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Bruce had no idea how long he’d been holding his thumb up, as car after car passed his giant green body. Most seemed to actually speed up when they saw him. Apparently he hadn’t done enough good as “professor hulk” to negate all the smashing and rage that the big guy had unleashed in the past. He sighed, resigning himself to walking the rest of the way, when a rusty pickup truck slowed down beside him and started honking.
He frowned, having to lean over a fair bit to see the driver and immediately smiled at the familiar face behind the wheel.
“Hey there big guy, looks like you need a lift…”
“Valkyrie!”
The Asgardian lowered the sunglasses she was wearing and gave him a scrutinising look, “You’ve had a growth spurt.”
“Physically and spiritually my friend,” he said, because he was zen now, and that’s how zen people talk.
“Right… Anyway looks like you could use a lift. But… I don’t think you’ll fit in the front.
Bruce very awkwardly bunched up into the bed of the truck, the car letting out long groans of protest. Hopefully, it would hold him on the way to New Asgard.
“So what brings you to our neck of the woods? I don’t think I’ve seen you since that big purple testicle blew up our spaceship!” Valkyrie shouted from the front.
Bruce winced, he’d definitely meant to come and see the new kingdom, trying multiple times since the snap, but he chickened out every time. He was too nervous to see a certain someone, a certain king who, the last time he saw, was so devastated he barely resembled Bruce’s old jovial, funny friend. It was shitty, and he should have been there for Thor the last few years.
“Yeah that was rough… I’ve been meaning to come and see you, you know and Korg and Miek and…” he stopped, letting out an awkward cough.
Valkyrie, who knew how special Thor was to Bruce, thankfully didn’t push him, “Well you’re here now, and I’m sure everybody will be glad to see you.”
“How is he?” he finally asked after a while.
She took a long time to answer, and Bruce listened to the clunky engine of the truck, watching the picturesque villa they were driving past. The last image he had of Thor, one of his closest friends on the team, was his tortured look after he’d lobbed the head off that monster.
“What did you do?” Rocket had asked. It seemed that all the energy had gone out of Thor with the swing of the axe as he sighed…
“I went for the head…”
“He’s seen better days” Valkyrie finally answered, “I mean I’m the sober one in the house now if you know what I mean.”
Bruce sighed, laden with guilt. He should have come to see his friend, regardless of any awkwardness, or any weird feelings he may have developed for Thor during their time in space together. His friend needed him and he’d let him down. Hopefully now that he and Hulk had sorted out their issues he’d be able to help Thor heal a little bit as well.
Bruce was pleasantly surprised at the progress new Asgard had made as a little fishing town. The people, the survivors of both Hela and Thanos, seemed in high spirits and well-fed. Even better when they saw him, they actually smiled, remembering Hulk from the ship as an ally and someone who protected them fiercely.
He wasn’t really sure what he was expecting when he imagined Thor’s new home but it was actually pretty non-descript, just on the edge of the little town. Valkyrie pulled out a giant crate of beer cans out of the passenger side door…
“I thought you were gonna try to sober up,” Bruce said in his best impression of a disapproving dad.
“I have, but his majesty has developed a taste for this particular beer. Any beer really. Bourbon… Tequila… Absinthe,” she listed absently.
“I get the picture…” Bruce said sadly. Thor had always been a social drinker but to hear he’d become so dependant on alcohol made Bruce unbelievably sad. Grief affected people in many different ways and the grief and guilt seemed to be hitting Thor hard. He wasn’t sure how his old friend would react to seeing him after three years but Bruce owed it to him to be there to support him now.
He scrunched up his big green nose as he entered the house, hit with the stenches of booze, rancid takeout containers, and just general dirt. The kitchen was a shambles filled with Pizza and Chinese takeout boxes, dishes piled high and a trashcan overflowing with discarded and crushed beer cans. There was also a weird, familiar plant smell, like marijuana but sweeter…
“Korg's special stash,” Valkyrie mumbled pointing to a round table with a bong in the center and piles of what looked like little green rocks. He looked at Val alarmed, how hard was the stuff Thor had been taking?
She seemed to read his mind, “Don’t worry, it’s as harmless as earth weed, if anything it just makes Thor hungry.
“Thor! Korg! Someone is here to see you…”
“I swear to Odin if that’s Astrilde again…” he heard Thor’s hoarse voice.
“Look miss we didn’t steal your oranges…” Korg said entering the kitchen, immediately grinning at the sight of Bruce. “Green Man! It’s good to see you bud, thank god you’re not that lady. We actually did steal her oranges to make screwdrivers.”
“Hi Korg” Bruce gave his old friend a hug, which was easy because they were the same size now.
