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Comparatively, Sammy thought to himself, the night had been something out of a dream. No abductions, no near-death experiences- just a normal four hour shift spent talking with his best friends. That... doesn’t happen often. Ever, in fact. That’s why, as he drove home after an emotionally exhausting night, he didn’t feel too paranoid for keeping one eye trained firmly on the sky for any sign of lights where there shouldn’t be.
As he followed the red taillights of a beat up green Honda belonging to one Benjamin Arnold down the mountain, he pulled down his visor against the early morning sunlight. It wasn’t a bad time of year, he guessed. Days weren’t too short or too long, weather was just turning a little warmer, and the leaves were starting to bud on the trees. Personally, Sammy was a big fan of autumn, and used to absolutely love the Christmas season. Jack was always the one for warmer weather and sunny days. They balanced each other, so that there was always love abound for the entire year in their apartment.
Jack and love. Sammy shook his head, a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips. Those two always went together. There was no one without the other. Jack himself attracted a good deal of love, from Lily, from Sammy, from every person he walked past on the street. He just seemed to have a light within him that drove back any darkness. Most, Sammy corrected himself with a pang in his chest, then pushed the familiar feeling of guilt firmly down. It must’ve been the love, and living without it continued to be the hardest thing Sammy could imagine.
He glanced in the rearview mirror at Lily’s car and wondered where her thoughts were right now. Those audio logs were buried deep, he knew that much. It must’ve taken a lot of work to get a hold of those, but then again, she was a phenomenal journalist. He scoffed fondly as he heard her saying it in his head. No matter how much they argued, Sammy had never been able to deny her that. He also couldn’t deny, despite what he’d said, that Lily had just as much claim to grieving Jack as he did. She was hurting after hearing his voice too. Of course, neither of them had talked about it, and on air wasn’t the place to start. Radio professionals and all that. So the fact that she did all that anyways... Sammy didn’t want to finish that thought. It seemed wrong to assume anything about Lily Wright. The only way to actually know what she thought was to talk to her, which could be harder than getting a picture of Jack-in-the-Box-Jesus. Like the good old days, Sammy thought, and immediately shoved down more thoughts that arose from that. He didn’t get to be wistful after what he did.
He pulled into the apartment parking lot behind Ben’s already cooling car, quietly parking his Prius, and walking through their front door. Dropping his keyfob onto the table next to the door, he crossed to the couch where Ben is quietly laughing at something Emily just said. She looks up as Sammy approaches, smiling brightly. “Happy Sammiversary, Sammy.”
Ben turns to face him, spreading his hands widely and grinning. “See? That wasn’t so bad, be honest. What’d you think?”
“I, uh.” He stops as the front door opens, Lily quickly meeting his eyes before adding her keys to the pile and crossing to the kitchen. Forcing down the ache in his chest, Sammy gives a tired smile. “It was great, guys. I can’t... I can’t really express what it means to me, exactly, but I will say it was a definite improvement from the past, what, four years?”
A loaded chuckle passes through the couch, Lily even smiling into the fridge while leaning down to grab her oats. A comfortable silence fell, as it often did within the Arnold/Stevens/Wright household, each member lost in their own thoughts. Sammy watched as Lily grabbed a spoon, gaze flicking to the slowly lightening windows when she looked up. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Emily exchange a glance with Ben, before stretching into an exaggerated yawn. She had always been amazingly perceptive. She’s gonna give Lily a run for her money some day, Sammy thought amusedly. “Well, it’s a little past my bedtime, so I think I’m gonna turn in.” She stood, stepping over Ben’s legs to bring Sammy into a hug. “I’m really glad you’re here,” She said quietly, words full of unspoken ones.
“Me too,” Sammy answered truthfully. Ben stood as well, squeezing him tightly after Emily stepped back.
“To many more Sammiversaries,” he proclaimed to the room, and as an afterthought, added, “and long-due company to help celebrate it.” Unable to respond, Sammy only hugged him tighter. “Love you, man. We’ll talk later, ok?” Sammy nodded against the top of Ben’s head as a promise, receiving a clap on the shoulder in response as he stepped back. The couple waved at the other two, real yawns starting to break through, before walking together down the hallway that led to their rooms. Sammy figured Lily was as aware as he was that they left them alone on purpose, and wasn’t sure whether to be thankful or annoyed.
“Well that was blatantly obvious.”
Sammy turned with a chuckle, stepping over to the counter Lily was leaning on. “I was thinking the same exact thing. I guess I should be proud, right? I mean, I did kind of teach him that.”
