Archive of Our Own

Emma gazed at the crowd filling the room and barely refrained from fistpumping.

People were here .

The walls of the large room were sparsely decorated, just a couple stick-on rainbows and a large canvas banner Ruby and Emma had painted themselves. It said Storybrooke University Pride in bold, colorful print with You’re Welcome Here! in smaller letters below (albeit, letters that sloped a little downward if you looked closely enough, but Emma didn’t let herself get bothered by it).

But their first ever Welcome Party was a success.

Emma shuffled over to Mulan at the next table and plopped down into a chair.

“We did it!” she grinned, gesturing at the group. Some of the students were hugging the walls or nervously chewing on the cheap Little Caesars pizza they had provided to draw people in - most likely the freshmen. But a lot of them were talking.

Most importantly, the party had only been going for twenty minutes, and they already had over thirty names on the sign-in clipboard Emma clutched in her hand.

Mulan smiled back, holding up her Diet Coke in a toast. “We did.”

Emma had fought Administration tooth and nail last year to get this club founded. Mulan and Ruby, her soccer teammates and officially SU Pride’s Vice President and Treasurer, respectively, had been with her every step of the way. Between orientation and the club fair during the first week of classes, they’d probably handed out three hundred fliers - and that was in addition to the ones they plastered to every corkboard and bathroom stall they could find on campus.

And it was worth it.

This was Emma’s senior year, and she wanted to leave a good legacy. She wanted every queer student who attended SU to know that they had at least one place where they knew they belonged.

Plus, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t looking forward to having a good time her senior year. And everyone knew that queer folks are just more fun. It’s a fact.

She caught sight of a couple walking through the door. “Duty calls,” she said, sidling back over to the check-in table.

A brunette with a pixie cut she vaguely recognized stood before her, a friendly smile on her face. 

“Hi. I’m Mary Margaret Blanchard.” The name jogged Emma’s memory. It was her RA. She hadn’t seen her since the first night back, when Mary Margaret had gone around all the dorm rooms on her floor, introducing herself.

“This is David Nolan,” the girl continued, gesturing to the boy at her side.

“Welcome,” Emma said with a grin, jotting down their information. “There’s pizza and soda over there. We’re not super formal tonight. Just food and conversation. Later, I’ll talk a little bit about what the club is about, and then we’ll have some dancing for those who want to stay.”

While she was giving the spiel, Emma’s gaze fell to the pin on the girl’s lapel, which matched the one the guy was wearing pinned to his t-shirt. Ally .

Emma almost rolled her eyes. Because heaven forbid anyone might mistake them for gay.

That was probably an unfair thought. They both seemed genuinely friendly and enthusiastic as they thanked her and continued on into the room.

Honestly, there had been a small part of her that had been worried about hazing or protests or the other things that one worries about when being out in a small town in Midwestern USA. Storybrooke, Iowa wasn’t exactly on the list of Top Hundred Enlightened Towns.

If the worst thing that happened tonight was that some nice cishet people ate some pizza and mingled with their fellow queer students, it wasn’t going to bother her. They were probably just here for the free food, which she certainly wasn’t judging.

The thought of pizza made her stomach growl, and Emma cast a longing glance at the dwindling food supply on the other side of the room.

She had been so busy setting up that she hadn’t had a chance to grab a slice before the party had started, and now she was regretting it.

Maybe if she just popped over there really quickly-

Just as she was about to abandon ship, the door opened, and Emma was ready to glare at the latecomer who dared to stand between her and a slice of pepperoni...until she looked up and saw Cafeteria Crush.

This was not, of course, the girl’s actual name.

Emma had no idea what her actual name was.

But she knew that when she had gone to the cafeteria every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 7:30 for breakfast before her 8 AM class last semester, the girl had been there, glasses on her nose, a coffee at her side, and always, always deep in a textbook. Sometimes two.

Emma had contemplated coming up with a reason to introduce herself, but she wasn’t exactly at the top of her game before 8 AM, and she’d also been a little intimidated. The brunette had barely looked away from her textbooks to take sips of her coffee. Emma had doubted she would have taken kindly to being interrupted only to be hit on by a blonde in sweat pants.

Of course, that hadn’t stopped Emma from hoping that she’d be there every day. And she had been.

But Emma hadn’t seen her since. Until tonight.

She looked just as intense as Emma remembered, though the glasses and textbooks were nowhere in sight. Her skin was a light golden brown, her hair dark and cut into a sharp bob that just brushed her chin. She was standing beside another girl with long, curly hair and a complexion several shades warmer, whom Emma vaguely recognized in that way you recognize a person you probably took a class with at some point. 

Cafeteria Crush looked around the room, and her mouth pulled down in a slight frown before she suddenly met Emma’s gaze head on.

It was a good thing Emma had never hit on her, because she wasn’t sure she would have survived making eye contact with this girl so early in the morning. She could barely stand it now, the intensity. She couldn’t remember how to breathe right.

Not to mention talk.

Right.

She was supposed to be saying something.

She cleared her throat and smiled, hopefully convincingly.

The girl on the right grinned back at her, but Cafeteria Crush didn’t.

“Hi, welcome! What are your names?”

“Marian Rosales.” 

Emma was almost grateful for the chance to look down and get her equilibrium back as she jotted Marian Rosales onto the next blank on the sheet of paper. Her pen hovered over the line below as she squared herself and looked into dark brown eyes again.

“And you?” Emma was proud that her voice sounded perfectly normal.

“Regina Mills.”

Of course her voice would be all dark and smooth like that.

Emma was just a weak, weak lesbian. Life wasn’t fair.

She wrote the name down and started giving them the standard speech she had given everyone else, though she definitely stumbled more than she had the rest of the night.

Finally, Marian thanked her and started to move away, though Regina stayed where she was. For the briefest of seconds, Emma entertained the thought that maybe Regina was staying behind to talk to her.

But no. Regina was just surveying the crowd again, her frown pulling even lower.

“Come on,” Marian said, and Regina sighed. 

“Fine,” she said, and followed after.

Well. Not the world’s best meet cute, but Regina was here, which meant there was a higher-than-average possibility that she was queer.

Emma mentally crossed her fingers as she finally ran to find some pizza.

##

Half an hour later, Emma had finally eaten two slices of pizza, and she’d given a fairly decent speech on SU Pride and how excited she was to be president the first year.

Now, it was time for dancing.

A few people cleared out at that announcement, but most stayed, clearly enthused at the idea.

The first two on the floor - or the middle of the room, rather - were Jacinda and Sabine, a cute lesbian couple, sophomores Emma had met earlier that night. She already had a good feeling about them.

They were followed by several other couples including Mary Margaret and David, who had, surprisingly, stayed for more than just the food.

When it was clear that people were actually going to dance of their own accord and not need any awkward games to break the ice first, Emma relaxed and scanned the room. She’d planned to dance with Ruby or Mulan, but they were already dancing with each other.

Then she saw Regina, standing stiff as a poker at the far corner of the room, still frowning. Did the girl ever smile?

Emma bit her lip and took a swig of her Coke, hoping that the hit of caffeine would give her courage.

She marched over and smiled. “Hello again! I’m Emma, from the table?”

Finally, the world’s smallest, most polite smile. “Hi.”

Emma felt her insides wither a little, but she plunged forward anyway. “Do you dance?”

Those dark eyes traveled all the way down to Emma’s feet and back up again. “Not if I can help it.”

“Oh, okay. No worries.” Emma flashed something she hoped resembled a grin and somehow managed to walk away through the mountain of rubble that was her self-esteem.

What a bitch.

Emma didn’t normally go for that word, preferring not to tear down other women. But while she didn’t mind being turned down, was it too much to ask for some manners? Who was this Regina chick to examine Emma’s jeans and Converse that hadn’t felt so ratty when she’d put them on and just...dismiss her, like she’d offered her a dead rodent rather than just a polite invitation to dance.

“Hey! Emma!” Emma felt hands pulling at hers, and she let herself be tugged onto the dance floor by Ruby. 

“Were you just hitting on Regina Mills ?” she asked over the music, twisting her hips and moving Emma’s hands in ridiculous directions.

Emma frowned. “Yeah. I mean, no. Not really. Just asking her to dance. Why? Who is she?”

Ruby raised her eyebrows and spun Emma out. “You know Cora Mills?”

Ruby gave a tug, and Emma followed and spun back in, a sinking feeling invading her stomach that had nothing to do with motion sickness.

“As in, the rich white lady who gives the world’s most boring speech every year, President of the University, Cora Mills?”

Ruby nodded. “Yeah. Regina’s her daughter.”

Oh. Shit .

It all made so much sense. Of course she would be the President’s daughter. Of course she would be. Emma’s life would never be so kind as to deliver her a cute girl who was queer, available, and not a giant snob.

Whatever.

If Regina was going to be a grumpy, rude snob, Emma was just going to go ahead and have a grand time without her.

She let herself get lost in the music and her goofy dance with Ruby, and she basked in the success of the night. This was really happening. They’d started SU Pride, and it was going to last.

##

The next week, Emma sat on a chair in the very same room, foot tapping anxiously on the floor as she hit the button on her phone to check the time for the third time that minute. Stupid time. She wasn’t sure if she wanted it to speed up or slow down.

“You’re such a cliché.”

“What?” Emma frowned, looking up from her phone just as the minute finally changed.

“Megan Rapinoe as your lockscreen?” Mulan asked with a smirk.

“She’s a soccer player. I play soccer.”

“Of course. Nothing gay about it.”

“Everything I do is gay.”

Mulan chuckled. “Valid. Hey,” Emma looked up and met her gaze. “It doesn’t even start for fifteen minutes. They’ll be here.”

“I just-this is the first meeting. What if people were up for a party but don’t really want to do the whole club thing? I mean, discussing books and movies, big deal, anyone can do that.”

“And current events and challenges facing our community, not to mention celebrating the hell out of. Don’t discount this.”

“I know! And I’m excited about it! I just hope-”

She was interrupted mid-sentence by the door opening. Ruby walked through, followed by Sabine and Jacinda. All the worry that had been weighing on her shoulders was pushed down a slide of relief at the sight. 

“Hey, guys!” Emma shoved nametags at them that included spaces for both names and pronouns, and they chatted until the next people walked in.

After that, it was a slow trickle.

By the time it was time for the meeting to start, only two of the twenty-five chairs Emma had set up were left empty.

Most surprising was that Regina had come back.

Emma hadn’t expected that and was, quite honestly, a little annoyed at the small shadow that brought in on her otherwise cloudless sky of a mood. There was nothing worse than when a pretty face covered up a lousy personality, especially when she had wasted a semester mooning over said face. And she didn’t particularly care to be reminded of that.

But all she had to to was look around the circle to feel a real, legitimate smile grow on her face.

Emma started the meeting by talking for a couple minutes, giving a brief rundown for anyone who hadn’t come to the kickoff party. “Basically, it boils down to this. We meet on Tuesdays. First week of the month is book club, second week is movie night, and all others are discussion nights, when we’ll talk about current events and LGBTQ specific issues. Next week we’ll be talking about bi erasure. We have a few other topics in mind, but feel free to let me know if you have one you’d like us to add!”

Emma cleared her throat, happy to note that she saw a few nods of approval throughout the crowd.

“Anyway. As cliched as it is, I thought we could start by going around the circle and sharing a bit about ourselves. I promise I’ll only do this once. Feel free to share as much or as little as you want. I’m Emma, pronouns she/her, and I’m gay. I’m majoring in nonprofit management, and I’m a senior. I’m also a forward on the soccer team. Go, Knights!”

Several enthusiastic shouts came from the crowd - probably just the athletes, as half the non-athlete students could probably barely even name what their mascot was.

Emma gestured to her left to Mulan, and the introduction chain started. After her was Archie, a pale boy with red hair who blushed when it was his turn.

He cleared his throat. “I’m Archie, and I’m a freshman. A graphic design major. I’m...I’m gay,” he said, the last word almost inaudable. Then he took a deep breath and looked up. “I’m gay,” he said again, this time stronger, the words accompanied by a victorious smile. “Sorry, not used to saying that yet. I’ve known for a while, but I’m not out to my family yet and...y’know. Anyway. Before you ask him to go,” he said, gesturing to the boy at his side with dark umber skin and an easy smile. “Lance is straight, but he’s my roommate, and we got to be really good friends this summer, and I asked him to come with me. Also I ramble sometimes when I’m nervous. Oh! And my pronouns are he/him. You go, Lance.”

“I’m Lance, like he said. Also a freshman. Straight, but I’m an expert at moral support as well as sacking quarterbacks.” 

“Sounds pretty gay to me,” Ruby quipped, and several people guffawed, including Lance himself.

“Fair point.” 

They continued around the circle. Some people shared sexualities and others didn’t. Mostly, Emma tried to pay attention so she would remember faces and pronouns.

(Regina the Snob was a senior, double majoring in Equestrian Science and Biology. Of course she was a horse girl. Her family probably had a fleet of them.)

The rest of the two hours flew by, so much so that Emma was surprised when Mulan gestured to the clock. 

Emma had a good feeling about this group. It was going to be an awesome year.

##

The meeting on bi erasure went well, but things hit a snag when Emma realized that it was six days until their first book discussion meeting, and she hadn’t actually read the book yet.

Technically, Mulan was the one heading up the book meetings, just like Ruby was in charge of movie nights, while Emma was in charge of all the discussions. But just because she wasn’t running it didn’t mean she wanted to be unprepared.

Emma had thought she would have time to swing by the library before practice, but she was going to be cutting it close. And Coach hated when they were late. Emma was temporarily in her good graces after shooting the winning penalty kick against the Pirates last week, and this was not the way to keep that going.

“Shit,” she muttered, bounding down the stairs and rushing through the empty, creepy steps of the basement floor of the library. She hated it down here and was glad that her hurry gave her steps a reason for their speed.

