Work Text:
Dum Dum can smell it.
(When Dum Dum announces that he can smell it, just about everybody rolls their eyes, since it’s obvious to everybody from the way that Bucky’s carrying Steve’s bag and how Steve’s wearing his army surplus jacket over a wrinkled button-down shirt that is obviously not in his usual punkish wardrobe as they walk over to Bucky’s room.)
"Bucky boy got laid," Dum Dum says, smug. "How’re we gonna celebrate it?"
"We could bake him another cake," Jim suggests, referring to, of course, the cake that the other pledges baked for Bucky when he came out during rush.
"How about we leave him alone?" Gabe says, French textbook open in front of him, since he’s the only one who seems to remember that finals start in two weeks.
Falsworth sighs. “You know, I still have no bloody idea who this Rogers fellow is.”
"Shut it, everyone," Dum Dum demands and the room goes silent. "I got it."
"By all means, do enlighten us." Falsworth rolls his eyes, irritated at having been interrupted.
Dum Dum ignores the sarcasm and continues, “They’re probably using sweet Bucky’s room as a bridal suite—”
“Oh good lord," Gabe mutters.
"—So we should give them a real wedding party!"
"And how do you suggest we go about doing that?" Jim asks. Falsworth and Gabe nod in agreement. Dernier continues doing… Whatever it is that Dernier is ever doing. Dum Dum’s not real sure. (Dernier is definitely his favorite, though.)
Dum Dum smirks. “We got all that rice in the kitchen. Let’s wrench open the door and toss it on them, like—”
"Timothy Dugan, if you so much as step foot in my room when you think I’m havin’ sex and I’m gonna pummel you ‘til your pa can’t even recognize your red face."
Bucky’s in the doorway, tiny Steve looking mortified behind him in Bucky’s shirt and it’s all too damn much for Dum Dum to handle.
"I’d like to see you try!"
And that’s how Steve spends their first official date icing Dum Dum Dugan’s black eye while eating popcorn with the other members of Sigma Pi.
(All things considered, it’s not a bad first date.)