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The resort town of Cura Requi on Glee Anselm was everything Obi-Wan expected of such a place. It was filled with quaint shops, cozy cafes, and pristine beaches as far as the eye could see. The temperature remained comfortably warm, enticing tourists into the crystal clear ocean water.
Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had had a week to become acquainted with the area, not that there was much to the town. It was a pleasant, quiet place. A perfect honeymoon getaway.
Twilight was approaching. The shops closed early in this part of the resort, and the evening entertainments hadn't started up yet. There was a quiet lull at this time of the day that Obi-Wan had come to appreciate.
He thought Qui-Gon felt the same. They had quickly settled into a routine here, and Qui-Gon seemed just as content with a nightly twilight stroll as Obi-Wan was.
Resting his head against Qui-Gon's broad shoulder, Obi-Wan walked along the boardwalk with his Master's arm slung around his waist. Qui-Gon's large hand was a solid weight on Obi-Wan's hip.
"Do you think they've noticed?" Obi-Wan murmured quietly, trying to distract himself from how good it felt to lean into his Master's warmth. At the beginning of the mission, he'd been so self-conscious about giving something away of how he felt for his Master that he second-guessed every action he took until nothing felt natural. After a week of curling up into each other's space as much as possible, Obi-Wan had grown used to being held. It was so easy to relax into this moment. Too easy.
He'd told himself repeatedly that he needed to be mindful lest he ruin everything by revealing too much. But, when he was pressed so close to his Master like this, Obi-Wan began to wonder if such a revelation would really be so bad.
Qui-Gon used his hold on Obi-Wan's hip to pull him a little closer, ostensibly to press a kiss to Obi-Wan's hair, which hid his answer. "I don't think so. We have the data chip, and no one is any the wiser."
"It's strange to stay," Obi-Wan whispered. "The mission is complete."
Qui-Gon replied with equal discretion just in case anyone might overhear. "If we left too early, we would only call attention to ourselves. We booked a standard seven-day package, after all."
Of course Obi-Wan knew all of this. They had managed to copy the data chip with apparently no one noticing. In two days, they would grab a commercial flight to Alderaan -- with all the other happy newlyweds fresh from their honeymoons -- and then on to Coruscant to deliver the incriminating evidence to the Council.
It was crucial, however, that nothing happened to upset these plans. Their target had left Glee Anselm but there was no guarantee that he didn't have more business associates hanging around this resort. He had chosen to meet with them here for some reason, and the Jedi couldn't assume that everything was as it appeared. One slip up could ruin everything. If their target knew his enterprise had been compromised, he was in a much better position to hide his criminal activities before Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan could steal a transport and get the information to the appropriate hands so a task force could be mobilized. Everything they'd worked for would be for nothing, and the whole investigation would be back to square one.
They had to flawlessly maintain their cover so no one would ever think to question that they were anything but another couple of newlyweds, which meant waiting out the standard wedding package all the newlyweds were using here.
Obi-Wan rubbed his cheek against Qui-Gon's broad shoulder. "Have you given any thought on how we should spend our last days here?"
"I'm enjoying just this," Qui-Gon said, gesturing slightly with his free hand to the area around them. "I like the quiet."
"I do too."
That seemed to be an invitation for both to lapse into silence. Still locked together, they ambled along until the shops disappeared and a grassy path led down to the beach. There were a few other couples enjoying the last vestiges of daylight -- swimming in the clear waters or laying on the sand -- but even this sparse crowd thinned to nothing as Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon wandered further down the beach.
A cliff began to grow at the edge of the beach, and the waters here were pretty but strewn with rocks that made swimming less desirable. It was highly unlikely that there were any ears to hear or eyes to spy now. Obi-Wan wouldn't risk the mission on that assumption, but it was certainly safer to speak here than anywhere else.
The change in scenery did not elicit any change in the pair of Jedi. They continued to walk in companionable silence as this part of the world tilted a little further away from its primary star, painting the sky with the last rays of the day.
They stopped to watch the sunset.
Qui-Gon's thumb stroked along the edge of Obi-Wan's swimshorts to graze along his skin. It made Obi-Wan shiver. Glancing up, Obi-Wan saw that his Master's expression was contemplative as he looked out over the sea.
Obi-Wan wondered, not for the first time, if Qui-Gon was even aware of what he was doing. The little touches and quiet intimacies had become so common in the last week that perhaps he didn't. They had to maintain cover--that was what Obi-Wan told himself -- but it hit him in this moment that there was no one around to see their charade. Even if there had been, Obi-Wan's shirt covered Qui-Gon's gesture. It was an intimacy shared just for the two of them.
