Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Close Encounters of the Idiot Kind

Chapter 1 First Contact

THUMP.

The dull but loud noise echoed through the totally silent cabin.

The sound stirred you but it was an all too familiar one. It happened every once in awhile and was no major concern to you. You rolled your eyes beneath their lids and you sleepily turned over onto your side.

You half mumbled and half yelled something incoherent at the source of the racket, hoping she would hear you. It was in the middle of the night and you had no desire to glance at your clock to see what time it was.

THUMP.

You growled beneath the sheets of your bed. Grudgingly, you poked your head out from underneath the warm cocoon of covers. Then you opened your eyes and caught sight of your digital alarm clock. You blinked your eyes, still more asleep than awake.

"It's three thirty in the goddamn morning..!" you grumbled. "Go back to bed, Baby! This is ridiculous…"

Sometimes she heeded your drowsy requests. Other times, she wouldn't and would persist with stomping until you came up to her. You honestly hoped that this was one of those times she would leave you be and let you sleep.

THUMP.

"You little shit," you muttered. "I'm gonna turn you into a pair of mittens."

Surrendering to the demands of your pampered pet, you sat up. You were reluctant to get out of your warm, comfortable bed at this hour but Baby was giving you no choice tonight. The sooner you dealt with this, the sooner you'd get back to bed and salvaging a few more hours of sleep.

You threw your covers off and instantly you were met with the chilly air of the cabin you lived in. You slid out of your bed and groaned as you felt your knee pop whenever you stood up and made your way to the door.

"If you want blueberries, you can forget it," you called out to her. "You're definitely not getting treats after pulling this crap."

As soon as you opened up the bedroom door, she stomped again. Baby also grunted rather loudly, conveying her displeasure at whatever was going on. Despite being a rabbit, she was pretty vocal. Sometimes it startled you whenever she grunted or snorted even in the simple act of eating or seeking attention from you.

Her cage was down the hallway and around the corner. As you drew closer to her enclosure, you could hear her digging frantically and pouncing about in her enclosure. She sounded panic. When the loudness and urgency of her racket finally registered to you, that's when all the anger you had towards her instantly melted away.

"Baby, what's up?" you said, your voice still groggy and addled by sleep.

The large, mixed rabbit stomped again for the umpteenth time and she got up on her hind legs, trying to reach you. You put your hand against the bars of her cage, wanting her to sniff you and let her know you were there. Baby seemed placated for a moment but she quickly bolted to the other side of her cage and pounded her back feet on the bottom of it once again.

Something wasn't right.

You slowly stood up, looking around the darkened living room. Your eyes had already adjusted to the dark but you still studied your surroundings, trying to see if anything was out of place. All seemed calm and nothing looked like it was out of place. Visually, all was well.

But your other senses knew something was wrong.

You couldn't hear the soft noise of the crickets outside. Everything was totally silent.

Then something else occurred to you. Your other housemate was nowhere to be found.

"Bambi!" you whispered loudly. "C'mere!"

Your dog was nowhere to be found. The large mutt never wandered too far and you kept him indoors during the evening. The last thing you needed was him bolting after deer or some other animal in the middle of the night.

With each second that ticked by, it made you feel all the more uneasy and wary. Something was wrong.

"Bambi!" you called out again, this time a little louder.

When you said his name a second time, you heard him from the kitchen. You hustled to said location, eager to get to the bottom of whatever was going on.

Upon entering the kitchen, you could see him sitting down. The large, Rottweiler-Bernese Mountain dog mix was staring intently at the door leading out to the modest deck that overlooked the surrounding area. Bambi was growling quietly and a small stream of saliva was pouring from the corner of his mouth. Something was freaking him out.

"Bambi," you whispered. You knelt down but kept your distance, not wanting to startle him while he was so on edge. "What's wrong?"

The mutt rotated between growling and whining, belying his fear but also trying to assert his role as protector of the abode. Some hair was sticking up on his haunches, further revealing his emotions. Your normally relaxed, friendly yet cautious dog was acting like a terrified puppy.

You have never seen him act this way before. And that's when you started to become afraid as well.

The various possible scenarios ran through your head. Perhaps it was a bear roaming about, trying to eat as much as it could before it could begin its hibernation in a few weeks. Perhaps some poachers were prowling around outside your property. You had found activity of them and you had sabotaged some of their traps plenty of times before.

But these didn't seem right. Bambi was familiar with bears although he wasn't dumb enough to outright challenge one. He was more than aware of their scent and the noises they made. The mutt also was all too aware of people. He met many folks over the years, consisting mainly of passing hikers and rangers. It was simply unlike him to be so afraid and defensive of a person.

"You stay right there," you instructed your dog.

You backed out of the kitchen and ran back to your bedroom. Time was of the essence and you needed to be prepared.

You knelt down beside your bed and hastily fished out a long carrying case from underneath it. You unzipped it and pulled out the twelve gauge shotgun that was contained within it. A few shells were also in the container and you carefully loaded your firearm. The ammunition fluidly slid into the chamber and you remembered to make sure the safety was on. You had no desire to shoot until you knew what was going on. It was a mistake you had avoided and still wanted to keep that way.

Then you fished around your bedside nightstand, looking for your headlight. As much as you would look like a dweeb with the device on your forehead, you wanted both of your hands on the shotgun.

A few seconds later you found the device and strapped it to your head. After testing that the light was bright and powerful, you grabbed your gun and made your way out of the bedroom.

You spun around upon remembering you had needed your cell phone. Luckily, it was sitting next to your alarm clock and your hand slapped down on it. Then you chucked it into your pocket and finally exited the room.

Baby was still huddled in a corner and Bambi was most likely still in the kitchen where you left him. Both of them were still scared out of their wits. You were going to try your best to make that terror go away despite your own mounting doubt and worry.

You made your way to the front door and found yourself hesitating for a moment. But you gathered your courage and unlocked it. If it was a poacher, by God, you were going to rip into them. They weren't going to linger in your zone if you had any say in the matter. You took your job quite seriously.

Your hand rested on the door knob and turned it. Then you pushed the door open, exposing yourself to the crisp and dark autumn night.

As soon as the door opened, you heard Bambi scamper out of the kitchen. He nearly ran into the back of your legs and you turned to face him.

"Bambi, stay," you said in an authoritative and calm tone. "You're scared so you stay behind. God, I almost wish it’s a bear…"

The mix whined loudly and watched as you passed beneath the doorframe. He bounded in place and barked, wanting you to come back in. You hushed him and walked the few steps from the front porch to the top of the wooden stairs.

The stairs lightly creaked beneath you and your boots trod upon the dry, shriveled, dead leaves at your feet. The smell of autumn was strong in the air. The crickets were still silent. Clouds danced across the inky sky, covering the waxing crescent moon in a veil. Despite the stillness, there was a faint breeze and you could've sworn you got a smell of something…acrid.

As your eyes further adjusted to the darkness, you swore you something upon the ridge some miles away. There was a reddish orange glow and it was flickering gently. In fact, it was reminiscent of a flame. That was not a designated camping zone.

Your eyes widened as you continued to stare at the suspected fire on the ridge. Perhaps it was a plane crash. You might've not heard it but your keen animals most likely did. Maybe the racket had spooked them. It suddenly made perfect sense to you.

"Oh my God," you breathed, feeling the color leaving your face.

If it was a plane, there were possibly survivors. Or if it was the worst case, there were casualties. This was beyond your power and job description. You had to wait for the authorities.

With one hand clasping your shotgun to your chest, you used your free one to grasp your cell phone. Though the reception could be spotty every once in awhile, luck was on your side this time.

As you were about to dial for emergency services, you nearly dropped your phone. Bambi let out the most chilling, deep, awful howl you've ever heard him release. You visibly shook at the noise and your heart pounded rapidly in your chest.

Something felt terribly, terribly wrong. You could feel it in your very marrow. Your animals knew something you didn't and that scared you to death. He was warning you and he wanted you back in the house.

Then he started to bark ferociously. Bambi sounded as if he turned into some sort of hellhound. His barks were deep, threatening and you thought you could feel them rattle the very bones in your body from the intensity.

Slowly, you began to walk backwards. Your head was on a swivel, carefully surveying the clearing your house was situated on and the forest that surrounded it. You would not make any quick movements to alert whatever the Hell was hanging around. Though you had no idea what was happening and you were petrified, you wanted to act as calmly as possible.

"Bambi," you said. You wanted your voice to be clear and concise but it came out as a whisper. Even you couldn't deny to yourself how freaked out you were. "I'm coming, take it easy..!”

When you looked dead ahead at the tree line, something stuck out to you. It was something that wasn't there seconds ago. Your headlight shone on a figure that was leaning against one of the tree trunks that stood about a hundred and fifty feet away. You could feel the color leave your face and your fingers hung loosely. Even from afar, you could see this…thing all too clearly.

Bambi's insistent and wild barking seemed to have gone muted as you stared at the figure dead ahead. Nothing else seemed to exist to you as you gazed at the object. Your eyes were enormously wide and you found it difficult to even breathe.

There was this exceptionally tall, painfully thin creature standing right before you. Its skin had an unmistakable green tint to it and its large, luminous eyes were colored purple. The suit it wore was purple as well and it appeared as if it was dirty and torn in some places. It looked like four, long, spindly, mechanical limbs sprouted from its back. The metal appendages seemed to support its sagging, weary-looking frame.

You forgot you were still barely holding onto your shotgun. But shooting this creature was the least of your worries. All that mattered was getting away from it as quickly as possible.

Without a word, you turned and bolted back to your house, running faster than you ever had in your entire life. You'd get inside, hunker down with your animals, call the authorities and not leave until someone showed up. At this point, you'd leave nothing to chance.

To your horror, you could hear scuttling and the subtle tapping of its artificial limbs as it started to chase you. The shuffling of the dead leaves grew louder as it got closer. Bambi had moved from his spot in the doorway and was on top of the stairs now, still barking away, his jaws foaming and his teeth ready to crush and tear.

"Bambi, get in!" you screamed.

The dog ran back inside as you drew closer, waiting for you to enter. You could've sworn you could feel the creature breathing down your neck but you made it to your front door before it could intercept you. With all your strength and speed, you slammed the door shut and locked it, almost rattling your whole house in the process. There was an audible thud against the door as the figure had undoubtedly crashed against it and was unable to stop in enough time.

Bambi threw his weight against the door, snarling and barking away as he sought to drive off the intruder. You turned off the safety mechanism on your shotgun and you pumped it.

"Bambi, come!" you commanded. "Come here!"

The Rottweiler mix pawed at the base of the doorframe for a few more seconds but gave up his attack and went to your side. He stood behind you, growling and snarling.

Your gun was aimed directly at your door. Although you didn't want to blow your door off its hinges, if this thing was going to come in through that way, you were going to shove it back out at pointblank range. Yes, you were mortified by this turn of events but you weren't going to curl up and surrender. How dare this thing harass your pets and charge after you.

You nearly opened fire when you heard a knocking at your door. You yelped loudly at the noise and your frame trembled like a leaf in a windstorm.

"You, Earth creature!"

Your mouth gaped when you actually understood this thing. It was directly addressing you. You had no idea how to react and for a moment, you almost lowered your firearm.

You could see and hear the thing rattle your door knob. That action snapped you back to reality. You weren't going to be lured in or deceived somehow, someway.

"Get out of here!" you retorted. "Get out or I'll pump you full of lead!"

"Open this door now!" the voice insisted.

"What the Hell are you?! What are you doing here?! What're you doing skulking around in the middle of the night?!"

"I refuse to be kept out here in the wilderness like this! I'm not an animal! I command you to let me in! Do it, she-beast, or I'll be very upset!"

"I don't take orders from you!"

The rattling at your door stopped and you could hear the artificial limbs click and clack against the side of your house. You stared up at the ceiling, disbelieving this thing scaled up to your roof in no time at all. Bambi snarled and paced about angrily. Baby was huddled in a corner beneath the wooden box she loved to hide under.

"Let's make a deal, Human harpy!" the entity called out. "You left your communication device outside and I have it now."

Your stomach dropped into your feet and you felt as if you were going to puke. Panic and anxiety churned in your guts and you felt far more vulnerable and helpless than you did before. How could you be so stupid as to leave your phone outside? You must've dropped or forgotten it while you were busy with running away from this creature.

"I will return your device to you if you allow me in," it continued. "If you refuse, I'm going to cut the power to your dwelling and you can sit in the dark."

"You can't threaten me!" you argued, aiming your gun at the ceiling. "If you think you can come in here, you're mistaken! My dog doesn't like you and I will let him tear you to pieces!"

You could hear it groan loudly in disappointment and frustration. Seconds later, the nightlights you had on fizzled out.

A colorful curse slipped from your mouth and you tried in vain to turn your living room lights on. You flicked the switch numerous times but to your horror, you were without power. Now you couldn't even use your landline to call for help.

"This can't be happening…" you muttered to yourself. "Oh my God, this can't be real..!"

The tapping resumed and you could hear the thing scale down your cabin again. Bambi growled loudly as it loomed outside your door once more.

"Let's try this again." The voice, which you began to believe was masculine, albeit a bit soft and higher pitched, sounded sickeningly sweet. "Are you still there?"

"You better believe it," you snapped. "I ain't afraid of the dark."

"One way or another, I am getting in. Now it all depends on how you want this to go. Am I going to have to smash one of the windows or break your door down?"

"You threaten me and ignore my questions and you expect me to let you into my place? You're as stupid as you are crazy."

"I'd say you're the dumb one considering you won't let me in. But fine, I'll at least explain myself. If I am to come in, I don't want my shelter damaged too much anyway. My ship crashed a ways from here and I'm trying to lay low. Your house was the closest one to me so I want to come in for some shelter because I refuse to remain out here like some filthy animal!"

This thing was an alien..?

It made total sense now. The crash was this visitor's ship and he certainly didn't look like an inhabitant of Earth. This marooned alien was now threatening you and you had no way to call for help. He more than likely had technology on hand that would make short work of you in an instant. The odds were definitely not in your favor tonight.

It was too much for you to process and it happened way too quickly for your liking. As much as you didn't want to deal with this voyager, neither did you want him to destroy your house or possibly kill your pets if it came down to it. You hated it but you'd have to deal with him for now. You had to give in and share your home with him.

"Hello?" his tone was insistent and impatient. "Are you stupid and deaf?"

"Do not make me reconsider this," you warned him. "I'm letting you in only because I don't want you trashing my home."

"Sheesh, it's about time! Open up! And put that gun down too!"

You grimaced but you complied with him. Carefully, you set your shotgun down.

"Let me unlock the door and when I tell you to come in, come in," you instructed. "I have to hold my dog back so he doesn't turn you into a chew toy."

"Alright, alright just hurry up!" he demanded.

You stepped forward and unlocked the door. Then you took the few steps back and grasped onto Bambi's collar. He was one hundred and forty pounds of muscle and fur and you hoped you would truly be able to restrain him if he lunged at the alien.

"Come in!" you signaled.

You tightened your grip on your dog and knelt down. You whispered comfortingly to him and kept close to Bambi, wanting to reassure and calm him. He wasn't happy at all with this turn of events but you would do what you could do to control him.

Your doorknob turned and the door creaked open rather loudly. Within no time, your eyes fell upon the familiar figure you saw at the tree line.

As soon as you saw him, the mechanical limbs somehow seemed to fold up and retract into his back. His large, purple eyes appeared to gleam even in the darkness. There was a snide, bratty smile on his face and you didn't notice the two black antennae on the back of his head until that moment. Now that he was so close, you finally realized how tall he really was. He seemed to tower over you and that sent a chill down your spine.

"You should feel honored, Earthling," he said in a haughty tone. "Not many aliens receive a Tallest as a guest in their pitiful and filthy home!"

Chapter Text

Chapter 2 The Emperor and the Peasant

Bambi was not amused in the slightest bit. To further display his irritation and fury, he lunged at the visitor, almost ripping your arm out of its socket in the process. Perhaps if you were less fit, that would've happened and Bambi would be tossing this creature around like a rag doll. Amazingly, you held onto the huge dog, your determination and adrenaline keeping him restrained for the moment. If he attempted to get at the alien again, who knew if you'd be lucky enough to hold him back a second time.

The green humanoid seemed a bit intimidated by the obvious aggression Bambi was expressing. You could see that his purple eyes were widened larger than earlier and he seemed to inch past him. Bambi's eyes pinned on the alien's thin frame, refusing to look away for an instant.

"Can't you control that ugly beast?!" the alien griped.

"Genius, why do you think I told you to come in when I told you so?" you practically snarled back at him. "My dog has never dealt with an alien before, albeit a rude one at that."

You pulled Bambi closer to your frame and sat down on the couch behind you. Firmly but gently, you pulled the mutt more towards you and pressed your knees against his sides, forbidding further movement. Your arms wrapped around his neck, rubbing him and getting him to calm down. For the sake and safety of your animals, you'd deal with this.

"Your home is small!" he whined.

"If you don't like it, you're free to leave," you retorted. "You should've listened to me when I told you to take a hike earlier!"

"I'm not leaving!" He folded his arms across his chest. There was a pouting sort of expression to his face. "Like I said earlier, your house is closest to where I crash landed and I'd prefer to not stay outside if I can."

"Then I suggest you get comfy and be thankful."

The alien blinked and backed up. He continued to do so until his back collided with the object behind him. His fingers came into contact with a row of bars and his fingertips brushed against the smooth, skinny metal.

You watched as he turned around to face Baby's cage. He peered into her enclosure and to your surprise, she was out. She was as still as a stone and her large, dark eyes were focused on the stranger lingering by her cage.

In an instant, she grunted loudly and leapt forward, biting one of his fingers. After that, she stomped and retreated to her sanctuary in the corner of her habitat. Apparently, she was as equally displeased with this visitor as her canine sibling was.

If things weren't so serious, you would've bursted out laughing at what just happened. A part of you felt some sadistic form of satisfaction seeing the alien cry out in pain and alarm and waved his hand in some vain effort to rid himself of the pain. It served him right for being an insufferable ass right off the bat.

"What is wrong with these Earth beasts?!" he complained. "You're their master, control them!"

"I'd bite you too if I was a rabbit and some freak from another planet was outside of my cage!" you replied.

"Just so you know, she-beast, I am an Irken!"

"Did you just call me 'she-beast'?"

"I'll keep calling you a 'she-beast' if you keep calling me a 'freak'. Then again, I can't give you any guarantees, Earthling. You are a lower life form after all." He had a cheeky grin on his face as he addressed you. "So what's it gonna be?"

If you hadn't been holding your dog back, you probably would've punched him so hard, you would've snapped his neck. In that instant, you were awfully tempted to release Bambi and let him do the deed. But you exercised greater personal strength and managed to resist the temptation. You reminded yourself that this whole situation was temporary…God willing.

"Okay, look," you sighed. Bambi wriggled around in your grasp still, his noise having lessened considerably but still remaining defensive and unhappy. "You're my guest. Take a seat. I'm doing this for you so I'd like you to do something for me in return."

"Man, you're so demanding!" he sighed in a frustrated way.

"Listen up, princess, you're really trying my patience!" you growled.

"'Princess'?"

The offended and self conscious look on his face was more than worth it. Inwardly, you smiled and relished in this. If he was going to call you names, you could return the favor just as well.

"Yes," you emphasized. "You sure act like one!"

"For your information, I'm a male and I'm more like an emperor!" he corrected you, his tone sounding peeved. "I am the ruler of the vast and powerful Irken Empire!"

If this was the case, you seriously were not impressed. It was hard to believe that he was in control of anything from what you had noticed so far. Maybe he was the emperor of space divas.

"Okay, well, pardon me," you said bluntly.

"You may call me, My Tallest!" he remarked. He straightened himself to his full height and held his head up high.

"…you've got to have an actual name."

"I do."

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"I'm not used to this since this is so degrading." He huffed indignantly. "Everyone calls me 'My Tallest'."

"You're staying in my house and I want your real name. I'm not one of your subjects so I'm not calling you by your title. So…name, please."

The Tallest grimaced at your tenacity. As time wore on, he grew weary and only wanted to settle into the shelter he had and figure out what to do from there. In the meantime, he would cave in to your demands.

"Purple," he said.

Pft. You could've guessed that on your own. You half expected his name to be something ridiculous and exotic along the lines of Galaxhar, Emprosius or Quazrok. Or Princess.

"Okay, Purple," you said, easily memorizing his name.

"Now you give me yours," he said.

And so you did.

"Now, let's try to be levelheaded and responsible adults," you said.

You noticed Bambi became more at ease and accepting of the Irken ruler's presence. The dog was of course reluctant that this thing was in his house but he had calmed down considerably. If you remained calm and even toned, it would serve to placate him even more. If Purple was going to remain with you longer than a day or so, you wanted to make sure Bambi wouldn't kill him when you weren't around to restrain him.

"I've got plenty of questions," you elaborated.

"Well, sure you do," Purple stated. "How often do you Earthlings see someone from outside of your world? Your planet is pretty much in backwater territory. I'm sure it must be difficult for you to understand."

"No, not necessarily." You bit back a smart reply. "I've always believed there was something out there. With the universe being as big as it is, it'd be stupid if absolutely nothing existed outside of Earth. It's literally impossible for us to be the only life. It's a no brainer and not that hard to comprehend."

"Oh, you have no idea what's out there…"

He finally took a seat in your recliner. A smile cracked across his face as he relaxed on the plush, cushioned seat and got comfortable. You groaned internally as he claimed your chair but you weren't going to harp on that too much for now. You needed answers.

Now that some of your irritation, fear, desperation and anger dissipated, you finally took in the fact you had a real live alien in your house. You found yourself staring at him, a little astonished as the reality sunk in more and more. What was unfolding was either someone's deepest nightmare or greatest dream.

"Right…" You stroked Bambi's head soothingly. "What brings you here? What is an alien ruler doing on some supposedly hick planet?"

Purple's antennae twitched. His eyes narrowed momentarily and he seemed to be deep in thought. You remained silent, not wanting to goad him for the moment. You were very much curious as to what he was doing here. You'd shut up and cooperate.

"I'm on the run," he revealed after a few moments of silence. "I had to flee here for my own good. It was either that or risk having those stupid Resisty knuckleheads getting my hide!"

"So, who are they?" you pressed. "Traitors? Rebels? People who opposed your empire?"

His eyes narrowed even more so than they did earlier. His lips curled back, revealing his sharp, segmented teeth. The very recollection boiled his blood and his clawed fingers dug into the seat's armrests.

"All of the above," he dourly commented.

You had to admit, his anger made you uncomfortable. If you were being honest with yourself, you'd see that it even scared you a bit. You could feel and hear his emotions all too easily. Those few words seemed to speak volumes.

Bambi growled lowly, sensing the tension and leaning against you. The dog hopped up onto your lap, laying across it. You grimaced at the weight but were merely happy he was settling down at long last. You continued to keep a hand around his collar to be on the safe side.

"I came here because I know they wouldn't think about coming here," he resumed. "As a Tallest, I'm a very influential and powerful figure. I'm one of the main targets for enemies of the Irken Empire."

"So you're worried about getting assassinated pretty much," you deduced. "I get it. But why are you being targeted? Is it because your people made too many enemies?"

"…you could say that."

"Sounds like the Roman Empire…"

"The what..?"

"The Roman Empire. It was an empire of a civilization that existed on my planet many years ago. It was literally so big that after time, it just collapsed. It fell due to invaders and having too many enemies from all sorts of other nations. That and there was corruption, greed, laziness and some other factors but that's the gist of it."

"The only reason why I'm telling you these things is so that you stop pestering me. And as I'm sure you realize, I need shelter in the meantime. I need to lay low and make sure I'm not found. Your isolation and primitive dwelling will only make it safer for me and harder for any assassins to track me down."

"Does anyone possibly know where you've gone?"

"There was Red, my co-Tallest…"

Oh God. There were two of these obnoxious emperors?

"But we dropped communications with each other some months ago. I haven't spoken to him since and I've been on my own. I have no idea where he is or if he's still alive."

There was an unmistakable hint of concern in his voice. Actually, it caught you off guard. For an instant, he didn't seem like he was the selfish alien you nearly shot not too long ago. A surge of pity filled you.

"You're a refugee," you said. "I appreciate you explaining this all to me. It makes sense…"

"I'm hungry!" he cut in. "What do you have to eat?"

You weren't expecting that. What did aliens eat? What could you give him? Would he spontaneously combust if you tried to give him pretzels?

"Uh, well…" you said sheepishly. "I don't think I'm properly equipped for unexpected guests of the extraterrestrial kind…"

"You have any chips?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. "Taquitos? Soda? Donuts? Chocolate?"

How was this possible..?

"I have some chocolate in my fridge," you said. Despite having it, you were still reluctant to feed him it.

"Get it for me!" he commanded.

"I'm sorry, I think you'll have to do it on your own."

"What did you say?"

"I've calmed my dog and I don't want to move. He might get mad and he might try to attack you again."

It looked like he was seriously evaluating your claim. There was some snide sarcasm in your voice but you also spoke the truth. You knew that he was aware your words were double edged. Bambi was content on your lap and wanted him to remain complacent for as long as possible.

"Fine," he drawled, looking quite annoyed. "Where's a service drone when you really need one?"

"Sorry, Purple, but I do my own work here. You'll have to follow my example if you're going to stay here."

"Obviously, you're too poor and lowly to have servants of your own." His tone was catty. Then he pulled out your phone from within his robes. "Take it back."

He tossed it to you and you luckily managed to catch it. Concerned, you checked it over, making sure it was in ship shape.

"The kitchen is off to the right," you said, checking the time on the clock. It was almost four in the morning. "Help yourself to whatever you need."

He gave you no reply and went to the directed area. You cringed as you realized you were going to have to get up after all. He was indeed from another planet and it was more than likely he didn't know anything about his surroundings. You'd have to end up babysitting an adult alien.

"Bambi, move," you said softly, squirming beneath the mass of the dog.

He was unwilling to budge, wanting you to remain on the couch. As you persisted, he grunted and gave in to your demand. Bambi leapt off the couch, permitting you to stand back up.

"Be nice," you firmly commanded him.

His large head was turned to the kitchen and you could see that he was still quite unsettled. But he could sense your acceptance with the situation and that calmed him in return. Still, he was cautious and would watch this visitor. He refused to trust the Irken.

You could hear a crash coming from your kitchen and you bolted to that room. The room was quite dark since the power outage and you had no idea what had caused the racket.

As soon as you walked in, you could hear your boots trample in something wet. Swearing under your breath, you turned on your flashlight and beheld your spilled fruit juice. The container was wide open and tilted onto its side in the refrigerator, a waterfall of the juice spilling from it and running over the floor.

"Hey!" you cried.

Hastily, you righted the bottle up in its correct position and put the cap back on.

"It smelled gross," he said.

"If you don't like it, don't let it go to waste," you chastised him. You grabbed some paper towels and started cleaning up the mess he made. "I drink this every morning!"

You could hear him chewing on something loudly. You shone the light on him, watching him shove a whole candy bar into his mouth as if it was nothing.

"Got anything else?" he talked while his mouth was still full.

"You literally came at the worst time," you sighed. "I was going to get groceries either tomorrow or the next day. I need to stock up on a lot of things."

"If that's the case, I'll make a list of things you can get for me."

"How the hell can you eat chocolate? I thought it'd be toxic for you..?"

He shrugged and swallowed it down. Then he turned and started rummaging through your cabinets for more food.

"My diet consists of sugars and carbohydrates," he said. "And lots of it. I hope your job pays you well, Earth woman. I eat a lot and yet I can still maintain this thin and handsome frame!"

If your eyes rolled any harder back into your skull, you'd see your brain. What the Hell did you get yourself into?

"Fantastic," you muttered under your breath. "Goddamn freeloader."

You could hear the crinkle of a bag and you tried to ignore it, preferring to let him feed and pretend he wasn't even there. But you paused when you heard the crinkling sounding more insistent and intentional. Still, you disregarded it, wanting to clean up your kitchen.

When he cleared his throat loudly, you finally acknowledged him. Purple was holding up a bag of chocolate cake mix and was staring back at you expectantly. You only stared back at him, sensing what was on his mind.

"I am not making a cake for you at four AM," you said.

"Yes, you are," he argued.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Why? You have to!"

"Because I need have more important things to do!"

"Like what?"

You felt as if you were going to have an aneurysm.

"I had to clean up the mess that you created," you said, your patience drastically melting away. "I have to report your crash to the authorities and remove it from the land. That is going to take all damn day! My boss and the authorities are going to question me and ask me as much as they can about the situation. They're gonna know it's a vehicle of some sort and they're gonna realize it's not from this planet. Potentially, this is a very hairy situation. Do you understand me?"

"It can't be that bad!" He waved a hand dismissively.

"You dense idiot, if they figure out I'm hiding something or withholding information of some sort, they're gonna come into my house and find you. And let me tell you, if they find you, it's game over for the both of us. They'll probably throw me in jail and you'll be hauled off to some secret government stronghold and dissect you or question you or something along those lines. Whatever it is, I guarantee, it won't end well for you."

He went silent at your words. The cake mix that was in his other hand slipped from his grasp and fell to the floor.

"Okay…" he said, sounding a bit anxious. "Cake can wait. I'll just eat some of these cookies I found."

"I suggest you hide in my guest bedroom and stay in there until I come back in for the day," you said. "Don't make a peep, don't leave the house and stay away from the window, for the love of God. No one can know you're here."

"Don't worry, I don't want your fellow, primitive, savage, stink-beasts catching wind of me!"

"Then you'll do as I tell you."

He was displeased with that but he knew it was true. There was a bounty on his head and many across the universe were more than happy to track him down and bring him in, dead or alive, for their generous rewards. Though Purple had no desire to admit it, not even to himself, but he was now more vulnerable than he ever was in his entire life. As much as he hated it, he'd have to trust and rely upon this Earthling for now. In the meantime, he'd have to bide his time and wait. That was the only choice he had. As far as he knew, he still wanted to live.

"Fine," he sneered.

"Good," you replied with an equal amount of vitriol in your voice. "Oh and that's right, I gotta get the power company to fix my line too! Everything in my fridge is going to spoil! This is the start of a perfect day!"

You left the kitchen, preferring to not interact with the Tallest anymore. It would feel good to get out of your cabin and be away from him for some time. Already, he was turning into the worst houseguest you've ever had.

You grabbed your cell phone and walked out onto your front porch. Bambi was close to follow you and you were relieved he was sticking close and choosing to not attack the Irken.

You walked out into the open, still spotting the fire on the ridge. Luckily, it didn't seem to be spreading or growing since you first caught sight of it. Mentally, you cursed yourself, knowing you should've reported this far earlier but you were legitimately preoccupied until that moment.

You brought up your contacts list and sought out your superior officer's phone number. You only hoped he was awake by now.

The phone only rang two times before you heard the man's voice. You breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're up early," he said. He sounded like he was in a good mood.

"Morning, Ted," you replied. "Sorry to bug you but I have to report an incident in my zone."

"What happened? Is everything alright?"

"I'm standing on my property and looking at the ridge. I see a fire. I don't think it's some hikers camping there, Ted. I think something might've crashed there. You gotta call the emergency services and see what's going on."

You could hear some silence on his end, knowing this surprised him. The quiet made you increasingly nervous with the looming situation. You had no idea what the future had in store and that actually mortified you.

"Okay, let me get some folks up to the site," the senior ranger decided after a few moments of silence. "Get dressed, grab your ATV and meet me at the start of the Coronary Trail. Just be careful and have your wits about you."

Chapter Text

Chapter 3 Pieces on the Board

"What you saw was an experimental, crashed drone from another country. That was what you saw, nothing more, nothing less. There's nothing else to elaborate on or comment on further. Have I made myself perfectly clear, Miss?"

Numbly, you nodded your head at the agent's not too thinly veiled threat. There was nothing else you could say about the matter at hand. You wanted this to be done and over with.

It was all a crock of shit, a lie, a ruse, a cover up. You heard your fair share of stories about government conspiracies and the claims of people who said they were in the middle of them. Once upon a time, they were the same folks you labeled as mentally ill paranoiacs. You didn't realize until this moment that you were the star of your very own conspiracy tale. Now you'd be the crazy one.

"I want to hear you say that you understand me," the burly, somber agent retorted.

"I understand perfectly, sir," you answered, feeling breathless and all too intimidated.

Honestly, the experience was jarring and unsettling. By the time Ted got a hold of the local authorities, it took no time at all for those men to call in the "other" folks. No sooner than two hours after you and Ted made it to the crash site, the federal authorities arrived and had taken total control of the situation.

You were thoroughly questioned and interviewed about the matter. You cooperated with them, not daring to anger or inconvenience any of them. These were agents that you had no intention of tangling with. They were way out of your league and you didn't want to end up being detained for any reason. Technically, you told them the whole truth and nothing but the truth. They never mentioned anything about extraterrestrials or strange life forms but everyone at the site knew what exactly happened.

You provided your account and Ted gave his as well. The agents seemed pleased with how things were recorded and collected. Your boss got the exact same talk as did some of your fellow rangers that showed up at the scene. You were all briefed and specifically instructed to keep your mouths shut and be satisfied with the answer you were given. The official report was that a foreign, experimental drone suffered a power failure and crash landed in Red Leaf State Park. It was to be seized by the government, stored in a warehouse and "returned" to the nation it originated from.

The heavy, deep whirring of the blades resonated above your head. Military grade helicopters patrolled the skies over the state park, surveying the area and looking for any more fragments or evidence of the crash. Some of those choppers had been rigged up to Purple's cruiser and covered his craft with layers of concealing tarps. Carefully and slowly, the helicopters lifted the alien vehicle from the small, smoldering crater it was embedded in.

"Jesus H. Christ… This can't be real. Is this what I think it is..?"

Your boss was a gruff and serious fellow. You'd never forget the way he uttered those words when he came upon the crater that cradled the shuttle. Nothing really shook him but you heard genuine fear in his voice for the first time. The fifty-something year old man was shocked and at a loss for words. Both of you knew what you were looking at and you were more than aware of what was on hand.

Even after he called in the appropriate personnel to deal with this situation, Ted was silent and shaken. It seemed as if his understanding of the world was turned upside down. He paced about relentlessly and he barely spoke a word to you for the entire time. He was far too lost in his mind and trying to actually believe that this was really happening.

All of you knew for a fact that this wasn't a drone. Your colleagues and boss weren't so easily fooled as well. But in order to avoid the attention of the federal agents, you and your fellow rangers knew what needed to be done. None of you were keen on bringing down the wrath of the government upon yourselves if you could avoid it.

"That's a drone..?" Kendra asked, quirking an eyebrow. Your neighbor and fellow park ranger wasn't convinced. "Looks pretty, uh, high-tech to me."

"Kendra, none of this happened," Zack retorted. He was disbelieving of everything as well but he would just go along with the ruse. "I mean, we don't know what other countries are cooking up. What do we know?"

You barely paid any head to Kendra and Zack's bickering as you watched the choppers carry off Purple's shuttle. Lord only knew where it was going and you sure as Hell knew they weren't going to surrender it. They were going to experiment, study and reverse engineer this thing. It was as simple as that. It was doomed to become extremely classified information.

But what the federal authorities didn't know was that you had the most important piece of the puzzle in your very cabin. Inwardly, you smirked at the knowledge, feeling some sort of satisfaction with pulling the wool over their eyes. But at the back of your mind, you had a hunch that they knew there had to have been a pilot. Said pilot was totally unaccounted for and nowhere to be seen…

"Alright, folks," Ted announced, raising his voice. "We're done here with this. Let's move along and at least get some of our daily patrols done. Our schedules and duties will resume normally tomorrow." He turned to you. "And I've called the power company, they'll have a truck up at your cabin tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, Ted," you huffed. Everything in your fridge was undoubtedly spoiled now but luckily there wasn't much in there to begin with. "Luckily the fire place will keep my cabin warm til the power kicks back on."

"You're lucky it's not winter." Then he redirected his attention to the other rangers. "Let's keep our mouths sealed, okay? Nothing happened. And if we get any visitors or anyone else asking about what happened, we're telling them what we were told. Are we all on the same page?"

Kendra looked rather upset and unwilling to come to terms with things. Meanwhile, Zack only nodded his head.

"Kendra, come on," you gently encouraged her. "We know… But we have to."

"This is bullshit," she huffed in disgust and then briskly walked away.

The blonde ranger made her way to her ATV and started it up, making her way back to her assigned sector. The vehicle peeled down the maintenance road, ripping up dirt and leaves as she stormed off.

"I really hope she doesn't open her mouth too much," Ted groaned in frustration. "That's only gonna be a headache for us in the future."

"No need to worry, I'll try to talk to her," Zack promised.

"One more thing…" He spoke lowly and kept his eyes pinned on you and Zack. "We have to be extremely vigilant. We have to be on the lookout for anything…weird. The agents told me it was quite possible that there was a pilot in that vehicle. Nothing was recovered but that doesn't mean it's gone."

"Like what? Crop circles? Animal mutilations?"

Ted eyed his junior ranger warningly. But if this all was truly real, then there was an alien possibly out and about. He felt like an idiot for doing this but he found himself nodding at Zack's assumptions.

"Anything out of the ordinary," Ted reiterated. "You'll know it when you see it I'm sure. Report it to me. As the senior ranger, I have to report it back to them if we come across anything." His voice went lower. "And you know they're gonna be prowling around here for a bit just to make sure things are…clear. So look alive and be alert, you two." Ted set a hand on Zack's shoulder. "Be sure to forward that info to Kendra, please."

Dread pooled in your stomach and anxiety steadily began to tighten its grip on you. Now you were in the midst of this and it just got that much harder to get out of. He was trapped on Earth without his vehicle and you were harboring someone your nation would love to get a hold of.

(…)

The ride back to your cabin was an uncomfortable one. You had driven on the various paths, trails and roads plenty of times but never before had you been so tense and nervous in your own woods. You swore you could feel invisible eyes on you and you felt almost paranoid. The quicker you could get back home, the better.

While you were out of your residence, you confined Purple to your guest bedroom. The Tallest was extremely displeased with this but you argued to him that it was to save his own neck. After some bickering and promises on your part, he finally agreed but was still peeved and reluctant with being relegated to one room for an undisclosed amount of time. When he was enclosed in the bedroom, he went in with literally all the junk food you had left in your pantry and cabinets. Which wasn't much to begin with…

Ahead of you was the clearing your cabin was situated in. You sped up and veered off the path and towards your home.

"God, please, let everyone be alive…"

You slowed your quad down and directed it towards the shed you stored it in. Then you parked it inside the small structure, turned off the ignition and closed it up for the night.

Quickly, you walked to the cabin, fumbling with your keys in the process. You could hear your dog barking as he undoubtedly heard and smelled your approach. Hearing his noise was reassuring and it let you know he was still alive. But whether he got a hold of Purple and mangled him beyond recognition was something you had no idea about just yet.

You stuck the keys in the door and hastily opened it up. As soon as the door was partly opened, Bambi stuck his muzzle through the crack and the rest of his body came barreling out.

"I'm happy to see you too, you big goober," you smiled, feeling some relief wash over you.

His tail was wagging vigorously and it almost looked as if he was smiling. Seeing him like that made the whole situation a little easier to deal with. You pet him, wanting to soothe him and settle down.

"I don't see alien blood smeared all over you," you muttered. "That's…encouraging."

You entered the cabin, Bambi following right behind you. As soon as you walked in, you stepped into the living room and caught sight of Baby's enclosure. The rabbit was idly eating away at her pellets in her food dish, looking mellow but perpetually grumpy as she always did.

At least your animals were alive.

Cautiously, you closed the door behind you. As nonchalantly as possible, you pulled your curtains across the large window in your living room. There was no way anyone could find out. Government agents be damned.

"Hey, Purple!" you called out. "The coast is clear!"

Almost instantly, you heard the door to his room open up.

"That was way too long!" he bemoaned.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't do a thing about it," you rolled your eyes. "By the way, you're really marooned on Earth now. They came and took your ship."

Purple appeared around the corner, warranting a warning stomp from Baby at the same time. He ignored the creature, disliking her and still disbelieving she had the gall and audacity to bite his finger. He'd keep his distance from the small but bold rabbit.

"Fantastic," he said in a rather neutral tone.

"I thought you'd be more upset," you remarked.

"Well, I don't want to be here to begin with but I've got no choice. Yet I guess it's nice because that just means evidence of my presence has been swept away. Any Resisty forces will have a harder time locating me. So, yes and no…"

You knelt down in front of your fireplace and loaded it up with tinder. There was a definite chill in the air and it would get even more noticeable when the night would creep in a few hours later.

"Listen to me," you said as you turned your head to look at him. "You don't exist. You're not supposed to be here. I had to lie to my own country today and I feel horrible about it. But I'm not an asshole and I'm going to keep you here because you needed help."

"Good, you know your priorities, Human," he smirked.

"I didn't realize 'thank you' was that hard to say in your species." You scoffed and lit a match. Then you gently lit the tinder, wanting the fire to ignite and grow. "But I'm sure those agents will be in the woods and sticking around for a bit to make sure they didn't overlook anything. So I suggest that you still lay low."

"I'm not being imprisoned in that room again! I didn't like it!"

"What appeals to you more? Life or death?"

"Well, duh, life!"

"Okay, just checking…"

The flames flickered brighter and grew larger. You smiled as the logs finally caught. You'd sleep in a warm house tonight even without your power.

Purple took a seat closest to the hearth and stretched his long, lanky form out, looking much like a cat. He smiled at the warmth that began to radiate from the fireplace. His antennae twitched about in a contented manner. The Irken leader looked quite comfortable and you hoped this would keep him compliant and appeased for now.

His mannerisms would've almost been adorable to you if you hadn't already decided that he was an asshole. It was obnoxious more than anything else.

"When is your power going to come back on?" he asked, his eyes transfixed by the dancing of the flames.

"Tomorrow," you replied.

"That's too long!"

"If you hadn't been a jerk and cut it to begin with, this wouldn't be an issue."

"I had to get you to let me in somehow. And it worked. When are you going to get more food for me?"

"When the power gets back on, your Majesty."

"It's 'my Tallest'."

"Whatever."

"I'll provide you with the list of food and snacks I want and you can go get them tomorrow."

"I have a job, you know."

"That's right, I forgot about that…" He eyed you inquisitively. "What exactly do you do?"

"I'm a park ranger. The place you landed in is a large state park and nature preserve. My job is to patrol my assigned sector of the park and make sure things are alright. It mostly consists of studying and surveying the local flora and fauna, making sure hikers and campers are safe, monitor for signs of poachers and a few other little things here and there."

"Sounds boring."

"I love the outdoors and nature so it's perfect for me. It's clean, quiet, peaceful, private… I can't stand the urban sprawl anyway. Never cared for it…"

"What do you do for entertainment? How did you not go insane?"

He truly sounded curious and intrigued by your preferences. It occurred to you that it was possibly likely that there was no such thing as a ranger where he came from. Maybe everything was super industrialized and there wasn't a speck of nature as unbelievable as the concept seemed to you. Maybe this whole thing was completely foreign to him. Maybe he couldn't ever understand it.

"I hike, read a book, watch TV, play video games…" you said.

"You've got video games?!" Purple almost yelled.

His antennae were nearly erect at that mention. A bright smile flashed across his face and hope was twinkling in his violet orbs.

"Yes," you said with a smile of your own. Then you frowned heavily, turning the tables on his joy. "But you need electricity to play them."

Purple was crestfallen and his smile shattered instantly. He grunted unhappily and rolled over onto his side, his back facing you. The Irken leader was upset and couldn't bear to look at you for the moment.

"You're no fun at all, Human!" he complained. "I was thinking about making you one of my personal servants once I'd regain power but you're such a party pooper!"

You could care less.

(Planet Yutus – homeworld of the Yuti. Located ten thousand light years from Earth)

Lard Nar couldn't help the chill that coursed down his back. He managed to straighten his posture and hold his head up high. Though the sharp, scrutinizing gazes of the Yuti warriors were cutting him to ribbons figuratively, he managed to ignore them for now. Tried as he did to totally disregard them, it was far easier said than done. Their steely and fierce demeanors were rumors that had been proven to be true.

Despite the fact that the Yuti had allied their planet and people with the Resisty amidst this galactic conflict, the Vortian couldn't help the fact that they intimidated him. Even the other members of his crew privately voiced their fears and concerns. Yet Lard Nar would remind them that they were lucky to have them on their side. They were fortunate that the views of the Yuti had changed over time and were all too willing to assist them in combating the Irken Empire. They were happier to have the avian aliens as allies than enemies.

Besides, the Resisty needed all the help they could get.

Lard Nar was stopped just outside of the arboreal building that had been constructed out of a mesh of metal and wooden matter. Before the entrance to the meeting hall stood a small Yuti warrior. Remembering to show respect and not risk offending the diminutive creature before him, he gave it a polite bow. The Yuti returned the gesture to him, its dark brown eyes nearly beaming in amusement.

"Welcome, Lard Nar," the Yuti, a female warrior, greeted him. "Welcome, friend and brother in arms."

"Greetings, Chief Naver of the Sittaci tribe," he returned. "I am happy to be welcomed into your wings."

The memorization and reciting had paid off so far. Before this meeting, he was strictly advised to properly study the customs of the natives. They were easy to offend and reluctant to forgive. The Yuti were usually quick tempered and it didn't help that they were a war-like species. As far as he was concerned, he wanted to remain on their good side and not risk losing their assistance.

Naver seemed to appreciate his words and her green feathers ruffled in excitement. Her large, iron-tipped beak clicked happily and wasn't poised to rip his throat out.

"An enemy of the enemy is our friend," she said. "We have been expecting you."

"I-Indeed you have!" he replied. "Here I am. I guess that Commander Lyn is inside?"

"She is. She has been eager to talk with you. Now, time is valuable. Enter."

The bright green, bird-alien stepped aside, allowing Lard Nar entry. He couldn't deny that he felt wary of even walking by the leader of the Sittaci. He had heard his fair share of anecdotes about Chief Naver and every one of them were bloody and fearsome. There was a reason why she was the ruler of her tribe. The chiefdoms were only to be earned by the worthiest and strongest of their respective lineages and she had proven her power and defended her throne time and time again.

To be on the safe side, Lard Nar bowed to Naver again. This time, she returned the bow to him. Apparently, she viewed him as a confidant and equal. He granted her respect and so she gave him hers in return. So far, so good.

Phew.

The automatic door parted as he drew closer. He entered the hall and the door shut behind him as he went in further.

It took him no time at all to see the figure standing at the opposite end of the room. Their back was facing him and they seemed completely oblivious to his presence. They were rather invested in studying a star map, zooming in and out of certain locations and planets. Data, statistics and graphs scrolled up and down on the far left side of the large, holographic map.

He cleared his throat loudly, hoping to get their attention.

"Is that you, Lard Nar?"

The voice was so soft that he almost didn't hear them at first. They didn't turn to face him but at least they were receptive to him. He could see the spider webbing cracks and heavy scrapes that ran along the white and pink device that was fused onto their back. The Vortian internally cringed at the damage, suspecting that it had to have been painful if not uncomfortable.

"Yes," he answered. "We need to talk, Lyn."

"Of course," they retorted.

At last, the figure turned to properly address him.

The person was a tall, thin, female Irken. She was taller than Lard Nar was but she was no Tallest either. There were scars that ran along the right side of her chin and on her left cheek. Lyn's large, bright eyes were colored a light blue hue, almost looking cyan. Her left antenna had almost been completely severed, resulting in nothing more than a jagged stump sticking an inch out of her cranium. The Irken's right one was perfectly intact and curled, giving further hint to her gender. The clothes she wore were akin to the typical Invader garb but were colored dark blue and silver. Around each of her wrists was one golden bracelet.

"So," she said, idly twirling the bracelets, "whatever is on your mind?"

Lyn left her maps and charts for now and approached her commanding officer. She strode up to the tinier alien, her posture straight and proud.

"The Empire is still going strong even without its leaders," Lard Nar revealed. "I thought their morale would've taken a beating with their disappearance. It's a bit worrying in all honesty."

"Yes and no," Lyn said. "Yes, the loyal ones love their Tallest. But what runs deeper than their devotion is their inability and unwillingness to surrender. It is ingrained and encoded in every single Irken's PAK. It's what they're literally programmed to do. Unless they're defective, they have no choice but to obey."

"But do you think that they will…tucker out? Do you think they'll lose steam?"

"Look at me, Lard Nar. I haven't lost my steam. Neither will they. We Irken are infamously stubborn. If they surrender, they lose. They lose their purpose. They need a purpose. Those without a fitting purpose or don't fit into the grand scheme of things are labeled as defective. And those defectives are culled."

"I see."

At last, Lyn made it to his side. It was so silent that he could hear the slight humming of her PAK.

"Because they will never capitulate, you must force them to do so," she said. "When I say that, you must kill them."

She was blunt but he also respected that. That was one of the reasons why he had accepted her into his ranks. That and a traitor of the enemy's ranks was an extremely valuable commodity in any war.

"The Tallest are still gone," he said. "We lost track of both of them… I can't believe those two bumbling idiots have managed to escape us."

"One way or another, they will be weeded out," she promised. "Don't worry, Lard Nar. We have a few things in our favor. The Irken Empire is embroiled in a brutal civil war and the Resisty's ranks have been supplemented with many defective and rebel Irken soldiers. The Empire hasn't been this vulnerable in many, many years. It has many enemies from the inside and outside so this was a storm that has been brewing for a very long time. Victory is guaranteed if you ask me."

"What do you suggest in the meantime?"

"A war of attrition. We must tire them out, deplete snack stockpiles and kill as many soldiers as we can before they can grow more."

Admittedly, Lard Nar felt a little unsettled by her and how she spoke so callously. She had willingly forsaken her race and was more than ready to commit atrocities against them. Lyn was cold and methodical with the subject of the war and dismantling the Empire from the inside. He had no doubts that she had severed all loyalties and ties to the entity she once faithfully served. She had turned her back on her people and was willing to do what was necessary to achieve her goal.

