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If you had no panic room, you’d be angry too
You don’t wanna be controlled by the past, with the truth that has settled in
All your darkest fears are going to come for you, come for you, making you come unglued
The pain hasn’t settled and you don’t know how to act, wanting much more than to distract
Virgil was in a panic; hot tears ran down his face as he showed up into his room. He wanted to check more on Roman, not believing that the other side’s head was as fine as the prince claimed. Virgil knew that he couldn’t, not in the state that he was. He knew that once Roman saw that he was crying the questioning would be turned on him. The tears poured from his eyes, making his eyeshadow smear. Virgil hadn’t bothered to wipe them either- as he knew there would more to come.
Virgil sat on his bed, taking a breath as more tears came. He noticed a side showed up, and one that he would rather not have a conversation with at the moment.
“Ooo, a crying Virgil? That’s a rare sight!”
“Get out,” Virgil said with no heat behind it.
“Why should I?” Deceit fully popped into the anxious sides room, standing not far from Virgil.
“I’m not in the mood for your tricks Deceit- get out.”
Deceit pursed his lips before they turned into a smirk, “Should I leave so you can mope more about how Thomas hates you again?”
“Get-”
“Should I leave so you can cry off your eyeshadow?”
“Get o-”
“You’re just going to make Thomas feel more anxious as you sit here and mope, Virgil.”
Virgil crossed his arms, deciding against another ‘get out’. “Why’d you show up?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Thomas seemed distressed and I know a certain side who causes that.”
“I’m always the one to blame,” Another sigh left his mouth. Deceit just smiled. “Seriously though- please Deceit, leave. I’m not in the mood for your lies.”
“It takes a liar to know a liar,” Deceit smiled with his teeth.
“Shut up!” Virgil’s voice cracked. Deceit went to speak again, but before he could Virgil screamed at him to shut up- his demonic echo fitting in. Virgil’s hands found their way to his skull- to his hair, grabbing at his purple locks sharply.
“SHUT UP!” Virgil gasped as the last ‘shut up’ shook the room. Virgil’s hands kept on his head but moved it hold rather than pull at his hair. He took more deep breaths as he tried to focus his vision- he couldn’t tell if his vision was blurry from crying or from the headache that was forming.
“Can’t- can’t you just leave me alone?” Virgil asked deeply but not demonically. Virgil opened his eyes to look at Deceit- seeing that the deceptive side’s eyes were wide and his mouth was in a frown.
The deceptive side quickly recovered, a yellow gloved hand coming to rest under his chin as he squinted his eyes and turned his frown into another smirk, “Are you sure you want me to leave?”
“Very.”
“Are you sure you’re sure?”
“Deceit-”
“Fine, fine,” Deceit waved his hand around, “I’ll just go talk with Remus- see how his night went. I will visit you later then, y’know maybe when you’re not crying your goddamn eyes out.” And with that, sunk out of the emo’s room.
Virgil let out a groan of frustration, collapsing onto his bed. The anxious side covered his watery eyes, letting his body fall to sleep.
Welcome to the panic room, we know you will be angry too
For your nightmares to begin, you must wanna destroy it, you must want it out of your head
Try to hide it inside, but your whole world can see
The downfalls you left and the downfalls you leave
Virgil woke up sometime later, whining from the position he was in. He moved out of it, getting up and away from his bed. He moved to his bathroom, seeing the eyeshadow was smeared. A sigh escaped his mouth as he grabbed a make-up wipe, wiping away the darkness under his eyes. He went to paint a new layer, but noticed that the mirror flickered? It was definitely the mirror- the lights stayed on as the mirror faded from Virgil to black, back to Virgil. The anxious one paused, putting the small brush down on the counter; Virgil barely had one eye done. He let his hand wander up to the mirror as his face inched closer.
“Do you feel like you finally ‘fit in’, Virgil?” A deep and beguiling voice questioned.
Virgil wasn’t sure if the voice was real- if it was in his head or not. His face got closer as the mirror flashed yellow.
“Do you feel like you’ve found your perfectly little family?”
Virgil stepped away from the mirror, “Deceit- I told you to leave me alone.”
Deceit rose up next to the anxious one, getting a shriek from Virgil (and a laugh for himself). The purple side sighed, rolling his eyes as he returned back to his eyeshadow. The deceptive side watched for a moment or two, letting Virgil finish his eye make-up.
“How is Remus?” Virgil asked instead of why the lying one was here.
“Disturbing as always,” Deceit smirked.
Virgil smirked back, “When isn’t he?” Virgil then put his make-up away and walked back to his bed, making his bed as Deceit followed.
“Let’s cut to the chase, Mr. Lies-” Virgil started.
“-Ooo, how clever-”
“-Why are you here? I told you to leave me alone,” Virgil glared.
“Yes, I did?”
“For some time! Now your back and I don’t want you here! I want to be alone- let me be alone Deceit!”
“Why should I, Virgil?”