Seriously, this place had to be haunted or some shit.

It was so quiet, she could practically hear the ghosts-

“Ah!” Emma exclaimed, as she turned a corner and nearly plowed headfirst into another human. “I’m sor- Oh. Hi.”

Regina cleared her throat. “Hello, Emma.”

Emma shifted her weight from one foot to another. “I was just about to grab a book.”

“Me, too.”

Simultaneously, they turned and walked down the tall, cramped aisle together. Emma had a sinking suspicion that Regina was here for the same thing she was.

Indeed, Regina spotted it first, and she pulled the last copy of The Color Purple off the shelf while Emma was left staring at the blank space. Why was Regina even using the library? Couldn’t she just buy it? 

Emma certainly couldn’t. At least, she couldn’t justify buying the new price, and she didn’t have time to wait for a used copy to ship. There might be a copy at the used book shop downtown. She could call them to check and then swing by after practice. Were they open that late?

“Were you here for this?” Emma was jerked out of her panic by Regina holding out the slightly tattered copy toward her.

“Oh. Yes.”

“Haven’t you read it yet?”

“No. It’s Mulan’s discussion. Besides, there’s still almost a week, and I read fast.”

“I’m sure you do.”

Emma frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You just...you do everything quickly. Talking, walking. It would follow that you’d read quickly.”

“Oh.”

“Here. You take it,” Regina said, extending the book once again.

“No, it’s fine, you take it.”

“I insist.”

“Flip you for it?” 

Regina’s mouth quirked into this strange, amused little smile, like she couldn’t quite believe Emma had just suggested that. “I don’t have a coin.”

Oh. Right.

“Neither do I.” Emma paused for an awkward moment, then grabbed for her phone. “I bet there’s a website for it, though.” She tapped in a quick Google search. “Aha! I was right. Heads or tails?”

“I guess heads.”

Emma pressed the coin on the screen. It rotated a few times and landed on tails.

“Ha!” she exclaimed victoriously, shoving the screen out so Regina could see.

“Well, you won, fair and square,” Regina said, holding the book toward her again. This time, Emma shoved her phone in her pocket and then took it with a grin.

“Well, uh. Nice to see you. I’m off to practice. See you around, Regina.”

She felt bad about leaving Regina alone in the creepy basement and momentarily slowed her gait to see if Regina would catch up with her, but when she cast a glance backwards, the brunette was bent down, examining a different book in the stacks.

Well.

If there were any ghosts down here, Regina would probably just frighten them off with that glower of hers.

Emma laughed to herself, checked the book out, and headed to practice.

##

The semester continued on in a haze of the familiar and the new and exciting. Familiar was Emma doing homework with ice seran-wrapped to her knees after a particularly brutal practice.

New and exciting was have an impromptu late-night ice cream outing with Mulan, Jacinda, Sabine, Archie, Lance, and Marian after they all sat and talked for a solid hour after the first Pride Club of October had officially ended.

It was the first time Regina had been absent, but Emma couldn’t bring herself to ask Marian where she was.

Probably busy with homework. All the equestrian majors Emma knew spent a shit ton of time in the barns. She couldn’t imagine loading a science major on top of that.

Without her distracting presence, though, it was easier to just fall into a friendly rhythm. It was fun. Usually she mostly just hung out with her teammates - Mulan and Ruby especially. She’d had Lily, of course, but Lily had been a senior when she was a sophomore, and when she’d left, Emma hadn’t really wanted to do serious again for a while. She’d dated a bit last year, but options around here were limited.

Marian was cute enough, but Emma was pretty sure her interest was entirely elsewhere.

In fact, the two of them were getting cozy now, having a side conversation with low voices and small smiles while Sabine loudly told a story about the time she put cayenne pepper in the beignets in her dad’s restaurant.

Emma had never seen Mulan look so smitten before. As far as she knew, Mulan had only ever been with her high school girlfriend, Aurora. They’d broken up right at the end of the summer, and Mulan been hung up on her all freshman year. She hadn’t mentioned a girl to Emma since.

While there was a tiny envious ping in the bottom of her stomach, she was happy for them.

Not that they were officially a “them” yet, but they would be soon enough.

##

Surprisingly, Emma was wrong.

By the time the Halloween Party rolled around, Mulan and Marian still weren’t together.

She caught Mulan smiling down at her phone at least once every time she and Emma hung out, and the two of them gravitated together immediately at every single hang-out session and meeting.

(Including the one where they rearranged seating at the last minute to sit together, with the end result being that Emma had to endure Imagine Me & You while sitting next to Regina. Who was, she was beginning to think, actually, possibly, maybe a decent person. She couldn’t make her out at all. She didn’t talk much at all during any of the meetings, and she always left almost immediately after they were over. But she was always polite, and when she did join in the discussions, her opinions were always well thought out and well delivered, . She was an enigma. Emma hated enigmas.)

Maybe Marian wasn’t sure. Mulan didn’t wear her heart on her sleeve; maybe it was only obvious to Emma because they spent so much time together.

But still . Mulan had to see that Marian was crazy about her, too.

Still, Emma bit her tongue.

She wouldn’t get involved.

Yet.

But Halloween was always a magical night. Maybe tonight would be the night. She was rooting for them.

Emma tugged on her hat and surveyed the room, happy at the turnout, more people filling the room than they’d had since the welcome party. A few people weren’t in costumes, but most were decked out in a wide array of getups.

Being short on cash, Emma had asked Jessie - a teammate who happened to also be an equestrian major with a Western focus - to borrow chaps and an old hat. A trip to the dollar store to get a cheap plastic badge, a flannel shirt from her drawer, and she was officially a sheriff. Not exactly the world’s most original costume, but hey, it worked, and she was only allowed so many hours at her barista work study position.

The Halloween party brought everybody out. Emma recognized Ali, Robyn, Alice and several others she hadn’t seen in a few weeks, as well as some faces she didn’t recognize.

“Emma!” Emma turned to find a werewolf-costumed Ruby navigating the crowd toward her, dragging along a pale girl with auburn hair who was dressed as a nun.

Emma grabbed a cup of punch and moved forward to meet them halfway.

“Do you know where we put the wax lips?” Ruby asked as soon as she was in earshot.

“I think they’re gone. If we have any left, they’re over in the corner by the cake table.”

“Excellent! Thank you!” She turned back and motioned for the nun to stay. “I’ll be right back.”

Ruby disappeared through the crowd, and Emma turned back to the abandoned girl. “I’m Emma, by the way.”

“I’m Blue,” she returned with a wide grin. “Nice to meet you.”

“You, too. You been to Pride before?” 

“No. I have a night class on Tuesdays, sadly.”

“Oh, bummer. We’d love to have you.”

“I’ll definitely check it out next semester. Doubt I’ll have a night class again. I don’t usually, but doing this one means I get a three day weekend every week, so.” She shrugged, like what can you do?

“Can’t argue with that,” Emma said, taking a swig of her punch. 

“You a regular?”

“I’m the president, so yeah, they usually like me around.”

“Can’t say that about all of them, but I believe it with you.” The girl winked, and Emma had the sudden realization that she was being flirted with.

Huh.

“I like I believe I have a few redeeming qualities.”

“More than a few, I’d say,” Blue said, looking her up and down and grinning again.

Emma laughed. “You just don’t know me well enough yet.”

“Care to dance? You can tell a lot about a person from the way they dance.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be waiting for Ruby?” Emma asked.

“I think she got distracted,” Blue said, nodding toward the dancing crowd. And indeed, there was Ruby, dancing with a brunette Emma recognized from a couple of the meetings - Dorothy, maybe? - dressed as Little Red Riding Hood.

That opportunity must have just been too good for her to pass up.

“Shall we?”

Blue held out her hand, and Emma took it, just as the music switched to a Black Eyed Peas song.

It had been too long since she’d danced, and this was fun . 

They danced several songs, each more energetic than the last. Emma was suddenly glad for all the practices that kept her in shape, because she was definitely panting. If they were in offseason, she’d probably be on the floor by now.

It didn’t help that she was pretty sure someone had spiked the punch, too.

“Wanna get a drink?” Blue shouted in her ear.

Emma nodded, and she navigated back toward the punch table. It took longer than she’d expected, because the crowd seemed to have almost doubled since they started dancing.

When had this many people arrived?

Emma took a quick peek to make sure Mulan was still at the welcome table by the doors. (She was, accompanied by - surprise, surprise - Marian.)

Satisfied, she ladled some punch into a cup for Blue, then got one for herself.

Blue motioned her head toward the front doors, and Emma had a sudden vision of a) being outdoors in the chilly air, which sounded like absolute heaven after working up a sweat dancing, and b) kissing this girl. She hadn’t kissed anyone for months, not since this past summer, and Blue was pretty and into her and why not? 

A face flitted briefly, so briefly, in her mind, but she pushed it aside ande nodded, then headed toward the doors, a glance over her shoulder showing Blue trailing behind her.

They stepped into the vestibule, which was immediately better. The air was several degrees cooler, and the door behind them muffled the music.

But just as she went to push open the outside door, it swung open, revealing Regina.

Emma started. “Oh, hey, Regina. Sorry, I always seem to be in your way,” she joked, stepping aside. Regina’s mouth started to curve up in a smile, but then she turned and saw the girl beside Emma, and the expression dropped.

“Oh, uh. Blue, Regina. Regina, Blue.”

If it was at all in the remotest possible realm of human ability to pull an Elsa from Frozen and turn someone to ice on the spot, Regina would have succeeded. Emma logically knew that it had to be the frigid October breeze blowing in behind her, but as the temperature in the room dropped further, it felt like Regina had willed it to happen.

“Hi,” Blue offered hesitantly, but Regina turned back to Emma like she hadn’t even heard the girl.

“Marian wanted me to pick her up at 9, but she isn’t answering her texts. Have you seen her?”

“Uh, yeah. She’s just inside. At the front table with Mulan.”

Without another word, Regina swept around them and disappeared beyond the door into the party.

Emma felt the strangest urge to follow her and ask what the hell had just happened, but she refrained. Instead, she pushed open the door and made her way out into the chilly autumn night.

“Ugh, what was she even doing here?” Blue asked, following behind her. 

“You know Regina?” Emma asked, surprised. Regina hadn’t struck Emma as particularly social. But then again, she was friends with Marian, and Marian was one of the friendliest people Emma had ever met. Emma probably just didn’t know any of Regina’s friends. She was a horse girl, after all, and the closest Emma’d ever gotten to a horse was when she watched Seabiscuit .

“Oh, I know Regina,” the girl said with a bitter tone.

There were some nice, dark corners if you rounded the building and went to the other side, but Emma casually came to a stop against a tree just a few feet away from the front door. 

She wasn’t really in the mood for the kissing thing anymore. She was curious.

“Do tell,” she said, taking a swig of her punch.

“We grew up together.”

Emma nearly choked on her drink.

For some reason, she hadn’t been expecting that. In fact, she had difficulty picturing a young Regina. She seemed like she should have emerged from the womb fully grown, a textbook in one hand and coffee in the other.

“Really?”

Blue nodded. “My dad was her family’s stablemaster. We moved in when I was ten, and Regina and I became best friends almost immediately. We’d ride together most days or read the Saddle Club books. We went through the whole Black Stallion series in a week, and she was so funny, because she would devour these books but then go on these long rants about how the authors didn’t even try to get their horse facts right, just said whatever was best for the story. It never stopped her from reading the next one, though.” Blue’s face was lit by a nearby streetlamp, and Emma could clearly see her expression shifting from a nostalgic smile into a more dark, pensive look. She lapsed into thoughtful silence and took a long gulp of her drink. 

She had been quiet so long that Emma wasn’t sure she was going to continue, but then she did. 

“But then we grew up. We both still loved horses, but when she went to the private high school and I stayed in public, something changed. She grew distant. Then a couple years later, there was this girl my dad hired. Daniella. I knew her from school, and I knew she was gay and she was pretty, and I had this huge crush on her. We kissed a few times, nothing serious. I didn’t really want to try to go on actual dates, because I didn’t know how my dad would react. I was still kind of figuring things out. But then one day, Regina walked in on us kissing in the barn. I didn’t really think anything of it, but in hindsight, I guess she was jealous, though over which one of us, I’ve never known. Either way, when I got home that night, my dad was sitting dead serious at the kitchen table, and he asked flat-out if it was true that I was gay.”

Emma gasped. “She outed you?”

Blue nodded. “Thankfully it just took him some time to adjust, but he was okay with it in the end. But what if I’d been one of those kids whose parents turn them onto the street? She didn’t know! She had no right. Anyway, I know it isn’t fair, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive her.”

“That’s…” Emma’s stomach was a gaping hole of disappointment she couldn’t fully explain, and she was having difficulty forming words. “That’s completely understandable. I wouldn’t either.”

How could she have been so wrong about Regina?

Oh, she thought she was kind of a snob, but she had almost moved past that. Though that maybe she’d just been in a bad mood during the Welcome Party.

But this?

This made Emma feel ill.

“So.” Blue breathed out a sigh. “Now you know my story. What’s yours?”

“Nothing that interesting on my end. Foster kid, bounced around. Wound up in a decent state home where I at least got to go to the same high school all four years. Wound up being a good thing, because they had a killer soccer team, and I was on it. I got good enough to get a scholarship, and now I’m here.”

“What’s your major?”

Their conversation lapsed into the normal chit-chat of college students killing time, almost as though each knew that the other had things on her mind.

Eventually, Emma went back inside to keep an eye on the party, and Blue headed back to her dorm.

“Go. Enjoy the party,” Emma said to Mulan when she came back inside. 

Mulan frowned at her. “I thought-”

“I don’t feel like dancing,” Emma said with a shrug.

Mulan looked down at her phone. “Neither do I.”

“I guess we can man it together, then.”

“Sure.”

