Work Text:
Prompt: “That’s irrational.”
“You know I really hate you for this.”
“Don’t really see why, you need a break from your workshop anyway. And maybe get around some people while you’re at it.”
Tony rolled his eyes at his best friend and took a sip of his soda. Ugh, being social was so overrated. Why couldn’t Rhodey see that Tony was fine being on his own like this? Sure, he really liked to hang out with his friends, but he also really liked his alone time too. Was that really so hard to understand?
And, okay fine, maybe Tony had been spending a bit more time by himself these last month, but so what? He’d had inventing sprees before and he’d been fine before. He had JARVIS who could order meals for him and Dum-E would make him smoothies or coffee and there was a couch there too in case he needed a nap. What more did he really need?
Rhodey took a bite of his burger, never once breaking eye contact with the stubborn genius. “Look, Tones, can I be real here for a sec?”
Tony shook his head. “I’d really rather if you didn’t, Platypus.”
Rhodey ignored him. “You’ve completely locked yourself away! I mean, it’s one thing when you’re wrapped up in your work and just forgets about everything around you-“
Tony scoffed and rolled his eyes. “And what makes you so sure that I’m not? I will have you know that I am so close to figuring out how to get my arc reactor technology to work for larger projects! Like, buildings and entire power grids! If I crack that, if would mean a whole new field in Green Technology and Stark Industries could go entirely green and ecofriendly, not to mention how many people would-“
Rhodey sighed and waved a hand at him, cutting him off mid-sentence. “Yes, yes and that’s all really great, you know I think it is. But the point is that I’ve barely seen you for almost a year, and closing yourself off like this and avoiding all human contact is just not good for anyone. And, to be honest, I’m worried about you.”
Tony waved a hand dismissively at his friend. “Oh you’re such a worrywart, Honeybear. I’m fine and you know it. I’m like a cockroach, I’m impossible to kill and I always make it out alright.”
Rhodey rolled his eyes and rested his chin in his hand, his elbow resting on the table. “Yeah, because me or Pepper drag you out of there, making you eat and sleep before you crash.”
Tony froze in his seat, for just one second reminded of why he had been locking himself away for a month. But he had long since perfected the art of not showing himself weak or at a loss, and so put on his usual, charismatic smile and hoped that Rhodey hadn’t caught that small moment of weakness.
“I am wounded, Rhodey! How can you have such little trust in me, after all that we’ve been through together, our years at MIT-“
Rhodey cut him off again. “Yeah, those years at MIT are exactly why I don’t trust you to take care of yourself. You are many things Tony; smart, resourceful, funny and a very good friend, but you have the self preservation of a banana fly.”
Tony placed a hand over his heart and gasped in mock hurt. “Honeybear, how can you talk about me like that, I thought we had something special.”
Rhodey smirked teasingly at him and munched on a few fries.
Rhodey had dragged him out to a local diner and forced him to have lunch with him, after having been in the workshop without break for almost a whole week. Tony had put up a fight, as much as he could against Rhodey’s superior strength, and whined and complained and made himself as obnoxious as possible so Rhodey would think he was too annoying, drop it and leave him alone to work in peace.
It hadn’t worked, obviously.
But Tony knew his best friend, just like Rhodey knew him too well. Rhodey had something else he wanted to say or talk about, and Tony had a feeling he knew what it was, but he wasn’t ready to talk about that. Not yet, and probably not ever.
But of course, Rhodey wasn’t one to avoid tough topics, at least as far as Tony was concerned, so when he cleared his throat pointedly, Tony knew what was coming.
“So… I thought about going out tonight; maybe get a few drinks and dance with Carol. You wanna come along? We’d both love to hang out with you, you know, it’s been forever.” Tony rolled his eyes with a low groan. ‘Here we go again.’ But still, there was a small chance that he could get Rhodey to drop the subject, so he tried to look as flippant as he could.
“Oh yeah, I love being the third wheel to my best friend and his girlfriend when they go out to drink and dance on a Saturday night. Gee Rhodey, it’s like you know me inside out.”
Rhodey smiled weakly, though it was probably supposed to look relax and spontaneous. Like Tony was supposed to believe that this was something he had come up with on the spot.
“Well, I’m sure we could find a date for you too if that’s a problem. I mean, you’re great at attracting handsome men and beautiful women; you’re downright charming when you want to be. In fact, I already know this girl; she’s one of Carol’s friends and is going to law school. She’s really cute and-“
‘Oh my God, really? Are we doing this?’ Tony rolled his eyes and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew that this would come up sooner or later, but God, why couldn’t it have waited a little? Or never.
He groaned and looked up at his friend, trying his hardest to be patient. “Rhodey, I told you I’m not dating anymore. It’s clearly not working out for me.”
“You’ve been with plenty of men and women before! What’s that they call you? Genius, Playboy Philanthropist?’ It’s not like you’ve never hooked up with anyone before, so what’s the problem now?”
Tony shrugged and took another sip of his soda. “Yeah but ‘hooking up’ and ‘dating’ are two very different thing. I can handle casual sex just fine, so long as we’re both aware that’s what we’re doing and there are no strings attached to anything then it’s all fine and good. But I’m done with dating other people. Casual sex is fine but no dating, no tying myself up to one person, no love.”
Rhodey looked at him incredulously. “You cannot be serious, Tony. You can’t give up on finding love because one relationship didn’t work out, that’s irrational. What are you afraid of?”
Tony stared at him for a second, then sighed and looked him straight in the eyes. ‘Fine then. If you want to go there Rhodey, fine, we’ll go there!’