"I don't want to risk too many casualties of my own troops," he argued. "I want to see the Empire crash and burn as much as you do but that's where we differ, Lyn. I don't want to throw lives away."

"That's the reality of war, sir," she asserted, narrowing her eyes. "And I'm advising you in this way because I know these troops. I was once one of them."

"Perhaps we can force Rarl Kove to surrender…"

"I disagree."

"He is leading the loyalist forces with the absence of the Tallest."

"And I am the figure head of the Irken insurrection. I will personally deal with Rarl when I get a hold of him. His destruction will make things all the easier."

"We'll keep searching for the Tallest in the meantime. I intend to…borrow some of your Yuti warriors to help in the search effort."

"Fine. May I suggest you take some warriors from the Aquila and Corvidii tribes?"

In general, all of the intelligent, sapient inhabitants of Yutus were called the Yuti. The Yuti were divided into different subgroups and subspecies and they had formed their own tribes. There were four main tribes that were called the Aquila, the Corvidii, the Gruid and the Sittaci. These groups competed amongst each other for territory, resources and other commodities. For the most part, they were all war-like and fierce but they had distinct physical and cultural differences amongst their own nations as well.

"The Aquila are brave and hardy and they are the fiercest soldiers this planet has to offer," Lyn explained, folding her arms across her chest. "The Corvidii are stealthy and masters of subterfuge. Both should help you in locating and subduing the Tallest. In fact, you may be able to take a few Sittaci warriors too. They're the smallest of the Yuti but equally as fearsome as their larger brethren. Don't let their smallness fool you. Naver is the prime example of Sittaci pride and might."

"Trust me, I know," Lard Nar smiled nervously. "I've heard about the rumors. Naver's reputation precedes her. It seems like the Yuti are reluctant to trust us."

"Naver will be pleased to hear those words." The female Irken smiled. "Yet the Yuti have learned their lesson with trusting an outside entity. Don't take it personally. They thought the Empire would appreciate and respect their contributions. They were wrong and so was I."

The male Vortian wouldn't press into matters further. Although Lyn had proved to be a valuable asset and advisor in the war effort so far, some blaring realities remained. They were things he couldn't ignore for too long. Not only that, they were way too obvious. He would only admit to his closest comrades that the defective, female Irken freaked him out at times.

"Any suggestions as to where we should look for the Tallest next?" he asked.

Lyn raised an arm, gesturing to the star map she was previously studying. She made her way back to the display and Lard Nar followed her.

"You've checked Foodcourtia," she said. "You've scrounged through the planetary wheat fields of Glutose. You've delved deep into the sugar mines of Sucra and found nothing. The Empire is crumbling and they know this. Like the cowards they are, they fled because they knew the odds weren't in their favor. Their truth worth and colors were revealed."

"Then we have to check other obvious planets," Lard Nar deduced. "They could've gone to planets like Resortia. They are very lazy and pampered. They'd want to have some sort of luxury or pleasure wherever they go no matter the circumstances."

"I agree. But unfortunately the universe is so large." Lyn scowled. "As much as it pains me to admit it, I think the Empire will be destroyed before they will be. They could be anywhere and we simply don't have the resources and forces to search for them nonstop. While we send out some troops to track the Tallest, in the meantime, I suggest we whittle away at the loyalist forces. Then we go for the Control Brains themselves."

"That makes sense. Your input and insight is very much appreciated, Commander Lyn."

"No, the pleasure is all mine, Lard Nar. Really, you have no idea."

He didn't want to know.

"I'll be keeping in touch with you," he remarked.

"Of course," Lyn said, turning her back to him and returning to her previous task. "Let me know of your next move against the Empire. It is crumbling further and further with each day that goes by."

The Vortian said nothing else to her. He only turned on his heels and walked out of the meeting hall.

Lyn disregarded the smaller life form and stared blankly at the star map. She was alone once more, her only company being her thoughts and her charts. The silence was nearly deafening but she didn't mind it. Sometimes, she needed it to be totally quiet. It helped her.

Absentmindedly, she twirled one of the bracelets, admiring the feeling of the cool element against her light green skin. Her remaining antenna twitched and she lowered her head, her eyes shutting momentarily. She stood unmoving in the dim room, bathed by the soft, blue glow given off from the chart.

"Merit determines all. I will make it so."

A large, toothy smile cracked across her previously placid features.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4 Freak on a Leash

(the next morning)

"That must've been one hell of a squirrel to bite through your power line so cleanly!"

"I know, right? I don't think I'd want to tangle with something like that. It's bad news."

"Well, hopefully it doesn't come back and decides to chew on it again. I got it all fixed. I put this chew deterrent on the line too to make sure."

"Thanks, Ken. I appreciate you coming out here to fix it."

"Sure, no problem! It's my job after all."

So far, so good. Purple stayed in his room while the power guy came to remedy the situation. The Irken remained far from any window so Ken wouldn't possibly get a glimpse of him. That was the last thing you needed to have happen.

You returned from your morning patrol and all seemed well and easy. You didn't see any glimpses of any government agents but that didn't necessarily mean they were absent. Ted's warnings constantly circulated inside your head and it made you anxious and on edge. Clean up crews were still at the ridge and they would most likely remain there for a few days at the very least. You were given an update to not go up to that area until the agents had evacuated that area. No doubt they were scrounging about for any bits of extraterrestrial technology or traces that might've been left behind. As far as you were concerned, you were going to stay away and not risk getting in trouble.

For the Tallest's own safety, he'd probably have to be relegated to your cabin for a few weeks. He'd probably end up contracting cabin fever but you'd tie him down if you had to. He couldn't risk cover being blown. You couldn't risk getting yourself thrown into prison and charged with perjury, withholding information from a federal agent, or some other grievous offense.

"By the way," Ken said as he came down the ladder, "did you see the fireball last yesterday?"

That was your cue.

"Yeah, I was there at the crash site," you said, keeping the conversation nonchalant and definitely not suspicious. "It was a downed drone from another country."

"Really?" the man asked. He raised a dark and heavy brow. "A drone?"

"Yeah. It was an experimental drone. I could hardly believe it myself."

"That explains why army trucks and helicopters were flying over and driving through town almost all day yesterday. Must be some super serious and secret business."

"It got confiscated and it's gonna be returned to its home country. Honestly, I'm not too impressed."

"Still, must've been a neat thing to see. Stuff of that type doesn't happen too often up around here… Well besides the occasional Bigfoot sightings but that's it I guess."

"Red Leaf has its share of stories and legends but this is definitely the most exciting thing that has happened in awhile."

Ken grunted in agreement and retracted his metal ladder once he was finished with being on your roof. His work was completed and all he had to do was clean up and head out. You'd wait til he was gone and then move onto the next phase of your plan.

Last night, you ended up falling asleep on the couch. The fire that was once roaring had devolved into glowing embers that still gave off a tiny bit of heat. You were unsure when it happened exactly but you woke up with Bambi on the floor and Baby nestled away in her beloved box. Purple was nowhere to be seen, having moved to his bedroom to lay on the bed like the pampered and regal creature that he was.

After the little spat you two had about video games, he ignored you for the rest of the night. You returned the courtesy to him and ended up reading a book until you passed out at some point. Luckily, you woke up alive and you supposed that he hadn't killed you in your sleep for slighting him. Honestly, you were a bit proud of yourself for surviving with him in your house for twenty four hours.

One day down, an "x" amount more to go.

"Alright, everything's all good to go," he reported.

"Thanks again, Ken," you smiled. "You're a lifesaver."

"Don't sweat it. Take care."

He hopped into his pickup truck and drove down the gravel maintenance road that led to your cabin. You watched as Ken disappeared down the path, making sure he was gone and out of sight.

Satisfied, you turned on your heels and walked up onto your porch. Bambi was idly gnawing away on a knuckle bone, completely disinterested in the world around him. He acknowledged you with a few wags of his tail as you walked past him and into your cabin.

"You have your list ready?" you called out to your houseguest.

"Yeah," Purple answered. You could hear the door to his room creak open. Then he reappeared, deeming that the coast was clear. "I thought he was going to fall through the roof for a second!"

"No, you're fine… So your list?"

"I have it. But I'm having second thoughts about it."

"Okay?"

"I'm going with you."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"You're an alien, you're gonna get caught! This is not negotiable!"

"I'm going because I have a means to blend in with your primitive people." He turned to the side, gesturing to the device fused to his back. "See this thing? It's a PAK and it's full of all sorts of neat gadgets. It's kinda like a Human Australian Army Knife."

"…you mean Swiss."

"Yeah, whatever."

"So that explains those metal arms I saw coming out of your back…" Admittedly, you were rather curious over the contraption he had. You assumed it had to be important. "So what else does that thing have?"

"Being a Tallest, I have some extra upgrades and perks that the normal PAK doesn't have. One of those things is a holographic projector that can make a very convincing disguise."

Oh Hell…

"Wait, you can look like a person?" you assumed.

"Prepare to be amazed, you cave woman," he grinned largely.

You would've slapped him for that insult but any anger you had was melted away when you saw his figure distort and reshape. You could hear a humming coming from his PAK as it generated this disguise he spoke of.

It took no time at all to cloak his Irken shape completely. What stood before you was indeed very convincing and legitimate. It could fool anyone quite easily.

He took the shape of an Earthling but only you knew the true nature of this. He donned the appearance of a rather tall, slightly pale and thin man with combed over, short, light brown hair. His irises were colored purple and his smile was large and toothy. His pants consisted of black jeans and on his torso he wore a purple turtleneck. The shoes he displayed were black combat boots.

"Pretty cool, huh?" he grinned impishly. While his outward appearance changed, his voice was still identical. "It comes in handy when you have to blend in with the disgusting natives."

It was pretty amazing, you had to admit it. But you refused to make your awe known, not wanting to cave in and have the topic go awry. It was clear that out of the two of you, you had to be the smart and more mature individual.

"How foolproof is this?" you pressed, still wanting to make sure he wouldn't end up condemning you both. "I'm super fascinated by your makeover but we can't let our cover get blown."

"As long as I don't get wet, it should be fine."

"Well, there's supposed to be no rain today so I guess we're okay…"

"I'm doing this because I want to make sure you don't forget anything. Besides, I want to pick what they have to offer."

"Okay, fine… But please, don't make my bill astronomical. And stick close to me. Don't wander off and don't act like a weirdo. Remember, we have a charade we have to keep up."

"Blah, blah, blah, I know!" He cackled. "You're so strict! Take a chill pill! Let your hair down as you Earthlings say. When I finally leave this cursed planet, I'll have taught you the true meaning of fun!"

You were done arguing with this dense creature. Though he wanted to remain undercover, to you, it felt as if he had no real concept of it at the same time. Now you caught yourself wondering if you would survive his tenure in your home.

"Let's go…" you said, grabbing your vehicle's keys that hung up on the wall by your door.

Purple seemed all too pleased and cheeky with this turn of events. He kept close to you, his smile still huge and quite smug. It almost was like he thrived off of your reluctance and whittling patience.

He followed you as you made your way to your pickup truck in the driveway. You tried to ignore him, pretending as if he wasn't breathing down your neck.

"Besides," he continued, "isn't it a good idea for me to accompany you so I can observe and learn more about your kind? It'd be smart for me to study so I can blend in all the better."

"Whatever floats your boat, Purple," you said tiredly. "Hop into the passenger's seat."

"When will you let me drive this thing?"

"Never."

"Give it time, woman."

"Keep telling yourself that."

You climbed into the driver's seat and he slid into the passenger's side a few seconds later. You stuck your keys into the ignition and the truck rumbled to life.

"Buckle up," you commanded him.

"Why?" he argued.

"Because it's a safety precaution and I could get in trouble if the police drive by and see you're not buckled. Stop arguing with every little thing I ask of you!"

You ignored the sigh from him as he unhappily strapped himself into his seat. You buckled yourself and started down the road.

All you wanted was for this grocery run to be quick, painless and smooth. But deep inside, you knew it was probably going to be anything but that.

(the town of Red Leaf, twenty five minutes later)

The town that was situated some miles away from Red Leaf State Park was a quiet but still prosperous settlement. It was a peaceful, rural area that was surrounded by farms and woodlands. The speck of civilization boasted a small hotel, a few restaurants and bars, a drive-in movie theater, two shopping centers and a nice little residential section. Almost all the residents of the town knew each other and were friendly to one other but kept to themselves for the most part. While they valued the company of their neighbors, they also liked their privacy and serenity.

Tourists, hiking enthusiasts and other outdoorsmen were often flocking to the area year round to visit the park. It wasn't uncommon to see folks from neighboring states show up out of the blue and stick around for a few days in either the hotel or in one of the camping areas.

During this particular time of the year, in fall, it was common for hikers and campers to arrive and get their last bit of fun in before winter would arrive. Winter often hosted skiers and snowboarders but the park wasn't preferably notable for these particular sports. Spring brought back many hikers, picnickers, fishermen and other hobbyists. Summer was the peak season for visitors and this was the most popular time for camping, hiking and swimming in one of the various lakes that dotted the landscape in the park.

However, there was an unusual tourist visiting Red Leaf currently. And he had no interest or desire to admire his surroundings or partake in any sort of past time. Unless if it was eating or being a slob in general.

Dread pooled in your guts as you drove up to the local supermarket. This was something you had no wish to complete but it needed done no matter what.

"Everything is so primitive," Purple observed. "Zim wasn't kidding when he said this planet was so…inferior."

"Who?" you asked, raising your eyebrow.

"Ugh, don't even get me started. Never mind. Should've never said that name to begin with."

You pulled into a parking spot and shut the truck's engine off. Then you slid out, waiting for your guest to join you.

"Alright," you said, "let's try to make this as quick and as painless as possible, okay?"

"We're not leaving until I get everything I need," he said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Are they things you actually need or things you want? There's a difference, you know."

"Things I need!"

You didn't believe it but you didn't argue with him. You only prayed he would maybe stick around for a little bit and then vanish, presumably having departed to reclaim his power. He'd be gone and you'd never have to deal with him again. Anymore, this felt like a mistake that was going to snowball out of control.

You walked up to the entrance of the store, trying to look as calm as possible. He still kept close to you. You hoped you wouldn't run into anyone you knew. Last thing you wanted was to be seen with him. It didn't occur to you until then that you needed to come up with a convincing story for his existence and subsequent lodging with you.

"How good of an actor are you?" you asked. You grabbed a cart and entered the store.

"Perfect!" he beamed. "What's on your mind, Earth harpy?"

"Wanna be my cousin that dropped out of college and is living with me until he gets his life together?"

The confusion and befuddlement that flashed across his face was instantaneous and obvious.

"…what?" he said, his eyes widened.

"Let's drop it until we get back to my place," you sighed and waved your hand dismissively. "Forget what I said. Let's focus on getting the food we need. Grab whatever you want and throw it into the cart."

His head twisted from left to right, obviously curious and a perhaps a little flustered with all the choices he had at his disposal. Stacks upon stacks of items filled the aisles and shelves, beckoning him.

"Right…" Purple muttered. "First things first… Chips!"

Luckily there was a display rack with a nice discount on the chips he was eyeing up. You were pretty grateful for that. He ended up throwing four party size bags of potato chips in. You eyes widened slightly, a bit curious as to how he wasn't a few hundred pounds overweight.

"Come on, what're you waiting for?" he called to you.

He was already making a bee-line to the next aisle that appealed to his appalling palate. You could've sworn you heard him hiss quietly at the shelves loaded with healthy fruits and vegetables. Purple didn't bother to look at that section and opted to skip it altogether.

"You know, I'm shopping for myself too!" you said to him.

"But I'm your guest," he reminded you. His voice sounded repulsively sweet.

"Yeah, I know, but I'm not living off of potato chips for a month."

"I won't let you because they're mine anyway. Let me get my things first and then you can get your inferior foods."

"Alright, alright…"

You could feel and see the eyes of the fellow shoppers fall on you. This was one of the last things you wanted. You'd comply with him in the meantime in order to avoid a scene.

With a triumphant grin, he turned on his heels and walked down the aisle. Grudgingly you followed him, muttering curses and burning a hole in the back of his head with your angered glare.

The amount of junk food he tossed into the cart was simply atrocious. Only five minutes had gone by and your cart was full to bursting. Packets of cookies and candies of all varieties and flavors were added to the inventory. He chose the cereal with sugar levels that you were sure would rot the teeth out of your skull. Liters of soda were tossed into the cart, all different flavors and colors. Looking at all this food made you want to puke.

Truthfully, you liked to indulge in some junk food. But being forced to be his personal buggy slave and pushing his food around almost made you want to swear it off for the rest of your life. It was almost sacrilegious.

"How can you eat this?" you whispered to him.

"Irken biology," he replied smugly. "We can eat these foods without consequence. Meanwhile, you dirt-apes can’t handle it…" He cackled. "How sad."

"What can't you eat?"

"Milk, beans, meat… I'm not going anywhere near that one section with that green food, I feel like my squeedly-spooch is gonna empty itself all over the place!"

"Then how're you going to eat cereal without milk if you can't have it?"

"Simple! I'll use soda instead of milk! I already thought about it."

Just thinking about that felt as if you became diabetic in that very instant.

"Gross but okay," you sighed.

"Excuse me."

Both of you were snapped back to the real world when you heard the voice. You could barely see the head of a child that almost stood as tall as the cart. It was a little boy and his arms were folded behind his back. The kid looked sheepish and he swayed back and forth on the tips of his toes.

"You grabbed the last of the Chocolate Lava Flow cookies," he said, his voice tiny and shy. "They're my favorite and my mom promised me I could get some if I got an 'A' on my spelling test. I did! But there are no more left…"

"Take a hike, you hideous munchkin!" Purple snapped. He snatched up the cookies and clasped the package to his chest possessively. His eyes were narrowed and he turned to the side, trying to hide them from the boy. "'Finders keepers, loser weepers' as you heathens say!"

Your jaw dropped, astonished by his vicious and rude behavior. You could only gape back at him for a few seconds before raw anger overcame you.

"Give them to me, NOW," you snarled.

"No, I got them first!" he griped.

"NOW, you useless, greedy pig!"

There was a brief kerfuffle as you attempted to pry the cookies from his grasp. He held onto them with all his might, unwilling to part with the treat. Your eyes were stern and furious and you didn't break your stare with him, fully intending to intimidate him and hoping to use that tactic to your advantage. You were unfazed as he growled at your persistence and tried to twist the trunk of his body to shake you off. Yet you held firm and didn't give up.

Whenever you forcefully stomped on one of his feet, he finally relinquished the item. Purple cried out in pain and hopped about on his other foot while attempting to shake off the pain. His eyes shut tightly and he moaned loudly. 

“That was my foot!” Purple complained. 

Pretending as if nothing happened, you seized the cookies and turned to the kid. There were some tears in his eyes but upon seeing your victory, his sadness melted away.

"Here you go, sweetie," you smiled. "Congrats on your test too. I'm sure your mom is very proud of you."

"Thanks a bunch, lady!" the overjoyed youth said.

He bounded off, undoubtedly to go reunite with his guardian.

"What was that about!?" Purple whined.

"Listen to me, you anorexic twig," you snarled.

You strode up to him, backing him up against one of the shelves. Your chest pressed up against his and you fearlessly leered back at him. Forcefully, you pinned him, refusing to let him back off or brush the incident off.

"You can boss me around because I'm an adult and I can take it to a certain extent," you said in a low tone. "But when an adult picks on kids and acts like an insufferable asshole to them, that's when I get pissed. That was a harmless kid. I don't care who you are, you don't do that. Step off, you bully."

The shock and surprise was way too obvious on his face. Purple was angered and offended as well and couldn't believe this Earthling had the nerve to lecture him. He was a Tallest and no one had the right to manhandle and terrorize him like this, especially this inferior creature he was lodging with.

"Who do you think you are?" he countered. "How dare you talk to me like this!"

You turned around and grabbed a bottle of chocolate syrup off the shelf. Then you shoved it into his hands.

"There, something to replace your stupid cookies," you remarked. "You can slather whatever you want with that stuff. It's right up your alley. It's sloppy and gets everywhere, just like you."

Purple examined the item, his eyes eagerly looking it over. He hummed quietly and after a minute, he tossed it into the cart.

"This is good enough," he replied. "Sounds tasty." His eyes narrowed into a hard leer and he straightened himself up to his full height. "And I suggest you learn to treat your future overlord better." A cruel, toothy grin appeared on his face. "When this mess is all said and done with my empire, I may come back and you won't be happy when I do. You literally have no idea what I'm capable of. If you love your planet, you will behave."

Something about how he said those words made you very, very uncomfortable. You could feel an inkling of anxiety creep into you but you ignored it. You remained steadfast in front of him. You wouldn't buckle.

"I'll keep it in mind," you retorted. "Now, if you don't mind, it's my turn to get my food."

(forty five minutes later.)

The bill from the grocery store hurt you. A lot.

It easily cost you a few hundred dollars but it would shut him up and appease him. He'd be quiet and well fed and you hoped that meant it would make your life that much easier. And hopefully, he'd be off to whatever galaxy he came from and never come back. If he did return, this time, you'd be sure to shoot him.

As much as you wanted to go back home and put your ridiculous amount of goods away, you still had one more stop to make.

"Stay in the truck," you instructed him as you pulled the keys out of the ignition. "I'm going in to get some more food for myself."

"What is this place?" he asked. He read the name of the establishment. “'Coo-la-kee?"

"It's a bakery. Now stay, please."

You didn't bother to stick around to hear what more he might have to say. The only thing you cared about getting was fresh bread and pastries.

As soon as you entered the building, you were met with the lovely aroma of bread, cookies, macaroons, cakes and other culinary delights. You sighed happily at the smell, feeling some of your tension melt away instantly. It almost felt as if the grocery run was just a bad dream you were going to forget about by tomorrow.

When you entered, the sound of a bell jingled. With the arrival of a customer, one of the workers came from the kitchen to greet you.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Colacci," you grinned at the business owner.

"Afternoon," the short, elderly Croatian lady replied. "What will you have today, mala?"

"Oh, well let's see what you have!"

You looked through the glass display cases, seeing the selection for the day. Honestly, everything looked wonderful and delectable. Everything was fresh and made from scratch. There wasn't anything you had that you disliked from the bakery.

"Can I have some bagels, please?" you asked.

"Da," she nodded. "And you need cookies for puppy?"

"Sure… I think he really deserves it. Thank you!"

"I make some just for him, he is good boy!"

Her accent was thick and her English was broken but you understood her well enough. She was a gruff but also sweet old lady and you never had any issues with her. According to her employees, she was boisterous especially when slivovitz was thrown into the mix of things but for the most part, Mrs. Colacci was a good citizen.

You heard the chime of the bell behind you but ignored it for the moment, still trying to figure out what more you were going to pick out. The footsteps of the customer came closer and you looked over your shoulder, curious to see who stepped in.

"What're you doing here?!" you half hissed and half whispered at the new patron.

"When you mentioned a bakery, I knew I couldn't resist," the disguised Tallest smiled cheekily. "I am a connoisseur of sweets and snacks after all!"

"You're gonna use soda to replace milk for cereal, you have no taste or class."

"I do have taste! You're just jealous you didn't think of…"

The words that came out of his mouth came out as a garbled mess. His eyes widened enormously and he almost literally crawled to one particular display case. His face pressed up against the glass and it looked as if a waterfall of saliva was pouring from his mouth already.

"No, no, no!" you muttered and hustled over to his side.

You quickly hauled him back up onto his feet but it was too late as there was already a mess all over the glass. Luckily it kept the menagerie of donuts underneath safe from him. For now.

"I must have them!" he said in a desperate, needy voice. "These are my favorite snacks in the whole universe!"

"You have donuts where you come from?" You asked him that question but honestly, you shouldn't have been so surprised.

You could hear Mrs. Colacci laugh loudly and she approached the counter where the two of you were. She leaned on it and smiled. Normally, she was appalled by filth but she was more amused by the gentleman's reaction to her donuts more than anything else.

"Honey, you can have all of donuts if you want!" she chortled.

NO.

"No, no that's not necessary!" you said hastily, shaking your head. "We'll just take a dozen!"

"Let him have them!" the old woman asserted. "I don't sell them like I used to and I don't want them wasted. I give you discount!"

Stars seemed like they appeared in Purple's eyes. An impossibly huge smile shone on his face and he loudly squealed in delight. He placed both hands on his cheeks, holding them and gushing happily. He looked happier than a kid in a candy store at this point.

"Thank you, donut-witch!" he said gleefully. "I will take all of them!"

"You welcome, honey!" Mrs. Colacci beamed. "What's your name?"

"I'm Purple!" He yanked you over to his side and held you in a crushing embrace. Your cheek was roughly pressed up against his and you could hardly breathe as he held you in an iron grip. "She's my cousin so I'm staying with her for a bit!" He was playing along with the charade now that it was more exciting and beneficial. "I'll be sure to come by and buy more of your delicious donuts!"

"You welcome anytime, honey! I make some just for you! You tell me what you like and I make some more!"

Great. This freak was obsessed with donuts.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5 Sweet Tooth

Admittedly, you felt pretty accomplished. Your power was restored, your food was restocked and no one suspected your "cousin" was an alien. So far, so good.

The only downside of it all was that you threw a few hundred dollars down the drain just to keep him happy and satisfied. For now, everything was right as rain. And you hoped it would remain that way for a good, long while. You needed it.

Your truck was filled with donut crumbs and sticky streaks from the glaze or powder that covered the treats. As much as you wanted to rip into Purple for trashing the interior, you shut your mouth, only wanting to get him back to your house and hidden away. The sooner you'd get him out and give you some personal space, the better off you'd both be.

Bambi and Baby were still a bit perturbed and upset by his reappearance but upon seeing you calm and accepting, they relaxed somewhat. Despite your calmness, they could also sense the smoldering anger in you and steered clear. Bambi had retreated to your bedroom and Baby sought refuge under her box with her favorite corn husk toy. You appreciated their thoughtfulness in giving you a wide berth. They were more considerate and aware than your guest was. There was a chance they were probably smarter than he was now that you thought about it.

As soon as you threw your vehicle into park, Purple clambered out of his seat while holding one of the boxes of donuts. He said nothing to you or made no offer to help you out with the all the bags full of groceries. He only walked over to the front door of your cabin, looking back at you expectantly all the while he pigged out on the donuts. There wasn't a shred of chivalry or an inkling of gentlemanly conduct in his body. Just another thing you found deplorable about him.

Giving him the silent treatment, you let him into your home and chose to ignore him while you were preoccupied with your duties. You unloaded your truck, put away all the food and swept out the inside of your vehicle. You refused to rest until you were done with those tasks. You needed to take out your frustration and disgust on something. Busying yourself was the most logical thing to do aside from shoving those donuts he loved so much up his ass.

"Disgusting," you cursed when a jug of milk nearly exploded on the ground when it tumbled out of a bag.

"Ungrateful," you muttered as you shoved the multitude of junk food into your now overstuffed cabinets.

"Selfish," you snarled as you scrubbed at a stubborn streak of glazing embedded into the leather.

"Ridiculous," you sighed as you sucked up the donut crumbs that littered the cab floor with a vacuum.

There were a million words you could use to describe Purple. Nine hundred ninety nine thousand and nine hundred ninety nine of those words were damning. The sole word that wasn't negative? That was you feeling generous. But if you could pick one positive trait to assign to him, it would be…

"Mother fucker," you swore under your breath as you finally finished your tasks.

This wasn't how you wanted to spend your day. But this was beyond your control. For now, you'd have to make do with whatever you were given. Taking it one day at a time was the only option you had. With the Irken ruler in your life, you had no choice.

"There you are!" he said, acknowledging you when you entered the building. "What took you so long?"

There was a smart ass remark on the tip of your tongue but you decided against saying it. Instead, you chose to ignore him and walked into the kitchen. You made a beeline to the refrigerator and opened up the freezer. Somehow, you managed to shove in a gallon of you favorite flavor of ice cream despite all the contents that were crammed into the small space.

You heard him call your name but you ignored him again. For now, you wanted to pretend like he wasn't even in your living room. Talking to him was the last thing you wanted to do.

You grabbed a tiny remote on top of your refrigerator and pointed it at the small boom box that sat on your table. You pressed a few buttons on the control and set it down. Music began to play and you began to dance subtly to the beat.

While you moved to the rhythm, you got out a bowl and began to serve yourself some ice cream.

"We're talking away, I don't know what to say, I'm to say I'll say it anyway!" you sang rather loudly, attempting to drown out his voice as he called for you again. "Today's another day to find you, shying away! I'll be coming for your love, okay? Take on me! Take on me! I'll be gone in a day or two..!"

You grabbed the chocolate syrup and poured a generous helping of it over your liberally sized bowl of ice cream. To go the extra mile, you grabbed a bag of chocolate chips from your fridge and poured some into the bowl.

Death by chocolate and 80's music sounded lovely to you.

You leaned against your counter, still half swaying to the music and spooning a decadent bite into your mouth. A moan of delight came from you as you ate it. It was like a chocolate orgasm. It probably was the unhealthiest thing you've eaten in awhile but it was irresistibly delicious as well. If it went straight to your hips, then that was problem for future you.

"EARTH HARPY!" your guest practically screamed.

"WHAT?!" you snapped back at him, nearly throwing your bowl of ice cream at him in the process.

The both of you stared back at each other, the song still playing. You glowered at him unhappily, demanding an answer to his persistent interruptions.

"Video games," he said. "Show me how to turn them on. I can't figure out your primitive system."

You scooped up some more ice cream and shoved it into your mouth. Angrily, you swallowed the spoonful and pushed past him, making your way to the living room.

"That music is awful, it's giving me a headache," he complained. "Turn it off or turn it down!"

"And you call me a fun sucker," you snapped back at him. You knelt down and turned on your gaming console for him. "Would my Tallest like to play a certain game? While I'm at it, do I have to pre-chew your food and change your diaper?"

"Eww, no. I'm not sharing my food with you."

"Pick a game, please."

Purple looked over the small collection you had amassed. There was an assortment of genres and types you had, ranging from first person shooters, fighting games, strategy and role playing games among other things. His huge eyes studied each cover and read the description on the back of the case, trying to figure out what he liked the most.

"This one," he plucked up and extended it to you. "I get to shoot things and blow things up, right?"

"'Nova Battles'?" you said. "It's fun but it's hard as hell mainly because it's a multiplayer game and I suck at online games."

"It takes place in space and different planets." He smiled largely. "Do I get to take over them?"

"No, you go to battlefields on those different planets and fight the enemy team. The point is to eliminate the enemy."

"I choose this!"

"This shit is hard."

"Well that's sad and unfortunate because I know I will excel at this. Now put it in!"

Inwardly, you smiled. You'd get to see him rage quit and throw a fit over losing and getting killed by campers and other unsavory characters. Oh, you'd have to see this. Watching him struggle and get frustrated would be so wonderful.

"Coming right up," you smiled.

You slid the disc into the console and the title screen popped up. You handed him the controller and he yanked it out of your hands eagerly.

"This should be easy enough!" Purple grinned. His antennae twitched in delight and anticipation. "I went through so many battle simulations back in my Academy days so this'll be a piece of cake."

"You were training to be a soldier?" you asked, a bit astonished.

"Oh, yeah! Before I became a Tallest, I was one of the most elite soldiers in the Irken Armada. I'm pretty good with weapons and I have great aim. I can definitely hold my own if I absolutely have to." He narrowed his eyes into a suspicious and scrutinizing gaze. "What, did you think I was a totally helpless damsel in distress?"

"…I'm not gonna answer that."

"Then don't. No need to show me the controls. I'll figure it out on my own as I play. I prefer it like that."

"I think that's a bad idea."

"You're questioning my skills and capabilities!?"

"This is a multiplayer game. That means you'll be facing other players like you from all over the world."

"Good! I'll give them a nice dose of Irken superiority and might! They will know the wrath of Almighty Tallest Purple!"

"…have at it then. I warned you."

You set him up with exactly what he wanted and found an available match for him. For a moment, you almost forgot about your ice cream and took another mouthful of it. Then you retreated up to the couch, sitting up on it and away from him.

The Irken lounged on the floor, presumably getting into a position that would make him most comfortable for this session. A competitive gleam shone in his purple eyes and he tightened his hold on the controller. He laughed softly and his noise slowly grew louder.

"I guess that's one thing I miss about being a soldier," he said. "The chaos and the rush of the battle was a heck of a thing! Now others do that for me."

You looked over to Baby's cage when you heard her shuffle about inside it. You smiled when you saw her standing up on her hind legs and staring expectantly at the door, hinting that she wanted to be let out.

"You feeling okay enough to come out now, stinker?" you called to her.

You walked over to her side and unlocked the door, inviting her to come out.

Purple's head twisted to your direction as soon as he heard the metal door open up. His eyes widened when he saw the mixed rabbit clamber out of her habitat and make a dash for him. The Tallest leapt up and threw himself backwards onto the couch, being sure to keep all his limbs and appendages away from the floor where the bunny lurked.

"Why did you do that?!" he demanded.

"Bunnies can't spend their whole lives in cages," you smirked. "It's not healthy for them and this is her home too."

"I don't like her! She bit me!"

"Because you got too close to her cage. She's territorial and you scared her."

Baby snorted loudly and stomped her back legs, displaying her mutual dislike for the Irken leader. She dashed off into a corner of the living room, taking cover from him for the time being.

"I'm not leaving this couch until you put that beast back," Purple remarked.

"Fine," you replied. "I thought you'd be scared of the huge dog, not the stubborn rabbit."

"The dog never bit me."

"Yet."

He snorted unhappily and went back to perusing the weapons, perks and costumes he could equip.

Although he was unpleasant and spoiled, you still were rather curious about him. It wasn't everyday that one came face to face with an alien; an alien overlord at that. Despite the fact he disgusted and infuriated you, there was a lot you wanted to ask him. If he was staying under your roof, you wanted to pick at his brain and try to understand what he was exactly. Not only that, by talking to him, you'd be able to figure out what was going on outside of Earth.

"I…" you cleared your throat, a bit unsure of where to start. "I have some questions. I'd like to know a thing or two."

"I'll answer them," he answered without looking back at you. He had finally spawned in was testing the movements and buttons of his character, getting a feel of things. "I just hope your inferior mind can take in all the information I have!"

"So, you're a warrior society? I guess that's a safe assumption?"

"Correct! The ultimate goal of the Irken Empire is complete universal domination. This mission has been ongoing for thousands of years and it will continue for many more years, Earth harpy. Every Irken has their specific job they must perform to ensure the smooth running of the Empire."

"From what you told me the other day, your empire must be big enough if it warranted this conflict you spoke of…"

"They're just a bunch of sorry losers!" He was hardly fazed as he was "quick scoped" by an enemy player. Purple simply changed weapons for his character and respawned. "It was because of the civil war that Red and I had to disappear. No one could be trusted after what happened."

"And this Red guy..?"

"He's my fellow Tallest. We grew up together and we've been always been each other's rivals and…" He shrugged his shoulders. "Friends, I guess. Irkens don't really have friends but our relationship is like that. We were always neck and neck with our heights too. One week, he'd have a growth spurt then I would be right behind him and it would rotate like that a lot. I was taller than him at one point then he'd be taller than me. Then it got to a point where we both stopped growing and it was decided we'd both become the leaders of our race."

"So your people don't come in peace…"

"Ha! No. Good one though."

This was not good. An intergalactic superpower like this was not something to be brushed off. Sooner or later, these aliens would end up on Earth and you were pretty certain your fellow Earthlings wouldn't be able to survive or combat them. They wouldn't stand a chance. But since Purple was now here in hiding, it'd be entirely possible he'd return with his forces and raze the planet or enslave your species. Last time you checked, you didn't want that to happen. Earth already had a hundred problems and a ruthless, expansive alien empire didn't need to be the one hundred and first problem.

And they didn't really believe in the concept of friendships..?

You'd thought you'd be satisfied with some of the answers you got. Instead, you were only more curious and had even more questions than you had earlier. Each and every single one of them needed to be enlightened.

You were drawn out of your inner reflections when he hooted in triumph.

"Ah, this long range rifle is wonderful!" he crooned. "This was my favorite gun to use back then… I was the best sniper in my class."

"Beginner's luck," you noted, seeing he made his first kill.

"No, it's pure skill and Irken instincts. There is a reason why we are the dominant species."

He made no move to hide his agenda either. He told you everything you asked of him which in all honesty, shocked you. Purple was either so overconfident and sure of himself or he was pitifully dull-witted. Or maybe it was a combination of all of those traits. Although he said he was in hiding, he made no effort to hide his title from you. Instead, he went on to abuse it, wanting you to be his servant in his exile.

This was all way more complex and wild than you originally perceived. You had a literal emperor sitting on your couch, playing video games and acting like nothing bugged him. He was in charge of this massive entity that spanned God only knew how many planets. There was a civil war tearing said empire apart and he had to flee or potentially die.

If he regained his throne, he'd continue his people's objectives and carry on with universal conquest. He might very well come back to Earth and assimilate it. You weren't going to forget that threat in the grocery store. This was a very real, scary possibility. Everything you held near and dear to you would be destroyed before you knew it.

Anxiously, you glanced at your shotgun that was leaning against the wall, just below your thermostat. Maybe you really should've shot him when you first saw him. Maybe you'd be doing your planet and the whole universe a favor.

"No, I gotta think this through more," you told yourself.

Perhaps you could barter or negotiate with him if it came down to it. As much as it made you cringe and flail about on the inside, maybe you could kiss up to him. Maybe you could get on his good side so you and your species wouldn't be exterminated. You would only do it for the good of your home.

"By the way," he said, shattering the awkward silence that prevailed in the living room, "those were the best donuts I ever had. You have no idea how hard it was for me to not eat every single one in the vehicle. I'd be disappointed if I ate them all then and left none for myself for later. That donut-witch has my seal of approval."

"Uh, that's good!" you said a little too quickly. "Good!"

For a second he glanced over his shoulder to look at you. Purple definitely noticed your tone and one of his antenna pricked upwards.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked. "You sound weird."

"Nothing," you replied, trying to sound more casual and relaxed.

"Do you Earthlings need to drink water or eat some fruit or something to calm down?"

"I'm fine, don't worry."

Purple allowed himself to be killed by a grenade in the game and set the controller aside. Then he turned to you, facing you fully. He rested his chin in one of his clawed hands. A tiny smile cracked across his face and his stare persisted.

"You're lying," he asserted.

"I'm not!" you growled.

"Irken are very good at perceiving things. Our senses are pretty keen."

"The hell are you on about?"

"You're scared."

He didn't need to know that. He didn't need to know your mindset was vulnerable and confused at this point. Weakness was the last thing you needed to show in front of the conquering, merciless soldier. He'd exploit it and you'd be outmaneuvered before you could even try to come up with a quick plan.

"No," you said, shaking your head.

"Yes," he grinned, placing a fingertip under your chin and forcing you to maintain eye contact with him. "Look… What's that one Earth phrase? 'You can't bullshit a bullshiter.'?"

"…yes."

"So stop it. Listen to me very closely. Sometimes, we ally ourselves with other species if it's beneficial for us. Now, we have known about Earth for awhile and we actually have an Invader on your planet. He's been here for awhile."

Now you were about to panic. Your eyes were hugely widened. Your heart rate began to climb. The fact that there was some sort of invader on Earth thoroughly petrified you.

How long were they here for? Why hadn't Purple touched base with or resided with this being?

"Oh, relax, he's totally incompetent," Purple said dismissively. "Red and I sent him here awhile back as a joke just to get him out of our way. All of Zim's plans fail and your planet is fine. The only reason why I'm on the same planet with him is because no one would think to look for me here!"

That still didn't sit well with you. It placated you a little bit but it still wigged you out. The Irken Empire was already quite familiar with Earth if that was the case. They knew enough about your planet and it was probably ripe for exploitation.

"Because of Zim," he continued, "we know a thing or two about Earth. Red and I came to realize the planet is actually pretty useful. So you're lucky!"

"How so?" you asked, swallowing roughly.

"Sweets are very important to any Irken's diet as I'm sure you know by now. That old hag's donuts are the best I ever had and I still have yet to eat more sweets this planet has to offer. I'm willing to spare this planet because of that. When I regain my power, Earth will become an ally of the Empire and your people won't be wiped out. We do need Human bakers after all!" He chuckled. "And I don't care what Red says either, Earth is mine and he won't be able to argue with me! I'll show him it'll be the best idea I ever had! So whaddaya think? Pretty brilliant, right?"

You thought you'd have time to process and reflect on all of this. Now it looked like Purple claimed Earth as his own private bakery. Now he was talking about making it his own. It sounded pretty much like a forced alliance (or annexation) but you tried to look on the bright side. At least Earth and its people would be safe. All they had to do was provide their alien superiors with delicious goodies.

Yet the nagging, dark thoughts persisted…

"I'm not sure if I can trust you," you said.

"You should!" he chirped. "After all, you have no choice but to do so."

Ah. He was also intimidating if it called for it.

"Oh, God…" you murmured.

"Oh, come on!" he said. "It'll be fun! Earth will be a favored planet. You should be honored and flattered! Do you know how many planets have wanted to ally themselves with us?"

"A lot, I'm sure…"

"Exactly! So, be happy. I would like to go back to that bakery and sample what more that hag has to offer. But in the meantime, I'll eat what's here."

Purple drew his finger away from beneath your chin. He turned his back to you and resumed his previous task of gaming. It was as if nothing had even happened.

You had plenty more questions for him but at this point, you were confused and frazzled beyond belief. Those things you wanted to ask him could wait until later. The phantom sensation of his fingertips under your chin lingered and your cheeks felt hot at that. That was totally unwarranted and you didn't even realize what happened until he drew his hand away. You'd be sure to tell him Earthling females were…very sensitive to touching.

All you could do was sit on the couch and watch as he actually did a very decent effort for a first timer. Your brain was frazzled and you tried to forget all about what just happened. You wanted to pretend as if it didn't exist. He outmaneuvered you before you could do the same to him. He already decided what he wanted to do and now you had to consider and prepare for what the future likely held.

Earth's fate was already decided and its leaders didn't even know it. Even if they did, chances were, they wouldn't be able to argue against it. They'd probably get vaporized if they had a thing or two to say about it. The planet's future was held in the hands of this immature, gluttonous brat.

Earth was screwed. All because of donuts…

(…)

"Agent Mothman, here's the data."

"Thanks, Agent Darkbootie."

"It seems that there was heavy military activity centralized along this area here."

The only light that shone in the room was the luminescence created from a computer screen. A boy sat before the display, his spectacled eyes studying the information his fellow agent forwarded to him. The image of the map was zoomed in on, magnifying the targeted area further. His stare narrowed, his suspicions already running wild. Paranoia began to gnaw at him.

"What do you think it is?" Dib asked.

"The official report is that a foreign drone crash landed in Red Leaf State Park," the man said. "The observatory two hundred miles away from the site reported seeing a large fireball entering Earth's atmosphere and heading towards the crash site. It traced the trajectory of the object and it was indeed observed coming from space. It wasn't in our atmosphere nor is it a satellite. My personal speculation? It's not a drone. This may very well be a cover up. I do think a more proper investigation is needed."

"Aliens?!"

"Mmm, maybe. It's certainly within the realm of possibility."

"Then I'll be more than happy to investigate it!"

"Very good, Agent Mothman. Be sure to carefully catalog everything you find. Being thorough is key. But also be aware, there are still some government agents and military personnel combing the site and surveying it. You don't want to get caught. Things could get very hairy."

"I'll be sure to document as I can, Darkbootie. I won't let you down. Mothman is on the case!"

The silhouetted figure of Dib's fellow agent nodded in understanding. He would surely convince his other colleagues in the Swollen Eyeball network about the very real alien threat that was always looming about.

"Then it's decided, this case is yours, Agent Mothman," the elder agent said. "Good luck. Darkbootie, out."

The feed was cut and Dib was left alone with the data and images Darkbootie left him. Deep inside, he had a strong hunch what this was. The young boy was absolutely convinced this was an alien vessel that crash landed on Earth. If an extraterrestrial vehicle had smashed into the ground, there was a very likely chance there was a pilot. And yet Darkbootie spoke nothing of anything being found aside from this "drone". It was possible that maybe the government had seized the entity already. But it was also possible it survived and ran off. It was on Earth, hiding and who knew what was on its mind.

"Maybe it's one of Zim's little friends," Dib's muttered to himself. "There was that whole thing with Tak but she hated him… Still had to stop her from destroying the Earth. But there's definitely more of those green creeps out there. I can't take any chances just in case if they try to team up with Zim. I have to find them before he does!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 6 Burying the Hatchet

(one day later)

Everything seemed alright despite how quiet things were.

During this time of the year, the deer population's rut was going on. Before the crash landing, you were seeing fresh deer rubs on tree trunks everywhere, a dead giveaway of males making their territorial claims. You've heard them snorting and locking antlers with each other even from a distance. You also saw some bucks fight a few times during your patrols. It was all normal though despite it being a bit intense and even cruel at times to watch them. They were still animals and they did what they did. They couldn't help it.

On this day however, it seemed as if the local deer kept a low profile. Undoubtedly, they were spooked by Purple's arrival and the presence of the government agents in the woods. It was possible they migrated to another area of the park that was less trafficked and more secluded. Once normalcy returned to this sector, they would return to their previous ranges and resume their lives as if nothing happened.

In fact, you noticed the presence of many other animals were scant. The forest was silent and its residents were quite elusive on this day. Even the common squirrels and chipmunks seemed as if they had vanished overnight. During your whole patrol, you only noticed a hawk flying overhead, a single rabbit that quickly retreated into its burrow and the fleeing form of a coyote.

It wasn't necessarily unexpected but it still crept you out. The presence of the animals assured you, letting you knew all was well. But the lack of the fauna gave you chills. You knew why they hid but it still unnerved you pretty thoroughly.

The rest of your daily patrol was uneventful. There were no signs of poachers. The trails were clear and unobstructed for any visitors. Everything was normal aside from the obvious observations.

You parked your quad in a grove of pine trees, hoping it would provide you with some cover. You climbed halfway up one of the smaller ones, trying to camouflage yourself beneath their thick and concealing branches. With your binoculars, you tried to spy on the ridge where the Tallest landed a few days earlier. It was a bit difficult to do since you sought cover under the pine branches but you opted to not risk being seen. You had no desire to be caught and end up being detained.

You were still restricted from patrolling that area until further notice but you couldn't contain your curiosity. You had no idea how long this would go on but you hoped the authorities would hurry up and leave. It was likely they'd be meticulous and remove everything but you hoped they'd miss something and leave it behind. You could seize it and bring it back to Purple. Perhaps he could enlighten you on it.

Ah, yes… There was also the loser who was crashing with you.

From the time he first turned on your gaming system yesterday afternoon, he was still playing. You went to bed and when you woke up, he was still playing the same game. An odd mixture of fascination and disgust stirred in you at the same time. You admired his dedication and skill but we're repulsed by his sheer laziness. It also was nice that he unlocked quite a few things for you and your kill-death ratio was looking very, very immaculate.

When you left to start your ranger duties for the day, he was still playing. There was a healthy chance he'd be playing on again. It was likely he would outlast the machine and the console would crash and burn before he would. Now you were starting to believe Irken endurance wasn't a bunch of bullshit after all.

Beneath the obsession with sugary junk food and video games, you knew there was a very legitimate threat. His true colors were all too intimidating and it freaked you out. You almost wished he was completely stupid and brain dead. He knew he had power and he had every intention to use and abuse it in the future. Purple was surprisingly calculating and perceptive.

Essentially, he was an enemy the Earth didn't know it had. Sure, he acted like a prima-donna and you sometimes forgot that he had another side to him. But there was so much more to him and what he could do. You underestimated him and you genuinely had no idea what to do now.

"Oh God, I'm so in for it now," you muttered to yourself.

It was hard to try to see anything through the concealing conifers. You could make out the shapes of trucks and SUVs parked on the ridge but that was all that you could discern. The agents were still there.

Hastily, you clambered out of your hiding spot when you heard the familiar roar of an ATV engine coming your way. Your footing nearly caused you to fall to the ground but you caught yourself at the last moment. You couldn't let anyone know you had been trying to spy on things.

They were coming down the trail at a decent pace, coercing you to stow away your binoculars in your backpack to look as unsuspicious as possible. You took out your notebook and pen, trying to make it seem as if you were writing down your observations and findings for the day. The less inconspicuous, the better. You had to act natural and not shady at all.

Patiently, you waited as the sound of the engine grew louder. You looked down the hill, seeing who was approaching. You blinked in surprise upon seeing it was one of your coworkers.

"Kendra, the Hell are you doing here?" you mumbled.

The blonde ranger locked eyes with you and waved to you. You waved back, acknowledging her. You felt like you could lower your guard with her.

A minute later, she pulled up beside you. She turned off her ATV and hopped off, making her way to your side.

"Hey, Kendra," you said, giving her a small smile, "what's up?"

"I have to talk to someone about this," she said, not even bothering to greet you back. You could easily pick up on the stress in her voice. "Zack tried to convince me but I told him to shove off."

"You talking about the crash?"

"Yes." The twenty five year old woman huffed and folded her arms across her chest. "Please agree with me, hon. That wasn't a drone, was it?"

You loathed being put on spot about this. Your coworker couldn't be led on to believe that the shuttle's pilot was being sheltered under your roof. No one could find out about it.

"Kendra, I really don't know if I wanna talk about this," you confessed, rubbing your temple.

"You saw it!" she persisted. "We all saw it! That asshole agent threatened us to keep our mouths shut! That wasn't a drone, there's no way it was! I'm not an astronaut or engineer or whatever but I know what I saw!"

"You gotta lower your voice, we can't let anyone know we're chatting about it."

Kendra looked guilty and wary for a moment. She briefly surveyed her surroundings and shook her head.

"That was a goddamn spaceship," she asserted. "That came from outer space."

"Look, we have to keep this between ourselves and no one else," you said.

"So you agree with me?"

"We were told to not to discuss these things with anyone. This is all strictly off record, do you understand me?"

"Of course!"

"Yeah… That wasn't a drone. It couldn't be a drone."