So they sat side-by-side and watched as the party continued, until 11 hit, and they had to clear everyone out to close up the building.

All the while, a weight sat in her stomach, as heavy as if she had swallowed a bowling ball.

So much for Halloween magic.

##

The next time Emma saw Regina, it was ridiculously early on Saturday morning, and it was all Easy Mac’s fault.

The grocery store was running a buy-one-get-one-free sale, which meant that Emma was tossing her eighth Easy Mac carton into her basket when Regina rounded the corner. Wearing the glasses Emma hadn’t seen since last semester.

“Hey,” Regina greeted.

“Hey.” Maybe if she acted casual, Regina wouldn’t notice that there was nothing in her cart but Easy Mac and a box of fudge Pop-Tarts.

But no such luck.

“Quite the refined palate you have there,” Regina commented with a smirk.

Emma shrugged, turning back to the shelf and grabbing the last package of Easy Mac before tossing it into her cart. She had no desire to think about how cute Regina looked in those glasses. It may have been a few years since she’d outed Blue, but someone who would do something like that...after some of the foster families she had lived with, Emma was more than aware of how intolerant some families could be, to say the absolute least. Someone who would do that, and out of jealousy , no less...it made Emma want to wipe that smirk off her face by telling her not to come back to Pride.

“Leave some for the rest of us,” Regina said, her voice just on the edge of teasing.

“What, your palate isn’t so refined either?” Emma asked, her tone more biting than playful.

Regina cleared her throat. “It’s a nostalgia thing.”

“Fine. Here.” She leaned down and grabbed one Easy Mac and tossed it into Regina’s basket.

(The state of her cart wasn’t much better than Emma’s - frozen meals and pasta and a single bag of apples. But Emma didn’t feel like commenting on it.)

“Thanks.” Regina paused like she was about to say something else, but then she just nodded and moved along, leaving Emma alone in the pasta aisle with nothing but her thoughts and the vision of Regina in those damned glasses.

Emma shook her head. She gritted her teeth pushed off toward the wine aisle with more force than was strictly necessary. She was mad at herself for even noticing.

Thanks to the sale, she could probably manage a bottle of Arbor Mist and still stay under budget.

##

When Regina came to the next Pride meeting, she wasn’t wearing her glasses, and she rolled her eyes at the film they were going to show and muttered something under her breath that Emma couldn’t quite hear.

Thus cementing her back in the place in Emma’s thoughts where she belonged. Which was nowhere near them.

And all was right in the world.

##

Mid-November blew in with a surprisingly ferocious cold snap, and Emma was forced to break out the gigantic parka she normally didn’t wear until at least Christmas.

The week before Thanksgiving break, Emma was in the dining hall, shoving chicken tenders into her mouth absentmindedly as she flipped through the pages of her Spanish textbook and prayed she wasn’t as behind as she felt. With soccer season at an end, she was finally catching up on some long overdue homework, but she had an exam in three hours, and it felt like she didn’t know the difference between rojo and amarillo , which she’d had memorized since ninth grade.

She was mid-paragraph in the section about tenses when someone dropped into the chair across from her, and when she glanced up, Emma found Blue grinning at her.

“If it isn’t Storybrooke’s resident sheriff,” she said with a flirtatious grin. “Where’ve you been?”

Emma smiled, leaning back and letting her Spanish book flip shut. “Hey, I’ve been here. I figured you must have been sequestered away in a nunnery somewhere.”

“Ha!” Blue threw her head back. “Yeah, not quite. I’ll let you in on a secret.” She leaned across the table toward Emma and lowered her voice to a theatrical whisper. “I’m not actually a nun.”

“No!” Emma threw a hand over her heart dramatically.

“I’m not nearly nice enough,” Blue continued with a wink. She held up a chicken tender in warning. “But don’t go telling people. It’ll ruin my street cred.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

They bantered for a while more, and Emma was half-entertained, half-wishing she could get back to her studying. A break was nice, but it wasn’t going to help her pull up her 72% average.

Across the dining hall, Emma caught a glance of someone she thought was Regina, but when the girl turned around, it wasn’t her at all. Just someone with a similar haircut. 

She still couldn’t believe what Regina had done to Blue. Who would do something like that? Emma was trying to remember the Spanish word for “betrayal” when she was jerked back to reality by Blue’s enthusiastic, “Great! See you tonight at Meryton’s, then? 8 o’clock?”

Emma blinked, then pasted a smile on her face. “I’ll be there.”

“Good. Well, I have to be off to class! See you tonight.”

She stared at Blue’s retreating form in confusion. Had she agreed to a date? Were they just hanging out? 

Shit, she had to start paying more attention when she was talking to people.

At least it was just Meryton’s, though, which was right off campus and within her price range.

Lily had always wanted to go to Pemberley and had been eternally annoyed by Emma’s insistence that her 8 hours a week as a barista in the campus coffee shop didn’t exactly leave her drowning in enough money to hit up fancy-ass restaurants on the regular.

Well, whatever it was, at least Blue was a good time. Emma could use that after the disaster that was likely going to be her Spanish exam.

Sighing, she went to grab some hot chocolate from the machine, then sat back down with her textbook. You could learn a lot in two hours, right?

##

When the exam results were posted online over break, Emma let out a yelp and immediately whipped out her phone and tapped on the soccer gays group chat.

Emma (8:02 AM): guess who got 88% on her spanish exam!!!

Mulan (8:03 AM): CONGRATULATIONS! 🙌

Mulan (8:04 AM): Think you could send some of those vibes my way? I’m drowning over here. Why does every professor think they’re going to be the only one assigning homework over Thanksgiving break?

Emma (8:05 AM): tell me about it

Emma (8:05 AM): we’re supposed to be resting

Emma (8:06 AM): a paper, two case studies, and like 578932 pages of assigned reading is NOT RESTING 

Mulan (8:06 AM): It’s the first day of break, and I think I’m getting stress hives.

Emma (8:07 AM): rip us

Ruby (8:07 AM): i love u both, but if you wake me up before 11 again, i will personally murder you

Emma (8:08 AM): sorry rubes. go back to sleep

Mulan (8:08 AM): Our bad.

The morning passed in a haze of homework, and Emma’s phone didn’t buzz again until after lunch.

Ruby (12:46 PM): congrats, emma!

Mulan (12:48 PM): Sleeping beauty awakens!

Ruby (12:50 PM): listen if i’m asleep, i can’t be stressing about homework

Ruby (12:51 PM): so who’s the REAL intellectual here 🤔

Emma (12:51 PM): touche

Ruby (12:55 PM): ems, i forgot to ask! how was the date with the nun?

Mulan (12:56 PM): ...I’m sorry, what?

Emma (12:59 PM): not a LITERAL nun lol don’t worry mulan

Emma (1:00 PM): it was good! not a soulmate, but fun

Ruby (1:02 PM): so did u……. 

Emma (1:03 PM): nah. no real spark

Ruby (1:03 PM): smh

That pretty much covered it.

The possibly-a-date had been fun, but not much more than that. They didn’t really have much in common, and Blue’s dream was to run off to California as soon as she’d graduated. 

And honestly, while the flirting was fun, the spark just wasn’t really there.

They’d texted a few times since, and Blue always had something funny to say, and Emma was game for remaining friends. But she also definitely wouldn’t be going out with her again.

(If they’d even really been out in the first place. She still wasn’t entirely sure.)

But she had much more important things to worry about, such as the fact that she’d been working on this paper for four hours and had only managed a single page.

She dropped her head onto her desk.

Fuck school, honestly.

##

The rest of Thanksgiving break passed much too quickly. 

Emma finished her homework, treated herself to some Chinese takeout, and watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone alone in the dorm lounge.

And then, almost as soon as she blinked, it was Monday again. Everyone was back, and there were only two more weeks before finals.

Which meant that there were only two more weeks before the Pride holiday party.

She had to get to work.

There were supplies to order, food plans to work out, and a playlist and activities to assemble.

She texted Ruby and Mulan.

They had a party to plan

##

The next two weeks passed ridiculously quickly, and Emma barely had time to breathe other than to take a few moments for existential angst when she realized that after this semester was over, she’d only have one more before she graduated.

And that’s wasn’t any more fun than studying.

What also wasn’t fun was being a barista during finals week, when the entire student population suddenly quadrupled their caffeine intake, in hopes that more studying and less sleep would be the key to keeping their GPAs up.

Emma was absolutely slammed . She wasn’t technically even supposed to work Monday nights, but Lacey had come down with the flu, so Emma was covering.

The line had been nearly to the door when she arrived. Three hours had passed since then, Kathryn had been gone for two and a half of them, and Emma hadn’t peed in about six.

Lacey was going to owe her a really fucking big cookie when she got better.

Finally, there was a lull in customers around eight o’clock. Emma was contemplating ducking into the restroom as quickly as she could, but then the door opened, and Regina Mills entered, wearing a stylish black coat and a fucking beret.

Who wore berets? Honestly.

Regina meandered up to the counter, her attention focused on removing her gloves and placing them carefully them in her purse. When she looked up, she drew back in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

Emma quirked an eyebrow. “I work here.”

“Really?”

“I don’t put on this apron for shits and giggles,” Emma said, gesturing to the terrible red-and-white-striped apron that was - for reasons completely unknown to any of the student workers - required.

“Oh. I always come in on Monday nights. I’ve never seen anyone besides Lacey. This semester, at least.”

Wow, this girl really was fond of her routines. 

“She has the flu.”

“Oh, no. I’ve heard it’s nasty this year. I hope she gets better quickly.” The concern in those dark eyes was genuine, and it messed with Emma’s insides. She had to keep reminding herself that you should judge a person by their actions, not their eyes.

But what about when their actions told conflicting stories?

Emma clenched her teeth. She didn’t have time to think about it right now. She had to pee and then start doing all the pre-closing duties she could before the next wave of students arrived.

“I’ll pass that along. What can I get you?” Her tone sounded cold, even to her own ears, and Regina looked a bit taken aback.

Then her face settled into a mask of polite indifference, and she glanced up at the menu board. “I’ll have a large hot chocolate, please.”

Huh. She’d really pegged Regina as classy and no-frills. Maybe a doppio or a dry cappuccino. 

But Emma definitely would not have guessed she was a hot cocoa drinker. Maybe all that time when she was Cafeteria Crush, she’d been drinking hot chocolate all along, not coffee.

Not that it should matter.

“That’ll be $3.56, please.”

Regina swiped her card and moved to a table to wait.

Emma watched her out of the corner of her eye while she steamed the milk and almost jumped in place when Regina’s phone started ringing loudly enough that Emma could hear it over the machine.

“Hi,” Regina greeted with a smile at whomever was on the other side of the phone. “Facetime? Sure, hold on…I’m at a coffee shop...Yeah, let me find my headphones.”

Emma pumped the syrups into the cup and added the milk, stirring until the drink was complete.

“Regina!” she called, just as Regina pulled some headphones out of her bag.

“Hold on,” she said to the phone person. She set her phone on the table and came to the counter.

“Whipped cream?” Emma asked.

Regina smiled, and it was almost shy. Emma felt a thoroughly unwelcome sensation that was dangerously close to butterflies. “Yes, please.”

Emma obliged, then put the lid on and handed it across to Regina.

As she did so, their fingers brushed slightly, and the almost-butterflies morphed into pterodactyls.

She cleared her throat. “Enjoy your drink.”

“You, too.” Regina said, then flushed delicately. “I mean. Thank you.”

She walked away, and Emma willed her to grab her stuff and head toward the door, but no such luck. She sat down at the table and grabbed her phone again.

Of course she would be staying, even though the coffee shop only consisted of four tiny tables that were basically there for show. No one ever stayed here. They got their coffee, and they went along their way to do their things.

“I’m back,” Regina said as she put her headphones in. 

Emma rinsed out the milk pitcher and started refilling straws and cupholders and absolutely not eavesdropping on Regina’s conversation.

She just...she wanted to get a better picture of who this girl was. Something that made everything click .

She sneaked a peek over at Regina just as the other girl’s face lit up brighter than Emma had ever seen it. She practically went supernova, sitting at a coffee table and staring at the mystery person on the other end of the phone.

“How are you?...I miss you so much!” 

A significant other? Friend? Family member? Her family lived here, obviously, since Cora Mills was the president, so probably not a family member, since she would have seen them more recently.

“I know, I know...We’ll be together soon, I promise. Just one more week until I see the only man I’ve ever loved.”

A boyfriend, then.

Regina guffawed, long and loud, just as Emma’s stomach dropped in a way she absolutely refused to contemplate.

“You know I’d never forget about you.”

And Emma decided that now would be a great time for a restroom break.

Without even glancing at the door to see if anyone was headed her way, Emma ducked into the tiny restroom.

She contemplated thunking her head against the stall door, but then thought the better of it. She really wasn’t sure how clean these stalls were.

So she mentally facepalmed instead.

Horrible people came in all shapes and sizes. Dark eyes and pretty smiles and enthusiastic laughs and love of whipped cream aside, even if she had learned from her past mistakes, she was still snobbish and rude and standoffish. 

Sometimes.

Most of the time.

Ugh.

Ema washed her hands and emerged from the restroom to find a trio of obnoxious frat guys loudly discussing the menu.

She’d never been so glad to see a line.

Regina was still there, but she couldn’t hear her conversation over the noise the dudebros were making.

The next two customers after them ordered eggnog lattes, which Emma gladly made, for once grateful that the process of steaming eggnog made a noise something akin to what Emma imagined a jet engine would sound like.

By the time it was silent again, Regina was gone.

Emma went over to wipe her table, only to find that she’d left it spotless. She couldn’t even give Emma the satisfaction of having something to grumble about.

Of course.

##

The next day was the Pride holiday party, and it was going splendidly.

Mary Margaret and David were back, despite the fact that they hadn’t attended any of the weekly meetings. Apparently their ally-ship only extended to parties.