“Oh, you think this is all about Pepper? You think that I’m so torn up about her that I’m swearing off dating? Oh-ho no, no I can handle one relationship not going the way I want them too. But it’s not just her; it’s literally every single relationship I’ve ever tried with anyone! They always turn out to be assholes, bitches or some poor soul who can’t handle me and all my broken parts and bad history. No one I date ever sticks around for me or want me for who I am, Rhodey. So why bother?
Rhodey suddenly looked at all sympathetically, and rather pityingly, which made Tony even more mad. He didn’t want Rhodey’s pity; he just wanted to drop it all.
“Aw, come on Tony, you shouldn’t let those assholes control your lives like that. You deserve to find love just as much as anyone else in the world, you shouldn’t let a few bad apples spoil the batch for you.”
Tony rolled his eyes again. He knew Rhodey cared and was just looking after him like the good friend he was, but the whole thing about dating had been really soured after so many bad attempts at find real love.
Emma Frost had been nice at first but eventually it became clear that she only liked him because of his money. And she was also from a wealthy family, and he had heard her talking shit about him behind his back, like mocking his mental health, his heart condition or his trust issues or daddy issues.
Adrian Killian had been very interested, almost obsessed with him for a while, and Tony was so starved for some kind of positive attention from someone other than his friends. But then Tony introduced him to Pepper and Rhodey, and Killian had suddenly started to obsess over Pepper and had left Tony in the dust and tried to flirt with her instead.
She had turned him down several times, of course, but still. Not a great feeling when your boyfriend starts mooning over your best friend.
Christine Everhart had also seemed interested at first, but once he started to open up to her and tell her more personal stuff, stuff about other dates and how he’d felt hurt by how most of them had turned out, she had run to the School Papers and written a story about it, as well as other secrets he had told her. Then she’d dumped him for being upset about it.
Justin Hammer had just been a dick that was trying to find ways to beat him by trying to be smarter or better at inventing and building things, which hadn’t hurt so much because he’d gotten the hint that Justin was a pathetic little bitch and had broken it off very quickly.
Sunset Bain had been manipulative and leeched of his money, asking for expensive dates and gifts and what-have-you despite not exactly being poor herself, just like Emma. And it had been revealed that she had been trying to steal blueprints and secrets from Stark Industries through him for her father, which she had succeeded at in the end. Jesus, he would never forget how mad Howard had been at him for that, or the beating it got him.
Tiberius Stone had been forceful and abusive and had pushed Tony into sex before he had been ready, and it also hadn't helped that he was a few years older than Tony so it had before he had been old enough to 'consent' to it. While it hadn't been rape, it was still too close for comfort, since Tony had more or less agreed so he would stop demanding or guilt trip him into doing as he wanted. After that incident Tony had overheard Ty making jokes about the whole thing and how 'Stark had cried like a bitch over it the whole thing, like sex is a big fucking deal' and that 'he should be glad to lose his virginity to someone like him since no one else would want to', and he had broken up with him on the spot. Well, after he had hacked into the school's computers and ruined his grades, outed him as a rapist to every one who’s opinion mattered and let Rhodey, and Pepper have their way with him. He hadn't really given his consent for the last one, but the information had made its way to him anyway and despite all of them getting detention for it, he felt good knowing his friends had his back.
And while Pepper was the first person he dated that wasn't an asshole or a bitch, it had just been made very clear that they weren't working out as a couple and worked better as friends, which they still were to this day. And it really said something about Tony's ability to judge people that Pepper- for a short time- was the only person he had dated that wasn't abusive or wanted stuff from him. Really, it seemed like Tony was a magnet for assholes, bitches and crazy people. Oh well, Tony guessed it was the price he had to pay to be awesome and from a rich and successful family.
So that’s seven. Seven attempted relationships that had all turned out bad, stretching all the way back from high school and all the way up till after he had graduated college. How is that even possible?!
Well, okay, Tony knew why. It was because he was Tony Stark: son of the Great Howard Stark, one of the biggest and richest men in the world and the greatest weapons builder, genius and businessman of his generation. And Tony had also built himself up as a genius and a handsome, charming and successful young man and was just building up his own future with his own company, focusing on creating new technology or things that might help people, like advanced prosthetics, his arc reactors that would change the world in the fields of green energy, programs that might help people work through trauma or bad memories or mental health.
So yeah, Tony knew he was successful and on the way making a big, strong name for himself as CEO of Stark Solutions, especially for a guy who hadn’t even hit twenty-five yet. But as a rich, handsome, intelligent and famous guy, it was only natural people would try to take advantage of to get their own fifteen minutes of fame.
But still, falling for it seven times? That is beyond pathetic.
Well, maybe six, since Pepper had never been that bad. But to try so many relationships and have them all blow up in his face again and again? To give his heart to someone else only to have it stomped on time and time again and be told that he wasn’t good enough or that was a wreck, or a wimp or whatever. To let someone in only to have them hurt him in the worst possible way?
He sighed and fought hard against the tears. He couldn’t take it one more time. If it happened again, he would probably break beyond repair.
“Look Rhodey, I know you just want me to be happy and all, but I have tried it before, several times only to have my heart stomped on and a knife shoved in my back six out of seven times. Pepper tried her hardest, but it hurt that one of my best and oldest friends couldn’t handle my-“ His voice cracked and Tony interrupted himself to clear his throat and pull himself together before he started crying or something equally humiliating.
“My issues.” He eventually finished, refusing to meet Rhodey’s eyes out of shame. He heard a despondent sigh, and then felt an arm around his shoulders as he was suddenly pulled into Rhodey’s arms.
