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It had taken Gabriel a month or more to finally work up the courage to contact his semi-coworker. He thought it was best he do it in person, and absolutely imperative he do it alone. It probably wasn't going to be pleasant or easy, but he had survived a very strange meeting with the price of hell.
"No, out! You're not welcome." Gabriel was not surprised at his reception upon entering the shop. He was also not surprised it came from Crowley who was slouched against the counter.
"Crowley please!" He heard Aziraphale before he saw him. "You have to at least let them look - " the angel stopped short upon seeing Gabriel in his shop.
"Oh." Was all he got. He supposed he deserved it.
"I have a few questions. If I can ask them?"
"No." Crowley repeated.
"Now now my dear, it's not every day Gabriel comes down to talk to the rest of us. What can we help you with?" Aziraphale looked awfully smug for someone he had once tried to kill.
"How can you tell if somebody likes you? Uh. Romantically?"
"First you have to be likable period." Crowley answered, beside him Aziraphale's mouth twitched in a very small smile. He quite possibly deserved everything they could have said to him and even worse things on top of that. He counted himself lucky they were both a little too nice for their respective jobs.
"Crowley, please my love, it's alright." Aziraphale very gently took Crowley's hand. "If you'd like to leave for now I understand. I'll be just fine. Maybe you could see if Anathema still needs help with her roses." The pair of them definitely had some sort of silent conversation before Crowley made up his mind.
"Maybe I will Angel. But you let me know the second you need anything."
"I will, of course, I will. I'll be just fine." He assured his partner once again. From there Crowley leaned in and very gently kissed Aziraphale goodbye once or twice. The nice intimate moment was ruined when he made aggressive eye contact with Gabriel when he turned to leave. Aziraphale watched him with a dreamy smile until he was completely out the door.
"He doesn't like you." He turned to Gabriel and his smile turned tight. He motioned for Gabriel to follow him to the back of the shop. He gestured to a wooden chair at a small table. And with another motion there was a mug of something beside him.
"It's coco. Now what was it you wanted to discuss?"
"How did you get Crowley to like you?" Was not how he wanted to ask the question but that's the way it came out of his mouth.
"I didn't GET Crowley to like me. He just did."
"Well how did he get you to like him then? How you you know you like him?" Ooh this was hard. "When, when did you know you liked him? How did it feel? What was it like?" He had no idea what the actual thing he wanted to know was. Aziraphale sighed.
"It was some time in the 40s and I had business against the Nazis. I was unfortunately betrayed and was about to be discorporated. And Crowley arrived, walked down the isle to me on consecrated ground no less. With much physical discomfort on his part. He not only saved ME, but he saved something very important to me. And then calm as ever offered me a ride." He paused to sip his own coco. "And it felt for all the world like I had been bombed out along with the church. It wasn't the first time he had shown up at the final hour to rescue me from something or another. But something about that time just made me realize I was in love. And I might have been in love for thousands of years already." Aziraphale explained very briefly into the mug of coco.
"That doesn't help me at all."
"Well why did you ask then?"
"I'm trying to figure out if I like someone. Romantically." He picked up the mug and took a hesitant sip. Anything to keep from having to talk again. Did he like the beverage? He didn't know, but he took another sip anyway.
"What do your feelings feel like? Maybe we can figure it out that way."
"Well, I hate them." Gabriel began.
"That's not a great start. Not even Crowley and I hated each other when we met. I was a bit frightened of the unknown I'll admit, but that quickly faded."
"I think about them all the time. We've mmmmet a feewww times before for business reasons, but this last time something was different. Something between us felt different." He confessed.
"Well you might be on to something then. Perhaps you could find a common interest?"
"Common interest? I have nothing in common with a de-" he stopped himself just in time. Aziraphale didn't so much as blink at his slip up.
"Well you said you've been meeting with them for some time, surely you must have some knowledge of something they like? " Aziraphale gave a little hand wave.
"Food! I know they like food!" He was actually certain of that.
"Ah, excellent start. Take them to dinner perhaps?"
"Probably not a good idea. At least not at the start. They're um. Not the most social.”
"I see. You could bring them a gift? Some sweets are always a good choice."
