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Sylvain remembers a story his older brother told him once, when he was sick and delirious with the flu.
“This is a story,” Miklan had begun, and Sylvain had pouted and said “That’s not right! All stories should start with ‘Once upon a time’!”
Miklan had laughed then, smoothing out Sylvain’s hair, and said “Well, not this one. Do you want a story or not?”
Sylvain remembers groaning, before nodding in defeat.
“Well then,” Miklan had said, before restarting again, “This is a story that begins on a snowy mountain, where a family that was born of the sun used to live, before a big bad demon came and killed them all. All except for two.”
His brother had gone on like this, detailing the lives of a brother who became a demon slayer so he could cure his sister, who became a demon. All their adventures, all the people they have met, all told in a little story for Sylvain to absorb.
Sylvain had stopped him in the middle of the telling about the spider-demon fight, the part where the older brother had given a soft death to the mother-spider.
“But why give her a soft death? Wouldn’t it be easier to just go full force?”
Miklan had smiled, and said “Because, for starters, she had surrendered her life, and also, because the older brother has always, always been kind.”
---
When Sylvain is nine, he remembers trying to find his brother, because he had a nightmare but he wasn’t in his room, so he went to the training grounds.
He doesn’t speak up, because all he sudden he sees his older brother with a practice sword in his hand, spinning and striking at invisible enemies. Sylvain is mesmerised, and he can almost see waves coming off the blade, twisting like an ocean current.
Then Sylvain trips over a bench, and Miklan freezes in his movements, turning to see his brother pushing himself off the ground.
“Hey Sylvain,” He says, helping him up. “Why are you up?”
Sylvain rub at his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired. “Had a nightmare. Couldn’t sleep.”
“Aww, that doesn’t sound too good. Want me to carry you back to bed?”
Sylvain nods, and immediately Miklan scoops him up and sets him on his back, and carries him to bed.
Sylvain doesn’t really remember anything else, just that he woke up in his bed when he was sure he fell asleep on Miklan’s back.
---
When Miklan is disowned on a cold winter’s morning, with a backhanded slap that resonates throughout the dining room, Miklan only says “Okay, sir.” And he leaves the grounds, with only a few items on him.
Sylvain wants him to stay, wants him to stay and keep telling the story from so long ago, but Miklan is already walking out the gate without a second glance, so Sylvain watches from the window, already missing his older brother.
---
Miklan comes to Garreg Mach on a rainy autumn morning.
Sylvain tackles him in the entrance hall, blabbing about how he’s never going to forgive him and that Miklan is going to get disowned again, and Miklan can only laugh and pat him on the head.
“Hello Sylvain,” He says, and Sylvain almost wants to cry, almost. It’s like he’s five again, with an older brother who always knew what to say. “Sorry for not visiting.”
---
They’re fighting the thieves, when Miklan lets loose a pained shout, and Sylvain turns, the backend of his lance smacking the back of Felix’s head by accident, only to see Miklan slam into a wall and crumple against it.
And then, all the sudden, Sylvain can’t breathe anymore. He zeroes in on Miklan’s crumpled form, and he nearly loses his head hadn’t it been for Felix smacking him and yelling “Focus!”
---
“Wake up! Wake up, big brother!”
---
The monster caused by the Lance of Ruin is terrifying, and Sylvain really wishes he had something better than whatever a knife on a stick constitutes to.
Then Miklan is suddenly there, beheading the beast as he is stabbed through, and Sylvain is staring in horror as his brother falls to the ground, and whispers “I’m so sorry,” as he lands on the cold stone floor in a heap.
Sylvain wastes no time in running up to Miklan and grabbing a hold of him, hoping against all hope that his brother is somehow still alive.
He’s crying now, and he sobs over his brother’s corpse, and it’s only Mercedes’ gentle touch on his shoulder and Felix’s rougher ones that lead him away from his older brother’s corpse.
---
His father buries Miklan on the family plot despite disowning him, spilling something that he still had Gautier blood in him, but after the service attended by himself and about 10 other people, Ashe rests a hand on his shoulder and says quietly “We’ll let you have some time alone,” before running to join the others.
Sylvain, looks down at the gravestone that marks his brother’s grave and he feels his eyes watering again as he asks, “What were you sorry for?”
(There’s a voice, from someone he’s never heard from but yet he’s heard it before, someone who puts a hand callused from years of swordsmanship on his shoulder and goes “He’s apologising for leaving you all alone.”)
---
When his father hands him the Lance of Ruin, the weapon that ultimately killed his brother, he immediately hands the weapon to the professor as a way to say “I’m not ready yet.”
Because, in reality, he’ll never be ready, and he wishes that he could turn back time to when things were simpler.
---
He remembers the ending of that story that Miklan tells him.
“In the end,” he remembers Miklan saying, stroking his hair back and placing a cool towel on his forehead. “in the end, the older brother has to leave his younger sister behind.”
“Why?” Sylvain remembers asking, blinking.
“Because,” Miklan had continued, smiling softly, yet an unabashed sadness clouded his eyes. “Because in the end, like all other demon slayers, he has to die.”
Sylvain frowns at that, and asks “But can’t he survive though?”
Miklan sighs and ruffles Sylvain’s hair. “He can’t. It’s bound to happen, either way.”
“Oh…say, Miklan…”
“Yes?”
“What was their names? The brother and sister, I mean.”
“Well,” Miklan begins, leaning back in his chair, his smile warm like the sun and yet still clouded like an autumn sky. “The younger sister’s name was Nezuko Kamado. The older brother, his name was Tanjirou Kamado.”