“Oh Tony… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to poke at old wounds.” Tony nodded but stayed quiet. “It’s just… You know I love you, right? You’re like a little brother to me Tony and I want you to be happy, and you’re not. Not really. I mean, I hardly recognize you anymore. There’s very little left of that snarky, passionate little guy that I met that first year at MIT. The kid who was fearless and snarky and driven and wanted to live life to the fullest and wasn’t afraid to slip up or crash and burn if it meant learning all he could. It’s like you’ve forgotten how to be… you. And I miss you.”
Tony looked away and down at the floor, blinking hard to get rid of the tears.
Rhodey’s grip around him tightened slightly and ruffled his hair comfortingly.
“And I’m not saying you need to date to be happy, but it’d be a start, or even an idea. And just because you’ve had a lot of bad luck with dating before doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to find someone special.”
Tony took a deep, somewhat shaky breath and licked his lips. “I can’t Rhodey. I can’t do it again.” Because how many times can a guy take having his heart broken before it becomes broken beyond repair? How many times can a nice girl or sweet guy turn around and turn out to be a complete asshole on you before you learn to take the hint and realize you can’t trust them?
And just how cautious would one have to be with dating anyway? Where did Tony need to draw the line before deciding a second date was okay? How would he know who was decent and who was a sheep in wolf’s clothing?
“What do you mean, ‘how cautious do you need to be’?” Tony froze. Had he said that out loud? “Look, normally I would be all for being careful with strangers and all, but don’t you think you’re being just a tiny bit… um, paranoid?”
Tony jerked his head up and away from Rhodey’s shoulder and glared at him, no hints of teasing or light fun because this was not something Tony was kidding about. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? What, you think I should throw myself at anyone and just see what happens, huh?”
Rhodey’s eyes widened and shook his head, clearly realizing his mistake but Tony wasn’t about to let it go that easily. “Wha- no, no, that’s not what I-“ Tony cut him off, growing more and more angry and hurt by the second.
“And paranoid, really? Is it paranoid to be worried who’ll lie and manipulate you until all your secrets are out in the open for the world to see or read about? Is it paranoid to be afraid that some other asshole will abuse and use you sexually against your will?” Tony got up from his seat and planted his hands on the table, leaning over Rhodey and staring him down. “Tell you what Rhodey, when you’ve had your heart stomped on and been used and abused by every single person you’ve dated, then we can chat about being fucking paranoid!”
Tony grabbed his bag, threw the few couple of bills he had brought with him on the table to tip the waitress and pay for his half-eaten meal before storming towards the doors of the restaurant and left in a huff, ignoring Rhodey calling after him to ‘wait, stop’ and ‘Tony, I didn’t mean it like that’.
Tony didn’t really know this neighborhood very well, it was somewhere in Brooklyn that he had never been in before. But at the moment he wasn’t heading anywhere specific, he just stomped down the street, angry and hurt and somewhat betrayed by what Rhodey had said.
‘How dare he call him paranoid? Who is he to tell him how to feel about everything he’s been through? He had been there when Tony found out about Sunset’s mind games, when Tony called him in the middle of the night, hysteric with tears and asking for a ride home after having been raped by Ty! And he was telling Tony he needed to get over it and get back in the dating game again!’
Because while Pepper had hurt him badly, however unintentionally, Ty had been the one who had left the deepest scars in him. The guy had acted like he cared so much, had treated Tony like a prince for months, had been sweet and cuddly and strong and protective and made Tony feel so special. Only to become possessive and abusive, had tried to cut Tony off from his friends and eventually push and pressure Tony into sex before he was ready.
How do you trust anyone after being used and abused like that?
But deep down, Tony knew that Rhodey was right.
When they had met in college, Tony had been driven and witty and full of energy. He wanted to learn everything and had a thousand ideas for projects and wanted to do everything at once. He had been reckless, fearless and Pepper and Rhodey had been forced to rein him in or carry him home after a party. But with time, slowly but surely Tony started to rein himself and became more and more cautious and introverted. While he remained as charming as ever whenever he needed to be, which was vital when you were business man, he never went out of his way to meet new people unless it was for a quick romp in the sack with no strings attached. Which inevitably led to him getting the title of Playboy and was described as ‘not boyfriend material’ by the Press and Media, but hey, that was just what he wanted so who was he to complain?
Still, he could understand that Rhodey wanted to help him and bring out that old Tony that he knew back in college, but Tony wasn’t sure that old Tony was still there. He might have died some time after he had broke up with Ty.
Tony sighed and sat down at a bus stop, resting his head in his hands.
Yeah, he missed those carefree days too. Those days when he had passion and drive and a lust for life. When he had been fearless and outgoing and not burying himself with nothing but work 24/7, which was where the only place he found any engagement or passion in these days.
So he had thriving business and bank account but absolutely nothing else to show for it. No family, no love or affection and little to no friends. And even that wasn’t much, since Pepper was an even bigger workaholic than he was and Rhodey was away most of the time with the Air Force. And no one to share his life with.
Oh, how Tony might long for something akin to true love, or at least someone he could share his life with. He had dreams of finding someone, someone who was caring and sweet and honest and who wanted to be with him, not Howard Stark’s son or the CEO Stark Solutions or Tony Stark the rich and successful. Someone who loved him for all of his faults and ugly parts and bad history and issues drenched in issues and wanted to stay with him despite of them.
Someone who loved him for him.
But finding someone like that would mean to open himself up to the world again. To show himself vulnerable and naked before someone’s judgement again and hope it wouldn’t leave him heartbroken again. And that he just couldn’t do. Not again.
Because what if they turned out to be another asshole, or gold digger or lying dickface who just wanted to cash in on his money or fame or success? Someone after the things he had to give rather than who he was and what he could give that didn’t involve money or fame? And once they had gotten what they wanted, they would leave him broken and hurt once again to lick his wounds and try to piece his heart back together again.