“Why should you? Why shouldn’t you! Don’t you understand what alone means?”
“Of course, I do,” Deceit smiled again, “but why can’t I bother you?”
“Because I don’t want you to? Because it’s annoying?” Virgil took a deep breath. “Somehow, you don’t seem to understand,”
“And what am I not understanding, Virgil?”
Virgil huffed, angry that Deceit was playing this way. Virgil studied the snake for a moment; the deceptive one’s arms were crossed; his yellow gloved fingers were tapping on his arm. He was smirking (a normal facial expression for him), yet his teeth poked through. Next his scales- the snake’s scales were unique enough if anyone took time to notice them. The scales only covered half of Deceit’s face; half of his body. Though the ones that you could see on his face were astonishing. The little flat-ish hexagons littered over his forehead, his cheek and some even came from his chin- all leading back to his ear. The color engaging; they where dark green but seemed to have dark brown undertones. Probably light green or even yellow tints in the right lighting. The next thing to notice was his eyes- eye. The brown was there and pretty but the mix of neon green and yellow was so intriguing. The eye color was almost intoxicating- it drew you in. It drew you in like telling lie after lie to make up a story.
“Virgil?” Deceit called, raising an eyebrow, “What am I not understanding?”
Virgil took in Deceit’s words, really taking a minute to recognize how they were said and what they meant. And shit.
“How about this Virgil,” Deceit clicked his tongue, “I’ll let you be alone- I’ll let you mope and sulk and possible cause Thomas distress. And when I return maybe you can tell me what I cannot possibly understand. Afterall we didn’t come from the same place, did we? I forget!”
Virgil stared in shock as Deceit sunk out.
Welcome to the panic room, we know you will be afraid soon
You’d be better off alone, locking yourself away
You fear that it can’t be reversed, you’ll wait for who
Does it make you see red? Fearful of being prey?
Virgil made it out of his room once that day. He made it out for dinner. Virgil made his stay out of his room short- showing up right when Patton was serving. He kept his talk almost nonverbal besides asking Roman how he was from yesterday. Virgil knew that the other sides were suspicious that something was going on, or even that they knew. Once that thought was in his mind Virgil started to visibly shake. His fork tapped against his plate. Then he dropped his fork onto the floor- and that when he called quits. Virgil got up, not looking at the disruption he made- not paying attention to the conversation that he just interrupted- not looking at the faces of concern.
The door slammed behind the purple-cladded man and he sighed. Virgil knew that it was okay for him to feel like this and that it would be better for him to talk to someone about it too. It just didn’t feel right trying to talk with Patton, Logan or Roman. Virgil needed someone who felt the same way as him, and that’s what Deceit’s point was earlier.
“What am I not understanding?”
Deceit wasn’t not understanding anything. He knew what Virgil was feeling. Hell, even Remus knew it too- Deceit was a better one to talk to though.
“Are you ready to tell me what I am misunderstanding now?” The deceitful side appeared on Virgil’s bed.
“Do I have a choice?”
“Not really.” Deceit pretended to check his fingernails even though he was wearing gloves.
“You do understand, and-” Virgil took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “and I told Thomas that I- that- I am one of- I was one of the… others. That- that I was… a dark side,”
Because I was one of them.
Deceit nodded, smiling, “As I thought. So then, what are you going to do with what you told him?”
“I don’t know! I can’t face Thomas! I barely got through dinner with the other- the others. Oh god, Deceit- what if Patton, Logan or Roman know? Or they’ve figured it out?”
“Virgil,” The deceitful side called, “Calm down,”
Deceit moved towards the anxious one, his movements small not to frighten Virgil. A yellow gloved hand rested on the purple hoodie, making Virgil look up at Deceit.
Virgil was a mess, an understatement. The anxious side was shaking just the lightest bit, his hands gripping his hair. Virgil’s usual eyeshadow to heighten his bags under his eyes was smudging and running. Hot tears finally broke their damn and started to trickle down his face, streaming through the black powder. His mouth was open and small frequent breaths poured out.
Because I was one of them.
“Virgil,” Deceit called again, “You’re okay, I am right here.”
Virgil’s eyes flickered from the floor to Deceit, to the hand on his shoulder. Anxiety cried harder as he ran to Deceit, the lying side comforting him in a hug. Virgil stuffed his face into Deceit’s chest, crying his eyes out. And Deceit stood there, hugging, comforting, and said things to make Virgil calm down. Slowly, Anxiety would calm down, the storm would blow over, but for now he just needed the sympathy of the snake. Something the snake didn’t do very often, but he knew Anxiety for a long time, him being an exception. Even though the snake was cunning most of the time, he had his moments.
Virgil sniffed, feeling sleepy as Deceit’s calming words filled his ears.
Chaos all around, living life scared?
You’ve trapped yourself in a dark place
Placing yourself to be insane, letting the paranoia get to you
If you had no panic room, you’d be angry too