Chapter Text
Chapter One
Things were different after the apocalypse.
That was just the sort of trite obvious thing to say that Crowley hated. Of course things would be different after the apocalypse. The thing was, by definition, world-changing.
Only it wasn't supposed to be, not this time. The whole point of everything he and Aziraphale had done over the past eleven years was meant to prevent any major, apocalyptic-type things from happening to their beloved adopted home. And, with no real thanks to their dogged efforts, the world hadn't ended. Adam had saved them all.
That didn't mean there had been no changes though. Crowley supposed that ultimately change was the nature of Earth, but it wasn't generally within the realm of angels and demons. That was why Crowley was nearly beside himself with shock one day when he dropped by Aziraphale's bookshop and discovered the angel in state he had never seen him in before.
There was music playing in the shop. Music coming from the radio. Pop music. Customers were wandering the store with slight smiles on their faces as they glanced up from time to time at the normally withdrawn and excessively polite proprietor. And there was Aziraphale, walking among them, recommending titles, doing a strange slight wiggle to his hips, and....
“Are you wearing jeans?” Crowley had to ask, utterly flabbergasted.
Aziraphale stopped dancing abruptly and the music stopped with him, suggesting that the radio had only started playing in the first place from shear encouragement rather than from simply being turned on. The angel blushed furiously and quickly excused himself from the conversation he'd been having with a middle-aged woman.
“Um. Hello, Crowley,” he said hesitantly. “I, uh, didn't expect to see you today. Didn't you say something about going into town to do some shopping?” Aziraphale looked down awkwardly, but it didn't help any because now they were both staring at the bright blue jeans he was indeed wearing.
It wasn't that they looked bad. The jeans were clearly a designer brand and Aziraphale was wearing them with a tasteful tan cardigan. The problem was that the whole outfit looked so...twenty-first century. It had been millennia since Crowley had seen him look so modern. And then there was the music and the dancing and the encouraging customers to buy books.
“What in blazes has gotten into you?” Crowley burst out. “Have you been possessed?”
That made Aziraphale press his lips together in a firm line. “You needn't be so critical. I don't criticize the way you dress.”
“I seem to recall a number of comments on my tight trousers that would indicate to the contrary,” Crowley said dismissively, “but that's not my point. Since when have you ever willingly decided to dress down? Don't tell me you've been hiding casual Tuesdays from me for the last hundred years.”
Aziraphale opened his mouth then noticed that they were beginning to draw the attention of the nearby patrons. He made a frustrated sound then led Crowley to the back room.
“If you must know,” the angel finally explained, “I've decided to try some slight changes to my life.”
“Oh really?” Crowley quirked an eyebrow. “And what's brought this on?”
“The world nearly ended, my dear! Everything I care about was nearly destroyed in an utterly senseless war and I realized that I hadn't experienced nearly half the joys the Earth has to offer!” Aziraphale drew himself up with dignity. “I think a change of clothes is going to be the least of the changes you'll see around here. For a time at least.”
Crowley didn't know what to think. He certainly had a strange mixture of emotions stirring in his gut. Looked at objectively he realized that Aziraphale had been through quite a bit of stress lately. Fighting to save the world, discorporating, losing his bookshop, trying to kill a child, standing to face the devil himself, then deceiving both heaven and hell to avoid a nasty execution. All that was the sort of thing that took a toll on one. No wonder the poor angel was having a crisis. Crowley looked at him sympathetically.
“I get it,” Crowley said. “You've gone and gotten yourself traumatized.”
“What? Well, I don't know about that...”
“Shh.” Crowley pressed a finger to Aziraphale's mouth and did his best to ignore the lingering warmth of Aziraphale's lips. “It's alright. I think we're both entitled to a bit of traumatic fall-out at this point. We've both had quite the stressful week. I even lost my Bentley for a bit.” And you. I thought I lost you.
Alright, so it was a legitimate punch to the gut to think you'd lost your best friend of 6000 years, but Crowley tamped down on the thought anyway. The world wasn't ending anymore. No need to be getting all emotional about it. Instead... “Why don't we turn this whole trauma thing into a bit of fun? You're trying out new trousers and being a personable bookseller. I could try wearing colors that aren't black and, I don't know, scuba diving.”
“You could try being nice to your plants,” Aziraphale put in, seeing where this conversation was going.
Crowley grimaced at the thought, then considered things a step further. “I'll do it if you go to a restaurant and don't pay your bill.”
Aziraphale spluttered. “They work hard to give a satisfactory meal experience! I could only do that if you...spent some time entertaining the elderly.”
Now Crowley was outright grinning. “Then you'd have to leave rude comments on Youtube. After you figured out how to use it.”
“You'd have to run a marathon for charity!”
“You'd have to ruin someone's wedding day!”
“Adopt a puppy!”
“Kick a puppy!”
“Cook a meal for the homeless!”
“Commit fraud on your taxes!”
Aziraphale held a hand to his chest. “Well, let's not go too far, my dear. You know that I'm audited enough as it is.”
“Don't worry so much, angel. You're smart enough to commit some technical fraud without getting caught.”
The compliment made Aziraphale blush slightly, looking quite pleased with himself. “Be that as it may, I don't think I need an identity crisis on top of this 'trauma' as you put it. I simply want to experience a wider purview of what the world has to offer.” He gave Crowley a small, warm smile. “I'd be quite pleased if you would join me.”
