Work Text:
"Maybe I'm just out of line..."
The early morning sun was warm and the fall wind was pleasant against George's shoulders as he ran. He couldn't help enjoying himself on days like these, even though running wasn't his favorite thing to do first thing in the morning. He'd rather be in bed with Alex, wrapped in blankets with nowhere to go. But with Alex out of town, this would do. At least it wasn't hot.
He was almost finished when vibrating interrupted his music and signaled an incoming phone call. He slowed to a walk and checked the screen. It was Alex. He tapped the answer button quickly. "Hey."
"Hey." Alex sounded tired. "What's up?"
"Just finishing my run. Are you boarding your flight?"
"Yeah. I should land around noon."
"Okay, I'll be there to pick you up. Are you doing okay?"
Alex sighed and George could hear it over the call. "I'm okay. Just tired and want to go home."
"Yeah, I want you to be home too. It's not the same trying to call you every night as it is just asking you to come over."
"I know, and I'm sorry it took longer than I expected."
"No, no, it's okay," George hastily reassured him. "I didn't mean that. I just mean that I...miss you."
"I miss you too," Alex answered, finishing the sentence with what sounded like a yawn. In the background, a loudspeaker was crackling. "I've gotta go now. See you soon."
"See you soon. Have a safe flight."
George put the phone back into his pocket and finished his run at a light jog, heading up to the porch and into the house.
George spotted Alex right away as he made his way through the crowds and down the escalator. He smiled to himself at Alex's messy hair as he watched him, waving his arm over his head. When Alex didn't see him immediately, he called out. "Allllexxx!"
His favorite person turned and headed towards him, a smile lighting up his face despite the dark circles George could see under his eyes. George stepped forward to meet him and hugged him tightly, gently planting a kiss on his cheek. "Hey," he almost whispered into his ear.
"Hey," Alex said, kissing him back on the other cheek. George grabbed the handle of the suitcase and gently pushed Alex towards the door. "I'm right outside."
With the suitcase stowed in the trunk, they headed home, Alex leaning his head against the window, eyes closed, and George driving. He didn't say anything, even though he did want to ask about the trip, and Alex didn't say anything either. George couldn't tell if he was asleep or dozing for most of the ride, but when they pulled into George's garage, he put his hand on his shoulder and said gently, "hey, we're at my place."
Alex opened his eyes. "I thought you were going to drop me off at home."
George raised his eyebrows. "I figured you would sleep better here, with me to look after you."
Alex smiled at him and shrugged. "Okay, I'm good with that."
George got the suitcase out of the car and followed Alex into the house. Inside, Alex pulled off his hoodie, kicked off his shoes, and collapsed on the couch. George laughed at him. "Don't you think you'd be more comfortable in bed?"
Alex winked. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
George rolled his eyes and Alex laughed at him, but he got up and headed upstairs anyway, throwing himself onto the bed. George followed, bringing the suitcase with him and setting it down in the bedroom before crawling into bed next to his boyfriend.
Alex had his eyes closed again. George kissed him on the forehead and pulled the blanket over them both, and Alex curled himself closer before falling into a deep sleep on George's shoulder.
Hours later, George awoke and Alex wasn't there. He sat up, and the suitcase was still in the room, and he could hear noises as he made his way downstairs. Alex was frying some eggs on the stove and drinking a glass of orange juice.
"Morning," he said cheerfully.
George laughed. "Afternoon, you mean."
"Well, I'm terribly jetlagged, so morning it is for me."
Sitting down on a stool at the kitchen island, George watched Alex put his food on a plate. "How was your trip?"
Alex shrugged. "It was fine. Do you want any food?"
George shook his head and Alex sat down beside him to eat. "What did you do in Thailand?"
"I told you about pretty much everything on the phone. It wasn't anything special really, besides the sponsor banquet."
George felt a slight twinge of annoyance, knowing Alex wasn't telling him something. "Really? Nothing else important?"
"No, not really. How's everything here?" Alex took a bite of his breakfast food. "You're short on groceries."
"Well, you're the only one who cooks around here," George reminded him. Alex laughed. "Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell me?"
Alex looked at him with a slight frown. "What's the deal?"
"I saw the picture with Max. Someone tagged him in it on instagram. You didn't mention that he was there." George finally decided to just face the subject he had hoped to avoid.
Looking down, Alex poked at his food without answering.
"I would've thought that you would tell me that your teammate, the one whom you know I really don't like, was with you on your vacation," George continued, still annoyed that Alex hadn't taken the chance to tell him about it first.
"He was only there a week."
George made a face. "Yeah, well, I thought you'd tell me yourself. I even tried to hint about it, but you didn't. And you know he likes you."
"Does it matter? I don't like him that way," Alex argued, voice rising just a tiny bit defensively.
"Yeah, but he likes you, and I don't get why you wouldn't just tell me he was there, hanging around like a vulture-"
"Jesus Christ," Alex cut him off. "Are you seriously jealous, George? That's insane. You and I both know I don't have anything to do with Max other than as a sort of friend and teammate. I didn't mention it because you would probably get like this!"
"How would you know if you didn't tell me?" George asked, more harshly than he meant to.
"Because I already know you hate Max!" Alex wasn't yelling, but his voice was rising steadily. "I figured you would be better off not knowing!"
"Yeah, whatever," George replied, sliding off the stool. "It's been a bad couple weeks, I guess."
"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Alex asked, voice calm, sensing that there was something else underlying this argument.
