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As everyone knew, Todoroki was used to being alone. He couldn’t remember much before his quirk manifested. Beyond a few, vague memories here and there of his siblings - Fuyumi holding his hand like any big sister would as they walked in public, Natsuo pushing him on the swings, Touya side-eyeing him before shuffling into the dojo - he didn’t have much to go by before he was cut off from them. His father had made sure being alone was a familiar feeling instilled in him to the point where he never truly felt lonely. It was simply a part of his life.
When he wanted to play with his siblings but couldn’t, he missed them, but he didn’t feel lonely. When his mother was taken away and he was left to his father’s whims, he missed her, but he didn’t feel lonely. When Touya vanished and he had no one who understood what he was going through, he vaguely missed him, but he didn’t feel lonely. When he moved to the Heights Alliance dorms and was in an unfamiliar place away from Fuyumi, he didn’t feel lonely and didn’t miss the house much either.
It took him a startlingly long time before he ever felt that feeling, and even then, he hadn’t recognized the emotion. It had been late in their second year. Momo went on vacation with her family during break, Uraraka went home to stay with her parents, Iida did internship-like work at his family’s agency, and Midoriya spent time with his mother. He had missed them, as friends did, but it hurt. He stayed at the dorms instead of going home and he was alone and it...really hurt to be by himself.
He hadn’t even realized how much it hurt until Uraraka came back early because of a cheaper train ticket. She had cheerfully hugged him, and he hadn’t wanted to let go of her.
Honestly, he should’ve known then. He should have known he would fall for her while he was holding himself back with Momo, but he could only think in linear logic. He’d missed Momo and felt lonely without her around, but he hadn’t experienced the same relief at her return like he had Uraraka’s. It wasn’t that he hadn’t cared about her - he had, he did, truly - but he was young and stupid and scared. He just thought things would be the way they were supposed to be, and they hadn’t.
He felt young, stupid, and scared now, but he was eighteen and graduated from school. Granted, that wasn’t really outside of being young, but Hawks had gone pro at this age. If he wanted to stand out like he had been born to do, he needed to do the same within a year. He should’ve been thinking about that - how he could jump from sidekick to pro in a matter of months - but all he could think about was how far away Uraraka lived from him right now.
Their decision to not move in together straight after graduation was a smart one, especially since he wanted to get his mother out of the hospital, but it hurt, just like that first break truly alone had hurt. She was coming over tomorrow to help him unpack and properly move in, but the hour trip here would be excruciating, and that wasn’t including any possible delays. They couldn’t do this daily. He wasn’t even sure about weekly. It made him anxious.
What if that distance tore them apart? What if the time away proved to be stronger than them? What if-?
His phone buzzed on the charger. Pulling himself off his mattress, he walked over to check it and smiled faintly when he saw the text on the screen.
Can’t wait to see you tomorrow! <3 Miss you!
It had only been a few days since they’d last seen each other. He’d stayed at Fuyumi’s while apartment hunting, which hadn’t taken long all things considered. The Todoroki name was enough to grease most wheels without him even trying. Uraraka had come over and he had gone to her parents’ place. Besides a few things that he’d had in his dorm at Height’s Alliance and some items that he’d left at his father’s house, there really wasn’t much to move, which was why he’d done it on his own. Midoriya and Iida would definitely have something to say when they found out, but it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Or, well, that wasn’t right. He was supposed to have learned that lesson back in his first year, but old habits died hard.
Hopefully there aren’t any delays on the train, he texted back.
Such a romantic response. =P
But yeah there better not be any villain attacks or I will launch them into space myself.
Todoroki fought the urge to chuckle to himself and pulled his phone off the charger so he could lay down on his mattress. Very attractive
Super, I know
Definitely a turn on
We’ve discussed this Shouto. Both of us are really bad at sexting.
Sighing, Todoroki dropped his head back on his pillow. She wasn’t wrong. They had tried it a few time with very poor results. She struggled to even type some of the words out as if she was afraid of him laughing at her or someone popping out of the woodwork to see what she’d texted. She knew he wouldn’t show any of the guys, but that didn’t make her any less embarrassed, especially since they hadn’t actually gone all the way. And he was either awkward about it or far too blunt.
She really didn’t know how to handle the latter when he was in a mood like that.
You should’ve dated someone more eloquent. Like Bakugou.
Bahahahaha no way!
He’s probably so vanilla in bed. Recites poetry in your ear. Likes to cuddle and be the little spoon.
Shouto! Stop it! I don’t even want to think about that omg
I could recite poetry to you.
Oh really? You know poetry?
Yeah Fuyumi used to read her homework out loud to me. She loves poetry. According to her, girls are really into guys that show soft sides.
Meaning she had a crush on a guy in her class.
Probably. I tried not to think about it, so I listened to her read poetry instead.
I’m sorry but if you read poetry to me I’d probably laugh
There wasn’t a "probably" about it. He knew for a fact that she would laugh if he read poetry to her, and it wouldn’t bother him a bit. It would be outrageous. Poetry was definitely not his thing. He was almost tempted to do it tomorrow just to hear her sputter into laughter.
Taking a deep breath, Todoroki stared up at his ceiling fan. He’d missed this. He missed her. She was so easy to talk to that he was able to forget they were only texting. She knew he wasn’t a fan of phone calls, so she almost always stuck to texts unless it was something important. He didn’t have to worry about filling in the gaps of silence or any awkward pauses when he had nothing to say. One conversation could last an entire day via texts or they could have multiple ones throughout the day. Plus, he could respond in gifs, which she very much enjoyed.
But it wasn’t the same as her being here, and he knew that too. They could text all night, but he would still wish she was here with him in person.
I miss you.
I miss you too.
I hate that you’re going to live so far away.
I know.
But this will be a good thing, right? For our careers? For our lives?
Yes, I think so. I hope so. We won’t let distance get in between us. We’re stronger than that.
Todoroki nodded even though she couldn’t see him. Of course.
Aw look at you being needy. Remember when everyone said I was gonna be too clingy for you?
Yes, he did. He hadn’t understood it. Uraraka was physical with everyone, even him, but she had always known when to give him space too. If he was too chilly or too heated, she kept her distance. She let Midoriya, Iida, or Kaminari butt heads with him, but she waited until just the right moment to slip through a crack in his wall. Even then, she usually waited for him to come to her, which he did time and time again. He couldn’t help himself. Her too clingy? More like him.
Bullshit
Damn straight
Shit, he loved this girl, and they would get through this together, but damn if it didn’t hurt when she wasn’t with him.