Aziraphale always had the best smiles. Crowley would assume it was due to his angelic nature if he didn't know so many angels. In any case, Crowley was hardly going to say no in the first place, but that smile was definitely the bow on the top of the package.
“Alright, I'm game,” Crowley said. “We shall we do first, O Angel of Adventure?”
“Oh dear, I hadn't thought that far ahead.” Aziraphale thought for a moment. “Hold on, let me close the shop first. Then how about you teach me about this Youtube business?”
And that was the start of it. Their first step into a world of new-found and somewhat terrifying freedom. They were on their own side now, without heaven or hell to report to. It left both of them trembling and thrilled at the possibilities. They went scuba diving (without air tanks), climbed mountains, and explored caves (which was quite fun to do without the need for much light). Aziraphale learned more about the internet and bought quite a few things on Amazon before learning about some of the business's practices and then spent several months working on helping their employees unionize. Crowley tagged along for the chaos and had quite a bit of fun ruining executives' days.
The short of it was they had adventures and spent nearly every day together for a year. It was...fun. More than that. It made Crowley feel warm in a way he hadn't felt for millennia. And when he was able to be quite honest with himself, he had to admit that that warmth scared him. It was a strange thing that was at once new and, he suspected, quite old. He didn't know what to do with the feeling so he just squirreled it away into a corner of his subconscious and did his best not to think about it.
Then one day Aziraphale pressed the issue.
“So, what'll be today, angel?” Crowley asked over lunch. “Want to try robbing a bank? Committing vandalism? Taking all the free samples off the plate at the supermarket?” Aziraphale never went for his more hellish suggestions, but Crowley still enjoyed the flustered look on the angel's face whenever he brought them up.
“Actually, I was thinking of something closer to home for today,” said Aziraphale with a small smile. “I'd like to try sleeping.”
Crowley raised his eyebrows. “Not exactly the most exciting thing you've ever done, but I can't fault you. I've been telling you about the wonders of sleep for centuries now.”
"I know," Aziraphale agreed with a roll of his eyes. "It's one of those things I haven't been able to get you to stop talking about for all those centuries." He looked back at Crowley more fondly this time. "That's why I was hoping you could, well, show me how it's done!" He punctuated the sentence with an enthusiastic swish of his arm, looking very pleased with himself.
Crowley took it all in, enjoying Aziraphale's enjoyment as he often did, before he grinned wickedly and said, "So are you saying...that you want to sleep with me?"
And then....
THEN
The blasted, damnable angel didn't say no!
He snorted, coughed into his hand, and signaled the server for their check. Crowley watched him with confusion and then shock. This couldn't mean...Surely Aziraphale wouldn't....
But then again, things were different now in this post-apocalypse world. Perhaps, just perhaps, Azriaphale had always been curious in the way that, well, Crowley had always been curious. About...things. Intimate things that Crowley had never dared give a name to. Because sex was one thing. Crowley had done sex plenty of times. All in all it was alright. It was a great tool for tempting people and an even better prelude to an excellent nap (once he'd kicked the other person out). But sex with Aziraphale? That would be different. It would be an act between equals who understood each other and even liked each other. It would be...amicable.
Which was exactly why Crowley's heart was pulsing at an unusually high rate right now (on par with feeling like an earthquake in his chest). He was just taken aback by the amicable-ness of it all.
Crowley cleared his throat and did his best to seem casual. "So, um, just to be clear here, are you talking about..."
Unfortunately Aziraphale spoke at the exact same time. "I was thinking I could come by tonight at eight, which should give us plenty of time for preparation and any necessary explanations. Sound good? Excellent."
And with that Aziraphale was gone. Not just walking away, the bastard had miracled himself out of the restaurant! Crowley glared at the space the angel had occupied. Just what was going through his celestial head? Was he seriously propositioning him?
No. Crowley quickly shoved the thought away. Aziraphale did not proposition people. He didn't tempt or flirt or seduce either. No, this was all just a misunderstanding, obviously. He just wanted to try sleeping and wanted Crowley to show him the ropes ( Aziraphale and ropes...) so to speak. No, this would just be a bit of a sleep-over, a pajama party of two, a bit childish even.
And surprisingly, Crowley was alright with that. He didn't need to see Aziraphale trussed up in lingerie, eyes lolled back in pleasure, begging to be touched again...Alright so the image had some appeal, but it wasn't necessary. Instead Crowley just found himself looking forward to the company of his dearest friend. It was strange. They had spent so much time together lately, both in the past year and in the preceding decade with Warlock, and yet he still wasn't tired of spending time with the angel. Even a simple night in where they'd spend most of their time sleeping sounded nothing short of pleasant.
Crowley smiled and laughed softly at the realization. He was a demon who was not only going soft, but rather was like butter left on the counter overnight. Press into him and you'd leave a dent. The thought didn't bother him at all. After all, he had an eternity to be wicked. He'd get around to it again at some point.
He paid the bill (because of course Aziraphale would want him to) and got up to leave the restaurant. He had a chaste, sexually frustrating evening to get ready for.
What Crowley didn't know was that the whole time he was being watched by a very interested party, one who had much more wicked plans in store.