Or worse… what if they were good? What if Tony did meet someone, someone who turned out to be everything he wanted? Someone who was good, who treated him well and made his heart flutter and he could lower his defenses around. What would he do then? Sure, he had been able to do it alright around Pepper, but she had known him since high school, so she didn’t count. And even then she hadn’t been able to handle all of it anyway, so it’s not like it really mattered. But Tony had never had a relationship where he felt like that and it had worked out, so if someone actually did turn out to be good, how would he deal with that? What if that person would make him open himself and he wouldn’t be able to close himself off again?
To be really honest that thought scared him way more than the idea of getting his heart broken again. At least that he had learned to deal with well enough at this point, but being loved? Actually, genuinely loved by someone who was better than decent?
Tony shuddered. No, he wouldn’t know how to handle that.
A horn honked, loudly and it made Tony jump and look up to see that a bus had stopped in front of him and the driver was glaring at him, annoyed and frustrated and spoke with a thick Brooklyn accent. “’Ey pal, you ridin’ or what?”
“Uh, no?” Tony said, more than aback than angry at the attitude he was given. ‘It’s New York pal, what were you expecting? You’ve really been locked up in the house for too long.’ he scolded to himself.
The guy rolled his eyes, muttered “whatever asshole” closed the doors and started to drive off. Tony rolled his eyes too. Seriously what were people’s problem? Sure, it New York but was there any need to a jerk every single second of the day?
But the bus made him remember that he needed to find his way back home soon, so he took out his phone to find what buses or subways he needed to take to get back home, when he heard someone running and yelling up the street.
“Hey, wait!” A guy came running down the street, waving and hollering at the bus top stop, only for the driver to ignore him and flip him the bird as he drove away. The guy groaned, frustrated and angry and ran a hand through his hair.
“Ugh, fuckin’ asshole! He saw me, he fuckin’ saw me an’ he snubbed me! This never happen’d in Boston.”
‘Hm, so we have a pure-bred Brooklynite here.’ Tony mused to himself when he heard the guy’s accent.
He glanced up from his phone and paused for a second when he got a good look at the guy. And hellooo Adonis, the guy was seriously built, had a body that would make a bodybuilder jealous and beautiful windswept, blonde hair and big, baby blue eyes. He looked hot and yet sweet at the same time, All-American in a way.
He looked so hot!
‘Yeah, so did Tiberius and look how that turned out.’ That traitorous part of his brain reminded the more lustful part before it could go too crazy and he immediately stomped those feelings down and looked back down to his phone. But he had never quite learned how to turn his mouth off so before he knew it, he said,
“Yeah, I hate it when that happens.”
That was a lie. Tony had never been one to ride buses, he’d always been driven somewhere or- after he gotten his license- driven himself wherever he needed or wanted to go. Come to think off it, he’d probably never ridden a bus in his whole life. But it had seemed like a good thing to say.
The guy looked over at him, groaned again and then sat down beside him on the bench and ran his fingers through his blonde hair again. He then looked over at Tony and down at his phone. “You know when the next one comes?”
Tony glanced up from his phone, raised a suspicious eyebrow before looking after at the timetable. “What, you can’t read the timetable?” If being a New Yorker meant being a dick to avoid being screwed over was commonplace, might as well act the part. Plus, he probably looked like a rich asshole anyway, with his fancy clothes, shoes and stuff; he might as well make the guy think he was one. Might get him to leave, stay quiet or at least make his brain stop going on about how hot he was.
The guy groaned at him, frustrated, before getting up and looking over the timetable, before groaning again and sat back down. ‘So, not good then.’ Tony mused and smirked a little, hoping the guy didn’t see it. ‘Sucks to be you.’
But then again, it wasn’t like Tony was in a better place. It was a long way back home from here and he really didn’t want to take the bus or subway at this time of day, it would have to be packed. But oh well, that was fine, he would just call a taxi and be home in-
Oh for fuck’s sake! Rhodey hadn’t given him time to grab his wallet before dragging him out of his workshop and out to lunch, insisting it should be his treat. He had only allowed Tony to change into a clean shirt and nicer jeans and he had only been able to grab a few ten-dollar bills to tip the waiter, which he had already left at the restaurant. So he had no money on him to pay a taxi or even a ticket for the bus or subway.
Wonderful. Fan-fucking-tastic.
‘Guess this is Karma for thinking asshole-things to strangers.’
Tony resisted the urge to groan or swear out his frustration and started to search through his bag for any bills he might have missed or maybe something he could bribe someone with to get a ride back home. Had Tony been the least bit rational he might have swallowed his pride, called Rhodey, apologize for blowing up at him and ask for a ride home, since he was the one who drove them here. It was what a truly smart person would do.
But Tony wasn’t rational and had too much stubborn pride to call his friend and ask for a ride after how he had blown up at him earlier. Also, had already ignored the calls from his friend up till this point, and he wasn’t about to answer now only to ask for a ride and admit that storming out of a restaurant and run off in a part of the city that he didn’t know very well probably wasn’t very smart.
‘No way Jose, that is so not happening. I’ma let him stew a little, let him worry. That’ll teach him who’s the paranoid one’
Had Tony mentioned that he probably wasn’t very rational?
He sighed and closed his bag. No luck on any bills magically showing up and he hadn’t brought anything worth enough to by a ticket with. And he wasn’t wearing a watch that he could pawn either. And judging by the map on his phone, it was at least twelve miles from here to his house on Manhattan. Not very long to drive, but pretty long to walk.
