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Height was a very important thing to Zim. It showed rank, status, strength. So the fact that his arch nemesis Dib towered over the alien really bothered him. It made Zim feel more inferior, and occasionally, he did exactly as the human asked as if acting on pure instinct. As the Dib grew tall, Zim was forced to step up his game in showing who was really the superior race. His plans started to take ridiculous turns, and he grew just a little more violent with each encounter(Dib had compared this to owning a cat, which only angered the alien even more). Despite being vertically challenged, Zim still had a great amount of strength in that small body. Dib had scars from where Zim had scratched him or bit him too hard. Even as a six foot nerd, he was still no match for the three foot alien. Zim took great pride in beating Dib in their physical fights, and he always made a big show about winning.
Which made today no different. The last Hi-Skool day of the week had just ended, and Zim slid down the bannister in order to catch up to his human. He had a plan which would end up with Dib writhing helplessly on the ground, and Zim couldn't wait to get started. He giggled maniacally to himself as to not bring unwanted attention. Once he got the Dib in his sights, Zim leapt off the bannister and onto the human's back. He was expecting the pathetic earth boy to swing him around in surprise and fight to get him off, but instead, he was met with a cheerful
"Hey Zim."
Zim suddenly started to pull on Dib's hair like reigns on a horse. It didn't hurt much, it was a familiar thing he did, so Dib was used to it.
"No! My ingenious plan is ruined! You were supposed to fight me!"
Dib frowned slightly. "Oh, is that what we were supposed to do? Sorry, Zim, I can't fight you today."
"WHAT? WHY? HAH! Are you ready to accept defeat, Dib-stink?!"
"No, I just have something I'm working on that's important."
"And our fights aren't important?!"
"Look, it's nothing personal, Zim, it's just a... school project."
"A school project."
"Yes."
"You think a stupid school project is more important than saving the earth from my genius evil plans."
"...Yes."
"That's the stupidest thing I think I've ever heard you say."
"Welp. Boohoo. I don't know what-"
Zim poked Dib's cheek really hard with his clawed finger.
"YOU DAAARE 'BOOHOO' THE GREAT AND MIGHTY ZIIIIM?!"
"Ouch! Geez, dude. And yeah, because if I don't, who will?"
"Hm. I see no flaw in that logic, except, oh I don't know- EVERYONE?!"
"Feeling's mutual. Now would you please" Dib stopped walking to lift Zim off his shoulders and set him on the ground. "Go home and think of some other super genius evil plan?"
Zim grumbled and mumbled to himself as he turned, quickly looking back once to yell and hiss before finally walking away.
Zim's door slammed open, no doubt putting a hole in the wall behind it(since Zim never seemed to figure out what door stoppers were). He grumbled and paced around, throwing off his disguise as the door shut itself. Zim suddenly stopped as he watched his robot companion drag a stuffed pig into the living room holding a big plate of waffles. The sight and smell of the sweet syrup sickened Zim.
"Gir, either eat those or throw them away."
"DON'T YOU WANT SOME?!" Gir screeched.
"No, Gir. No I don't."
"...Okie dokie then!" Gir hopped on the couch and started eating the waffles.
"No, I have to think of a NEW plan to take out the pitiful EARTH STINK Dib. He ruined the one I had planned today, so I MUST think of a better one. A plan so deliciously evil that even HE won't see it coming."
"OOH, OOH! I HAVE AN IDEA!" Girl's tiny limbs flailed in excitement.
"Excellent, Gir! Tell me! And this BETTER not be that story about your 'pet squirrel' that you ate."
"What if we TOOK Dib, and PUSHED him into room filled with pillows, and we all had a big pillow fight!!"
Zim's eye twitched. "Absolutely not."
Before Gir had the chance to start screaming and crying, Zim raised a finger into the air.
"But WAIT! Part of your ridiculous rambling COULD be of use to me after all." Zim turned his back to Gir dramatically. "Instead of pillows, I think using something more... painful. Will do the trick nicely." Zim wrung his hands together and cackled until his cackles became nasty coughs as he made his way into his secretly-not-so-secret-lab-that-everyone-knows-about lab.
---
The next day, Dib made his way to Zim's house with a big box under his arm. He knew it was probably a bad idea to reward Zim with a couple new little handmade weapons and a couple of what he liked to call "limb enhancers" to make him a bit taller(even though he set the max height to 4 feet), but this specific Saturday was something a little special. It probably meant nothing to Zim, but it was the first day he started plotting against the alien five years ago. That friday didn't really count since he showed up in the middle of class.
