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love, it is a fate resigned

Summary:

In the three months before he heads to Blackgate, Oswald is left completely bewildered by Ed’s intentions. Of course, he wants to believe all the sweet little interactions mean Ed feels the same way, but he refuses to make the same mistake again.

Notes:

I swear I’ll write a happy nygmobblepot fic one day. Anyway, Ed is being all early season 3-esque tenderness at Oswald and Oswald doesn’t know how to cope.

Also, I don’t know exactly where they’re living, but one of the manors or mansions that Oswald has historically hijacked probably.

Title is from love is a losing game by Amy Winehouse, since Gotham canonically decided Amy Winehouse was nygmobblepot music.

Note: I've anonymised this, because, honestly, as I move to new fandoms, I don't wish for old fandom association to haunt me, but I wish to retain control over the work. I've also added it to a series so that my two nygmobblepot fics are still linked, despite this!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

In those three months, Oswald once more ponders how he feels about Ed. They’re allies again, each other’s only true allies, they find, when their own efforts to save the city are ignored by nearly everyone else. Oswald is disappointed, but not surprised. At least he has Ed.

They’re together all the time again, and it’s oh so familiar to how it had been before he’d acted so foolishly and caused everything to go wrong. He’d become accustomed to a certain frostiness in their relationship when they finally did begin working with each other again in no man's land, and as much as it hurt, he understood it. There’d been too much painful history for them to ever be as warm with each other as they’d been before, or so he thought.

That barrier between them seems to thaw at some point while he isn’t paying attention. He notices it first after his eye injury, but he quickly stamps out the heat that blossoms in his chest a few hours later when he recalls the way Ed fussed over him there. In his mind, he chalks it up as a slip of memory in the intense situation, Ed briefly forgetting that there was now a line drawn between them that neither should cross.

The thing is, when Gotham is saved, and they can just part ways before they’re inevitably at each other’s throats once more, they don’t. Everyone else turns their backs on them, so they decide they’re stronger together, returning to being partners in crime, much to the GCPD’s distaste. Maybe others would find it ridiculous for Oswald to trust Ed like that again, but he himself knows that their relationship is strange and complicated; so many times, they’d had encounters that for anyone else would mark a point where they could never reconcile. It was different between them.

Before Oswald has noticed what’s happening, they’ve settled back into that easy rhythm they’d lost after doing all those awful things to each other. To call it confusing would be an understatement. They’re close again, Ed is his best friend again, but Oswald’s still not sure exactly where they stand. Ed is considerate towards him in a way he thought he’d never be again. Ed continues to cross that line. He’d been under the impression that while they’d be allies, friends even, they would never return to their previous closeness, but somehow, they have. Ed is giving him these fond little smiles, and asking him how his eye is healing, and it’s making it harder than usual for Oswald not to get his hopes up.

Another thing Oswald notices, is that Ed is being awfully touchy. He keeps resting his hand on Oswald’s shoulder when he doesn’t really need to, or absentmindedly laying a hand against his back. During his campaign and time as mayor, it hadn’t been uncommon for Ed to extend a comforting hand or for them to share a hug, but he thought those days were over, instinctive familiarity replaced with withdrawn iciness. The physical closeness is of course welcomed, it’s just strange that they can return to this after everything.

Oswald doesn’t let himself consider that maybe Ed returns his feelings, of course he doesn’t. Ed said it himself, he could never love someone like Oswald. Oswald’s grown talented at pretending he’s okay with that. It’s just sometimes when Oswald steals yearning glances at Ed, he catches Ed observing him as well.

They almost have a run-in with the GCPD, about one month after Gotham is reunified with the rest of the world, and the cops well and truly have it in for them. Ed is presented with a clear exit, one that he can take to ensure his safety, but not Oswald’s. Instead, Ed opts to find him first, rather than just acting to save his own skin. Oswald reminds himself that it’s likely borne from the fact he and Ed are collaborating and so need each other for success, and not company. However, Oswald is appreciating the company; he tries his best to curb the indistinguishable twist he feels deep in his stomach when it seems that maybe Ed is as well.

Okay, so sometimes, Oswald does indulge in the fantasy that all these little gestures are the result of Ed reciprocating his feelings. It gets hard to keep squashing the thoughts down when Ed is so frequently sending him all these little bewildering signals. He knows he can’t let his hope grow though, so anytime his mind wanders too much, he painfully reminds himself the fantasy is still just that. A fantasy. It’s never going to be more than a fantasy.

In fact, Oswald decides he happy with the way things are. Of course, he’d love for Ed to return his feelings, but he’s never going to so it’s for the best that he’s made peace with the prospect because Ed’s gentle little touches, comforting smiles, all the small moments of causal tenderness between them certainly could never mean that. It’d be a different story if Ed proved it wasn’t just friendliness and made a move but that’s not going to happen because (obviously) it is just friendliness. It’s a move Oswald, would love to make, but he can’t, because he’d truly be an idiot to fall for and in turn fall to the same man again, and the Penguin wasn’t an idiot.