‘Oh well, what choice do I have?’ Tony got up from his seat and started to walk, only for Big, Blonde and Beautiful to call out after him,
“Hey, are you lost?” Tony turned to look over his shoulder at him. He looked a little concerned, any annoyance or frustration he had earlier gone.
Tony rolled his eyes as subtly as he could, turned to him with a smirk that was only a little cold. “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. What’s it to you, pal?” He turned away started to walk again, only to hear him call out again:
“You need directions?” This Tony only looked over his shoulder at him. He had no interest in talking to hot guys at the moment.
“No.” Yes. He had his map on his phone, but actual directions might not be so bad at the moment. But, again, Tony wasn’t very rational and had a very strong pride and was still pissed from his and Rhodey’s talk at the restaurant, so stubbornly kept walking down the street and followed the map.
According to Google, a walk from Brooklyn to Manhattan took about three hours and ten minutes, and Tony had- of course- not taken he best shoes for a long walk today, but if he were lucky maybe he could flirt his way to a ride home when he’d cooled off a little. But he’d barely made it a down the street before he heard someone run after him and for a second he thought Rhodey might caught up with him and was ready to tell him to fuck off, when he heard Mr. Blonde call after him.
“Hey, wait up!” He rolled his eyes. What was this guy’s deal, couldn’t he take a hint? If Tony wasn’t so pissed at the moment, maybe he would be somewhat impressed by this guy’s stubbornness, but he was pissed and wasn’t in the mood to talk- isn’t that a first, he could barely keep quiet when he was alone- so didn’t even spare the guy a glance when he caught up with him and started walk beside him.
‘Don’t look at him, Tony.’ He told himself, eyes locked straight ahead and head held high. ‘Don’t encourage him. Keep your answers short and few and he’ll loose interest.’
“Hey, come on, let me help. I know my way around here, I can give directions if you need it.”
“Not interested.” Tony said curtly, still not even glancing at the guy.
“Are you sure? I mean, no offense or anything, but you don’t exactly look like you’re from around here and I thought you might need a little help?”
“No thank you.” Tony cursed himself after the words left his lips. ‘Don’t say thank you, moron! You don’t say thank you to someone you want to get rid off. Don’t be afraid to be rude to a stranger.’
Blonde Hercules hesitated and didn’t say anything for a minute or so, but he kept following Tony down the street. ‘Fine.’ Tony thought with a mental shrug. ‘Maybe he needs to got his way too or something. Just don’t acknowledge him.’
There were a few minutes of blissful silence- or as quiet as it ever gets in New York- before Adonis looked back at him again. “Where are you going anyway?”
‘What is this guy’s deal? Is he blind, deaf and just all-around stupid? Or is he a stalker, or a rapist, waiting for them to come across some dark alley, drag me in there and steal his stuff and have his way with him?’
‘Well, jokes on him then, I’ve learned enough self-defense to deal with big boys.’
“Monte Ne.” He said, bordering on snapping at him and still refusing to look at him. But the guy just smiled and chuckled a little.
“Arkansas, huh? Sounds like a long walk.” Tony bit his cheek, keeping himself from smiling back at the mildly funny joke, but side-eyed him for a second.
“Yeah, it could take a while, wouldn’t want to tire you out so you can leave.” He made sure to keep his voice cold and unemotional, hoping he would finally take the hint and leave, but the guy just smiled.
“Well, if you plan on walking all the way to Arkansas, across several states, someone should probably make sure you get there okay, right?”
What the hell?
Tony stopped short and the guy almost tripped over his feet when he tried to stop and take a step at the same time. “Okay, seriously, what is your deal? Can you not take a hint? Leave me alone!”
The guy looked a little taken aback by Tony’s reaction, but then his eyebrows narrowed slightly and placed his hands on his hips. “Hey, I’m sorry, I’m only trying to help. If you’re actually lost-“ Tony cut him off.
“I am not lost! I have a map and I can make it home just fine without help, thank you very much. Now kindly fuck off and go harass someone else.” With that, Tony turned on his heel and started to walk down the street in a huff.
“You don’t have money, do you?” Tony halted and turned to look at him. “I mean, you’re dressed nicely and it all looks expensive, but you don’t have the money to pay a taxi or a bus? I figured something was up.”
Tony eyed suspiciously and raised an eyebrow at his earnest voice. What was this guy’s game? He was acting all nice and helpful but people always had some kind of endgame with good deeds. He must be after something, and even if he wasn’t, wasn’t Not Trusting Strangers something most people teach their kids very early on?
But despite his suspicions Tony found himself nodding and his shoulders slumped a little. “It’s been a rough day.” It was all he said, but the guy’s eyes widened in understanding.
“Yeah, you look it.” He stepped up, easy smile and earnest eyes. “Can I treat you to a coffee? You look like you need it.”
Tony raised his eyebrow a little higher and crossed his arms over his chest. “Didn’t you have some place to be?”
The guy shrugged, his smile widening a little. “Nah, I just wanted to get home from work. But I’m in no real hurry or anything. Come on, what do you say?” Suddenly he looked a little unsure, like he was suddenly worried Tony would yell in his face and storm off again.
Tony considered his offer. He didn’t know this guy, had no idea what his intentions were or what he wanted from him, but he also had this air of kindness and seemed to genuinely want to help him. But considering Tony’s track record of judging people he probably wasn’t the best person to ask.
But he had offered a coffee- Tony’s kryptonite- and Tony suddenly felt very drained and tired so maybe a nice free coffee would help a little with his nerves. Plus, the guy was either a good actor or he had no idea who Tony was, so maybe he wasn’t after any money and just thought he was a stupid, rich kid who had gotten himself lost in Brooklyn with nothing on him.