"Oh my God, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you agree with me!" There was elation in her tone. "It's like a cinderblock was lifted off my chest!"

"I don't know what we saw but I have a strong hunch it's not from this planet."

"It's an alien spaceship! I think it was manned."

"I mean, maybe… Maybe it was an alien drone or probe or something. I think that's possible too. What makes you think it had a pilot?"

"I saw some of those creep agents seizing my trap cams."

Your blood ran cold at those words. You tried so hard to keep a façade up but your jaw dropped in terror.

Every ranger had trap cams posted in their respective zones. It was to survey wildlife and keep an eye out for potential poacher activity. They were posted mainly along game trails and some other areas. It never occurred to you until Kendra revealed that information that maybe Purple had been spotted by one of those devices. One of them could very well have a snapshot of him stored away in its memory chip.

"I talked to the guy who was ransacking my device," she explained, oblivious to your mounting horror. "Apparently, they don't need our permission to retrieve and review our game cameras. I asked him what they needed it for and they said they were gonna crack down on poacher activity while they were in the area. God, can you believe the nerve of these clowns?! How stupid do they think I am? They're checking to see if E.T. got caught on my cameras! I think they wanna find it before it can phone home!"

This was really, really bad.

"And when did this happen?" you asked.

"Yesterday," she retorted. "Did you check yours?"

"No. I only check them once every few days, it totally slipped my mind!"

"Don't be surprised if you go check yours and you can't find them. I told Ted what happened too and he knew about it. They forced him to give up the coordinates for them and they seized them. He's as powerless as we are!"

Chances were, they confiscated all the devices and were reviewing any footage or photos that had been caught. They were really cracking down on this whole incident and taking this very seriously. They knew the truth of the matter and they knew it wasn't a foreign drone. They had their suspicions and they believed an alien survived and escaped into the woods. They were actively looking for him.

"They're looking for an alien I think," Kendra lowered her voice. "They know something's up. That thing landed in your zone… Did you hear or see anything?"

"No," you said. "I woke up because the crash scared my dog and rabbit. I went out, saw the fire and called Ted and that's what happened. I didn't see anything else."

"And even if they find something on those cameras, they won't tell us. The only way we'll know for sure is if we find it dead or something. I hope we find it before they do!"

Oh, she had no idea.

"So, what do we do?" you asked, deciding to play dumb and go along with your charade.

"Keep an eye out for anything weird," she said. "I know I sure will!"

"Same here. I just want these guys out of our woods. They're disturbing the wildlife anyway. I just want things to be normal again."

"Hon, shit's never gonna be normal again. There's a goddamn alien in the woods."

This was not good.

(two hours later)

He was in the exact same spot where you left him. He was still sitting on the couch in the same position. He had been playing Nova Battles for over twenty four hours. How your game system didn't explode or catch on fire by now was utterly beyond you.

You entered your home after wrapping up with your shift and were immediately met with the sight. Luckily, everything seemed to be intact but Purple seemingly hadn't budged. While you were happy he was content enough to still be playing it and thus occupying him, it also worried and disgusted you. How could he do that?

"Please tell me you took a break at some point," you said, inching your way closer to his side.

As you got closer, you could see the smears, stains and other unsanitary marks on his robes. There were even multiple cups and glasses on your coffee table all filled with different types of sodas. Half eaten and shredded bags of potato chips and other snacks were strewn about on your floor.

This guy made a pig look like a neat freak.

"You are gonna clean this up, right?" you suggested, your eyes hardening into a leer. "This is beyond gross!"

"I'm trying to concentrate!" he snapped. "This is a tie breaker!"

"Hurry up, we have important things to discuss!"

"Sit down and wait!"

You growled impatiently and waited for him to finish up.

Purple hooted in triumph about two minutes later and tossed the controller aside. He chuckled loudly and rested his hands behind his head, looking entirely pleased with himself.

"Good match," he retorted smugly. "Of course, I won, so it was perfect."

"Yeah, that's great," you rolled your eyes. "Discussion time, now!"

"Fine… What is it?"

You just couldn't understand how uncaring and oblivious he seemed to be. He might've fled his position of power to save his own skin but on the other side of the coin, he seemed also totally indifferent. Honestly, you didn't know how this infuriating creature was still alive.

"Okay, let me try to explain this…" you started. "It's part of my job to monitor the local wildlife. To help make my job a little easier, a ranger puts up trap cams in random locations. These cameras are automatically triggered when something walks close by them. The government seized my cameras and my coworkers' as well."

"So that means..?" he asked, inspecting the tips of his claws and looking entirely disinterested.

"You might've tripped one of my cameras at some point. You might've had an image taken of you, Purple."

That got his attention in an instant. His eyes widened and he frowned, looking concerned and a bit vulnerable you divulged. It was nice to know he wasn't completely oblivious to his livelihood.

"That's…" he said. "That's not good."

"Nope, it ain't," you answered. "My coworker told me these things. And frankly, we may be in trouble if you've been caught on one of my cameras. They're gonna come here and question me. Even if we manage to dodge the bullet by some freak chance, you also have to worry about my coworker."

"Why?"

"Because she's absolutely convinced you're still here and she's right. Kendra knows what she saw when she saw your wrecked shuttle. She knows an alien escaped and ran off into the woods. She'll be on the lookout for you. If she manages to find out about your existence, I can't tell you what may happen."

"How about we just abduct her and take out her brain and replace it with a roach's?"

"No!"

"Why? It'd be kinda funny!"

"Because I like her and that's wrong!"

"But we wouldn't have to worry about her foiling our plans!"

"Look, the most pressing matter is my government suspecting you're here. They will do far worse things to you than Kendra will. They'll interrogate you, dissect you or God knows what."

His lower lip jutted out slightly and he averted his gaze for a few moments. Purple looked a little upset with your news.

"What if they do come here looking for me?" he asked.

You really had no idea how to reply to that. A part of you felt bad for him while another fragment of you felt pleased he was going through this. This was karma coming back at him for being a huge dickwad. Fortunately for Purple, you were more kind than mean.

"Look…" you sighed heavily. "I already told them I know nothing. They took my statement. I told you I would shelter and I'll do that. I'm gonna shelter you as much as I can. You have to help me, help you, okay? When I'm telling you to do something, I'm telling you to do it for your own good. I'm not doing it to be a huge bitch. I'm trying to help you."

Honestly, you were unsure if you should be harboring and helping a horrible, tyrannical creature like him. His people were rebelling against him and they probably had a great and viable reason to do so. He was probably a terrible person but you had no idea of the scope of what he had done. You could only speculate for as long as you worked with what he divulged to you.

"I know it's a lot for you to understand to take in," you continued. "And staying on this planet and adapting to everything is culture shock to you. But trust me. I'm gonna try to keep your skin safe along with mine."

He smiled. His antennae twitched and his grin turned cheeky and arrogant.

"You'd betray your own kind for me?" he said sweetly. "That says a lot about you."

"No, I just want to help people," you said. Technically, he was correct from a certain point of view. You really were betraying your own race. "You're a refugee and I know what they'll do to you if they get their hands on you. You don't deserve that fate. That's why I'm helping you."

"And if you shelter me and protect me while I remain on Earth, I will reward you. Remember how I said Earth will become allied with the Irken Empire? I'll make sure you answer only to me. I'll make sure you and the donut-witch are my personal servants!"

"Sounds great..."

"See! It's not so bad! Earthlings are useful! Just do as I say and everything will be okay!"

"Y'know, Earthlings are stubborn and a lot of them won't be happy about someone taking them over. A lot of them are probably going to try to resist you."

Purple could only shrug.

"Too bad," he said. "They don't have a say in the matter. They should be happy I'm not gonna blow up their planet."

You only sighed heavily. You were gonna be one of those unhappy folks if he ever went forward with all this stuff. He had no right to make all these decisions and choices. It angered you but you forced yourself to let it go for now. He was indeed a threat. But you also didn't want to end up doing something you might seriously regret. 

"So, in short, you have to trust me," you explained. "Can you please do that? We both have to trust ourselves and cooperate if we're going to avoid being found out. Let's try to start out on a better foot. What do you say?"

Humans were very confusing creatures, that much Purple realized so far. The one who was sheltering him was no exception. He infuriated her and the Irken had to admit he found it entertaining. And now she was reaching out to him like this, pleading for his cooperation and effort. It was a strange thing indeed.

As far as he was concerned, he had every intention to remain alive. He was going to reclaim his power and punish those who had defied and betrayed him and his co-Tallest. Purple was going to make sure of that. He wanted his revenge.

Most importantly, he wanted her dead. Everything was her fault.

It hurt his Irken pride to rely upon this Earthling for sanctuary. But he knew he was being hunted and he needed to lay low. He managed to retain some information about Earth from what he remembered from Zim's rants, raves and observations. Yet actually staying on Earth and blending in was a whole new challenge. This was on a different level.

He needed this ranger to be his guide and protector for now. He hated the reality but he knew it was one he had to deal with if he wanted a chance to rule again. He would rather take a risk with her than instead of crashing with Zim at his base. That was something he absolutely refused to even joke about. 

"Yeah, yeah," he said. "I know. You're my best chance at getting what I want. We do need each other. I don't want to end up having my squeedily spooch ripped out by your leaders. I can take care of myself but I know I have to be careful. You make plenty of sense, Earth woman!"

"Thanks," you smiled. Genuinely, you were relieved. "I'm glad we're on the same page. Now can I ask you to do a favor for me?"

"Which is..?"

You gestured to the unholy amount of filth that was in your living room. Purple sighed loudly, sounding like a teenaged boy who was ordered to do his chores or risk an ass-whooping.

"Okay," he said, "but you have to help me!"

"Fair enough," you chuckled. "Baby steps."

(…)

Lyn's eyes grew wider as she studied the small, shining gems before her. A smile was on her face and she ran her fingers through the crystals and precious minerals, loving the feel of them. Their luminosity reflected off her bright eyes, entrancing the female Irken.

"These were seized from a passing freighter," the soldier explained. "We've confiscated them as per your orders, Commander."

"And you've done excellently, Bik," Lyn replied to her subordinate. "You see, since I've defected and forsaken the Empire, I was granted more…freedom of thought and peace of mind. I guess this is what other species call a 'hobby'. I love collecting and observing gems."

Like Lyn, Bik was also an Irken rebel. He was once a janitorial drone and had forsaken his assigning. He had grown sick of the menial and humdrum duties he was given. Simply put, he wanted more in his life and held his nation in contempt for giving him such a fate. It also didn't help that he was rather short and was often forced to clean up after the messes left behind by the taller, higher class Irken.

"I never really had much of a…hobby either," the tiny, green eyed Irken shrugged. "Although I do like sabotaging and hotwiring ships." He cackled. "That's been a bit fun to do since I've joined the Resisty and became an infiltrator."

"And don't you feel better doing what you want?" the taller Irken smiled. "Don't you feel happier? There's no risk being terminated for daring to have likes and interests that the Empire would view as trivial."

"Sure. I mean, who wouldn't like their freedom?"

Lyn's smile softened further and her remaining antenna twitched happily. It was true. Her freedom and abandonment of her mission was the best thing that ever happened to her. She didn't miss the past at all. Neither would she ever return to it.

"My favorite gems are diamonds, sapphires and emeralds," Lyn sighed. "They're such calming and priceless things… Their colors are so beautiful." Delicately, she picked up a sapphire amidst the pile and turned it over in her hand, noting it and appreciating its deep, serene hue. "Naturally, these gems are created under drastic circumstances over many years under a planet's crust. Look how they emerged so beautifully after that stress, pressure and time. It's humbling really."

"Lard Nar says we have to turn them over so we can use these gems to fund the Resisty further," Bik noted. "He said that every gem counts."

"I know."

Bik swallowed nervously at the unexpected edge in her tone. He watched as Lyn sifted through the container of gems. The smaller Irken wouldn't dare try to upset her. As far as he was concerned, he still loved life. Every time he glanced at her bracelets, he could feel his squeedily-spooch clench in nausea.

"Commander Lyn?" he started.

"Yes, Bik?" the female alien said without looking back at him.

"Those bracelets around your wrists…" He folded his hands together. "Is that story true?"

Lyn glanced at her jewelry. She smiled at them and chuckled gently.

"Indeed," she confirmed. "They're my greatest trophies and pride for that matter."

Bik had a feeling that was the case. He was more than aware of the story that surrounded the bracelets she wore. Everyone in the Irken Empire knew about it. Though they looked simple enough, they were quite controversial and infamous. In fact, their creation signaled Lyn's abandonment of her duties and the beginning of her treason.

A sour, heavy frown then formed on Lyn's face as she plucked up one of the gems from the mass. Her eyes had almost evolved into slits and her stare was as cold and hard as the shiny rocks she coveted.

"Though there are some gems I am not fond of," she remarked.

Bik noticed the small amethyst shard in the palm of her gloved hand. He was silent, afraid to even move or speak for fear of angering her further.

"Such an ugly color," Lyn sniffed indignantly.

"I mean…" Bik hesitated. "It's okay… It's alright, I guess."

"I hate it. Lard Nar can make do without this one." Carelessly, she tossed the amethyst aside, not concerned where it had fallen or what had become of it. "Can you please contact him and let him know we'll send these over to him?"

"Sure, right away, Commander Lyn."

Bik was simply happy to get away from the taller Irken. He bounded off to go contact his superior and be rid of Lyn's presence.

Lyn's head was turned downwards, surveying the collection. Hissing quietly to herself, she isolated and tossed aside a few more amethyst pieces. She would have none of them. They needed to be purged. They served no use.

A flash of a new color temporarily halted her and she almost dropped the container on the floor. Her eyes widened and Lyn delicately sorted through the gems. Her movements slowed and they were almost cautious.

The gem lain before her, unveiled and marvelous. It was a rather large but stunning and lustrous ruby. The rebel leader was enchanted by the treasure and she scooped it up into both of her hands. She never blinked and she continued to gaze into the red prisms. The universe almost seemed like it no longer existed around her. Her whole life was encapsulated within this precious mineral and she was remembering it all.

There was the blood, sweat and fruits of her labor. She thought she had value. She thought she was appreciated or better yet, even respected. She was convinced that good and wonderful things would come to those who waited. Her hard work, profound loyalty and steep sacrifices would reward her handsomely.

She received nothing but a hurtful hollowness.

"I wasted enough of my life on you," she icily stated.

Her whole body trembled and she strode over to the air lock. Lyn shoved the ruby into the chamber and sealed it, preparing it for the void. Then she slammed her hand on the ejection mechanism, nearly crushing the panel in the process.

She watched as the ruby was sucked out into the expanse of space. Her eyes lingered on it, watching as the red object floated out of view.

"What a horrible color…"

Chapter Text

Chapter 7 Insert Bar Joke

(three days later)

"Bambi, come!"

The big mutt dutifully answered your call and he entered the cabin. His big, brown eyes looked back at you innocently and he sat down on the carpet. He gazed at you expectantly, eyeing the bag of dog cookies you had in your hand. Bambi let out a brief bark, raising one of his paws and panting happily, savoring the treat to come.

"You did your business for the night, mister?" you said. "You're all done going potty?"

Bambi barked again, his tail wagging faster. If anything fragile was by that tail, it would've been easily knocked onto the floor and shattered. He was a large dog and he didn't know his own strength at times.

"Good job, boy!" you praised, giving him a tender smile.

You grabbed one of the cookies and held it in your hand. Then you knelt down and outstretched your palm, beckoning him to take it. Bambi gingerly took the treat and happily munched on it, his tail never stopping. Bits of cookie fell to the floor but they were quickly licked up by the dog seconds later.

Bambi raised his ears briefly when Baby bounded over to investigate him. Both dog and bunny greeted each other peacefully, sniffing one another and pressing their snouts together. Then they both went their separate ways, Bambi retreating to the kitchen to chew on a bone and Baby to lounge by the warmth of the fire place.

You counted yourself lucky that both of your pets got along well with one another. You adopted Bambi from a shelter when he was a puppy and you ended up getting Baby from the same shelter a few months later. They were both young when you took them in and the two grew up together. In the beginning, you had to monitor them to make sure one wouldn't hurt the other. Despite Bambi's size, he was very gentle with other animals and would rather cuddle with them instead of rip them to shreds. Baby was more rambunctious and ornery on the other end but she tolerated her larger sibling most of the time.

You locked the door, preparing to settle down for the night. It was pitch dark and cold outside. If you could avoid going out, you'd prefer it. From what you heard on the news, there was a chance of frost accumulating overnight. It looked like you were going to keep your fire going on all night.

Behind you, you could hear the sound of your guest channel surfing. One show would play for a few seconds before it would fail to catch his interest and then he'd move on to the next station. From what it sounded like, he was stuck between the sports and history channels, trying to find something to entertain him.

"These shows are garbage!" he complained. "How do you put up with these?"

You turned around, seeing Purple looking a bit peeved and frustrated. The clicker was clenched tightly in his clawed, long fingers. His eyes were narrowed and he gave the television an annoyed glare.

"That's why I sometimes won't turn on my TV for a few days," you remarked. "Or I watch movies if I'm feeling really desperate."

"Ugh, this is painful!" the Irken sighed. "Seriously, if I'm staying here, we have to find some other forms of entertainment! I got sick of the video games after awhile too. Is there any place we can go to?"

"I'd prefer to stay home tonight, it's dark and cold and I want to camp by the fire."

"Come on! We can go into the town and see if there's something to do!"

Since the both of you decided to behave more civilly with one another, things calmed down slightly. There was a bit of an improvement but Purple's natural demeanor still annoyed you at times. You couldn't take the ass out of the asshole totally and you saw you'd have to live with it. Whining and complaining wouldn't change anything and you knew it. You'd have to take whatever lemons life threw at you and try to make the best lemonade possible out of them.

A few days passed and nothing remarkable happened. Purple primarily frequented the living room, kitchen and his bedroom. He also started to get a little stir crazy and you had no desire to deal with an alien who was catching cabin fever. It was a recipe for disaster and you didn't want to risk seeing something like this. In the worst case scenario, the both of you would end up being discovered.

"Earth woman, please!" he begged. "My PAK will malfunction and my brain will rot if I don't do something!"

You moaned out loud and rested a palm against your forehead.

"Purple, please," you pleaded in return. "It was a long day at work for me and I'd like to sleep in and do nothing…"

"You're off tomorrow, right?" he asked.

"Well, yeah."

"Let's go out and do something, it's not like you have to work tomorrow. Let's go have some fun!"

You realized you weren't going to win this fight. It was only seven o'clock and you weren't going to listen to him whine for a few more hours. In order to give yourself some peace, you had to appease him.

"Okay, fine," you said, sighing in defeat.

"Yay!" he beamed happily, his eyes lighting up like Christmas bulbs.

"But I get to choose where we go."

"It better be someplace fun!"

"I think you'll enjoy it. It's called a bar."

"Hey, I've heard of that before… It's where Humans go to get drunk and make complete fools of themselves." His grin turned huge. "I like the way you think, let's go now!"

"You're gonna put on your disguise, right?"

"Don't be stupid, of course I will!"

"Good. I'm just checking."

"Now, this is what I call fun." He rubbed his hands together, cackling evilly as he did so. "It'll be entertaining to see these beasts stumble about and vomit on each other!"

"It's a Friday night so there will be a lot of people there, Purple. We can't draw too much attention to ourselves, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it!"

"Okay. It's settled. Let me get some more appropriate clothes on and we'll go."

"Hurry up! Don't take too long!"

You rolled your eyes and hustled out of the living room. All you cared about now was getting out of the house for a bit and entertain the exiled Tallest. Anymore, you began to realize that if he was happy, you were also happy. If he wasn't appeased, he'd let it be known and he'd heckle and pester you until his needs were met. At the back of your head, you still hoped he'd leave at any minute.

(One hour later)

As expected, the bar was bustling and busy. The one you decided to frequent, The Honey Pot, was one of the more popular drinking holes in Red Leaf and it was usually occupied by tourists and locals alike. It also functioned as a small restaurant but this establishment was primarily known and praised for its spirits collection and bar food. On the weekend, this business was particularly busy and even more so during the summer and fall months when tourists were visiting in heavier numbers.

While you felt a bit claustrophobic being in this place, it also worked to your advantage. With so many patrons, hopefully Purple wouldn't be as noticeable. Everyone would be focused on watching one of the multiple TVs that hung from the ceiling, downing their shots or chatting merrily with their friends. Perhaps you and your Irken guest would be able to find a little oasis of peace and not draw attention to yourselves.

His disguise was still as convincing as ever. Granted that some drunkard didn't spill his drink all over him, his holographic trick wouldn't be revealed. To play it safe and avoid any mishaps, you settled on a table nestled in a corner away from the bar. It'd be best to keep him away from any fellow Humans for as long as possible.

"I want the nachos," he said as he looked over the menu.

"Didn't you just eat an entire chocolate cake three hours ago?" you asked.

"Yeah but I want to try their nachos! They're slathered in cheese and they sound so good!"

"I forgot you have tapeworms…"

"No parasites could survive an Irken's squeedily-spooch! Don't make me laugh! We're not bothered by such nasty things!"

"If you're getting nachos, then I'll settle for some French fries and cheese sauce."

"I'll have an order of those too."

"Okay. Throw that onto my bill as well…"

A waitress came over to your table, smiling away and ready to take your order. Internally, you cringed and hoped all would go well. God, you hoped he wouldn't make this awkward or suspicious.

"Hey, guys, welcome!" she said. Her voice was raised, undoubtedly trying to match the level of the patrons and televisions so she could be heard. "Sorry for the wait, it's a bit packed here as you can tell."

"Oh, it's okay, we don't mind," you said, smiling at her.

"My name is Sammy and I'll be taking care of you guys tonight. Are you ready to order?"

"Yes, Sammy, I am!" Purple grinned cheekily. "Can I get an order of the extra large portion of the nachos? And I'll take an extra large portion of the fries too. And let them swim in that precious cheese sauce!"

"Wow, you guys must be hungry!"

"Ha, they're mine!"

For a second, Sammy looked shocked at his claim but she quickly dropped it.

"And you, honey, do you want anything?" she asked you.

"A medium portion of cheese fries, please," you said, annunciating your "please" in front of Purple.

"Any drinks?"

"Can I have some water? I'm the designated driver."

"Let me have the…" Purple squinted at the menu selection, reading the entry. "I'll have the 'Slutty Chocolate Mudslide'. That sounds delicious!"

Oh my God…

"Okay!" Sammy said, writing everything down on her notepad. "Give me a few minutes, I'll be back with your drinks! Thanks for your patience!"

The brunette waitress hustled off but didn't go far as she was hailed by another table.

Your jaw was dropped and you turned your head to Purple. He wore a rather satisfied, smug smile on his face. It seemed like he had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"Did you just order an alcoholic beverage?" you asked, wanting to make sure this really was happening.

"It's got chocolate and cookie crumbles in it!" he grinned away. He opened up the menu, turning to the spirits section to review what he selected. "Melted candy bar, cookie bits and chocolate liquor and…voh-dka?… It sounds amazing! What's voh-dka?"

"Purple, it's pronounced 'vodka' and it's one of the strongest drinks on this planet. Do you have alcoholic drinks where you come from? Are you sure this isn't gonna kill you?"

"Oh, sure! I've tried it before but I didn't like it! I never bothered to try it again after that. But this! This sounds perfect! I'll drink twenty of these things!"

"You'd probably be dead after the seventh one!"

"As if! Irkens aren't lightweights. It'll take a bit to make me feel anything! We're built for endurance unlike you filthy beasts!"

"But you have no idea how you'll react to this…" You lowered your voice, remembering you wanted this to be low key and not draw any attention. There was a chance no one noticed you but that inkling of paranoia wasn't going to leave you be. "Please, you have to be responsible. I really don't think you should drink this."

"I'm an adult!" He scoffed and crossed his arms. "I don't have to listen to you. It has chocolate and cookies in it, I must try this concoction! I'd be insane if I didn't give it a try!"

You weren't going to stop him because you knew it would probably get a few pairs of eyes looking at you. He did have a rather loud voice and it could be high pitched in certain instances. Those traits would really get some attention drawn, especially if he was having a fit and fighting with you over this issue. You had no choice but to quietly allow this and pray nothing horrible would come about.

"Alright, fine," you exhaled. "I'm not pushing it anymore."

"Why don't you get yourself something to drink while you're at it?" he suggested. "Maybe you'd be more fun if you had something."

You shot him a withering glare.

"Drinking and driving is illegal," you retorted. "So I have to be dry. And I forbid you to drive my truck so I especially have to be sober."

"That's a stupid law," he sniffed. "Just have one or two, no one will know."

"No. I'd get into a lot of trouble if I were to get caught by a cop. And because I work at a state park, I have to have a clean record. I could get fired and I would lose my house. So, no. Stop trying to be an enabler."

Purple only rolled his eyes. He leaned back in his seat and crossed his legs.

"You take your job so seriously," he said. "How'd you get it?"

"My grandfather was a naturalist and my dad was a ranger too," you answered. "I guess you can say that nature runs in my family. It seemed right for me to become a ranger and look after the flora and fauna."

"Where is your family? I know humans have them."

"Had."

Your conversation was interrupted when Sammy came back with your chosen drinks. The chocolaty alcoholic beverage was set in front of Purple and the water was placed before you. The Tallest squirmed happily in his seat, even squealing in joy for as long as he looked at it. Admittedly, it did look amazing. You were tempted to sneak a sip in but you knew he would probably bite your jugular out if you tried a stunt like that.

"Thank you!" you told the waitress.

"No problem!" she smiled. "The food will be out soon enough."

She was off again before you knew it.

"Purple…" you said warningly.

"Yes?" he asked, his smile huge. His hands came around the drinking vessel, brining it closer to him.

"Go easy. You're a skinny guy so this stuff will hit you like a ton of bricks. And with you being what you are, I can't begin to imagine what this will do to you…"

"What are you, some sort of expert on the matter?"

"No but I'm sure I've drunken way more than you have. You don't want to drink this stuff on an empty stomach too, it hits you that much harder. You have to sip leisurely, take your time and…"

He didn't give a shit for what you had to say. Your advice was unceremoniously thrown out the window and straight into a flaming dumpster. Hastily, he lifted it up to his mouth and began to gulp it down. Purple greedily downed the drink much to your horror and chagrin. He was absolutely insane.

All you could do was stare back at him, your eyes widened and disbelieving he had done this. It was like talking to a brick wall.

"Oh, mother of God," you mumbled, pinching the bridge of your nose.

Somehow, he managed to down the entire drink without taking a breath. It took about a minute but it was done. Purple loudly slammed the glass down on the table.

"That was great!" he commented, his eyes widened in delight. "I could really taste the chocolate! Not bad at all! I think I could go for another one."

"Hell no," you deadpanned. "No."

"I'm fine! I can handle it! I don't feel anything at all!"

"Eat your food then maybe I'll let you have another drink. And that's only if I'm feeling super generous!"

"Come on, I'm alive, right?"

"Look, I'm not your babysitter! I shouldn't even be having this discussion with you! Purple, you will end up killing yourself! Listen to what I'm saying and STOP!"

Remarkably, he did just that. He fell silent and he only stared back at you. The Irken overlord almost seemed as if he was in suspended animation. You had to admit, you felt a little prideful for shutting his mouth and getting him to see reason.

"Good," you said, sipping your water. "Remember what I said? I'm not trying to be a huge bitch and be a fun…"

Abruptly, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his whole body slumped forward. His forehead crashed against the tabletop, scaring the crap out of you and instantly derailing your train of thought. His body was totally immobile and no sign of life came from him.

For a few, solid seconds, all you could do was gaze at what you just saw unfold. Your eyes were huge and your jaw hung, disbelieving what happened. A wave of cold dread washed over you. You felt your heart slither its way up your throat and it felt like your stomach plummeted into your feet. You could feel the color leave your face.

He literally just dropped dead.

Somehow, you managed to snap yourself out of your stupor. Numbly, you reached out and set your hand on his shoulder and gently shook him. He didn't react to your action and he remained unmoving.

"Purple, cut the crap," you whispered, pleading into his ear. "Get up, people are gonna be staring..!"

You received no response. Despite this inactivity, his hologram disguise was still in effect. You figured that if he really was dead, maybe it would've ceased. But his lack of life was not putting you at ease.

Your head turned away, checking to see if you might've accumulated an audience. Luckily, it looked like no one else was aware of your dilemma. Everyone was busy drinking, eating, chatting or watching TV. The less people that were onto your crisis, the better it was. It made you feel a little bit relieved but you still had a possibly deceased alien sitting across from you.

"Purple!" you said a little louder and more earnestly. "Please, please tell me you're okay! Don't die on me in a restaurant full of people!"

You were almost given the most ferocious head butt of your life but you managed to move away at the last moment. A yelp came from you as the Tallest's head suddenly lifted up. His eyes were open and he appeared alert and aware. He looked a little uneasy for a second but a smile graced his face and he looked to you.

"Sorry about that," he said, acting as if nothing had even happened.

"What the hell was that about?!" you demanded through gritted teeth.

He only laughed at you. His laughter was a bit raucous and high pitched which wasn't what you were expecting.

"Pft, you were scared!" he said, giving you a cheeky smile. "I told you…" He let out an embarrassingly loud and guttural belch. "It's okay!" His grin became increasingly lopsided as each second ticked by. "My body went into a state of shock I guess… But my PAK restarted my organs so I'm okay!"

"Wait, were you clinically dead for a minute or two?" you asked, quite aghast by his insinuation.

"Maybe, I don't know." He waved a hand dismissively. "Who cares, I'm alive and kicking, right?!" He laughed again. You could've sworn you could hear something unusual in his tone. "It's not toxic but I might've had too much too quickly…"

"So I was right. I fucking told you, you idiot."

"Okay, okay…maybe… maybe you know a thing or two, Earthling. I was told your species was tall but dumb… That's kinda true but you seem like you have a good head, she-beast."

"…are you drunk?"

"Ah, so this is what it is! I feel…weird!"

The both of you were interrupted when your waitress showed up at the table with your desired food. She was still smiling away and she placed your respective dishes in front of you.

"You guys doing okay?" she asked.

"More Chocolate Slut, please," Purple giggled, unable to keep a straight face. "Or whatever you call this thing!"

"Honey, you pounded that drink in no time!" She was truly astonished. "Are you okay?"

"Never been better! I haven't felt this good since I shot Skoodge out of the cannon-thingy..!"

"He's a jokester alright," you chuckled, trying to divert Sammy's attention away from him. "And yes, he will have another. Thank you for the food too!"

"I love fries so much…" Purple's face was almost in the cheesy platter of French fries. He smiled dopily and sniffed them deeply, taking in their scent. "I'll see if these are better than the ones from Conventia!"

Thankfully, Sammy had walked away whenever she saw his face lowered to his plate. She would only keep her head down and do her job. There was no way she was going to ask about what was going on.

You grabbed your fork and jabbed one of your cheese-covered fries with it. You watched Purple as he drunkenly fumbled to hold his own utensil and struggle to spear one of his fries.

"Why don't you have your nachos instead?" you suggested, feeling some pity for him. "At least you can eat them with your fingers easier."

"No, no, no…!" he rambled. "I-I got this! There!"

He cackled as he finally managed to stab one of the French fries and jammed it into his mouth. Purple groaned in delight at the taste and began to shove more into his mouth, apparently pleased with how they were. At least he would be appeased for the moment, however long that truly lasted.

Now you were really starting to regret getting him another one of those drinks. It pert near killed him and now he was smashed and wanting another one. It also looked like it affected him far more quickly than it would for an average human. Undoubtedly, it was because of his alien biology being exposed to such a powerful and new tonic. On top of that, he was sloppily eating his food. You felt like you had to watch out for him more than you ever did before. He was already reckless and impulsive. With him being inebriated, there was no telling what might happen.

"You feel okay?" you pressed, testing the waters.

"I feel great!" he beamed. There was already some cheese sauce smeared on his chin. "The Earth alcohol tasted better than the stuff I had a long time ago! It was some filthy Vortian brew… Then we enslaved them!"

"What're you gonna do when you get your drink, Purple?"

"Slow… drink it slow."

"Yep."

"Y'know, there-there are females in my race."

"Ah, that's nice. I figured. You got a girlfriend?"

"Ha!" Purple snorted and shook his head. "No! I'm not smart and handsome enough! Red got all of them!"

"He's your friend and co-Tallest, right?"

"Yeah. We grew up together, we hatched at the same time actually!" He smiled and he had a nostalgic gleam in his eyes. "But, man, is he a jerk! Sometimes I just wanna…chew his antenna off!"

You found yourself chuckling at his statement. You smiled and took another bite of your fries.

"I get it," you said. "He's a friend you've had for forever but he drives you crazy. That's normal actually."

"Yeah!" Purple said, slamming an open palm on the table. "You understand me, she-beast!"

"Got another drink for you, honey!" Sammy chimed in.

The waitress placed the drink down in front of Purple. As quickly as she appeared, she vanished. Honestly, you didn't blame her. No matter what, you'd be sure to give her a generous tip after this was all said and done.

Purple used both hands to steady the glass and he took a cautionary sip. He smiled at the flavor and set it down before resuming eating his sloppy, cheesy food.

"But, yeah, Red…" Purple resumed. "He thinks he's so cool and all that! Well, he's not!" He raised his voice, his drunken anger becoming more obvious. "He's a big, fat loser! He always…always thought he was better than me! He still does!"

"He's your friend and he treats you this way?" you asked.

You had to admit, you were intrigued by this. While it may end up being somewhat of a disaster in letting him imbibe some more, you could already tell he was a chatty drunk. He already divulged some interesting information to your earlier but with him in this state, he might tell you more. You were intensely curious about his species and what exactly they were all about. If he was going to give you an entire lecture about his history, culture, biology and whatever else, you were going to sit there and be all ears. There was no way you were going to squander this opportunity.

"Irken don't have friends," he noted. Purple took another sip of his drink. "We don't have family either. We live, we serve the Empire, we die and then our PAKs' data are added to the Control Brains and that's it."

"But you consider Red a friend…" you said.

"He is!" He groaned loudly and rubbed his head. "Ugh, my head is aching me a little…"

"You did smash your skull on the table when you died for two minutes." You sighed, taking another mouthful of your fries. "But tell me more, Purple. Tell me more about Red."

"You wouldn't like him. He's a jerk. And I don't like sharing things with him either."

"I guess that makes sense…"

"He's part of the reason why we had to run and hide! He was so stupid and stubborn!" Purple growled and ground his jaws. "He had to be an idiot… And then look what happened! It's his fault! One of our finest invaders was a defective then turned into a traitor and Pax got turned into jewelry!"

WHAT.

"Wait, what?" you asked, raising an eyebrow. "Who's Pax? What the hell are you talking about?"

Purple seemed like he was hesitating. He lifted his glass again and this time he took a few, hearty gulps of his drink. His eyes were glued to the wooden table top and it looked like he was becoming increasingly flustered. His fingers tightened around his glass and you were half expecting it to explode in his grasp.

"Purple, are you okay?" you asked softly.

"I didn't like Pax," the Tallest resumed, finally finding his voice again. "Yeah, she was tall but whatever." He snorted and waved his hand carelessly. "If Red wasn't a Tallest, then I would've never let this happen! If I had all the power, I..!" He paused and shoved a handful of gooey nachos into his mouth. He continued to speak, talking with his mouth open. "Sharing power is a pain sometimes… We have to share because we're the exact same height. I have to deal with what he does and yet he still tries to be the head honcho!"

"I see…"

"I don't want to talk about Red anymore." He burped and a stray piece of nacho flew out of his mouth. Carelessly, he picked it up and tossed it back into his maw. "Everything's his stupid fault."

You wanted an info dump, you got an info dump. Desperately, you wanted to know more about this matter. This was the cause of this civil war that had cost the exiled Tallest his power. His impaired ramblings had only added more questions instead of answering some you already had. It ate away at you but you saw it was best to leave it be for now. His mood had soured quickly and if he was going to be potentially become angry or even violent, you wanted to avoid it. A scene was the last thing you wanted to have happen. God forbid that the cops should get involved for that matter too.

Who was this Pax person? And did his species really not have families?

"Okay, fair enough," you conceded. "Let's talk about something else. What do you want to discuss?"

The Irken ruler took another swig of his beverage. This time, he was more fluid and steady with drinking it. Already, it seemed like some of his building rage had dissipated. Now you wanted to keep him calm and happy.

"I wanna talk about you," he grinned crookedly. "I wanna talk about Earthlings."

"Right…" you said. "What exactly?"

"Though your race is a gross one, it's fascinating. You come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, colors and whatever. That stuff on your head, hair..? Yeah, hair! It's so colorful! You Humans can change it to whatever color whenever you want to. Kinda makes me wish I had some!" His smile turned goofy and larger. "It's neat!"

"Thanks. I'm glad you at least admire that about us."

"Can I see your hair?"

You blinked in confusion. But you snapped yourself out of it, reminding yourself to keep him complacent and content.

"Yeah," you nodded.

You left your seat across from him and then parked yourself next to him. You turned your back to him, presenting your locks to Purple. Inwardly, you cringed, hoping he wouldn't get alcohol and cheese sauce all over your hair. You really didn't want to end up strangling him.

You could feel his breath on the back of your neck. A chill ran down your spine as you could sense him scooting closer. Your eyes widened for a moment when you heard him sniff your hair. His fingers were running through it and you were actually surprised with how gentle he was. Purple took his time, wanting to examine and explore your tresses, having never touched such a thing before.

"It smells really good," he commented.

Even you weren't ready to hear those words. A warm redness enveloped your cheeks and you were so thankful he didn't see the blossoming blush. You could feel your heart racing in your ribcage and you began to hope he'd hurry up.

"Zim never said Humans smell nice," he sighed. Still, he played with and caressed your hair. "He said you were all smelly and ugly."

"That's not true," you said. "Well…yes and no. Some of us smell nice and others smell like ass roasting on a hot, humid mid-August day. It's all subjective."

"Ha, he's wrong as usual. I shouldn't be surprised. Do all females of your kind smell so nice?"

"Some do, some don't."

"I guess I got lucky and picked a nice smelling Human."

You supposed that wasn't so bad. If you smelled awful, you were pretty sure you'd be thoroughly embarrassed or humiliated. If you smelled, you hoped someone would tell you so you could do something about it. You weren't usually terribly self conscious but you also stressed over having a bad, natural aroma.

"Thanks…" you muttered.

You tried your hardest to ignore the warmth in your face but it was totally pointless. You reminded yourself he was only drunk and didn't know what he was doing. He was loquacious, observant and not as big of a jerk as he was when he was sober and uninhibited. It seemed like he also had no concept of personal space as well.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for karaoke!" the bartender called out on a microphone. "Don't be shy! Step up!"

As soon as the bartender ceased speaking, you could feel Purple hurriedly and rudely clambering over you. You almost thought his foot was in your mouth for a split second before he hustled out of the booth. The disguised Irken half-stumbled and half-ran to the bar to register for the event.

"I'm first!" he said, shoving in between two men at the bar. "I'm first, it's me!"

The bartender that made the announcement almost had her very soul scared out of her. For a moment, she stared back at the strange man, a bit surprised by his speed and insistence in being first.

"Okay, sir…" she said nervously. "Go up to the stage and pick your song…"

You finally recovered in enough time and wedged your way out of your booth. Cursing beneath your breath, you followed after Purple as he made his way over to a small, elevated platform. On the platform stood two stools, a speaker system, microphone stand and a karaoke machine. You saw a disaster playing out before your eyes so you hurried along to meet him there. The last thing you needed was a few hundred dollars coming out of your wallet to pay for a destroyed karaoke set up.

"Wait, what're you doing?" you pressed.

"I'm gonna sing!" he stated the obvious. "I always wanted to try karaoke!"

"Here, let me do this for you. I don't want you gagging all over this equipment."

"Go get me my drink, she-beast, I know what I'm doing!"

"Pardon me..?"

"Pretty please with sugar on top?"

"…fine."

As you walked back over to your table, you rolled your eyes. You muttered unhappily under your breath. He knew your name but he insisted on calling you a plethora of other things instead. It was rather annoying but for now, you'd let him get away with it. Right now, you didn't want to fight him over something like this in front of all these other patrons.

"Kick his ass later," you privately reminded yourself. "Don't stand out in a bar, for God's sake."

With one hand, you grabbed his half consumed drink and with your free one, you stole a gob of his nachos. Smirking to yourself, you walked back over to the karaoke platform. He was fiddling with the microphone and dusting the unseen dust off his clever disguise.

You handed his beverage to him and he hastily finished it up. Purple sighed in satisfaction and set the empty glass on one of the stools. Giggling to himself, he fiddled with the machine and selected his desired song.

"You…" he continued to cackle. "You're gonna recognize this song, she-beast."

"I hope I don't," you admitted.

A few seconds later, you could hear the tune start to play. Purple snatched up the microphone and eyed the words that were starting to appear on the screen. He squinted his eyes and released another disgusting, unflattering burp.

"Oh my God, you are a pig," you said under your breath.

Naturally, his repulsive belch attracted some attention. Nearly every other customer in the building eyed him up, most of their gazes looking peeved and slighted. It looked like they weren't necessarily pleased with his burping into the microphone and having it amplified throughout the crowded bar. You offered them an apologetic look and a mouthed "sorry" to them, hoping it would appease them and prompt them to go about their business.

"Do you believe in life after love?!" he sang.

Visibly, you cringed. He was terribly off key and clearly had never practiced singing at all in his entire life. His higher-pitched voice also did nothing to help him in this situation either. In fact, it only made his singing worse. If you could describe it, it sounded like a nails on a chalkboard magnified to the tenth power.

In short, it was goddamn awful.

"I can feel something inside me say I really don't think you're strong enough, no!" Purple continued to sing, completely oblivious to his lack of talent and skill. "Do you believe in life after love? I can feel something inside me say I really don't think you're strong enough, no! No matter how hard I try, you keep pushing me aside and I can't break through. There's no talking to you! So sad that you're leaving, takes time to believe it. Oh, after all is said and done, you're gonna be the lonely one, oh! Do you believe in life after love?!"

This was going to be a long night. So much for the peaceful evening you originally envisioned.

(three hours later)

"Ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive…!"

"Come on, let's go home, I got you!"

"C-come on..! We don't have to leave!"

"Yes, it's time, Purple. Remember what I told you about listening to me for your own good?"

"Yeah…"

"It's one of those times, come on. You need to lay down and sleep."

"We don't need sleep! Why sleep when we must conquer the universe?!"

"Then why did I find you passed out on my couch this morning? Your trap was wide open and you were snoring away." He didn't even bother to give you a real answer. All he did was moan loudly and continue placing most of his weight on your shoulder. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

That was more than enough fun for one night. You thanked God he didn't get into a fight with anyone. Honestly, you counted yourself extremely lucky that nothing got violent or hostile. He earned more than enough sneers and curious glances but that was it. All he did was drink, ramble about topics you had no idea what they were about and sing horribly. You had to babysit him the entire time but you told yourself the experience could've been way worse.

Now you found yourself almost dragging him out of the establishment and to your car. You supported his frame, forcing him to stand up and stagger along while you walked for yourself and him. His right arm rested along the length of your shoulders, anchoring himself to you and using you as support. Fortunately for you, he didn't weigh that a lot so it was that much easier for you to haul him along.

"We…" he slurred, hiccupping slightly as he spoke. "We can come back later, right..?"

"Not for awhile," you answered.

"I…I-I don't feel so good..!"

You could feel this unholy gurgling noise well up from deep within his body. Your eyes widened in horror, realizing what was about to happen.

As quickly as you could, you slid him off your shoulder but still supported him by wrapping an arm around his chest. Purple collapsed to his knees and proceeded to vomit all over the parking lot. You nearly gagged as well from the sound of it and the stench was simply overpowering.

He must've emptied his squeedily-spooch for a good solid minute or two before he eventually stopped. The Tallest heaved heavily and his head hung low. You could feel his body tremble as you held him, keeping him from laying down on the cold asphalt.

"Can you stand?" you asked.

"I'm fine," he exhaled.

"Come on, I got you. You're almost to the truck. I have napkins in it and you can wipe yourself off when we get in."

The Irken forced himself to stand up again. He leaned heavily against you, relying on you to usher him to your truck.

"I think I will sleep…" he said weakly. "I can't eat anything else tonight."

"Smart move," you noted. "Give your stomach a rest, okay?"

You started to walk again. You glanced down at the ground, wanting to make sure you wouldn't step on the foul, biological waste he just expelled from his gut. All you noticed was that it was colored green and black. It was interesting that you were probably one of the only Humans to ever see alien throw up but it was still a disgusting discovery nonetheless.

"Excuse me!"

You nearly dropped Purple when you heard the voice. Whoever they were, they sounded completely unfamiliar and it caught you off guard. It had to have been another bar patron that was coming up to you.

You turned around to face the unexpected company. What you didn't anticipate was a kid standing behind you. You blinked, totally astonished and unsure of how to even process this realization. Maybe the extraterrestrial vomit fumes were capable of mind altering abilities and you were now seeing things.

"Where're your parents?" you asked, confused as all Hell.

The child had to be a preteen or in his early teens. He was a bit on the short end and he seemed like he had an uncannily large head. His hair was black and it seemed like it ended in some oddly shaped point. He wore glasses as well. The boy's clothes consisted of a black trench coat, a light blue shirt with a ghost on it, some red, converse-style shoes and some dark blue pants.

"Excuse me, miss, I was wondering if I could ask you some questions, it won't take long at all," the boy explained.

"It's nearly midnight, you shouldn't be running around at this hour!" you lightly chastised him.

"Look, have you seen anything unusual around this town for the past few days? Have you seen any weird or unfamiliar people wandering around?"

"Like government agents? Because there are plenty of them! I'm sorry but who are you?"

"I'm a paranormal investigator, I heard reports that a possible alien spaceship crashed in the state park. I just wanted to check to see what other people may know about the incident."

Nothing could stop you from breaking out into a cold sweat at what this big-headed kid just said. You knew the citizens of Red Leaf were certainly suspicious of the crash landing in your zone but as far as you knew, everyone seemed to by the cover up story that it was a foreign drone. But that also didn't mean at least a few folks didn't believe the government's official statement regarding the incident. Instantly, you thought that maybe Kendra might've called in this pint-sized investigator in to poke around. If your suspicions were proven correct, you were going to tear your coworker a new one.

You felt cornered and intimidated. You had no idea a minor could scare you this badly. His spectacled eyes stared back at you, expecting you to answer him at any moment now. There was no way you could let him know you were literally holding an inebriated alien up at this exact moment.

"Hey…" Purple slurred. "I think I know you, kid!"

The youth narrowed his gaze and it turned to the disguised Irken instead.

"Do you?" Dib asked, truly curious.

"I know that large head from anywhere!" the Tallest guffawed.

"Kid, I'm so sorry!" you cut in, refusing Purple from screwing the both of you over. "My cousin is very drunk and he doesn't know what he's talking about. Frankly, you shouldn't be even seeing this."

"It's…okay," Dib said. He was perplexed and he didn't tear his stare from Purple.

"Look… I'm a ranger and I work at Red Leaf State Park. I was there when it happened. If you're an investigator and you want your answers, I'll be happy to help. Can I meet you at the visitor's center tomorrow? How does noon sound?"

"Sure, that sounds fine. I'll meet you there. What's your name by the way?"

"You're awfully mature for your age, you're smarter than most adults which is pretty scary." You also divulged your name to him. "I'm sorry I can't help right now but you caught me at a very bad time. I'll see you at noon!"

You didn't spare him any more time. As gingerly yet as briskly as you could, you walked Purple the remaining one hundred feet over to your truck. The farther you could get him away from bar and this supposed investigator, the better off you were.

You thought it was so bizarre it seemed like he had no guardian with him but for the moment, you were more concerned about hiding the truth. If the cat was let out of the bag, it was game over for the both of you. As far as you were concerned, you weren't ready to spend the rest of your life behind bars.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8 Rise to Action

(…)

"I don't like this… It's too quiet!"

The lack of activity and his classmate's absence from the skool yesterday made him quite suspicious. It was a little invigorating and relieving not having his nemesis breathing down his neck, thwarting his plans and watching his every move, always ready to strike back. It was something he also anticipated on a daily basis. It was what he was used to and it had been that way for the past few years. This change of routine was something that caught him off guard.

"The wretched Dib-Thing is plotting something, I can smell it!"

The small, green, vivacious creature twiddled his thumbs and sat at the foot of a display screen. He was reading the results of a scan, seeing that it appeared his enemy was elusive. The alien magnified the scope of his search, seeing that his quarry wasn't within the city limits. Apparently, he had left but where he had gone was completely unknown to him.

"He's vanished!" The alien grunted and narrowed his large eyes, rereading the results for the tenth time. "I must make him un-vanished if that is the case! The filthy meat-monkey will not evade the watchful eye of ZIM!" He paused for a moment. "GIR! Come here!"

In an instant, the head of his mechanical assistant appeared from the top of the ceiling. The Irken Invader jumped at GIR's sudden entrance, spooking him for an instant.

"I see you!" the defective SIR unit chuckled as he dangled from the wires that were strung up above.

"Focus, GIR!" his master instructed. "Come down, I must speak with you!"

With the grace and poise of a boulder ballerina, the tiny robot went tumbling down from his post. He landed unceremoniously on his head, looking entirely unfazed when he made impact.

"No more monkeys bouncing on the bed!" the metal being sang merrily.

"GIR!" Zim cleared his throat. "We must discuss something important!"

The robot's normally blue optics turned red and GIR picked himself up off the floor. He stood up properly and straightened his posture. He saluted his superior and his expression hardened, turning serious and analytical.

"Yes, my master?" he urged, his tone turning grim.

"Our infernal enemy, the wretched Dib, has disappeared!" Zim bemoaned. "He must be found at any cost! GIR! I need you to watch the base while I am absent! Ensure that nothing happens and keep out any and all intruders… Is that clear?"

The red hue in his optics shifted to their usual, blue color once again. The robot smiled dopily and bounced about on his metal cranium, hooting happily as he did so.

"One fell off and bonked his head!" GIR continued to sing, horribly high pitched and out of key.

