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Cole parted the hair at the back of his head. There was a fuzzy spot there. Why did he have that again? He winced at the slight throb of pain as he pressed a finger against his scalp. He could feel something there. Right, a stitch. He has stitches there.
He opened the medicine cabinet- he remembered that- and found the painkillers. Next to it was a little PostIt note. In neat manuscript- it was Zane's, right?- it read 'Cole, you hit your head after a terrible fall a few weeks ago and suffered a concussion. These should help with some of the remaining pain.'
Okay, he had a bad fall. That doesn't sound very enjoyable. But stitches were a good thing. Cole took two tablets to hopefully get through most of the day.
He left the bathroom and headed for the kitchen. He was really hungry, so it must be breakfast time!
As he made his way around the corner, Cole laughed and ran straight for Kai, his boyfriend. The smaller man yelped as Cole gathered him in his arms for a tight hug.
"Good morning, Kai," Cole greeted. He heard his boyfriend laugh and reach his arms behind him to hug him back.
"Morning, bear," Kai whispered. They ignored Nya's gentle coo. "You hungry? Zane's almost done with breakfast." Cole nodded and took his seat beside his boyfriend.
As Zane made his way to the table, carrying a large platter of waffles, Cole waved to grab the nindroid’s attention. “Hey Zane, thanks for the painkillers. They’re already helping.”
“Of course, Cole. Does anyone want strawberries?” Zane asked, passing around the bowl of cut fruit. Kai took it quietly and piled his waffles with them.
“Hey, Cole,” Kai whispered. The earth elemental leaned closer to hear him. “Wanna go out and just wander with me today? Just to relax and hang out together.” Cole couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Cole blinked before he shot up from his bed and whipped his head around to check his surroundings. Wasn’t he supposed to be somewhere? He raised his hand, ready to hit his temple and see if that would joggle anything. Something inside him told him not to do that, though. Instead, he lifted his hand higher to ruffle his hair a bit. He almost didn’t hear the soft knock on the door.
“Cole, you ready?” he heard Kai say softly from the other side. Cole stood up, confused and almost tripped over a pair of shoes that he recognized as his own. He was going… Oh!
“Uh, almost! I guess I just laid down for a bit and fell asleep,” he called out, hopping on each foot as he tugged on his shoes. He ran his hands over his shirt in hopes of getting rid of some wrinkles. He opened the door and kissed the top of Kai’s head. “Now I’m ready. Where do you want to go first?” Kai shrugged and only beckoned for Cole to follow him. And, rolling his eyes, he did.
Cole petted the horse’s nose in soothing strokes. He never would have thought that Kai would think of a stable as a way to relax, much less a farm that was probably in the middle of nowhere. But that’s exactly where they were and it was surprisingly calming for Cole. Maybe it reminded Kai of home. It would explain why Kai was holding a baby goat in his arms and it had a tranquil look on its face. Baby goats were called ‘kids’, right? Cole mentally shrugged and hoped he was right.
The horse snorted before trotting away to eat some of the hay on the ground. Cole chuckled and joined Kai, sitting beside him. He petted between the eyes with two fingers. Eventually, the kid began to bleat and Kai set it down to let it find its mother.
“This is nice,” Cole said. He smiled as Kai rested his head on his shoulder. “Sometimes I forget that you’re still a village boy at heart.”
“I like goats and chickens,” Kai said giddily. Cole ran his fingers through the soft brown spikes, grateful that Kai was using less hair gel recently. Cole opened his mouth to say something when suddenly his mind blanked. What was he going to say?
“So… Cole? What do you think?” Kai asked him, grunting as he stood up and brushed off some of the dirt from his jeans.
“Huh? Wait, what?” Cole scrunched his face. “What were we talking about?” Kai frowned, an eyebrow raised in confusion.
“Cole, are you okay? Maybe we should just go home and talk with Zane,” Kai suggested, holding a hand out for Cole. He immediately grabbed it and shook his head, ignoring the dull throb that was practically nonexistent.
“No, I just want to spend the day with you. I swear, I’m fine,” Cole reassured. Kai smiled gently.
“Maybe those painkillers are making you a bit loopy. But if you say you’re fine, then I guess we can stay out for a while longer. I asked you if you wanted to get something to eat and then go to the park,” Kai said. He smirked as Cole bowed his head sheepishly. “Or do I even have to ask, bear?”
“I want to eat first. Am I that predictable?” Cole asked, a silly pout on his face. He lowered his head so Kai could kiss him without struggling to stay on his toes.
“Sometimes, but I still love you,” Kai teased.
He couldn’t help but think as he ate one of the brownies he and Kai bought from a bakery. They probably should have eaten something that resembled more of a stable lunch but whatever, fuck it. They were enjoying their time together, they could do what they wanted.
“Hey, Kai?” Cole spoke up. Kai chuckled and wiped away some brownie bits from the corner of his mouth. He couldn’t help but laugh as well. “Okay, I get it.”
“Messy eater,” Kai simply said. “What is it?”
“Weren’t there a lot of tentacles when I fell?” Cole asked. He remembered cold strands reaching for him from darkness too black to be natural or real. He couldn’t feel anything so maybe he already fell.