One day, Ed accompanies Oswald to his mother’s grave, who he’d not had a chance to visit since the bridges had blown. He rubs soothing circles between Oswald’s shoulder blades when he bites back the tears and is considerate in a way that Oswald had thought he’d unlearned since becoming the Riddler. It seems that Oswald is the only one that still gets glimpses of any sort of graciousness, Ed remaining calculating and logical around everyone else.

Nevertheless, Ed’s once more found kindness towards him, that betrays the fact that he definitely does still have feelings despite what he likes to claim, also feels like a ticking timebomb. He relishes in the amiable nature of their relationship but the question of how long it’ll last rattles around in his psyche, Ed is too capricious to predict. It’s another reason he can’t get too comfortable within his own longing.

Things between them grow even more oddly intimate but it happens slow enough that Oswald doesn’t recognise it until one morning, when Ed marches into the dining room where Oswald is already residing. He’s almost ready, but his loose tie catches Oswald’s eye and before he’s cognizant of it, he’s up in Ed’s personal space, neatening it for him. Just after making the motion, as he’s about to withdraw, his movements stutter, hands hovering barely an inch from Ed; Oswald’s gaze slowly drifts up to meet his own unreadable expression. They hold each other’s attention, breath stilled, for what’s only a few seconds but feels far longer, before Oswald does pull away. The encounter lingers heavily in Oswald’s memory for the rest of the day, but neither of them brings it up.

Two months in, is when Oswald begins to consider that maybe, just maybe, it’s not a fantasy. One evening Ed insists on cooking a meal for the two of them. Him and Ed eating a meal together wasn’t unusual, however, Oswald has plenty of staff to do that sort of thing. Regardless, Ed is weirdly adamant about it and as they talk for hours in the dim candlelight, long after their food is finished, it feels suspiciously like a date. It’s just he can’t be sure. That’s not what it was labelled, and he’s not used to being pursued. He doesn’t know how to interpret Ed’s actions and that doubt is more than enough to deter him from ever being the one to confess.

Besides, it’s still unlikely and he’s still perfectly happy being just friends.

Clawing his way back to the throne of his criminal empire, with Ed at his side as his partner (in crime) is enough for him, they’re repeatedly evading the GCPD and when they’re not busy being criminals they’re mostly spending time together. When they don’t spend their time together, they ask each other how their days had been and listen attentively, not just to be polite but because they genuinely care.

It doesn’t seem fair, but unlike usual, not because fate is being cruel, but is being far too kind. Of course, all good things come to an end, and the good luck inevitably runs dry sooner rather than later.

Unsurprisingly, they’re together when the GCPD apprehends them. The officers are far too smug about finally bringing him in for Oswald’s liking, laughing when he stumbles into the back of the police van, because they pushed him and with his cuffed hands, he can’t properly steady himself. He of course doesn’t let them get away with it without hurling at them an abundance of violent threats. Ed glares daggers at them; then once they’re no longer being watched, assures Oswald is okay to the best of his ability while also cuffed. The rest of the ride, Ed grows increasingly frustrated that he’s unable to come up with a genius plan to get out while Oswald makes various snide comments about the GCPD, also stumped.

Oswald is sat grumpily glowering at any officer who passes by when Ed is ushered into the holding cell with him a few minutes later, and he takes comfort in the fact that at least he’s with Ed in the hostile environment. They hear something about Blackgate and Arkham, and despite his criminal prowess, Oswald is really starting to doubt that he has any chance of escaping a sentence this time. He’d at least expected Commissioner James Gordon to swing by the cage to say something, even if it’s just to subtly gloat. Instead, Jim catches his eye once while he’s dealing with something else, and then assumedly hands off the duty of dealing with them to some lesser officer, because apparently, they’re not even worth his time.

As Oswald sits there in that stupid little holding cell at the GCPD knowing where he’s headed for god knows how long, next to Ed, he glances up to his left. Ed glances back, expectantly.

“Ed, I,” Oswald begins, his softened voice faltering as he desperately tries to gather up the courage to say it.

“Yes, Oswald?”

He doesn’t resign himself to cowardice immediately, his mouth hanging open as he tries to muster up the words, before lightly shaking his head, and speaking quietly, “Nothing, I forgot.” It’s a weak-willed move, but there’s just too many things he’s uncertain of. He doesn’t think all the doubt will ever bleed out of him until Ed is the one to assure him himself.

Ed looks doubtful, almost disappointed, but remains silent.

Notes:

So, I like to think the reason Ed is not confessing to Oswald, is because he doesn’t know if Oswald would still want him like that after how it went last time. They’re both fools and one of them needs to bite the bullet and get on with the confession.

Update, from 2023, I did always want to write a future oneshot after the 10 years, which would be linked to this one, but I don't think I'll ever get around to it at this point, I just don't hold love for this show anymore like I once did, I'm very sorry! So word of god, I imagine when they meet up immediately after getting out, they confess to each other.

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