Still, she greeted them - and their hideous matching Christmas sweaters - and made a mental note to point them out to Ruby later. Mulan would probably be too nice, but Ruby would mock them with her.

Everything was in full swing. They had cheesy party games and karaoke and all kinds of fun things planned. Ali, Sabine, Jacinda, Marian, and all the regulars were there, cheering on Ruby as she belted out “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina.” (Theatre majors. Honestly.) Archie and Lance were sitting together, which was unsurprising, as they seemed to be completely joined at the hip. 

Emma was pretty certain there was something going on there, but she kept her observations to herself.

(Well, herself and her group chat with Ruby and Mulan. But half the fun of having queer friends was guessing which “het” person they knew was going to be the next to come out of the closet.

Ruby’s money was on Lance. Mulan’s was on Merida, a freshman exchange student from Scotland, and the one who was most definitely going to take Emma’s position as prime striker for the Knights next year when Emma left.)

Blue had texted to say she was going to be at the party, but so far, Emma hadn’t seen her.

But it was fun with or without her. Emma bounced around the crowd, greeting people and eating way too many cookies, and definitely not noticing when Regina showed up, a half hour after the party had started.

Just as Emma was deciding whether or not to go greet her, she heard Mulan calling her name and turned to see what she needed.

“Yeah?”

“Have you seen the second microphone? Merlin and Jasmine are trying to do a duet, but I can’t find it. You’re the one who brought the karaoke stuff, right?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s probably still in my trunk. Hold on.” Emma handed Mulan her Diet Coke and ran to grab her keys from her backpack in the coatroom. She rushed out into the frigid December night, immediately regretting her decision to do so without a coat.

Thankfully, the microphone was exactly where she had anticipated. She slammed the trunk of her car shut and whirled around to dash back inside, nearly colliding with Regina.

“Shti! Sorry.” Emma took a breath, holding a hand to her heart, which was pounding from nearly colliding with another human when she thought she’d been alone. “I didn’t see you there.”

“Sorry.”

Emma moved to pass her to get back inside, but Regina said, “Emma.”

Emma halted, swinging back around and nearly bouncing in place, because it was freezing out here. “Yeah?”

Regina opened her mouth, then shook her head. “Never mind. Go ahead.”

So Emma did, welcoming the heat of the party after the icy temperatures outside. Merlin was thrilled when she handed the microphone over, but Emma couldn’t stop thinking about Regina’s expression in the parking lot.

What on earth had she been about to say? She seemed so serious.

And she hadn’t come back inside, either.

Emma chewed the inside of her lip. Maybe she would go hear Regina out, whatever she had to say.

She headed back to the coat room and put on her parka this time. She was just fiddling with the zipper when Regina stepped inside.

“Oh. Hi.”

Emma stopped with the zipper halfway up.

“Hey. You coming in?”

Regina seemed nervous, like Emma had never seen her before. She kept putting her hands in her pockets, taking them out again, and putting them back in.

“No, actually. I-” she cleared her throat, “I was going to find you.”

“Oh, well. Here I am.” Emma threw her arms out to the sides in a tremendously awkward movement that was made even more awkward by the monstrous parka currently enveloping her.

“Yes. Here you are.” Regina removed her hands from her pockets again. “Would you like to follow me?”

“Out there?”

“Yes. I’d prefer it.”

“As long as you aren’t going to murder me.”

Regina murmured something that sounded almost like, “I wish.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Sorry.”

They trudged outside in silence, Emma following along behind Regina. Holy fuck, it was cold. She should have grabbed gloves. How long did it take to get frost bite?

“Okay. We’re outside. What’s going on?”

Regina halted under a large oak tree a few feet from the parking lot. It had been lovely in the autumn, but now it was bare, its empty branches lonely in the moonlight.

Regina turned to face her with a deep breath. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Emma frowned, and then comprehension hit her like one of the branches had suddenly fallen on her head.

Oh.

Oh.

Regina was going to come out to her. Emma felt like a massive idiot, and immediately rearranged her face to be supportive. 

Regina may not be her favorite person in the world, but everyone deserved to have an understanding audience to come out to for the first time.

Emma personally thought she was an odd choice, as they weren’t exactly close, but she was also the president of Pride, which probably automatically classified her as a safe person for this.

She waited for Regina to say more, but she just paced back and forth.

Then she stopped and looked Emma right in the eye.

Emma waited for the words she was sure were coming.

“I like you.”

Emma stared at her, sure that somehow, something in her ear-to-brain process had messed up.

She had expected I’m bisexual or possibly I’m gay .

Not this.

Possibly anything in the entire universe besides this.

Emma tried to speak, but she wasn’t entirely sure what to say and the pterodactyls were back and going absolutely buck wild in her stomach and her brain had completely shut down. But it didn’t matter, because her mouth had barely formed the w shape when Regina continued.

“A lot. I like you a lot, and it’s so stupid, I know. I’ve tried not to, and I know this is abysmal timing and there are so many reasons we wouldn’t work. It’s almost winter break, and we’re both about to graduate, and you’re way too outgoing and have terrible taste in clothes and also apparently drive the world’s ugliest car. Not that that really matters, but I just didn’t know what you drove until tonight, and it’s fresh on my mind.” She swallowed. “Anyway. The point is, I know it’s a terrible idea. But…would you like to go out with me?”

The thing about the speech was, it made a lot of sense and no sense at all.

But mostly, it was long. Which had given Emma’s brain time to finish its reboot, her temper flaring right along with it.

“Are you serious ?” She took a step toward Regina. “What the hell is wrong with you? First of all, you don’t insult someone when you’re trying to ask them out. That’s just basic logic. Second,” Emma held up two fingers. “I heard you on the phone with your boyfriend literally yesterday .”

“Wait, what?” Regina’s face was twisted in confusion.

“I can’t wait to see you. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved,” Emma mimicked, her voice high and ridiculous and sounding absolutely nothing like Regina. 

Regina’s eyes flew wide, and in the light from the streetlamp, Emma could see her face turning red. “Oh. I didn’t realize you heard- I mean-”

Emma cut her off.  “I don’t do cheating. Third,” she stepped even closer, speaking through clenched teeth. “Do have any idea how many queer kids are kicked out of their houses every day by bigoted parents?”

Regina’s brows drew down. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Blue told me what you did to her, outing her to her dad like that. I know it was years ago and you were young and jealous and whatever. But the fact that you haven’t even apologized…” Emma shook her head in disgust. “I wouldn’t date you if you were the last girl on campus.”

Regina blinked at her, her face dangerously impassive. “Well. I guess there’s nothing else to say, then.”

“I guess not,” Emma bit back.

Regina stared at her for another moment, then marched off to her car and drove away.

Emma stayed under the tree until her fingers were blocks of ice, trying to will away the empty chasm that had suddenly replaced her stomach.

##

Emma awoke the next morning with a pounding in her head.

No, wait, that was at the door.

Emma cracked one eye open, but her alarm clock still said 7:14 in bright green letters. She hadn’t been able to fall asleep until after 3 AM, her brain replaying the night’s events nonstop. And now someone was banging on her door like the building was on fire, stealing her last sixteen minutes of precious sleep.

“Yeah?” she hollered, hoping against hope that maybe she wouldn’t have to move. 

“It’s Mary Margaret!” came the muffled voice from the other side of the door. “Could you please open up?”

Emma sighed and kicked back her covers, schlepping off the bed with a groan. She opened the door without a word, glaring at the brunette who looked annoyingly perky, as always.

Mary Margaret grimaced apologetically when she saw Emma’s expression. “Sorry, I have an 8 AM final, and I promised I’d give you this.”

She handed Emma a thin envelope with her name written on it.

Emma peered at her. “You couldn’t have just slid it under the door?”

Mary Margaret shook her head. “I didn’t want it to get accidentally kicked under the desk or something. It’s important.” Her eyes widened. “I mean, I didn’t read it, obviously, but given...the circumstances. I just know, it must be. Please promise me you’ll read it.” Her stare was so kindly earnest that it was like staring straight into the eyes of a Disney princess, and Emma felt her annoyance fade slightly.

“Yeah, fine, I promise,” Emma agreed, flipping the envelope over, but it was blank on the other side. No indication of a sender. Weird. “So, uh, do I get a hint as to what it is first? Or is this just a rip-open-and-hope-it-isn’t-anthrax situation?”

Mary Margaret bit her lip. “I don’t know what it’s about. But it’s from Regina.”

Emma nodded absently, staring at her name written in that neat, slanted cursive. She had known, deep down, it would be, even though it had been years since anyone had written her a letter. Possibly since elementary school, when she’d actually been at one of her foster homes long enough to make a friend.

Somehow she didn’t think this one would be written in pink gel pen or signed LYLAS , though.

“Thanks,” Emma muttered, shutting the door before Mary Margaret could say another word.

“You’re welcome,” came through the door, and Emma didn’t acknowledge it.

Should she open it?

Well, she sure as hell wasn’t going to throw it away.

Emma leapt onto her bed and settled back against her pillows cross-legged, ripping the envelope open and taking out the sheets paper (which wasn’t just paper, but actual, proper stationery, like something a fucking Victorian heroine would use in one of those period dramas Mulan was so fond of).

This was clearly not going to be a short letter. Emma flipped the pages over found the beginning, and started reading.

Emma,

Don’t worry. I promise I won’t ask you out again. The message was received loud and clear.

However, you seem to be extremely misinformed on one particular matter, and knowing the culprit, I’m not at all surprised that she would stoop to a deception like this. But I would like to set the record straight. I did not out Blue. I would never do that to anyone. I’m not sure exactly what she told you, but essentially, it was the other way around. Blue was our stablemaster’s daughter, and we were friends when we were growing up.

After my parents’ divorce, however, I pulled away from most everyone, including Blue. She had fallen in with a more rambunctious crowd than I was comfortable with, and I was happy to stay with the horses, away from people in general.

Then the summer before my senior year of high school, Daniella came to work at the barns. She made me laugh, and I was smitten immediately. She was, too. We were happy, but I knew my mother. I knew the fact that I was gay would upset her, and since the divorce, her temper had gotten even more unpredictable. So I insisted that we keep everything a secret.

Until Blue came into the barns one day and saw us.

I wasn’t worried at all. In fact, I remember being relieved it was her that saw, rather than anyone else. I knew she resented the fact that we weren’t as close as we once were, but I didn’t think she would ever betray me.

I was wrong.

My mother was waiting for me when I got home that night. I wasn’t cast out, and she didn’t hit me. But let me say only that I have no desire to ever relive that night ever again.

In short, Blue betrayed me, and I have never been entirely sure why. But I have not forgotten, nor have I forgiven her. And now that she’s attempting to smear my name by using her own past actions and painting them as my own, I don’t believe I ever will.

As for your second point, I do not have a boyfriend. I’m a lesbian, and I have known this for many years. (Some of us do actually have good taste in clothes, you know, so I can see how it would be confusing. On a related note, I’m afraid that I have a habit of insulting people...Marian says it’s rude, but she also laughs, so I suppose it must take some level of wit.)

You heard only a snippet of a conversation without context and drew your own conclusions. Well, here is the truth: I was on the phone with my father. I am admitting to this next part only because it is slightly less mortifying than you believing I would speak to him in such a way. But we were on FaceTime, which as you undoubtedly know has video capabilities. During the particular bit you were referencing, I was speaking to my horse, Rocinante, who lives with my father in Colorado. I will be staying there during winter break.

I believe the record has now been set straight. I am not entirely certain you will believe me, and there are no witnesses I can call forth to back me up. You could ask Mary Margaret for her observations about the time, though she does not know the details. Her father and my mother are very good friends, and she likely has a general idea of the circumstances, though she has never spoken to me of it.  

But I am asking you to believe me, as every word I have written is the truth. 

If you made it this far and did not toss the letter in the trash or set it aflame, thank you for giving me a chance. Have a great winter break.

Regards,

Regina Mills

Emma blinked. “Have a great winter break ?” she asked aloud to the empty room, as though someone was going to answer her. As though there was an explanation for turning her entire world upside down with a hand-written letter and ending with a line straight out of a third-grader’s year book and then following that up with a conclusion that sounded like the end to an annoyed work email.

Emma started to re-read the letter from the beginning, sure that she had missed something, somewhere, that would make everything make sense again.

But her alarm chose that moment to go off, and instead, she had to set the letter down and rush to the shower so she could get clean before her final.

It didn’t stop the words from bouncing around in her head the entire morning. 

##

She didn’t see Regina again for the rest of the semester.

Admittedly, the rest of the semester was only a few days, the student population gradually dwindling to the last unfortunate souls with Friday finals.

By the time Saturday arrived, the campus was a sludgy ghost town. Emma, as one of the handful of students who had jumped through all the paperwork hoops and qualified to stay on campus, was very much looking forward to a month with absolutely nothing to do.

Well, nothing but apply for post-graduation summer internships and freak out about the fast-approaching future and try not to think about Regina.

But other than that, nothing.

The first week went ridiculously quickly, with a few productive things achieved and five seasons down of a trashy teen drama Ruby had been begging her to watch since freshman year.

It was entirely too addicting.

But Emma was going stir-crazy, and a look out the window at the frigid, sleety weather was enough to quell her initial instinct of going on a run. Which left only one alternative.

Emma paused her episode and grabbed her phone, swiping quickly over to soccer gays.

Emma (6:48 PM): going swimming. if i don’t text you in a couple hours, call an ambulance for me, k?

Ruby (6:48 PM): 👍

Ruby’s reply arrived immediately. Thankfully Mulan’s did not, as it would probably involve a lot more yelling.

Emma threw on her suit, then piled on the layers, grateful that the pool was only a couple hundred yards away.

A loose back door and a short, ill-advised brush with breaking and entering during her teen years came together in a brilliant collision of circumstances that allowed Emma to be in the warm, humid air of the pool in no time, inhaling the acrid scent of the chlorine that she was strangely fond of.