Dib showed up to the front lawn, and noticed that the gnomes were motionless. Perhaps Zim was expecting him? No, that can't be right. Zim always kept the gnomes on high alert. Maybe they were broken? Dib shook his head. That can't be it, either. Zim took meticulous care of his electronics. It was one of the few things he was truly talented at. Dib walked up to the front door and knocked with his signature little "tune", just so that Zim had no reason to mistake who it was.
Almost immediately, the alien's robot parents greeted him at the door with their usual "welcome home, son". Dib walked right past and looked around. Zim was nowhere in sight, but he noticed his robot on the couch munching on nachos and watching TV. Looked like some program for children, that is, until an ad for Bloaty's Pizza came on.
"Hey, Gir."
Gir shushed him and shoved a handful of chips in his mouth. Dib knew that didn't actually mean he wasn't going to talk, so he spoke anyway.
"Where's Zim? Have you seen him today?"
Suddenly, the robot's eyes turned red, and he stood defensively.
"Who's asking?!" His eyes turned back to blue and he sat back down. "HE'S DOWNSTAIRS!"
"Downst- Oh. Um, thanks, little buddy."
"MM-HM!" Gir shoved another handful of chips in his mouth and obnoxiously chewed with his mouth open. Dib wrinkled his nose in disgust, but he passed by and even took a couple chips to eat on his way down to the lab. It was never good cheese, and the chips were always stale, but he'd forgotten to eat that morning.
Dib had a small chat with the computer waiting for the elevator to reach their destination. It didn't take long, and Zim was in his sights as soon as he reached the floor. He looked preoccupied with his PAK, probably fixing something or just fidgeting with it. Either way, he didn't seem to notice the human's entrance at first. It was only when Dib took a couple steps that his antennas perked up, and he looked over.
"Gir, I told you, I don't have your- UAAAGH!" Zim stumbled backwards and fell onto his butt. "Dib stink! Wha- What are YOU doing here?!"
Dib couldn't help but smile at the little alien stumble around.
"What does Gir think you have? What's an 'uaaagh'? Some sort of alien tech?" Dib teased.
"Oh, haha, very funny, Dib. Gir thinks I ate his taquitos, and WAAAAAIT! YOU STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION, HUMAAAAN!!" Zim yelled, pointing at him. Man, this alien liked to yell and scream. Were Irkens ALWAYS this energetic?
"Do you remember the first time we met?"
Zim frowned as he returned his PAK to his back. "How could I forget? You tried to capture me with those stupid cuffs. Which were never gonna work, by the way."
"How do you know that?"
"FOOL! I analyzed them myself. That particular technology would have only worked on 200 races, Irkens not being one of them."
"Huh. Interesting. Anyway, I'm here to-"
Zim suddenly got in Dib's face, poking hard at his nose.
"YOU STILL HAVE YET TO ANSWER MY QUESTION, PITIFUL EARTHWORM!!"
"I was getting to that. Geez."
"Oh." Zim backed up and stood straight. "Go on then."
Dib only frowned for a second before speaking again.
"ANYway. I'm here to commemorate five years of frenemy-ship."
Zim raised a brow(or at least, where a brow would be if he had one).
"What? Why? You've never done that the past four years."
"Well yeah, but I think five is a good number. And if it lasts until ten, then we'll celebrate at ten."
"Celebrate? Celebrate what? You hate me."
"Only to a certain extent. When you're not trying to take over the world, I mean." Dib offered the box. "Plus this is getting really heavy, so I'd greatly appreciate it if you just took it off my hands."
Zim stared at the box for a moment before waving his hand.
"Just put it somewhere."
Dib then set it on the ground in front of the alien.
"That's... not exactly what I meant. But it'll do! Now, PREPARE FOR DESTRU-"
"Aren't you going to open it?"
"Hm? What? Why? IS IT A BOMB?!" Zim backed away into a nearby corner.
"No, Zim, it's not a bomb."
"Why should I trust you?!"
"Because I'm standing right here. If it were a bomb, I would've sent it from a safe distance so that I didn't get blown to smithereens."
Zim sat up and shuffled back over to the box, frowning deeply.
"O-OF COURSE! I knew that."
"Uh-huh."
Without breaking eye contact, one spider leg was released from his PAK and it ripped open the tape. Once it was back snug inside the PAK, Zim tossed a bunch of the packing peanuts at Dib despite the human's protests. When Zim could feel no more packing peanuts, he finally looked down at the contents of the box, and his eyes grew wide. Dib even swore they sparkled with excitement, which made getting the styrofoam thrown at him somewhat worth it. Zim lifted one of the weapons out of the box and held it up to inspect it. It was a little too big for him to carry with one hand, but he knew Zim wouldn't mind. He liked the heavier artillery anyway.
