Work Text:
Whenever Asahi did anything with Noya, he always lingered a second too long.
When he called Noya to go shopping with him for their victory party, there was a beat of silence before they hung up. A beat of time where Asahi felt scared, because there were things he always wanted to say. A beat of time where Asahi felt exposed, as if Noya was always calculating, analyzing Asahi’s every move in every moment.
Being around Noya was a risk. A risk that the light would refract in just the right way so that he was transparent, and his feelings, whatever they were, would be visible. A risk that Noya would turn him and shake him so that perhaps he could get a glimpse into his soul for longer than a moment.
Asahi didn’t take risks.
Or so he thought.
This time, they were trying on shirts.
“What do you think?” exclaimed Noya, boisterous as ever, bursting from his dressing room and drawing attention to himself. He wore an orange button-down shirt with the collar turned up.
Asahi sighed. “It looks great, but…” he mumbled, reaching his hands out to fix Noya’s collar. His hands brushed the back of Noya’s neck. It was soft.
Again, Asahi lingered a moment too long.
He brought his hands back down to his sides, hanging heavy with secrecy. Noya grinned. His smile brought a flutter in Asahi’s chest. It had done that for a while, now.
“What did you do that for, Asahi-san? I think it looks cooler!”
Asahi smiled. “But that’s not how you’re supposed to wear it.”
“But what if I want to?” Noya challenged, popping the collar again. Noya’s little defiances always made Asahi laugh.
He reached back out for the collar, and this time Noya’s hands fought his own, struggling to push away Asahi’s. But he managed to wrangle them away, and now here they were left, Noya’s hands wrapped around Asahi’s.
Asahi didn’t want to let go.
A moment passed and Noya brought his hands back. “Now can I see what you picked out?”
“Sure,” answered Asahi, and suddenly Noya had pulled him into the dressing room and shut the door so that they were in together. Noya started unbuttoning his shirt, and Asahi had to look away to hide the blush already dusting his cheeks.
Asahi took off his own shirt while looking at the floor, and slipped on a black button-down after. He caught Noya staring out of the corner of his eye, but out of impatience or admiration, he didn’t know.
“Did you choose the other Karasuno color on purpose?” Noya asked, smirking. Asahi rubbed the back of his neck.
“Do you… not want to match?”
Noya grabbed Asahi’s hand, squeezing it. “No, it’s perfect! It’s just the right thing to celebrate our win!”
Asahi cursed his fragile heart.
And he squeezed Noya’s hand in return.
Asahi didn’t take risks, he thought, but when Daichi’s party for Karsuno’s victory over Shiratorizawa came, he found himself by Noya’s side the whole time.
First, when Asahi had walked in, it was Noya who locked eyes with him first. It seemed as though he radiated a blinding light, in his orange button-down with the collar turned up, and no one else who was there mattered. And he smiled.
For a second, it was as if they were the only two who existed.
“Asahi!” greeted Daichi, appearing from seemingly nowhere and clapping him on the shoulder. “There’s our ace. We have snacks and drinks in my kitchen, and once everyone arrives we’ll order more food and turn on some movies.”
“Th-thank you,” Asahi said, still startled by Daichi’s sudden appearance, and still taking everything in after being blinded by Noya.
The party seemed lively, even with some people missing. The first years sat in a circle in the living room, Kageyama growing increasingly frustrated with the others. Suga and Noya were laughing about something, as the other second years were missing.
“Asahi-san!” exclaimed Noya, his face lighting up as Asahi approached. He clapped Asahi on the back, too, and turned to Suga. “Look, he wanted to go shopping, and we got matching Karasuno colors!”
“That’s cute,” Suga smiled, almost devilish-y at Asahi’s blush. “I just found this one in the depths of my closet. I’m pretty sure Daichi did the same, except it looks as though it hardly fits him anymore,” he laughed.
“Hey, I’ll have you know this was only from my first year in high school!” Daichi replied.
“Yeah, well you’ve gotten buff since then!”
Daichi mumbled something, and the pink on his face was obvious. They all laughed.
This time, Asahi wasn’t scared that Noya was at his side.
The night continued. Soon the rest of the second years arrived, and Noya seemed even more fired up with Tanaka at his side. As promised, Daichi ordered more food and turned on some action movie in the living room for all the boys to yell at.
Of course, Asahi ended up squished on a couch next to Noya.
Okay, maybe he did try his best to sit next to him.
Asahi nursed a cup of fruit punch as Noya yelled excitedly at whatever was happening. To be honest, Asahi wasn’t watching the movie as much anymore as he was watching Noya react to it, smiling at every little comment and move he made.
Also, it didn’t help his feelings that their arms and thighs were pretty much pressed together because Tanaka was squished in on Noya’s other side.
Oh well. Asahi figured that he could linger here as long as he wanted.
The night grew later, movies finished, and a few left—such as Ennoshita who had to wake up early, and Tsukishima, who had some extra class the next day. The party was already winding down, but Asahi didn’t want to leave Noya’s side just yet. Even if he was transparent, with all of his feelings out on display.