If she hadn’t been so good at soccer, she would’ve loved swimming. It was always so therapeutic. A good way to just let her body do its thing, clearing her mind to think about...well, whatever she wanted to think about at the time.

Or sometimes what she didn’t want to think about.

Which was often all she could think about.

Fuck Regina Mills anyway.

Emma headed to the locker room and started shucking off her layers. Her hoodie hit the metal bench with a thwack after she flung it with far too much force, her mind reeling with the thoughts she’d been trying and failing to quell for a week.

What right did Regina have, to be so unpredictable. And so awkward. 

And so beautiful.

Emma kicked off her sneakers, and one of them banged against a locker.

Most of all, Emma felt like shit.

She couldn’t event apologize to Regina, because she didn’t have her email, her phone number, anything. Didn’t even know what dorm she lived in, if she even lived in one, which was unlikely. Most of the members of Pride had written their contact info down on the membership log, but Regina hadn’t. Just her name. Regina Mills, in that same handwriting that was now burned in Emma’s brain from the letter she had read so many times that she could practically quote it.

(She had sent a strongly worded text to Blue, though, and the girl had just ghosted her, not even trying to explain. Which was good, as Emma wasn’t exactly in the most forgiving mood.)

Emma stood, finally stripped down to her practical blue one-piece. She padded out toward the pool and frowned when she realized that the lights were already on.

Shit. Maybe the cleaners were here, or maybe the security had been upped since last year and she had tripped an alarm or-

Just then, Emma caught sight of a form splashing a kick-turn at the other end of the pool. 

Apparently, she wasn’t the only one who knew about the easily-jiggled back door lock. Huh.

The form was moving toward her at a surprisingly quick pace, given that the girl was wearing a white bikini Emma would normally associate with lounging on beaches with a daiquiri. Not a front crawl to rival Michael fucking Phelps.

Emma watched as the mystery woman got closer, and she stepped toward the lane and said, “Hey,” in a loud. She didn’t want to just jump into the pool without letting the other person know of her presence.

The girl didn’t break her stride, so Emma stepped closer, kneeling down about a foot away from the edge. “Hello!”

This time, the other girl heard her, and she quickly splashed to a stop and stood up in one fluid motion, the shallow water lapping wildly around her ribcage.

Emma’s jaw dropped.

It was Regina.

Regina, here.

Regina, here, wet and wearing a white bikini and causing Emma’s brain to temporarily short circuit.

Regina, who was apparently just as surprised to see her.

“Emma?” The What the hell are you doing here? was unsaid but heavily implied.

“Hey.”

Regina said nothing, only looking at her as though she expected an explanation, which, fair.

“I, uh. Wanted to go for a swim. Didn’t know anyone else would be here. Sorry.”

“How did you get in?” Regina asked with a frown. 

“There’s a back door that doesn’t latch correctly.” Or was very easily un-latched, anyway. Close enough. “I found it last year when I was three weeks in and bored out of my skull.”

Regina blinked at her, and her mouth pulled into something almost like the smallest hint of a grin. “Are you telling me that you broke in? To go swimming?”

“If you want to get technical about it, probably, yes. How did you get in?”

“I have a key.”

“Oh. Well. That must be nice.”

“Being Cora Mills’ daughter has its perks at times.”

They lapsed into silence as Emma’s brain raced. So many words danced along her tongue, words of apology and words of questioning and words of too-fond-for-her-own-good mockery, because this girl acted all high and mighty but was actually a dork who Skyped with her fucking horse . 

Instead, she said nothing, and Regina said nothing, and the quiet stretched, and Emma’s heart thundered.

She couldn’t seem to look away from Regina’s eyes, unable to make out the expression in them. Did she hate her? Did she blame her? Did she still…

But those dark eyes were inscrutable, and Emma could no more figure out her expression than she could drop into the pool and set a new Olympic record for the butterfly.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude,” Emma said, finally, if only to break the silence.

“It’s alright. Stay. Swim.”

“No, I forgot, I actually, uh, have an app thing I need to get done today. Should get back,” Emma said, finally standing back up from her crouched position, and Regina’s eyes flashed down and back up to her eyes so quickly that Emma almost didn’t notice.

Except that she most definitely noticed , and every nerve ending in her body was on fire.

“You won’t bother me, I promise.”

“It’s okay. Some other time,” Emma said, backing away, and she disappeared back into the locker rooms to the sight of Regina still staring after her, heart still racing away in her chest.

##

Emma didn’t see Regina again the rest of break, and she couldn’t decide how she felt about it.

She tried to stick Regina Mills into the box labeled “Things Not to Think About,” but that only worked when she was busy enough to keep her brain occupied with other things.

By the time break ended, she had applied to five separate internships around the Midwest, deep-cleaned her room, finished a part-time gig at the local Christmas tree farm for some extra cash, learned three new recipes, and binged two entire shows from beginning to end.

But it wasn’t enough. Regina popped out of that box at the most inopportune times. When she saw someone with the same haircut at work. When someone on her show said something particularly snarky.

When it was 2 AM and Emma was wide awake and couldn’t stop thinking about her cute little awkward smile at the pool and couldn’t pretend that she was as indifferent to the whole situation as she wished.

Finally, January rolled around. Classes started again and, more importantly, it was time for the first Pride.

Emma was most definitely not watching the door for Regina.

Absolutely not.

“Emma...Emma...Hey, Swan!” 

Emma’s head whipped back toward Mulan, who was smirking at her knowingly. 

It was extraordinarily annoying, and Emma scowled at her. “Yeah?”

“Looking for someone?”

“What? No.”

“You sure?”

“Just seeing who’s coming back for the new semester. Did you see Archie and Lance holding hands? Totally called that one.”

“Yes, I did. And everyone’s here. Everyone but one particular person you seem to be missing, despite the fact that you ostensibly hate her. At least, last time I talked to you. Of course,” she continued, tilting her head slyly. “One could also factor in the text essay you sent me on at 1 AM on New Years after downing an entire bottle of champagne…”

Emma punched her arm. “You swore to never speak of that again.”

“I don’t think oaths made via text message count.”

“They do so.”

“Not my fault you didn’t account for the sarcasm factor,” Mulan said with a shrug.

Emma had a reply on the tip of her tongue until the door swinging open caught her eye, and her heart absolutely did not do a tiny jump.

Unfortunately, the red hair poking out from beneath the thick knitted cap most definitely did not belong to Regina, unless she had embarked on an extreme dye adventure since the last time Emma had seen her.

But then the person removed their cap and scarf, revealing the mystery stranger to be Merida, the freshman who was definitely on her way to being Emma’s replacement when she graduated. 

Showing up here meant that she and Emma probably had more in common than being awesome forwards with a preference for shooting with the left foot, though, and Emma couldn’t hold back a grin.

“Hey!” Emma greeted, meeting her halfway to the door, Mulan at her side. “Miss seeing us at practice?”

Merida laughed as she shook snow off her hat. “Yeah. Plus I came out to my family over break, so.” She shrugged, acting nonchalant, but her smile was huge. “Got room for another soccer lesbian in the group?”

“Hell yeah,” Emma said, pulling her into a quick side hug.

“Always,” Mulan agreed. 

“Can’t win a soccer game without gays, right?” Emma said, and Merida chuckled again.

“So I hear.”

“Emma!” Emma turned to see Ruby across the room, pointing to her wrist to indicate the time.

“Coming!”

Emma started the meeting, and she definitely didn’t notice when it was ten after. And then twenty after.

When the meeting was half over, she came to the conclusion that Regina must not be coming, quickly shoving the disappointment aside.

When she, Ruby, Mulan, and Merida were the only ones left, they decided to go back to Emma’s dorm for a late-night hot chocolate party, in celebration of Merida, and Emma didn’t think about Regina for at least an hour.

##

The thing was, Emma had never been into Regina in the first place, so this obsession didn’t even make sense.

Sure, she had thought she was cute when she was just her Cafeteria Crush.

But Emma didn’t tolerate assholes, and Regina was kind of an asshole most of the time. 

Or at least a lot of the time.

Well, some of the time.

Marian and Mary Margaret both seemed to like her, though they were two of the most ridiculously nice people Emma had ever met, so they probably couldn’t be trusted to be good judges of character.

She was still the daughter of Cora Mills, a horse girl who was probably spoiled as fuck.

A spoiled as fuck girl who was always carrying textbooks and studying like her life depended on it and taking a ridiculously intimidating course load and still managing to graduate in four years. Who nostalgically ate Easy Mac and drank hot cocoa and Skyped her horse and-

Emma thunked her head down on her desk.

She was toast. 

##

In the end, it didn’t matter anyway, Emma reasoned as she waited for people to file in for the second Pride meeting of the semester.

After all, even if Regina was into her, the factors Regina had listed when she asked Emma out six weeks ago still existed. All those reasons why they wouldn’t work out and probably several more.

Plus she probably didn’t even like Emma anymore. Not after Emma jumped down her throat and attacked her like that.

Though there was that smile at the pool to be considered.

But if Regina was going to avoid Pride altogether, she couldn’t have sent a clearer sign.

And then, eight minutes before the meeting started, she walked in, chatting with Ali and wearing the same beret she’d been wearing the night she came into the coffee shop.

An immediate showing of Return of the Pterodactyls began in Emma’s stomach at the sight.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

This was...incredibly inconvenient. Why had she gone and caught feelings now ? 

“Hey, look, your girlfriend’s back,” Mulan muttered from her side.

“Mulan, I swear to god-” She reached out to swat Mulan on the arm, but the girl evaded her. Damn her soccer reflexes.

Emma swallowed and greeted Regina with a small smile, and Regina responded with one of her own, tiny and maddeningly inscrutable. 

Emma decided that the best course of action would be to ignore her feelings entirely and focus on the night. She had a meeting to run.

The discussion went well, and after, Emma stepped up.

“Listen up, everybody! Next month is going to be our very first fundraiser. We’re going to do be selling cupcakes for Valentine’s Day. I know, it’s super cliché, but it works. We did it for the Knights last year and made bank. I’m hoping we’ll be able to do the same. Plus it’s a great way to remind people that Pride is here.”

There was a round of nods, and encouraged by the fact that most of them seemed interested, Emma continued on.

“So, we’ll need a few things. We’ll need at least one commuter who can volunteer their kitchen, though two would be great. We also need volunteers to do the actual baking, a couple for setup and tear down, and people to do the actual sales at the table. I have the list of duties here, so anyone who’s interested, please stick around and talk to me about what you’d like to do to help. Anything would be appreciated. We had to fight like hell to make this club happen, and we barely got any funding last year. Hence the sign,” she said, nodding to the same banner they’d strung up every week since last August. “In all seriousness, there’s a lot we could do! But we need money for it. And if the school isn’t going to give it to us, we’ll raise it ourselves. So, that’s my spiel. Come see me if you’re interested!”

Ten minutes later, she had volunteers for every spot on her list except for a second kitchen for cupcakes to be baked in. And that wasn’t even the end of the world, because Sabine and Jacinda were going to bake on their own and bring a few dozen beignets. 

Someone cleared their throat, and Emma looked up from her list to see Regina standing in front of the table.

Her heart promptly leapt into her throat, and Emma gave it a stern command to chill.

“You still need a place for cupcake baking?”

Emma stopped her jaw from dropping just in time. The idea of actually going into Regina’s home just seemed...so invasive. So personal. She couldn’t believe Regina would actually allow it.

Emma cleared her throat. “Uh, yeah. Actually. You volunteering?”

Regina nodded. “I have a kitchen. I don’t have cupcake pans, though.”

“That’s fine, you don’t need them.” 

Regina’s face morphed in confusion, and Emma barely refrained from thunking her head against the table. “I mean, we’ll provide them. The club is buying. Figure it’ll be an investment in future fundraisers. Or just an activity. Never know when you’ll need some cupcakes.”

“That’s true,” Regina nodded sagely, that strange little smile on her face again.

Emma cleared her throat. “Anyway, so I’ll put you down,” she said, scribbling Regina’s name in the last blank on her form. “I’ll have exact details soon, but it’ll be sometime in the evening.”

“That’s fine. I don’t have any classes after 3 this semester, so.”

“Perfect. You’ll be at next week’s meeting, so I can give you the info then?” Emma asked nonchalantly, and looked back down at the form under the guise of adding a note. As though she weren’t on the edge of her metaphorical seat waiting for the answer.

“I’ll be here. I missed last week for a grad school interview.”

Emma’s head snapped back up. “You going to grad school?”

“Yep. Vet school. At least that’s the hope. I’m finished with interviews, finally, so I’m as free as a bird. Or as free as a bird taking 18 credit hours, anyway.”

“Ouch.” Emma winced in sympathy. “Didn’t anyone tell you you’re supposed to take it easy your last semester?”

Regina clicked her tongue. “Not in the cards for me, unfortunately.” 

“Well, gotta make sure you have fun sometimes. You know what they say about all work and no play.” Emma felt herself slipping into flirting almost naturally, like it was exactly what she was meant to be doing. 

“I do. At least once a week. Usually on Tuesdays.”

Emma felt her cheeks grow hot, but before she could come up with response, Regina continued, “So you’ll have the details next week, then?” 

Which made Emma want to crawl into a hole, because apparently Regina hadn’t been flirting at all. Just saying how much she enjoyed Pride, which was the whole reason Emma had founded the club in the first place. Not so she could hit on gorgeous lesbians with extraordinarily confusing flirting styles.

“Yeah.”

“Great.”

Regina turned and walked away, pausing beside Marian and Mulan, who were standing entirely too close together to qualify as “friendly.”

As far as Emma knew, they still weren’t officially going out, but honestly. They weren’t fooling anyone.

“How long do you think before they get together?” Ruby whispered in her ear, causing

“Jesus! Creep much?”