Pressing his cheek against Qui-Gon's shoulder, Obi-Wan considered the implications of this. He'd been thinking of it all week, his tongue bound by fear that his own desires were painting a picture he wanted but wasn't reality.
Now, there was a new worry. It was one thing to speak and find he'd misunderstood. It was another to say nothing, and always wonder what could have been. To go back to normal life with this always hanging behind him.
With Qui-Gon holding him like this, Obi-Wan realized that he could never just put this into a box and move on as if nothing had happened. He had thought he could. The mission was so simple. There hadn't been any hitches in their performance of a newly married couple. No one had expressed any suspicion. Copying the data couldn't have gone smoother. Their target was off-world, and so far there were no associates of his to be seen. Everything would be wrapped up neatly in two days, and they would move on to the next mission. On the surface, it was a wholly unremarkable assignment.
Why, then, did Obi-Wan feel like the ground beneath his feet was no longer solid?
"Master," Obi-Wan murmured.
Qui-Gon started ever so slightly, roused from his own thoughts. "Yes?"
"I…I think I need help."
The reaction was immediate, as it always was when Obi-Wan requested aid. Qui-Gon turned so they were facing each other, big hand coming up to cup Obi-Wan's cheek. "What is it?" There was only concern in his eyes.
Obi-Wan looked down. "I'm finding it hard to be honest."
"In general? Or to me?" Qui-Gon asked, voice quiet.
Taking in a deep breath, Obi-Wan released it slowly. It was a meditative breath, pulling strength into himself as he finally looked up to meet his Master's eyes -- to meet this challenge head on.
"To be honest right now, right here. I need help, but I don't want to ask for it." He shook his head at himself, offering a faint smile. "That's not right. All I want is guidance. I'm just afraid of the answers I will get."
There was a trace of a frown on Qui-Gon's face -- the only testament to his confusion -- but he merely said, "There is no ignorance; there is knowledge."
Obi-Wan nodded, the Jedi code soothing in its familiarity. Perhaps, that was that answer. "There is no emotion; there is peace."
It wasn't the next line in the familiar Jedi mantra, and Qui-Gon clearly noted that. He took a moment to consider Obi-Wan's answer before saying, "Your emotions are not at peace?"
"It's strange, isn't it? Here, on such a peaceful world, in such a peaceful place. And, yet, all I feel is turmoil."
Qui-Gon again delayed in answering, his expression clouded for a moment. His answer could not have surprised Obi-Wan more when he said, "You are not alone in that."
"No?"
Shaking his head slightly, Qui-Gon withdrew his hand and turned his attention back out to the setting sun. "There is no chaos; there is harmony," he murmured, as if to himself.
Now Obi-Wan thought on his response. He considered what could possibly have unbalanced his Master. It couldn't be the mission. They had achieved their aims early and easily. Should anything happen now, Obi-Wan was sure they would handle it as they did all the other challenges that were thrown their way.
There was nothing here but happy honeymooners. Honeymooners and two Jedi pretending to be desperately in love.
Pretending.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and opened himself to the Force. If he was going to step beyond this moment, he needed to be bold. He could not let fear hold him back.
The Force was a reassuring blanket wrapped around him, connecting him to his Master as usual. Obi-Wan felt with the surety that only the Force could provide that this was his moment to act. He was the agent of change. The Force was strong and peaceful here. If there was disharmony, it came from the Jedi, and it was their responsibility to fix that.
Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan opened his eyes again and said, "There is no passion; there is serenity."
Qui-Gon's eyes snapped sharply to look at him, his regard far too intense for Obi-Wan's words.
Swallowing nervously, Obi-Wan nevertheless reached out to put his hand on his Master's broad shoulder and step closer so that their chests almost touched. "I've found this mission more difficult than it should be. I've realized that I don't want it to end. I don't…I don't want to go back to the Temple and return to just being your Padawan. I want more."
Qui-Gon sucked in a sharp breath. Once again he reached out to cup Obi-Wan's cheek. It was different this time. His touch was tentative, a tremble in his fingers. "You want this to be real?"
Obi-Wan could only nod. His Master studied him closely, and Obi-Wan thought perhaps there was something Qui-Gon was waiting for him to say.
But how could speak when his heart was suddenly in his throat?
Then Qui-Gon's posture relaxed -- perhaps finding what he'd been looking for -- and he offered a small smile. "I want that too."
"You do?"
His Master's touch was more confident now, his thumb stroking back and forth over Obi-Wan's cheek in a soothing gesture. Rather than answer, he said, "Obi-Wan, you asked for my help. What can I do?"
Obi-Wan swallowed again. There was almost a physical feeling to this moment, a weight hung suspended all around them as the universe waited for Obi-Wan's decision.