Yeah, why not? If only for the free coffee and a chance to cool off a little. He sighed and tried for a very small smile. “Okay.”
The guy smiled wider. “Great!” He reached out his hand. “My name is Steve Rogers, by the way.”
Tony looked down at his hand, up at him, smiled a little wider and took it. “Tony Stark.”
As it turned out, Steve was surprisingly easy to talk to. After he had brought Tony to this warm, cozy little coffee shop and bought some coffee and a sandwich- Tony had not asked for any food but he had only eaten half a burger and some fries today so he was not going to complain- they had started to talk and Tony had found he was very easy to talk to.
He had told him that he had been out to lunch with a friend until they’d had a fight and he had stormed off in anger, he had realized he’d given the little money he had as pay for his half of the lunch and some tips, leaving him without any means to get home on his own.
Though he left out the part of all his bad relationships.
“I don’t know, I guess I’m just being stupid ignoring him like this, but I really, really don’t want to talk to him right now. Though I have no way of getting home aside from walking, which is like, three hours away.” He sighed and took a sip of his coffee. “Serves me right for being stupid. And impulsive… and stubborn.”
Steve smiled wryly and sipped on his own coffee. “Yeah, I admit putting your pride above getting home safely is probably not the smartest thing to do. But I also have a habit of being stubborn so I can’t really blame you and I can also understand being mad at a friend for being nosy.” He chuckled mirthlessly. “Believe me, I know how you feel.”
Tony looked up at him, suddenly curious but stopped himself seconds before asked. ‘Dick move, Tony. You have your personal history, this guy has his.’
Steve, however, must’ve seen Tony’s curious face and rested his elbows on the table, cradling the cup in both his hands. “I had this girlfriend, until a few months ago. My friends have been on my back for weeks now, trying to make me go out to parties or pubs with them. They say they just want to hang out, but I know they’re just gonna try to convince me to start dating again. They just don’t get that I’m not ready or up for dating at the moment.”
Tony rolled his eyes with a small, humorless chuckle. “You too, huh?”
Steve smiled at him. “I guess it’s silly. I mean, it’s been months since I broke up with Sharon, but I just don’t really feel up for dating. I mean, when you’ve tried dating for years and every time you try it ends up not working out, you’re not exactly in the mood to try again.”
Tony snorted and rolled his eyes again. “Tell me about it. I’ve tried dating so many times and every time I ended up with it blowing up in my face.” He froze. What had possessed him to admit that? He’d known this guy for about an hour, why was it so easy to tell him things Rhodey had to pry out of him?
Steve looked up, his turn to look curious. Tony made a face of nonchalance. “Kinda the same story, really. I dated this girl, a long time friend, and it just didn’t work out. And after years of relationships not working out, I just don’t feel up for it anymore.” He shrugged and took a bite of sandwich. “Saves me the heartache.”
Steve nodded understandingly and sighed. “Yeah, I get what you mean. Sharon and I have been co-workers for years and I thought we could really work out and be good to each other. For a time I honestly thought ‘She’s the one! She’s the woman I’m going to marry.’ but then she told me that she didn’t see us working out. She told me she had met this girl and more or less realized she was a lesbian and not bisexual like she had thought for a while. I didn’t get angry or anything, it’s not her fault for realizing her sexuality, but…” He sighed and looked down into his cup. “It still hurts, you know.” He both looked and sounded like he was fighting back tears.
Tony looked at him compassionately and wanted to pat him on the shoulder or hand or something, if only to help a little. But he refrained himself from doing so, and instead said, “Yeah, I thought Pepper was The One for me too. We’ve known each other since forever and she’s one of my best friends and a big reason why I’m still alive today. But I think we both realized we were better suited to be friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. She couldn’t really handle the stress of my-“ He cut himself off. The guy was easy to talk to, sure, but not enough for Tony to be comfortable to share everything with him. Not yet.
So instead he said, “My hobbies.” hoping Steve hadn’t noticed the small pause. Steve snorted and looked up again.
“Sucks.” Then he smiled. “But you’re still friends?” Tony nodded with a smile.
“Oh yeah. I was worried we wouldn’t be able to stay friends at first, but we both have known each other for so long and cared too much about each other to stop being friends. I have my own company and she’s technically my PA, so we see each other almost everyday. We couldn’t not stay friends and also work that close to each other. She pretty much runs my life, I couldn’t have her quit because of a failed relationship.”
Steve nodded understandingly again and rested his head in his hand. “Well, that’s good for you. Sharon and I are kinda awkward around each other still. I mean, I have no problems with people being gay or lesbian, I have dated guys before, it’s not an issue for me. But I kinda wish we could be friends again.”
“Have you tried talking to her about it? I mean, Pepper and I kinda tiptoed around each other before we finally started to talk about it and realized we both still wanted to be friends. Maybe you need to talk to Sharon about it too?”
Steve sighed heavily. “I’ve tried, but it just never feels like we’re on the same page.” He chuckled, a bit embarrassed. “I have always been a more confrontational about things and I guess I pushed her a little hard to figure out what she wanted from me. Did she want me to leave or be her friend or what? I think I just ended making her feel really uncomfortable around me.”
He chuckled again, this time a bit sadly. “Story of my life I suppose. You make friends, try to take it a step further and when it inevitably turns out to not work out, it’s all awkward and you lose a good friend.”
Tony shrugged with a wry smirk. “Hey, you should count yourself lucky. Aside from Pepper, everyone I’ve ever dated has turned out to be assholes. Like, every single one of them.“
Steve looked at him skeptically; one eyebrow raised and his mouth a straight line. “Everyone? No way, no one has that much bad luck.”