He watched as Kai fidgeted, tugging at the hem of his shirt.
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, there were. A lot, too. Why?” Kai mumbled.
“Just remembered it. God, that was terrifying,” Cole commented, stealing another brownie from the box.
“It was,” Kai said painfully. He reached out to squeeze Cole’s large hand. Cole returned it and didn’t let go. “I wanted to go back to find you. I was so scared that you… I didn’t want you to be gone. I can’t tell you how happy I was to see you again.” Cole huffed with a smile.
“I’m glad I remember that.” He tapped the side of his head. “Of all the things that are still jumbled up in here, it’s a good thing you never got lost.”
“That was almost too cheesy for me,” Kai snorted. He gently shoved Cole and laughed when he almost dropped the brownie.
“Joke’s on you, I’d still eat it off the ground!” Cole shouted.
“God, you’re so gross!” Kai couldn’t help but cackle. Cole knew that even though he couldn’t remember it all, Kai being here with him was enough to make it all feel right.
“Cole!” Jay screamed at him in warning before the bottle of soda hit his head. He couldn’t help but gasp at the sudden shock of pain. He had gotten the stitches out already but his scalp was still a bit tender. “Dude, I’m sorry! I thought you were gonna catch that. Here.” Jay held the bottle out for Cole to take.
“Sorry. Guess I wasn’t paying attention. Thanks for the soda,” Cole said, rubbing his head. He removed the lid and practically chugged the drink before burping. Lloyd laughed and pressed play to start the movie.
“Gross,” Nya said sarcastically before burping herself. Cole stuck his tongue out.
“Like you’re one to talk,” he joked. He set the bottle down and sat down next to Kai before lifting him up to sit on his lap. Kai immediately curled up and rested his head against his chest. “Love you, kitten,” Cole hummed, his eyes flicking quickly to see the time. Only five past six and Kai already wanted to sleep. Still, Cole held him close.
Cole yawned and realized that the credits were already rolling. He checked the clock again.
“How is it already eight?” he screamed, panic in his eyes. He nearly stood up but tightened his grip on Kai to pick him up before doing so. He almost didn’t notice Kai trying to push away from him.
“Cole, is everything alright?” Zane asked calmly. Cole forced himself to start taking deep breaths.
“Bear, baby, please put me down,” Kai asked softly. Cole nodded and did so. “Cole, what’s wrong? Does your head still hurt? I can get you more painkillers if you need them.”
“No, no,” Cole interrupted Kai, holding his head up with his hands. His head didn’t hurt but his mind did. That didn’t make sense! What is happening? What is wrong with him?!
Zane was already dragging him away to the bedroom. When did he start doing that? Why couldn’t he remember that?
“Cole, I’m going to make an appointment to see a doctor. Please tell me what is wrong,” Zane asked him. What was wrong? “Cole, tell me. Please.” Cole bit his lip to keep it from trembling. He was crying.
“What do you want me to tell you? I don’t understand, Zane.” Wait, why was he crying? Why was he shouting at Zane?
Cole laid down on the MRI machine’s table and waited for the doctors to do whatever they needed to do. One of them surrounded his head with what looked like a cage. This was supposed to scan his brain. He did his best to stay still but it felt like he was going to fall or tip the table because of his size.
“Alright, Cole. You’re already doing it but I want you to stay as still as you can during the duration of the scan,” he heard the radiologist’s say through the speaker.
“How long is this going to take?” Cole asked, doing as he was told but trying to not stiffen up too much.
“These usually take as long as either thirty minutes to an hour. It’s so we can have as clear of images as we can. Now, don’t move but try to relax. I’ll be here to keep you company. And please mind the noise. It’s just the machine, that’s all,” the radiologist reassured.
Cole sighed and mumbled an “Okay,” trying to block out the loud humming of the MRI scanner. “Question: where’s Kai and the others?”
“They’re all in the waiting room. Don’t worry, they’re fine. Just worried for you,” the radiologist said.
“Am I going to be admitted as a patient?” Cole asked, reminding himself to not lift his head.
“We will keep you overnight just as a precaution and check your vitals. There was a lot of urgency in your friend’s call so we’re going to try and get you the results as quickly as we can.” They both went silent for some time when a question popped into Cole’s mind.
“Excuse me, how long will this take?” he asked.
“Between thirty and sixty minutes,” the radiologist said.
“Okay, thanks. That’s a long time, though. Am I allowed to listen to music?” Cole asked.
“Of course. Oh, I wish you had asked beforehand. We have headphones but we started some time ago. Let me look for a good station for you. What music do you like?” the radiologist asked.
“Rock. Usually soft rock,” Cole said. Music soon filled the room, slowly rising in volume. “Thank you.”
“Of course. Just don’t move your head,” the radiologist chuckled. Cole let himself get lost in the music, the bass, the chorus, the drums- his personal favorite- and didn’t even realize when the songs changed or when the machine slowly powered down.
When the music was turned off, Cole opened his eyes. A nurse was there, removing the cage thing and held out his hand for Cole. He helped the earth elemental sit up and led him to a cot. The nurse and doctor pushed him down maze-like halls to a hospital room. The others were already there waiting. Kai ran up to him and hugged him tighter than what people thought he was capable of.