"Nope," George said, and instantly regretted it, but it was too late now, and he had let himself fall down the pity party trap, comparing his drive with Williams to Alex's Red Bull seat and he felt spiteful because of it. He tried so hard to force those feelings down, constantly insisting that he was just happy for Alex, and he was, really he was, but it also wasn't easy watching his closest companion get such an opportunity years before he would have the same chance. But he'd never mentioned it, afraid to bring Alex down. Through the months he'd been stifling it, he'd never let it slip out, but now, he didn't know why he couldn't stop himself.
"You think you're better than me," he said, and he knew it was a lie, but he didn't take it back.
Alex looked taken aback entirely and confused about where this was coming from. To him, George had always seemed perfectly fine with the way things were in their teams. He knew George didn't like Max, but this? This seemed like an overreaction, to say the least, and it wasn't at all typical of George. He felt hurt, and mixed up, and jet lagged, and still tired. "I'm going home," he said after a moment, unable to think clearly. "I love you, but I'm too tired to talk about this anymore. I'll see you later."
He jumped off the stool, put his dishes in the sink, and let himself out the back door, not bothering to grab his suitcase from upstairs.
George was still buzzing with anger, not at Alex, but just at the way things had worked out for him. It had come to a head this week when he saw Max and Alex in pictures looking so proud for the cameras, meeting fans of Red Bull everywhere. It wasn't like he didn't have fans. But he felt that it was a little ironic to be a fan of Williams. Even he wasn't a fan of Williams.
Lying down on the couch, he stared at the ceiling and tried to organize his thoughts. He knew he'd been so wrong in taking it out on Alex, the person he loved most, and he knew that Alex probably didn't even understand why he was upset. After all, he'd never even tried to communicate that.
He drew his knees up to his chest and curled into a ball, letting himself spiral down into a circle of what if's. What if he never made it to any other team but Williams? What if he watch Alex succeed and he couldn't take it? What if Alex didn't want to be with him if he didn't someday make it big?
He closed his eyes and tried to sleep again, feeling like the rift between himself and Alex was a hole in the fabric of the universe. Nothing felt right.
Eventually he slept, and when he woke, hours later, he felt worse. Now that he'd slept off the self-pity, all that remained was the knowledge that he had been deeply, terribly rude to Alex. That was totally uncalled for, and sure, he hadn't slept well the entire two weeks Alex had been away, but he still had no reason to go off on him like that.
He got up off the couch and found his phone. There were no messages or calls, but he wasn't surprised. He called Alex.
There was no answer.
Throwing the phone on the couch, George curled into a ball again next to it and put on the TV. He didn't watch it though, because he was staring at his phone, waiting for Alex to call him back.
After a half hour, there was still nothing. So, George called again.
Again, no answer.
Feeling worse by the minute, George laid down yet again and stared ahead, mentally kicking himself over and over for the whole situation. Alex would come around, of course. But every second that he and Alex were at odds felt totally wrong and disruptive. He texted Alex. Hey, are you okay? I want to talk.
He waited, but there was nothing.
Finally, after two hours, he couldn't stand it. He got up, brought down Alex's suitcase, put on his shoes, and decided to go over and bring it to him.
It was a short walk, and he let himself in the back with his key. The house was quiet, and for a moment, he didn't know if Alex was even home. Making his way through to the living room, he found himself smiling at the disorganization. Alex was so good at so many things, but he was not a neat person. He was so scatterbrained, forever losing things and forgetting things and relying on George to find them and remember them. George put the suitcase down in the hallway and quietly made his way upstairs.
He found Alex in his bedroom, asleep. No wonder he hadn't answered any calls.
George wasn't sure if Alex was angry at him, but he decided he couldn't deal with being at odds anymore, so he gently laid down next to his boyfriend and ran his hand carefully along the outline of Alex's face before lightly kissing him just below his ear. Alex didn't stir, so George just stayed next to him, closing his eyes and leaning his head against Alex's dark hair. He felt drowsy again and again he blamed his recent lack of sleep, remembering how every night he felt like he woke up much too often.
Alex twitched slightly just as George was about to fall asleep and he felt Alex's arms wrapping around him. "George," Alex whispered, and George was awake.
"Hey," he whispered back, fingers jumping up to trace Alex's upturned face. Alex kissed him, full on the lips, and George melted into him, wanting to be close, wanting Alex to forgive him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered against Alex's cheek. "I was way out of line saying those things to you. I didn't mean it."
"I know, I know," Alex reassured him, playing with George's now unruly hair. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"
"It's not about Max," George admitted with a sigh. "And I'm sorry. I know why you didn't mention it. But the truth is that I just get jealous of you, and your team, and how fast you've made it there, while I...while I'm still at Williams, playing back marker and obeying blue flags."
Alex was looking at him, brown eyes meeting his.
George swallowed hard. "I'm so proud of you," he whispered, squeezing Alex's hand, "but sometimes I feel doubt about my own side of things, and I took that out on you. I'm sorry."
Alex kissed him again, brushing his fingers through George's hair over and over. "It's okay," he murmured sleepily, smiling a bit. "I forgive you. And I know you'll make it. I'm not worried about you. You're George Russell. You'll be on top someday."
George laughed lightly. "I love you."
"Love you too," Alex mumbled against George's neck, and he felt a slight shiver as he tilted his head down and found Alex's lips again, kissing him repeatedly. Alex was smiling through the kisses and George stopped thinking about Williams or Red Bull and just thought about how glad he was that Alex was back home.