Chapter Text
Yeet_kune_do added punchabrick, richb*tch, and 3 others to group: New Group
Yeet_kune_do changed group name to high school detectives +pals
yeet_kune_do: whats up guys
heisei_holmes: What is this?
hat: hey how bout we yeet kune don't
yeet_kune_do: nah
yeet_kune_do: its a group chat!
yeet_kune_do: y'all seem cool so I asked @ punchabrick for your tags
punchabrick: Hi guys :)
punchabrick: Shinichi I never see you anymore and Hattori-kun and Kazuha-chan are all the way in Osaka so I thought we could keep in touch this way!
hat: ok im sold
hat : dunno about kudo tho
punchabrick: ??
punchabrick: Why wouldn't he be?
hat: uhh
hat: he might be busy i guess?
yeet_kune_do: you guess?
hat: uh
hat: sh*t
heisei_holmes: There's no problem.
heisei_holmes: Hattori shut up.
hat: sorry
richb*tch: What's that all about
kazoo: no clue
kazoo: heiji's an idiot so probably something to do with that
heisei_holmes: Impressive, how'd you know?
hat: hey >:(
punchabrick: Oh hi Kazuha-chan! :D
kazoo: hi ran-chan!!
kazoo: at least i think ur ran-chan
kazoo: idk who anyone is
hat: oh i think we can change our nicknames hold on
Hat changed hat 's name to westy
Hat changed heisei_holmes 's name to easty
Hat changed punchabrick 's name to easty's girl
easty's girl: Hey wait
easty: I have objections
westy: what i thought u guys were official already?
easty: That is not the issue here
westy: anyway what should kazuha's name be
easty's girl: I don't know Hattori-kun it looks like you kind of had a pattern going there
westy: wym
easty changed kazoo 's name to westy's girl
easty: There you go.
westy: OI HOL UP
westy's girl: wait a minute
easty's girl: Aww you two are cute together
yeet_kune_do: wait so then am I just
yeet_kune_do: easty 2?
westy: uh
richb*tch: What about me, I'm not any detective's girl
easty: I'm not sure this naming system was entirely well thought out
yeet_kune_do: you could be my girl
westy: o dam
yeet_kune_do: haha jk
westy: hmm not convinced
easty: Let's leave the "Is Sera gay" debate for another time, Hattori.
richb*tch: Ngl if I didn't already have a boyfriend I'm not even sure I woulda said no
yeet_kune_do: o dam
easty's girl: Oh yeah, where is Kyogoku-san anyway?
richb*tch: lol I asked him but I'm pretty sure the most recent technology that guy's ever touched came out like a decade ago
easty: Yeah, that sounds about right.
richb*tch: Wait have you two even met before?
easty: I
easty: Heard about him from Conan.
easty: Yeah.
richb*tch: Ofc you did
yeet_kune_do: i'm narrowing my eyes super hard at you rn you just can't see it
easty: ANYWAY
easty: Let's pick new names.
yeet_kune_do: oh yeah!
yeet_kune_do: we were gonna do that weren't we
easty: Suggestions?
easty's girl: How about just our real names?
westy: nah that's boring
westy: let's think of something mystery-themed
westy's girl: f*ckin nerd
westy: rude
easty's girl: Come on, let's be nice
westy: no
easty: Why don't we compromise?
easty: Let's find something that's mystery-related yet still appeals to the general public, like...
easty's girl: Like?
easty: Hattori, help me out here.
westy: uhh
westy: scooby doo
westy's girl: seriously heiji
westy: HE PUT ME ON THE SPOT TF DID YOU WANT ME TO SAY
yeet_kune_do: i like it!
yeet_kune_do: dibs on scooby tho
westy: f*ck no i want scooby
yeet_kune_do: you can be freddy he's like the leader
westy: ugh fine
Yeet_kune_do changed yeet_kune_do 's name to scooby
Scooby changed westy 's name to freddy
easty: Hmph. Pedestrian.
freddy: oi wHAT WAS THAT KUDO
Easty changed easty 's name to velma
velma: You'd have to be a fool not to realize the truly superior Scooby-Doo character.
freddy: ... velma
velma: Yes.
freddy: actually on second thought velma fits you perfectly
easty's girl: There's only one person who can be Daphne here
Easty's girl changed richb*tch 's name to daphne
daphne: Ok fair but
daphne: Doesn't that leave you with Shaggy
easty's girl: Oh shoot you're right
easty's girl: And there's still Kazuha-chan!
freddy: no no this works out perfectly
freddy: see
freddy: shaggy is too powerful to be contained in only one username
easty's girl: Shaggy is powerful??
westy's girl: i dunno heiji it sounds like ur reaching
scooby: no no he's right
scooby: we have to nerf him by splitting him in half
freddy: and who better fit for the strongest character than you two?
easty's girl: I don't know about that
easty's girl: Sera-chan probably could've beaten me that one time on the bus
scooby: it's too late im already scooby
scooby: you have to complete the circle
easty's girl: What does that even mean?
westy's girl: sounds spooky
freddy: just shut up and be shaggy already
Scooby changed easty's girl 's name to right shaggy
Freddy changed westy's girl 's name to left shaggy
velma: I have to say,
velma: This is incredibly stupid.
freddy: yeah kinda
_ _ _ _ _
Hat added heisei_holmes, smolchemist, and 1 other to group: New Group
Hat changed group name to kudo's secret crew
hat: so for anyone unaware of the situation kudo and i kinda got roped into a group chat with everyone we know in highschool yada yada yada
hat: this may or may not cause problems in the long run
smolchemist: I don't know why I'm even surprised at this point.
smolchemist: That said, I fail to see how one
group chat should be anything but fairly innocuous provided the both of you handle yourselves and and any sensitive information you may have carefully
smolchemist: Unless I'm given a reason to believe otherwise…?
hakase: I have to agree. Couldn't this even become a good thing?
heisei_holmes: Hattori slipped up within the first five minutes.
hat: yeah and kudo didn't last much longer
smolchemist: Why the f*ck do I decide to trust you two with anything ever
hat:
dunno lol