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“For you sir.” The letter was delivered to Gabriel's desk. He received it without thanking the messenger. He tore it open and as he read it his eyes widened in surprise. Even more so when he got to the end.
No tricks, come alone. If you do not show I'll let it be known you're a coward. I'll be waiting.
That last bit seemed like a challenge and the Archangel Fucking Gabriel did not shrink from a challenge.
The day and time arrived and he went to meet the demon that summoned him.
Mercifully they were clean, and well dressed, for a demon. Gone were the boils and the fly hat...crown... headpiece? Whatever, it was gone. To those who didn't know better they could have been mistaken for just a very short, very irate human being.
Gabriel caught up with them in the hotel lobby, and proceeded to follow them to the elevator. A human couple joined them just before the door opened and the four got in together. The female human gave them both a once over and mouthed 'nice' at the slightly confused figure beside him. Luckily the pair got off before they did.
“Those humans thought we were in a relationship?” He half asked, just to see if he could get Beelzebub to react.
“Or just going to fuck.” Was not what he expected. He sputtered a little trying to formulate a response.
“It'zz no matter what they think. Although I'm amuzzzzed they think you're some kind of prizzze.” Beelzebub swiftly exited the elevator at the ding and did not wait for Gabriel to follow them down the hall.
“I have reason to suzzpect we have been cheated.” Beelzebub wasted absolutely no time getting to their point as soon as they had made it into the room. “Pre failed apocalypse we attempted to eliminate the demon Crowley from our legion. Our attempt was not sucezzful. I am aware you tried to similarly punish the angel Azzziraphale. Your attempt was equally unsucezzful. I have reason to believe they szzzwitched their corporeal formzz to foil us.”
“They did what?”
“Changed bodies.” They repeated. “Likely in some mizzguided attempt to keep one another safe.”
“Well I can't say I'm surprised. I'm disappointed, but not surprised. How did you figure this out?”
“Crowley wazzz behaving quite oddly during the event.”
“Crowley? Oddly? No? Really! I'm surprised you could actually tell?”
“I know all my subjectz quirkzz. Can you zzzzay the zzame?” Gabriel didn't answer so Beelzebub continued. “Ssszzzzo I'm proposing we test if this iz pozzible. From there we can further dezzzide a course of action.”
“You want us to see if we can swap forms?” He asked, Beelzebub nodded. “This isn't some trick to get in my body to do something evil is it?”
“No tricks.” Beelzebub repeated their statement from the letter.
“You're not worried I'm going to make off with your corporeal form? Although I don't know why would I want to stay in your body? It's tiny. It's a miracle anybody takes you seriously down there.” Wrong thing to say. Gabriel found himself jerked roughly to his knees.
“I'm a Prinzzze. You'd do well to show some rezzzpect.” There was a tense moment of eye contact with Beelzebub gripping the lapel of his coat to keep him kneeling.
“Fine.” he agreed quietly. “Let's do this.” He held out a hand but didn't get up.
“Very well.” Beelzebub slid the hand that had once had his lapel into his.
It was a very very strange sensation. Switching forms. Gabriel had had the same physical body since he got it. Now everything was at a much different perspective.
Beelzebub in his body took a second to stand up and instantly Gabriel watched his own face scrunch in displeasure.
“You're absolutely mazzive.” They spread his arms.
“Thank you.”
“That was NOT a compliment. It's excezzive. How do you function like this?”
“UH, very well thank you. I feel that particular corporeal body helps to insure I get the respect I deserve.”
“Maybe if you weren't such a shit leader you wouldn't need to compenzate.” Beelzebub articulated through his teeth.
“Hm.” He wanted to reply with many many other things than 'hm', but he had learned his lesson the first time. “Now we know it's possible. So, they could have done it.”
“Yezz, but we still have no proof.”
“True. At any rate upstairs has, ah, lessened our surveillance on the renegade angel. We no longer consider him a valued asset.” It took a lot for Gabriel to let a rival in on any kind of heavenly information. In response the demon in the room with him slouched back on the bed, and propped themselves up on an elbow. He could see them mulling something over.
“Crowley has always been a weird one. Never quite fit in. Had some good ideazz, but not one to follow the rulezz. We've just counted him as a lozz.” Out of nowhere Beelzebub was eating a peach. Eating a peach in his body!
“Hey! I don't eat.”
“Too bad. I do. I like food.”
“Why? You don't need to eat. It's messy and it takes up time.”
“You do know my chief sin izz gluttony? What kind of egzzzample would I be if I did not indulge?” They took a particularly loud bite, and Gabriel realized (will equal parts horror and admiration) they had bitten straight through the pit. Beelzebub in his body made pointed eye contact and took another inappropriately crunchy bite of peach. A stray drip of juice found it's way to his turtleneck. Beelzebub caught his frustrated exhale.
“It could be something much worzze. ZZZsomething bloody or rotten. Count yourself lucky.” They chased the next drip down their wrist with their tongue. Never breaking eye contact. Gabriel felt like he was losing some kind of battle he didn't even know he was having.
“Can we at least switch back for you to finish it?”
“No.” Beelzebub finished their snack at a leisurely pace. And only when the entire peach was gone, sticker and all, did they get up from their slouch.
After watching the peach experience Gabriel was feeling a little strange. He was going to be very glad to get back into his own body.
“Your body izz interezzting. You've got some thingzzz I've never bothered with.” Beelzebub licked the thumb of the corporeal body he was desperate to get back into.
“Yes, I can tell that.” he had to clear their throat before answering.
“Now you can have what you want.” Gabriel watched his body sit upright and lean right into his face. Beelzebub held out a slick hand, and he took it.
In another strange shimmery instant he was back in his own uncomfortably sticky body. He was also still directly in Beelzebub's face. They gave him a toothy grin.
“I'd call thizz meeting a succezzz. Do you have any follow up queztions?”
“No.” Gabriel answered hoarsely and backed out of Beelzebub's face.
“Well then, I'll be in touch.” With that the demon sunk through the floor of the hotel room in rolling boil of lava. Gabriel was left alone with the smell of sulfur and peaches, and a very pressing need despite himself to contact Aziraphale. He had a few personal questions.