"Be serious!" Zim half begged and half demanded. "I won't be back until I've located him. I must find him before it's too late! Who knows what that filthy Dib is up too! I won't let him win!"

"Sir!" Zim nearly jumped when he heard his computer's voice chime in. "I've uncovered something pretty cool with the spyware!"

"Well, what are you waiting for?! Show me!"

The screen changed, displaying a series of photos and classified documents that were meant to be hidden from all but the highest government officials. Zim had created some viruses and malware, intending to sabotage and spy upon the world's governments and look for signs of vulnerability or some other interesting tidbit he could exploit in his favor. Lately, all of the things he had seen so far were entirely unimpressive according to his standards. Any other Earthling would've been fascinated and flabbergasted by what he had uncovered on the other hand. One man's trash was another man's treasure.

There were papers and reports that had things written across them like "Bigfoot Has a Vacation House in the Maldives", "The Timberdoodle Does Exist", "Count Cocoa Fang Sighted in Russian Sauna", "The Loch Ness Monster is Named Tim" and other strange, bizarre titles. Along with the documents were photos of some cryptids and even some suspicious looking Earthlings. Nothing seemed to appeal to him.

"These are all stupid and pointless thingies, Computer!" Zim ranted. "Where is the interesting bit you've promised me?!"

"It's coming right up, sir!" the artificial intelligence droned back, albeit a little saucily.

It had been two years since the last time Zim was contacted by his leaders, the Almighty Tallest. Every time he attempted to establish communication with the Massive, he was met with the frightened visage of their top advisor, Rarl Kove. Kove explained to Zim that the pair had gone off on an extended vacation and he wasn't sure when they would be back. The higher ranking Irken was always brief during their exchanges and clearly had no desire to chat with the Invader yet Zim was completely blind to his reluctance. Zim had understood the Tallests' decision to go on a holiday and didn't question the advisor since he wanted his leaders to rest and relax. After all, with being so tall and mighty, it must've put a lot of stress on them…

But nowadays, his patience was wearing thin. Surely the Tallest would come back sooner or later and take full control of Operation Impending Doom Two once again. At any day, he was expecting to have the Tallest contact him at long last. They would ask him about the progress regarding his mission on Earth and Zim would regale to them all the schemes and concoctions he managed to cook up during their two year absence. One of these brilliant plans would have to appeal to both Tallests and they'd be more than happy to give Zim the green light.

Zim's already large eyes seemed to widen even more. He was beheld a particular and all too familiar image on the screen. He leaned forward, his disbelief growing larger and larger as the reality sunk in with each second that ticked by.

He blinked a few times wanting to make sure what he was seeing was truly real.

"It's a spittle runner!" Zim said incredulously. "It's a newer model and customized too… The stinky Earth government has it?! This is not good! Computer, how old is this document?"

"According to what I've uncovered, it crash landed on Earth about a week ago," the computer responded. "It appears this document was loaded up onto the archive two days ago and it seems like it still needs to be edited and completed…"

"They're still working on it! They haven't finished analyzing their finding yet." Zim sat in silence for a few moments, wondering what exactly was going on. "It better not be the hideous harpy, Tak! I defeated her once and I will do it again! But… I don't get the feeling that it is her."

"It also seems that the pilot wasn't found. It's written that they suspect the pilot survived and left the scene of the crash."

"Yet again, there is another Irken on my assigned planet!" Zim snarled and balled his hands into fists. "I won't allow it! I won't let them take my mission from me!" He turned around to face GIR. "There's been a change of plans, GIR, the horrible, plotting Dib can wait for now!"

"What you gonna do now?" GIR asked, still happily hopping away on his head.

"Track down the pilot and make sure they don't steal my mission! Earth is mine to destroy! GIR, I still want you to stay behind and monitor the base. I must go undercover and find them myself."

"Okay, have fun!"

Zim ignored his robotic minion and turned his attention back to the screen. He zoomed in on the document, analyzing the pages that so far consisted of the half-finished report. He needed as many details as possible so he could prepare himself for whatever was ahead. He needed to get to the bottom of this mystery as quickly as possible.

(…)

"Gaz, where is your brother?"

The purple haired girl could only grunt in acknowledgement at her father's voice. At the moment, she was too invested in playing Nova Battles. All of her attention was currently invested in trying to win at the online match she was embroiled in. Her parent's question could wait for another minute or two.

"Daughter, I know video games are important and I know you love them," Professor Membrane lectured her. He was speaking to his second child through the floating video monitor he often communicated with his progeny through. "But the skool has contacted me saying he was absent yesterday and I need to write an excuse for him."

Gaz growled quietly as her character was slain by the same sniper for what felt like the thousandth time. She nearly snapped her controller in half but she wouldn't let her anger get to her just yet. This enemy was good but he wasn't as good as her. The match wasn't lost yet. She and her team still had the chance to turn the tides of the match and claim victory.

"Dib skipped school yesterday to go visit some place where he said an alien ship crash landed," she finally replied to her parent.

Membrane sighed in disappointment. While he was happy his son was intelligent and passionate about something, he was vexed and disturbed that Dib had such an unhealthy interest in the paranormal. Time and time again, he told himself it was merely a phase he was invested in and his eldest would grow out of it. But it seemed like it only grew more intense and ardent. Dib's obsession with this branch of pseudoscience was something he hoped would get over sooner rather than later.

"My poor, insane son," he remarked. "I let him go out on these jaunts, hoping it'll get out of his system and he'll move onto bigger and more respectable fields of study. But no, it only seems to become more freakish! When will he ever grow out of this?!"

"Probably never," Gaz duly noted. She spawned back into the map, determined to exact her revenge and claim her win. "He said he should be back before the weekend. Today's Saturday, Dad. Dib should be home by tomorrow night. He better be."

"Fair enough. Stay out of trouble, Gaz!"

The video call ended and the image of the Professor faded.

Gaz only smirked to herself. Her brother was away for a bit and she could enjoy her video games in peace. She wouldn't have to listen to his voice and deal with Zim's stupidity.

(…)

"No! No, no, no!" Purple leered at the television screen, snarling while he did so. His hands trembled as he held the controller in his hand. "I had you! That's unfair! I was winning!"

There was only so much time left in the match and both teams were in a stalemate up until a few minutes ago. It looked like he and his team were winning in the very beginning of the session but now it seemed like it was a complete reversal. He kept getting killed by the same person over and over again. It was infuriating and humiliating and Purple felt like his temper was about to explode.

"Curse you, Piggypizza666!" he yelled. "I will vaporize you and everything you love! You took my victory from me!"

"Don't you break my stuff!" you warned him. "That costs money and your habits are already costing me a pretty penny!"

"They're cheating!" The Almighty Tallest was throwing an almighty fit over this ordeal. "They must be a hacker!"

"Have you considered that maybe you met your match? They say there's always someone better than you."

"Lies!" Angrily, he spawned in again. He was going to give it his all and wrest control from the enemy that was humiliating him. "I am the best at this game! I am in control and I won't be beaten! There's no way they can defeat me! I am a Tallest and I will win!"

You rolled your eyes and decided to tune out his fevered ranting. He'd get over it and then calm down by eating three pounds of donuts.

From what you noticed, he seemed to shrug off his hangover very quickly. In fact, it seemed like that after he slept for a few, good, solid hours, he was perfectly normal. It was almost as if he wasn't totally hammered last night, singing horribly, barfing and being a chatterbox. There seemed to be no hangover at all now that you thought about it. Maybe his species was incapable of experiencing them.

When you brought him back home, you helped him out of the truck and escorted him to the guest bedroom where he stayed. You provided him with a bucket in case if he was hit with the urge to vomit and let him be to sleep off his inebriation. As soon as you lowered him onto his bed and he settled on the mattress, he was out like a light. Within seconds, he was snoring away and lost in sleep. You were pretty sure he wasn't going to die in his sleep from alcohol poisoning so you decided to leave him be and let him recover on his own.

It was strange but you had to admit, you had some fun. Every once in awhile, you and you coworkers would go into town and have a few drinks but lately, you hadn't done so. At first, you were anxious and concerned about bringing Purple into such a public place but for the most part, everything went alright. Talking to him was very intriguing and you definitely wanted to discuss more about the Irken Empire and species as a whole with him. Plus, you wanted to know more about this supposed civil war that was happening in the universe. Your curiosity needed to be sated.

But for now, that'd have to wait. You didn't forget you had this interview with that strange, junior paranormal investigator. The whole confrontation was beyond bizarre and made you more than uncomfortable yet you'd go through with this. He seemed determined and he looked like he was going to be undeterred until he got his answers. You'd humor this strange kid, give him his answers and come straight back home. The key was not getting to admit that you were sheltering an alien ruler in your cabin.

"I'll be back soon," you called to him. You put your coat on and grabbed your keys. "I'm hoping this only takes an hour at the most."

Purple didn't even reply to you. Instead of answering, he let out a howl of agony and dropped the controller. He buried his face into his hands and rocked back and forth on the couch. Apparently, he lost the match and he wasn't able to redeem his honor and worth.

"I almost had it!" he bemoaned. "I failed! I lost to the vile hacker!" He released a dramatic and frustrated moan. "I will have my revenge and make sure I get my rightfully earned victory!"

You could offer no comment and let him to mourn over his petty failures in silence. You took your chance and silently slipped out of your home to get your interview done and over with. The last thing you heard before shutting the door and walking away was him threatening to hack into the game and track down the offending gamer to finish them off in person.

It was probably just a bunch of hot air but you told yourself it was a problem for future you.

(Red Leaf State Park visitor center)

It was a Saturday and unsurprisingly, it was a bit busy. Weekends were typically busiest during the fall and with the weather being sunny and semi-warm on this particular day, it was especially occupied. From the look of it, it seemed like mostly bird watchers and hikers were frequenting the park today. Visitors were eager to get their outdoor activities done before the winter would officially arrive and discourage a lot of visitors until spring.

Despite the fact that the "drone" crash happened some days earlier, the park was still open to the public. The ridge where the incident happened was naturally closed off and most of the trails were open and the park patrons were encouraged to remain on those pathways. Signs were also posted by the government authorities that still cleaned up the site, telling any curious folks that they would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law if they intended to trespass onto the restricted zone. You were more than aware of their ominous presence but seeing those posted notices only reminded you of just how serious and threatening they were.

You entered the main lobby of the building, seeing the usual sights and set up of a typical park visitor's center. But it was also something like a miniature museum of sorts as well. Numerous taxidermy displays were spread out through the large, expansive room. A few deer were mounted but there were also other animals like a black bear, two coyotes, a fox, possum and a very big raccoon that happened to be the state record. Some guests were busy examining and inspecting the stuffed animals.

Aside from the animals, there was a small collection located in the corner of the lobby. Beneath a few glass cases, there were plaster casts of some very large, suspicious yet hauntingly human-looking footprints. There were also some locks of long, brownish-black, coarse hair and some grainy photographs on display as well. The photographs were of a large, hairy creature and that seemed to linger behind some trees or hide within some thick, concealing brush.

When you glanced over at the Bigfoot collection, you spotted the youth from last night. He was adamantly looking over the footprints, taking pictures of some of them and looking pretty pleased. You chuckled to yourself, figuring it'd be obvious that this paranormal investigator would be drawn to this particular feature.

"He's pretty much Red Leaf's unofficial town mascot," you said, making your way over to the strange kid.

Dib looked over when he heard your voice.

"You have a nice collection of Bigfoot stuff, ma'am," he said. "I've researched a good bit on the Red Leaf Bigfoot sightings. Have you ever seen him? Do you believe in him?"

"I've never had the pleasure of meeting the big guy but I think he exists," you replied. "I've been there when they took some of those casts and I've heard some strange howls during my years out there in the woods." You paused and tried to look as discreet as possible. You were going to pretend as if you were simply talking to a curious visitor. This was going to be strictly off record. "But let's cut to the chase, kid, we both know you're not here to talk about Bigfoot. What questions do you have for me?"

"So you were there when it happened?"

"Yes, I was. I woke up the night it crashed, I saw fire up on the ridge and the senior ranger got a hold of the authorities. And then he got a hold of the cops who called in the federal guys."

"And what did you see?"

This was where you had to be careful. You had to tell him what you were told. If this kid was a paranormal investigator, then you'd have to be particularly convincing and assure him that's all it was; a foreign drone.

"I know when I saw it for the first time, I was a bit shocked," you began. "I didn't know what I was looking at in the beginning. It had a good deal of damage done to it. I'm no pilot, no engineer or astronaut or whatever but it looked like some sort of flying craft. Honestly, I don't know what to make out what I saw. The agents who showed up said it was a downed drone from another country."

"And you believe what they told you?" Dib asked, tilting his head to the side.

"I'm merely trusting in their judgment. I'm a ranger. I can tell you about all sorts of animals and what runs around in my woods. But when it comes down to the thing we're talking about, I can't comment too much. They said it's a drone, I'm gonna have to believe them."

"I received a tip about this drone actually being an alien craft that crash landed. Do you think maybe that's what you saw? Do you even believe in life out there in that big, wide universe?"

"Of course I do. Kid, it's literally impossible for us to be the only life. All those billions of galaxies who in turn hold an insane amount of stars and then there are all those planets that rotate around those stars?" You gave him a serious look. "It's scientifically impossible for us to be alone. So, yeah, I believe. But do I think an alien ship landed in the woods? I can't tell you. I don't know."

"You seem like a smart adult. You seem smarter than a lot of the adults I come into contact with on a daily basis."

"I can't tell whether you're insulting me or complimenting me, kid. If you're insulting me, we can end this interview right now."

"Look, I just need to know these things because I'm on a mission." His tone became more adamant, more insistent. "You believe in aliens? Then maybe you won't dismiss the idea that they're on Earth at this moment!"

Oh dear. This kid was one of those individuals. Now you had to tread even more cautiously.

"Well…" you shrugged. You were becoming increasingly unsure how to navigate this. "There are all these folks who have accounts of seeing UFOs, being abducted or meeting aliens… All of them can't be hoaxes or being mistaken for other things. So maybe Earth has been visited in the past, present and most likely in the future too."

"I have a reason to believe that an alien crashed in your park and is running around in the woods or among us as we speak!" the spirited youth said. "I'm working on my own, personal case as we speak. There's an alien who's my classmate and he's bent on world domination! His name is Zim and I have to stop him no matter what! He's been sent on a mission to take over the Earth by his leaders, the Almighty Tallest!"

This had to be the same Zim Purple referred to a few times already. It was also strange how Purple thought he recognized Dib even in his drunken stupor. Somehow, he must've seen or met Dib before and that was how he remembered him. You were glad you shut him up and got him out of there before he could blow his own cover and endanger the both of you. This business was becoming too intertwined and was making you uncomfortable and anxious as more details emerged.

It didn't help that Dib was aware of the Tallests' existence and he knew who they were. He especially couldn't find out you were letting Purple hide at your cabin. There was no way that you wanted this kid stalking you and trying to figure out if you really were harboring an alien. You really didn't want to be in the middle of this mess.

It was a small universe after all.

"You don't believe me!" he griped, noticing your silence as you internally screamed.

"Dib," you said in a stern tone but said it softly enough to try to calm him and not draw attention at the same time. "Dib, I'm not judging you. I don't know what's going on with your life and I haven't seen the things you've seen."

"But you have to believe me! No one else does!"

"Look, please, don't make a scene here! I'm gonna have to kick you out if you create a big enough stink!"

"I think that the alien who crashed here is connected to Zim! I have to find them before Zim does!"

"I don't know what to tell you. And I highly suggest you don't stick around here either. You see, the government doesn't care if you're a minor or not and they won't hesitate to crack down on you if you poke about. I have nothing else to tell you."

The big-headed boy looked totally flustered and at a loss for words. Honestly, you felt a bit bad for him. A part of you wanted to reach out but you knew you couldn't tell a soul about this. You couldn't divulge that you were sheltering a creature that he sought. You had a feeling things would go out of control insanely quickly and they'd be out of your hands before you knew it. Plus, there was no telling what Dib would do if you told him the truth about everything. What could this junior investigator do anyway?

"Fine," he huffed, resting his face in the palm of your hand. "Thanks for your time, I guess."

"You're welcome, young man," you said, trying to be cordial and mature. "I wish you luck with your investigation."

Defeated, Dib walked off without another word. He seemed like he sulked as he walked along, making his way for the exit.

Frankly, you felt like you dodged a bullet. Some part of you suspected he didn't believe you every single word you told him. You could only hope you wouldn't find him prowling around your cabin one night. Or hope the agrents didn't seize him if he decided to investigate around the crash site. He was bold and intelligent and you gave him credit for that.

"What was that all about?"

You almost leapt out of your skin when you heard Ted's voice. You turned around, seeing your boss approaching you. The middle aged man wore a concerned look on his face.

"Hey, Ted," you addressed your superior.

"What's going on?" he questioned. "Looks like that weird kid was making a big fuss over something."

"He was a paranormal investigator. He was asking about what happened a few days ago."

He became even more worried when he heard your words.

"You told him nothing about it, right?" he persisted.

"Ted, I told him what we were instructed to tell everyone who asked about the incident," you remarked. "I really don't feel like getting a visit from those federal goons or some Men in Black and have them threaten me."

"Good. Let's keep up the act."

"Trust me, I'm not gonna be saying anything to anyone, especially some overly curious kid."

"I almost wish he was here to ask about Bigfoot. I'd happily deal with him yapping my ear off about that."

"He was interested in our display though… But large apes were the last things on his mind today."

"Those agents are still keeping a close eye on things. I still have to forward everything to them. You know to keep your eyes peeled, right?"

"Of course."

"They seized all the trap cameras in the park and they didn't find anything on them."

You felt massively relieved with that bit of info he disclosed to you. Now you knew for a fact that the Irken hadn't been captured on a photo. There was one less piece of evidence that might've suggested the elusive pilot was close by. That just meant these creeps were that much closer with wrapping up their business in Red Leaf. If nothing was turning up, they were wasting their time and resources and in return, they'd depart and head out to greener pastures. The quicker they left, the easier your life would be.

"Maybe it was an unmanned alien craft," Ted theorized. "Maybe nothing was in there after all. I don't know."

"It's possible," you added. "Before you know it, we'll be able to make our rounds and patrols in our zones without any interference. It'll feel like we can breathe again."

"Ain't that the truth?" The older man snorted. "I'd much rather deal with a cranky bear waking up from a tranquilizer-induced sleep than some agent who is just looking for a reason to throw me into the slammer."

"I couldn't agree more…"

(the edge of Irken occupied space)

"Everything I did, I did for you..! I conquered worlds! I murdered their leaders with my own two hands!"

He ended up getting no sleep. As weary as he was, the Irken couldn't find his peace. Even in the middle of nowhere, he couldn't deflate and find serenity. His mind was addled by sleep deprivation and constant stress. His PAK was working overtime on keeping him upright and functioning.

The tall, insect-like alien grasped onto the blue-colored, stout tuber he had dug up from the ground. Dirt was all over his hands and they smelled heavily of moist soil. His robes were filthy and tattered as were all the other spare garments he had brought with him on his indefinite, lengthy trip. Even his green skin was slightly mottled with imperfections like dirty blemishes and small cuts, giving away the fact he had been living like a beast for some time.

He turned his head, looking all around himself to make sure the coast was clear. Big, red eyes studied their surroundings carefully, making sure he truly was alone. He was fully prepared to fight back in an instant and dispose of anyone if they did happen to stumble upon him. There was no way he could be discovered. Everything and everyone was suspect. He was meant to be in hiding but he would viciously defend himself if need be.

He already did it once before.

Hungrily, he began to devour the object, his hands shaking subtly as he held the food. Luckily for him, the planet he was on was rich with these curious, subterranean flora and they provided him with the much needed sugar and carbohydrates his body required. They tasted quite foul but they provided him with necessary nutrients. It was either eat the tubers or starve to death and the Irken was quite incapable of succumbing to such a fate. He loved food too much to surrender to malnutrition.

"These scars on my face? I was given them because of you. My antenna? An angry native almost decapitated me but I managed to evade in time."

The tuber was greedily consumed in mere seconds. Everything had to be done in haste and with great care. To him, it felt like even something such as eating cut in on precious moments. He had to devote most of his energy into stealth and concealment.

The disgraced Irken leader ducked low beneath the brambles and brush, trying to hide as much of his lanky, tall frame as much as possible. His hover belt had ceased working some months ago and now he had to teach himself how to move as soundlessly as possible on his feet. He looked over his shoulder, making sure he was truly alone and he hadn't been spotted. Now that he had eaten, he would retreat to his shelter.

"I proved my worth! I was accomplished, I was successful, I was feared! I was perfect..!"

As time wore on, he became more and more disgusted with himself. But he reasoned to himself it was necessary. This exile was the only thing keeping him alive. He was being hunted like an animal. Many beings wanted his head and most of them didn't care if he was brought in dead or alive. And just like a beast, he had to retreat to the far-flung and uncivilized corners of the universe to hide. The number of traitors that had risen up was alarming. Every single one of them wanted him dead.

One day, he would return. One day, it would be safe enough to reclaim his power, his right. One day, he would reunite with his co-Tallest and they would emerge stronger than ever from the exile. They would hunt down the rebels and mercilessly deactivate every single one of them. They would become the most ferocious, feared and respected Tallests that Irk ever knew. History would remember them forever and they would be an ideal model for the future Tallests.

At least, that's what he kept telling himself…

A few minutes later, Red came upon the cave he called his shelter. He got on his hands and knees, meandering through the tight and low entrance space. It was dark but he was able to maneuver his way through the dimness thanks to his antennae. Their sensitivity paid off as he followed the short path that led to his main retreat.

The room opened up and he stood up onto his feet. The Tallest looked around his hidey-hole, thankful he had a few solar-powered devices that lit up the rocky, chilly space. It gave him some comfort that he had some technology on hand. It somehow made things a little less lonely.

Despite his status, his shelter was anything but grand. It was meager and pathetic. There was a crude cot situated in a corner with some blankets and a dirty pillow. Leaning against the earthen wall were some guns and melee weapons he brought with him as he began his absence. On a pitifully crafted table, there was a pile of assorted machinery he had set aside. The devices were turned off as he feared the enemy would be able to detect their electromagnetic fields or readings and give away his position.

Red made a beeline for the bed, opting to rest on it and try to salvage some rest once again. He literally had nothing else to do.

"Why didn't you choose me? What did she have that I didn't?"

Hatefully, he glowered at the bare, cold, unfeeling wall.

"You're not gonna get away with this," he swore. "You better hope I never get my hands on you…"

The words of the treasonous Invader buzzed around in his head constantly, day after day, infuriating him. As much as he loathed it, her voice was still all too clear and he remembered it too well. Red hoped he would forget her sickening voice with time but it stuck with him. It felt like she was tormenting him even from afar. Her continued existence kept on insulting him.

He could hardly believe it had come to this. He couldn't grasp that she was once one of the finest warriors produced in his generation. She had conquered more planets for the Empire than anyone else in her graduating class and she was one of the most prolific Invaders known. Her name was held in admiration amongst the ranks and she was indeed respected and envied by some of her peers. When young cadets enrolled in the testing and training required to become fully fledged Invaders, they tried to mimic her. They sought to share in her success and make her future theirs.

He and Purple had known she was defective for a long time. But due to her record and abilities, they allowed her to continue serving the Empire. They still let her be an Invader. They thought they could let this defective do her job and not waste a soldier and pawn. She kept conquering enemy planets and she persistently yielded impressive results. The blue eyed, female Irken had proven her worth and they sought to use her for as long as possible.

Yet each time she returned from a mission, she only got worse and worse. Lyn became more erratic, unhinged…zealous.

"I've wasted enough on you. It's you who's the worthless one! You dare call yourself a Tallest? You're pathetic. You don't deserve the power that you have!"

Red's jaw clenched and his hands curled up slowly but surely. His anger built up more and more for as long as he reflected and recalled. Two years had passed but it felt like it happened yesterday. His pride was still wounded. His rage still burned hotter than any star he had seen. And yet here he was, hiding in a hole.

Lyn was unpunished and free. She lived and breathed, continuing her crusade against the Empire she once fought for. She traversed across the universe, rallying more rebellious defects like her to her cause and joining forces with Lard Nar and the Resisty. She was prepared and all too willing to unravel and destroy millennia of effort and conquest.

And all of it was in the name of spite and vengeance. All of it happened because she was rejected. She refused to accept reality.

Red growled lowly, his form tensing and bristling.

"I promise you, you will not win this. You will not survive and you will regret everything you've ever done, Red. I will make sure that you suffer and you drown in your own tears!"

Long ago, when he first met her, if he had known what she would become, he happily would've extinguished her. She showed no signs of deviation when she was a smeet but still, he would've ended her. He would've prevented her from growing and flourishing. Her contribution to the Empire was noteworthy but it wasn't worth the civil war and chaos.

And that particular butchering would've never happened…

He never forgot that Lyn wore those bracelets as a trophy. Red vowed he would confiscate them one day. They were terrible insults and beyond barbaric.

"It's too far gone now. I can't turn around and I've embraced my freedom. By killing that weak, pathetic, unworthy, ugly Control Brain archivist, I've become my own Irken. I know you won't forgive me for what I did to her. That's fine. Because I'll never forgive you for what you've done to me either."

He was finished.

Red sat up on his cot. Fury was etched into his features. A few minutes earlier, his body suffered from pangs and tremors due to hunger. Now, he was shaking due to seething rage.

"I will be the greatest Tallest that has ever lived," he promised himself. "No more hiding, no more nightmares, no more running. And most of all, no more traitors in my Empire!"

As of that moment, his exile was over. Almighty Tallest Red had returned.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9 Tale of the Tallest

(…)

"He's a human but I don't care! I love him and I want to be with him forever! But first, I need legs so he can love me!"

That was the first thing you heard as soon as you opened the front door to your house. You had to admit, you weren't expecting to hear that whenever you came in.

Bambi pushed his head through the crack in the door, greeting you even before you could even get it all the way open. His tail was wagging away and he licked at one of your hands. It looked like he was all too happy to greet you.

"Cod, my bestest friend in the whole wide sea, we have to go see the magical squid that will grant my wish! I hope she's in a good mood today!"

Once you opened up the door all the way and stepped in, you could see Purple sitting on your couch. On his lap was a gargantuan bowl of popcorn and it looked like there was chocolate sauce dribbled all over it. He didn't even acknowledge your presence and his large, purple eyes were glued to whatever was playing on the TV. While he watched, he shoveled in a handful of popcorn into his mouth, not bothering to look away from the screen while he did it.

"What's gotten you so entranced?" you asked, genuinely curious.

"The Mini Fishwife," he retorted.

"The old kid's movie?"

You came closer and took a seat next to him on the couch. On the screen there was a blonde, freakish looking mermaid and she was talking animatedly to an equally bizarre looking fish that was her trusted companion. They were busy swimming along, going to visit the sorcereress-squid that lived at the bottom of the sea.

"Is there something else on TV?" you asked.

"No," he answered. "Besides, I like it. You can't change it!"

"…you like this?"

"Yes!"

"Are you joking?"

"No! Now, stop questioning my taste, she-beast!" He sighed. "This tale is simple but entertaining. The hideous fish creature is in love with the fat Earth prince and she wants to get legs so she can walk with him on land."

"Yeah, I know what it is and what it's about. I grew up watching this movie. It's a child's film." You gestured to the generous portion of popcorn he still held in his bowl. "Can I swipe a handful from you?"

"Do you like your fingers?"

"…wow. Okay, asshole."

"Irken don't like to share their food. Don't take it personally."

"If we're going to play games like this, then you don't need to worry about what happened when I met that kid."

He finally extended the decency of looking at you while he chatted. He blinked, at last appearing interested in what you had to say.

"Oh, that's right, the kid with the freakishly large head," he said, his antennae twitching.

"Hey, don't worry about it," you said in a completely passive-aggressive and nonchalant way. "You sit on your skinny butt, eat all my food and befoul my couch with your presence and alien funk. You don't have to worry a thing about what's going on. Let the Earth woman do all the work while you act like a spoiled princess."

"I'm not a princess!" He exclaimed rather loudly, his voice slightly cracking. "I'm far more important than any silly maiden!"

"Oh, that's right, my apologies. You're a queen. A drama queen."

He growled and ground his jaws. He folded his arms across his chest and shot you a slighted, disapproving glare.

"I wouldn't offend me if I were you!" he warned.

"Lighten up, it's called a joke."

"Well I'm not laughing! It's not funny!"

"Look, I talked to that kid. I told him there's nothing here and I hope I discouraged him from poking around any further."

"Chances are, you failed."

"How so?"

"Zim talked about that strange Human all the time. He's always trying to sabotage and expose Zim for who he really is. Sometimes it's pretty funny but other times it bores me to death!"

"So you're telling me that this kid is probably gonna be stalking me or trying to sneak up to the site."

"Yeah, probably."

"Fantastic. What should we do?"

"First off, I wanna watch this movie."

"You've gotta be shitting me."

"No. I like this movie and I want to finish it!"

"Your… No, our safety is at stake! Do you remember the conversation we had about important things like this?"

"Okay, I was wrong about that one thing…"

"Which is…?"

"You'd like Red. Because you like to boss me around just like him."

You were becoming flabbergasted and overwhelmed in no time at all. He made you want to pull the hair out of your skull.

"It's just a dumb movie!" you said, your exasperation becoming all too obvious. "That can wait!"

"You need to learn how to chill out," Purple said as he waved a hand dismissively. "Nothing's gonna happen. Zim is a failure and so is that mutant boy."

"But you just admitted that Dib would probably be creeping around!"

The Irken leader only shrugged.

"Don't worry, I'll be sure to vaporize him or something if he gets too close," he said. "I have it under control."

"That sounds so half-assed and unconvincing, it's not even funny," you sighed.

"I got this, Earthling. You've done enough, let me take over. I want to try my hand at navigating things."

"Please tell me you're joking."

"Nope!" He chuckled. "You may think I'm totally pathetic and useless but that's not true at all!"

You blinked, feeling somewhat at a loss for words.

"Let me prove myself to you, Human," he continued. "You have never met an Irken before besides me… Let me show you what we're made of." Purple tossed more popcorn into his maw. He continued to speak to you while his mouth was full. "I may have been made Tallest. But that's not just because I'm the Tallest of my race. I have a few other qualifications that make me who I am."

"Okay…" you said. "Is that gonna entail you killing people?"

"Well, that's only if they get too close and if they discover my true identity!"

"You can't do that!"

"Hey, we gotta keep things under wraps, right?"

"Killing folks is wrong. Besides, if I get convicted of murder, that's not necessarily a good thing!"

"But it's fine if you don't get caught."

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you. This is ridiculous."

"Like I said, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it."

"That's what has me so concerned."

Purple rolled his eyes and crossed his legs. His right foot bobbed subtly and he shoveled another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

"Poor little she-beast," he crooned.

"Little?" you laughed harshly. "I'm not that little!"

"But I'm taller than you! Besides, I've trusted you enough, haven't I? You've proven your worth to me, Human."

"…thanks?"

"Don't mention it."

While he was seemingly simple and outright stupid at times, he was also an enigma of sorts. He still had some surprises in store, that much you could tell. Granted, you didn't even know him for a even a month and sometimes it took someone a decade to try to understand someone. There was no telling how long it would take you to try to decode him. One thing was for certain, even if he suddenly left and you never saw him again, you'd always remember him. There was no way you'd ever forget the likes of Almighty Tallest Purple.

"Now, shut up and watch this with me," he said.

You were in no mood to argue you with him. In your eyes, it was pointless and way too tedious. You'd avoid it if you could and only resort to such a thing unless if there was no choice or what he was doing was absolutely unacceptable. Right now, your desire to bicker was gone. You only wanted to enjoy your weekend off and decompress as much as you could.

"So why do you like this so much?" you wondered, genuinely curious.

"There's a lot of singing," he said.

"Makes sense since you like karaoke so much."

"I don't know… I just like it!" He shrugged.

"When I was a kid, I used to sing along with the songs. They're catchy and addictive so of course I drove my dad and grandpa insane by singing them nonstop."

"I want to hear it!"

"Oh, no!"

"Come on! You heard me sing last night! You may not be as good as me but I still want to hear what you can do!"

"I'm sorry, I'm not doing that!" You scoffed. "I'm not making a fool of myself! It's out of the question."

"Human, your Tallest commands you!"

"My Tallest?" You laughed and gave him a playful smirk. "That's not how Earth's leadership guidelines function, buddy. We don't choose our leaders based on how tall they are."

"That's really weird. How do you choose them?"

"We choose them based on how qualified they are. But sometimes we Earthlings are very bad at even something important like that. We elect ours."

"You choose your own leaders? Sounds like a lot can go wrong with that."

"We're certainly not perfect but we do what we can."

"As I'm sure you already know, Irken society is far different. The Tallest are chosen from, well, the tallest of all Irken! Regardless of who they are, they are anointed Tallest. We have had many Tallest over the years, some males and some females."

"Who was the Tallest before you and your friend?"

"Spork but he hardly counted because he never really began his reign… He's like half a Tallest. The one who reigned before him was Almighty Tallest Miyuki. She was once one of the most brilliant scientists of her generation before she was chosen. I was hatched during and grew up under her rule."

Very easily, you could hear and sense the respect and admiration he had for her. You had no idea who this Miyuki lady was but you could tell Purple held her in high regard. Clearly, she was a role model of his. It was probable you'd have to tread quickly and not end up slandering or belittling her somehow. You didn't want to end up offending him and wondering if you were even allowed to fall asleep later that night.

But you were still intensely curious. You wanted your answers about his culture and race. They sounded like barbarians but you were hooked.

You blamed your inner scientist on this interest. You were so used to observing and studying the flora and fauna around you. Now you were presented with an entirely new and foreign subject. This was an opportunity you wouldn't ever neglect.

"How about the Tallests before Miyuki?" you asked, genuinely interested.

"The one right before Miyuki was Tallest Gavi. And the one before Gavi was Hrawl. Tallest Hrawl was one of the most ambitious Tallests ever and he added many planets to the Empire. He was also the very last Tallest to lead his troops into combat. He was a soldier and he couldn't resist going into the fight. His reign ended when he was killed in action. Hrawl killed many enemies before he finally fell and he was regarded as one of the bravest, most ferocious and successful Tallests in recent memory."

"And Gavi?"

Purple paused and placed a fingertip on his chin. He tapped it and looked thoughtful for a minute.

"Tallest Gavi started out as one of Hrawl's underlings," he resumed. "She was one of his personal bodyguards and she was a soldier just like him. He actually had been training her to take over for him when his time was up because he knew she would be the future Tallest. When she was anointed, Gavi followed in Hrawl's footsteps. She conquered planet after planet, expanding the Empire's boundaries. Along the way, she made a lot of enemies and she was almost assassinated multiple times. She survived each attempt and she sought vengeance every time. Gavi ruled for a few centuries and she actually became one of the longest reigning Tallests that ever lived. At the end of her reign…" Purple shrugged. "She went insane."

"How so?" you pressed. "Elaborate."

"She grew old and senile and crazy. She also became too soft and kind. In her last years, she was always visiting the smeeteries and overlooking the creation and growth of all the young Irken being produced. Gavi no longer cared about expanding the Empire. Instead, she wanted to make peace with many planets and forged a lot of alliances with other races like the Planet Jackers. She became interested in science and she became convinced we as a species were going to go extinct in the near future."

Huh.

"And what happened to her?" you asked.

"She died in her sleep," he answered. "She was an ancient hag, it wasn't a surprise to anyone."

"What made her so crazy and weird?"

"She wanted to do some really weird reverse evolution on our species. She wanted to work toward getting rid of PAKs. She claimed that they were going to cause major problems to us eventually. She said they weren't meant to be reused constantly and she said machines were capable of glitching and malfunctioning. Gavi also wanted to get rid of the smeeteries and stop artificial gestations. She was so convinced the Empire's enemies would sabotage the smeeteries and then drive us into extinction." He guffawed. "She was insane and paranoid! Good thing she's dead and gone. Some Irken like to pretend Tallest Gavi never existed. But when Tallest Miyuki took over, things got normal." He smiled. "Miyuki sought to make us better than ever before! She didn't conquer many planets but she made things run smoothly! Every Irken admired her and wanted to be like her. She was a little too calm for my liking but she wasn't afraid to blow things up when she had to! She was so beautiful, smart…"

You could hardly pay attention to his flattering and worshipping. Instead, all you could focus on was the strange tale of Gavi. This former Tallest was afraid of what they had done. In your eyes, it seemed like she showed regret and tried to right the wrongs of her tenure. She seemed insightful and eager to prepare for the future.

Purple may have dismissed her as a quack but you thought there was more to her than that. You'd do your best to remember her name and ask about her again further down the road. You couldn't explain it but Almighty Tallest Gavi had definitely caught your interest.

(…)

Dib wasn't deterred.

It was somewhat comforting that an adult didn't belittle him for his interest in the paranormal. It made him feel a little better that someone understood him and wasn't going to label him as a crazy nerd. He was so used to being jeered at and chastised so it was refreshing to not be teased and judged.

But what made him frustrated was that no one seemed to take this seriously. No one would help him search for the truth. He knew that the "drone" was actually an alien ship. There was no way that it could've came from any country on Earth. What he feared the most was that this thing was Irken in origin. It was automatically bad if that was the case.

As he wandered around the visitor's center parking lot, he already made up his mind. For now, he'd bide his time and wait. He'd have to wait under the cover of darkness. One way or another, he was going up to that crash site and investigate whatever he could find. He certainly didn't trust his own government to handle such unearthly technology. It didn't help that he was actually smarter than a lot of the officials in that body either.

But what also made him worry was the absence of the pilot. The boy had a sneaking suspicion that they escaped and ran off into the woods. While he was hiking up to the site, he'd be on the lookout for any marooned aliens. Either that or be vigilant for any strange, green-skinned "Humans".

In his backpack, he had two cans of bear mace, a camera, flashlight, energy bars, a canteen of water, a notebook and some spare clothes. Dib was more than prepared and he was determined to get some answers out of this location. He knew a coverup when he saw one and the sharp youth could smell suspicion and shadiness all over it.

Luckily, it was October and he wouldn't have to wait too much longer until night fell…

(Resisty occupied space)

Groggily, the Irken could feel herself coming around. Her brain felt like it was pounding against the walls of her cranium. It felt as if it was going to bust out of its bony prison at any moment.

Her vision gradually began to come back to her. It was somewhat cloudy and obscured. She blinked a few times, trying to clear her eyes and wake up more and more. It hurt to even blink and she was almost half tempted to slip back into her motionless and dreamless sleep. At least she wasn't in pain in that state.

Foggy memories of what had happened before she lost consciousness steadily came back to her. She thought she remembered struggling or fighting someone. It all happened way too quickly. The Invader couldn't quite remember how it all unfolded exactly and it irritated her for as long as she remained ignorant.

"Resisty filth, you'll never take me alive! Taste my wrath!"

She thought she had the upper hand and could beat back the enemies who had ambushed her. But someone else came up behind her and roughly battered her, knocking her unconscious. All she recalled was that it was a swift, blunt blow and she lost consciousness. Everything went dark and she was completely helpless and at the mercy of the enemy.

The Invader painfully lifted her head up, trying to figure out where she was. The room she was in was small and there was only one way in and one way out. Everything around her was drab, cold and nearly featureless. To her, it looked like she was in some sort of cell or examination room.

"They got me..!" she hissed quietly. "Curse them!"

She tried to move but she quickly noticed she had been bound and restrained. Bindings had been placed around her ankles and wrists, forbidding her of much use or movement. It appeared that her captors took no chance and secured her even while she was knocked out. Clearly, they opted to not underestimate her. She didn't know whether to be angered or flattered.

A surprised inhale came from her when she saw the door open up. Her short, diminutive frame tensed and despite the fact she was bound, she was ready to fight back no matter what. The Irken female was poised to attack whoever would come through that door. She had her pride to defend and she wouldn't let some lowly member of the Resisty gain the upper hand on her a second time.

A few seconds later, the individual walked into the room. Once her eyes saw their face, she instantly recognized them. Her blood boiled and her tiny frame quivered angrily. Her defensiveness and anticipation evolved into searing rage in an instant. There was no way that she could ever forget the figure and face of the tall, feminine turncoat.

"Dez, can you hear me?" she spoke.

"Don't you dare say a word to me!" the captured Invader snarled.

"Dez, come on, it's me. It's Lyn."

"Yes, I know it's you! I can never forget who you are and what you've become!"

Lyn crossed the threshold of the doorway and entered the room. The door closed behind her, sealing the two female Irken together.

Dez's emerald colored eyes were narrowed in spite and fury. She didn't dare to blink, not trusting Lyn in the slightest bit. Her whole body was taut and tense, ready to fight the taller Irken at a moment's notice.

"It has been a few years since I've last seen you," Lyn said, shattering the strained, uncomfortable silence.

"Don't speak to me as if we're friends," Dez bitterly remarked. "That's long gone, you rotten traitor!"

"We've known each other for a long time. We graduated together, we've known each other since we were smeets."

"I thought I knew you. We all thought we did."

"So did I."

"I'm not telling you a thing so you can get over it and just kill me already, Lyn."

"I have no reason to kill you if I haven't tried to reach out to you first."

"The words and ramblings of a defective mean absolutely nothing to me."

"'Defective' is such an ambiguous and misleading term."

"No, it's not. It's clear as crystal and it's bad. Very bad. You're the textbook example of the definition."

"You have more use to me alive than dead so keep that in mind, Dez. Besides, if I can make others see the light then I'll do what I can to reason with them and win them over."

"What light? You're out of your mind! You betrayed us all! You betrayed the Tallest! They're our leaders, Lyn! We're supposed to serve them and bring glory to the Irken Empire! We all must obey and serve!"

Lyn's eyes narrowed and her stare turned icy for the briefest second. She glowered at Dez, her remaining antenna twitching in ire. But the taller of the two Irken cleared her throat and kept her head high. She had to try to maintain her poise and grace, no matter how difficult it could be. She forbade herself to get too angry too quickly.

"No," Lyn said plainly. "But I know it's very difficult for you to understand, Dez. You're not a defective so it's harder for you to grasp."

"Don't speak to me like I'm a newly hatched smeet, Lyn!" Dez snapped at her. She bore her teeth at her former comrade and glared hatefully at Lyn. "I'm not stupid! I'm right and you're wrong!"

"Being a defective doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing. It's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm no longer at the mercy of the Control Brains and I can make my own choices! You may not believe it but I am free! The Empire is restricting and dumbing down every single Irken. It needs to be destroyed and we need to start all over again."

"When you are finally killed, your PAK's data will never be allowed into the collective. It will be destroyed as soon as you die. That way, we can make sure you are erased."

Those words sliced into her. Lyn was fully aware of the consequences she would have to face with her switching sides. Despite her acknowledgment, there were some things that still lingered in the back of her fractured mind. She couldn't bear the thought of being erased from all memory and fade into the obscurity of forever. It scared her.

"I'm afraid you're wrong, Dez," she retorted.

"Think again," the shorter Irken smirked. "So this is why I was ambushed and knocked out? This is why you brought me here?"

"I'm trying to reason with as many Irken as I can. Dez, you're a fine Invader and warrior and I would love to add you to our ranks. Besides, I am more than familiar with you and I would like to give you a chance. I respect you."

"And be under your command? And have to look into your eyes and be reminded of how you slandered and turned on our Almighty Tallest? You're crazy!"

"I'm not… I'm not crazy." Lyn folded her hands together. She swallowed hard, trying her hardest to remain as calm as possible. While her damaged PAK had liberated her, it wasn't without its consequences. "Dez, think back on what we learned when we were in the academy… Do you remember what we learned about the Tallest before Tallest Miyuki? Do you remember Tallest Gavi?"

"What about Tallest Gavi?" Dez ground her teeth and rolled her eyes. "When she was young and took power, she was merciless, grand and proud! But old age made her crazy and soft! She became a disgrace!"

"Tallest Gavi made a lot of enemies during her reign and she was almost murdered several times. When she was dying and her rule was coming to a close, she sought to correct several things. She knew that the Empire had accumulated many enemies from other races and she knew rebellion was going to erupt some day…"

"None of the matters! She is dead and gone and she doesn't matter anymore! Shut up! Our two glorious Tallest will expand the size of the Empire even more! Once you and your rebel friends are vaporized, we will focus on making the Empire even larger and stronger than it was before!"

"No. The Empire can't exist anymore. It needs to be destroyed. All of it is wrong, Dez."

"How can you say such things?! You were one of the best Invaders of our generation! You conquered Sod-La, Fungus Five and Yutus!"

"I regret doing what I've done. The Yuti forgave me for enslaving them and killing their previous War-queen. They joined forces with the Resisty and we're working towards fixing things at last."

"You're disgusting! You should've eliminated those filthy bird brains when you had the chance!"

"I wasn't going to throw away the chance to use them as mercenaries, warriors and bodyguards for the Tallest to use…" Her head hung low for a moment. "That was my final gift to them."

"You mean to Tallest Red. It was your last ditch effort to woo him."

Momentarily, Lyn's eyes widened at the mention of his name. Then a toothy sneer formed on her face and her antenna lay flat against the back of her head. A growl came from deep within her and her stare intensified.

"I will never bow to those clowns ever again!" Her tone was steely and wrathful. "I wasted enough of my life trying to please and serve them! I received nothing for my hard work! Everything I had done was never good enough! They shamed me and my effort! They never appreciated all that I had done!"

"Lyn…" Dez laughed softly. "There's more to it than that."

"Don't go there."

"The Almighty Tallest broke your figurative heart."

Lyn's left eye twitched. Her lips curled back and her body bristled with rage and shame. Her fingers arched and they painfully clenched into fists. The tips of her claws dug into her palms.

Dez could only smile at her reaction. She delighted in watching her squirm and sending her mind into a state of chaos. The Invader wanted to make her as angry as possible. She had her right where she wanted her. Lyn might've been the leader of the Irken resistance but she was far from perfect. She was susceptible and unstable thanks to her damaged PAK. Dez knew exactly what buttons to press.

"Archvist Pax was a wonderful lady," Dez continued. "She was tall, beautiful, graceful, loyal and intelligent. She was on her way to becoming one of the top Control Brain technicians and archivists. One of the Tallest took an interest in her and they became close… The Control Brains never forbid their relationship but it was still unusual. He chose her and she was more than happy to be his. I would even say that they were courting."

"Pax was unworthy!" Lyn almost screeched. She slammed one of her fists against the cell wall. "She did nothing to contribute to the Empire! She was a useless, pretty face! She was a nobody! She was tall, nothing more and nothing less!"

"But it drove you insane that he chose her instead of you. He wanted nothing to do with you. And it didn't help that she was a few inches taller than you."

"Shut up!"

"Yeah, you might've killed her, took her antennae as trophies and had them encased in golden bracelets… But look what you've done. The Empire will defeat the Resisty, Lyn. You will be wiped out with the rest of those filthy rebels and you will be erased. You certainly won't be forgiven for what you've done."

"And yet your Tallests have gone into hiding! They're cowards! They would rather hide than stand and fight! They ran off because they know I will kill them in the end of it all!"

"They've had their reasons and you know it. Besides, we must protect our leaders from freaks like you. It's not cowardice, it's strategy."

"Then where are they? Why is Rarl Kove leading the Empire when they should be?"

"The Tallest will return. And when they do, you will be begging them for mercy you won't ever get. They'll execute you in a way far worse than what you've done to Archivist Pax. Tallest Red will avenge her."

The mechanical limbs contained within Lyn's PAK sprung free. All four of the appendages thrust forward and gored Dez in her abdomen. Lyn leapt towards the metal slab Dez was confined to and rested her forehead against hers. A cruel smirk was on her face and her eye still twitched intermittently. She drove the spidery legs into Dez deeper, emerging all the way through the back of the slab.

"I can see you're a lost cause," Lyn remarked. "There's no use wasting my time with those so blindly loyal to the Tallest. But I did try, didn't I?"

Dez's shape shuddered and was swiftly bleeding out. The smaller Irken fearlessly looked back into her former friend's eyes, intending to stare back at her until the bitter end. She was perfectly content with dying. Death wasn't something that frightened her. She had plenty of brushes with it during her career. More than anything else, it was just part of her job description.

"When I was a smeet, I loved silver a lot," Dez laughed weakly. "But now that I'm older, red is my new favorite. Purple is my second."

A feral snarl came from Lyn and she drove her artificial limbs into Dez even further than before. She wasn't going tolerate being insulted like this.

"Hurry up and die!" Lyn demanded.

"Way ahead of you," Dez retorted.

Lyn's antenna pricked upwards when she heard a barely audible, soft beeping noise. She stopped and looked about, trying to find the source of the unidentifiable noise. It grated against her already irritated nerves and she growled quietly while she searched.

"Where is that coming from?!" she fumed. "It's driving me crazy!"

"I know Tallest Red wanted the pleasure of killing you himself," Dez said, "but this'll be the one time I disobey his orders. I've been preparing for this for awhile, Lyn."

The rebel leader was about to snap back at her but she froze. She hesitated and dread swamped her. The weak but knowing smile on Dez's face revealed everything to her.

"This is the last favor I'll do for you, Lyn," Dez resumed. "You're lucky I'm nicer than the Tallest."

Lyn hastily tried to retract her limbs out of Dez's abdominal cavity. Since they drilled through her body and the slab, they stuck fast. Fear encapsulated the taller lifeform and she pulled and pulled at her appendages, trying to free herself. She had stabbed her so deeply she condemned herself and couldn't escape Dez's trap.

"No!" Lyn fumed. "No, I refuse to die like this!"

With all her might, she pulled and pried. Dez's PAK was a literal ticking time bomb and she had rigged it to self destruct. She fully intended to kill herself and bring Lyn with her.

"Long live the Tallest," Dez uttered.

She felt her strength leave her at last. Her head tilted to the side and her emerald eyes shut.

A few seconds later, Lyn managed to get one of her limbs free. She used the blade on the tip to slice through the other appendages that were still jammed. Finally, she freed herself and she immediately left Dez's side. The beeping still persisted and she only needed to dash another few feet to safety.