Tony shrugged with a smirk. “I do. Believe me, I do. I swear, I have the worst luck with dating than anyone in the history of dating.”
Steve snorted and shook his head. “Trust me, you don’t.”
‘Challenge accepted.’
Tony rested his head in both his hands and smirked challengingly at Steve. “Try me.”
Steve smirked back with a smile that also said ‘Challenge accepted’ and leaned forward, arms and elbows resting on the table. “Okay, so a few years ago I dated this other girl, Wanda. She was really nice and fun at first and also kinda crazy, but the right kind of crazy. Like, the one who’ll do weird stuff and not feel embarrassed about it and can laugh at herself. And she was also caring and sweet and I fell fast for her.”
“Then, as we got more and more serious in our relationship, she started to act weird. She’d get clingier and whenever I talked to my friends she would ask about who I was talking to and- because I was openly bisexual- she wouldn’t let me hang out with any of my friends unless she came with. And she didn’t really like my friends that much. When I went out one day with a few guy friends to have a few beers and watch football at a local bar, she went berserk and tried to drag me back to our apartment and also tried to hit me. That’s when I finally decided to dump her and throw her out of my apartment. I knew she had a really rough life with her dad and apparently her twin brother died a few years earlier. I don’t like to throw around terms like ‘mental health’ without cause or good reason, but I think she had abandonment issues or something. I’m glad I got out before it got worse.”
Tony covered his mouth to stop himself from snorting and Steve laughed a little at his failed attempts to hide it. “Okay, that’s bad, but it’s nothing compared to Christine.”
“We met in high school and she would act all sweet innocent and like she cared a lot about me. And she managed to weasel into my brain and heart and I told her everything on my heart whenever I felt bad, only for her to write about it in our school paper and would mock all of it openly.”
Steve winced and drew back a little. “Ouch. That had to sting.” Tony nodded but shrugged nonchalantly.
“I wish I could say I got the satisfaction of dumping her but she beat me to it, when I was still reeling from realizing what she had done. She told me that she wanted a ‘real man’ and not such an emotional pussy.”
Steve’s face scrunched up. “Yikes. How old were you?”
Tony bit his lip as he tried to remember. “Um… I dunno, maybe fourteen? I skipped a few grades in high school, so she was sixteen. She was also one of my first ‘real’ girlfriends so I wasn’t exactly well versed in how to deal with these things.”
Steve winced again and shook his head, somewhat horrified. “Oh my God, I am so glad to be out of high school. Christ, what a nightmare.” Tony laughed.
“Oh yeah. You’d think people would realize that most of people’s mental issues come from high school.” Steve huffed in agreement, then smirked again.
“So yeah, that was a doozy, but I think I got you beat.”
Tony raised his eyebrows in mock skepticism. “Oh you do, do you? Tell me more.”
Steve nodded. “I started dating this guy my senior year of high school, Brock Rumlow. We were both on the football team in high school and started going to the same college and we started dating a few months before graduation. I thought he was great and a stand-up guy, but then I learned that he had been a real, big bully back in high school, beat up smaller kids to get them to do their homework and had the gall to act like a great guy in front of teachers. And he kept doing it in college, which really pissed me off as well as broke my heart. So I dumped him, but not before I gave him a piece of my mind.” He cracked his knuckles threateningly but also with a glint in his eyes, which made Tony laugh.
“And I’m sure it was a long, serious talk between two mature college students.” Steve laughed back at him.
“Of course, what do you take me for? I’m not a brute.” Tony chuckled and, in the warm cozy light of the small coffee shop and with this kind and friendly stranger, suddenly all his previous horrible dates just didn’t seem so bad as they had when he was alone and wallowed in his self-pity.
So it suddenly felt so easy to say, “I still got you beat. I had a real douchebag of a boyfriend in college. He leeched of my money and more or less manipulated and abused me to get his own way. He dragged me to parties for people way older than me when I was sixteen and he was twenty one, he introduced me to alcohol and pressured me into things that I really didn’t want to.”
Steve narrowed his eyes, partly suspicious and partly nervous. “What kind of things?” He asked it very warily; like he had an idea that he knew what Tony meant and didn’t want to hear the answer.
Tony looked him straight in the eyes, his expression serious and only said, “Things I was legally too young to consent to.”
Steve’s eyes widened and fell back against the back of his seat, horrified and suddenly pale as a ghost. “Jesus Christ… What an asshole. Did he get caught?”
Tony smirked wickedly. He was blown away by how easy it suddenly was to talk about Ty and actually smile about it, even if it was a wicked one. “Oh yeah. He was outed as a rapist, his grades were ruined and he’ll never get anywhere impressive in life due to this information being public.” He shook his head with a small smile. “Quite a surprise it happened really, it just came right out of thin air.”
Steve smirked back but he still seemed horrified by this information. “Jesus, Mary and Joseph…” He whispered to himself and took a sip of his coffee. He took a deep breath. “Glad to know he got what he deserved.” Then he tried to smile.
“But it’s nice to know I’m not the only one in the world who’s terrible at dates.”
Tony barked out a small laugh and raised his coffee mug in a toast. “A toast to the single life. Because what’s the use in trying to date if it’s just gonna end hurting you in the end?”
Steve’s smile widened and tapped his mug against Tony’s. “Hear, Hear.” They both took a swig of their coffee and shared a laugh over their inability to find good dates. Steve’s smile then faded a little and he looked down at the table again.
“I just wish my friends would back off a little. I get that they wanna help me and want to see me happy and all, but if I ever want to meet someone special, date and maybe start a serious relationship with them, I’d want to choose it for myself and not feel pressured into it.”
