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"We’re closed!”
“Oh, come on, just one drink?”
Maria’s head popped up at the voice, smiling at the very sunkissed Alex that was coming her way. Instinct told her to run up and hug him, but she knew that they left off in a really bad place. She’d hate to put him off. But, still, he looked incredible. He was tanner than ever, his hair was longer, he’d grown into a brighter style, and he just looked lighter in general. Happier.
Happy Alex was good to see. After he’d caught her with Michael, he was fuming. She’d tried to talk to him, to apologize, but he just told her to leave. Then he disappeared for three months. Him leaving led to Guerin spiraling. Which led to Maria realizing she had missed a huge chunk of the story.
“Are you just gonna stare at me?” Alex mused, stepping up to the bar and holding his arms out for a hug. She went willingly.
“It’s so good to see you, Alex. You look hot,” she teased, grinning as she pulled away. Clearly, he was being friendly and she was going to welcome all of it.
“So do you!” Maria rolled her eyes.
“I look the same.”
“Yeah, but you’re always hot, I was just pointing it out,” Alex said, his smile bright and contagious.
“So, where have you been? We were worried. Kyle waited like two weeks to tell us you were alive,” she said, pouring him a drink. Maria let herself take him in a little deeper as he took the glass. His aura was shining bright with ease and hope and happiness. His outward appearance ran deep. She’d never seen him like this. She never wanted it to stop.
“California. A buddy of mine from the Air Force lives there with his wife. She’s a hotshot lawyer, so they own this big ass house on the beach. Let me crash for a bit,” he explained.
“Well, it looks like it was good for you,” she pointed out. He nodded, his smile softening.
“Yeah, it was. I needed to get away from all the bullshit. My entire life I’ve never had a free day and I came to a point where I was about to burst, so I took some time. I really needed it,” he admitted. Maria looked away for a moment. She was the one who tipped him over the edge. She was the one who added the cheery on top. The least she could do was apologize.
“Listen, Alex, about‒”
“No, don’t, seriously,” Alex said, holding his hand up as he looked at her with earnest eyes, “I’ve had a lot of time to handle it and think about it and I want to apologize for taking out my anger on you. And also for putting you in the middle. I still don’t like what you did and it still hurt me, but it was selfish and childish of me to act like you should’ve prioritized me over yourself, especially when you had so little information about me and him.” Maria’s shoulders slumped.
“No, Alex, I should’ve talked to you before I did anything,” Maria tried. Alex shrugged.
“Yeah, but still. I mean, we had barely spoken to each other in a decade and a few months back to being your friend, I expected you to just do what I wanted without explanation. All you knew was that we kissed once upon a time. I shouldn’t have lashed out like I did,” Alex said. Maria nodded, accepting the apology. As much as she felt like she was in the wrong, he had a point and she could accept that.
She’d lost her best friends all in one fell swoop. She knew Liz and Alex were dealing with shit, but she’d be lying if she hadn’t gotten angry over the years that she hadn’t been able to escape like they had. Her best friend died and she had to grieve alone. Her mom got sick and she dealt with it alone. She’d done everything on her own for a decade and she’d just wanted some selfish pleasure in her life.
She wasn’t guilty for being selfish, she was guilty for trying to take something that wasn’t her to be selfish with.
“Okay. You can be sorry for lashing out if I can be sorry for being dumb enough not to see that I was playing with fire,” she offered. Alex snorted with a grin but raised his glass.
“Cheers to us being 28-year-old babies.”
“Fuck it, cheers to that.”
They both laughed as they knocked back a shot of whiskey, making faces as it burned and laughing despite it. It felt nice to be with Alex again and be friends. She missed it. Even though she had Liz and was even starting to get along with Isobel and Kyle, no one was quite like Alex Manes. She was happy to see she hadn’t ruined it for good as she thought.
“Okay, okay, so tell me about California,” Maria pushed, leaning on the bar and watching as Alex bit down on his lip.
“I honestly didn’t do much,” Alex said and his nose slowly scrunched up, “Okay, I will admit I was a little slutty.”
“Good! You deserve slutty!” she cheered, laughing as he nodded earnestly. “Are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna spill?” Alex downed the rest of his drink before leaning forward.
“Okay, so, like, all the guys there are hot. Seriously, I thought I was going to die. And, like, 80% of the guys I hooked up with were dumb as rocks, but they were so, so hot,” he gushed, “There was this one guy I met who I actually tried to date for a little while. Dude asked me if I surfed and I was like ‘no’, and he’s like ‘oh I could teach you’, so I told him about my leg in hopes it would get me out of it. Go figure I’d pick the one guy in the world who specializes in giving swimming and surfing lessons to physically and mentally disabled kids and teens. And, like, how do I say no to that? He gave me this big ass speech about how the water gives them a type of freedom they don’t have on land, so I had to fucking go.”