“Bro I love your twitter account “Proffesor_Hulk” it’s both insightful and witty. You might know me as “getyourrocksoffKorg”.
Bruce was about to answer when he heard a voice calling his name from the TV room. His heart skipped a little as he entered, prepared to see Thor for the first time, but he had to stop himself from audibly gasping.
He was almost unrecognizable to the man Bruce knew. The most obvious change was the weight gain, his belly hanging out of his shirt over the waistband of his pants. His hair had grown back, shoulder-length, but it was matted and dark, strands hanging over his face, which had also plumped up a bit. His clothes were clearly made for comfort. Sweats, an old singlet, and a threadbare cardigan.
All of these changes were jarring, but Bruce was never one to focus on looks. The biggest change was his aura. Thor used to exude confidence. He was a boisterous, brave, bombast of a man but now… He was hunched in on himself. He’d never looked so small. There were dark bags under his eyes, and frown lines that were never there before. He stared at Bruce almost dumbly, he didn’t quickly move to embrace him or shake his hand like he used to. He didn’t even seem to register that Bruce was now large and green permanently.
Despite all this Bruce still felt that familiar pang in his chest, that deep down longing that he immediately had to squash. He was never brave enough to say what he felt when Thor was king of Asgard. He could never admit anything to this new Thor, who he still loved no matter his appearance, who clearly needed help.
“Brucey boy,” Thor slurred and burped, “How’s life?”
“Uh, it’s… It’s good Thor. I love what you’ve done with the town, everyone looks really happy here,” he said, hoping to get Thor interested in talking about his people, who back in the day he would have done anything for.
“Mmm…” Thor grunted, his face suddenly becoming unbelievably hard, his blue eye going steely and dark, “could be fifty percent happier if it weren’t for me.”
Bruce grimaced. He remembered though he was Hulk at the time, the brutality of half of Asgard getting slaughtered on that spaceship.
“You’re green…” Thor seemed to just realize this.
“Haha, yeah I’ve had a bit of a growth spurt… Physically and spiritually…” he was trying for upbeat and playful but Thor just looked at him dumbly.
“I was just about to make dinner… Sakkarian slug soup…” Valkyrie said.
Bruce almost gagged, while Thor seemed to perk up at the mention of food. “Where did you get the slugs from?”
“They’re just earth escargot, but the recipe is from Sakaar, there were some spices and meat on the spaceship.
The soup was surprisingly palatable; Bruce had seconds, as did Thor, who chased it down with two cans of beer.
Bruce mumbled behind his hand to Val while Thor and Korg talked Call of Duty strategies, “How many of those does he have a day?”
“Let’s just say if he didn’t have an Asgardian metabolism he’d be on the top of the liver transplant list…”
As a guise to talk more with her he offered to clear the dishes, which was hard word because the plates were smaller than his hands.
“He’s not good huh?” Bruce asked as he listened to Korg and Thor cursing at some sports game.
“He never leaves the house,” she sighed, “he sleeps all hours of the day. I try to get him out to talk to the people in the town, appeal to the king of Asgard but he has no motivation, he just gets this pained look, like it hurts him to even think of it. I’ve even tried to et him to see one of your earth psychologists but no luck…”
Having multiple degrees in medicine and taken psych courses Bruce could see the signs of severe depression, coupled with anxiety about leaving the house and talking to the people who still loved him dearly as their king. Thor wouldn’t shirk his responsibilities as king if there wasn’t something seriously wrong, or if he didn’t feel worthy enough.
Bruce shuffled into the TV room and gingerly sat down in a big enough space near the couch.
“What are you guys watching?” he frowned as two men in a hexagonal cage beat the crap out of each other.
“It’s MMA, it’s awesome!” Thor roared.
“Korg you’re into this?” Bruce asked the rock-man who had largely been a pacifist as long as he’d known him.
“It reminds me of home, although the brutality is on a much smaller scale. I suppose I’ve become desensitized to the barbaric practices of cage matches after that Hela chick blew up old as- oh my god Thor I’m so sorry bro.” he said turning to his friend who had stiffened while Korg had been talking.
“That’s okay…” Thor said, sinking further into the couch, “she blew it up but I finished the job…”
Bruce had heard enough, so in an effort to distract Thor and get him out of his funk he tried to get him to give him a twilight tour of the town. Thor was obviously resistant, not liking to be seen in public.
“Come on it’s dark out, we can stick to the shadows, plus I’m sure people will be to busy gawking at the ten-foot ogre wandering around town…” Thor cracked the first signs of a smile that Bruce had seen since he’d arrived and sealed the deal with his puppy dog eyes, which Thor still couldn’t resist despite Bruce’s metamorphosis.