There was a flash of light and a curtain of heat then swallowed her up. She screamed and then her world turned dark.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10 From Bad to Worse

(9:00pm)

"I've done crazier things than this. This should be a piece of cake. I've dealt with Zim for crying out loud!"

Dib muttered these things to himself as he cautiously trudged through the undergrowth and foliage. The night was chilly but he'd be alright. Some nice hot chocolate after this venture would warm his core. Right now, all that mattered was investigating and getting to the bottom of this mystery.

He had already dodged a few patrol cars. Some agents were making their rounds up and down the maintenance roads, making sure nothing was out of place. They still had their duties to fulfill and the boy didn't want to make their shift interesting by allowing himself to get caught by them. Dib followed along these roads but kept hidden behind tree trunks or ducked beneath bushes to make himself as unseen as possible. He was pretty sure he could probably outwit or outmaneuver some of these agents but he wasn't keen on getting apprehended either.

He had done investigative hunts and gone on various jaunts into dark woods before but he still couldn't shrug off the air of creepiness. In the distance, he could hear leaves rustling and crunching, hinting to the animals that were lingering just out of sight. It was possible the Red Leaf Bigfoot was watching him at that very moment and as much as he was tempted to try a wood knocking or two on a tree trunk, he knew he had to remain focused. He was here for an alien ship, not a giant ape. There was always the future and he could plan another expedition then.

The terrain became steeper as he drew closer to the crash site. The incline increased and he found himself breathing a little harder. Dib pressed onwards, relentless and more than eager to get to the bottom of this matter.

"I gotta stop them," he whispered to himself. "I can't let another Zim cause trouble and try to destroy the Earth. One is bad enough!"

Through the trees, he could see bright flood flights shining ahead. He was getting closer to the restricted zone. He hurried along a little faster, even more excited to see whatever was in store.

Dib was already prepared. He knew he wouldn't see the actual ship. From what he had read from the leaked report, most of the craft had been transported to some facility on the other side of the country. But that didn't mean there might've been some smaller but equally intriguing pieces remaining behind. Everything couldn't have been shipped off already. If that was the case, then the authorities wouldn't still be present. The junior investigator had a hunch he was going to find something.

As he walked closer to the flood lights, they got that much more luminous. Dib kept low, knowing that as he crept closer, he'd be spotted all the easier. While there were some agents driving around in their SUVs on the roads, there were others at the site, keeping an eye on things and overseeing any scientific personnel that were assigned to catalog pertinent data and information. He could see men dressed up in black suits and they were patrolling around a few tents and some simple, ramshackle sheds.

Finally, he slowed down when he lingered just behind the tree line. The cover of the trees still kept him disguised and unseen. The floodlights lit up the area and he could make out the thousand foot skid mark of overturned earth and the small mound where the vessel eventually rested when it made landfall. Dib raised his camera and took a few photos from the shadows, making sure that his flash was off. People in black suits and white lab coats wandered about, going in and out of the structures that dotted the landscape. There definitely was an operation going on around. He caught himself wondering if the park staff even knew what was really going on.

"I can't wait to get out of here."

Dib gasped and quickly ducked into a bush. He peered out through the branches, trying to figure out who it was. He steadied his breathing, hoping he wouldn't be discovered.

"Yeah, I hear ya," another voice said.

Dib looked to his left, seeing two agents passing by. Both were men dressed in black garments and had sunglasses on. They also had pistols holstered on the left side of their hips. So far, it seemed like they were invested in each other and not their surroundings. The boy kept as quiet as a mouse and listened closely.

"I always believed in them," the first agent, a shorter, redheaded individual spoke. "Along with Chickenfoot and Nessie, I always knew aliens existed."

"Yeah, kinda can't deny that," the other man, a tall, black haired specimen admitted. "I mean we already have some weird stuff in Area 51 and this is another addition to the collection of things."

"I guess we're gonna try to reverse engineer it?"

"That's where we got our cellphone technology! The Roswell crash helped that out. But this one…" The man chuckled. "Maybe we can finally develop space buses or something. That'd be cool!"

"I just can't wait to get out of here! All the locals are inbred hillbillies and the rangers are suspicious as heck."

"Pft, what're they gonna do? We outrank those rangers. They can't touch us! They're obligated to shut their mouths shut. They don’t have a choice. Otherwise, they'd be in a lot of trouble!"

"We never found anything on their seized trail cameras?"

"No. I thought for sure we'd catch a photo of the pilot but they found nothing. I had a feeling it was probably going to be a waste of time."

"How do we know there actually was an occupant? I mean we didn’t find any blood or anything."

"Don't you pay attention to anything? The cockpit was forcefully busted outwards from the inside. They broke free. They must've had something super strong and sharp to make that hole."

"Yikes… No thanks, I don't want to meet something like that. I'd rather fight a rabid jackalope."

"Yeah, but they're so cute, aren't they?"

"No, not as cute as vampire bees!"

Dib couldn't hear any more of their conversation as they walked along to fulfill their patrolling duties. Soon enough, they were out of earshot and the boy bolted out of the woods when he saw the coast was clear. He took shelter behind a stack of crates and waited to make his next move. Stealth was imperative.

His first impressions were proven correct after all. The ranger he spoke to earlier on in the day was most likely lying. She was being forced to keep quiet and there was nothing she could do about it. Dib wasn't so shocked by this revelation. Many conspiracy theories involved things of this nature and he was more than aware he was in the middle of one at this very moment.

So far, he knew there was a ship that crashed. Not only that, there was a pilot that had gotten out and was walking free. Anxiety swum in his guts and he really hoped this wasn't some insidious, bloodthirsty Irken that landed.

Feeling curious, Dib decided to try something. As quietly as possible, he pried open one of the crates he was hiding behind. He lifted the lid silently, looked over his shoulder, making sure he was still alone and unseen.

When he peered in on the contents, his eyes widened. There were various pieces of shattered, half melted, damaged metal and technology. There were even individual screws, nuts, bolts and other small objects that were stowed away within the confines of the crate. At first glances, they seemed unimpressive and ordinary but these were definitely not of earthly origin.

Dib took pictures of the artifacts, fully intending to share them with his fellow Swollen Eyeball members. He hit the motherload and he was more than ready to use these pictures as evidence of an active alien presence on the planet. They shunned and mocked him for his efforts to unveil Zim but Dib was determined to prove it to them.

As he sifted through the miscellaneous objects, he saw something sizeable that was packaged beneath everything else. Gingerly, Dib brushed those smaller pieces aside, wondering what was at the bottom.

When he got a clear view of what it was, it felt like he got socked in the stomach. His eyes widened and a wave of dread and disbelief encapsulated him. He shook his head, refusing to accept that this was actually happening.

"Oh, no," he rasped. "Oh, no! No, no, no!"

The artifact that was exposed to the outside word was a seemingly ordinary piece of metal. It looked like it was part of a panel and it was twisted and obviously damaged due to the rough landing. Emblazoned in black on the panel was some sort of insignia or symbol. It was something Dib recognized all too well.

Another Irken had arrived. The distinct mark of the Irken Empire told him everything. And this newcomer was running free on Earth and nobody knew who they were or why they were here.

Truly and honestly, he hoped this wasn’t the case. But sadly, that’s what it was. He hoped he was only being paranoid and automatically assuming the worst case scenario. Now that it was actually the truth, he didn’t know what to think.

"Intruder alert!"

Dib's heart nearly stopped beating when he heard the deep and angry voice ring out. He looked over his shoulder, seeing a few men bolting towards him.

As quick as lightning, Dib threw his camera into his backpack and put the lid back on the crate. Wasting no time, he ran towards the tree line where he could melt away into the dark woods and make his escape. He wasn't going to let them hinder his mission to unveil the truth.

"Come back here!" one of them called out. "Surrender and maybe we won't punish you so badly!"

He wasn't going to risk that at all. The young investigator had his evidence and that was it. If they got a hold of him, they were going to confiscate his camera and probably destroy it. There was no way he was going to let that happen.

Dib sprinted past the tree line and disappeared into the darkness and foliage around him. He had the night and nature itself on his side. If he could keep running but also keep low, he'd lose them…

(…)

"I'm so fancy, you already know! I'm in the fast lane from L.A to Tokyo. I'm so fancy, can't you taste this gold? Remember my name, 'bout to blow!"

"I could listen to this song all day!"

You were pretty sure you would pour quick dry cement into your ears if he actually tried to do that. Either that or you'd shoot your own boombox. There was no way you could survive that.

"…we've been listening to this song on repeat for two hours," you said, trying to keep your cool. "Can we please try something else? I'm so regretting letting you explore my playlist."

"But I like this!"

"Yes, I know! You like it too much. I have over seven hundred songs on this list and you insist on listening to this one on repeat."

"Alright, alright…" Purple sipped his soda and lightly tossed the remote to you. "Pick something, just make sure I like it."

"I don't care what's next, I just need to listen to something else!"

You held fast to the controller and pointed it at the radio. You pressed the "next" button, honestly not caring whatever was coming up.

"He came from somewhere back in her long ago. The sentimental fool don't see, tryin' hard to recreate what yet to be created once in her life. She musters a smile for his nostalgic tale, never coming near what he wanted to say. Only to realize it never really was…"

You smiled and let out a sigh of relief. This was so much better than what you were listening to earlier. The change was refreshing and you felt yourself unwind and relax a little more.

"Boring, pick another!" Purple complained.

Before you could fully register what he had in mind, he yanked the controller out of your hand.

"What the shit?!" you vented, trying to snatch it back from him. "I said it was my turn!"

"We can only listen to a song if I like it!" he reminded you.

"That wasn't even thirty seconds of my choice! You have to give it a chance!"

"I didn't like how it sounded."

You had no opportunity to argue further and he skipped over the song. You grimaced at his interference and glowered at him.

"I have a heart, I swear I do but just not baby when it comes to you. I get so hungry when you say you love me, if you know what's good for you. I think you're hot, I think you're cool…"

"Now this sounds good!" The Tallest remarked. "Better!"

"I'm not listening to this on repeat either," you sourly warned him.

"Are you still mad at me because I ate all of the chocolate peanut butter cookies?"

"I'm mad at you for a variety of reasons but yeah that's on the list too."

"Irken don't like to share their food, I told you that already."

"I can just imagine you and Red were like angry Chihuahuas when it came down to fighting over the last donut…"

"We have our own stashes so we don't usually steal from each other. Usually. And besides, I only shared with him once before."

"And what led up to that milestone?"

"I had to give Red some of my rations when he was seriously injured. We were cutoff from our squad and we had to survive on our own behind enemy lines for almost a week."

Oh. Maybe he wasn't totally selfish.

"Although Red was training to be an ace pilot, he still had to go through basic military objectives and missions. It was to season all members of the Irken Elite and familiarize them with combat of all types should something ever happen. Luckily, I was a great shot and I let no one get close to us. He was totally useless and all he could do was let his PAK heal his wounds and keep him sedated. So, I had to share my rations with him to keep his strength up. Plus, I wasn't going to let him die on my watch."

Despite your previous irritation and anger, you could feel it melt away. You smiled at his explanation. Though he asserted his species didn't really have a concept of friendship, he did admit he saw Red as a friend. It was entirely possible his fellow Tallest was the only person he cared about in the universe. While it might've been taboo, he did care about him and he protected him when he was at his weakest.

"That's pretty noble of you," you said. "He's awfully lucky to have someone like you watch his back."

You caught sight of a brief smile that shone on his face. It was so abrupt but telling. The genuine, happy smile was then replaced by a boastful, smug smirk.

"Well, of course!" he said, puffing his chest out. "Red was supposed to be a pilot with his face in control panels and flying stuff! I was an actual, elite soldier! He was out of his zone! I was trained to hit enemies from miles away! No one could hide from me!"

Great, his ego was showing. Again.

Suddenly, there was this incessant and all too loud knocking on your door. Bambi howled loudly and bounded toward the door, eager to address and defend if it came down to it. Purple let out a rather shrill scream and tumbled backwards off the couch. Meanwhile, you sat on the couch, temporarily petrified and startled by all these noises going off at once.

"Hello?!" the knocking continued. "Please, someone answer the door! Let me in!"

For the first few seconds, you panicked, trying to get a grip on yourself. A million different scenarios ran through your head. God only knew what was unfolding. The voice at the door definitely sounded urgent and you had a feeling this wasn't someone trying to play a joke on you.

You looked over your shoulder, seeing Purple was out of the picture. Honestly, you hoped he had enough common sense to get out of the room hide somewhere.

"Bambi, get back!" you ordered, running to your door.

You grasped onto the back of his collar and firmly pulled him back. With your available hand, you unlocked your door and opened it up.

It felt like the wind got knocked out of you when you saw the face of your unexpected guest. It was that kid from the visitor's center you saw earlier. You audibly gasped when your eyes locked with his and he practically leapt into your home and shut the door behind him.

"Kid, what're you doing here?!" you almost screamed, totally spooked and flabbergasted.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I gotta hide in your house!" he rambled a little too quickly for you to process for a few seconds.

Bambi kept barking away but his tail was wagging and it looked like he wanted to greet Dib more than anything else. This was a stark contrast to how he first encountered Purple. For that, you were pretty relieved.

"No, no, no, no!" you said, raising your voice and throwing an authoritative inflection into your tone. "First, you explain some things to me, young man! Didn't I tell you to move along? What are you doing out at this hour?"

"I'll explain it if you agree to keep me hidden!" Dib countered.

"Oh, God…" Terror and dread washed over you. "Oh my God, you went to the crash site, you little shit! I specifically warned you not to, kid!"

"They're after me!"

Shit. SHIT.

"Okay, listen to me," you instructed him. You felt like you were going to explode and have a full blown panic attack. Although he deliberately went against your advice, you weren't going to throw him to the wolves. You weren't that heartless. "I think I can shove you into my pantry real quick, I don't think agents will bother to check…"

"Hey, what's the big fuss about?"

Both you and Dib turned to face the direction where Purple's voice came from. You were screaming in joy internally upon seeing he was wearing his disguise. But it also made you feel wary with what was unfolding.

"It's fine, I have it under control!" you asserted. "Just stay there and keep on trucking through that hangover!"

"I never got one," he corrected you. "I had to sleep it off."

Purple strode over. His posture was straight and confident. He dusted some imaginary dust off his "clothes" and smirked at the both of you.

"Take the kid and get him hidden," he said, "I got this, that is, if these idiots even show up."

"No, they are coming!" Dib said. "They saw me and they're tracking me down!"

"I am not letting you deal with these people!" you yelled at Purple. "What is your problem?! Are you stupid?!"

"Nope but they are," the hidden Tallest retorted. His smirk never faded. "Come on, lemme handle this! I got it!"

You could see headlights shining through your window. The lights grew brighter quickly, signaling that they were closing in fast. They were going to stop by after all. Your heart almost leapt out of your throat and you were certain you were paler than a ghost in that instant.

Abruptly, you released Bambi and the big mutt happily jumped up on Dib. As soon as your released your dog, you grabbed Purple by his shoulders. You pulled him down to your height, staring directly into his eyes.

"Do not," you said, your tone deadly serious, "do not let them in. Do you understand me? They're going to probably throw us all into prison and I am not losing my job and livelihood over this! For the love of God and all that's holy, good and pure in this universe, don't screw this up!"

His eyes were widened as he listened to you. He wasn't expecting you to be handling and speaking to him like this. While he should've been annoyed or angered by it, more than anything else, he was interested. Maybe even amused.

"Remember what I said?" he asked, giving you a suave wink. "Give me control of the situation."

You mind blanked out for a millisecond when he winked at you. It felt like you needed to reboot at that but you gained a grip on yourself.

"I'm serious," you asserted.

"So am I," he answered.

Somehow, he went from playful (or borderline flirtatious) to imperious in an instant. That alone convinced you he had this. You weren't going to test or argue with this any longer. That could wait.

"Both of you get out of here," he instructed. "Take that beast too."

You could hear a car door slam. They were right outside your cabin.

"Come on," you said, gesturing both to Dib and Bambi. "Let's go upstairs."

You ducked low, trying to avoid being seen in the window. You wanted to make it look like Purple was the only one here if that was possible.

As soon as you made it up to the second floor, you could hear the tense, loud and urgent knocking on your door. If your bladder wasn't full, you'd probably wet yourself right then and there but luck was on your side for now. You ushered yourself and your two companions into your bedroom, wanting to keep them all as quiet as possible.

"Just a moment, please!" Purple announced.

"It's the government, open up!" the burly sounding agent demanded.

The Tallest chuckled to himself and opened the door up. There was indeed an agent on the doorstep. Behind the man sat the vehicle he was in moments before. There was another agent in the driver's seat and he looked just as menacing and intimidating as the one at the door. The headlights were still on and were shining into his eyes. Purple blinked at the brightness, trying to adjust to it.

"Good evening," he said, "can I help you?"

"We were tracking down an interloper that trespassed onto the restricted zone," the terse agent explained, getting right down to business. "We think he passed by this area. Have you seen a kid with an abnormally large head running by?"

"Abnormally large you say…" He rested a hand on his chin and tapped on it, pretending to concentrate. "I don't think so."

"Wait a minute, this is one of the ranger's cabins, right?"

"Yes…"

"You don't match the profiles we have of them! There's a woman living here! A Miss…"

"Oh, your information is right! But she's in the shower! Should I go get her?"

"Uh…no, that's, uh, not necessary."

"My apologies, I should explain myself better. I'm her cousin, I'm staying with her for a bit. She's been so nice, letting me stay at her house for a little while. So hopefully that'll clear up any confusion."

"Tell the lady that she needs to report anything regarding this incident. We take trespassers very seriously and we have some super secret business going up on that ridge! We government people have to look after a lot of things!"

"I understand, I'll be sure to tell her about it as soon as she's done. So, what're you guys working on up there? Are you working on a secret project to weaponize gophers?"

"That's highly classified information, sir! But we stopped funding that project two years ago. We're working on creating an army of cyborg guinea pigs now."

"I see! But not really…"

"You don't need to know what's going on!"

"But I was told a drone landed there!"

"It did!"

"So, it definitely wasn't an alien spaceship?"

"Absolutely not! Aliens don't exist! The not-a-spaceship has been seized and taken to a super secret warehouse where will definitely not be doing tests on it!"

"Really? Can I take a few guesses as to where you might've taken it?"

"It's definitely not Area 51!"

"Well, you got me! I guess I'll never know."

This creature actually worked for the government..? Purple found it almost hard to believe. He could only imagine what the other agents were possibly like.

"Hey, have you seen anything unusual around here?" the man resumed. "If so, you need to report it!"

"Like what exactly?" Purple smirked smarmily. He was trying hard to not burst out laughing. "Define 'unusual'."

"Any weird things! Like little green men and things like that!"

"I don't think so! But I will keep an eye out for anything like that, I promise! I mean, there are all sorts of strange critters running around… You could be looking right at an alien and wouldn't even know it!"

"You're right!" The agent gasped and looked dumbfounded for a moment. "I'm the one who should be looking around for things like that!"

"Like that thing over there!" Purple pointed to the edge of the tree line.

The man nearly jumped out of his suit and spun around. He flicked on his flashlight and saw a deer's head peeking out from the brush. It was a sizable buck and had a large set of antlers branching off its cranium.

"Oh my gosh!" the agent screamed. "It's one of those Winnebagos! They eat people and live in the woods! We've been trying to catch one forever!" He turned to his partner who was still sitting in the car. "Kevin, we have a new assignment! After that Winnebago! Don't let him get away!"

He bolted off the deck and hopped into the passenger's seat. The car swung into reverse, kicking up gravel and spinning its wheels rapidly. When the car was put into drive, it peeled off, careening after the very confused and frightened deer.

Purple only watched the federal goons speed off, smirking to himself as he did so. He cackled and shut the door, feeling pleased with how the whole encounter played out. They didn't suspect a thing and it also helped that the agent was a colossal idiot.

"It's called a Wendigo, not a Winnebago!" Dib commented. He was standing at the top of the stairwell, looking back down at his fellow "Human". "And that wasn't a Wendigo, it was a regular old deer!"

"They don't think so, kid," Purple remarked. He stared back at Dib suspiciously. "Weren't you supposed to be hiding..?"

"Yeah but I wanted to listen to what that guy had to say."

"Okay, I've had enough of this insanity," you said, speaking up at last. Now that the agents were gone, you felt like you could act. "Kid…"

"Dib. My name is Dib."

"Dib…" You exhaled forcefully, trying to not get too angry at the youth. "Where are your parents? I'm going to call them, take you to them and we're gonna forget this happened."

"My dad is too busy, he doesn't know I'm here."

"No excuses!" You raised your tone. "How old are you?"

"Twelve."

Jesus Christ.

"Twelve…" you repeated, dumbfounded by his father's obvious neglect. "I have half a mind to call child protective services on your father for not monitoring you. Do you realize what you've done?!"

"Oh, that's not the point!" Dib howled. "Look, I went up there to investigate the crash site! I have proof that an alien has crash landed!"

"That's a big claim to back up," Purple said.

He still was going to maintain this charade for as long as possible. He wasn't going to jeopardize his cover and have this crazed Earthling harass him. This was Zim's nemesis and he knew better than to divulge too much. From what Zim told him about this boy named Dib, he was persistent, annoying and obsessed with exposing him. He couldn't let that happen to himself. If it came down to it, Purple was more than ready to eliminate anyone who found out about his secret.

"Of course I do!" Dib retorted.

He removed his backpack and opened it up. He sifted through his supplies and plucked his camera out. Then he turned it on and accessed the gallery.

Your eyes nearly fell out of your sockets when you saw that one picture… You recognized that symbol, you remembered seeing it when you went up to the crash site. You couldn't believe Dib actually got up there and managed to snap some photographs. It made the blood in your veins run cold. Now he was either seeing you as a sly liar or a blind idiot.

"This was no drone!" Dib said. "You were lied to by the government! An actual alien ship landed here! And from the look of it, it's of Irken origin. There's another one of those filthy alien scumbags running around along with Zim! Now I have to try to hunt them down and make sure they don't try anything…evil or whatever."

Purple blinked as he saw the picture. That was indeed a piece of his ship. He gave the small Earthling credit and was impressed he managed to pull this stunt off. But given his encounter with the government officials, perhaps it wasn't so difficult to get this done after all.

Regardless, he would bide his time and see what more would unfold. He also had a location he could survey in the future. As far as he was concerned, he fully intended to salvage his ship and leave with it when the time came. He wasn't going to let the Humans disassemble and ruin his vessel and leave him permanently marooned on this planet with the exile he and Red had banished there to begin with.

"How can the both of you have nothing to say about this?!" the boy persisted. "How?! The proof is right there!"

"Oh, for God's sake, what do you want me to say?" you said, throwing your hands up in the air.

"What did they tell you? Did you really think it was a drone or did they force you to believe it was?"

"I'm not going to comment on this anymore. Contact your father and I'll help you get back together with him. I don't need to be fifty questioned to death by a twelve year old."

"You!" Dib pointed at Purple. "What do you think about this?"

"I can hardly believe it!" he answered. He laid the back of his hand against his forehead, feigning his shock. "An alien couldn't have possibly landed here! I mean, what are the odds?"

"Don't be so surprised! There is definitely a hostile alien presence on our planet and I'm gonna put an end to it once and for all!"

"Alright, I'm sick of this talk about aliens!" you said, raising your voice once more. "Dib, call your dad, now! I'm not gonna get in trouble for dealing with your shenanigans! It's cute that you have your evidence and I'm sure you're all happy and hunky-dory. But you're still in deep shit for disobeying the law!"

Your patience was totally spent. Your nerves were shot from the surprise visit from the agents. Just because they went away this time didn't mean that they wouldn't come back at another opportunity. Who knew what would happen in the future. Maybe some more competent agents would show up and question you about the incident. There was no telling how that might play out.

You had an alien and an over enthusiastic paranormal investigator under your roof and it was a little too much for you at the moment. Now they were feeding off of each other's actions and you had to pull the plug on this. You had to try to regain control and restore some order… But it got harder and harder to focus and try to calm down.

"She-beast, don't worry about it," Purple said, waving a hand dismissively. He made his way over to the couch and turned on the TV. "You're being too harsh on the little man."

"Purple, shut up before I punch you in your throat," you snapped at him. "You act like a kid yourself so you have no input to offer."

"I totally am an adult! I drove off those idiots, didn't I?"

"Yeah, a fetus could fool them." You sighed loudly and rubbed your face. "I'm going to have a massive panic attack…"

"Don't worry, I can take care of myself," said Dib. "I have to go back home anyway and figure out where exactly the invader went!"

"Okay. Well I'm not gonna stop you. You've already proven to me how much of a headstrong and stubborn kid you are. But you're not wandering around the woods more than you already have."

"You can't drive me out of here, they'll know something is up if they see you driving around."

Huh. He actually made a solid point. He was a smart cookie.

"True," you said, nodding your head. "Look, I'm sorry for yelling. Just… get out of here before they find you. Your luck may run out. And don't let me catch you trespassing around here after hours again."

"Thanks for letting me hide here," he said. "And don't you worry about the alien menace, I'll take care of it!"

Ha. If only he knew.

Although he was leaving against your better judgement, you knew it would implicate you were in on this incident. If you tried to smuggle him out of the park in your truck and if you were caught, heads would roll. It was a risk you didn't want to chance. Besides, it looked like this kid could take care of himself and you had some confidence in him. You had a feeling he'd make it out of it okay.

Dib opened the front door and walked out. He quietly shut the door behind him and listened to the sound of his footsteps on your wooden porch and stairs. His footfalls died off and you peeked out a window, watching his shape melt into the darkness as he left the area your floodlight illuminated.

"That was way too close," you sighed loudly. "I thought I was gonna puke all over myself."

"Are humans always this anxious and fearful?" Purple asked.

"Only the smart ones. The smart, wary ones usually try to think ahead."

"You overthink it way too much. But anyway, I found out they're keeping my ship at some place called Area 51. I'm gonna have to go confiscate it eventually."

One didn't simply walk into Area 51. Usually intruders who got too close were shot on sight. The lucky ones sometimes got thrown into prison for an undisclosed period of time or were never the same again when they were free to go. It was a place everyone heard about but knew nothing of. It was an enigma.

"You can't stroll into there," you said, disbelieving of what he just said. "They'll kill or capture you for sure!"

"Trust me, I'm not impressed with what your planet has to offer when it comes down to certain things," Purple remarked. He frowned as he looked back at you. "If there are a bunch of idiots like that one I talked to in this so-called Area 51, I'll take back what is mine with no trouble."

"No, no, I don't think you understand…"

"Neither do you."

His Earthling disguise fizzled out, revealing his true nature. The illusion already had a disgruntled look on its face and now his real face wore the same expression. His large, purple eyes were narrowed.

"Area 51 is one of the most highly guarded and top secret places on Earth," you explained. "They're always expecting some idiot to try to break in. They're always ready for things like that."

"So?" he said. "I don't care. I already got a plan in mind. Don't worry about it."

You had no energy to argue with him. That was going to have to wait for another day. You almost had your life scared out of you and you wanted to call it quits for the night. Everything was going to be a problem for the future you.

"Hey, you're the man with the plan," you said, rolling your shoulders. "I'll leave it in the hands of the Tallest."

"That's more like it!" he replied, grinning as he did so. "I'm not doing it right now but I'll have to do it eventually. Trying to reclaim it too quickly isn't so smart. They'll be expecting that. I have to catch them off guard."

"Like I said, you've got this."

You walked into the kitchen and opened up the fridge. Inside one of the drawers was a bottle of hard cider. You smirked at the glorious vision and grasped onto the glass container.

"Hello, happy buzz!" you smiled, savoring the sweet, alcoholic nectar to come.

A loud, jarring noise rang out, causing you to yelp loudly and drop the beverage. It clanged noisily atop the others in the drawer but luckily none of them broke. You froze, petrified by the abruptness and stunned for a few moments.

"Someone's at the door!" Purple called from the living room.

That was odd. But it was probably that agent from earlier. As long as Dib was out of the picture, you felt as if you could probably deal with it.

"Get it, please!" you yelled back to him.

You didn't hear some howl of reluctance or heavy sigh of despond. He must've been okay with your request because you heard no commotion at all. Maybe he was looking forward to mess with any of your fellow species that came to your door.

You smiled and regained your composure. Once again, you grabbed the bottle and closed the refrigerator. Then you twisted the cap off and took a small, experimental swig of the drink.

"Oh, this night will get better from here," you muttered to yourself. "The worst is done."

You slowly edged towards the doorway that divided your living room and kitchen. You kept quiet, wanting to listen in on whatever conversation Purple was having with this new visitor. Inwardly, you smirked, just wondering whatever was going on now. Being as sly as possible, you dared to peek around the corner to see whatever was going on.

It was a little difficult but you could definitely make out a shape. However, it was a bit odd… This visitor seemed to be roughly of the same height Dib was. The small person was wearing a reddish-pink outfit of some sort and it looked like they wore black gloves and boots. They had black hair and they had a pair of rather large eyes. But the weirdest and most distinguishable feature that you noticed was their bizarre skin tone. It looked almost identical to Purple's green hue.

"Greetings, tall meat monkey!" the person said to the exiled Tallest. "I'm here doing my skool project! I need to know about the crashed Irken… I mean the crashed Earth-drone that landed here a little bit ago. I would love to have some questions answered." They paused for a moment before screaming loudly. "TELL ZIM NOW!"

Chapter Text

Chapter 11 Reassignment

Maybe it was because Bambi was still a little off his game due to the agents that were outside the house a few minutes earlier. So many conflicting and new scents were in the air and they distracted him, making him unaware of the most recent visitor until the last moment. Usually he was rather alert and mindful of his surroundings. He had to be while living in the woods with his owner. It was strange how he didn't notice the presence of the creature called Zim until that very moment.

Once the disguised alien loudly announced his presence and intentions, the Rottweiler mix devoted his full attention to him. The beast was somewhat startled by his appearance and the small, green, screeching creature agitated him. The lingering tension from the previous confrontation remained and had him on edge. Now this newest addition to the mix was like throwing gasoline onto a flame.

At this point in time, Bambi had permitted Purple's presence more or less. Some days had gone by and he was accustomed to the sight and smell of the Tallest. He was still wary of the guest but he was no longer so hostile and eager to defend his master and home from him. Since he saw his master was at ease and accepted the weird visitor, the large dog was calm as well.

But this one? The unearthly, strange smell instantly triggered the mutt. The same ferocity he had that certain night reared its head one more. The hair on his haunches raised straight up. His lips curled back, displaying his fangs and showing a fearsome, threatening snarl. His ears were pulled back, further belying his aggression and eagerness to lunge.

Bambi never reacted this way to human beings since he was more than familiar with them. Typically, he loved people. But he was a smart dog and he could easily see this was no Human. He saw right through the pitiful disguise and he wanted it gone. And he was more than willing to do it himself. No one was going to hurt his master, bunny sibling or home on his watch.

It all happened so fast and you had no time to react. You were stunned into silence and could only stare back at the visitor named Zim. You were finally snapped back to reality when Bambi barreled out the door and crashed into the Irken Invader. The pained and fearful screams of the tiny alien rang out as he was bitten and ripped into by your dog.

"Oh my God, Bambi!" you screamed.

You leapt into action, forsaking your hiding place in the kitchen. You had to stop Bambi not because he might be potentially killing this creature but because you didn't want Zim to vaporize your pet. There was no way you could let that happen. As far as you were concerned, the banished Invader wasn't someone you necessarily wanted on your planet either.

Purple was absolutely no help. Instead, he was leaning in the doorway, far too busy with laughing his ass off. He simply stood aside and laughed while he watched Zim be mauled by the dog.

"Bambi, no!" you cried out as you exited your cabin. "Stop it!"

You jumped into the fray, seeing Bambi chewing on Zim's skull. Being as forceful but mindful as possible, you grabbed his collar and pulled him back. Bambi snarled, refusing to let go of the still flailing and wailing alien.

"Let go, now!" you commanded, your voice fevered and panicked. "Drop him!"

It was totally possible that the commotion was going to attract attention. Those government goons could show up at any opportunity and it frightened you to your core. If they happened upon this mayhem, you'd have some serious explaining to do and you didn't know if you were going to get out of that at all.

"I said to drop it!" you bellowed, your voice hurting from saying it so loudly.

Finally, Bambi relented. Though he released, he still lunged and barked savagely at the intruder. You stumbled backwards, dragging your dog away from Zim. The Irken was laying on the ground, his shape heaving but largely unmoving.

Purple was still having the time of his life, relishing in Zim's unfortunate encounter with the dog. You shoved past the taller Irken and nearly tossed Bambi into the house, forbidding him to interact any further. He had to be out of the picture.

"Dammit, Bambi, enough!" you scolded him.

Once that he was inside, you slammed the door shut. Bambi continued to bark and growl, pawing at the door, desperate to get outside and finish his work. While you were secretly impressed by his protective capabilities and loyalty, in this situation, it wasn't helpful in the slightest bit.

With the angry canine out of the way, you refocused on Zim. He was still on the ground, recovering from that frightening bout. His "hair" was gone and you could see two antennae on his head. One of his "eyes" was actually a lens of sorts and was on the ground. The true eye was large and colorful just like Purple's except this one was ruby red. Now there was no doubt about his true nature. He was indeed an Irken just like the one you were sheltering.

You held your ground on the porch, hesitant to take a step forward and address him. A part of you wanted to go inside and pretend that this didn't even take place. But there was no way that was going to happen. He came here for a reason and he was consequently attacked. There was no way he was going to back down now.

"I need my gun," you said out loud. It didn't occur to you until then. Now you were feeling awfully vulnerable. "I need it now."

When you turned to hurry back inside and grab your trusted weapon, you could feel Purple's hand clamp on your upper arm.

"No, you don't," he retorted.

"Yes, I do," you corrected him. "My dog attacked him and now he's gonna come after me."

A pained groan came from Zim. Your head snapped to his direction. He was starting to sit up and he looked, well, like he was attacked by an animal. Some of his outfit was shredded and he was covered in dirt, scrapes and bruises as well.

"How dare you!" he howled. "Your filthy, stinky weredog attacked me!"

"The jig is up!" you warned, trying to wrestle yourself free from Purple's grasp. "I can see you're no Earthling!"

Zim gasped and he looked downward, seeing one of his lenses was on the ground. Hastily, he picked it up and placed it over his true eye, concealing it. He blinked a few times, making sure the lens was securely in place. He also plucked up his wig and concealed his antennae. Then he jumped up and dusted himself off, shrugging off the attack that just happened.

"It's okay, I already contracted rabies before, I'll be fine," he told himself more than anyone else. His fake gaze turned back to you and his smile was unnaturally large and unconvincing. "See, I'm normal! I'm definitely Human!"

"You're green!" you argued. "You've got great big, bug eyes and some antennae! You're an alien, little man!"

"No, I'm not! I am just like you, beast-keeper!" He cleared his throat. "Now, what were we talking about before I was viciously attacked?"

"You have a project or something?" Purple smirked sassily.

"Indeed! Zim needs assistance with his skool assignment!"

"Look, you need to leave!" you cut in, wanting to end this encounter as soon as possible. "The government is literally in these woods and they're looking for an alien and you fit the bill. You can't fool me."

"I came this far for information, you won't turn me away, pig-monkey!"

"Oh, I'm so getting my gun now."

"You there, freakishly tall Human!"

A pair of metal limbs sprung from his PAK and he skittered over to your position. Visibly, you flinched and tried to pry yourself from Purple's surprisingly steely grip. Luckily for you, he seemed to have lost interest in you and was focused on Purple instead.

"Tell Zim what you know!" he urged. "Or I'll melt your head and turn it into a jack-o-lantern or something!"

"You're not gonna do that," Purple remarked.

"Stupid creature! I suggest you cooperate."

You could see the amusement fade from Purple's gaze. A frown began to show up on his face and he glowered at Zim.

"And I suggest you know your place, Invader Zim," he snapped back.

"Eh?" Zim's antennae pricked upwards, belying his curiosity. "Who are you?!"

"Don't do it!" you chimed in, trying to get through to Purple. "Don't blow your cover! Listen to me!"

Though his hold on you remained stubborn, he was totally deaf to your words. Now he was entirely invested in Zim. He wouldn't let this upstart defective insult and slander him. He might have been in exile but he was still a Tallest. He still commanded power and authority, especially from one of his own species.

At last, he released your arm. While his hologram disguise was still in effect, his PAK limbs sprung out. They raised him high off the ground, towering over Zim even more and fully intending to intimidate and belittle the diminutive Irken.

"You..!" Zim gasped, his huge eyes widening even further. "You're an Irken?! You're the one who crashed here!"

"I'm no loser nobody," Purple hissed. "I'm much more than that!"

Then his disguise faded out, unveiling him for who he truly was. The Tallest looked upon Zim disapprovingly, his spindly, metal limbs still propping him high up off the ground.

The cat was out of the bag now.

Zim's own PAK limbs retreated and he fell to his knees. He bowed his head so low to the ground that his forehead touched it. He was entirely humbled and beyond honored that one of his Tallest was here on Earth. It was like a dream come true. He had been looking forward to this day for so long…

"My Tallest!" he shrieked in joy. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"Zim, I ought to shoot you into the sun for your insolence and disrespect!" Purple scowled, raising his voice.

"Forgive me, my Tallest! I didn't know it was you! I would've never said such things if I knew it was really you!"

"Hmm, perhaps I should cut you a little slack for that… I'll forgive you if you do this for me."

"Anything for you, my Tallest!"

"Repeat after me, Invader Zim… ‘Invader Zim is an idiot and cannot ever match the brilliance and majesty of Almighty Tallest Purple’."

…was he actually serious?

"'Invader Zim is an idiot and cannot ever match the brilliance and majesty of Almighty Tallest Purple'," Zim recited perfectly.

"Good, now you are forgiven," Purple smiled.

"Forgive me, my Tallest… But I have so many questions. Why haven't I talked to you and Tallest Red in over two years? Whenever I contact the Massive, Minister Rarl Kove is always there. He annoys me! He said you two were on an extended vacation."

Purple seemed like he was hesitant or a bit unsure of what to say. He looked put on spot and at a loss. Now he seemed like he wasn't so in control of the situation.

"Well, uh, you see, Zim…" Purple cleared his throat. Finally, he lowered his frame down to the Earth and retracted his PAK limbs. "There's kind of a civil war going on."

"A war within our own mighty Empire?!" Zim said, sounding aghast. "How, my Tallest? How is that possible? Why wasn't I told this before?!"

"To, uh, keep you safe! Yeah, that's it! We can't risk the life of our finest Invader!"

"I will fight for the honor and safety of my Tallest!" Zim stood back up and placed his hands on his hips, looking proud and determined. "I will destroy the enemy and help restore order to our grand and glorious empire. FOR I AM ZIM!"

"It's not necessary, Zim! You see, uh, I have a very important thing for you to accomplish. This is a super important reassignment and I can't trust anyone else to do this!"

"What is it?!"

"I know we assigned you to invade the Earth but we have determined that the planet is actually useful to us! Zim, why didn't you tell me that some of the finest sweets and snacks in the universe are made here?!"

"Uh, uh a slight oversight on my part, my Tallest, forgive me! I was more concerned with destroying the filthy Earth monkeys rather than evaluating their snacks!"

"I have decided Earth will be spared and added to our Empire. Earth will be converted to my own private bakery and uh…retreat. And since this is the case, here is where your reassigning becomes relevant, Zim. With the civil war going on, I don't want the Earth to be blown up or damaged. It is now your new mission to protect the Earth and make sure no rebels come and destroy it."

"Ah, I see!" Zim seemed pleased with this development. He smiled and folded his hands together. "I will happily accept this new mission, my Tallest! I am honored and delighted to protect this planet as it is your mighty command!" He paused for a moment. "But what about the filthy Humans?"

"Eh, we'll figure that out later when the war ends. Just make sure the enemy doesn't come here and cause trouble. I will be very, very unhappy if you fail to do your job. Do you understand me?"

"I fully understand, sir! I won't fail you!"

You watched their exchange, unsure of what to think exactly. You were aware that Purple planned on absorbing Earth into the Irken Empire. That was a bridge you still had to cross. You knew that undoubtedly, chaos would ensue if the inhabitants of Earth woke up one day and found themselves to be enslaved and forced to make donuts for the rest of their lives. You couldn't let that happen.

"Um, do I have a say in the matter considering I am an inhabitant of this planet?" you asked, feeling a little awkward.

"Silence, filthy monster of meat and hormones!" Zim snapped at you. "You will obey the Tallest or be squished under their mighty fist of doom! You will speak when spoken to!"

"Zim!" Purple said in a warning, chiding tone. "Do not speak to my personal servant like that!"

"I'm sorry, your what?" you asked, disbelieving you heard those words come out of his mouth.

"She opened up her home to me when I landed on Earth and she offered to shelter me. I rewarded her for her loyalty by making her a member of my personal staff. When this is all said and done, I will be taking her with me."

"Pardon me?!" You couldn't believe what he was saying. He had to be out of his mind. "You wanna repeat that?!"

Unbeknownst to you, being a member of the Tallest's personal staff was a coveted and highly prized position within Irken society. These individuals were treated fairly better than other classes and were chosen depending on what the current, reigning Tallest deemed was valuable about them. The staff were also rewarded comfortable housing, higher quality food and other perks so long as they remained within the favor and good graces of their ruler. If a Tallest was feeling especially generous, they would leave their unwanted leftovers to their staff. Such members consisted of advisors, bodyguards, personal cooks and bakers, tailors and seamstresses, jesters and other "talented" individuals. Once in a blue moon, aliens of other species were included in a Tallest's personal entourage but this was a rare occurrence due to the Irkens' xenophobic tendencies and supremacy complexes.

"You've made her a member of the Imperial Entourage?!" Zim questioned, sounding genuinely astonished.

"Yes," Purple retorted, "do you dare question who I add to my staff, Invader Zim?"

"No, my Tallest! Forgive me! It is not often that a non-Irken is included in such a exclusive and privileged posse!" He looked to you, swallowing nervously. Zim dared not to anger his Tallest further. "You must be gifted if my Tallest has chosen you as one of his personal servants. Do you accept Zim's apology?"

Purple elbowed you in your ribs. You were pert near to clobbering him for his shenanigans.

"Just roll with it," he whispered to you. "Trust me, I know how to deal with him. I'm trying to get him out of here slowly but surely. Follow my lead."

"For your sake, I hope you're right," you said lowly. Then you turned your attention to Zim, feeling out of place. "Uh, it's fine. Apology accepted."

"It is not often that a lowly alien lifeform is included amongst a Tallest's personal entourage," Zim explained. "The last time that happened was during Almighty Tallest Miyuki's reign. One of her favored scientists was a Vortian. What's your title? What has the Tallest deemed worthy of you?"

"My title…?" You hesitated, blanking out and having zero idea of how to progress with that. This was bizarre and you didn't know how to react or what to even say for that matter.

"Oh, she is the official Beast-Master and Wildlife…Overlord!" Purple added, making it all up as he went along.

"I see!" Zim smirked. "Impressive! Be honored and happy, Beast-Master! Working directly for and with the Tallest and being so close to them is something many Irken would kill for! You're so lucky!"

"You don't say…" you drawled, rolling your eyes.

"Now, Zim," Purple said, refocusing on the matter at hand. "You must remain on the Earth and not destroy it, do you understand me? Don't forget it! Protect the Earth from the traitors and their allies. That is your newest mission."

You did feel some relief. For now, the Irken race wasn't so concerned with conquering other worlds. What mattered currently was self-preservation and defending what assets they had now. Once this internal strife was done, perhaps they'd resume their previous business of expanding their empire. That would be a new problem for the future. That would be a hurdle for you to overcome eventually. But what you did know was that you couldn't allow Earth to be enslaved. Destruction was out of the question at this point and you were very grateful for that. You never could've foreseen that junk food would literally save the planet.

"But, my Tallest," Zim said. "I understand my mission yet I must know how this war happened without me knowing. HOW AND WHY?!"

"One of our own betrayed us," Purple bitterly revealed. "One of our finest Invaders turned into a traitor and rallied many Irken defectives and rebels to her cause. She then joined forces with the Resisty and is aiding them with attacking and sabotaging us."

"'She'?" Zim scowled heavily and one of his antenna twitched in agitation. "Who is this unworthy, ungrateful, traitorous beast?! Who dares to turn their back on our Empire?! And an Invader did this too?! How could she?! She knows better!"

"Invader Lyn did this."

"The conqueror of the infernal, savage bird-people of Yutus? Why has she done this?!"

"What matters is that she is the cause of this. She won't stop until my co-Tallest and I are exterminated and the Empire is totally ruined. Lyn can't be reasoned with so she must be destroyed at all costs."

"My Tallest, I had a feeling she was a dangerous defective!"

"We knew she was a defective but we had no idea just how bad it was."

Purple hung his head low. He grimaced at the memory of that horrible message Lyn sent him and Red. There was so much blood… Pax wasn't even recognizable and her PAK was beyond salvaging. She was mutilated and defiled. 

He had no real opinion on the Archivist but he gave her some respect and credit since his co-Tallest was fond of her. She was Red's business and he'd leave it at that. He simply didn't care about her. Yet with the reveal of her death, Purple remembered how shocked he was. And he would never forget the sheer pain, horror, rage and confusion etched on Red's face. That would stay with him until the end.

"Tallest Red and I had to go into exile to throw off Lyn and the Resisty," Purple resumed. "They even had spies on the Massive! Traitors are everywhere… But soon enough, they will all be exterminated without mercy."

"I had no idea there were so many backstabbers around us," Zim said. The smaller Irken legitimately sounded confused and startled by his Tallest's news. "How can that be?!"

"We'll figure that eventually. What matters the most is carrying out your mission, Zim. It is very important so don't screw it up, I mean it!"

"Understood, sir! I won't fail you!"

"You better not."

"I'm happy to see you have decided to choose Earth as your sanctuary, my Tallest. You won't regret it! I am not too far away so if you need assistance, do not hesitate to call the mighty Zim!"

"Keep an eye on that large headed kid as well. He came here asking about the crash. He doesn't know who I truly am and I'd like to keep it that way. Keep him in the dark about this as much as you can. If I need anything from you, I will contact you. Let's keep communication down to a minimum so the enemy doesn't happen to pick up on our transmissions by some freak chance."

"Of course! And, sir, I must know what happened to your co-Tallest. Where is he?"

Purple had no idea where he was. All he hoped was that Red was okay and safe. Many times, he was tempted to try to reach out and check in on him but he didn't want to risk both of their lives. For their own survival, they had to scatter and remain silent.

Inwardly, he made a mental note to have a giant, celebratory bowl of snacks made when they'd reunite. And he was going to be sure to share it with him.

"He's safe and that's all I'll say," Purple retorted. "You're dismissed, Zim."

"Yes, my Tallest!" Zim nodded. "Thank you!"

You and Purple watched as Zim's PAK limbs sprang out and he hurriedly ran off into the shadowy woods. You could hear the telltale tapping of the artificial appendages as their tips hit the cool, leaf covered ground. He was gone in no time at all and there was no way you could tell where he had gone next. Hopefully he truly hit the road and he wouldn't pester you any longer.

"Can this night be done and over with?" you sighed loudly. "I'd like to finish my beverage and chill out."

"Look, be happy I was able to get rid of Zim pretty easily," Purple answered. "Usually it's a joint effort with Red and I. I'm pretty proud of myself honestly."

"And what is this with me being your personal servant?" You set your hands on your hips.

"That part is actually true."

"Excuse me?"

Purple groaned impatiently and headed towards the door. He opened it up, pushing past the now quiet and somewhat calmer Bambi who lingered close by.

"You're my Earth-guide," he explained. "And I've come to see Earth as a valuable addition so…yeah, be happy."

"What sort of trouble are you going to get me into?" you vented, shutting the door behind you as you followed him into the house. "You're actually including me in your staff?"

"Ugh, do I have to repeat myself? Yes! I don't even have a lot of staff members to begin with and you're useful! Deal with it."

Deep breaths… That's what you kept telling yourself. With each day that went by, it seemed like he was entwining his life more with yours. While you wanted to avoid that, it looked like it was impossible. Now he was making you part of his entourage and you had no say in the matter.

You had to think positively. At least the government and Dib didn't know what was going on. It had you worried that Zim was now in on your doings. But at least he wasn't bent on destroying your home now. Purple had reassigned his duties and now things would be calmer…in theory.

Perhaps with you being so close to him, it might prove advantageous. You'd have to take it all one day at a time. He was turning into your shadow, and you his.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12 Of Warriors and Leaders

(one month later - November)

It really didn't feel like much time passed by. All you did was try to continue on like everything was normal. That was the only thing you could do. After all, you couldn't let anyone else know what was really going on. It was your burden and yours alone.

A week after the incident with Dib, the federal agents finally left. Their presence was completely gone and it was as if they weren't even there. The tents, buildings and crates that were scattered all over the site not too long ago had all but vanished. The small crater that the ship rested in was filled in with dirt, trying to disguise things as much as possible. The skid mark in the earth was plowed and flattened out again in an attempt to make it look unremarkable and ordinary. But at least the agents and personnel were gone and had moved on with their business.

According to your boss, there was a slight chance that agents might drop by every once in awhile in the future for "follow ups". He said that the purpose of their intermittent, random visits was to check up on the crash site and make sure nature was filling in the space properly once again. It was very odd since that was your and your fellow rangers' jobs to begin with. You and your coworkers knew it was all rather fishy and they suspected the feds were there for some other business they weren't divulging to your superior. There was no need to have them interfere. As far as you were concerned, you wanted them gone for good. You didn't need to have them poking around.

It was your belief that they were still looking for signs of their elusive pilot. They seemed hellbent on it. Perhaps they knew it was likely that the otherworldly visitor had moved on and possibly blended in with the rest of Earth's population. And yet they still wanted to return to the park and look for anything they might've possibly overlooked. They had already confiscated you and your coworker's cameras but found nothing on them. You were pretty convinced that divine intervention most likely had a hand in that.