Thankfully, Asahi didn’t have to make the move.
He was in the kitchen, refilling his punch, when Noya approached. Everyone else was busy chatting, wondering if they should play some party games before it got too late or just stay the night at Daichi’s house.
“Hey, Asahi-san,” said Noya, resting his cheek against Asahi’s arm. He could tell that even Noya’s energy was dwindling. “Your place is closer to here, right? Can I stay the night?”
Asahi’s face turned red. “Huh? Uh… I’m sure it won’t be a problem?”
Noya sighed. “I just feel like I’m going to fall asleep on the way home…”
“Well, I could just walk you home?”
Noya shook his head. “I want to go with you.”
And for once, Noya was the one who was transparent.
When they arrived at Asahi’s house, Asahi didn’t have time to pull out an extra futon. Noya just collapsed on his bed.
“...Noya? Do you want to shower, at least?” Asahi asked, trying to will his heart to not beat as fast. “Or do you want something to change into?”
Noya nodded, wiggling himself under Asahi’s blankets. Asahi dug through his closet for a big t-shirt and some more comfortable sweatpants, and tossed them on top of Noya.
“Asahi-san?” said Noya, voice no louder than a whisper.
Noya’s sudden shift caught Asahi off-guard.
“Yeah?”
Noya was quiet for a moment too long.
“Thank you.”
Asahi smiled. He could tell that wasn’t quite what Noya had wanted to say, having been in the very same position many times before. He could tell that something bright and passionate burned inside of Noya. He could tell that Noya was taking the risk this time.
“You’re welcome,” Asahi said, leaving his room to go shower. “Now, change.”
When Asahi returned, hair wet and body damp and fatigued, Noya still wasn’t asleep. He was surprised, he guessed, since Noya seemed so tired before.
“Asahi-san,” Noya said when he returned.
“What is it?”
Noya paused.
“You don’t need an extra futon.”
“Okay.”
Heart beating fast, Asahi slipped into his bed next to Noya.
There were a couple centimeters of awkward space between them.
“You can get closer, it’s alright,” Noya whispered.
“Are you sure?”
Asahi barely saw Noya nod in the dark.
He relaxed, and let himself lie against Noya.
He was small. He seemed bigger, earlier, when his personality (and shouting) alone could fill the entire Sawamura household. He seemed bigger, all wrapped up in Asahi’s clothes, a few sizes too large.
But now, he was small.
He pressed his head to Asahi’s chest.
Asahi slipped his arms around him.
He moved closer.
“Goodnight,” he said.
Asahi pressed his lips to Noya’s forehead.
“Goodnight.”
Asahi woke up a few times during the night.
Each time, he just hugged Noya closer.
In the morning, Asahi’s arms were empty.
He sat up slowly, wondering if the whole thing was just a dream, some sort of twisted wish-fulfillment that his mind had conjured just to mock him.
But then Noya was there, sitting at his desk, still dressed in Asahi’s oversized clothes, gazing longingly out the window. And when Asahi sat up, Noya’s piercing gaze turned to him.
They were both transparent now.
They stared at each other as equals. As all of their secrets lay out in the open. Their beating hearts exposed, each filled with equal parts trepidation and passion.
They each lingered for a moment too long.
“Good morning, Asahi-san,” said Noya finally, smiling and moving to sit by him on the bed. His hand brushed against Asahi’s.
Asahi returned the smile. “Good morning.”
Again, they grew quiet.
Then Noya broke the silence with a laugh.
“So, what are we?” he asked, his hand brushing against Asahi’s again, and this time staying there. It was shaking slightly.
Asahi smiled, and he pulled Noya in for a hug.
He smelled like old hair gel, Asahi’s shampoo, and fruit punch.
“For how long have you wanted to thrust yourself into my life like this?” Asahi asked, laughing into Noya’s half-spiked half-messy hair. Noya’s hands clutched at the shirt fabric on his back.
“I dunno. As soon as I noticed you acting all weird.”
“And when did you notice?”
Noya shrugged. “Definitely yesterday. Maybe before that. Maybe I’ve wanted to ever since I brought you back to the club.”
Asahi felt his heartbeat quicken. He knew Noya could feel it, too. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Asahi-san, I…” he paused for a moment, as if gathering his words. “I really like you. I don’t know since when. I’ve always liked receiving for you, and being behind you to catch the ball if you’re ever blocked, and… at some point it turned into this.”
Of course Noya was bringing up volleyball in a time like now. Asahi couldn’t stop smiling.
He ran his fingers through Noya’s mess of hair.
“I think I’ve always liked you,” was all he said.
And for a while there, they lingered, without fear or doubt or the desire to stay hidden.
“Asahi-san?”
“Yeah?”
Noya looked up at him, eyes still piercing but now softer. Asahi watched him hesitate, as if to ask for approval, and when Asahi gave a kind smile, Noya pressed their lips together.
Asahi’s fragile heart felt as though it would burst.
He wouldn’t mind lingering here.