Thor moved differently than Bruce was used to, timid steps and shifty-eyed like he was ready to bolt if someone saw them. Bruce tried to draw him out by pointing out interesting things around the town. The markets, the docks, the town center. He eventually got Thor talking about how he’d set up the settlement after the snap.
“We needed a way to bring in money, and many of the remaining Asgardians were practiced merchants, so we decided to settle into a fishing village. The community is provided for, they have something to do and they can travel elsewhere if they so choose… They barely even need a ruler anymore.” Bruce wasn’t sure if Thor was happy or sad about that, his voice was very quiet at that point.
“Well how have you been settling in?” he asked pointedly as they sat on a bench by one of the docks.
Thor looked up at him, a sad smile spread across his face, “You’re probably wondering how I got… Like this,” he moved his hands up and down to indicate his hair and his stomach, “I’m not exactly in prime form anymore…”
“Thor,” Bruce gingerly put one big green hand on his friend's shoulder, “I’m more worried about you than anything, it wouldn’t matter what you looked like so long as you were happy and healthy… Are you?”
The king let out a shuddery sigh, looking out at the inky black of the ocean, “I’m not certain anymore… It’s been a rough couple of years, I’m not sure if I know what okay is anymore… I’m no longer a king anymore.”
“Thor that’s just not true…” The smaller man (Bruce still wasn’t used to being bigger) looked up at him and smiled.
“I’ve missed you, Bruce.”
Bruce gulped, his throat suddenly becoming dry with guilt and want, “I’ve missed you too buddy,” he said.
“So… Why don’t you stay awhile?” Thor wasn’t looking him right in the eye like he was nervous Bruce might say no. Bruce couldn’t blame him; he’d abandoned his friend for years.
“Yeah, I’d like that…”
So Bruce decided to stay in town for a while. He told himself it was just to make sure Thor was okay, and to see if he could persuade him to get some help, from a doctor who wasn’t big and green.
He and Korg spent a day preparing a spare room with a reinforced mattress with a nice view of the ocean, where the sun could filter through the window for his afternoon meditation. Korg spent time on some little details, fresh linen and some flowers for the bedside, little things to improve the room’s feng shui. He was happy Thor had gentle, good-natured Korg living with him, who was too timid dealing with video game trolls but would stand up to help Thor whenever he needed.
He subtly tried to get everyone in the house into a semi-routine. A breakfast he could make himself with his big hands. Then Korg and Thor would spend a while playing videogames while Bruce read or meditated. Valkyrie, who wasn’t actually living in the same house would usually come in and cook the boys something basic for dinner. She spent most of her day running things in town, organizing catches, shipments, any grievances that the town might have. She was a bit abrasive, and not at all diplomatic but actually had a real knack for leadership.
Her dinner time visits came more out of a desire to see the boys, and worry for Thor, than any real desire to cook. It was fun getting to know her as Bruce, too.
After dinner, Bruce managed to drag Thor out for more twilight walks under the guise of wanting to catch up some more, which they did. They talked about how the rest of the old team were doing, Bruce’s current string of research, and his sudden rise to hero status.
“Kids come up to me now, asking for a selfie with the Hulk… I gotta tell ya it’s a lot nicer than having people scream and run.” Thor would just wistfully smile.
“I used to enjoy that too I must admit…”
“You could always venture out of town every once and a while, I’m sure people would love to see your safe and take photos with the god of thunder!”
They smiled, a bitter action and just looked down at his stomach. “I’m not exactly that person anymore..,”
“Yes,” Bruce put down a big green hand and rested it lightly on Thor’s, an innocent enough gesture, but it still gave him butterflies, “You are. You’re looks don’t define you Thor. It’s what’s under that big beautiful belly!” He thought he caught Thor blushing before the god quickly looked away. “It’s your bravery, your strength, and that spark inside… That’s what makes people love you…” he stopped, feeling like he might have shown his cards, that Thor might realise he’d been talking about himself.
“That light…” Thor said instead, “I haven’t felt it in a long time…”
“You will, I promise you Thor.”
Life for the next few weeks was simple. Living in a fishing town with hardworking people, hanging out with old friends was actually doing Bruce a world of good himself. And Thor was slowly coming out of his shell. On their walks, Bruce would subtly steer them into more populace places in the town where they might run into some towns people. They were always overjoyed to see Thor, who at first was nervous, shrugged off their kindness. But slowly he started to help out in whatever little ways he could, taking on light duties, having conversations where he would actually joke and laugh.
