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Zenitsu is travelling to the next town over with Inosuke - they've been tasked with catching a rampant demon on a killing spree - when halfway to their location, Inosuke turns to him and says, "Hey, about you and Tanjirou. The girls said you guys are together now? What does that mean? Aren't we all always together?"
Zenitsu stops in his tracks, both baffled at Inosuke's ignorance and the fact that apparently the girls at the mansion think that him and Tanjirou are, what, a couple? Despite his probably very obvious feelings, he doesn't see where that kind of assumption could've come from; most of the time when he's with Tanjirou, Inosuke is also in their vicinity.
"When people say two people are together, they usually mean it in a romantic way," he says, choosing to educate Inosuke over considering the implications of what he's just been told.
"What? You guys are mating?!" Inosuke asks, and his mask turns in Zenitsu's stomach's direction. "Can you-?"
"I can't get pregnant, what the hell is wrong with you?!" Zenitsu yells, face red, and smacks him across the head.
Inosuke growls, rubbing a hand against the back of his mask. "Then what are you mating for? I don't get it."
"We- we're not mating! First of all, the girls have the wrong idea. Second of all, people don't get together just for the purpose of having children, you know!"
Inosuke cocks his head to the side. "They don't?"
Zenitsu sighs and kicks a stone off the side of the road. "Listen, I know you grew up in the wild, but maybe you should, like, try to get some basic education, if only so you don't cause huge misunderstandings in the future."
Inosuke hmphs and flexes his arms. "As if I need that kind of stuff! I'm fine as I am!"
Zenitsu opens his mouth to tell him he's wrong, he definitely needs to learn some common sense, but before he can say anything, he hears the distant sound of a scream.
"Inosuke, I think the demon-" he says, his hand moving towards his sword. He feels his heart pick up speed.
"Alright, let's go!" Inosuke yells, taking off running in the town's direction, arms spread out behind him, holding his swords.
"Wait, you idiot, don't go without me!"
He forgets about his conversation with Inosuke until they're back at the Butterfly mansion. They're both sporting a couple of bruises across their bodies but at least no ribs were broken this time around, so Zenitsu's well enough to walk around without worrying anyone.
He decides to look for Kiyo first because she always seems to know all the gossip going around the place - she has an easy-to-speak-to face - and he finds her helping Aoi fold some laundry by the front of the garden.
He drops down to his knees next to her and quietly watches as she neatly folds a table cloth with her tiny hands.
"Do you want to help?" She innocently asks, noticing him staring, and he can't find it in himself to say no so he picks a sheet himself and starts to fold it.
"Say, Kiyo-chan, Inosuke said you guys told him that Tanjirou and I are together," he glances at her out the corner of his eye, "is that true?"
She nods, pressing out the wrinkles on her folded cloth and placing it on the basket next to her. "Yes. It was surprising that he didn't know, you guys are such good friends."
Not so surprising when you consider it's totally untrue, Zenitsu thinks.
"I see..."
He can tell Aoi is listening in on their conversation, but it still surprises him when she pipes in. "What's this about?"
He bites his lip, looking down at the sheet in his hands. "Well, uh, I was just wondering where you guys got that idea from."
Aoi frowns. "It was Tanjirou, of course." Kiyo nods in agreement.
Zenitsu knows they're telling the truth, he can hear their steady heartbeats pumping in their chests, but it doesn't make what they're saying sound any less crazy. What, what, what? Tanjirou has been telling people he and Zenitsu are a couple? In what universe does that make sense? Good, honest, Tanjirou is going around telling a lie that benefits literally no one? It's ridiculous.
Zenitsu folds the rest of the sheet in a rush and places it on the basket like Kiyo did. "Thanks, Aoi-chan, Kiyo-chan. I'll leave you guys to it, I have something I have to do," he says, unsteadily pushing himself to his feet. His heart is beating so fast he's sure it's on the verge of breaking past his ribs.
"You're welcome?" Aoi says, sounding unsure.
Kiyo waves at him as he walks off, and as he turns around the corner, he can hear her ask, "Is he mad at Tanjirou-san?"
"No, I don't think it's that," Aoi replies, and after that Zenitsu covers his ears with both hands, willing their voices to fade away.
This is so embarrassing.
