair!” He nearly gasps at his own idea. “Stark Industries could break into high tech baby thingies and make a killing.”
“I’m already making a killing, Pete.” His voice is quiet, exasperated and almost fond.
But Peter doesn’t hear him. He’s already rambling on and on, effervescent in this new revelation. Tony and Pepper are staring at each other with mirroring expressions of surprise and uncertainty.
“Are we really going to take the kids word for it?” He sounds uncertain, but there’s something underneath it. Something Pepper can’t quite make out. She finally shrugs, almost bashful.
“It’s news to me, but I can’t say I’d be disappointed.” Tony’s expression softens and he steps into Pepper’s space, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“I’m just going to blunt here, Pep. This is kind of terrifying. I’m not sure that I’m prepared for this.”
“Tony,” she says with a patient smile. “Preparation wouldn’t make it any less terrifying.”
“We are a power couple…” Tony’s muses. “Of course it only makes sense that we would be power parents also.”
"Well, you kind of already are a power parent, aren’t you?” They both turn towards the kid. He’s still rambling, listing things off on each finger, gesticulating wildly. Tony snorts. He’s pretty sure Peter hasn’t paused to take a breath since he started.
“Thankfully we get to send this one back home to May every day.” Pepper laughs when Peter cuts himself off mid sentence, narrowing his eyes at Tony. He’d only caught the very end of that conversation and quite frankly-
“Okay, well that was rude. But I’m really high-key freaking out with excitement over here and you’re about to be a dad and oh man I can’t wait to make dad jokes at you- Anyways, yeah, that was rude but I’m going to let it go this time. You’re welcome.” Tony raises an eyebrow and looks over to Pepper as if to say can you believe this kid. Pepper has to bring a hand up to cover her amusement.
“How very kind of you,” he replies dryly. “A merciful King.”
Peter lifts his chin theatrically and nods in agreement. “Heavy is the head, and all that jazz.”
“You don’t remember the rest of the quote,” Tony deadpans. “Didn’t we just study that Monday night for your quiz?”
“No,” Peter scowls. Tony shoots him a knowing smirk, finally gaining the upper hand once more.
“As I was saying,” Peter cuts in pointedly, even though neither Pepper or Tony know what the kid had actually been saying.
“My middle name is Benjamin and you know, I really think it’s making a come back. Just caught it in Forbes last week. Mhmm. Very socialite these days. I mean think of all the great Benjamin’s out there- Benjamin Franklin…Uhh.” Peter is already at a complete loss. Only for a moment. "Oh! Ben Stiller, Ben Affleck, Benjamin Button. You really can’t go wrong here.”
“And if it’s a girl?” Pepper is enjoying this way too much. Peter scoffs as if the answer is obvious.
“Penelope. Penny for short. See? That’s one task I’ve already taken care of.”
The elevator doors finally open and Peter gently pushes Pepper out. “Go, you need rest. I’m already texting Happy.”
“Pete, your phone is dead.” Tony goes to take a step forward but stumbles when Peter fists a hand in the billionaires suit and pulls him back onto the elevator.
“I know what I said! Now go, you need rest, shoo.” He motions with his free hand for her to move along. “Go have an avocado smoothie or something healthy. Whatever pregnant ladies need to do. Yoga or hot baths. I don’t know, I’ll Google it later.”
The doors are closing, Pepper is laughing, and Tony is trying to break free of Peter’s grasp.
“Kid, what are you doing right now?”
“I’m making sure you can’t distract Pepper. You stress her out.” Tony looks offended but when Peter gives him a look he begrudgingly relents.
“I’m well behaved,” he pouts. Peter pats his shoulder sympathetically.
“Of course you are. Let’s go, I’m going to buy you a congratulatory chocolate shake.”
“Peter, I think I can buy my own shake.”
“Well, I’d buy you a drink, but we have that ridiculous drinking age… Ridiculous.” Tony wraps an arm around Peter’s shoulder.
“It’s okay, kid. It’s the thought that counts. C'mon. I’ll buy you a Capri Sun.”
“I’lL bUy YoU a CaPrI sUn,” Peter repeats in a mocking voice, petulant. Tony is nearly grinning as he stares up at the numbers above the door as they descend further and further. He’s waiting for what he knows will come. Then, finally, a quiet, “I want three of them.”
And there it is.
Tony smirks. He can do this whole parent thing. After all, Pepper is right. He does already have one kid. Tony ruffles Peter’s hair obnoxiously, laughing outright as the kid groans and shoves him away.
Yeah, Tony thinks, I’ve totally got this.