Despite what happened, the state park returned to a sense of normalcy. You and your coworkers resumed your typical duties and kept your heads low. The wildlife was starting to stir again and all the species you were familiar with and saw so frequently before this mess started to turn up once more. The deer were less skittish and were spotted more frequently. Coyotes were yipping and howling in the middle of the night again. Raccoons even tried to get into your locked, bear-proof garbage can once again.

Conveniently, Zack had a poacher make rounds in his assigned zone literally days after the government left. It seemed that even the malcontents were making their return to the park as well once things cooled off. Some regular, more benign visitors were also coming back, taking their hikes before the arrival of winter. It was pretty regular and common for attendance to gradually taper off and even become nonexistent during some days or weeks in January and February.

Then there was the subject of your guest. While you and Purple were on rocky terms in the beginning, you two had largely accepted one another as time went on. He needed his cover and you didn't want to end up being implicated in his sheltering should he throw you under the bus. The both of you became accustomed to one another. There were times when you wanted to snap that thin spine of his in half but for the most part, you learned to deal with his…quirks and demands. He was definitely more tolerable as you came to accept what he was like and had to adapt as needed.

The Tallest still ate constantly and was a bit of a pig but you were able to deal with it. You also did more baking than you had ever done in your entire life and you were pretty confident you could whip up a mean batch of cookies if it came down to it. Most of the time, you made these sweets for him to keep him compliant and happy. You didn't want him making anything without your supervision for fear of him burning your house down while you were working.

Usually, whenever you came back after doing your duties for the day, he was usually playing video games or watching movies. He still had a tendency to play his favorite songs on a loop for a few hours at a time but when that happened, you opted to put some headphones on and tune it all out. As long as you couldn't hear the same song, over and over again, you didn't care. His singing was still as atrocious as when you first heard it at the Honey Pot and you found yourself snickering when his high-pitched, out of tune voice sang along with whatever composition.

When it came down to taking turns on the TV, it was sometimes a little heated. Most of the time, you two took turns to make things fair for the both of you. Usually, it ended with him moaning in boredom and he would steal the clicker from you so he could find another show to watch. He still demanded to be treated as an honored guest and would remind you of that whenever you tried to force him to watch one of your selections.

Purple also clearly had a preference for certain genres. He seemed partial to musicals and the children's classics that you grew up with. He also liked comedies although you had to explain some of the humor to him. The Irken leader seemed to be interested in some science fiction or action movies but it would sometimes take convincing to have him give them a chance. He only entertained horror movies just so he could laugh at the misfortunes of the oblivious and idiotic protagonists and cheer on the monsters as they ate their hapless victims.

Living with Purple was certainly a challenge but it wasn't impossible. He might've been the leader of a ruthless empire of invaders and warriors but he was somehow tolerable despite it all. Not only that, you were still hungry for knowledge. You still wanted to know all about his species and the chaos that was happening just outside of your solar system. You were pretty certain that you would still want to know everything in the end of it all.

When you walked up onto your front porch, you noticed it seemed quiet on the inside. You didn't hear music blasting or him shrieking into the microphone at some "cheating" gamer. Instead, it was totally silent. You weren't quite sure what to think of that. It was out of the ordinary.

"Hello, everyone," you said. You announced your presence outside of the door and opened it up. "Is everyone alive?"

When you entered your cabin, you could see Purple sitting on the floor. He was staring directly into Baby's cage. Meanwhile, the rabbit was peacefully eating away at some hay. His eyes were pinned on her and it looked like he wasn't even blinking.

"Uh, did something happen?" you asked, feeling a little uneasy. "I'm surprised you're not watching 'Momo's Wacky Escapade'."

"I got sick of Gio repeating his name over and over again," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I must tame this creature anyway."

"You're still afraid of her?"

"I'm not scared of a rodent!"

"You run away every single time I let her out."

"She growls at me and she bit me hard!"

"Because you were a stranger. But she knows you better now. I think I know what to do to help you bond with her."

You hustled out of the living room and headed to the kitchen. You opened up the refrigerator and took out three blueberries. This was definitely a surefire way to get the grumpy bunny to warm up to strangers.

"She's a rabbit," you said as you reentered the room. "Rabbits love food and they especially love treats. Some of her favorite things to eat are blueberries."

You took a seat beside the Tallest and held out your hand to him, bearing the fruit. One of his antenna twitched as he looked at the berries and then he looked back at you questioningly.

"So what do I do?" he asked, sounding awkward.

"Take one of the berries," you instructed. "Hold it out to her and she'll take it from you."

"She won't bite me?"

"Uh, I can't give any guarantees… But you have to be calm and show her you're not a threat."

"How come that dog of yours isn't as scary as this small creature?"

"Because she's actually meaner than Bambi. She's usually grumpy but she's got a nice streak too."

"But why is she like that? Why is she so unlikable?"

You actually laughed at that.

"Well, animals have their own personalities just like people do," you said. "A lot of people underestimate them or think they can't have different temperaments."

"Weird."

"Here, I'll show you. Baby, c'mere."

You held one of the blueberries between your fingers and extended them into the cage. Baby froze for a moment, focusing on Purple. She eyed him up for a few seconds before she shook her head and bounded over to your spot. The rabbit gently but swiftly took the blueberry and started to eat it.

"It's as simple as that," you said.

"Oh, that's easy!" Purple snorted.

He plucked up one of the remaining berries from your outstretched palm. He held it by his very fingertips, trying to minimize the chance of being bit.

While he was almost attacked by Bambi a few times in the beginning, the dog was always restrained or was discouraged. This far smaller creature, on the other hand, was a different story. He definitely had an aversion to the rabbit and didn't trust her too much. He wasn't able to pet Bambi but he could see that the canine had accepted his presence slowly but surely. The dog no longer snarled or growled at him. He could've sworn he saw Bambi wag his tail at him once or twice but he was still mystified over why his kind did that. Many times, Purple thought his tail was going to fly off when it was wagging so vigorously whenever you came home.

For a moment, he hesitated. But he gathered up his courage and stuck his fingers through the cage bars with his offering. Purple remained still, hoping his fingers would remain intact.

Once she finished eating her blueberry, Baby turned her attention to the new one being offered to her. She sniffed it cautiously, being wary of his green, inhuman fingers while she was at it.

"Please, don't bite me," he said quietly.

With a soft grunt, Baby took the blueberry from his fingers and happily devoured it. The Tallest smirked at this development, having felt a little accomplished with that.

"She took it from you so that's encouraging," you said with a smirk.

"Lemme try again!" he said, his tone triumphant and happy.

He took the final blueberry and offered it up through the bars. Once Baby was finished with her current one, she took the new one without hesitation.

"See, that wasn't so bad," you chuckled.

"I've tamed her!" he remarked. "Excellent, soon enough she will be my minion!"

"Yeah, good luck with that."

"It's doable, isn't it? You're her master after all!"

"You can't force an animal to like you. You just have to make them comfortable, feed them and take care of them."

"It's weird how you Earthlings have pets and animals that serve you. My species doesn't do that. It's all really weird but I think it's neat too." He tapped his chin and seemed like he was mulling something over. "Perhaps I was right to give you the title of Beast-Master. I made that all up earlier when Zim showed up but I wouldn't mind having my own…pet-thing. You can show me what I should have and teach me everything about it!"

"I suppose I can do that…"

Honestly, you wouldn't trust him with caretaking any animal. Probably the only pet he should have would be a pet rock. But knowing him, he'd still end up neglecting even something like that somehow. You'd only trust him with your pets if you were directly supervising him.

"Oh, there's something else I'm curious about," he said, standing up and leaving the side of Baby's cage.

"And what is it?" you replied, genuinely curious.

"Show me your gun."

"Uh…why?"

"I can appreciate a good weapon."

"I really only use this thing for home defense purposes. Are you gonna try to kill someone with it?"

"Pft, no! I could kill someone with my bare hands if I had to." He chuckled. "So, come on, lemme see it. I'd like to try it out. I'm curious about its capabilities."

"Alright but I'm watching you like a hawk."

You left his side and went upstairs to retrieve the shotgun. You knelt down and perused under your bed, finding it within no time. Carefully, you checked the chamber, making sure there were no rounds in it. Last thing you needed was a hole in someone or in the side of your cabin.

"From what I understand, your guns are very primitive," Purple raised his voice. Even when you were out of sight, he was still addressing you. "They use physical rounds instead of what I'm used to."

"I guess it's safe to say you have like, laser projectiles or something?" you asked, coming out to meet him again.

"Yeah. They're cleaner, easier to use, faster and less of a likelihood of jamming. There's also way less recoil."

You handed the weapon out to him when you made it back to his side. His eyes gleamed in curiosity and excitement and he gingerly took it from you.

"I want to shoot it," he said.

"Uh, that may be a bad idea…" you said quietly.

"Oh, it'll be fine! Stop worrying about it! Let's go set up some targets and have some fun. I'm dying to see what this thing can do!" He turned the gun over, looking over every inch of it and inspecting it. "Very simple design. Easy to figure out and use… I'd like to see this also because you planned on using it on me when we first met." He smirked at you toothily. "I wanna see the punch this thing packs!"

"Okay… Let's be careful, okay?"

"Of course! I know how to handle a gun, even an alien one!"

Oh, Jesus, take the wheel.

(ten minutes later)

The targets you chose were simple and you weren't going to be missing them at all. You filled up some of the large, plastic soda jugs with water and had some aluminum cans set up as well. The makeshift shooting range was simple but it was good enough for something so hastily thrown together.

You also instructed him on how to operate the shotgun. Luckily, as he observed, it was a rather simple design and it was easy to memorize and operate for that matter. To be honest, you were anxious about letting him use it but this was past the point of no return now. It was either take the time to instruct him now or put it off to the point where he seized it himself and ending up blasting a hole in himself or one of your animals. He said he was capable and knew how to handle a gun but you wouldn't take any chances.

You sure weren't going to forget that he could be a colossal idiot at times.

"So, you think you got it?" you wondered.

"Oh, this is way too easy!" Purple scoffed. "All I have to worry about is it jamming! This thing reminds me of the handheld plasma cannons we have. They're good for up close and personal targets. It's messy but fun!"

Smoothly, he opened up the chamber and threw in two shells. He then closed it and pumped it, readying the gun. He flicked the safety off and took aim.

Purple aimed immediately and wasted no time in shooting. The recoil slammed into his torso but he didn't flinch. One of the filled water containers instantly exploded, spraying water and bits of plastic everywhere.

"Ah, I see!" he chirped. "This definitely will tear someone in half!" He turned to face you. "You were fully prepared to destroy me, weren't you?"

"Well…" you said nervously. "I didn't know who or what you were. Can you blame me?"

"I suppose not." He loaded another shell into one of the chambers closed it. Then he smiled at you. "You definitely have guts. I can respect that. You're no coward or afraid to back down."

"When someone has to protect themselves and their property and pets, you can't afford to be a coward. You have to stand and fight. You can't let the one who wants to hurt you and the things you care about win."

He shot again and another plastic bottle exploded. Stray, shredded pieces flew off to the side.

"Are most Earthlings like that?" he questioned, sounding genuinely curious.

"Some are and some aren't," you replied. "Some are pretty spineless. In my line of work, you can't be like that."

"Hmm. Interesting."

You didn't entirely know where this conversation was going. It almost made you wonder as if he was trying to get a feel for you.

"I've told you a bit about myself," he said. "I'd like to know a thing or two about you now."

"Which is?"

"Your family. I know Earthlings tend to be close with theirs and here you are, alone. Your only family members are those two animals."

You came to terms with that a long time ago. Yeah, it was a bit lonely but it was reality. You weren't going to try to change it or refuse to accept it.

"My mom was never in my life," you said. "She dumped me on my dad shortly after I was born. My dad and my grandpa raised me. My grandpa was a naturalist and worked at the park. My dad was a ranger and worked here too. Grandpa died of natural causes a few years ago and my dad died in a freak logging accident over a decade ago."

"That's depressing," Purple remarked.

"Thanks. Can't really expect you to understand it though since you guys don't even have the concept of family."

You had no idea where that snark came from. You weren't even aware that you said those words to him. It caught yourself completely off guard. As far as you knew, that came from nowhere.

"Sorry," you said, trying to cover it all up. "I didn't mean to sound like that."

Purple only looked back at you in silence. It was dreadfully uncomfortable and you hoped your apology would be enough. It also didn't help that he was still holding your shotgun.

After what felt like ten days, he finally looked away from you. He raised the gun, aimed and shot at another target, decimating it instantly. It seemed like he surveyed the destruction it caused, silently observing it.

"I think you deserve to know everything at this point," he said abruptly.

"I'm sorry, I don't follow…" you answered, raising a brow.

"Everything." The Tallest flipped the shotgun open, checking the chamber for any live or remaining rounds. Then he closed it and gently leaned it against a nearby stump. "About the civil war I mean… And everything that led up to it. I know all about how it happened. It was many years in the making."

"What made you come to that decision?"

"Because you deserve to know it at this point. You already know about Zim, myself and the Empire as a whole. How much of that Earth alcohol do you have? And no, I'm not going to the bar to discuss this with you."

"Uh, I have a few bottles of wine in my cellar. I only decant them for special occasions."

"This is one of those. We'll have a nice long talk about it later tonight."

While you were starved for more information and were insatiably curious about this whole affair, now you found yourself unsure of what to think. Now he was ready to do this session of info dumping on you and you weren't sure how to react. He didn't even have a drop of super sugary alcohol and he was already willing to divulge it all. To say you weren't a little suspicious would've been a lie. It made you wonder what exactly was going through Purple's head. And what the end result of this was going to be.

(deep space)

"This is one good pilot. In fact, he's too good!"

Chief Naver glared at the spittle runner that laid dead ahead. Her dark brown eyes kept focused on the shuttle, feeling irked and inconvenienced. Earlier, she didn't predict that this pursuit would give her that much of headache. She thought it would be easy. She and her search party had been tailing this small ship mercilessly through this backwater solar system and she and her crew had been trying their damndest to shoot down the pilot.

"We keep hailing them but they won't respond," announced one of the Chief's crew, a black, blue and silver crow-like, male Corvidii named Livo. "And it doesn't matter what we throw at them, they're able to execute perfect evasive maneuvers." He growled, his beak clicking together in an irritated fashion. "Chief Naver, this guy is ticking me off!"

"This is definitely an Irken pilot," another member of the hunting party chimed in. She was a tall, swan-like member of the Gruid tribe and she was colored light pink, pastel yellow and white. Her name was Sahn. "I hate to admit it, but they're some of the best pilots in the galaxy. And from what I can see, this one is an ace."

"Ace pilot or not, they must either be destroyed or captured," Naver remarked. "We haven't been able to shoot them down so we have to resort to the next course of action." She turned to her faithful pilot. "Sahn, activate the tractor beam. Bring them into the hangar bay. That spittle runner is small enough where we can pull it off."

"You got it, Chief," she responded to her superior.

"Livo, hail the other search parties," Naver instructed the other member of her crew. "Tell them we're attempting to bring in a prisoner. We will attempt to interrogate them and see if they know anything about where the wretched Tallests ran off to."

Sahn did as her leader commanded and activated the beam. The colorful Yuti female smiled impishly as she saw the enemy vessel slow down. They were decelerating, hinting that they had been caught. Sahn maintained a tight grip on control panel's joystick, directing the spittle runner into her own ship's hangar.

Naver stood up and left her seat. Her bright green feathers fluffed up and then flattened a few seconds later. Her iron-tipped beak clicked quietly and she flexed her talons. Like her beak, they too were covered in sharp, iron caps. She had shred and maimed many opponents with those deadly weapons over the years.

"Sahn, focus on keeping that tractor beam locked onto our target," she instructed. "Make sure that scum doesn't try to escape. Livo, help Sahn out with whatever she needs and monitor the communications systems. I'm going down to the hangar to see this scum myself."

"You don't want one of us to come with you?" Livo asked. "Just in case, Chief. They may try something sly."

"I'm more than capable of holding my own." The smallest but strongest of the three Yuti puffed up slightly. "If it really is an Irken piloting that ship, I'll have a wonderful time plucking those unsightly eyes out of their head."

Livo and Sahn wouldn't argue with her further. They knew better. While they were honored to be led by her, both of them didn't dare to push her unnecessarily. They didn't want to question her prowess. Any Yuti knew that unless if they were vying for the chiefdom of their respective tribe, it was most unwise to doubt the skills and might of their chief. The only one whom the four chiefs themselves bowed to, feared and respected was the War-king or War-queen.

"Do your duties," Naver said, ending the conversation. "Do not interfere. This one is mine."

"Yes, Chief Naver," Sahn and Livo said in unison.

Naver flapped her wings, her small, stocky form lifting off the floor below. Then she flew out of the control bridge. The automatic doors parted and she glided through the halls and corridors, making her way to the hangar bay.

Overall, Naver hated and distrusted the Irken race. She believed they had no honor and were beyond greedy and reasoning. In her eyes, they needed to be eradicated so they couldn't poison and ruin the universe any further than they already had. When the Resisty came to Yutus, seeking their help and alliance in fighting the Irken Empire, Naver was more than happy to aid them. She believed that they were a bit scatterbrained and unorganized but she wouldn't turn them away.

The only Irken she respected was the one who had conquered her homeworld. Naver discovered that Lyn was an Invader while she was incognito and she even willingly aided the Irken female in conquering the planet. The only reason why she had done this was so she could overthrow the reigning War-queen, Kalix. Naver loathed Kalix and they were bitters rivals for many years even before the Irken Empire discovered Planet Yutus. All Naver wanted was to see Kalix dethroned and slain. Lyn had succeeded in killing the War-queen in single combat and initially Naver was appeased. Naver disliked the thought of being subservient to the Irken Empire but since Lyn had proved her superiority over Kalix, she acknowledged her as the new, unofficial War-queen.

Naver once thought that Lyn's leaders, the Almighty Tallest, must've been proud and worthy figureheads and she was eager to meet them. As the leaders of the Irken Empire, they must've been forces to be reckoned with. At one point, she might've been honored to be in service to them. If they were mightier warriors than the likes of Kalix and Lyn, she would happily bow to them. But when the moment of truth came, Naver was insulted, disappointed and disgusted. In her eyes, they were disgraces and didn't deserve the power they wielded. She didn't dare to tell Lyn these things however and simmered in angry silence.

Then came the day of Lyn's breaking with the Empire. Naver was beyond overjoyed. She was thankful that Lyn had done this and was more than willing to stand by her side. Many of the citizens of Yutus were also pleased with this development and happily joined with the Invader that had initially enslaved them. With the coming of the Resisty, it was even more fortuitous for them. It gave them brighter hope in dismantling their foes.

"Revenge will be mine, will be ours," she muttered to herself. The entrance to the hangar bay was dead ahead.

When she finally made it before the doors, they parted. Naver alighted quietly onto the metal floor. She looked ahead, seeing that Sahn was doing her job well; the ship was still restrained by the tractor beam. The Irken vessel sat in the hangar, looking vulnerable.

Slowly, Naver walked towards the captured vehicle. Her tipped talons clicked and clacked on the floor beneath her. Her keen gaze didn't turn away from the ship, knowing there was indeed another, living creature in there. There was no way it was on autopilot. No computer could twist and evade her vessel like it had. There was a sharp, organic mind behind its control.

"I suggest you come forth quietly and accept your circumstances," she announced, finally stopping about ten feet away from the ship. "Now that we finally have you, you're not leaving. Consider yourself a prisoner."

It was a little surprising but not entirely unexpected. Naver braced herself when she could see the circular, glass windshield start to open up. The glass was tinted, forbidding her from peering in at the occupant. The Chief of the Sittaci held her ground, not fearing anything in the slightest bit.

When she saw the pilot climb out of their vehicle, that was when Naver was truly astonished. Her eyes widened and she let out a defensive squawk. Instinctually, her wings flapped and her feathers fluffed out, making herself look bigger.

"We've been looking for you, Tallest Red!" she snarled.

"I'm in need of a ship," the Tallest said. "This one will do just fine. And do I know you, shorty?"

"How dare you insult me! This is one of the reasons why so many of your own species betrayed you!"

"I'm in a bad mood, bird brain. Get out of my way or drop dead."

"Never."

The two rulers stared each other down. Red eyes locked onto dark brown ones, neither refusing to look away. The Irken reared himself up to his full height and the Yuti spread her wings and clicked her beak.

"You've suddenly developed a spine," Naver taunted. "Whatever coaxed the cowardly Tallest out of hiding?"

"I needed some time to think," Red retorted. "But I'm back and I'm not going anywhere. This is my Empire and I'm not going to let some upstart, lowly creature like you tear it apart."

"The universe has had enough of you and your kind. You poison and ruin everything you touch and your time has run out."

"Big talk for someone so short and fluffy."

"And that is why you'll be dead!"

Naver unleashed a shrill shriek and lunged forwards, her talons outstretched and ready to lacerate her foe. She descended upon her larger enemy, not afraid of anything and more than willing to kill him if it came down to it.

Earlier, she was willing to interrogate and imprison the enemy. But now that she saw who this pilot truly was, she would give him no mercy. This was the perfect chance. This was why she and the other search parties went out to begin with. If the Tallest wouldn't come to them, they would hunt them down.

Red activated his PAK limbs, deflecting the talons with two of the appendages. With a third leg, he roughly swatted the Yuti chief away, sending her skidding across the ground. The Tallest skittered over towards her temporarily immobile ship, intending to finish her off while she was stunned.

As he was about to impale her with one of the mechanical limbs, Naver sprung up and flew past the side of his head. When she bypassed him narrowly, she managed to slash along the side of his face with one of her talons. She cackled as she heard him cry out in pain and a bloodlust was awoken in her when she saw blood begin to pour from his lacerated cheek.

"You are unworthy of your power!" she said.

Naver took advantage of his momentary weakness and latched her beak onto his PAK. She applied pressure to it and began to pull, threatening to crush it or rip it off his spine. The Sittaci warrior held fast and tugged at the vital technology, intending to deal a deadly blow as soon as possible.

Seconds after she tried this, an electrical shock raced through her body, making it twitch violently. Her hold on the PAK was released and the discharge immediately ceased. Unceremoniously, Naver collapsed to the ground with small wisps of smoke radiating from her body.

Red wiped the blood from his face, ignoring it and trying to keep it out of his eyes. He hatefully glared at the immobilized form of Naver and he shuddered quietly. His PAK was equipped with all sorts of features and even weapons he could utilize if it came down to it. The discharge of electricity was one such perk and was a defense mechanism against anyone who tried to physically remove this essential and necessary technology.

"You should know your place, filthy bird beast!" he snarled.

He held his ground, on guard not wanting to risk getting to close and be dealt another wound. It had been so long since he had last bled and it was a bizarre sensation. The Irken would let her make her move and then attack from there.

"You should remember me," Naver said. She shakily stood back up, her body weakened from the jolt of electricity. Her head hung lowly. "But if you don't then I will make you remember right up until the instant I tear your throat out! I'm not finished with you!"

"What can you do?" Red smirked cruelly. "You have those tipped talons and that sharp beak. But that's it. You're too primitive. All of your kind are!"

"I would rather be uncivilized and have my dignity and honor intact rather than be civilized and putrid like you and your race. We Yuti don't need to be overdeveloped like your kind. At least we don't grow our children in giant tubes and judge others based on their size. Our dignity is intact."

"Yawn!" The Tallest cackled and still smiled wickedly despite the fact his cheek was a ruined, bloody mess. "Then come and hit me with your best shot!"

Naver began to pace slowly. There was a slight limp in her step and she clearly looked drained from the electrical shock but she refused to back down. Surrender was out of the question. The fight wasn't done yet.

Red remained still, his limbs outstretched and ready to intercept whatever attack she had in mind. While he specialized in being a pilot and was considered one of the best in the Empire before he was made Tallest, as an Elite, he was trained in a variety of skills and combat techniques. He was rather skilled in melee combat and he was quick on his feet. By no means was he a pushover when it came down to a physical fight.

He recalled the days when he and Purple were both Elites and striving to be the best. There was indeed a rivalry between them and the two of them were always pushing each other’s boundaries, testing one another. Constantly, they tested each other, forcing their counterpart to bring out their very best. They had many spars and each had tasted loss, victory or draws. While they battled, they were merciless with each other. They sought to outdo, outmaneuver and outsmart their opponent.

But in the very end of it, after the duel and the outcome was clear, they were laughing and eating together. It would almost be as if they hadn't been trying to tear their friend's arm off only a few minutes earlier. They had literally been together from the very start of their lives. There was no way they were going to change that anytime soon. It was the very first thing they knew before anything else. It was even before their PAKs had downloaded the mandatory knowledge mere minutes after they were born.

Focus. He had to focus. He couldn't let nostalgia distract him no matter how much it made him feel better. The enemy was still in front of him. The enemy still wanted to kill him.

Naver could read her opponent well and she made the attack first. The bird creature knew that mentally, he was distracted. She was going to take full advantage of that. She lunged, flapping her wings and quickly closing the gap between herself and the Tallest.

Red flinched momentarily but his resolve swiftly returned. He raised one of his gauntleted hands and a long, sharp, jagged blade shot out from within it. The Tallest drew his hidden wrist blade and thrust his arm towards his opponent.

Within a mere fraction of a second, he could feel Naver's cruel beak clamp down on his blade. Her talons locked onto his arm, anchoring herself to him. Red grunted at the feeling of her claws effortlessly slicing through his flesh and piercing his musculature. As her hold on him lingered, she could feel the tips of her talons scraping against his bone. Her small size enabled her to latch onto him easily and stubbornly.

"Get off of me!" he howled.

In reckless abandon he flailed his arm about, trying to get her off. Naver held fast to him and he knew she wasn't going to willingly let go until she viciously mangled his limb. Her wings beat at his head, trying to blind him and keep his vision obscured as he tried to fight her off. Now blood was pouring from his right cheek and his left forearm. He attempted to punch and claw at her head, trying to pry the fierce Yuti warrior off of him. Despite it, she held fast to him, refusing to let go. Instead, she dug her talons deeper into his arm. The sound of her iron tipped beak grating against his wrist blade sang in the air, causing him to cringe at the sound.

Then he remembered. He had another trick up his sleeve.

His other wrist blade unsheathed audibly and he thrust his free arm into Naver's unprotected side.

For the first few moments, Naver still held fast. Her wings stopped beating and her talons still dug into him but didn't go deeper. Her beak was still latched onto the blade, trying to bite through it. Her tiny form shuddered but she didn't let go.

Red pulled the blade from within her side, bright red blood coating the weapon along its entire length. With a cry, he plunged it into her again. Then again. And again.

When she was stabbed a seventh time, Naver finally released Red. Her body twitched and shuddered and she curled up on the ground. A pool of blood began to rapidly spread out from her shape, almost looking like an ominous, liquid aura. She heaved laboriously, her strength rapidly leaving her.

Red collapsed to his knees, clutching his shredded arm. His wrist blades retracted and he observed the damage. He could definitely see she had sliced him down to the bone. Bits of his green flesh clung loosely and he could clearly see his muscular tissue. Undoubtedly, it was going to leave an unsightly, permanent scar. Eventually, it would heal and fade somewhat but it was never going to disappear completely. Irken medicine could only do so much with something this grisly.

"You've defeated me," Naver managed to choke out. "How could I lose to you?"

"You should be proud, pipsqueak," Red snarled. "I'm gonna be carrying this wound around for the rest of my life. How can you even speak?! You should be dead!"

Naver tried to lift her head up but she was too weak to even do that. She only lain in the crimson puddle, defeated and dishonored.

"Put me out of my misery," she said. "Are you above giving me a warrior's death?"

"I ought to let you bleed to death," he seethed. "You're not worth it. I ought to throw you out the airlock and let space finish you off."

The proud chief's eyes became harder to keep open. She willed herself to stay awake, not wanting to succumb to her wounds while she was unconscious. Naver didn't want to pass away like that.

Red's attention was drawn from her when he heard the sound of beating wings. His antennae flattened against the back of his head and he spun around. He unsheathed both wrist blades, ready to fight again.

He could see two of Naver's fellow Yuti flying over to her side. They seemed to totally disregard him and instead were invested on their commander. Both of them knelt at her side and the male Yuti gathered the critically wounded chief to his chest.

"This ship is mine now," Red announced. "I suggest you take an escape pod and get out of here. Do it or you'll end up even worse than your superior."

The tall female Yuti looked to him. Her light amber eyes stared back at him as she observed him in silence for a few moments.

"Nice to know you're still alive, scum," she said, her eyes narrowing into slits. "We watched your fight with Chief Naver on the security camera. We couldn't let her die by your hand. I'll happily give the ship to you if we have a chance at saving our Chief's life."

"I doubt it." Red gave her a wicked, toothy grin. "She's already lost a lot of blood. You better hurry if you want to save your beloved leader."

"Stop fighting with him, Sahn," Livo scolded his companion. "Let's take the escape pod and go. We have to try to save her."

Sahn gave the victorious but wounded Tallest a baleful glare. She then turned her back on him and hustled off with Livo. She admired Naver more than she hated the Irken leader.

"Tell your fake War-queen that Almighty Tallest Red is back!" he yelled at them while they continued to retreat. "Tell her that I'm not gonna stop until I make her pay for what she did with her very life!"

Chapter Text

Chapter 13 To Know the Enemy

(somewhere deep in space – Resisty medical freighter)

A month had happened since the initial attack. The patient was unconscious for days and was kept within a highly quarantined and sterile environment. Their whole form was burnt terribly all over and they also sustained injuries from being roughly tossed against the wall in the midst of the explosion. In the very beginning, the prognosis was quite grim and it was expected that the patient wouldn't survive the extensive, disfiguring burns.

The explosion was intense and the room they were in was completely scorched and even partially melted in some areas. It was determined that the prisoner being kept in the room for questioning had rigged her own PAK with a powerful explosive mechanism. Her self-destruction was meant to take her jailer with her. It was a miracle that the patient had even survived in all honesty. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on whom you asked, the Irken race was very hardy and stubborn one.

But the medical team worked long and hard on stabilizing their patient. With the influx of Irken rebels defecting to the Resisty's cause and supplementing their ranks, it worked as an advantage. While disgruntled service drones, disgraced soldiers and other rejected individuals joined the Resisty, there were also some medical personnel that were included in that mixture. Despite the fact that the Irken race was primarily a militaristic one, they also had some rather talented physicians and doctors. It was their role to patch up soldiers as quickly but efficiently as possible and send them back out to the front lines and fulfill their duties.

The medical drones provided round the clock care to their patient, doing whatever they could to enable her survival. They kept her under a medically induced coma for a few days as they tried to keep her pain down to minimal levels and keep her quiet and cooperative. Her already damaged PAK was singed and fried some components due to the intense heat, theoretically causing even more damage. A few technicians were called in to work on the worsening technology, wanting to stabilize and save what they could. There wasn't much that could be done.

When her condition was upgraded from critical to serious, she was taken out of her coma. They expected her to experience some possible memory loss or confusion. But they weren't predicting her to remember everything up until the moment she became unconscious. They also didn't think she would be so calm about the aftermath. As a matter of fact, it even unnerved the medical staff.

Lard Nar was caught off guard by the female Irken Lyn had captured. All he knew about the situation was that Lyn led a raiding party to one of the Empire's military training worlds and they managed to obtain a prisoner in the chaos. He was told she was going to be interrogated and that was it. He hadn't foreseen that the Invader named Dez would resort to a tactic like suicide bombing. He knew that Lyn was wanted dead by the Empire but he had no idea one of their Invaders would try a move like this. In his eyes, it spelled desperation on their part.

Now Lyn was deemed safe enough to leave her quarantined cell. She no longer ran the risk of being so susceptible to outside contaminants. It would be the first time in over a month that he would see her. The Vortian heard from those who had seen her that she looked awful. Some claimed she didn't even look like an Irken anymore.

Quietly, he waited for her. He was waiting in one of the freighter's snack bars, having previously agreed to meet her and have some food. They still needed to discuss matters. There still was a war going on.

Lard Nar lifted his head up when he heard some slow but sure footfalls come towards his direction. When he looked up, he could see a tall, thin figure come closer to his table. She was dressed entirely in white, light, hospital robes. They hung loosely on her body to reduce the pressure of the cloth against her disfigured shape. Her blue eyes were a few shades paler now and from what he had heard, she went blind in the immediate aftermath of the explosion. While one of her antennae was intact and the other was a jagged fragment before this incident, she had lost both of them now. Both had burnt away. Her skin was mottled, discolored and gruesomely covered in permanent scars from the burning. Even with the medical team's diligence, they could only do so much.

As soon as he saw the true extent of the incident on her, Lard Nar lost his appetite. There was no way he could eat now.

"Hello, Lard Nar," she greeted him.

"Lyn," he said, trying not to stare at her too intensely, "it's, uh, nice to see you're walking around. You're lucky you're alive. A lot of us thought you weren't going to make it."

"I refuse to die."

Lyn took her time in sitting down in a seat across from him. She winced at the action, even something as simple as this put pressure on her flesh and caused her pain.

"Didn't the doctors prescribe you pain killers?" the Vortian wondered.

"I don't need them," she replied shortly.

He wasn't going to push it. He very much caught onto the hostile edge creeping into her tone.

"How are your eyes?" he asked. "I've heard Irkens can regrow some of their ocular tissue."

"I can see again," Lyn said. "But my vision isn't what it used to be. It's never going to be one hundred percent better again. The damage to them was bad."

"That's unfortunate. But at least you're alive." He offered her his bag of chips, not intending to eat them anymore. "Here, are you hungry?"

"Thank you."

Slowly, she reached out and grabbed them. Then she opened up the bag and helped herself to a single chip.

"How goes the effort?" she asked.

"We're still alive, right?" Lard Nar chuckled. "We're doing alright. We're still waiting to hear back from the search parties."

"The universe is a big place. But you had multiple search parties and they were spread out all over. Sooner or later, you will find one of them, I promise you. They can't remain hidden forever. Even they know it. And they're tall so you can't miss them."

"The doctors recommend you should at least have another week of bed rest so you can heal as much as possible. They feel you being out on the battlefield and leading soldiers will make the recovery process that much more difficult."

"I can walk so I'm not useless. I know I need my rest. The fire didn't get my vocal cords so I can at least speak and command those under my leadership."

"You should heed me, Commander Lyn." He smiled softly, displaying his sharp fangs. "I know a thing or two. I was one of Almighty Tallest Miyuki's entourage members before her untimely demise."

Lyn blinked and her marred eyes pinned on Lard Nar. If she had her antennae, they would've been pricked up in intrigue.

"I didn't know that," she said, sounding genuinely interested.

"I served as one of the main engineers for the Massive's construction," he explained. "She made me her Chief Engineer." His smile remained. "I still have the medal that she gave me for my service. She…she was the best Irken I ever met."

"Almighty Miyuki would've never allowed this mess to happen."

"You're right. She would've never so carelessly conquered worlds like those two clowns. She was far smarter than them and the Empire was known for much more than what it is now. I still can't believe she's gone. I was there when it happened. It…it wasn't pretty."

"Not a lot of planets were conquered during Miyuki's reign. But she made the Empire better by strengthening and taking care of what we had. Miyuki was also more lenient on smaller Irken. She knew their shortness was beyond their control so she was more merciful towards them. She sought to make us stronger just not by adding more territory to our Empire." A tiny, genuine smile shown on her face. It had been over a month since she had last smiled. "You're lucky you were so close to her. I never met her."

It truly was almost a stark contrast. Miyuki was wise, calculating, cerebral and thoughtful. She wasn't remembered as a ruthless conqueror but if pushed far enough, she was stern and wouldn't hesitate to strike if needed. The Irken Empire experienced a golden age during her tenure as Tallest. Advances in the technical and medical fields were made and it seemed as if all of Irken society was accepting of her policies and leadership. Every Irken seemed to prosper under her from the lowliest service drone to the mightiest general.

There was no telling what Almighty Spork would've done. But what was known was that he was of a different mold than his predecessor. He didn't even make it past his first day as being Tallest. Lard Nar almost wished he had survived. Perhaps things somehow would've been better.

Then there were the two barbarians. They reaped the riches and prosperity of Miyuki's reign and abused it. The new, young, upstart Tallests were eager to conquer, destroy and have the entirety of the universe under their control. They sought to outdo the number of planets Tallests Hrawl and Gavi had acquired during their respective reigns that were conquered centuries before Miyuki's time. Everyone and everything was a target in their eyes. Every planet and race was fair game. They saw enemies everywhere and sought to eliminate them as they deemed them threats to their reign.

Thanks to their wanton carelessness and insatiable greed, they made more than enough enemies already. Even within their own race, they made foes. In Lard Nar's eyes, this was a long brewing revolt. Miyuki merely delayed the inevitable. Purple and Red blew the flood gates apart with an atomic warhead.

"If things go our way," Lyn said, "the position of Tallest will be abolished. No longer will the leader of our race be chosen simply because they happen to be vertically gifted."

"The most important thing is to get rid of them," Lard Nar nodded. "I couldn't agree more. They won't ever negotiate or compromise. Besides, they betrayed me and my people. I will give them no forgiveness."

"Good. I'm glad." Slowly, she continued to eat the chips. It even hurt to stick her fingers into the bag and grab a handful. "Also, it's painfully clear to me at this point…"

"Yes?"

"We shouldn't even be bothering to interrogate prisoners anymore. We shouldn't take them for that matter. We should only rely on our spies and saboteurs to get jobs done."

"You're saying that we should kill every Irken we engage in combat?"

"Yes."

"I must disagree."

Lyn stopped chewing. Her damaged eyes looked back at him. They were blank but he could see that she wanted answers.

"We had this discussion before," he said. "Prisoners have their use. We could even recruit some of them."

"Look at me!" she raised her voice loudly. She slammed her palm on the table, smashing the chips she held in it. "Look what a prisoner did to me. We knew each other our whole lives and she did this to me. She almost killed me but I will not die that easily. I'm not kicking the bucket until I see both Tallests destroyed!"

"You have to remain calm, Lyn, you're still weak."

"I am calm!"

Lard Nar's gaze was torn away from her when he saw a small Irken bolting over to his table. He was grateful for this distraction.

"Sir," the tiny creature saluted him, "I have some news from one of the search parties."

"Yes, what is it?" the Vortian leader pressed, leaning closer to the Irken rebel.

"The searching party lead by Chief Naver of Yutus was attacked. They lost their ship and they had to flee in an escape pod. Naver fought the attacker but she was brutally wounded. She's in critical condition and she lost a lot of blood, her crew members don't think she's going to survive. They patched up her wounds the best they could."

"Who got the best of Naver?" Lyn demanded. Even more ire seeped into her tone. "Who are they?!"

"Almighty Tallest Red, Commander Lyn!" The cadet cringed in fright at the wrath of the taller Irken. "He's back! He beat Naver and her crew came in and saved her before he could finish her off!"

Lyn remained totally still and silent as they news fully sunk in. But then her body began to tremble in anger. Her eyes were narrowed into hostile slits.

Without warning, she let out a rage filled scream and flipped the table over in one swift motion of power. Lard Nar jumped to the side, avoiding being hit. The cadet yelped and dashed a few meters away, keeping his distance from her.

"You!" Lyn pointed at the cadet. "Tell me where Naver and her crew are heading! I must speak with them!"

"U-uh, it's the Happy Nebula Clinic!" the terrified rebel revealed. "It's the medical station closest to their position! It's by planet Scrungus in the Cheese Asteroid Belt!"

"Then that's where I'm going!"

Lard Nar wasn't going to stop her. And he wasn't going to let anyone else do that either. The last thing he needed was her piling up bodies if folks tried to stop her from going out. It just wasn't worth it.

Lyn stormed off, walking away as if her entire body wasn't covered in burns. The small Irken still quivered like a leaf in a windstorm.

"If he's back then we have to step up our game," Lard Nar addressed the cadet. "Tallest Purple can't be too far behind if that's the case. Good man, alert the Resisty fleet about this update! We all have to be ready. The Tallest is back for revenge."

(…)

Of course, he'd have to have a whole melted candy bar and a few tablespoons of chocolate syrup in his drink. Your teeth hurt as you watched him create the chocolatey, boozy mess. It was pure sin but you weren't going to argue with him. Oh, no, it was past the point of no return at this point. You knew it was going to be a lost cause.

While he had that bastardization of an alcoholic drink, you poured yourself a glass of shiraz. It was simple but the deep, red wine was more than enough for you. A glass or two would be perfect.

You took a sip of your drink then placed more tinder and brittle, dry sticks into the fireplace. The fire was slowly building up and within a few more minutes, you hoped it would be roaring and warm. You just wanted to relax, decompress and listen to what he had to say. Hopefully, the night would go according to plan and you'd have less questions for once.

As you carefully set a larger log onto the growing fire to feed it, you suddenly felt a little wary. There was going to be a toasty fire, mellowing wine and…a dude from outer space. Suddenly, you felt like you were reenacting a scene from some lame, cheesy romance movie. The warmth in your cheeks wasn't from the dancing flames.

You shook your head in disbelief and had another swig of wine. It totally wasn't like that. And you sure as heck wasn't going to be making out with him on the couch at the end of the night. And you definitely weren't going to wake up in his arms the next morning. The thought alone was vomit inducing.

NO. You had to be out of your mind. You had to stop overthinking things and shut your mind up. Freakishly tall, selfish, piggish, green slobs were definitely not your type.

"You know, I like the fire," he said as he walked in.

"Good, I'm glad," you answered, looking over your shoulder.

"It's pretty primitive but it's so cozy warm and I end up falling asleep on the couch in no time."

"I hear ya. The fireplace has a tendency to do that. Bambi and Baby like to sleep in front of it too. They'll probably do that tonight."

Purple took a few gulps of his drink. He hummed happily at the taste and took his seat on the couch. His antennae wiggled subtly in satisfaction.

You took another minute or two to monitor and feed the growing flames. As far as you were concerned, you wanted to tend it as little as possible. You didn't want any interruptions during this conversation. Once your rear touched the cushion beneath you, you planned on staying there for as long as possible.

"I appreciate you telling me this," you remarked. You backed away from the fireplace but didn't join him on the couch yet. For a few moments, you watched the orange flames flare up and start to consume the wood you placed. "I'm insatiably curious whenever it comes down to things like this. You have to understand that any sane person would have so many questions."

"Earth is so isolated and out of the way," Purple added. "It's funny, your planet is located on the edge of known Irken space. Our astronomers theorized your world was there but they weren't one hundred percent sure." He chuckled. "So, I guess it makes sense that you're so curious."

"I always suspected that there was something out there. It would be statistically impossible if we were the only source of intelligent life in the universe. I just never guessed in a million years that I'd have an alien in my living room."

"Funny how that happens, huh? Now, get over here! You're lucky I'm in a chatty mood!"

You didn't need to be told twice.

You parked yourself in your spot. You gave him a foot or two of space, restricting yourself more than him. The last time he got drunk, he was sniffing and running his fingers through your hair. God only knew what might happen this second time.

"Alright," you said, taking another sip of your wine, "I'm all ears."

"It's kind of a long story but here it goes I guess," he started.

Purple found himself staring into the fireplace for a few seconds. His eyes softened as he gazed into the orange and yellow flames. He could feel himself drift off and feel nostalgic as he observed them.

"It all happened a long time ago," he began. He turned to face you. "We Irken are grown in tubes. When our gestation is complete, we are hatched and are given our PAKs moments after we are born. Red and I were hatched at the same time. I think our gestation cells were right next to each other. We're from the same batch or generation of smeets. Believe it or not, Zim is the same age as we are too. Lyn and Pax were also included in our generation."

You remembered him talking about these two individuals before. But you would allow him to finish. You wouldn't interrupt or question him just yet.

"From the instant Red and I were born, we were kept under close watch since we were born larger and taller than typical smeets," he said, smirking away. He tilted his head back and finished half of his drink. "Even from the very beginning, the taller individuals are kept under close tabs since they have the potential to become future Tallests."

"So, you and Red were like princes?" you stated. You still found it hard to wrap around your head that leadership was equivalent to height in their society.

"If you wanna put it like that, yeah," Purple smiled. "That's why we were monitored as we grew up. Even Almighty Miyuki herself would sometimes drop by to check on us!"

Maybe this Tallest Miyuki woman he mentioned earlier was something like a mother figure to him. His kind had no concept of family but you found it highly unlikely that they were always grown in tubes. You had a sneaking suspicion that once upon a time, they reproduced themselves through more natural, albeit more vulgar means. Perhaps him admiring Miyuki so much was some suppressed, remnant from a bygone era.

"So not all Irken are created equal, even from the moment they're born," you deduced.

"Oh, absolutely not!" Purple laughed. "The shortest, smallest runts of our batch were Zim and Skoodge. Sometimes, some smeets are hatched small then go through massive growth spurts and end up tall. Other times, they come out small and stay small. No one can control it. All smeets are created by the Control Brains."

That sounded a bit ominous.

"Control Brains?" you repeated.

"Giant, super sophisticated computers," Purple explained. "They create smeets and also encode them in the future, sealing their fates and giving them their lifelong occupations."

"They sound terrifying."

"Yeah, they're creepy. But anyway! Red and I were the tallest of our generation right off the bat, princes of the smeets…" He laughed again and took another swig of his beverage. "There were a few other smeets who were tall but of course they were shorter than us! Lyn and Pax were some of those lower but still impressive plebs."

"And if I remember correctly, Lyn is the traitor and Pax is Red's dead girlfriend."

"Girlfriend…? Uh, yeah, I guess." He rubbed the back of his head and looked uncomfortable for the briefest second.

"Tell me more about the traitor. She's the one who is responsible for this mess. I didn't forget what you and Zim were talking about a month earlier."

"Believe it or not, she was normal when she was a smeet. I never could've guessed she'd cause all this mess. Lyn was quiet and a bit soft but that didn't necessarily mean she was a defective just yet."

"So, you knew her even before this war happened?"

"Yeah." He drank again. "Kind scary when you think about it. I remember her saying she wanted to work as a smeetery drone but as she got older, it became pretty obvious really quickly she was soldier material. You see, Irken don't typically choose their jobs. Red and I didn't choose to become the Tallest. He was a pilot and fleet commander and I was an Elite soldier before we were crowned. Lyn did well with combat simulations when she was a smeet and the Control Brains deemed she would become a soldier. She did her mandatory military training, graduated to an Elite and then from there, she became an Invader."

"So that's how the monster was created. How'd she get the way she is now?"

"It took awhile for that to happen. First, you have to understand that the PAK is directly connected to our brains. It keeps us alive, serves as a multipurpose tool and has a whole bunch of other neat features to it. But in Lyn's case, it was her curse. If a PAK is damaged enough, it can malfunction and cause a bunch of glitches and…unsavory side effects. Like making someone crazy. The first planet she conquered was a success. She took it over and subdued the natives. But something happened and she was never the same after that. She was attacked by one of the planet's inhabitants and she was caught off guard. They landed a blow onto her PAK, causing some damage to it. It wasn't fatal but from that point on, it caused a series of…problems. She became hostile and hot blooded. She got angry easily and she was no longer as calm as she used to be. Her loyalty to the Empire remained but that was the only thing that was normal with her. The Control Brains turned a blind eye to her status and deemed she was still functional and effective so long as she did her job and kept serving as an Invader. Lyn went off to conquer another planet. And then another. She was successful those times too but the way she subdued those worlds was brutal even in my eyes. She would challenge the leaders of those worlds to single combat after remaining undercover for awhile. Back in training, she was an expert in hand to hand combat and she preferred to fight that way more than anything else. It's not so smart when you have a PAK." He shrugged and took another drink. "Luck wasn't on her side either and she sustained more damage to her PAK, making her predicament worse. Multiple technicians tried to work on her PAK and try to reverse some of the damage but she would almost kill them. She refused to let anyone touch her."

"So she started to go insane."

Warily, you eyed up his own PAK. You had no idea this alien Swiss army knife was so deadly but so vulnerable at the same time. Honestly, you didn't like that device and hearing about this made it even more disagreeable in your eyes. It was more of a liability and weakness than a strength in your opinion. But that would be for another time.

"You're right," the Tallest nodded. "She was losing it. Then it got super weird… She became obsessed with proving her worth to Red and I. We both were Tallests at this point." He sighed and rubbed the back of his head. His antennae flattened against his cranium. "Red was always a bit popular with the opposite sex. He even had some attention from our sex too. He had his admirers and adoring fans. He dismissed everyone and thought they were all gross, creepy or weird. But there was this one female he actually liked. She was a technician who specialized in maintaining and optimizing the systems of the Control Brains themselves. That was Pax. From what I remember, Lyn and Pax were the same height when they were hatched. But as they both grew up, Pax ended up being the taller one. Lyn hated that so much."

His purple eyes turned away from your face. The Irken ruler looked into the fire again. You could tell his mind was running a mile a minute. There was so much on it but you wouldn't snap him out of it. You could tell that Purple was preoccupied with his recollections.

"But yeah, Red ended up becoming really interested in Pax," he finally resumed. "She seemed into him too and boy, it was the most awkward thing ever when I found out about it." He chuckled nervously. "You see, it's not normal for us to become so…obsessed with each other. Other species would say that they were in love or courting. And they were. Red could definitely be considered a defective for it and so could Pax. But because they were tall and important, the Control Brains let it go. Usually, defectives are culled. They're executed and seen as weaknesses that could be detrimental to the welfare of the Empire."

"You're not allowed to fall in love?" you asked. The notion was so jarring and bizarre.

"It's an undesirable trait. It's considered to be a vestigial, leftover trait from our past. Our species did indeed have more gross origins before the smeeteries became a thing."

"So Red technically deserves to be culled for something as stupid as that." You drank more from your glass. "Christ on a trike. That's pathetic."

"As it turned out, Lyn always had a thing for Red but she never told anyone. She always kept it to herself, fearing she'd be labeled as a defective. But as her damaged PAK became more corrupted, she could care less anymore. One day, she fessed up and told Red what she thought." He shook his head and almost polished off his entire glass in one hearty gulp. "I had to sit through that. It was painful… He denied her. Red told her that he had zero interest in her. Lyn was beside herself. Then she found out he was courting Pax. That incident made her straight up insane. She couldn't understand why he didn't want her. She didn't understand why he chose a technician over a warrior and conqueror who gave him a few planets."