Ruby shrugged, and Emma turned back to the couple. “Before Valentine’s, for sure.”

“You think? They’ve taken so long already, I’d almost think more end of the year.”

“I know, it’s pathetic. Like, just ask her out already and be done with it!” Emma exclaimed, and Ruby snorted.

“Yeah. Like you’re one to talk.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Emma asked, her tone cautiously neutral.

“Nothing. Just that you spend an awful lot of time staring at Regina Mills for someone who supposedly hates her.”

“Think you’ve taken one too many balls to the head.”

“If you say so.”

Great. Now Ruby knew. So she wasa 0/2 for keeping her friends from figuring out how she felt about Regina.

Or didn’t feel. If she stayed solidly in denial, maybe that would be easier.

##

The first half of February passed with too much snow, too many papers, and not a single conversation with Regina that implied she might still be into Emma.

Which was fine. 

Totally.

It just meant that Emma made sure she left a little bit late on the evening of the 13th, so that the others would show up at Regina’s before she did.

She just didn’t want things to be awkward.

(And didn’t want to give herself the opportunity to maybe do something stupid.)

So Emma knocked on the door of Regina’s apartment at 6:05 PM, thoroughly proud of herself for hitting five minutes after on the button.

Except that when Regina opened the door wearing a cherry red apron and showed her into the kitchen, Emma found...no one else.

It was just the two of them.

Shit.

“No one else here yet?”

“Nope.” Regina cleared her throat. “You’re the first.”

“Oh. Weird. Well, I come bearing cupcake pans,” Emma said, holding up the three pans she’d bought at the dollar store.

“Good. You did promise, after all.”

“I did. And I take my promises very seriously.” 

Regina chuckled. “You want something to drink?”

“I’ll take some water.”

Regina grabbed her a bottle from the fridge and handed it over, her pinkie just grazing Emma’s index finger, and Emma swallowed back the rush of feelings the contact invited.

Don’t be such a fucking lesbian, Emma.

“I-” Regina started, but she paused, looking down at her phone, and Emma heart a faint buzzing. Regina frowned at it. “Marian just texted. Said they’re about 20 minutes out. There was some kind of delay getting the supplies, I guess.”

“Delay?”

“She didn’t specify.”

“Okay. Well, we can’t get very far without the ingredients.”

Regina pushed away from the counter. “I have another apron, if you’d like it.”

“Sure,” Emma shrugged. “Why not?”

Regina disappeared into the other room and came back carrying a bright blue checked apron with rainbows all over it. 

Emma cackled with glee, taking it from Regina’s outstretched hand and holding it out for inspection. “That is the best thing I’ve seen in my entire life.”

“Marian gave it to me for Christmas. I don’t do much cooking, so I haven’t had a chance to wear it yet. Plus it’s terribly tacky.”

“So obviously you had to offer it to me?”

“Exactly,” Regina said with a wide grin, watching as Emma slipped it over her head and reached behind herself to tie it.

“Tacky with rainbows. That is my default style,” Emma said, thoroughly unashamed.

“At least you know what you like.”

“I’ve heard it’s a good quality. By the way, if this mysteriously disappears after tonight, I had nothing to do with it. Just putting it out there.”

“Yeah, because that doesn’t arouse my suspicions at all.”

Emma forced her brain to skip right over the fact that Regina had used the word “arouse” in a sentence.

“Just a disclaimer. You said you wouldn’t use it anyway. You wouldn’t miss it. Not that I’m planning on taking it. Obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“You should do more cooking. I’m totally envious of the fact that you have an actual stove.”

“I wish I could. Too busy.” 

“Right. 18 credits. Hence the Easy Mac.”

Regina laughed softly. “Yes. Exactly.”

“So, why’s it nostalgic for you?”

“Hmm?” Regina looked up from where she’d been straightening a towel hung across the oven handle.

“Easy Mac. At the store. You said it was a nostalgia food. It just-” Suddenly doesn’t seem like something a snobby rich family would feed their kids seemed like something she definitely shouldn’t say, and Emma tripped over her words. “I mean, with- I just wondered why.” 

“Oh.” Regina glanced down. “Well. Right after my parents divorced, my dad had a bit of a hard time getting back on his feet. Mom’s the one with all the family money. Anyway, he was always working and didn’t always have time to make the big meals he liked to cook when I was younger. Hence, a lot of Easy Mac on the weekends when I was with him. But it was worth it. He got his business off the ground, and now he owns a really successful therapeutic riding center.”

“Oh, wow.”

“Yeah.” Regina’s pride in her father was obvious in her soft smile, so different than the tone Emma had imagined her using when she wrote about her mother in the letter.

She wanted to hear more.

She wanted to hear everything.

Instead, Emma cleared her throat. “So, hooray for memory lane, huh?”

“Indeed. What about you? Any foods you associate with a parent?”

“Nope. I’d have to have parents for that.” Regina cocked her head to the side, brows furrowed in confusion. “Well, I mean, I assume I had biological parents. Pretty sure I’d have a better temper if it was an immaculate conception situation.”

Regina snorted.

“Foster kid, grew up in the system, all that fun stuff. But now I’m here, so didn’t turn out too bad.”

“You said your major is nonprofit management, right?”

Emma nodded, silently reveling in the fact that Regina remembered that, despite Emma not having mentioned it since her introductions their first meeting last August.

“That’s awesome. Anything in particular you want to do?”

“There are a lot of organizations that deal with homeless LGBT youth. I really want to get involved with one of those. Maybe start one of my own someday, after I get some experience.”

“Wow.” Regina stared at her, her eyes soft. “That’s amazing.”

Emma shrugged, suddenly self-conscious. “Not really. It’s a real problem. These parents are shit, and the kids need help. Someone has to do it.”

“No. No one has to. But they should. And you’re going to.”

“Well, hopefully. As long as one of them hires me. I’ve applied a few places to do an internship over the summer. The one I really want comes with a small stipend and ends in a job, so fingers crossed.”

“Definitely,” Regina said, holding up two fingers twisted into a Good Luck sign.

Just as Emma was about to ask Regina more about her plans for veterinary school, they were interrupted by the front door opening and all the others pouring in. Marian first, followed by Mulan, then Merida and Lance, each of them carrying a paper grocery bag.

And Emma most absolutely, definitely did not resent them.

Soon, though, her definitely-not-resentment faded into full-on contentment as the kitchen grew increasingly chaotic, someone turned on music, and Regina attempted to assign duties.

Eventually, the cake mix was mixed, and it even found its way into the pans.

(Well. Most of it.)

(There’s a slight possibility Emma might have spilled some batter on Regina. But it was an accident. Definitely not because she thought Regina would look adorable when annoyed.)

(She’d been right.)

##

The day of the fundraiser was off to a promising start, with unseasonably clear, warm weather. (Warm being a relative term meaning that Emma could semi-comfortably walk around in a hoodie rather than a thick coat, gloves, and a scarf.)

They set up the table in the atrium outside the dining hall before lunch, then Emma made her way across campus to her first class. Shifts were set up with two people manning the table in two hour chunks, and everyone texted her updates every so often.

So when her phone buzzed as she was about to head out to cover her 3-5 shift, Emma thought it would be Jacinda or Sabine, telling her they were halfway through their cupcake supply.

Instead, she paused with her door handle half-turned when she read Mulan’s text.

Mulan (2:48 PM): FYI, Regina’s going to take Marian’s shift with you at the cupcake table.

Emma stared at the screen for a moment, then recommenced opening and shutting her door, locking it behind her and starting the walk across campus to the dining hall while she typed her response.

Emma (2:50): i love how you drop this bombshell like you had nothing to do with it

Mulan (2:51): Not my fault! She has a paper due! Of course, the reason she hasn’t started it yet is because we stayed up until 2 last night talking, but that’s beside the point. 

Emma (2:52): mulan. i love you with all my heart but

Emma (2:52): are you fucking serious

Emma (2:52): i cannot with the two of you. just get married already

Mulan (2:53): U-haul lesbians are a stereotype, Emma.

Mulan (2:53): But she is officially my girlfriend now, so. 😊

Emma halted mid-stride, causing someone to bump into her. “Sorry,” she said with a snort, but the dude just kept going.

Whatever.

She stepped off the sidewalk just outside the entrance, because waiting the extra ten seconds to make it inside would be too much.

Emma (2:54): W H A T

Emma (2:54): OH MY GOD

Emma (2:54): FINALLY

She was in the middle of texting a longer reply when she was interrupted by a quiet, “Hey.”

Emma looked up to find Regina, clad in a navy jacket, those tan legging-type pants that a lot of the horse girls wore, and long riding boots, a backpack slung over one shoulder. 

And her heart promptly skipped a beat, because apparently she was a walking cliche.

“Hey,” Emma greeted, going for what she hoped came off as a casual tone. “I hear you’re subbing in for Marian.”

Regina nodded. “She had a paper, and for once, I’m actually not monumentally behind.”

“Worked out well.”

She fired off a quick text to Mulan saying that she expected full details later, then pocketed her phone.

“Shall we?”

Regina nodded, and they didn’t utter a word until they reached the cupcake table and got a report from Jacinda.

“We haven’t had a ton of takers, but I’m guessing the pre-and-post dinner crowd will finish off the rest of them. And the flowers are a big hit.”

Regina frowned. “What flowers? And what about the beignets?”

Emma snorted. “If only. I’m glad I snuck one when we first set up. We were out by the time lunch was over.”

“But I didn’t get one.” Regina sounded so offended that Emma almost laughed but stopped herself just in time.

Sabine had no such qualms, laughing outright. “I’ll make you some another time, I swear.”

“Thanks. I guess it’s good, though. We probably made a good chunk off those.”

Emma nodded. “Yeah. Even if we don’t sell anything else the rest of the day, we’ll still be in a lot better position than we were at the beginning of the year. The flowers definitely helped.” She turned to Jacinda. “Remind me to ask one of the crafty people to make a thank you card for them. We can all sign it next week.”

Jacinda nodded. “Great idea.”

“For who?” Regina asked.

“This flower shop down the road!” Sabine said.

Emma explained. “We went there yesterday to ask about getting a couple small arrangements donated for our table display. We got to talking, and it’s actually owned by this lesbian couple, and they’re both alums. They were so excited we finally had this club that they donated a bunch of carnations and roses for us to sell.”

“Holy shit. That’s awesome.”

“I know! I love gays!” Jacinda shouted, and they all laughed.

Soon enough, Jacinda and Sabine left them behind, and Emma was rifling through potential conversation topics that weren’t, “So, I know you listed a bunch of reasons you don’t want to like me and also it’s been almost three months since you made any sort of move toward me, and I initially shut you down with the speed and efficiency of a health inspector on a restaurant with an e. coli outbreak, but hey, any chance you’d like to grab coffee sometime?”

Just when she had settled on “horses” as a good conversational candidate, Regina pulled out a textbook as thick as her arm from her backpack. It had a very intimidating, science-y cover, and she flipped to a page, grabbed a highlighter, and immediately fell into a her Studying Mode.

Well. Maybe they weren’t going to converse after all. Disappointment weighed on her chest, and she teased before she could think the better of it.

“I thought you said you weren’t behind.”

“I said I wasn’t monumentally behind. I’m a double major. I’ve been behind since day one of freshman year.”

“Fair.”

Regina went back to studying, and Emma went back to pretending not to watch her studying. The dining hall wasn’t exactly hopping at three o’clock in the afternoon, so there was nothing to distract her. She had her phone, but it was only at 42% battery, which wasn’t exactly nothing but wasn’t great either.

Not that it mattered. She would have watched Regina anyway.

It shouldn’t be that interesting to watch someone read and scribble notes and chew on the end of her highlighter.

Emma sighed. Mulan hadn’t texted her back yet, so she pulled up Pokemon Go on her phone. Dropping a lure would kill a little bit of time, at least.

And she wouldn’t at all empathize with the creatures who were drawn to it despite their will.

##

Half an hour before the end of their shift, traffic began picking up, and Regina abandoned her textbook, shoving it back in her backpack. 

She clearly hadn’t been in customer service before, but her no-nonsense approach definitely didn’t let anyone pass by without acknowledging that the table was there, which was half the battle.

Regina pulled them in, and Emma made the sale. By the end of the shift, they were sold out of flowers and down to the last fifteen cupcakes.

“A little disappointed I won’t get to be around to see what we do with this, I’m not gonna lie,” Emma said, putting yet another bill into their small black cash bag as another student walked away, happily munching on a cupcake.

“I’m sure you could come visit.”

“If I get the internship I want, it isn’t local, so coming back would be hard. And it wouldn’t be the same. I knew it would be like this, but it’s still hard, after fighting for it so long. Though I didn’t win all the battles. Our funding is shit. And did you know we’re technically a ‘gay-straight alliance?’” Emma used air quotes to back up the sarcasm dripping from her tone.

“Really?”

Emma nodded. “That’s why all our fliers and stuff have the You’re welcome here slogan. The school didn’t want to be seen as ‘excluding anyone.’ Wouldn’t want those precious cishets getting offended that they’re being left out.”

Regina scoffed. “That’s rich coming from an institution that has literally one person of color on faculty.”

“Seriously? I mean, I guess you’re right. I just hadn’t ever really thought about it, but...damn. You’re right.”

“Yep. And she’s only been here two years.”

Emma shook her head. “At least we’re headed in the right direction, I guess. Just need to speed it up times, like, a hundred.”

“You making this club happen was a big step. It’s seriously great.”

Feeling her cheeks heat, Emma shrugged a single shoulder. “It wasn’t just me. I had Mulan and Ruby, too. I’m glad I’ll have Mulan to hand the reins over to. She’ll do good things.”

“Plus she’ll keep you in the loop.”

“Exactly,” Emma said, fingergunning at Regina, because she was possibly the lamest person ever.