He follows the sound of Tanjirou's breathing and heartbeat down the halls of the mansion and into one of the rooms by the training hall. He enters quietly, aware that Tanjirou is asleep, and closes the door behind him with as little noise as possible.
Tanjirou is stretched across a futon with both legs spread out and tangled in the sheets. He looks hilarious, with drool on the side of his mouth and letting out soft little snores that remind Zenitsu of a child - he looks like that and yet, Zenitsu's treacherous heart still dares to skip a beat at the sight of him.
"Tanjirou," he whispers, walking closer and kneeling by the side of the futon. "Hey, wake up." He gently pokes him on the cheek. Tanjirou lets out a little noise and smacks his lips together. It's incredibly cute, except he's still sleeping like a log.
"Okay, you asked for it," Zenitsu says, right before jumping on him. "WAKE UP!"
Instead of getting pushed away like he expects, he only has time to let out a snort at Tanjirou's strangled scream before he suddenly finds himself enveloped by his arms and legs.
"Zenitsu?" Tanjirou asks, voice hoarse. His breath tickles Zenitsu's ear and sends a shiver down his spine.
"Uh, yeah, can you let go?" Zenitsu chokes out.
"Ah." Tanjirou unwinds his arms and legs from around him and watches quietly as Zenitsu pushes himself off of him. "Why are you here?"
Zenitsu feels his face get hot but refuses to look away. He squares his shoulders. "I know you're an idiot who doesn't know what he's saying half the time but please tell me: have you been telling people we're a couple?"
Tanjirou's eyes widen and he pushes himself up on his elbows. The yukata he's wearing slips a little on his shoulder, revealing the end of his collarbone, and Zenitsu looks away.
"I haven't!" He says, shaking his head.
"Well, the girls seem to think you have."
Tanjirou frowns, clumsily pushing his hair off his forehead and almost falling back from the shift in balance. "I swear I haven't."
Zenitsu sighs and pats him on the thigh. "Yeah, I can hear you're telling the truth. The only problem is that I could hear the girls were telling the truth as well, which means one of you believes what they're saying is true even though it isn't." He pinches Tanjirou through the fabric of the yukata. "And I think it's you."
Tanjirou scrunches up his nose, rubbing his thigh. "I didn't say anything like that! All I said was-" he falls silent, a look of realization falling over his face. He pushes himself up so he's sitting at eye level with Zenitsu. "Well, they asked me if I liked you and I said I did and then when they asked me if you liked me back I said you did. Maybe they assumed from that-?"
"You like me?!" Zenitsu shakes his head. "Wait, you told them I like you?!" He fans his face with one hand and tries to calm his racing heartbeat. One, two, one, two, one, two. It's definitely not working.
"I mean, it's true, isn't it? I can smell it on you," Tanjirou says, cocking his head. The bastard has the gall not to look the least bit embarrassed about their conversation.
"And you didn't say anything?!"
"I thought we had decided not to do anything about it."
"When?! When was such a decision made?! Were you talking with my clone or something?!" Zenitsu yells, leaning in to shake Tanjirou by the shoulders.
Tanjirou grabs his hands and gently pulls them off himself. "You must have known I liked you too. You can hear everything, Zenitsu."
"I didn't know! I didn't know at all!" He hides his face behind the sleeves of his haori.
"How could you not know? Just yesterday you knew Inosuke was going to ask for food before he even did it!"
"That's different!" Zenitsu tries to crawl away, but Tanjirou grabs his arms and pulls them away from his face, stopping his movements.
"How so?" He asks, staring intently.
"W-well, your sound, uh, it's a bit distracting."
"That doesn't make sense."
Zenitsu pulls his arms out of his hold and points a finger at him. "Shut up, you have no room to talk! What the hell do you mean, you knew I liked you all along but assumed for some reason I agreed not to do anything about it?! Shut up, that's what makes no sense!"
"I thought you were okay with where things were!"
"Who's okay with that?! I wanna kiss you!"
Tanjirou stares at him, open mouthed, and Zenitsu, brain catching up with his mouth, lets out a strangled scream and covers his burning face with both hands, miserably mortified at his own outburst.
"You- you wanna kiss?"
Zenitsu groans. "Shut up!"