Maria suppressed a laugh at the idea of Alex surfing. She couldn’t actually remember a time they had gone swimming as kids and he hadn’t screamed at them for getting his hair wet or messing up his mascara.
“Oh, yeah? How’d that go?” Alex tilted his head with that ’how do you think?’ look on his face.
“Awful. Horrible. I freaked the fuck out, embarrassed myself horribly to the point he had to apologize,” Alex explained, shaking his head through the smile. Maria pressed her fingers to her lips at the image. She almost wished she could’ve been there. “But honestly it paid off. Have you ever had sex on the beach?” Maria snorted loudly, shaking her head. “So much sand in so many places you don’t want sand, but, like, he was really good, so I don’t know how much to complain.”
“You’re ridiculous, Alex,” she laughed. However, she was really happy to see him like this. He didn’t seem so plagued by Michael Guerin. He had moved on, he was doing so damn good. She loved it.
“So, tell me about what I’ve missed,” he urged, putting his elbow on the counter and resting his chin on his fist all while batting his eyelashes.
With a soft laugh and a sigh, she told him, “I guess this is a good time to you that Guerin and I are over.” Surprisingly, he gave a soft smile.
“I know.”
Maria’s eyebrows pulled together. “Kyle tell you?”
“Uh, no, Michael did,” Alex admitted and, despite having just started talking about his sexcapades, this was the moment his cheeks decided to turn red, “He honestly did keep his distance though which I’m thankful for. He only texted me twice. First time to ask if I was okay, and the second time to tell me you two broke up and that he missed me, but he understood that I needed space.”
“And?”
“And,” Alex breathed out a slow breath, “I’m going to see him after I leave here.”
It took a few moments for Maria to process what she was hearing. He had literally just told her how he had moved on.
“Seriously?” Alex nodded. “What happened to being slutty?” He huffed a laugh.
“Yeah, I mean, it was fun and all, but all it really did was show me how much I love him,” Alex admitted and she would be lying if she said she didn’t gulp at that. “I would be hooking up with other guys and I would be thinking about him. He gave me the space I needed to find who I was outside of my father and outside of, well, Michael himself. And I still want him. The idea of him still makes me feel like I’m on fire and, regardless of what happens tonight, I want to see him so bad I kinda feel like I’m gonna explode. But I’m sure you get that, Michael is a lot to adore.”
“No, it wasn’t like that with me,” Maria said softly. She’d gotten a glimpse of how serious these two men in her life were about each other, but it always made her feel a little worse when she saw more into it. How did she go so long without seeing it? Somehow, Alex shrugged like it wasn’t that big of a deal. “Well, does he know you’re in town?”
“I texted him before I walked in and I’ve been too scared to check and see if he responded,” he chuckled. Maria reminded herself she was being his friend and not the girl who fucked his relationship and scoffed.
“Pull out your damn phone,” she insisted. Alex smiled and obey, laying the phone on the table for them both to see as he opened his messages.
Alex: I’m back in town. Can I come see you later?
Michael: Yes
Michael: Or do you want me to come over so you don’t have to drive after driving all the way from wherever?
Michael: Okay you can just come to me
Michael: Are you okay?
Michael: I’m texting too much I’m sorry but what time?
Michael: in my defense I’m really excited to see you
Michael: I’ll shut up can’t wait to see you ❤
“Jesus, should you really be keeping him waiting?” Maria teased. Happiness burst in her chest at the look on Alex’s face as he read over the messages. He deserved that. If that’s what made him happy, then he deserved all of it. “I want you two to be happy, Alex.”
“Thank you,” he said, but his eyes didn’t really leave his phone. “What do you think the heart means?”
“I think it means a man who once went on a rant about how emojis are the worst just sent you one, so you should take it as he’s trying,” she pointed out. He nodded slowly, biting on his lips before he looked up at her.
“Do you mind if I go?”
“I literally might throw you out. Go get your man,” she insisted. A wide grin broke out on his face and he reached over the bar to pull her into a hug once again.
“Thank you for this, Maria, seriously. I missed you.”
“I missed you too, Alex.”
Alex pulled away just long enough to press a kiss to her cheek before hopping off the bar. He somehow was even brighter than before. The effects of love.
“Let’s not pull away from each other again,” Alex said. She nodded in agreement and they said their goodbyes. He almost ran out the door.
Maria took a moment to really process how good it felt to have Alex back and happy and good. She couldn’t even find it in her to be confused or jealous or anything negative anymore. Alex was finally getting his love and, honestly, she felt confident that she would too. And, if she didn’t, at least she had her friends.
Turns out that’s really all you really needed.