“Kai, it’s okay. I’m fine,” Cole said, rubbing his back. He could feel his shoulder growing wet from tears.
Zane spoke with the doctors for some time before joining them all again. Jay and Lloyd brought video games to keep them all distracted. Cole didn’t realize it until only Kai was holding his hand that it was already dark out and they were alone.
“Damn, time sure does fly when you can’t remember what happened,” Cole tried to joke. His chuckle died when he saw the sadness in golden eyes. “Sorry.”
“You’re coping, it’s fine.” Kai squeezed his hand lightly. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” Cole said, leaning close to kiss the tip of Kai’s nose. “I’ll never forget that.”
Cole insisted that Kai could sleep on the bed with him but his boyfriend is too stubborn for his own good and stayed in his chair. They never let go of each other that night regardless.
“Anterograde amnesia,” the doctor said. It was a result of the concussion Cole had from his fall. The fall that should have killed him but left him with a bruised and battered body and post-traumatic amnesia, which had been temporary. He remembered most of his fall but almost everything after… It leaves him.
He hit his head too hard. He hurt his brain. His muscles were tightening until it was too painful to even try and loosen up. He was stuck in this cloud of fear until he forgot why he was so scared. He repeatedly asked what was anterograde amnesia when he forgot. He watched as his family and friends asked if there was anything they could do for treatment, only to watch the doctor shake her head. Cole reached over to wipe away the escaping tears from Kai’s eyes.
Somehow, a phone was already in his hand and he could hear his dad say his name on the other side.
“Hey, Dad. How are you?” Cole said cheerfully. He hasn’t spoken to his dad in a while.
“Cole, why are you in the hospital? What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” his father asked in a rushed panic. Cole flinched. Was he already talking to his dad and his weird amnesia thing was confusing him?
Kai reached over and took the phone from Cole. They listened to the conversation.
“Hello, Mr. Brookstone… Lou? Okay, thank you, sir… Your son is alright. But do you remember when we told you about his fall?... Yes, yes, I know. He just hasn’t been able to remember himself about what he has done… Yes, amnesia… I know, sir… Thank you. Goodbye, Lou.” Kai finished his part and handed the phone back to Cole.
“Hey, Dad. I love you, you know that?” Cole said immediately. He heard his dad sigh softly and could feel the sadness coming from him. He wanted him here to comfort him.
“Of course, son. I love you so much. You won’t forget that. Please don’t,” Lou suddenly choked. “Promise to come and visit me soon? I want to see you again.”
“Of course, Dad. I’ll come by this weekend. I love you. Bye,” Cole promised and hung up after his father said goodbye before choking again. He swallowed thickly, incapable of meeting anyone’s eyes. Nya stood up and squeezed his shoulder, a forced smile to try and make it all better. Jay gave him a shaky thumbs-up. Lloyd turned away to face the window. Zane crossed his legs, making it known that he was already researching all that he could about anterograde amnesia and whatever else. Kai rested his head on his shoulder, looping their arms together at the crook of their elbows.
Cole shifted and noticed the phone in his hand. “Do you think I should tell my dad about what happened?” Everyone stayed quiet for a moment before Kai grabbed the phone and put it in his pocket.
“It’s alright. I’ll call him,” Kai whispered. It calmed Cole at least a little. At least his dad will know.
Cole squeezed as tight as he could without hurting Kai in a hug from behind. He stared at their reflection in the bathroom mirror.
“Kai,” he began, “I’m scared.” He couldn’t stop his body from shaking. Kai reached over and stroked his face. He leaned into his touch, ignoring his own tears as they fell.
“Why?” Kai said softly, turning himself around to face his boyfriend. His thumbs wiped away the salty pearls as he cradled Cole’s face in his palms.
“I’m scared ‘cause… what if I do start to forget everything? I’ll forget my dad, the others… you. What will I do when I forget that I even love you?!” Cole started to scream, the tears falling faster. He grabbed Kai’s wrists to keep himself stable and grounded for the moment.
“Cole, I know that will never happen. I will remind you every day that I love you. You know that I will and you know that you would never forget that. You would never let your brain forget something that your heart knows best,” Kai said, resting his forehead on Cole’s, forcing him to look him in the eyes. “I love you, Cole. Never forget that.”
“I love you, too,” Cole sobbed quietly. “I don’t want to forget that.” He wiped his eyes with his sleeves. “What time is it?” Kai smiled softly and rubbed Cole’s bottom lip with his thumb.
“I think around nine in the morning. We should probably go eat breakfast,” he said, turning the bathroom light off and pulled Cole out. Cole let out a short bark of laughter and followed.
“Yeah, I am pretty hungry,” he commented, squeezing the small hand in his. “I love you, Kai. Didn’t forget, I just love telling you that.”
Without warning, Kai jumped onto Cole and kissed him on the lips, holding himself up by crossing his legs around his waist. Cole laughed and returned the surprise kiss, supporting Kai with his arms. When they pulled away, they sighed contently.
“I love you too, Cole. Always.”