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They’d been sharing a bottle of pink wine in the afternoon of the warmest day of Year 59, under a tree in a field about an hour’s walk away from the Starblaster. The two suns of this planet warm the air up to this perfect feeling, and Barry is leaning against the oak tree behind her as she looks up at Lup, who is trying to climb this big tree.
She’s pretty drunk, so it’s not the most successful thing Barry has seen, and the elf had also refused to use magic, citing the thrill of tree-climbing with no helping hands, that she and Taako would do it like this when they were young, try to beat each other to the top of a tree. Barry’s eyes slide down the muscles in her biceps and core as she hoists herself to a higher branch, and pours herself more wine to try to quench the thirst she has suddenly.
They are not new to each other, but their connection is still so refreshing, and there is always more to discover.
Finally planting her boots on a branch higher up, she cheers, and Barry claps politely for her, always cheering her on. What else would she do? She’s in love.
Suddenly, Barry gets an idea, and leans forward atop their red picnic blanket to rummage in her backpack, looking for something. “Don’t get down yet,” she warns, as she finds a small plastic bag, which holds her camera.
“Wasn’t planning on it. Gonna take a pic of me, Bar?” she asks warmly. She has sit down now, her long legs dangling from the higher branch, her skirt hanging down to her calves, and some brightly-colored sneakers, and she crosses them, winking at Barry.
Clearing her throat, Barry unzips the plastic bag, and turns on her camera. “Yeah. That okay?”
“Sure thing, babe,” she replies, and does a little pose, smiling and holding her hands up in peace signs. Barry snaps the picture, smiles, and nods at Lup.
When Lup finally gets down, it’s because she wants more wine, and Barry pours her a plastic cup of it. She sits down impossibly near Barry, their legs brushing and nearly crossing, and she’s warm to the touch, her rich brown skin exuding heat in the best way. She puts on her big floppy sun hat to guard her face from the sun, and sips the cup Barry poured for her, looking up at the sky. “It’s so beautiful,” she sighs, her other coming over to wrap in Barry’s. Their fingers interlock and Barry can’t get over that, how perfect it feels to hold her hand. “Don’t you wish you could stay here forever?”
Yes, Barry thinks, I really do. I would marry you here. I would spend the rest of my life with you here. Anywhere, really.
“It is beautiful,” she agrees, and finds her eyes are lingering on Lup instead of the weather.
After a little while, Lup’s heavy gaze turns to her, and they’re looking at each other, smiling dumbly. Barry’s limbs feel loose and warm and Lup’s smile, her perfect, goofy smile - Barry could talk for hours about how much she loves Lup’s little front tooth gap - is making her feel giddy, and with little to no warning, Lup is leaning forward and her head is dipping to just a couple inches away to Barry’s own face, their lips so close it makes Barry feel crazy, and then they’re kissing, and it’s sweet and warm and messy and everything Barry has ever wanted.
With her other hand, Barry puts down her glass of wine, pulling away to situate everything, but before she can get a handle on making sure nothing spills over, Lup is pouncing on her, kissing her gently but quickly, in a manner that is so Lup. She can feel Lup’s smile against her lips, can feel her hands start to wrap around Barry’s neck, can feel her tongue on her own, deepening their kiss. Lup is so genuine and excited in all things, so passionate and fiery even like this.
Their relationship is not exactly new. They have been together since the day of their performance at the Legato Conservatory, had ran out of the Conservatory to laugh and kiss and spend the night together. That was more than ten years ago, but still, every time Barry looks at her, she feels helplessly in love, endlessly lucky that she gets to be with her. She pulls away from the kiss to bring her hand up to Lup’s cheek and brush her soft skin with her thumb. Lup looks wild like this, leaning over her, her hands greedy and eyes half-lidded with tipsiness. Her lips are red, and her face is flushed, and Barry tucks a strand of her brilliant blue hair behind her ear. Lup is new all the time, exciting and beautiful and unrestrained.
Leaning forward, Lup pecks her on the mouth again, and sits back on her heels, draining her cup of wine. Barry laughs at her, finishing her own cup, and then they lay back on the picnic blanket, the grass of the field tickling her legs. Lup intertwines their hands again as they lay in the sunshine of midday.
Is this the time to say it? she wonders. She had never meant to keep a secret from Lup. There were no secrets in their relationship, as if Barry would ever want to hide anything from her, but this had creeped up on her, invading her mind slowly, her gender identity. There was no reason to keep it from Lup, but, well -- there was something holding her back, something deep inside of her that told her she was faking it, she wasn’t really trans. And of course, Lup had known she was trans from a young age, had help with Taako to transition physically using transmutation magic, and she was the real deal. Barry found it embarrassing to think that she could come out to Lup as maybe also being a woman, because she just didn’t feel legitimate enough.
But she’s Lup, her mind always tells her, when she gets like this. Lup understands you. Lup accepts you. What is the worst that could happen?
On her shoulder, she feels Lup’s warm hand, her familiar palm against her body. She hears Lup say, “hey, relax,” and realizes that her shoulders are tense, scrunched up against her neck, and tries to relax her muscles. Oops.
“Is there something wrong?” she hears softly, Lup’s voice familiar and sweet. Wrenching herself out of her thoughts, Barry looks over at the woman lying next to her. Lup’s eyes are worried and genuine. Barry curses herself for making Lup worried.
“Nothing wrong, no,” Barry assures her, and then pauses. “But I wanted to talk to you about something. Nothing bad.”
Lup smiles at her, because she always does, and looks at her expectantly. “Yeah?”
“I… I think I may be a woman, Lup,” she says softly, not looking at her lover in the eyes. “I’ve thought about it for a long time. I needed to tell you because I love you.”
She can’t look at Lup. Her face is burning and heart thrumming in her chest with nerves. What will Lup say?
But she feels Lup’s warm hands again, this time her fingers softly touch Barry’s face, turning her head to look at Lup. She’s wearing this big smile, her eyes watery, and her touch is so gentle that Barry feels like a piece of fine china. “Thank you so much for telling me,” she says, her voice almost a whisper, and it sends tingles all throughout Barry’s body. “That’s okay, that’s great. I love you so much.”
Barry’s chest burns, tears coming to her eyes, fat and hot. “I- uh, I love you too, Lup. You… You can still call me Barry, for now,” she says clumsily, her mouth in a jumble from nervousness and alcohol.
She smiles at Barry, nodding her head, and Barry feels like she can finally relax. Closing the gap between them, Lup leans forward and kisses her, soft and tender and gentle, their lips brushing and tongues intertwining slowly, and Barry feels Loved with a capital L.
Their hands stay locked together, even as they lay in that field until sunset, and walk home to the Starblaster in the night.