You could only dream how that whole denial went about exactly. You weren't even there but you got secondhand embarrassment simply from trying to imagine that scenario. Some shred of you felt bad for Lyn but if Red didn't like her, then that was it… He already had someone from the sound of it. Lyn was late to the game and wasn't his type.

"She couldn't take it," you said. "It just made it even worse."

"She continued to do her missions, trying her hardest to impress him and win him over," he said. "She was so sure that she could sway him over in some way. The way she dealt with her enemies got more…filthy. Even by typical Irken standards, it was a bit much. The last planet where she was sent to conquer, Yutus, had a female ruler. She was called the War-queen and Lyn challenged the warrior bird lady to single combat. The War-queen accepted the challenge but Lyn killed her. She took her feathers and turned them into a headdress and she contacted us while wearing those feathers. Red could care less and he still preferred Pax over her. She offered him the best warriors the conquered planet had to offer and he dismissed her. After Yutus…" He frowned heavily. "She saw she wasn't going to win and get what she wanted. One day, when Pax was alone, Lyn attacked her and viciously killed her. She tore her to pieces and took her both of her antenna as trophies. She had them gilded and turned into bracelets to wear as a trophy and her greatest achievement."

"Wow. That's one woman who couldn't handle being rejected. Some female Earthlings are like that too."

"But Lyn wasn't done yet. After she killed Pax, she vanished. Red ordered to have Lyn executed for killing a taller Irken that was part of a Tallest's staff but she was nowhere to be found. About two months after the act, she was spotted with Resisty forces. They were destroying vital snack stockpiles. They had no idea of their location and it was revealed Lyn sided with them. She betrayed us and sent a message to us after the sabotage. She swore revenge and said she would no longer serve the Irken Empire. Now, she worked to destroy it. She called all defectives and rebels to side with her and the Resisty. The Empire was plunged into a civil war as soldiers loyal to Red and I fought against the ones who no longer wanted to serve our cause or wanted us dead. With her betrayal and all the other traitors who joined her, things turned very bad for us very quickly. They had inside information, vital information and they used that against us." His expression turned angered and dour. "Because of her, I had to run away! Because of her, the Empire is being destroyed!"

So that was the truth behind this madness. He had to run away because some green chick couldn't handle rejection. She was mentally unhinged and a trained killer which didn't make things any easier. And she managed to rally many other Irkens who were probably like her to her cause? Maybe Purple wasn't such a wimp for running off after all. This Lyn wasn't going to stop until she had her revenge. For Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. You've never even met her but you had to admit, you weren't so keen on meeting her either.

"Thank you," you said. Genuinely, you were grateful for knowing the truth. The conversation was truly enlightening and you were happy to know about how it all came to be. "It's all been on my mind for a bit."

"You only know about this because you are not disappearing from my life anytime soon," he retorted sternly. "You must understand what is happening. Lyn is crazy and ruthless and she won't stop until Red and I are killed. There may come a day where you might see her with your own eyes."

"I sincerely hope not."

"You think she cares? Too bad."

"Well…now what? How long are you going to hide out on Earth exactly?"

"I don't know."

"What if she comes here?"

The thought made you shudder. You didn't want her to find out you had been sheltering one of her mortal foes. That woman would certainly filet you and your animals.

"She most likely doesn't even know about Earth," Purple said. "Besides, everyone knows about Zim and his antics. Zim is another story altogether but I'll condense it for you. He's a menace and he ruins everything. We won't ask for his help in fighting the Resisty because he'd be the death of us all. That's why I told him to safeguard the planet. I don't want him interfering and end up inadvertently allowing the rebels and traitors to win."

"Is Zim a defective too?"

"Without a doubt!"

"How common are defectives in your society?"

Purple scoffed and folded his arms across his chest.

"More than I'd ever guessed!" he answered. "Too many! This has to be the worst generation ever produced!" Then he looked guilty and insecure. "Maybe I'm a defective too!"

"As far as I'm concerned, you having a best friend isn't something that makes you a defective," you commented. "Piss on that notion. Everyone needs a friend."

"Really?"

"Yes! I find it really unlikely that anyone can be that emotionally stunted. I'm sorry but that's not normal. Affection… No, feeling, is perfectly normal."

"Huh…"

Both of you polished off your respective drinks. Ever the refined gentleman, Purple belched loudly.

"More?" you asked.

"More," he replied, nodding and giggling quietly.

"I couldn't agree more."

He snorted and tilted his head back, laughing away. It was starting to affect him now.

"You know, I think I want to try what you had," you said. "I'm usually a little more health conscious but screw it. You really only do live once."

"Oh, Human, just have some!" he said, getting up to refill his glass. "You won't regret it!"

(a few hours and several drinks later)

"Show me the way to go home, I'm tired and I want to go to bed! I had a little drink about an hour ago and it went right to my head. Wherever I may roam, on land or sea or foam, you can always hear me singing this song! Show me the way to go home!"

The concept of personal space you once tried to observe earlier was thrown out the window. Now you found yourself swaying back and forth on the couch, singing along to the same song on repeat for the past half an hour. Your arm was stretched out across his shoulders and one of his arms was doing the same with you. The both of you sang together, rocking back and forth and absolutely shitfaced, not caring at all.

"See…?" Purple slurred. "See?! Your singing ain't bad! But it's not as good as mine!"

"Oh, are you so sure?" you laughed.

"Yeah! If I wasn't Tallest, I'd still be a soldier! But if I wasn't a soldier, I'd wanna be a rock star! And I'd have smoke machines everywhere! And no lasers! None at all!"

"I'll be sure to go to every single one of your concerts…and make sure I have five pounds of cotton in my eyes! I mean ears!"

"Cheeky Earth woman!"

You squealed loudly when you felt him actually tickle your exposed side. You then started laughing and you drunkenly fumbled about, trying to get away but failing.

"Take that back!" he demanded but he was laughing alongside you.

"I will because I don't wanna end up pissing on you!" you cried. "Okay, I'm-I'm sorry! Cut it out!"

He did just that. Purple released you and let his arms hang loosely at his side. He groaned loudly and leaned back against the couch.

"I'm sleeping here tonight," he said.

"God, I don't think I can make it to my bed tonight," you said as you took another sip of that sugary concoction he was drinking all night. It was actually good. But you were probably gonna end up with mega cavities in the morning. "I'm gonna fall up the stairs and kill myself."

"Don't do that!"

"I'll sleep by the fire, I've done it before."

"No!"

"Well, what?! I'm not passing out in the kitchen or cellar!"

"You're so dense!"

"Pardon me? What then?!"

"There's room on the couch!"

"Not with your rail-ass on it!"

"I'm not fat!"

"I never said you were! There's not enough room for two people!"

"Try me!"

His arms lassoed around you, holding you close to his torso. Then he pulled you down with him. Purple rest on his side and he lowered his head to look back at you. Your foreheads rested against each other and he gave you a large, toothy grin.

"I told you!" he chuckled. "Plenty of room!"

You couldn't say anything. All you could do was stare back at him with huge, widened eyes. Your face was as red as a tomato and hotter than the sun itself. He really was this stupid and was totally ignorant of Human customs.

"Are…" you stammered. "Are you sure?"

"I'm comfy and I'm not getting up," he said. "Besides, you smell nice and Earthlings are so warm and soft. Stupid Zim, he did a horrible job on reporting about your race! He knows nothing!”

"O-okay. Right. I think I snore."

"So do I."

You had to admit, although he didn't look like it, he was pretty cozy. The longer you settled in and remained on the couch with him, the less inclined you were to leave. It was way too comfy and you were too drunk to care anymore. The fireplace was still going and it exuded an undeniable air of peace and comfort. Your bed was totally out of the question tonight.

"Okay," you said. You relaxed and gave him a small smile. "Thanks for the invitation."

"Don't mention it," he brushed it off. "Just stay here until I wake up, okay?"

"I think I can do that."

"Good."

He yawned and rested his chin on the top of your head. You suppressed a spray of laughter when you could've sworn you heard him purring…or something. Maybe you were imagining things. But you definitely heard him snuffle into your hair and rub his face into it. At least he wasn't eating nachos earlier or you would've killed him right then and there.

He was three sheets to the wind and so were you. That was the logical explanation for everything. In the morning, everything would be normal again. God, you hoped so. You couldn’t afford to get attached to this fool.

You were so warm and comfortable that you found yourself drifting off rather quickly. There was a warm, tingly sensation in the pit of your stomach but you blamed that on the alcohol. All that you knew was that everything felt good and you told yourself to enjoy the night and take it easy.

The same song was repeating but it was the least of your concerns. You shut your eyes and focused on the warmth and the arms around you.

"…wherever I may roam, on land or sea or foam, you can always hear me singing this song. Show me the way to go home."

Chapter Text

Chapter 14 Conflicting Emotions

(…)

When you felt yourself stirring and waking up, you almost felt like you were starting overheat. On top of that, your head ached something terrible. It was something like someone beat your skull in repeatedly. You felt like you were underwater and it hurt to even think. You felt weak and drained and you were half tempted to keep your eyes shut and go back to sleep. You just had to try to stop this pounding headache.

Without even opening up your eyes, you could tell right off the bat that you were hungover. And from what you could make of it already, it was going to be one monster of a hangover. Immediately, you could see this was going to be a hell of a drag. The day sucked the moment you stirred.

You let out a long, low groan and finally managed to open your eyes. You parted your eyelids slowly and laboriously and even something like that was pure drudgery. As you stirred and tried to shake yourself awake, you felt increasingly dizzy. You felt like you were probably going to collapse if you stood up. Or maybe even hurl if you were lucky enough.

When your eyes slowly began to open up more and more, you suddenly realized why you felt so uncomfortably hot earlier. Your eyes flashed open widely once the reality hit you. You swiftly remembered everything. The fog inside your mind began to dissipate almost instantly. It was quite the wakeup call.

God only knew how many hours went by since you passed out on the couch. Two days could've passed for all you knew. But you were atapped up in the arms of your otherworldly guest and he still looked like he was sleeping away.

And the cherry on top of the shit sundae? His whole face somehow ended up nestled into your cleavage.

Your cheeks felt like magma spewed from the belly of the Earth itself. Your face was undoubtedly redder than any memorialized rose. Embarrassment filled every single nook and cranny of your being. You found yourself frozen in shock and scandal but yet at the same time, you just wanted to scream at the top of your lungs and flail about like a hooked fish. You wanted nothing more than to spontaneously combust, be reduced to ash and get swept away by the wind where no one would ever be able to see you again.

"Get out of my boobs, you pervert!" you managed to cry out.

You tried to pry yourself out of his grasp but you failed and rolled off the couch. Since Purple still held you so closely and securely, he ended up getting pulled off alongside you. It didn't make matters any better when he landed on top of you and his face was still pushed into your chest.

"Get off!" you squealed, still attempting to wrestle yourself free from his grasp.

You fidgeted and squirmed underneath him. The whole situation was so sexual in your mind and it was freaking you out more and more. You just wanted him off of you and out of your bosom.

"What's going on?!" the Tallest demanded, finally getting snapped out of his deep slumber.

Almost instantly, he snapped to attention. Apparently, he was far more adept and capable of shrugging off a hangover. You had to admit, it was probably the one Irken trait that you legitimately envied.

He rolled off of you and stood up, looking around. His large eyes scanned the area, trying to locate some enemy. His Elite training was kicking in and rising to the surface in this hectic moment. He was ready for anything to lash out and attack and yet he couldn't find any threat. Instead of a foe, all he heard was the exasperated and grumpy sounds of an Earth woman.

"Why are you screaming?!" he asked, sounding a bit panicked.

"You're in my tits!" you annunciated.

"Your what..?"

"Breasts! Boobs! Knockers! Bosom! Mammary glands, whatever! Why was your face in my boobs?!"

Purple looked completely and utterly confused by your rantings and ravings. He rubbed at his eyes, still trying to fully wake up. His antennae were pricked upwards, showing off his befuddlement and inability to process your concerns.

"…they were comfy…?" He offered as a half hearted answer. "I, uh… I don't remember putting my face in them."

"Why do you sound so confused and sound like you're guessing?"

"Because I don't know how that happened. I was knocked out the whole time! You woke me up!"

"You woke me up because I was too hot! I realized it was because of you!"

"Clearly, I was drawn to them even when I wasn't fully conscious." He seemed unfazed and scratched the back of his head. "They must've been awfully soft and cozy. In fact, they look like pillows!"

"No, they're not! They're used for nursing young, not for cranial comfort!"

"Hey, it's a compliment! Your chest must be wonderful!"

"Oh my God, shut up! You're making this worse!"

You folded your arms across your chest, trying to hide it from him. Your face still burned with the intensity of a million suns. While you were still fumbling, trying to calm yourself down from this incident, you were still internally reeling from how you ended up in his arms. You remembered drinking too much and not being able to make it to bed. Did you really sleep with him on the couch until now? How was that even possible?

"How much do you remember from last night?" you asked.

"Oh, everything," he retorted, sitting back up on the couch and stretching his arms out. He opened up his mouth and let out a yawn.

"Everything…? What does everything entail?"

"We talked, we had some drinks, we sang a lot of songs together and had some fun!" He smiled.

"What do you mean by 'fun'?"

"Are you okay?"

"…I don't know."

"I remember everything. Irken don't get…overhangs."

"Hangovers."

"Yeah, whatever, same thing. I can drink a lot and all I need is some sleep and I'm fine."

"Well, aren't you so superior and high and mighty… Now, fun. What did you mean by it?"

"Chill out!"

"Purple! What happened?!"

He rolled his eyes and threw you an annoyed glare. His antennae flattened against the back of his head.

"We sang songs, had drinks and we enjoyed each other's company," he retorted. His tone sounded almost offended. "What, you're not allowed to have some fun?"

"No, no, that's not the point!" you said, shaking your head. Your headache was becoming worse. "Look, I'm sorry. I just want to make sure I didn't do something I regretted… Humans sometimes don't remember what they did after they had too much alcohol. We sometimes do very stupid things."

"What could you have done then?"

"I don't know!"

"Then stop screaming and calm down."

Right. It seemed like the tables had turned this time.

"Oh, God, I feel like a tank ran over my head," you whined. "I'm so happy I'm off today. I'd be royally screwed if I had to work."

Carefully, you stood up. Momentarily, you thought you were going to ungracefully collapse but you managed to keep yourself erect. The room seemed to spin around you and you felt spread thin and weak.

"How much did I drink?" you asked.

"You had two glasses of your wine and three glasses of the mixture I made for myself," he answered. "I told you I had good taste. You agreed with me by making yourself the same thing I kept drinking."

Okay. You didn't feel sore at all aside from your head. Your clothes were still on your body in the same way you were pretty sure you left them before you decided to chug alcohol like an idiot. There was no way you could've done anything particularly notable with him. Even with you being as overcome as you were, you surely would've remembered. And you're pretty sure you would've stopped yourself from being too stupid. Or at least, you hoped you would. You didn't want to ruin your life even more.

"Do you regret last night?" you pushed, wanting to make sure everything was truly right and as normal as it could possibly be.

"I almost wish I did because of how you are now," he said with a snide edge to his voice.

"Purple, look…"

You floundered about. You didn't want to accuse him of anything. Oh, God, there was no way you wanted to do that right now. But the method of how you exactly ended up in such a close position with him pestered you. It didn't feel right. Yet it seemed like it was innocent enough. He liked your smell and he loved how soft and warm your kind was. It almost seemed like he was fascinated by your species.

He wasn't Human. He was from a wholly different species so he couldn't understand the things that made you insecure and wary. They didn't even know what love and closeness was. He was this emotionally stunted and shriveled creature. Nothing could've happened because he couldn't ever experience it to begin with.

You were wasting your time. This was beyond stupid.

"Never mind, I'm shutting up," you resigned.

"That's a good idea," he smiled. "Don't overthink anything, okay? Your head might actually explode if you try it."

"That's pretty sound advice actually."

"Come up here and sit with me."

Even a harmless invitation like that made you feel wary and reluctant. But you mentally reminded yourself to get over it. You couldn't afford to work yourself up and make yourself even sicker. Most likely, you really were overreacting with this whole deal.

Numbly, you plopped down beside him and leaned back into the couch.

"What time is it?" you asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"Twelve twenty," Purple revealed.

"Damn."

"Irken don't really need sleep too much but we require it sometimes. I can't even remember the last time I slept so long and so well!"

He smiled brightly and turned on "The Mini Fishwife" for what felt like the sixty eighth time. Then he crossed his legs, subtly bobbing his left foot as he lounged back and got comfy.

"So, in addition to me being part of this so-called personal entourage, you're telling me you're gonna turn me into your personal pillow now too?" you asked, having a sinking feeling with what was on his mind.

"I wasn't implying that earlier but now I think I want to!" He cackled. "That's a great idea!"

Damn you and your thoughts.

"Maybe I should just shut up," you muttered. "I keep getting myself in more trouble."

"Trouble?" Purple snorted. "No!"

"Yes."

"No, no, no." He clicked his long, segmented tongue. "You have some pretty good ideas, Human! I'm glad my ship crashed here. Couldn't have picked a better spot on this planet!"

If he wasn't a complete piece of shit, maybe it would've touched you. But you saw you were betraying yourself when you could feel a fluttering in your belly. You found yourself smiling shyly and you turned away, trying to hide the flush in your cheeks. This was something you couldn't suppress and so easily stop.

Dear Lord, you were turning into a wreck. You couldn't have been this desperate for closeness and compliments. He was a terrible person and a tyrant at that. He ran off because so many of his subjects wanted him dead. He was also only being so close because he didn't understand Human affection, cues and gestures. The only reason why he did those things was because you somehow appealed to him. As he even said, as a default, Irken were supposed to not be so soft and loving. It was artificially culled out of them. It was an undesirable, weak trait in their eyes.

And yet it all made no sense. His co-Tallest and the murdered Irken lady were in a romantic relationship. The traitor turned on her Empire when she was spurned and denied. These individuals were clearly able to understand these more complicated and deeper sensations. They were indeed defectives according to the definition Purple gave to you and all that he described to you last night. Maybe he was right. Maybe all or a good portion of the members of his generation were defective. Maybe there many other of these deviancies.

You couldn't become attached. There was no way that this could happen. He was merely a guest and that was that. Eventually, he was going to leave and return to that starry expanse from whence he came. Sooner or later, it was going to happen.

And yet, he already was planning your own future out for you? Not only that, he was still planning on annexing the Earth into the Empire. Even after he'd officially leave, it seemed like you were going with him. Last time you checked, you had a life and responsibilities. You had a nice, peaceful job that you legitimately enjoyed. You had your pets you loved and your life was a quiet one.

Right now, it was just too much for you. You only wanted to turn your brain off and stop thinking. You'd have to mull this over when your head didn't feel like it was about to explode at any moment.

"We're watching this again?" you asked.

"Yes," he replied with a smile. "This is my favorite Earth film."

"What's your favorite part?"

"When the prince harpoons the squid sorceress. And every single song."

"To be honest, my favorite part was the ending. She got her legs and she got her man."

"…I guess I liked that part too."

You could've sworn you could see his cheeks turn a darker shade of green. He looked away from you and hastily focused his attention on the television screen.

Good. He could suffer with you.

(…)

"Agent Mothman, this is most disappointing."

Dib literally had no idea what to say, think or do. All he could do was stare at his computer screen, wide eyed and in a state of total disbelief and shock.

"No, no, no, no, you gotta believe me!" the large headed boy yelled. He grabbed the levitating monitor that displayed the silhouetted, somewhat intimidating figure of one of his fellow Swollen Eyeball members. "I was working on this for a month! I had the pictures, I had the evidence! It was all right there! Darkbootie, you know I wouldn't lie about this! I can't explain what happened!"

"How convenient…" the older man droned. "You accepted this case and yet you have no results to show."

"Maybe the government hacked into my computer or something! I don't know, I can't explain it! Please, you have to believe me!"

"Shut up, Dib!" Gaz yelled from the adjacent room. "Your stupid noise fills me with fury the likes of which you can't even begin to comprehend!"

Dib could hardly pay attention to the all too ominous and real threats of his younger sibling. Instead, all he could do was ponder and dwell over how this happened. He had compiled all of his photographs and findings into a presentation he was intending to show to his fellow investigators. He even placed the finishing touches on the project last night. Everything was ship shape and perfect. Maybe it was the finest and most informative one he came up with yet.

Now it was gone. It was totally erased from his computer's hard drive like it never even existed. His work was ruined and lost.

"Agent Mothman," Darkbootie said in a warning tone, "if this persists, perhaps we will ban you from our society."

"After all that I've done and contributed?!" Dib blurted out. "No, please, you can't!" He shook the monitor and rested his forehead against the screen. "You have to believe me, the Irken threat is very real! They're coming to Earth and I think they're going to start finally paying attention to us for real now! We have to stop them before the whole Armada shows up!"

"And yet we have no evidence! How can we take this claim so seriously without concrete facts?"

"My word should be more than enough at this point! I saw the Irken emblem! One of them landed on Earth and they're blending in with the rest of humanity! Who knows how many more of them are out there!"

"Then call me back when you have your evidence. Recover your files or do whatever else you need to prove to me and the other members of the Swollen Eyeball Network of these claims. I'm quite disappointed, Agent Mothman. Darkbootie out."

Dib was crestfallen. He hung his head low and released his grasp on the monitor. He slumped into his chair, feeling hopelessly belittled and defeated. It was beyond infuriating and totally unfair.

The Irken threat was very real and present on Earth. The Swollen Eyeball organization had yet to validate the existence and claim of Zim being an actual alien. If they weren't going to believe that, then they weren't going to heed Dib's theory of a coming invasion. To him, it seemed like no one was ever going to fully believe his claims. Getting anyone to believe that the green-skinned "kid" in his class was a bloodthirsty Invader was already difficult enough.

"Awww, what's the matter, Dib?"

Dib's heart skipped a few beats when he heard the taunting but all too familiar voice. His eyes flashed open and he turned his attention to the monitor Darkbootie was displayed on only a minute or two earlier.

"Zim!" Dib growled, his hands balling up into fists.

"I'm sorry, Dib, did I call at a bad time?" Zim meanly taunted him.

"Go away, you jerk!"

"Did something happen to those precious pictures of yours?"

"You did something with them, didn't you?! Ugh, I should've known you would've done this!"

"I didn't think some simple spy software would cause you so much grief!"

"You stole or deleted my files and made me look like a moron in front of my colleagues! Zim, you better watch your back the next time I see you!"

"Don't worry, Dib-Thing, everything is under control."

"Not while I can help it!"

"No, seriously, you don't get it."

"Get what?"

"MY MISSION! My precious mission has been changed! Be happy for I have been instructed to not destroy the Earth!"

Now Dib was befuddled. He wasn't expecting to hear those words come from Zim's mouth. That sounded almost too good to be true. It had to be a trick of some sort. First, he sabotaged his findings on the Red Leaf crash and now he was making this wild claim.

"You're lying!" Dib accused.

"My Tallest has commanded me to protect the planet for now," said Zim. "He has seen potential in your puny planet and he doesn't want it destroyed by outside forces."

"You're talking like only one of them has commanded that. I know you have two Almighty Tallests, Zim! What's going on here?"

"Be quiet! Do not interrupt Zim! My Tallest has spoken! I am now the guardian of Earth until further notice!"

"That's my job!"

"Well, uh, too bad! It's mine now!"

"It is my job, you moron!"

"LIES!"

"Why does your leader want you protect Earth all of a sudden?"

"Pig-Monkey, you must understand there are complicated matters that are occurring as we speak. There is a war waging out in the universe and Earth must be protected. The Tallest now see that the planet is useful and they don't want their enemies to destroy it!"

If that was true, then that was very, very interesting… Definitely unexpected and something Dib couldn't have predicted. Time and time again, he foiled Zim's attempts at eradicating the Human race. He fought him repeatedly and Dib caught himself acknowledging that this was probably going to be a lifelong struggle.

And now, all of a sudden, Zim was actively working to protect this world? This was way too fishy.

"I don't believe it!" Dib said, crossing his arms. "Either way, I'm going to keep a close eye on you. I'll never trust you, Zim!"

"Well, uh, I don't know what to tell you." Zim scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat. "That's my new mission and there's nothing you can do about it. Get used to it, Human! That's what my Tallest has decreed! You should be very thankful!"

"Why exactly did the Tallest decide to preserve Earth? At least tell me that!"

"Fine, I suppose I can tell you that. There's nothing you can do about it anyway. The Tallest have realized the snacking potential of your foods, Dib. Be thankful and honored! They think you have some of the finest snacks in the universe!"

"…you can't be serious."

"I am very serious! Too bad!"

"Tell me this, Zim! What do you know about the Irken scum who landed on Earth over a month ago?!"

"Oh, I don't know what you're talking about!"

"You're obviously lying! If you were using spyware to view and delete my photos, you had to have known! You're hiding something! I know you!"

"As I've said, don't worry about it, Dib…" Zim smile wickedly. "Consider yourself out of a job as of now!"

He let out a spray of evil laughter and his image on the screen started to fizzle out. Dib only glared back at the screen, his stare scrutinizing and skeptical. There was something terribly wrong. One way or another, he would get down to the bottom of this. There was no way that this reassignment of sorts could be true. He wouldn't let his guard down.

(…)

"Sir, we have an unidentified ship hailing us… Should we patch it through?"

Rarl Kove rubbed his chin. He stared at the temporarily blank screen, knowing that the call was waiting to be displayed on his command. Truly, he was curious. It was totally possible it was a Resisty ship given that it was an unknown vessel. If a Resisty held ship was attempting to establish communication, what could they possible want? It was either to barter or to set a trap. Either way, he was curious and he wanted to know.

"Yes, yes, put them through," he said to the pilot who previously addressed him. "Let's see who wants to speak with us, shall we?"

Admittedly, Rarl liked this power. With the absence of Almighty Tallests Red and Purple, he was granted temporary leadership of the Empire. The younger, spry leaders of the intergalactic superpower still had a lot to learn and at times, the advisor felt frustrated by their doings. Rarl would never admit it to anyone but he personally thought the two emperors were idiots. He thought it was a miracle that they weren't killed during their younger years. In fact, the first time he met them was shortly after they were hatched.

He was older than them and had initially started his career under Almighty Miyuki's reign. It was per her request that he remain on the personal staff of future Tallests for as long as possible. Luckily, Red and Purple decided to include him in their entourage and he stuck around as per his late Tallest's wishes. Many times, he expected them to relieve him of his services but they saw he had value since he served under Miyuki. Both Tallests revered the female leader and sought to keep him in their entourage because of that. Despite their brash natures, they valued him for his experience and age. They admired his experience and connections more than anything else.

Rarl idly sipped from his cup full of soda. He leaned back in his seat, his legs kicking back and forth as he sat in the oversized chair that was once occupied by one of the Tallests. It was awfully comfortable and it did make him feel taller.

When the connection between the unknown party was finally established, a few collective gasps rang out through the control bridge. Those who didn't gasp could only stare at the display screen in stunned silence. All of those huge, bright, colorful eyes were glued to the huge visor, gazing back at the face that was displayed on it. Some of those aboard the bridge even wondered if this individual was ever going to return.

As soon as Rarl saw a pair of red colored eyes staring back at him, he sputtered. He choked on his soda and coughed and wretched, trying to clear his airways.

"Get out of my chair!" Red barked.

"Y-yes, my Tallest!" Rarl gagged.

"Almighty Tallest Red rocks!" a random technician cried out, showing his joy at the return of his leader. "Welcome back, sir!"

A tiny smile spread across his face. It felt good to be acknowledged this way.

"Thank you, random drone," he said. Then his smile abruptly melted away and he fixed his gaze on Rarl Kove. "You're no longer in command. Thanks for keeping my seat warm for me but I'm officially back."

Rarl wasn't going to argue with his Tallest. There was no way that he was a traitor like all the other defectives that swelled the ranks of the Resisty. He couldn't and wouldn't challenge him. And even if he did something like that, he knew he would lose horribly. He was no warrior. Administrative duties were his forte. There was a reason why he flunked basic military training during his younger years.

"Of course, my Tallest," Rarl conceded.

He wiggled his antennae in salute to Red in order to appease and placate him. Right away, he could tell that the Tallest was in a rather grumpy mood. Not only that, there was a huge, unsightly wound on his face that was crudely dressed. He wasn't going to discuss that. There was no way that he was going to invoke his wrath. Rarl may have had seniority and experience but he was still liable to be terminated. The Tallests still held his life in the balance and they could order his execution on a whim if need be.

"Send me the Massive's coordinates," Red instructed. "As of now, I am resuming my duties and I'm returning to the Armada."

"It is a pure delight to have you back, my Tallest," Rarl said. "We have been eagerly anticipating your inevitable arrival! However, I must ask, what news do you have of Almighty Purple?"

"None. But when I make it back to the Massive, I plan on trying to contact him. It's best for him to keep his head low until I arrive."

"Of course. We're greatly anticipating your arrival, sir. We've sorely missed you. We're honored you've returned from your exile."

"The enemy knows I've returned as well so I have to make it to the Massive as soon as possible. The ship I've confiscated is good enough for now but multiple targets will be harder for me to evade in this vessel."

"Then allow us to meet you halfway, sir. It is imperative that you come back to us safe and sound. Give us your position and we will travel to meet you as you come closer to us."

"Sounds good. Have some of your finest medical drones onboard ready for my arrival. I have several wounds that need tending to."

"Absolutely, sir."

"Let's keep communication down to a minimum. The enemy knows I hijacked one of their ships so they're probably even more ready to take it back. I already overrode the tracking systems so it'll be harder for them to hunt me down."

"I understand. We hope to see you soon, my Tallest."

Red said no more and cut the transmission.

Cheering erupted from the control bridge as those aboard it gleefully celebrated at the return of one of their leaders. Antennae were wiggling and individuals were hooting happily. Their morale was boosted upon seeing him alive and well. Now that he was making his way to rejoin the Armada, they reveled in the hopes that the war would end that much quicker. With his return, the Resisty would tremble and crumble. Perhaps with the return of their other, beloved Tallest, the enemy would stand no chance…

Rarl folded his hands behind his back. He watched as the pilots received the coordinates from their Tallest and gave the Massive's position in return. Two years had passed since he had last seen the Tallest. He saw he didn't necessarily miss either of the brats. Now that one of them was back, he was afraid. He had no idea what two years of exile and hiding had done to them. He wouldn't know until he met them and that's what bothered him.

One was inbound. The other was unaccounted for. Perhaps Almighty Tallest Purple had flown into a roiling sun or was devoured by savage aliens. He almost hoped that was the case.

Chapter Text

Chapter 15 Of Courtship

(three days later)

As much as Purple wanted to ignore the call from Zim, he knew it was a bad idea. The longer he ignored him and wanted to pretend as if he wasn't on the same planet as the Invader, the more dire the repercussions would become. Zim was too persistent for his own good and he knew the smaller Irken wouldn't stop calling him until he finally got through. He would receive no reprieve or peace until the zealous defective got his attention.

Currently, he was busy trying to play some video games. He growled quietly as he tried to hastily captured a command post in his game but it was increasingly hard to do so as his communications line continued to make its alarm. It just made it that much harder to focus on the objective. His concentration was suffering badly.

"Zim, I will deep fry your eyes and smother them in chocolate sauce when I get my hands on you," he snarled.

His upper lip twitched when he was unceremoniously killed and then his slayer began to teabag his virtual corpse. Purple seethed at the immature antic and slammed the controller on the ground. It bounced three feet off the ground and then settled on the carpeted floor. Luckily, he hadn't busted it to pieces in his rage just yet.

Zim continued to page him. Purple let out a frustrated yell, spooking both Baby and Bambi.

A tiny hole opened up on his PAK and a miniature monitor popped out of it. The screen was static for a few seconds but Purple opened up his line. The image of a very pleased and smug looking Zim was displayed on the screen, further befouling the Tallest's mood. It automatically made him angrier.

"WHAT?!" he roared at the monitor. "I'M BUSY, ZIM!"

"I'm so happy you answered, my Tallest!" Zim said cheerfully. He was completely blind to his leader's bad attitude.

"This better be good, Zim! What do you want?!"

"My Tallest, I just wanted to inform you that the Dib has been foiled! I used some spyware to infiltrate his computer and I confiscated all the photos he took of the crash site. Now no one will believe his claims that your ship crashed there!"

Some of his anger dissipated when he heard those words come out his trap. That actually was good news. Zim did exactly as he asked and covered his tracks. He pulled the plug on the freakish child's operation and denied him. It only assured his continued, secretive tenure on the planet.

"Uh, well, good job, Zim!" Purple said, feeling a little unusual with actually praising him. "Nice one."

"Thank you, sir!" Zim saluted him. "Anything for you! Also, I've done some digging on where the hideous pig-monkeys have taken your ship! They took it to a top secret fortress called Area 51!"

"Yeah, I'm aware of that."

"Shall I seize your shuttle for you, my Tallest? It would be an honor and pleasure to free it from the filthy, stinky hands of the Human beasts!"

"Not yet. And besides, I want to do it myself. It's my ship and it's my responsibility. Besides, I can't risk you destroying it."

"Sir, how long do you plan on staying on Earth?"

"As long as I think it's necessary."

"Can I ask you one more question?"

"You might as well…" Purple rolled his eyes and reached for his plate of donuts. He smiled and bit into a chocolate frosted one with colorful sprinkles. "Oh, yeah..!"

"What is it like living with an Earthling? I do hope you've been washing your skin frequently, my Tallest! They are dirty creatures!"

Purple was about to take a second bite but he dropped his donut back onto the plate. He swallowed the first mouthful he had and leered at Zim. His stare was suspicious and a bit peeved.

"We actually have something to discuss about Humans, Zim," he said, crossing his arms. "Your reports are all wrong! You lied to me about them!"

Inwardly, Purple smirked at the all too visible panic that shown on Zim's face. He could tell that the Invader suddenly looked antsy and anxious. He even averted eye contact with the screen.

"You must be studying a very small sample of Earthlings," Purple continued to lecture him. "You overwhelmingly reported that they were ugly, stinky and stupid. I have to challenge your findings!"

"Forgive me, my Tallest!" Zim said, his eyes looking larger than usual. He folded his hands together and stared pitifully back at Purple. "Don't be too mad at me, I beg you!"

"I may possibly forgive that oversight because you never personally resided alongside an Earthling in their home for a length of time."

"I have been close to Humans but not too close, sir. The females of the species are perhaps the most confusing and infuriating! What are they like?"

That wasn't a question he was fully prepared to address. Purple was half tempted to dance around the subject but he knew Zim would never shut up about it. Truthfully, he wasn't sure how to respond. It was a bit of an awkward subject and the Tallest didn't want Zim to jump to any wild conclusions or bright ideas that could turn around and bite him in the ass.

"Well, they smell nice," Purple admitted.

"They do?" Zim asked, sounding genuinely confused. "All of the Humans I've had the misfortune of being in contact with smell of rotting dooky!"

"Their hair is soft, fun and colorful. Their bodies are comfy and toasty. Most of them are far taller than many Irken we know. Those things on their chests…" He leaned back into the couch and folded his hands behind his head. He felt more at ease and relaxed as he described his observations. "I forget what they're called… Breests? Bubz? Whatever! They're more comfortable than any pillow in the universe!"

"Hmmm! I never would've guessed, my Tallest! Very interesting!" Zim rested a hand on his chin and looked like he was thinking something over. "So, you've been very close to the Human, sir… I would be very careful! The female may want to mate with you if you are too close for too long!"

Purple almost threw himself out of his comfortable seat as soon as he heard those words. He quickly sat upwards, his motion jerky. His eyes grew enormously and his jaw dropped, not expecting that coming from Zim at all. He only stared back at the visor, at a total loss for words and floundering internally for some sort of response.

"I have done a little research on Earthling mating rituals," Zim continued, wanting to enlighten his leader more. "It sometimes varies from female to female but if they're too close to a male they're not related to for too long, they sometimes develop intense feelings of attraction. They try to use their…filthy, tricky ways to ensnare the unfortunate male of their choosing!"

"Right…" Purple said quietly. He finally found his voice and was able to recover from the initial shock. "And what are these signs of female courtship?"

"I used to believe it was acts of violence and unbearable pain but that was before I discovered it was the doing of Tak!" He shuddered unhappily at the memory. "So many burns… But from what I have noticed, there are slight variances with every female Human. Hot cheeks or blushing is a sign of affection. She may also cling to you incessantly and annoy you to no end! That is how the female will stake her claim and chase others of her kind away from her unfortunate male victim!"

"Does she eat his head in the end of it all?" Purple suddenly felt quite worried and insecure. He certainly hoped you wouldn't do that to him. "I don't like the sound of where this is going…"

"No, my Tallest. She mates with him in the hopes of making smaller versions of herself! Disgusting! But such a process is not uncommon for there are other repulsive species that do the same thing to repopulate as well! Thankfully, we Irken have no need for such primitive methods!"

Speaking of hot cheeks, Purple felt like he was starting to overheat out of nowhere. His PAK suddenly seemed like it was an unbearable weight on his back. He could feel his body fluids flush and make his whole frame get uncomfortably warm. Nervously, he bit his lower lip. The longer he was listening to Zim talk about these supposed Human mating rituals, the more unsettled he became.

"You know what, why am I even listening to you to begin with?!" he blurted, flustered beyond belief. "Your observations are probably wrong again, Zim!" Zim only shrugged and Purple groaned in frustration. "I have to go, my soda is on fire!"

"Beware the female, my Tallest!" Zim warned. "She will want you soon!"

Purple hastily cut the transmission and let out a sigh of relief. There was no way he could bear listening to Zim anymore. He spoke of madness and he was a proven defective. He knew nothing and as such, he didn't need to listen to him. But it still chewed away at him, making him nervous and wary.

Nervously, he looked around the living room. Bambi was chewing on one of his toys but acknowledged Purple with a few friendly wags of his tail. Baby was rolled over onto her side, napping and completely uncaring towards Zim and Purple's previous exchange. Everything looked alright and there was neither hide nor hair of you. Your shift was due to end for another few more hours. He had to be discreet and take advantage of this silence and solitude while he had the opportunity.

"I need to do some research on this matter," he said to himself. "I can't trust Zim. I have to look into it for myself."

He shut off the gaming console and switched to the regular television channels. This was probably going to be the grossest thing he'd ever see but he had to learn.

(a few hours later)

When you didn't hear his favorite movie playing in the background, that was what concerned you. Instead, what you heard made you freeze in your tracks instantly.

There was some sleazy sounding music playing from inside your house. You also heard some breathy, incoherent voices coming from your TV. When you didn't hear the voices, you heard some very suggestive and intimate noises. What also freaked you out was how loud this was being played. You could hear it a few feet away from behind the closed door.

The hair on the back of your neck stood up and you had a sinking feeling of what exactly he was watching. You were frozen in disbelief and shock, having a hard time believing it had literally come down to this. He was actually watching these things on your television.

You regained a grip on yourself and walked up the stairs, hastily unlocking your door. You had to see this with your own eyes. It was either happening or your mind was in the gutter and you were going crazy.

When you stepped in, he was completely blind and deaf to your entrance. Purple was sitting on the couch, a blanket wrapped around his entire body and a sea of chip and cookie bags were spread out all over the floor. Bambi was busy eating a small pile of potato chips that the Tallest had either didn't want or had totally forgotten about. His eyes were wide and totally devoted to the lewd acts that were playing on the TV. It looked like he hadn't blinked in hours. To you, he almost seemed like he was inanimate.

"Hey, Purple..?" you said nervously.

You got no response.

You walked closer. When you did that, you ended up stepping on an empty pretzel bag. That got his attention instantly.

As soon as he looked in the direction where the noise came from, he spotted you. When he saw you, he let out a high pitched scream.

It scared the shit out of you and you ended up screaming alongside him. Purple hastily turned the TV off and chucked the clicker all the way back into the kitchen, creating a loud crash a few seconds later as it landed on the floor, most likely in a million pieces.

"What're you doing?!" you demanded.

"NOTHING!" he answered a little too loudly. "Nothing at all! Normal Earth TV shows! Totally boring and not kinky!"

…did that word seriously just come out of his mouth?

"Purple, were you watching what I think you were watching?" you asked, knowing full well what was going on.

"Pft, no!" he lied horribly. "I was watching one of those soap operas and it was an episode about a pizza man who delivered pizza to a female with huge bubz that had their own gravitational pull! But she had no money and offered to pay him another way and…!"

"No more!" You blushed something fierce and struggled to get the mental image out of your head. "Don't tell me any more about it!"

You stared back at him and he did the same with you. He was like a deer caught in the headlights of an eighteen wheeler. You were a bit freaked out by the fact he discovered this specific genre of film and even more curious as to why he even bothered to check it out. At the very least, you had to figure it out and try to answer any questions he had…and lay out some ground rules about playing porn so loudly.

"So…" You said, taking a seat on the couch. You hoped to God above that your couch wasn't soaked in any mysterious wet stains. "How'd you find out about this…uh, genre?"

"Zim told me you wanted to mate with me!" he blurted out.

WHAT?

"I'm sorry?" you asked, your face overheating already. "He told you what now?"

"Why are you blushing?" he countered.

"Because I caught you watching that stuff in my house! And it wasn't very discreet either!"

"Zim said to watch out because he said you wanted to mate with me! I needed to investigate Earthling mating customs and rituals to try to understand what he meant exactly!"

"Right, uh, well, that's not a very accurate representation of Human courtship. That's one of the last places you wanna look to for that."

"But do you want to mate with me?"

Fuck, this was beyond awkward. But you couldn't afford to stall or delay an answer. That would also give off the wrong impression and that was the last thing you needed.

"No!" you retorted. "I don't think it would work that way anyway! I'm a Human and you're an Irken! I'm sure your…equipment is probably too incompatible with my, uh, assets. Besides, don't listen to what Zim has to stay! His info is wrong I'm sure!"

"Okay," he nodded. "Right." He smiled in a strained manner and let out an anxious chuckle. "So, you say this isn't a real example of mating customs?"

"Look, other Earthlings made this sort of things because we are very…weird creatures. It, uh, excites us. It's a fantasy, not reality."

"Right… But that's where Human smeets come from? I didn't realize mating could be so violent and loud with your kind."

He was so innocent about the whole subject. He truly looked confused and shocked. It was a weird twist to see him so unsure and anxious about the matter.

"If I ever see Zim again, I'll be sure to punt his scrawny ass half way across the planet," you muttered. "What an idiot."

"I understand why you reacted the way you did the other day," he said. He threw the blanket off of his frame, no longer feeling so vulnerable and nervous. "I didn't realize those things on your chest are so sensitive and intimate. You see, females of my race don't have them and many other alien species don't too so I was confused and…"

"It's okay. Don't worry about it too much, alright?" You gave him a tiny smile, trying to calm him down and let him know it was all good. "I can forgive you for not knowing these things. It's not a big deal. I know I can overreact sometimes."

"Thanks." He let out a sigh of relief and forced himself to settle and not freak out too much. You weren't screaming and yelling so it made him feel better. "So, now that I know all those frightening things that I watched earlier are inaccurate and were created by creepy Earthlings… Can you tell me what is actually a part of Human courting rituals?"

"Well, first off, the two people get to know each other. They spend time together, like going to concerts, restaurants, movies and things like that… it depends on what the couple wants to do. But the important thing about it is to talk and get to know each other. They stick around, feelings grow and eventually they…mate."

"We've done a lot of that."

He wasn't wrong about that… You did spend lots of time with him when you weren't working. He was almost like your shadow. In the beginning, he was insufferable and annoyed you to no end. But as time went by, you developed a mutual understanding and got along better with him.

Despite his blaring, negative traits, he had some positive ones too. He was curious and did show a shred of intelligence however rare that was at times. He was also fun to be around and he wasn't a boring creature at all. Although he was largely carefree and immature, he did have an ounce of seriousness and duty in him and you could respect that. It was also nice that he knew how to defend himself and was tall…

Wait, what..?

"You're in my house and I'm looking after you," you said. "It may seem like it but we're not actually dating…" You paused. "What was it like when Red and Pax were courting? What did they do?"

"I don't know," he said, hanging his head lowly. "They always kept their meetings secret. I knew it about it because he told me or I walked in on them on one of their 'dates' a few times. But Red always gave her the finest and most expensive snacks. He definitely shared his food with her too. He always treated her like she was…something special, I guess. She was shorter than him but he treated her like she was his equal or she was taller… He treated her better than he did with me. I never really paid attention to or noticed anything but I saw those things. And romantic things aren't really a thing that happen with Irken so, yeah."

You tried to put yourself in his figurative shoes. What you saw was something pretty dismal and even pathetic. Then again, you were decipher it all according to the mind of an Earthling. He truly was clueless. In a way, it was kind of sad to see him like this, so confused and unsure what to make of all these things. You pitied him. You could feel yourself softening up on him a little. He and his kind were totally unsure what to make of these complex and trifling feelings. And there were also all these aberrations and deviances that were running rampant?

"I'm sure it's hard for you to understand," you said. "I'm sorry that's the case. I just don't really know what to say. I'm not an Irken so maybe I can't really offer much input to begin with. Maybe I'm just spouting nonsense."

"You're trying to understand so I can throw you a bone," he remarked. "I don't expect you to totally get it. I know I'll probably never understand Humans no matter how much you teach me about them."

"Even Humans don't understand other Humans. That's how much of a mess we are."

Purple laughed. He was even smiling.

"But I do know that I like you," he said. His face turned that darker shade of green again.

"That's…" You swallowed hard and nervously played with your hair, wrapping a strand of it around your pointer finger. What did he mean by that exactly? "That's nice of you to say that… I like you too, Purple."

His eyes seemed to lighten up. There even was an excited smile on his face. His antenna twitched and he folded his hands together. His blush persisted.

Your heart was racing. You could feel sweat form on your palms. Your cheeks grew darker and hotter with each moment that went by.

You were snapped out of your trance when you heard a nasty half gagging and half coughing noise. You looked over your shoulder, seeing Bambi puking on the floor. Apparently, the chips he ate didn't agree with his stomach and were making their escape.

"Oh, God, Bambi, I'm an idiot!" you cried, feeling bad for forgetting about it earlier.

You jumped off the couch and ushered the dog out so he could finish vomiting outside and begin cleaning up the mess. It was a gross distraction but it was a welcome one to be honest. If you kept staring back at Purple, you were pretty sure you would've crumpled beneath those eyes.

For some weird, unexpected reason, he seemed to become more attractive with each day that went by. Earlier, you thought you already had an established type. But now you were starting to realize that definition was changing. You happened to be drawn to tall morons from other planets.

(Happy Nebula Clinic)

She was begged by the hospital staff to at least wait until the patient woke up. Luckily, Lyn agreed to those terms. As angry and as determined as she was to meet with Naver, she managed to scrounge up whatever patience she had. She also didn't want to unnecessarily stress the Yuti chief unless if there was literally no choice. From what she heard, the avian alien suffered from some horrific hemorrhaging and several broken bones.

The medical team managed to save the life of the small warrior. The quick thinking and intervention of her two compatriots saved her life and enabled the doctors and nurses to pick up where they left off. Although Sahn and Livo were no medics, their basic medical knowledge was enough to give her a chance. More than anything else, Naver was lucky to be alive. The loyalty of her two subordinates and the resolve of the staff granted her another shot at life. It also helped that Naver was fiercely defiant and refused to die if she could manage it.

Lyn silently paced outside her ally's room. She could see through the glass window, seeing that Naver slept peacefully. Her breathing was slow but steady. The feathered creature was almost entirely wrapped up in medical gauze and bandages, looking like a mummy.

In all honesty, Lyn never suspected that he would announce his return in this manner. She had no idea he would reemerge bathed in the blood of one of her comrades. He almost killed Naver. She still couldn't believe Red won against her. Lyn was so confident in Naver, she never would've predicted that one of the Tallest would best her. Aside from Kalix, the previous War-queen, Naver was the strongest Yuti warrior she knew. It enraged her that he was proven to be the better fighter. She especially wouldn't underestimate him at this point.

She also spoke to the two Yuti Naver was travelling with. Sahn and Livo provided their account to her, telling her everything and confirming the reports. Almighty Tallest Red personally hijacked their ship and indeed nearly killed Naver. They said that the only reason why they let him go was because they wanted to save their commander. If it was just the two of them, they would've done what they could to stop the renegade Tallest. And they also told her the words he instructed them to give to Lyn.

Quietly, Lyn seethed. One way or another, she knew he would come back. It almost as if he slapped her in the face by viciously attacking one of her closest companions. It was beyond insulting.

Lyn halted in her footsteps when she saw the green, feathered alien stir in her bed. Her damaged, muted eyes seemed to light up at these signs of life. A genuine smile cracked across her face. She was truly happy that her strength was returning to her.

The tall Irken let herself into the room to greet her. She briskly walked over to the side of her bed and sat down in the chair beside it.

"Naver," Lyn said gently but firmly, "Naver, it's me. It's Lyn, wake up."

A small, quiet trill came from the wounded chief. Sleepily, her dark brown eyes opened up. She blinked a few times, finally regaining consciousness. The fog in her brain started to dissipate.

"What happened to you..?" Naver wearily asked. "Is that really you, Lyn?"

"One of the Tallests' adoring slaves tried to take me out with her in an explosion," Lyn confided. She had no desire to discuss the incident but she would at least tell her that much. "But I'm alive. What about you? Are you alright?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what? Don't apologize."

"No, I am very sorry." Naver huffed tiredly. "I failed."

"You underlings told me everything. They said you showed him no mercy. You didn't back down and you him fought brutally until you couldn't stand up anymore."

"I was so wrong. I underestimated him. I had no idea what he was capable of, Lyn. I lost. I deserved to die but at the same time, I refused to."

"It's not your fault."

"He is a warrior, Lyn. That was my biggest mistake. And he defeated me."