“What’re you doing next year that-” Regina started but was interrupted by Ruby flouncing up to the table, and Emma bit her tongue to keep yelling at Ruby to give them another ten minutes. 

“Good evening, ladies! How go the sales?”

“Awesome!” Emma grinned, and it was even 80% genuine. “Not many left.”

“Cool. Well, I’m ready for my shift. Let’s do this thing! Shoo shoo. My turn,” she said, waving them off. Regina began packing up her backpack, but Emma didn’t move. 

“Want me to wait until Archie gets here?”

“Nah, I’m sure he’ll be here soon. I think I can handle selling a few cupcakes on my own. You two should go grab dinner.”

Emma was going to murder her. Or she was certainly going to give her very best efforts to Death by Extremely Covert But Intense Glare.

“No dinner for me yet,” Regina said. “I have to head over to the barns.”

“See you later,” Emma said, waving.

Regina gave her a small wave in return, zipping her jacket and heading out into the chilly evening.

Ignoring Ruby’s knowing look, Emma walked into the dining hall unaccompanied.

##

Emma woke to the sound of her phone blaring “Party in the USA,” which was not nearly as much of a guilty-pleasure-jam when blaring in her ear at 1 AM.

Still, her phone would only play that ringtone for one person, and that person never called her. It took her a couple times to stab at the button, but it finally connected, and she lifted the phone to her ear.

“Ruby? Everything okay?”

“No! Fuck, Emma. I screwed up. Fuck .”

Emma sat up, alert. “What’s wrong? Do you need help?”

Ruby signed, and ...was she crying? Emma had never heard Ruby cry.

“I think I lost the money.”

“What money?” The words emerged in almost slow motion,  realization dawning before Ruby’s answering words confirmed it.

“The fundraiser money!” Ruby wailed.

“Okay, take a deep breath,” Emma said, for herself almost as much as Ruby. “Walk me through what happened. Maybe it’ll help jog your memory.”

Ruby sniffled. “I don’t know. I’ve gone through it a million times.”

“Try one more.”

“Fine,” she said with a wet sigh. “Archie never showed for his shift. He texted and said he got a flat tire, but it was fine, because we sold out pretty fast anyway. I wasn’t even there an hour. But when I was taking down all the stuff, this group of frat guys came by. They didn’t say anything directly to me, but they were being assholes about Pride. I ignored them and took a load of stuff out to my car. Anyway, I know I put the money in the box with the table decorations, and that box was the one I left on the table while those guys were there. When I came back, they were gone, and I didn’t think anything of it. But-”

Here, her voice broke, and Emma had to console her before she could continue.

“I think one of them must have taken it. After I finished packing everything into car, I ate dinner, then went to karaoke with some friends, but my car was locked the whole time! And no one broke in. My iPod was still there, and my spare fifty that I keep in the glovebox. But I wanted to take the money up to my room so it didn’t stay in the car overnight, and I’d be able to grab it and give it to Professor Lucas before class in the morning. But when I went to grab it, it wasn’t there .” Her words ended with another sob, and dread filled Emma’s stomach.

Their faculty advisor was definitely not known for being the most understanding.

Not that it mattered. This wasn’t a matter of “misunderstanding.” This was a matter of hundreds of dollars going missing when it was due to be turned into the school tomorrow.

And they couldn’t lie and claim the fundraiser was a flop because Emma had already emailed Eugenia with the rough amount they had raised. Then in the morning, if things had worked correctly, Ruby would tally the money and record it in the school’s fundraiser paperwork, which she kept, as the treasurer. Then she would turn it into their faculty advisor, who would in turn give it to the school, who would put it into their club account.

Except now they had no money.

“Have you-”

“I’ve done everything!” Ruby said, her voice high with panic. “I’ve dumped all three boxes all over my floor, just to make sure I’m not missing it there. I went over my entire car like five times. I’ve looked all over the parking lot. It’s been over an hour. It’s just gone . It had to have been those guys. I swear, it was them.”

“Did you recognize them?”

“No.”

“You said they were from a fraternity, right? Any idea which one?”

“Fuck if I know. One of the party ones, I think. It might not have been a frat. Maybe just one of the teams. I just know they practically exuded toxic masculinity.”

“Shit. Okay. Listen, here’s our plan. It may just have been lost and someone picked it up. I’ll meet you in front of student affairs at 8, okay? It’s probably just in the lost and found.”

“I hope so. I really think-”

“If it was those guys, we’ll deal with it then, okay?”

Ruby blew out a breath, finally starting to sound calmer. “Okay.”

“Now, get a good night’s rest, alright?

“I’ll try.”

“Good. See you in the morning.”

“I’m sorry, Emma.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. Good night.”

“Night.”

Despite her advice to Ruby, Emma barely managed to get two more hours of restless sleep the rest of the night.

What if the money was gone?

What were they going to do ?

##

“The hell do you mean, they’re summoning you to a disciplinary hearing ?”

Ruby used her napkin to swipe away tears and then took another lick of her chocolate ice cream before responding.

The money had not been in the lost and found, nor had it been anywhere Emma and Ruby had searched for it. Eventually, they had given up and gone to tell Professor Lucas what had happened.

She had understood, though she expressed her concern and disappointment.

Emma though that had been the end of it. She had been prepared to scrape together a different last-minute fundraiser that wouldn’t be quite as profitable as the first, but wouldn’t leave their coffers lined only with the bare minimum that the school offered.

But apparently that wasn’t it.

“Since it’s a school-sanctioned club, officially, all the money I lost was the school’s. So I have to have a hearing to present my case, or whatever.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m the president. Surely that means I should be the one who-”

Emma paused when Ruby shook her head. “Since I’m the one who lost it and the treasurer, I’m ‘to be held accountable.’”

“This is ridiculous,” Mulan stormed. “They can’t do this to you. Did the letter say what they’re threatening?”

“I don’t know. But I’m afraid I might get kicked off the team, and I can’t afford to stay without a scholarship. My parents can’t afford it. They already think I’m wasting money, throwing it away on a theatre degree.”

“You’re not throwing it away. You’re good . I think I still have chills from your Lady Macbeth monologue last year,” Mulan said.

Ruby smiled faintly, and Emma jumped in. “We’ll figure this out.”

But the disciplinary council stood firm, no matter how many times Emma contacted them. They wanted nothing to do with her story. The only thing they assured her of was that the club probably wouldn’t be disbanded.

Though, of course, they couldn’t make any guarantees.

A week before Ruby’s hearing, Emma got a call that she had gotten the internship in Denver.

It was by far her first choice. They had an amazing staff and a great vision, and it included provided housing, as she would be a shadowing a live-in mentor for one small group of kids. Plus, as long as it went well, they were planning to hire her on full-time once the summer trial period was over.

Emma managed to keep calm on the phone, then promptly lost every single ounce of shit she possessed the second she hung up.

But she also didn’t want to rub her good news in Ruby’s face, so she texted Mulan instead. Mulan promptly appeared at her door with four slices of chocolate cake she’d somehow managed to smuggle out of the dining hall, and they ate every bite.

Knowing she had the internship was one giant source of stress eliminated, but the threat of Ruby’s meeting still hung over her head the next several days.

When the day of the hearing arrived, Emma couldn’t even eat dinner. Even the sight of Regina across the dining hall barely distracted her.

She hated it when there were problems that she could do nothing to fix.

Still, there was nothing to do but wait. She gave up on dinner and went back to her dorm, trying to distract herself with homework, then shoved that aside and just turned on some crappy reality show instead.

Her phone vibrated for the hundredth time that night, and while the first few had sent her diving toward her phone in anticipation, now Emma barely glanced at the screen, sure it would just be another spam email or news notification.

But it was a text from Ruby to the soccer gays group chat, just saying all good!

Emma gasped and unlocked her phone, her fingers flying across the screen.

Emma (7:47 PM): oh thank god!! what happened??

Mulan (7:48 PM): YEAH, THAT.

Emma watched as Ruby’s text bubble popped up and went away multiple times before staying on for a long time. Finally, her message came through.

Ruby (7:54 PM): they’re letting me keep my spot on the team and my scholarship! think they just wanted the chance to lecture me, tbh. but i have amazing news! apparently some anonymous donor came forward and donated $800 to replace the money we lost. so i’m good, AND so is Pride!!!!

Emma physically shouted, “What!” at her phone halfway through the message, reread it, then started typing back furiously.

Emma (7:56 PM): ARE YOU SERIOUS?? THAT’S FANTASTIC HOLY SHIT.

Mulan (7:56 PM): [crowd cheering gif]

Emma (7:57 PM): do you have any idea who it was??? maybe someone found it? or maybe one of the jerks felt bad and gave it back

Ruby started typing, stopped, and started again.

Ruby (7:59 PM): Who knows? I’m just glad this whole thing is over. I have an “official reprimand” but it basically means nothing, so! wanna head over to mine? i have some mike’s…..we could start spring break a day early 👀

Mulan (8:00 PM) Hell yeah.

##

Emma spent spring break alternating catching up on sleep and homework with scrolling through her Instagram, enviously liking photos that looked at least 70 degrees warmer than the current Iowa weather.

She had not been able to find Regina’s, despite a solid hour spent sleuthing. It was an easy jump from Mulan to Marian, and Regina was in quite a few of Marian’s pictures, but she wasn’t tagged, nor had she commented in the past, well...long time. Emma wasn’t surprised exactly, but how was a girl supposed to engage in some mild crush stalking if a person didn’t even have an Insta? Her Facebook was locked and probably hadn’t been updated in six months anyway, if Emma had her pegged correctly. Damn it. What had people done before social media? Just hung out somewhere their crush would probably be and hope to run into them? Maybe Emma should go back to the pool. Or maybe she could come up with a reason to go to the barns...

On second thought, that would probably cross the line from lol-sort-of-stalking to restraining-order-actual-stalking.

Emma groaned, tossed her phone down, and went to bed.

She was just on the cusp of falling asleep when her phone vibrated, and her poor decision-making skills made her reach for it. 

It was a Snap from Ruby, loudly proclaiming her love for Emma and very clearly thoroughly inebriated. 

Emma opened the chat function and typed back:

Emma: love you too

Emma: stay safe and drink lots of water xoxo

Roby: don’t woryr we have a dd. 

Emma: good. we’d be sol if we were stuck with your sub next year

Ruby: hell no that bitch does not get my sopt. i’ll be theere!!! thanks to regina

Emma blinked at the words, but they didn’t change.

Emma: what?

Ruby: oh shit. iignore me. shit.

Emma: what do you mean?

Ruby: regina showed up at my hearing and told admin she lost the money and i was lyying to cover for her. they wouldn’t do anythnig to her bc she’s the pres’s daughter

Ruby: then she gabve them a check for the money

Emma stared, jaw dropped, at her phone as the messages just kept appearing.

Ruby: don’t you DARE screenshot this i was sworn to cescrecy

Ruby: she might murder me

Ruby: she can be kinda scary smoetimes

Ruby: in like a hot way

Ruby: but stilll

Emma: i won’t. sleeping now tho. night!

Except she didn’t fall asleep for a long, long time.

##

The next day, Emma was going insane. She had to talk to Regina, but she still didn’t have the woman’s number, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to do the desperate thing and ask Marian for it.

The only thing she had was Regina’s address, but showing up unannounced on her doorstep would probably put her right back into stalker territory.

The thing was, even if she did that, she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say when she got there. Emma wanted to thank her, obviously. She wanted to thank her fifty times and bake her a cake and give her a dozen balloons. But she also wanted to shout at Regina, because she was mildly in love with her and trying very hard not to be, and this was definitely not helping . 

In the end, she decided on ordering one of those fancy gourmet cupcakes to be delivered to her, from the place everyone on campus seemed to be obsessed with, even though it cost like three times as much as a cupcake should. 

Emma went through all the flavors listed on their website, finally settling on caramel apple, because she didn’t want something too obvious, and it just seemed like something Regina would like.

She also spent almost half an hour composing the accompanying note, eventually winding up with, “Thank you. I know it’s no Easy Mac, but I hope you’ll enjoy it.” No name, but Regina would know.

She submitted the order with a wince, noting that she could probably drive to Regina’s apartment and back sixteen times for the amount the place was charging for delivery.

But oh well. That was probably how they made their money, off poor college students who got high and forgot about things like money smarts when they wanted a cupcake to appear in front of them with minimal effort at 11 PM.

It only felt right to do something for her in appreciation. It didn’t feel like enough, but she also knew Regina well enough to know she wouldn’t want it to be a big deal. Which was why she had sworn Ruby to secrecy in the first place.

Emma sighed.

Even with graduation around the corner, she had a terrible feeling it was going to be a long-ass time before she’d be able to get over her.

She was just...so complex. She always surprised Emma, especially because Emma had misjudged her on almost every front from the beginning.

When she thought of the fact that they could’ve been-

That Regina used to want her too-

Emma gritted her teeth, refusing to give into the melancholy.

She threw on her joggers, running shoes, and a hoodie and headed out to the gym instead. Maybe if she ran long enough, she’d be able to outrun the regret nagging at her gut.

##

When Emma returned from the gym nearly two hours later, she was drop-dead tired.

When she opened the door to her dorm, rounded the corner, and found herself face-to-face with Regina, she wasn’t entirely sure it wasn’t a hallucination.

“What’re you doing here?” The words came out far more accusatory than she meant them to.

Regina bit her lip, and Emma’s eyes zeroed in on it immediately before she dragged her eyes back up to meet Regina’s gaze.

“I wanted to say thank you for the cupcake.”

She spoke. Not a hallucination. Emma felt the stirrings of a smile on her face as the words processed. “The cupcake was to thank you , you dork. You can’t thank me for a thank you.”

“I can-”

“Wait, how did you even get in here?”

The dorm was password protected, and Regina was most definitely not a resident.

“I may have used Mary Margaret.”