"Hey, you wanna kiss, Zenitsu?" Tanjirou asks again, and his voice sounds closer now. Zenitsu feels his hands on his own and reluctantly lets him pull them away from his face. "Kiss kiss?"
Zenitsu looks up, lips trembling. "Y-yes."
Tanjirou grins strangely, a bit crooked and nervous. "Okay!" He leans forward and bumps his head against Zenitsu's, softly enough that it doesn't hurt. "Go ahead." His face is red.
"You want me to do it?!" Zenitsu sputters. He's convinced he's reached his threshold of embarrassment.
"You don't want to?" Tanjirou asks, looking crestfallen. He turns his head to the side, pouting. "But you said yes? Did I misunderstand something?"
"You didn't! But-" Zenitsu says, squeezing his eyes shut. He pulls his hands out of Tanjirou's grip and laces their fingers together instead. "It's a bit embarrassing..." He hesitantly peeks one eye open, feeling his body burn so hot that the back of his neck feels sticky with sweat.
"Oh," Tanjirou says, and he's looking down at their hands, his heart beating so loud it almost drowns out the sound of Zenitsu's own knocking against his ribcage. "Then, can I?" He looks up, an almost shy smile on his face that Zenitsu feels like an arrow to his chest.
Unable to speak, he nods, letting his eye fall closed again. Tanjirou seems to take that as his cue to lean forward, and before he knows it, Zenitsu is feeling the soft touch of his lips against his. All at once, every sound in the mansion disappears except for Tanjirou's - his breathing, his heartbeat, the sound of his eyelashes brushing against his cheeks, his fingers squeezing Zenitsu's, his knees shifting against the futon as he moves closer. It's too much and not enough all at once, Zenitsu wants to wrap him in his arms and squeeze him so tight they can never be apart ever again; but he can't, so instead he lets Tanjirou brush his nose against his and press small little kisses from the corner of his mouth up to his eyelids, then back down again. Somehow, he knew kissing Tanjirou would be like this - like he's being filled up with a warm tingly light that will cling to his breastbone and the insides of his lungs for the rest of his life, affecting his every action from this moment on. He welcomes it gladly, nothing that comes from Tanjirou could ever be poisonous.
When they break apart, both breathing hard, Zenitsu takes a moment to savor what just happened before he slowly opens his eyes, finding Tanjirou staring dazedly at him.
"I really really like you," Tanjirou says, and it sounds like 'I love you'.
Zenitsu places a hand over Tanjirou's eyes, covering himself from view. "Yeah," he swallows down the happy laugh trying to bubble up his throat. "Me too."
Tanjirou makes a confused sound and rests his hands over Zenitsu's. "What's wrong?"
"N-nothing," he says. How is he supposed to explain that he just doesn't want Tanjirou to see his current expression. That's too embarrassing.
Tanjirou slowly drags Zenitsu's hand down from his face, encasing it in his own and resting them on his lap. He glances at Zenitsu's face. "Ah, I get it." His cheeks turn a shade darker and he looks down at their hands. "It's okay, this is a bit-" he laughs softly, "-even for me." He brings his hands up and wraps his arms around Zenitsu's shoulders, pulling him down against his chest. Zenitsu lets him, closing his eyes and resting his cheek against it.
"What now?" he asks.
"What now?" Tanjirou repeats, sounding confused.
"We...kissed," Zenitsu says, almost choking on the words. He still can't believe it actually happened. Maybe, in reality, he's just passed out on the ground about to be eaten by a demon, and none of this is real.
"Oh! I see!" Tanjirou leans slightly back so he can look down at him. "Well, everyone already thinks we're together, so it's fine!"
Zenitsu stares at him for a long moment, and then, unable to stop himself, lets out a laugh. "Whose fault do you think that is, you idiot!"
"It all worked out!" Tanjirou says, rubbing his cheek against the top of Zenitsu's head. The gentle sound of him is mixed with the usual underlying sound of affection, and now that Zenitsu actually knows what that means, he can't help but feel giddy with happiness. He burrows his head further against Tanjirou's chest and sighs, thinking of how things ended up like this.
"You have some unusual luck, you know that?"
Tanjirou laughs and hugs him tighter. "I know. "
And Zenitsu thinks they're probably not talking about the same thing, but that's okay.
END