"What is this and how did you get it?"
"Well, I took bits and pieces of your failed weapons, and I built you a working one out of them."
"So it's Irken tech. YOU STOLE FROM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL ZIIIIIM?!"
"They were on the curb next to your trash can. If there's one thing you should have realized by now, is that when you live in a place like this, anything beside the actual trash can on the curb is fair game. I didn't 'steal' anything, YOU threw it away."
"Whatever, Dib-stink." Zim pointed the weapon at Dib, who threw his hands up defensively.
"WOAH, HEY! Point that thing at something else! Here!" Dib took a stuffed bear out of his coat. "Hit this! Geez!"
Zim grinned widely and shot at the bear, a big blue-white beam shooting out the barrel and to the bear, which exploded into ash in Dib's hand. The recoil of the gun sent Zim backwards, but he was able to regain his footing thanks to the metal spider legs that dug into the ground and caught him. Zim looked down at the gun in his hands on cackled. So he liked it, that was good. The alien quickly went for the other gun, which was smaller, but the barrel was bigger. However, when he pulled the trigger, a big cloud of confetti and glitter burst out, causing Zim to shriek and Dib to burst into borderline hysterical laughter.
"YOU GIANT HEADED BAFFOON! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF THE MESS YOU JUST MADE?!"
"Me? YOU pulled the trigger!"
"YOU MADE THE DARN THING!" Zim threw the confetti gun back into the box.
"And oh my God, you FELL for it!" Dib howled with laughter, having to lean on a nearby chair. "HAPPY FRENEMY DAY, SPACE BOY!"
"Oh, you are ON!" Zim tossed a remote looking device to Dib, who just barely had enough coordination to catch it. Dib sniffed and wiped a tear from his eyes.
"What's this?"
"I made it totally unrelated to this new 'holiday', but I figure why not give it to you now?" Zim grinned again, a little more sinister than last time. "As a frenemy day gift?"
"What does it do?"
"Press the button and find out. Don't worry, mine's not a bomb, either." Zim wrung his hands together maniacally. Dib had learned to take that gesture with a grain of salt. Seven times out of ten, he only ever did it to intimidate Dib and make his plan seem worse than it actually was. Which was smart, for him.
"Oh, alright. By the way, there's something else in that box that I think you'd like. Limb enhancers."
"Limb en-WHAT?"
But before Dib could explain, he'd pressed the button, and the floor beneath the human collapsed, sending him into a dark room, the room from above being the only available source of light. Zim poked his head to look down the hole, and he started cackling again.
"Geez, Zim! What is it this time?! There BETTER not be ANY sized moose in here!"
"Oh, no, Dib-stink. This room contains something MUCH more horrifying than a simple moose." Zim's voice bounced off the walls of the dark void. From what Dib could gather, it was a pretty big room. That didn't make him feel any better about it, though. If anything, it made him feel worse. Suddenly, Zim's voice sounded again, startling Dib.
"In fact, this is a game! You like puzzles, DON'T you, earth boy?"
"I guess?"
"I KNEW IT!" Zim cleared his throat. "Anyway, in order to leave, you must solve each of the five rooms in order to escape! Each room corresponds to a certain phobia and will get increasingly more difficult as you progress! You have twenty minutes to complete the rooms!" A big clock with bright red numbers reading 20:00 appears, taking up an entire wall. "If you fail, you will then get consumed by the phobia of the room you're in! HOWEVER! You DO have two lifelines! You can 'phone a friend', in which I will then provide you with a phone, and you will have two minutes to get an answer before the phone is destroyed remotely! Your second lifeline is a hint which will ALSO be provided by me! If you get stuck, but do not wish to use a lifeline, you may ask for an additional five minutes, BUT! You may ONLY ask for that ONCE! Do you understand the rules, pig brain?!"
"Yeah, but what do I get out of this if I win?" Dib asked loudly. The deafening sound of his own voice echos, and Dib has to fight the impulse to cover his ears.
"How about NOT getting consumed by phobias?" Zim laughed.
"That's a stupid cop out!"
"Eh?! FINE!" there's a short pause as the alien thinks. "If you're able to complete all five rooms, WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPEN! Then, and only then, will you receive the most valuable prize of all!"
"Which would be what?"
"YOU'LL SEE, HUMAN!! I'M SUCH A GENIUS THAT I HAVEN'T FOUND IT YET!!"
"That doesn't seem very genius-like."
"SILENCE! NOW WE BEGIN! This room is the easiest! So take the flashlight and get going!" With that, Zim's head disappeared from the hole in the ceiling, and a lit flashlight rose from a little pedestal in the ground, and the twenty minute countdown began.