Their one on one talks got a little more real, as Thor talked a bit about things that were weighing him down. Survivor’s guilt, grief for his people. Occasionally he’d mention Loki, but then quickly change the subject. In turn, he’d ask Bruce how he and Hulk were working together. Bruce had to admit he had trouble some days, taming the beast, some fear of looking at himself in the mirror. Somehow sharing their grief, talking through it lifted a weight off of both of them.
One night, while Bruce was cleaning up around the place which he’d started doing more and more of (it stank a whole lot less now) when he heard a shout from Thor’s room. Forgetting his size Bruce knocked over some stuff in his rush to check on his friend and entered the bedroom without thinking.
Thor was tangled in his sheets, still asleep but yelling, calling out for his brother.
“Loki… No Loki don’t give it to him! It’s a trick!
There was sweat on his brow, and his hair was a tangled mess, strands hanging over his pained face that was a mask of fear and grief. He was stirring, his movements becoming more and more violent, so Bruce carefully leaned next to the bed and lightly shook Thor’s shoulder to wake him. But sleep had a tight grip on Thor, and with little thought to Thor’s half nakedness, Bruce carefully leaned on the bed and scooped Thor into his chest, lightly holding his arms so the god wouldn’t thrash or hit himself. He tried rocking a bit, or stroking Thor's hair, anything to calm him and thankfully Thor seemed to come too a little, his yelling to little sobs as Bruce made soothing noises.
“Bruce?” Thor slurred in between sobs, shifting his head to look up at his big green friend. He looked vulnerable and broken, words he’d never used to associate with Thor. “Whuh- Was I dreaming?” He didn’t make any attempt himself from the bear hug Bruce had him in.
“Yeah buddy, it sounded pretty rough so I just thought…”
“Thank you…” Thor said simply.
“No problem…”
Thor made a sort of choked laughing noise, “This is weird…”
“Oh I’m so sorry should I not have-“ he began moving away, but Thor clung to him and nestled in a bit closer.
“No no! It’s not that, this is nice” Bruce’s ears started to burn, “It’s just… I’m usually the big one… I pictured this the other way, you know? I’m not complaining… Thank you for waking me up.”
Now was not the time for Bruce to fixate on Thor imagining holding Bruce intimately, now really wasn’t the time. He could only hope Thor might feel like going for it one day.
“Do you wanna talk about the dream?”
Thor took a long time to respond, where Bruce just held him until he was ready.
“It was on the ship… Thanos… He has his hand- the gauntlet- wrapped around Loki’s neck…”
“Do you have this dream often?”
“Yes… Sometimes Korg wakes me… Valkyrie once when I fell asleep on the couch.”
“I’m so sorry…”
“I’ve had it less since you’ve been here…” Bruce didn’t know how to respond to that, so he just squeezed Thor a little tighter, enjoying the warm feeling spreading in his chest.
Another while passed before Thor broke the silence, “Why did you never come to see me? In all these years…”
Bruce didn’t expect the question so suddenly but wasn’t surprised. He’d thought Thor might bring it up on one of their walks. He didn’t know which parts to leave out of his answer. He couldn’t admit his romantic feelings towards Thor, that selfish guilt that made him put off seeing the one person he’d grown closest to.
“I thought that I needed time, to come to terms with the Hulk and what we both wanted from each other… So I went off to find myself… ourselves. If I had any idea how hard you were struggling Thor I would have jumped here in a second…”
“Yeah… I mean Tony, Steve I get why they might not… I just missed you.”
“I missed you too Thor.”
“Will you…” Thor hesitated, “will you stay a bit longer? You know… In case I have another dream…” he finished hurriedly.
“Of course I will,” Bruce shuffled into a more comfortable position, shifting Thor so he was resting comfortably on Bruce’s chest. He absently started fiddling with a lock of Thor’s hair, until he heard Thor’s breathing even out as he fell asleep again.
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Thor woke up alone, wrapped up snugly in his blankets. He patted the area behind him, stomach falling when he realized Bruce had left during the night. He didn’t understand why he felt so disappointed, well he did but he wasn’t about to admit it to himself. He saw his door was open a crack and heard cooking noises from the kitchen, and Bruce muttering a curse as he dropped something.
Thor slowly sat up, slipping a shirt on. He looked in the mirror appraisingly, finding he disliked the way he looked a lot less recently, even though he was still big. He padded out to the kitchen, where Bruce saw him and grinned.
“Hey! Good morning. I was gonna brew some coffee, make some eggs and bring them in for you before you woke, but I’m having trouble with working with small objects,” Thor noticed some coffee grounds on the counter and an egg Bruce presumably dropped on the floor and couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up.”
Me too, thought Thor, “It’s okay. You’re here now, that’s all that matters.