Emma’s eyes bulged. “Mary Margaret gave you the code? She lives for those stupid rules. She once made a twenty minute PowerPoint about dorm safety and why we should never, ever give the code out to anyone. I’m surprised she lets us have it and doesn’t have, like, biometric eye scanners set up at each of the entrances.”

Regina laughed softly. “Um, no, she didn’t give me the code. I...may have led her to believe I was here to see her.”

“What?”

“I knew she was your RA, so I called her and suggested I drop by so we could catch up. It was terrible. I had to listen to her ramble on about her boyfriend for twenty minutes. Then I asked if I could swing by and visit you, and she accompanied me, but you weren’t home, and she went back into her room about ten seconds before you opened that door, and now here we are.”

Emma grinned. “And I thought showing up at your apartment might be considered stalkerish.”

Regina startled. “I didn’t mean to be creepy. I wasn’t going to like, lurk or anything. I just wanted to...see you. Talk to you.” She cleared her throat. “Do you-”

“Do you-” They each started and broke off simultaneously, and Emma laughed nervously.

“You wanna come up? If you don’t mind, I’ll just take a quick shower, then you can talk about...whatever you were going to talk about. Pride, I’m assuming?”

Regina nodded. “Sure.”

Emma led the way up the steps and to her room, unlocking the door and kicking it open. She winced when she flipped on the lights, suddenly seeing her dorm with fresh eyes. The dishes piled up on the desk. The clothes on the floor by the closet.

“Sorry, I wasn’t really expecting company.”

“It’s fine.”

“Really?” Emma slid her eyes over to Regina. “I was all ready for a barb about my housekeeping skills.”

“Despite what you seem to think, I am capable of being nice. Sometimes,” she amended after a brief pause, and Emma felt her smile soften, meeting Regina’s eyes.

“Yeah,” she said softly. “Yeah, I know.”

Regina didn’t look away, and Emma’s throat grew suddenly tight. She sniffed and shuffled to the side, letting the door slam closed behind her, breaking the silence.

“I, uh...I can put on some music or something?”

Regina shook her head. “I’m fine.”

“Okay. Well, feel free to sit anywhere. I’ll just be two seconds.”

Emma grabbed some clean clothes from her drawers and then shut herself into the bathroom she shared with her suitemate, resting her head against the cool metal of the door for a moment.

Maybe Regina was here to talk about Ruby or Pride or both, and she probably was. But it felt...it felt like it might be more.

Stripping down and stepping under the spray, Emma made the decision that if Regina wanted to go for it, despite everything that was against them...she would.

(Not that that was ever really in question. At this point, Regina could ask her on a date to go see Ed Sheeran, and Emma would just fucking swoon at her feet. And Emma hated Ed Sheeran.)

Even if it only meant they would have a short time together, it would be worth it.

But she was putting the cart before the horse. Regina was probably just here to make sure Emma wasn’t going to go blabbing about her bailing out Ruby.

Because she was a good person.

Emma sighed and hopped out of the shower, toweling off.

She tossed on her sweatpants, underwear, and sports bra, then cringed when she realized that the shirt she’d grabbed was the one that had (tr)eat your girl right splayed across the chest, a gift from Ruby last Christmas. Of course.

Because that was just what the universe would do.

She emerged, and Regina was standing in the far corner of her room, perusing the collage of pictures Emma had sticky-tacked to the back of her door.

“Sorry about that.”

“No problem.”

Emma hoisted herself onto her bed and sat cross-legged there, because it felt less awkward than standing in the middle of her dorm room.

Regina took a seat on her desk chair.

“So,” Emma prompted.

Regina nodded, thoroughly business-like. “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to say anything about-” She halted suddenly. “Is that…” she trailed off, and Emma followed her gaze to a piece of stationery resting incriminatingly on the desk, open and clearly recently read, heavily creased from being opened and closed dozens of times.

“You kept my letter,” Regina said, in a completely different tone that Emma had never heard from her before. Thoroughly confused. 

And maybe...maybe hopeful? Was Emma just imagining things?

She realized she had gone far too long without replying, so she said the first thing that popped into her head. “Yeah. I thought I might submit it to a museum as the last handwritten letter known to humankind.”

Regina let out a startled snort-laugh that was the most delightful sound Emma had heard in her entire life, then adopted a pseudo-defensive tone. “I didn’t have your number. It was the logical next step.”

“Right. Definitely more logical than getting my number from Marian or, you know, the hundred fliers it’s printed on in every single building on campus.”

Regina flushed slightly, but her tone remained uncowed. “In hindsight, yes, but clearly my letter made it to you without any problems.”

“It did.” Emma cleared her throat. “Thank you.”

Regina looked away from the letter and back at her, confused.

“For Ruby, I mean. You didn’t have to do that.”

Regina looked back down at the letter. “It was nothing.”

“It was not nothing. I know you swore her to secrecy and you’ll probably want to do the same to me, but before you do, I just want to know how much I appreciate it.”

Regina shook her head, a strange half-smile on her face. “I love Pride. It’s the only club I’ve ever belonged to, did you know that? Since freshman year, I’ve always just claimed I was too busy. Marian had to drag me there the first week, but I kept going, because…” She cleared her throat. “Well, because I loved it. Because it was a great group. And it deserves to keep going, not to fail because some jackasses decided to steal the money.”

“How did you even-” Emma started, but Regina cut her off.

“Mulan told Marian who told me.”

“Ah. Of coures.”

“I also…” Regina looked back down at the letter. “I knew how important it was to you. You went through so much to make Pride happen, and I knew you’d be crushed if anything happened to it.”

“But you could’ve just donated the money.”

Regina shrugged. “When you find an opportunity to use your privilege for good, you take it. Especially when it means you’ll be helping out the girl you’d basically do anything for.” Regina looked up then, her eyes slightly guarded, but more gentle than Emma had ever seen them, and her breath caught in her chest. 

“Listen, I know...I know I said I wouldn’t bring it up again. And if you still feel the same way, please tell me, and I swear I won’t ever mention it. I don’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. But is there any chance you’ve changed your mind? About me?”

The pterodactyls had returned yet again, and this time they were threatening to escape from her stomach, grab her heart, and tug it right out of her ribcage. It was beating too fast, and she couldn’t breathe or speak or-

Instead, she uncrossed her legs, hopped down from the bed, marched across the room, and planted her lips squarely on Regina’s like she had imagined doing at least a thousand times at this point.

It was an incredibly awkward position, bending down two feet to reach Regina sitting on the chair, but the slight gasp Regina let out just before their mouths met, the way her hands reached out to cup Emma’s cheeks oh-so-gently... it was the most perfect thing she had ever accomplished in her entire life.

She pulled back. “Is this alright?”

Regina laughed, running her finger over Emma’s bottom lip. “You have no idea how much.” With that, Regina pushed to her feet, grasping Emma’s forearms and pulling her close. Emma went happily, folding Regina into her arms like she was meant to go there and build a house and plant a garden and never, ever leave.

Regina kissed her, gently at first, then with increasing urgency, Emma grasping at her waist and Regina’s fingers tangling in her still-damp tresses. 

“I’m sorry,” Emma mumbled against her lips, and Regina drew back, her forehead wrinkled in a frown.

“For what?”

“For believing Blue. For misjudging you.”

Regina shook her head. “It’s all in the past. And it’s not all your fault, anyway. I know I can be a bitch sometimes.”

Emma laughed. “You’re not a bitch. Just...prickly.”

“Like a cactus. Lovely,” Regina said dryly, and Emma grinned.

“Yeah, exactly like a cactus. You’re all prickly but also once you get past the prickles, you’re secretly soft as fuck.”

“I am not.”

“Sure.”

“Am not .”

“You’re literally going to be a vet.”

“I like animals and science. It’s a logical progression.”

Emma started ticking things off on her fingers. “Saved Ruby, saved Pride, refused to take credit for it, volunteered your house for cupcake baking even though you were slammed with homework, let me take the last book from the library-”

“You were cute. I was just doing that to get in your good graces.”

“Sure.”

“I think I liked you better when you didn’t talk to me.”

“I can think of some things that don’t involve talking”

Regina’s gaze flickered down to her shirt and back up again so quickly Emma almost missed it.

But she saw. And she saw Regina’s eyes darken, too.

And she decided listing Regina’s virtues could wait for another time. Instead, she drew her close and pressed their foreheads together, taking in a deep breath. 

“I didn’t think I was going to be able to do this. I thought I missed my chance.”

Her voice was embarrassingly husky.

Regina folded their fingers together. “You have it. You have me.”

For how long ? The question niggled at the back of Emma’s brain, but she wasn’t going to go there.

If they only had a month and a half, it was going to be the best damn month and a half of her life.

And she wasn’t going to waste another second of it.

She dove in, catching Regina’s lips in a breathless kiss that grew in intensity second after second until the heat was too much to bear and she couldn’t breathe and she had to take a moment and gasp against Regina’s lips, and the other woman caressed her shoulder and her hips, and Emma was going to die right now from absolute, utter bliss.

And then Regina tugged her toward the bed, and Emma was made entirely of fireworks.

##

Due to the fact that at some point, her foot had accidentally kicked her alarm clock to the floor, Emma had absolutely no idea what time it was.

She only knew that the sky outside was very dark and the girl in her arms was very warm and, like her, very naked. They had been like this a lot in the last four days, but tomorrow, classes would start again. They had been wrapped up in their own little world of sex and food and movies and cuddling and ice cream. It had been...amazing. Like something out of a fantasy. But they had avoided talking about anything real, and real life was about to come creeping in tomorrow.

The side of her that was closest to the window was uncomfortably cold, and Emma slowly shifted down to try to grab one of the blankets to pull over the top of them.

“I’m awake,” said a voice at her shoulder, and Emma smiled.

“Oh, good. I was trying not to wake you, but I’m freezing.”

Emma sat up and grabbed one of her oversized blankets from the foot of the bed and tugged it up over them. Regina snuggled back into her arms, and Emma couldn’t suppress a sigh of contentment. She never wanted to move. She wanted both of them to stay in this bed for the rest of eternity. They could just bribe their friends to bring them meals and tell their professors they had come down with some deadly disease that required a strict quarantine and take their exams from here, under the cozy comforter and twined up together.

And then, after the semester ended-

Well, they would probably go their separate ways. Which was why they should be allowed to spend every second together that they could.

It would make it hurt a million times worse when they had to say goodbye, but it would be worth it.

At times, graduation had seemed like something she would never reach, but suddenly it felt closer than ever, and Emma just wanted to push it back. For months. Years. Possibly forever.

“I feel like you should know something,” Regina said, linking her pinkie with Emma’s under the bedspread. Emma brought their hands up and kissed her palm.

“What?”

“I don’t want to...assume what this means to you. I know it’s only been a few days and we haven’t really talked about, you know. DTR, the future, all that. But just in the interest of honesty, you should know that I’m not staying here when I graduate. I’m moving away. Going to vet school.”

“Yeah, I know. You told me.” And Iowa State was over ten hours from her internship. She’d checked. “I’m moving, too. For my internship. I got my top choice, the one I really wanted, that leads to a full-time position.”

“Oh, Good for you. That’s amazing.” She dropped a kiss onto Emma’s lips. “Where is it?” she asked, her voice growing slightly strained. “Des Moines?”

”Denver.”

Regina lifted her head. “Colorado?”

“Colorado.”

Regina blinked at her. “Where’s my phone?”

“What?” Emma frowned as Regina suddenly sat up, springing off the bed for the desk on the other side of the room, still stark naked.

Emma was too taken aback to fully enjoy the view of Regina, highlighted by the moon streaming in from the window, her face lit up by the glow of her screen.

And then she tapped a few keys, and her face morphed into a huge grin. She crossed the room and held the phone up to Emma’s face. Emma propped her head up on her hand and squinted at the screen, blindingly bright in the darkness. Regina had her maps app pulled up, and the display on the screen read 1 hour, 9 minutes.

“What’s this?”

“The distance from Denver to Colorado State. Where I’ll be attending vet school.”

Emma stared at her, barely able to make out her outline with the phone still shining right in her face. She looked back down at the screen, grabbed the phone, inspected it more thoroughly, and then shut off the screen, setting it aside on the bed.

“Are you serious.”

Regina nodded.

“You’re not going to Iowa State?” Emma felt like this was a dream. An amazing, wonderful, crazy dream, but a dream. Surely this wasn’t real.

Regina shook her head.

“Why Colorado?”

“Because,” Regina answered, climbing back into bed. “They have one of the best large animal vet programs in the country. And because I wanted to be closer to my father.”

“Where does he live?”

“Boulder.”

Emma let out an incredulous laugh. “Holy shit. Holy shit .” She pulled out an arm and wrapped it around Regina’s shoulders and pressed her toward herself, dropping a kiss onto her shoulder. 

“So you...you’re up for continuing this, then?”

“Yeah. I’m very much up for it. I think an hour and nine minutes sounds doable, don’t you?”

“Absolutely doable.”

“The doable-est.”

“You’re such a dork,” Regina said, pushing Emma’s hair away from her neck.

“You love it,” Emma scoffed, and Regina pulled back, looking suddenly serious.

“I really, really do.”

“Oh.” Emma swallowed. “I-”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say it back. I know we’re doing things all backward here.”

Emma chuckled. “We totally are. But I love you, too, though. You’re my very favorite cactus.”

Regina exhaled a soft laugh. “You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Nope.”

Regina sighed and rested her head against Emma’s neck, and Emma reveled in the sensation.

Tomorrow, real life Would start. But now, without the impending though of losing Regina hanging over her head, she could focus on all the bright things instead. It was still scary as hell, but she was excited and ready for the challenge.

But she could think about that later.

Right now, she had her favorite person in her arms, finally. 

There was too much to be thought and felt and said here, between the two of them.

The rest of the world could wait until tomorrow.