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The Drift is nothing short of terrifying, even if it’s gorgeous and amazing at the same time. All your secrets laid bare before another person, and seeing everything they are, too- it’s like space, Hermann thinks. Big and vast and beautiful but also scary.
Hermann isn’t a secretive person on purpose, but out of necessity. He finds it much easier to keep things- especially his strange interests -a secret, rather than possibly suffer from humiliation.
It’s a week after Pitfall’s success that Newt knocks at Hermann’s door. He’s shuffling awkwardly in place, carrying a plastic bag full of god knows what, and he has an expression on his face Hermann is all too familiar with, one that says he doesn’t know if he should run away or plow forward with whatever stupid plan he has now.
“Okay, uh, hi,” is how he greets Hermann, and it’s so painfully Newt that Hermann rolls his eyes a bit. “So, see, I- okay, can I come in first? You’re blocking the door- ah, whatever.” He walks into the room, forcing his way in while also visibly trying to be gentle (not an easy task for him, Hermann has realized). He shuts the door and fiddles with the handles of the plastic shopping bag. “Okay. So. I, uh. We both sure did see a lot of stuff in the Drift, huh.”
Hermann feels a slight blush rise to his cheeks and he nods. “Ah- yes. We certainly did.”
Newt nods and rifles through the bag in his hands. “Well, I saw- stuff- and it, um, made me...realize things? Emotional stuff?” He’s staring resolutely into the bag as he searches for something, pointedly not making eye contact while his face turns a deep red (which must match Hermann’s cheeks). “I got you some- some things, ‘cause I already knew I like you a lot but I didn’t, um, I didn’t know how to define any of that until last week, and I finally know what kind of relationship I would wanna have with you- but only if you’re cool with that! Obviously!”
Hermann is speechless, which is not something that happens to him very often. He lets Newt continue rambling for lack of anything to say.
“I got you some things,” Newt repeats, and he’s apparently finally found what he’s looking for, and he pulls a small object out of the bag. “I don’t know- I dunno, you might not like it, I’m not totally sure? You might like it but not be down with me being involved, or you might not like either, that could happen, but anyway-” He manages to stop talking, and he wordlessly shoves the object into Hermann’s hands.
It’s a blue pacifier. Hermann immediately tenses, panicking that this is Newt mocking him like he’s been afraid of for years, but he gathers the courage to look Newt in the eyes- and he sees nothing but love. Fear too, perhaps, but overwhelmingly, he looks absolutely lovestruck. He is earnest and scared and adoring, and it just makes Hermann want to hold him tight and never let go.
“Newton...”
“Can I do this for you?” Newt asks, uncharacteristically quiet. “Be- be whatever you need- or, um, want me to be. I am totally willing to do this for you, man, if you’ll have me.”
Hermann nods slowly, then steps forward so he can pull Newt into an awkward hug. He’s not very good at it, he doesn’t have a lot of practice with hugs, but he can feel Newt grin against his shoulder and he tightens his grip around Hermann’s middle.