He could ask his Master to help him overcome these feelings, help him find the balance he needed to fulfill his lifelong desire to be a Jedi. One path.
He could ask his Master to hold him tight and never let go, abandon all that he had been taught to live his days with a man he loved to the very depths of his soul. Another path.
Or he could ask for his Master's peculiar talent of finding a third path, one no one had ever tread before.
The Force swirling lazily around them suddenly stilled, and Obi-Wan knew his answer.
Leaning his cheek into his Master's large hand, Obi-Wan said, "I am a Jedi. It is all I have ever wanted to be, but I think it is more than what I want. I know there is much I have left to learn, but I feel strongly that I am on the path the Force needs me to be on. It is not one I can simple forsake. I would only be forsaking myself."
Qui-Gon nodded, expression shuttering before Obi-Wan's eyes. He was about to withdraw his hand, but Obi-Wan anticipated him. He reached up to trap his Master's hand against his cheek and continued, "But even as I have pledged myself to the Jedi and I know my soul is pledged to the Force, I am equally yours. I belong to you. I always have. I can't just walk away. I don't want to."
Closing his eyes again, Obi-Wan gave himself over for just a moment to the feel of his Master touching him. There was such strength in the hand cupping his face. Strength but gentleness too. Obi-Wan felt to his marrow the fear that this might be the last time he would ever feel Qui-Gon's touch like this.
But if that was so, then it was so. Obi-Wan opened his eyes again, let go of Qui-Gon's hand, and met his Master's gaze levelly. "So, you see why I need help. I don't know what to do."
Qui-Gon did not react for several breathless moments. There was a slight twitch of his thumb on Obi-Wan's cheek, but that was it.
"Obi-Wan…" Qui-Gon shook his head, and it appeared he didn't know what to say.
But he knew what to do. He proved that when his hand slid from Obi-Wan's face to the back of his neck, pulling him forward into a kiss.
This was not their first kiss. That had been five days ago when they'd first arrived and were working hard to sell that they were a happy couple, newly wed but longtime lovers.
There was something different about this one, and it made Obi-Wan see the other kisses from this week for what they were -- tentative, distant, strangled by unspoken emotions.
Obi-Wan melted against his Master, the fear inside him dissolving in the wake of Qui-Gon's clear interest. His Master had been holding back too, and Obi-Wan was now discovering how good it could be when the barriers lifted.
Finally pulling back, Qui-Gon's eyes were softer than Obi-Wan had ever seen them. "Nothing would please me more than to help you in this, but if I am to do that, then you must help me as well. I don't have the answers you seek. It is something we must discover. Together."
"Together," Obi-Wan repeated, the last band of tension easing from around his chest. "I like the sound of that."
Qui-Gon's warm expression turned mischievous, heat flashing in the depths of his eyes. "We do have two more days here, and a bed fit for a king back in our hotel. Any interest in putting it to good use?"
Answering heat flared in Obi-Wan's belly. "I would like that." He didn't recognize his own voice as he spoke, the words gravelly in his suddenly dry mouth. There was a part of him that wanted to race back to the hotel this instant, and make good on the promise in his Master's tone.
But he hesitated.
Seeing this, Qui-Gon asked, "Obi-Wan?"
Tongue flicking out to wet his lips, Obi-Wan again fortified himself to reveal even more of his heart. "It's just...this isn't how I envisioned it."
"What did you envision?" Qui-Gon's tone was quiet, perhaps sensing that this was hard for Obi-Wan.
"Before, it was always in your rooms at the Temple. The big bed you have. Even though I never thought my daydreams were possible, I always imagined it…there," Obi-Wan said awkwardly, knowing that he was revealing his feelings for his Master hadn't started here on this mission.
Qui-Gon's eyes widened, and Obi-Wan could see he understood the meaning clearly enough.
His Master's smile turned soft, his expression once again tender. "Certainly your room is too small for us. When we get home, we can see if my bed is a match to the resort's."
Obi-Wan's breath hitched. Now it was his turn to understand his Master's meaning. A fear he hadn't realized still lingered -- that this one moment of joy could only exist here on this world for this mission -- evaporated away.
His Master's unspoken promise that this was the start of a long journey, and not a moment's weakness, soothed Obi-Wan.
"Ready to go back?" Qui-Gon asked. He reached out to interlace Obi-Wan's fingers with his own.
Obi-Wan's stomach was a flutter of nerves, but it was a good feeling. He nodded, filled with excitement. He was sure his Master could practically feel the emotions emanating from him, but Obi-Wan did not try to censor himself. If his Master's expression was anything to go on, Qui-Gon was very pleased with the reaction he was getting.
They took one last look at the quickly fading sun before heading back the way they'd come, hand in hand.