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Some people don't realize how lucky they are. They get to go about their lives with their marks hidden from the world. Without having them always on full display and people constantly staring and whispering and pointing.
Buck is not so lucky.
His soulmark has been an ever present thing above his eye since the day he was born. You'd think he'd be used to it by now. And he mostly is.
But it still would get to him sometimes when he was out in public and he'd catch people pointing and whispering. As if Buck is different just because his mark is so viable.
He thinks about how as a kid his mom had told him he was special because of it. How it just made him more beautiful. Buck had wanted to believe that.
Up until he started school and realized that maybe special wasn't a good thing. Not all kids were jerks about it. But some were. Those were the ones that made they distaste loud and clear. He can't remember how many times he was told he was disgusting for exposing himself like that. As if he ever had a choice.
That is until he got older and noticed Maddie putting on makeup for a date one night. It hit him then that he might not always have to walk around with his mark visible. That just maybe he could go out into the world without being under everyone’s scrutiny.
Maddie frowned the first time she noticed him doing it, telling him he didn’t have to hide himself like that. But she didn’t get it. Her mark was hidden under her shirt most days. No one would ever see it unless she wanted them to. She never had to live with people giving her shit for it. Not like Buck had.
So he starts covering it.
He finds the best water resistant makeup he can find, making sure there’s no chance he can sweat it off. And if it does start to fade, well that’s why he carries it with him and keeps an extra bottle in his locker just to be safe. The last thing he needs is to have people staring at him or drawing attention to it when he’s on a call.
It's nice just being able to exist without being under a lot of scrutiny. Sometimes he's able to forget all about soulmarks and soulmates and just go about his day as a normal person.
The first time Buck meets Eddie Diaz he feels like he's been hit by a truck with the way his breath leaves him. He tells himself it's because Eddie's attractive. That's all there is to it.
He's still wary at first, but then things change and he gets to know Eddie. Gets to see how great of a guy he is, and a wonderful father.
It's hard not to want to be his friend. In fact, Buck falls into the friendship with Eddie faster than he ever has with anyone else.
It's easy for him to let his guard down, though not completely. Even when he moves into the spare room at Eddie's house he's still sure to be careful.
It's not that he doesn't trust Eddie. It's just that he's gotten so used to hiding his mark from everyone but Maddie that he's not sure how to just let the mask slip.
Buck's laying in his bed late one night, the clock next to the bed telling him it's going on midnight. He stays like that, listening to the quiet stillness of the house. He only gets up when he’s sure Eddie and Christopher are both asleep. Then he moves to the mirror on the dresser and takes out his bag. He grabs his makeup remover wipes and starts brushing them across his face, slowly uncovering his mark.
Once he’s done he just stands there, looking at it. His mark that links him to someone out there. The person who is supposed to be his soulmate.
He’s heard people talk about how amazing it is to find your soulmate. To find the one that was meant for you. Made for you. Buck isn’t sure he believes in all that. Sure, he has the mark. But it’s hard to believe that there’s someone out there with a matching one. Surely if there was he would have found them by now.
And there’s also the glaring problem that he’s been falling in love with someone else. Someone amazing and handsome and perfect. But completely unattainable. At least that’s what he tells himself. He’s seen Eddie shirtless plenty of times and has never once seen his soulmark. Whenever anyone brought up the topic he just brushed it off. Buck had just always believed it was Christopher’s mother.
At least until he heard Eddie telling Bobby that had been a mistake. That she had pretended to be his soulmate. Hearing that filled Buck with an unexplainable sort of rage. The fact that someone could trick Eddie like that, and then just leave him and Christopher. Buck knows that’s probably for the best. But it’s still a shitty thing to do.
And in no way means Eddie is available. At least not to him.
He tosses the wipe in the trash and shakes his head. He shouldn’t be thinking about this stuff. Not while he’s sleeping a few rooms down from Eddie. His best friend. It does him no good.
“Hey Buck.”
Buck startles and spins around when the door opens and he comes face to face with Eddie. Eddie stares at him for a moment, his eyes moving to the mark across Buck’s eyebrow, and he gasps.
“Buck…”
Buck sighs, feeling his defenses start to come up. "If you're going to make fun of it, get it over with."
Eddie just steps closer, his face in awe as he brings his fingers up to touch the mark. There are tears in his eyes as he whispers, "I was hoping it was you."
Buck just stands frozen, feeling an unusual feeling of hope clawing at his chest. "What?"
"You're my soulmate," Eddie says, giving a breathless laugh.
Rather than smiling, he narrows his eyes and tries to move back. "I don't believe you."
But oh he wants to. He's been falling in love with Eddie for months. He would give anything for him to be his soulmate. But he's afraid.
Eddie seems to understand that, because he pulls back, lifting his shirt and lowering his pants enough to reveal a mark on his hip. One identical to Buck's.
Buck is feeling dizzy as he steps closer, letting his fingers trail across the pattern. One that is familiar yet oh so different. Because it belongs to Eddie. This is real. Eddie's mark matches his.
He looks up at Eddie with wide eyes, to find him already watching him. "It is you," Buck whispers. Eddie smiles and touches his face again, fingers brushing across the mark. This time Buck leans into it. “It really is you.”
He can't stop himself from closing the distance between them and kissing Eddie. He intends for it to be quick. Just wanting to know how it feels. But then Eddie makes a noise of pleasure and wraps his free arm around Buck's waist, pulling him closer, and deepening the kiss. Buck can't put into words how right this feels. So he doesn’t try. He just gives in. He lets himself just exist in this moment with Eddie.
Eddie who is now placing kisses across his face, until he reaches Buck’s mark. His lips linger there a moment as Eddie whispers words that have tears stinging at his eyes. “You’re beautiful, Evan Buckley.”
Buck has to fight against the years worth of doubt and insecurity that have been ingrained in him. He wants to believe Eddie. So he fights against all the internalized self-hatred he’s built up, and lets himself start to believe. Lets himself love the one thing that he felt he had to hide all these years. Because it’s not just for him. Not just a piece of him. It’s Eddie too.
“I love you,” Buck murmurs, brushing his fingers across Eddie’s mark. “I’m glad it’s you.”
“So am I,” Eddie smiles and brushes his nose across his cheek. “I love you, Ev. I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. But if you’re not comfortable...”
“I am,” Buck says. “I am with you. It just might take me time with everyone else.”
Eddie nods, and kisses him softly. “Christopher is going to be happy, you know?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. He’s been telling me I should just ask you out and forget about the soulmark, since I clearly loved you regardless” Eddie says.
“Smart kid,” Buck says. “Really should listen to him more often.”
Eddie laughs, “I listen to him plenty.”
“We’ll just have to cook him a special breakfast in the morning as a thank you for being right,” Buck says.
“He’ll love that,” Eddie says. “Our first real breakfast as a family.”
A family .
Buck can’t help but smile at the words. Not only has he found his soulmate, but he has a family. One that he loved long before the whole soulmark business, and he will continue to love until he’s dust in the wind, and long after that. Buck knows he’s one lucky guy.