“What, the not-so-subtle art of forcing two emotionally constipated people to talk about their feelings with each other?” The corner of her mouth quirked up in amusement, before she dipped her spoon into the jar and raised a quizzical eyebrow at him
Sammy shrugged, sliding onto the barstool and kicking his shoes off. “Worked for him and Emily.”
Lily exhaled with a hiss, examining the spoonful of oats. “Someone should really have told him you’re not my type.”
“Not sure where we went wrong if he thought you were mine,” Sammy snarked back, picking at a crumb on the countertop before accidentally making eye contact with Lily. There was a moment of dead silence, before the two started laughing. Real, genuine laughter, the kind that neither could remember the last time they experienced it was. Well. Approximate dates, at least.
As the laughter died out, Sammy wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, the pair fell back into a companionable silence, noticeably lighter than it had been before. It was minutes before either of them spoke again, Lily taking spoonfuls of carefully prepared oats, Sammy staring in the direction of the jar but seeing one that belonged in a past decade. When the silence was broken, it was by a now-empty jar being set on the counter, and Lily clearing her throat.
“Listen, what I said on that tape... from earlier,” She clarified, working a spot off the counter with her thumb and purposefully not looking up. “I meant it. All of it. And I know we don’t always have the smoothest relationship, for a vast multitude of enormous, heavy reasons, but that’s always gonna be true. I got your back, Stevens. And I hope you have mine, because I don’t think either one of us could have Jack’s by ourselves. That kid is ridiculously buff, it’s kinda unfair. He took up all the weight and left none for you,” She shook her head in mock disappointment, amusement creeping back into her voice. “Honestly, I don’t know how he didn’t just knock you over whenever he breathed.” Sammy shook his head and laughed, earning a smile from Lily. “But, anyways. Don’t make me say it again, I have the backlogs from tonight for you to play to yourself whenever you’re feeling depressed. Which I guess is always, but hey. No limit to replays.” She fell quiet, picking up her spoon and turning it over between her fingers.
Sammy understood the meaning between her words. It came with years of familiarity, and an odd level of similarity between the two. He knew both of them were unused to speaking candidly about difficult subjects, a category that Jack fell firmly into, so he knew the effort her small speech took. He also knew the effort, mental and literal, to make the tape in the first place. It meant more to him than he could ever articulate, but he felt he owed it to Lily to try.
He cleared his throat, getting rid of the emotion stuck in it. “Thank you, for... For everything. And... I’m sorry. Also for everything.” Sammy spoke the last words slowly, trying to pack as much meaning as he could into it. “Also,” he added, getting a sudden urge to keep talking. “I do love you too. Always have, always will, no matter how hard you try to make me hate you,” Sammy finishes with a tentative smile, knowing she understood what he couldn’t say by the softness around her usually steely gaze.
He searched her face for a moment, knowing she was doing the same to him, suddenly seeing traces of Jack in her brown eyes and broad shoulders, seeing traces of the brusque, fiercely loyal, firecracker Lily he used to be so close with, and realizing she never left. Through her, he realized Jack didn’t either.
Comforted by this realization, Sammy raised an eyebrow at her and gave a half grin. “Y’know, everyone’s kinda been doing hugs tonight-”
“Don’t push your luck, Stevens,” She warned, back to her usual self as she placed her dishes in the sink. “I already busted my ass so that you could listen to tapes of your better half and get a well-needed reminder. Don’t be greedy,” Lily shut off the kitchen lights, walking around the counter and heading towards the couch. She paused though, obviously lost in thought, falling still for a moment before suddenly turning back to Sammy and tightly wrapping her arms around him. “We’re getting him back,” She murmured with absolute conviction, either a warning to the world, or an unbreakable promise for the two of them.
Sammy swallowed thickly, not trusting himself to speak, but holding on tighter to his re-found sister. They stayed like that for a moment longer, before breaking apart and furiously rubbing at each of their faces to dispel any traces of emotion. “Night, Sammy,” Voice muted, Lily gave him a two finger salute, walking back to the living room and sitting on her couch.
“Night, Lily.” Sammy knew his voice was scratchy, but he didn’t care. As he headed back in the apartment towards his room, he was once again struck by how different this night had been from his first in King Falls. Instead of being completely, painfully alone, he was surrounded by family who loved him, and instead of feeling a sense of bleakness, he found himself with the beginnings of hope in his usually aching chest. Lily was right- Jack had just given him a necessary reminder that he had forgotten for too long.
It was the first night in a while he could imagine his red comforter covering two people again.