Tony nodded. “Yeah, me too. I know both Rhodey and Pepper want me to be happy, but I just don’t want to feel forced to be happy. And to be honest, I just don’t seem to understand the whole… love thing. It’s just so confusing and unpredictable. Math and science is so much easier to understand.”
Steve stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “You’re not serious, are you?”
Tony laughed. “No, I am. But what I mean is math, whether you like it or not, have rules to follow and formulas to understand. You learn the rules and formulas and the rest is easy.” Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes and Tony smacked him on the arm with a smirk. “Oh shut up, it is. And I work with machines, and they are also easy to figure out. People on the other hand, nevermind love? I just don’t get it.”
Steve dropped the teasing smile and nodded. “Yeah, I see what you mean. Whenever I’ve fallen in love I’ve tried my hardest to please and impress and make my significant other happy, but I probably just ended up looking like an idiot.” Tony nodded and drank some more coffee.
“Yeah, that’s why I’ve sworn off dating. At least for the time being. I’ve tried love and see where it gets me and I’ve always ended up hurt. I might try it again someday, but for now I’d rather just focus on my work and hanging out with friends and stuff like that. I mean, love is overrated anyway, right?”
Steve smiled. “Totally. I mean, I’ve been on this earth for twenty-six years and have survived without a boyfriend or girlfriend and the world hasn’t ended yet. I figure I’ll be alright in the future without one. For now I’m just glad to be rid of the frustrations that love brings.”
“You and me both, buddy.” Tony smirked and emptied his cup and looked down at his watch. And wow, they’d been talking for hours now. It was getting late and it was probably time to head home soon. And he had an idea that when he looked at his phone it would have been bombarded with missed calls and messages from Rhodey.
Steve looked over at him. “You need to get home?” Tony nodded and started to get up, taking the last of his sandwich and wrapped it up in a few napkins.
“It’s getting late. I should probably also call Rhodey and tell him I’m not dead or kidnapped. Plus, it’ll get dark soon and I’d rather get home sooner rather than later.” Steve nodded and got up too.
“I can wait with you, at least until your friend comes and gets you. You know, just in case.” Tony smiled gratefully and they left the coffee shop.
It had, indeed, gotten darker outside and the air was chillier. Tony dialed up Rhodey’s number and had to keep it a bit away from his ear when Rhodey picked up and started yelling straight into the phone. “Where the hell have you been, asshole? I’ve been worried sick and looking all over for you! You can’t just run off like that and not tell me where you’re going, especially without money to get back home!”
Something to remember; Tony hadn’t even gotten a chance to say ‘Hi’ yet.
When Rhodey finally calmed down enough to stop yelling, Tony told him where he was and Rhodey quickly said that he was on his way before hanging up without another word.
Steve looked at him warily. “Is your friend very mad?” But Tony just rolled his eyes and shrugged with a smirk.
“Eh, he’ll get over it. It’s hardly the worst thing I have ever done to worry him. He’ll be fine.” Steve didn’t look entirely convinced, but before he could harp on it, Tony turned to him with a more genuine smile.
“Thank you for this, Steve. It was really nice to vent a little. You’re very easy to talk to, you know.” Steve’s worried frown turned into a genuine smile, the light from the street lamps shining in his eyes.
“Yeah, you too. It’s nice to talk to someone who doesn’t judge for being bad at dating. Or, just someone new to talk to period.” He suddenly looked a bit bashful and looked down at his shoes. “Would you… um, would you like to do it again sometime? I mean, meet up for coffee or something? To talk some more?”
And Oh My God, he looked like such a puppy when he was nervous. Tony smiled and took a small step closer. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Steve’s lightened up again. “Yeah? How about this Saturday 2pm?” Tony smile’s widened, grabbed the napkin he had wrapped his sandwich and a small pen, scribbled down his number and gave it to Steve.
“It’s a non-date then. Text me about a place or where to meet?”
Steve looked down at the napkin in his hand, up at Tony again with wide, round eyes and then smiled teasingly. “So, you’ll actually let me call you? You didn’t sound to interested earlier today.” Tony smirked back and stepped closer.
“It means if you call I might answer. If you’re lucky.” Steve smiled, then ripped off a piece of the napkin, took Tony’s pen and scribbled down a number of his own that he gave to Tony.
“Swell. Text me when you get home, just so I know you’re okay?”
‘Swell.’ How cute is that? How is a guy like this even real?
Tony smiled and nodded. “Yes, yes mom. I can even send you a selfie of me in my bedroom if that will calm you.” Steve snorted and shook his head amusedly. Then a car drove up and pulled over right by them. Tony sighed and turned to Steve.
“Well, that’s my ride. So, I’ll see you on Saturday?” Steve nodded and shoved the napkin down into his pocket.
“Sure. Text me later, okay?” Tony nodded and they both jumped a little when Rhodey honked and his rolled his window down.
“Get in Stark, I’m taking you home!” Tony rolled his eyes with a chuckle.
“See you around, Rogers.”
Steve smiled. “You too, Stark.” He started to walk up the street and Tony opened the door to get in, when he heard Steve called out to him. “And have a great time in Arkansas! I hear it’s great this time of year.” Then he started running towards the bus stop where they met.
Tony stared after him, a bit surprised, then he laughed softly before getting in Rhodey’s car. He heard Rhodey started to lay on him about running off and ignoring calls and who was that guy with you there and what have you been doing this whole time? Bla, bla, bla.
Tony tuned him out almost immediately. He just couldn’t stop smiling when he thought about those hours in the coffee shop, the nice talk with Steve and how easy he was to talk to, about how good it felt vent to someone who understood and how there were butterflies in his stomach about seeing him again-
Tony froze in his seat when he realized what had just happened.
“Oh fuck.”