"Yeah, yeah I think that's it. Fruit is sweet right?"
"Yes, that's not usually the customary sweet if you're going to be courting someone." Aziraphale cautioned.
"Oh, I think it will be just fine. That was very helpful. Thank you Aziraphale. I actually think I have everything that I need."
"I'm glad I could be of help. You might want to consider Crowley's advice as well. Try to be a bit gentler? Remember the old saying. You catch more flies with honey." He had the audacity to wink.
"Right, okay Iwillthanksbye!" He absolutely hightailed it out of there. There is no earthly way Aziraphale could have known who this was all about but his last comment seemed very much on purpose.
Aziraphale waited until he was very very sure Gabriel was gone before he called Crowley.
"He's gone."
"That was a short visit."
"Yes thank goodness!"
"Did you get him sorted out?"
"I'm not sure. But he seemed to have some sort of idea." He paused. "Crowley dear, I think this has to do with that interruption we experienced last week, don't you?"
"Heaven help us all if it does Angel." He could hear Crowley's grin.
"Is that Mr. Fell?" Anathema piped up from someplace near Crowley. "Hello Aziraphale!" He must have held the phone out towards her to make it easier to hear.
"Hello sweet girl! Are you doing well?"
"Yes! Thank you for lending me your boyfriend for a little while! I'll send him back in one piece!"
"You're quite welcome! I'll be by to see all your hard work soon!"
"We'll see you then!"
Little did Gabriel know one week earlier:
They had been watching Golden Girls and relaxing when there was an interruption in the sound. Static followed by a deep ominous buzzing.
"Oh no, here it comes. Brace yourself Angel." Crowley warned, putting a protective arm out in front of Aziraphale.
"CROWLEY." Bea Arthur made unnerving eye contact through the television. "AZZZIRAPHALE." the voice added only slightly quieter.
"Lord Beelzebub, to what do we owe the pleasure of your correspondence."
"I AM IN NEED OF... ASSISTANCE. AND REGRETTABLY I BELIEVE YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO IZZ ABLE TO HELP."
"Uh, alright then. What can I do for you your highness?" Crowley shot Aziraphale a confused little look.
"THIZZ MUST BE KEPT CONFIDENTIAL CROWLEY."
"Yes, of course."
"AZZIRAPHALE."
"Um, yes yes. I don't really answer to heaven much anymore. So ah, no worries."
"GOOD." There was a significant pause. Bea Arthur stared at them blankly. "HOW DOES ONE INFLUENCE AN ANGEL TO ENGAGE IN CARNAL RELATIONS?" Bea asked suddenly enough to make the pair startle a little.
"How does one do WHAT?"
"DO NOT MAKE ME REPEAT MYZELF CROWLEY."
"Yes, uh, right. My apologies. Well. Ah er, mmmm I've never actually done that? Per se? I mean, we have. But we've been you know building up to it, going slow. We were friends first." Crowley fumbled through his explanation.
"THAT DOEZ NOT HELP ME CROWLEY. I AM NOT GOING TO POSTPONE COITUS FOR MILLENIA."
"Right, We're an unusual case, I know,"
"AZIRAPHALE."
"Yes?" There was no answer, so he hesitantly continued. "Well. Angels aren't predisposed to... mmm, lust? So it may take some time. Angels are full of love? Maybe most of them get it a little backwards but - If you like love?"
"DEMONZZ DO NOT LOVE."
"I'm sitting right here." Crowley looked a little hurt.
"GOOD DEMONZZZ DO NOT LOVE."
"I'll take that actually. Look maybe just try to like them. See if you have things in common. Find an activity you both enjoy. Or at least an activity one of you enjoys and the other one can tolerate?"
"Maybe if we knew -" Aziraphale began.
"THAT IS PRIVATE INFORMATION."
"Right, right. I understand." He backed off.
"I WILL THINK ON THIZZ INFORMATION. REMEMBER THIZZ IS CONFIDENTIAL CONTACT. GOODBYE."
And with another eye-watering buzz the Golden Girls were restored.
"I don't even want to guess where this is all going Angel." Crowley admitted.
"I'm a little curious actually." Aziraphale smiled back.