"It's alright, calm down."

"I have to live with that fact for the rest of my life. I have lost my honor and dignity. I thought the Tallests were weak and worthless. No…" Her gaze hardened. "We both underestimated them, Lyn. If we are to kill them, it will take much more than we think."

"Regardless, they will die." Lyn's tone turned severe. "None of this will stop until both of them are destroyed. Then we will focus on the Control Brains. After that, we will win."

"I underestimated one. I can only imagine what the other is like. Is he more of a warrior than Red?"

"Silence, Naver." Anger was seeping into Lyn's voice. "You sound like a smeet. Grow up and move on. Purple is a spineless loser. Out of the two of them, he is truly the most useless and nonthreatening one. Getting rid of him will be far easier and less satisfying than eliminating Tallest Red."

Naver turned her head away and shut her eyes.

"I'm lucky to be alive," she said. "Sahn and Livo saved me. I owe them everything now. And from what the medics told me, it will take a long time for me to recover and be remotely useful."

"It is best that you stay and recover," Lyn remarked. "You aren't useful to anyone in this state."

"Your PAK has been damaged further."

Lyn's fingers curled up. She stared at Naver even though the Yuti still looked away from her.

"What did you say?" Lyn pressed, her tone now very low.

"Lyn, I can tell there is a difference," Naver said. She still refused to look at her Irken comrade. "You have changed in body and spirit. That thing is a blessing and a curse to you and your kind."

"I didn't choose to have this thing attached to me as soon as I was hatched." Lyn's voice wavered. She was on the verge of exploding. "I didn't ask to have this thing connected to my mind and body. Because of this piece of tech, I have to rely upon it for everything! I am the victim here! I will never be free of it!"

"Lyn, I'm only saying these things because I am your friend and ally. I am very concerned about you. I know your life depends on your PAK. It controls and sustains you. That is why I have to tell you to listen to me. Do not run headlong to fight Tallest Red. I know he hurt you in the past and I know how much you hate him. But you are unhinged and changed. You seem even more restless and harsh."

"Naver, I have always been this way!" Lyn snarled and her claws dug into the side of the bed, slicing through the blankets and mattress. "Do you think I'm a stranger?! Perhaps your failure has made you mad, you scrawny creature!"

"I know you Irken are delicate but yet sturdy life forms. It is hard to describe. But I can tell you that you are teetering above the edge of ruin, Lyn. I have warned you."

"Thanks for the advice. However, it's totally unneeded. I will let Red return to his throne. It pains me to come to this choice but I have something else to do first." An eerie, toothy grin spread across her burnt face. "Well, perhaps it's not too much of an inconvenience to me. I'll be more than happy to do it. I already took one person Red cared about away from him. I wonder how he will react when I do it again…"

Naver could say nothing else to her. Her instincts and intuition nagged at her. As soon as she laid her eyes on Lyn, she was like a stranger. As Lyn interacted with her, it confirmed her suspicions. It pained her to come to this conclusion but the former Irken Invader had emerged from those flames as a new person. In Naver's eyes, it was not a flattering or beneficial transformation. In fact, she almost wished that the explosion had claimed her. Perhaps that would've been a more merciful fate. Her madness had tightened its grip on her even more and nothing could be done.

Quietly, Lyn got up from her chair. She flexed her claws, turned and walked away. Her unsettling smile remained.

She would save the best and most delicious revenge for last. Now, she wanted to make Red hurt again. She wanted to him to experience the same pain and loss a second time. She wanted him broken before she planned on destroying him.

Right now, she had another mission to embark on. Tallest Purple needed to be located and killed as soon as possible. And she wasn't going to let anyone or anything get in her way.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16 Tenderness and Wrath

(one week later)

"I know I wasn't expecting to see frost on the ground this morning. Seeing it made me just want to crawl back into bed with Zach."

Your eyes widened for a second but you kept quiet. Yes, you knew Zach and Kendra were dating and had been for awhile now but that was a mental image you didn't want in your head. You loved your coworker, however, she had a tendency to yammer on and tell you info you didn't need to know about. There were things about her personal life that you had no idea how to process when she divulged them to you.

"Uh, yeah," you said uncomfortably. "It was a bit too comfy with getting up too. Except Bambi was sleeping on my feet the whole night and it was too toasty for my own good."

"He's such a cute boy!" Kendra gushed. "Look, one night you have to come over for a few drinks and bring your dog too! We'll have a fire outside and have some fun."

"Maybe sometime during the spring or summer?"

"Oh, no! We can do it during a winter night if we have enough fire wood! The snow will keep the drinks nice and cold too! You can bring your hot cousin too!" She then looked sheepish. "Don't tell Zach I said that…"

One way or another, she ended up finding out about him. You knew it was inevitable but you played it off like it was nothing. She caught sight of him when he was sitting on the porch one day. Luckily, he was wearing his disguise so she had no idea of what he really was. And you hoped and prayed it would stay that way. You had a sneaking suspicion that Kendra wouldn't keep her mouth shut about him being an alien.

"He's still trying to get back up onto his feet," you said, trying to brush it off. "He's kind of a mess."

"Pft, who isn't anymore?" Kendra chuckled. "So, it looks like those government jerks are gone. I'm happy, they're out of our hair. Took them long enough. And look, we can talk about it as long as we like since they're not creeping around our woods."

"It's definitely a welcome reprieve. I admit, I don't like being surveyed while I'm working. I never caught them spying on me but I didn't doubt that they weren't doing it somehow, someway. Heck, they might've been listening in on our walkie talkie conversations when they were here."

"So, did you ever see any aliens wandering around?"

"Nope!"

"I'm glad we can talk about this because every single time I bring it up with Zach, we always end up fighting over it. He said there was nothing there and I always tell him to wake up and smell the space dust!"

God, it was so painful. You wanted to ask her about the things on your mind. You literally couldn't talk to anyone else about these matters. On the inside, you were desperate and you needed to discuss it. It was driving you insane.

You were either so foreign to the game anymore or perhaps it was because you were dealing with an alien. Admittedly, you found yourself developing some very confusing feelings regarding the Tallest that lived with you. The strangest thing about it was that at the beginning of his tenure on Earth, you wouldn't have entertained the thoughts running through your head. You would've been scandalized a month earlier. It was starting to freak you out and you didn't know who to turn to or talk to. It was torturous.

You had some relationships in high school but they were nothing serious and nothing intimate ever happened in them. Honestly, most of them were lackluster and disappointing. Now with this? This was something wholly different and you knew it in the pit of your stomach. It was also becoming increasingly difficult to rationalize with each passing day.

There was simply no way that this could be happening. You had to focus on your career and stay out of trouble. Not only that, there was the fact that he was a literal alien. It couldn't and wouldn't work out. He was a distraction and sooner or later, he'd be gone. He'd leave Earth and it'd be the end of these inconvenient and intrusive thoughts. Yet what also nagged you was that he planned on bringing you with him. You couldn't let that happen. You had your responsibilities and you wouldn't walk away from them. Earth was your home and that was the end of it.

It didn't help your anxiety that Purple seemed fishy and suspicious. Every time you walked into your cabin after concluding your duties for the day, he seemed like he was hiding something. There were times when he wouldn't even look you in the eye. Sometimes, you were half expecting to find a horrible mess or accident he caused in your absence but nothing was ever out of place. You also never heard or caught him watching porn but you believed it was possible he opted to be more discreet and secretive after you walked in on him a week ago.

Kendra was right and she didn't even know it. You were a mess.

But you had to seek insight and advice somehow, someway. So, you decided to take a chance. And if it was a big, fat failure, you'd ask Purple if that PAK of his had some sort of mind erasing mechanism he could use.

"Kendra, I have a confession to make," you said meekly. God, you hoped you wouldn't regret it.

"What is it, honey?" she asked, looking confused but receptive.

"That guy's not my cousin. I know I've been telling everyone that but it's not true. I just didn't know what to say or do about the whole thing."

"Just fuck him."

Oh, yeah, you were regretting this already. This was a colossal mistake.

It was like your cheeks turned into two suns. You could only stare back at your fellow ranger, your jaw hanging and your eyes wider than saucers. While you looked so flabbergasted and overcome, Kendra appeared smug and amused.

"You want me to what?" you said, wanting to make sure you weren't going crazy.

"Something's eating at you, dear," she chuckled. "I can tell. You have that hot guy in your cabin and you're not related to him from what you just told me. If it's not incest, do it. I would've."

"Kendra, I can't!"

"Why? And how did this guy end up in your life?"

"He's not from around here, I met him in town awhile ago. He doesn't have friends or family and I took pity on him and let him crash at my place."

"What's he like?"

Oh, boy.

"He's strange," you admitted. "He's a bit of a slob but I'm working on that. He's really tall and he's somewhat of an idiot but he's also endearing at the same time. In their right mind, one should hate him but you can't at the same time. He's…very difficult to describe."

"Have at him, honey," Kendra smirked. You could tell she was all too tickled by your blight. "I can tell you're into him. Women know these things."

"I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want me in that particular way. I don't think he understands or gets…our type."

"Why wouldn't he want you?"

"Don't flatter me like that."

"It's true."

"Kendra, this is kind of a big deal for me. You've known me forever."

"I know. Which is why I want you to sit on his lap as soon as you get home and give him the best lap dance he's ever had."

"…I'm not doing that."

"Fine, maybe not that but do something. Work your feminine wiles and charms on him, dear. He's Human just like the rest of us."

Yeah, about that…

"Are you telling me to seduce him?" you asked.

"Sure!" Kendra nodded. "Try it. Get a feel on him! See how he feels, test the waters if you're not feeling that confident. But don't pass up on him if you're feeling something for him."

How would you even seduce him? Smearing chocolate sauce all over your chest? Crumble donuts in your hair? Yup, talking to her definitely made things a whole lot worse.

You wouldn't hesitate to shoot your gun at someone threatening your life. You wouldn't be stopped if you caught a poacher setting up a trap in your zone. You had a gut of steel when it came down to transporting an injured, tranquilized bear to the wildlife veterinary clinic for treatment. You liked to think you had more balls than the average man or woman when it came down to certain things.

But grinding against an alien emperor's hips? You wouldn't touch that with a fifty and a half foot pole. You would rather fight a giant, rabid raccoon barehanded. What she was suggesting was way easier said than done by a longshot. You were a total wimp when it came down to this.

"Are you okay?" Kendra asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"Just trying to get the perverse thoughts out of my head," you retorted with a strained smile.

"Listen, relax. It'll be okay, I promise. If you're so worried, feel things out. That's the least you can do. Don't waste this chance, okay? Can you promise me that?"

"I'm not sure if I can go through with that…"

"Suck it up, lady! You got this. I know you wanna take it slow and you wanna be methodical and precise. But you have to learn how to take a risk and take what you want, okay?" Her smile was huge and mischievous. It reminded you way too much of the Cheshire Cat. "I want updates, I want stories. And the next time we organize a get-together, I want to see him there with you."

Her expectations were too bold and unrealistic. She was insane. What she was proposing was madness and you seriously doubted whether you could do this. Maybe if she knew the full details about this situation, then her advice would obviously change. They had to. But you weren't going to tell her the truth. There was no way that it could ever come to light.

"I'll see what I can do," you replied hopelessly.

"That's the spirit," she chuckled. "That's my girl."

"You're such a demanding bitch." You smiled as you said that.

"I know. But I'm braver than you."

"Oh, whatever. But let me let you go, it's getting dark and cold."

"Alright. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow? I have to swing by the visitor's center, I'm doing a presentation for some school kids first thing in the morning. It should be easy, they're kindergarteners and they'll be fascinated by all the stuffed animals and they'll love getting a chance to pet Rosco. Hopefully he won't be cranky. I know how screech owls can be."

"Nah, I have to keep an eye on things in my zone. I'm sure Zach told you about the poaching in his area. I have to crack down on things and make sure they don't get any bright ideas about coming into my stretch."

"I'll see you around then. Tell your hot guy I said 'hi'."

Kendra laughed and hopped back onto her ATV. It rumbled to life when she turned it on and she waved at you before driving off back to her cabin.

You waved back at her, watching her go as she drove into the darkening woods. The sky overhead was overcast and miserable and you saw a few stray snowflakes start to fall. A chill ran down your spine and you knew it was your cue to hit the trail. You and Kendra met up on the border of both of your assigned zones and you had a few miles to ride back to your cabin.

Now you felt reluctant to even go home. You just hoped the warmth and redness in your cheeks drastically faded by the time you were outside your front door.

(…)

He was experiencing one of these moments where he really, really wanted to talk to Red. Purple wasn't going to reach out to Zim and that was out of the question. The so-called expert on the Earthlings was anything but that so the Tallest realized he had to rely on his own experiences. That was perhaps what frustrated him the most.

Red might know what to do in this situation. But he also didn't want to contact him and have something potentially fatal happen as a result. Before they parted ways, they decided it was best to limit all communication unless if it was absolutely essential. Neither wanted to end up condemning the other if something should happen if they tried to reach out. They mostly feared Resisty forces listening in and triangulating on their positions. The chance was slim to begin with but both Red and Purple didn't want to take that chance. They both understood that they had to survive no matter what. In order to preserve themselves, they had to go their separate ways and cut ties until further notice.

Purple groaned in frustration and flopped back onto the couch. He rested an arm across his forehead and let his other one dangle over the side of the furniture he was resting on. He hated not being in control in general and this situation was included.

Bambi walked up to him and sat down beside the couch. He looked at Purple, his tail wagging away. He panted quietly and nuzzled his hanging hand, wanting the Irken to pet him. At this point, the canine trusted and accepted his presence.

"Stinky beast," Purple sighed. "Fine."

At first, he cautiously raised a hand and set it on top of the big dog's head. Bambi didn't react negatively to the action so he stroked his cranium. Purple cracked a small smile at this and it almost looked like Bambi was grinning. Clearly, he craved the attention.

"You've lived with this she-beast longer than I have, Bambi," he said. "Got any tips I could use?" He moaned loudly. "I am a defective if I'm talking to a dog! And asking for help from it too! What's wrong with me?"

He remembered when Red first started to change. It was subtle but he noticed it all too easily. After being at his side for so many years, Purple knew Red almost as much as he knew himself. When he expressed interest in Pax, Purple was definitely shocked. He was confused and didn't understand it but he wasn't going to throw Red under the bus or label him a defective. He remembered how at peace Red was. He didn't seem frustrated and confused. It was almost too smooth, too natural, if that even made any sense. Between Red and Pax, it was something that just happened out of the blue.

On the other hand, Purple was confused and frustrated. He didn't know what to do or think. He never felt this way before and he couldn't ignore these thoughts and unfamiliar emotions. A few times in the past, he caught himself wondering if he was a more perfect Irken than Red. That he was the least defective out of the two of them. But now it seemed he was equally as flawed as he was. His assumption was correct; he was part of the most defective generation the smeeteries ever produced. Maybe the Control Brains were malfunctioning or caught a virus. It would certainly explain everything.

He didn't know what it was. This Earthling he was sheltering under was working some strange effect on him. Her scent was calming, her warmth inviting, her body soft… Her laugh made him smile and her own smile made his spooch flutter. She knew when to get serious and how to defend herself. When she lowered her guard enough and unwound, he felt the same way. In a strange, indescribable way, he felt like he could be vulnerable with her. Purple was with this creature for almost two months and yet he found himself to be more of a stranger with each day that went by.

Humans were still a mystery to him and he sought to understand them better. He especially wanted to completely decode the one whose company he grew attached to. Every so often, he thought back to the night where he slept on the couch with her. That truly was the best sleep he ever had. He wanted to experience that again. And again and again. And he wanted it to keep happening even when he'd depart from Earth. That was out of the question.

"Bambi, I could really use your help," he griped. "I would rather ask you for help instead of Zim. And you can't even talk! I'm a pathetic joke. I'm a loser!"

Bambi whined softly and put his front paws up onto the cushion. Then he licked Purple's cheek.

The Tallest froze at this action, ceasing the petting as well. His right eye twitched and he didn't know whether to be flattered or disgusted. He knew it was a sign of affection as he saw Bambi lick his master countless times but it was still rather nasty.

"Thanks…" he said, sitting up. "I guess."

He shuddered and hustled off to the kitchen to go wipe the canine saliva off his face. Bambi followed him and sat down when he stopped at the paper towel rack. As Purple ripped a few sheets off and began to clean his face, the dog began to beg.

"What?" he asked. "I'm busy!"

Bambi barked and wagged his tail. Purple stared at the dog, trying to decipher the creature. If he could guess correctly, perhaps the furry monster wanted a treat. He had observed you doing that plenty of times.

"Oh, I see," he said, giving Bambi a smug smirk. "You've accepted me as the superior life form. Excellent choice. I am your new alpha now!"

Cackling, he finished up with his cheek and then opened up the drawer that held Bambi's treats and toys. He opened up a small bag, taking out a dog biscuit that was coated in peanut butter. Purple leaned back against the counter and held the treat high above Bambi.

"Bambi, speak," he commanded.

Without hesitation, the dog did that. His backend wiggled as his tail shook, belying his excitement and anticipation.

"Good job!" Purple praised him. "You've obeyed your master well, Bambi. Feed!"

He tossed the biscuit up into the air and the dog caught it perfectly a second later. The Tallest smirked, feeling pleased that he had the canine under his control now. He ended up feeling way more satisfaction over this accomplishment than he should have. Perhaps being on this planet was making him insane.

"Uh, good dog," he said. He lowered his hand and gave him a few pats on his head. "Keep being obedient."

Bambi only wagged his tail and enjoyed the attention. Clearly, he had warmed up to the visitor at this point.

However, the mutt's true loyalties were unveiled when the front door started to open up. Bambi raced to the door, eager to meet his true master. Purple hastily and loudly closed the treat door and turned around, deciding to rummage through the pantry and find some snacks to eat.

It was somewhat of a relief to find that he wasn't in the immediate area when you entered your home. He wasn't in the living room and the TV wasn't on. As far as you were concerned, you needed every second you could get to collect yourself and mentally prepare yourself before seeing him. Kendra's words still flitted about in your head and it was hard to try to compose yourself. In other words, it was a pleasant distraction to have Bambi come over to greet you when you entered.

"Hey, boy," you smiled gently. "Did you do a good job of taking care of the place?"

After petting him and giving him an affectionate peck on the top of his furry head, you walked over to Baby's cage. The rabbit was patiently sitting at the door, waiting to be let out. Once you opened it up, she lowered her head, wanting you scratch her. You obliged her and gently scratched her along her nose. She grunted contently and then hopped out, beginning her rounds in the living room.

"So, anything interesting happen today?"

Crap. You actually forgot about him for an instant.

You turned around, seeing his hand rummaging through a bag of chocolate covered pretzels. He was leaning in the doorway, gazing back at you. The look in his eyes was somewhat unreadable but he seemed…neutral?

"Nope!" you answered, trying to play it off as coolly as possible.

"Really?" he said.

"Uh, yeah…"

"Same here."

"Did you watch anything? Did you turn the tide of a battle in an online match?"

"No."

"Oh."

It was stifling and awkward. You two only stared back at each other. Unbeknownst to the both of you, so many things were running through your respective heads.

"Wanna watch a movie together?" you offered, trying to dispel the silence.

"Maybe, I don't know," he replied. You could see his cheeks darkening. "I'm not sure what I want to do right now."

"Are you alright?"

The smile he gave you was extremely forced. He laughed nervously and shrugged.

"I-I guess…" Purple replied.

"You can talk to me," you offered. "I can try to help you out with whatever is going on."

"Let's just watch a movie!"

Yikes, okay.

"How about something you might've not tried before," you suggested. "I got a good one in mind."

"What is it?" he asked. He still lingered in the doorway that separated the kitchen from the living room.

"'Pirates of the Mediterranean: The Source of the Black Pearl'. It's a pretty good film."

"Doesn't ring a bell, let's try it."

You dug through your collection and fished out the film in mind. You placed the disc in your media player and turned on the TV. You could feel his eyes on you as you worked and tried your hardest to ignore it. That was easier said than done.

Once you had the movie playing, you took a seat on the couch. You looked over your shoulder, seeing him hanging around in his same spot. He wasn't even eating and he was clutching the bag a little too tightly.

"You can't be comfortable there," you said. "This is a long movie, come here and get cozy, Purple."

He seemed to hesitate and his fingers flexed around the bag. Even from across the other side of the room, you heard him inhale sharply. Then he came over and parked his skinny backend on his preferred seat. His antennae were laying flat against the back of his head. He looked like he was having a crisis.

"Did Zim contact you?" you wondered. For as long as he was acting this way, it was freaking you out internally. You couldn't rest until he was soothed in return. "Did he upset you?"

"He's one of the last people I want to speak with!" he snapped. "His help is useless and makes things worse!"

"Purple, please… Let's talk. Maybe you'll feel better if we chat. Let me help you out."

"Don't you realize I'm a defective?!" He roughly threw the bag he was clutching onto the ground. "Look at me! I'm a disgrace and I deserve to be deactivated!"

"No, you're not! Whatever it is, I'm sure you don't deserve something like that. I promise you that you're not a defective."

"I am!" He buried his face into his hands. "I'm supposed to be Almighty Tallest Purple! Instead I'm Almighty Chumpest Purple! How can a Tallest be a defective?! It's not right! I'm supposed to be perfect..!"

Your heart sunk when you heard him start to sob loudly. His whole body shuddered as he wept. You sat paralyzed for a few moments, shocked by his reaction more than anything else. You weren't expecting things to get this intense this quickly.

"Purple," you said softly, "it's okay." You set a hand on his upper arm and rubbed it, wanting to help placate him. "If you don't want to talk, then at least…" You swallowed hard. "At least let me stick close to you."

You squealed when he suddenly threw both of his arms around you and held you in a firm embrace. He certainly didn't look strong but you knew how misleading that was. He was legitimately powerful and it felt like he was going to snap a bone with how hard he clamped onto you. He sniffled loudly as he wiped his face in your hair, soaking it.

"It-It's alright…" you cooed. Your arms came around his torso, hugging him in return. "Calm down, big guy."

"I'm so confused!" he lamented. "I don't know what to do! None of this makes sense! Oh, I am a defective! We're not supposed to feel this way!"

You assumed he was just blubbering away. You let him ramble on, hoping he would mellow out and calm down as a result. Definitely, you weren't expecting him to break down out of the blue like this. It was alarming and you caught yourself wondering just what in the Hell was going on in his head. It looked like there was no chance that the movie was going to be paid attention to.

He held you close. His face still remained in your hair but you would let him remain that way. As long as it helped to calm him, you'd suck it up. It was very likely that this was the first breakdown he ever had and you wouldn't chastise him for it. From what you understood about Irken society, it truly sucked. It was entirely possible that it was tough on all of its members, regardless of their height.

He said your name quietly. He nuzzled into your scalp and you could hear a definite, deep purring coming from within his chest. As strange as the guttural sound was, it also seemed to settle you as well.

Gingerly, you reached up and stroked the back of his head, being mindful of his antennae. Briefly, his whole body bristled at the contact. You caressed him slowly and gently, assuring him that you meant no harm. Those appendages twitched when you touched him but they relaxed. A lengthy, steady exhaled came from his lean frame and he loosened up at your touch.

The both of you held each other, totally quiet and unwilling to break apart.

It lasted about ten minutes and he fell silent save for the purring. The dialogue in the movie was mere background noise now and was totally ignored. You continued the stroking, wanting to keep him calm and peaceful.

The Tallest repeated your name again. This time, the desperation and despond in his voice seemed to melt away. It was encouraging.

At last, he moved his face out of your locks. When your eyes met his eyes, you could see that he was far more placid. There even was a small smile on his face.

"Are you okay, Purple?" you asked.

"I'm much better now," he replied.

"Good. See, it's alright."

"Yeah, it is…" He cleared his throat and blinked a few times. "That wasn't very dignified of me. I…I, uh, shouldn't have done that."

"Sometimes you need to have a shoulder to cry on. We Earthlings are like that. We need each other to confide our thoughts to and get things off of our chests."

"But I'm not an Earthling…"

"Maybe your race isn't so different from ours. And no, you're not defective. It's normal to feel like this. Frustration and confusion are normal. So is crying."

He was quiet as he mulled over your words. You could tell the gears in his head were turning. He looked at you like he wanted to say something else but no words were coming out. It was almost like he was hesitating but didn't know how to address it exactly.

Purple sighed and shook his head.

"You're not going to judge me?" he asked. "You don't think I'm weak?"

"Everyone has an instance of weakness," you assured. "You can't be perfect and strong all the time. No, I'm not gonna judge you. I have no room to do it."

He seemed more relieved than he had earlier.

"Don't tell anyone else about this," he said. "Don't tell Red especially."

"But I've never met him," you remarked.

"Please don't say a word."

"I promise. I won't tell a soul."

He looked a little shy and but he made no effort to pry himself free from your grasp. Neither did he look like he was intending to release you.

"Is that okay if we watch the movie like this..?" the Tallest questioned. "It's helping me keep calm. I like how soft and warm you are."

You ignored your festering cheeks. You couldn't deny his request. Pity ruled your heart and you genuinely felt sorry for him. You didn't mind comforting him in this way. Besides, you liked this closeness as much as he did though you weren't ready to publicly admit that yet.

"Yeah, it's fine," you nodded your head. "You gotta cool off, Purple. Turn your brain off and watch the movie. You deserve a nice break and not have to worry about anything. Do you want me to make some chocolate peanut butter cookies for you?"

"As tasty as they are, I don't want you to move. I want you right here. Maybe I'll have them later."

"Okay, that's fine."

Purple reaffirmed his hold on you but when he squeezed you to him, it was gentle. You weren't expecting him to hoist you up into his lap and pull you close to his chest. He tenderly pushed the side of your head against his torso, encouraging you to rest against him and get as cozy as he was. His arms remained around your frame. He placed his chin atop your head and he got comfortable.

You definitely weren't dating him and yet it looked like you were. It seemed like he was still pretty clueless when it came down to these things. But today, you would ignore it. This was pretty nice and snug…

(…)

It was quite the celebration and everyone on board the Massive wanted to be there. A countless drove of Irken bodies crammed into the hangar bay, all of them eager to catch a glimpse of their leader's magnificent return. The whole of the Armada was also alerted regarding Tallest Red's arrival so that there wouldn't be any fatal misunderstandings. He was indeed operating a Resisty owned shuttle and there didn't need to be any egregious miscommunications regarding that.

The throng of cadets and drones in the hangar bay was impressive. They all stood shoulder to shoulder, ready and anxious to greet their overlord. Most of the room was taken up aside from a singular space in the large hangar. Rarl Kove and some medical personnel stood waiting at the edge of the parking space, waiting to receive their leader.

"Don't address him, just bow to him and treat his wounds," Rarl instructed the medics. "Don't leave our Tallest's side unless if he specifically requests it."

"Yes, Grand Advisor," the head medic replied. "From what you described, we are treating injuries on the face and arms?"

"Yes. Almighty Tallest Red fought one of the savage bird people of Yutus. He won of course but the one he fought was one of their mightiest warriors. She didn't go down without a fight."

"We are prepared for anything, Grand Advisor. He'll be in ship shape after we're finished with him."

"Good."

All of the congregation stood so close to together and spoke to each other in hushed tones. Some others opted to remain silent but they were nearly vibrating in joy. Their antennae twitched gleefully, fully ready to salute their Tallest when he showed up. It had been a whole two years since they last heard of and saw him so they were overjoyed to welcome him back.

They held their collective breaths when they could see a small freighter appearing from the void of space. None of the Armada made a move to intercept the foreign vessel, knowing full well of what was going on.

Rarl straightened out his robes and stood up to his full height. He kept his head high, wanting to look dignified and presentable. Surely his progress would appease the Tallest. The Armada was still intact and he had squashed a few pockets of rebellion on Irk during his tenure. Operation Impending Doom Two had been put on hold even before both Tallests went into voluntary exile. All Invaders and resources had been diverted to combat the internal threats and the growing Resisty problem. The head advisor liked to think he had done an impeccable job during those two years. There were other, taller Irken that could've served as regent but Red and Purple specifically chose him to fill in on their behalf. According to them it was because he had served under Miyuki and he should "know" what he was doing and also because he was "so old".

The shuttle slowed down as it drew closer to the Massive. Carefully, it maneuvered through the shield that separated the occupants of the hangar from the coldness of space. Then it landed in the spot that was cleared for it. The sound of the engine winding down echoed through the hangar.

Every Irken present was tense and ready to explode at any instant. A sea of colorful, large eyes were all focused on this one object, waiting for the bay doors to open. Every second that ticked by felt like a thousand years.

Then the bay doors began to part. A metal ramp retracted out from the base of the automatically opening doors.

"Come on, my Tallest!" someone screamed in the throng. "Let's see you!"

Literally half a second after the drone cried out, a tall, thin figure walked down the ramp. He stopped when he made it to the bottom and looked around, surveying the adoring crowd that gathered.

The accumulation of Irken erupted into cheerful screeches and wiggling antennae. The noise was incredibly loud and Red momentarily cringed at the sound. The headache he previously had seemed to melt away. A smile made its appearance and he stood tall and proud, subconsciously puffing his chest out as well. The cacophony of his adoring subjects instantly put him in a better mood.

"My Tallest!" Rarl approached and greeted him joyfully. "Welcome back, sir! We are so happy to see you alive and well!"

His spooch sank as he drew closer to Red. He could see the crudely bandaged wounds in person. There was an unflattering mix of old and new blood on the medical gauze and there even was blood on his robes. There were a few different colors splattered on the Tallest's garb, a grim reminder of his fight with Chief Naver. Both Irken and Yuti blood soiled his clothes.

Then there was the thing that shocked him the most. Red had grown taller. Rarl could definitely tell that he had at least grown a few inches at the very least. That was one of the surprises of having a Tallest as a young adult. They had the potential to grow even taller than they already were.

The medical drones bowed and showed their respect to their leader. They stepped forward and began to inspect his wounds. Two nurses had to resort to using their PAK legs so they could reach, dress and properly treat the wound on his cheek.

Red allowed them to do this, not minding it and finding it relieving in all honesty. There was a reason why he was a pilot and not in the medical core.

"Sir, you've grown!" Rarl smiled. "That is wonderful! We are very pleased to see you but I'm sure you must be exhausted and sore from your trying time. I will see to it that your seamstresses will dispose of or wash your clothes and get you in something far cleaner and comfortable."

"There's no time for rest," Red finally spoke. "There's a whole lot that needs done and I can't slack anymore. That's why I'm back."

"Of course, sir, whatever you wish."

"The Armada is in one piece. Looks like you did a good job of keeping things in ship shape, Rarl."

"Thank you, my Tallest!"

"That was your job to begin with. That's why I gave it to you." He then turned away from the smaller Irken and faced the still cheering crowd. "Thank you all for your…enthusiasm and gusto." The mass fell silent as he was addressing them directly. "Your Tallest has returned and I will say that a lot has happened in the two years I was absent. I can't hide anymore. I can't sit still and let the Resisty continue to plague our universe. I can't allow any more destructive defectives ruin what we have strove to create for generations. I'm finished with it and I will no longer tolerate it! I'm sick of it!" He smiled cruelly. "My fellow Irken, this is our universe and this is our time. It always has been! As the true masters and owners of this universe, are we going to let these filthy traitors and rebels challenge us? Are we going to let them get in our way?"

A loud, spontaneous "no" rang out from the gathered Irken. They cheered and shook their fists in the air. They could feel the anger and determination their Tallest was oozing and they fed off of it like flies on roadkill. His mere presence was a huge morale booster and with him speaking to all of them, it made them swoon under his spell even more.

Red missed this. The power was all worth it.

"From this moment on, I will personally spearhead this strike against these undesirables," he continued. "Every single traitor and defective will be weeded out and terminated without mercy! Every single Resisty sympathizer and member will be blown up! And all of this, all of it, will be made possible personally us! Whether you're a service drone, an Invader, a pilot or a Tallest, you will contribute and make this work! Together, we will bring perfect and complete order to our Empire and make sure all who stand against us are destroyed!"

Once again, the throng burst into a concert of screams and joyful cries. Just as they fed off of their Tallest's words of encouragement, the alien leader thrived off their wild approval. Their feral zeal made his ego grow larger than a red giant and he felt unstoppable.

He yelped quietly when he felt one of the nurses start to stitch up his cheek. He winced at the sensation and shot the medical drone a scrutinizing glare.

"I'm sorry, my Tallest," she meekly apologized. "But I have to stitch this up or else it won't heal properly. It'll only take a moment."

"Fine," he grumpily answered. "Just…" He sighed. "Try to be more careful."

"Yes, my Tallest. Welcome back, sir. We're all very happy you've returned. I knew you wouldn't abandon us."

He could see her cheeks turn dark green for an instant. Her ruby-red eyes averted from his and she hastily yet carefully refocused on her stitching task.

"What's your name, medical drone?" Red asked.

"Uh, it's Leeza, my Tallest."

"How long have you been on the Massive?"

"Ever since Operation Impending Doom Two started, my Tallest."

"Do you like it here?"

"It's an honor, my Tallest. Who wouldn't dream of serving on the Massive?"

"Hmm, good point. It is pretty cool, isn't it?"

"It is!"

Her cheeks were still flushed as she worked. Leeza finished up with the sutures and her fellow nurse handed her a fresh, sterile strip of gauze. She lightly dabbed at the wound, still being mindful and diligent of his pain. She smiled shyly as she admired her handiwork, feeling proud of it.

"There you go, my Tallest," she said. "Try to avoid touching it. In about two days, we'll inspect it to make sure it's healing properly."

Red felt relief that the wound he had was sterilized and closed. He looked at the short but skilled nurse drone and gave her a small smile.

"Thank you, Nurse Leeza," he said.

"You're very welcome, my Tall-…"

She was abruptly cut short when a stray blaster bolt shot clean through the side of her head. The smile Leeza had on her face eerily remained and she was still propped upright by her PAK legs for a few seconds. Then she fell over, her body collapsing into a slightly twitching heap.

Red watched this with genuine shock and the whole hangar bay was plunged into mortified silence. He managed to tear his astonished gaze away from the drone's corpse and traced the trajectory of where the shot came from.

"Protect the Tallest!" a guardsman yelled out. "Go! There's an assassin here!"

Red could see a glint on the far side of the hangar and he narrowed his eyes at the anomaly. He could've sworn he could make out a rifle barrel partially sticking out of one of the air vents. He located the traitor before anyone else did.

Red ignored the clamor of his bodyguards pushing through the crowd to try to reach him. His PAK limbs shot out and he swiftly raced towards the far side of the hangar. He wasn't going to let this assailant get away. There was no way that he would stand for this.

The tall Irken reached the other side in astonishing time and he leapt up to the air vent where the assassin lay hidden. He could see the barrel of the weapon that was sticking out was swiveling feverishly. It seemed that the assassin couldn't pull his gun out of the spacing in enough time. It was also more than likely he was panicking, not expecting his own target to come barreling after him. Red's vicious confrontation was one of the last things he predicted.

Red activated both of his wrist blades. With a yell, he brought them both down, slicing through the piping as if they were made of soggy paper. The metal tubing clattered noisily to the ground below.

"Come here!" Red yelled, thrusting a hand into the dark vent and reaching for the traitor.

He could make out the humongous, frightened eyes of a small Irken in the darkened space. The tiny being started to crawl away fervently, making its escape through the ventilation system. Red thrust his long, skinny arm through the enclosed space, not wanting to let the assassin get away and make another attempt on his life.

As soon as Red felt his clawed fingers graze against the assailant's ankle, he clamped down tightly. Though his fingers were thin and seemingly brittle, they were quite powerful and held onto the smaller creature with unbelievable force. With one swift, fluid motion, he yanked the assassin towards him and then brutally slammed them towards the ground.

The PAK limbs he used to keep him attached to the ceiling let go and the Tallest dropped to the floor of the hangar. The traitor made contact with the hard surface first and it was something Red could both see and hear. They bounced once and let out a pained yelp.

"You're not going anywhere!" Red fumed, absolutely furious and bloodthirsty.

The weaker and shorter Irken leapt up to their feet and glared at their Tallest. Now that they were backed into a corner, they weren't so quick to flee now. They readied themselves into an attacking, challenging posture, their PAK appendages springing out as well.

"You're a pretty horrible shot, you little spitball!" Red snarled.

"I'm a service drone, you idiot, not a soldier!" the assailant snapped back.

Red growled and leapt towards the rebellious drone, giving them no time to react. He roughly grabbed them by the front of their tunic and dangled them mere inches from his face.

The Tallest ignored the throng of guards and soldiers that circled around him, ready to take the traitor into custody. Their interference was unnecessary. He wanted to deal with this creature himself.

"I couldn't believe my luck when I found out one of the Tallest was coming back," the drone smiled impishly. "I knew I had to take matters into my own hand."

"Who told you to do this?" Red urged. "Did some Resisty scum put you up to this?"

"Oh, my Tallest, there's more to it than just that." He spoke in a sickeningly sweet tone and batted his eyes mockingly. "I'm not with the Resisty. You see, I don't care for them myself. I'm one of those folks who want to destroy the Resisty but don't really like you."

"I'm your Tallest, you have no choice!"

"You're an awful Tallest! I couldn't bear the thought of you coming back and bossing me and everyone else around! You're the worst! So, I tried to take matters into my own hands."

"You've should've left the killing to the professionals, tiny." Red grinned maliciously. "Look at the trouble it got you into now."

"I know I'm done for. But you better watch your back. You have enemies all over the place, Tallest Red. We're hidden in plain sight and we're not going anywhere until you're dead and gone! You'll never be safe! I suggest you run off and hide again! At least you had a better chance as a coward!"

Red wouldn't entertain him anymore. With one deadly swipe, he decapitated the failed killer. Without blinking, he tossed the headless body onto the floor and coldly stared at it.

"Remove his PAK and wipe its data out!" he commanded one of his guards. "He was a defective!"

He was seething. He couldn't believe the gall and the audacity of this small turncoat. It ate away at him. Red was also in disbelief that his enemies would try to assassinate him as soon as he made it onto the Massive. But he wasn't deterred. He returned for a very specific reason and he would see it through until the bitter end. There was no negotiating or compromise.

There was treachery everywhere. He had to be wary of the Resisty, the Irken who defected to their cause and the ones who were loyal to the Empire but not him. It was revolting. His two years in exile hadn't changed anything. They simply bided their time and waited for him to resurface. They were patient but spiteful.

"Let that be a lesson to every single one of you!" he raised his voice, speaking to all of the Irken in the hangar. "This is what will happen to traitors! I will show no mercy and my revenge will be fast and terrible! We won't stop until they're all hunted down and exterminated! I will not let them undermine my authority and challenge my rule! I am your Tallest and you will all accept that or die! Am I understood?!"

The crowd seemed to be shocked that their Tallest had personally executed someone. Usually the Tallest gave the order to their bodyguards to carry out tasks like these. The last time something like this was done was during the reign of Almighty Tallest Gavi and that was well over a thousand years ago. To see their current ruler doing this was jarring.

"AM I CLEAR?!" Red roared, spittle flying from his mouth.

"Yes, my Tallest!" the crowd retorted in unison.

This was not ideal. Earlier, he had fully intended on contacting Purple as soon as he reestablished himself in the Massive. He had every intention to invite him back and rule alongside him as they had always done. But now it appeared that this ship was crawling with traitors. To invite Purple back was like ringing a dinner bell. Red couldn't and wouldn't risk his friend's life like that.

He would have to wait and be patient. It wouldn't feel right without his co-Tallest but it would be for his own good. He would never forgive himself if one of these slimy cretins assassinated him. In time, he would reach out to Purple. And if he was to do it, it would be through a private message and not on the bridge of the Massive. If he was to contact him, no one else could know that he did it.

Red had no idea where Purple was. But he had a sinking feeling that wherever he was hiding, it was probably ten times safer there than it was on the Massive.

Chapter Text

Chapter 17 The Men and their Babes

(two months later - February)

"Just act naturally. But don't make anything too obvious either. If that makes any sense."

"I really don't want to go. All I want to do is eat chocolate cake and sleep on the couch."

"Do Irken hibernate during winter months? Do you even have seasons on your planet?"

"What, you think I'm sort of bear or something? I know I eat a lot but come on, Human. I'm not that fat and lazy."

"You're not fat but you are lazy."

"No, we Irken don't hibernate… But we do have our personal preferences. I like hot weather and I can't stand the cold. I don't want to go outside unless if I have to."

"We're being expected. We kinda have to go."

Purple rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. He sounded too much like an angsty teenaged boy that didn't want to be bothered with doing his daily chores. He shoved another handful of nachos into his mouth and leaned back into the couch.

"I've heard about this Kendra," he said, sounding annoyed and inconvenienced. "She sounds like a real pain."

"She means well, she does," you said, trying to keep things as light and as smooth as possible. "Look… Don't you want to go see other Humans? It'll give you a new, fresh take on studying us. It's something different. It'll keep you stimulated and you won't be as bored."

"I don't care, I'm not interested in them!"

Angrily, he shoved another hearty portion into his maw. He only bothered to take a few chews before swallowing. More than anything else, he wasn't paying attention to the taste, he was more invested in binging on his food and stuffing his face.

"She will suspect something is up if we don't show up," you continued, wanting to get through to him. "She saw you from afar only once. That was how she even found out about you. Kendra is very interested in meeting you."

"Well, I'm not on the other hand," he replied indignantly. "I have my shelter, my food and my company, I don't care!"

"There'll be food and drinks. I promise that it won't be boring. It'll be more exciting at her place than here."

"I'm not bored here, what don't you understand about that? I'll happily watch the 'Nova Battles' movies all over again too. I've watched each one over half a dozen times since I arrived on Earth. The fight between Emperor Palantino and Master Yodel was awesome. Remember that part where Jobee-One fought General Derpous? Derpous couldn't have died that easily at the hands of that stupid Gedi! And then that scene where Fluke Starjogger found out Death Vater was his dad? That can't be beaten! The fight between the Gedi Knights and the Shit Lords was another great scene!"

"How are you not bored out of your mind? When you first showed up here, I thought it was gonna be way more difficult to entertain you."

"I get to watch movies, play video games, eat, tame your beasts and curl up by the fire. It's perfect!"

"This social gathering will only be for a few hours. It's a Friday night and Kendra wants to hang out. I promise you won't be bored. Purple, please, don't be such a brat."

"I'm not!"

"Please… Come with me, cooperate, have a drink or two and then we can go back. Can you do this favor for me? Let's just get it done and over with."

He crossed his arms across his chest. Purple scowled and looked away, not at all seeming pleased with this update. His antennae were pressed flat against the back of his cranium, further belying his reluctance and annoyance with the whole scenario. He didn't like being coerced like this.

It was hard to believe that four months had passed since you took him under your roof. It almost didn't feel like it but that's what it was. He had wholeheartedly made himself at home and seemed to blend it rather well with everything. You had grown fully accustomed to him and he to you. In fact, you caught yourself a few times getting eager to be done with your shift and get back home. You found yourself craving his company more and more.

Kendra's words from two months earlier still lingered in the back of your head. They always floated around in there but you wouldn't act upon them. Those confusing emotions that roiled in you were still present as well. And you were pretty certain they weren't going to be vanishing anytime soon. As far as you were concerned, they were most likely there to stay.

You had to be real with yourself. Denying the truth would only make your life more difficult. The feelings didn't wane as you suspected (or maybe hoped). Without a doubt, you were very much attracted to him.

And yet you had no idea if he felt the same way. That was perhaps what was most maddening out of all of it. Sometimes, it looked like he was as interested as you were. Other times he was a blushing mess and would excuse himself to the bedroom he hardly ever used for the rest of the day. You could tell he was legitimately confused but you weren't going to get your hopes up or press the envelope. You didn't want to upset him or have him breakdown into a fit like he did two months earlier.

It was so strange… He still desired to hold you close whenever he was watching TV. He also voiced multiple times he still wanted to fall asleep on the couch with you again but nothing ever came about from that. To you, it seemed like he had no idea what he wanted. Maybe he was as maniacal and confused as any other Earthling.

"If we go to Kendra's, I'll take you out to the Honey Pot," you said. "Wanna go stuff your face with fries and all that jazz? Want to do some karaoke and chill? How does that sound?"

At the mention of karaoke, one of his antenna twitched. He tapped his chin, looking like he was thinking it over.

"That is tempting," he admitted. Then he frowned. "But I need another reason to go to your annoying, harpy-friend's house."

"You can't be seen as shady," you said. "People might think something is up if all you do is hide. Then if they go poking around, they might find out about the truth."

"Then I get rid of them. I'm not afraid of any nosy Earth monkey!"

"I hate to sound selfish but will you at least do it for me? Can you do it as a favor for me?"

He visibly hesitated. He bit his lower lip and he seemed like he was fiddling about nervously in his seat. Purple averted his gaze and stared at the ground, considering your request.

"Fine…" he exhaled loudly. "I'm only doing it because you're practically forcing me… I'll remember this, Human!"

"Thank you," you said, giving him a tiny smile. "I'm kinda anxious about the whole thing myself but it does need done. We can't let her get suspicious."

"You have to do something in return for me."

His smile was impish and his purple eyes refocused on you. You didn't like the sound of it.

"It has to be something negotiable," you said firmly. "Don't you get any crazy ideas."

"Oh, no, I would never do something like that!" the Tallest cackled. "Don't worry, I'll think about it and I'll get back to it when I decide what I want."

"Purple…"

"Yes?"

"I'm serious."

"So am I, Earthling."

"Fine. We'll discuss this later. Let me get into some more appropriate clothes and then we'll go."

"Don't take too long."

"Easy for you to say. I'm not the one with the holographic disguise that can get activated in a pinch."

Purple merely snorted and leaned back in the couch, getting comfortable for the moment. He gave you a smug look and folded his arms behind his head.

"You sound jealous," he snickered.

"You wish," you snapped back at him.

Without saying another word, you turned on your heels and marched to your bedroom. Yeah, he could be a sassy, insufferable idiot at times. But you'd be a horrible liar if you said you hated that about him.

(a half an hour later)

Mindfully, you drove up the gravel road that led to Kendra's cabin. What was nice about this drive was that it was brief and took only a few minutes to make it to her residence. You could see the orange glow of the bonfire she had going in her front yard, seeing it was roaring and accommodating even from afar. The sky above was totally clear and there was no threat of inclement weather or windiness which was perfect for the fire.

Although you were a little anxious about introducing Purple to your coworkers, you still were eager to hang out around the fire and maybe have a drink or two. It would be relaxing. You kept telling yourself that and you assumed the Tallest knew better and to behave himself while he was at it.

"Oh, there's something else I need to disclose to you," you started, feeling some heat infiltrate your cheeks.

"What's that?" he asked, turning his head to face you.

"Kendra knows you're not my cousin…"

"Um, okay… So, what's the story you cooked up?"

"I just told her you're some guy I met in town, took pity on and invited into my house."

"That's…that's really shady sounding."

You knew it was bad if he was calling you out on that. It was pretty embarrassing but you'd have to move on and get over it.

"I'm just some random loser you took in?" he asked, sounding truly vexed.

"Yeah, pretty much," you said, giving him a wry look. "I guess I adopted you like my dog and rabbit."

You chuckled and slowed down as you rounded the bend in the road. Just around that corner was Kendra's lot.

"That's not funny," he dourly retorted, crossing his arms across his chest. "I'm no dirty, furry Earth beast!"

"Calm down," you rolled your eyes. "Try to not be miserable, please."

"As long as they have food there, I'll deal with it."

As you slowed down, he activated his disguise. He examined himself in the mirror for a moment, making sure it was presentable and convincing enough. It worked plenty of other times when you took him into town for grocery trips. Hopefully it would remain this way tonight. It would be a test of sorts.

When you finally parked your truck, you could make out the shapes of Kendra and Zack around the fire. They were sitting on lawn chairs and they waved at you, welcoming and beckoning you over.

"Hey, guys!" you called over to them. You opened up the door and hopped out of your seat. "The fire looks nice!"

"Plenty of dry, freshly cut wood will do that!" Kendra said. "Come on! Sit down and relax a bit! We've got plenty of drinks and food! You won't leave hungry!"

You paused, listening to Purple as he slid out of his seat and closed his passenger door. The sound of shifting gravel came from behind you as he made his way around the car to your side. You didn't turn around to face him but you could certainly sense him lingering behind you.

"Wow!" Kendra gaped. Even in the firelight, you could see her eyes widen and then blink a few times. "You're super tall!"

"Heck, I'm jealous!" Zack joked. "Guys, come on over!"

You could hear him growl quietly but you chose to ignore that. Purple might've been in a bad mood but you knew he'd get over it sooner or later. The allure of food hopefully would be enough for him. You really didn't need him acting like a prickly porcupine for this night.

When you walked forward, so did he. You could feel the hairs stand up on the back of your neck, probably due to his cloaking mechanism. He was so close to you and you could've sworn his footsteps were filling yours with each step you took.

"It's nice to finally see you in person!" Kendra said. She turned her full attention to the alien before her. "Your name is Purple, right?"

"Yeah," he said, his voice sounding a bit lackluster and strained.

"It was awfully sweet of that lonely ranger to take you in, honey."

Oh, no. She couldn't be starting this bullshit already. Not on your watch. Not on this night. You had a shadow of a suspicion that she might try some sneaky stuff like this but you weren't expecting these antics right off the bat.

You took your seat and Purple plopped down next to you. The disguised Irken moved his chair a little closer to the fire, drawn by the warmth and heat he had grown accustomed to. Then he stretched his long, lanky form out, wanting to get as toasty as possible.

"Careful, man, don't end up in there with the wood!" Zack lightly teased.

"I like the fire," Purple replied. As the heat warmed his body, he relaxed a little more. "I don't like this snow and this cold. It's disgusting."

"Chill out for as long as you want, we're gonna keep this fire going on for as long as we can!"

"Where's the food?"

He definitely could've afforded to brush up on his social etiquette. Inwardly, you cringed at his lack of manners. You assumed you were used to it and that you either tuned it out or totally forgot about. But at the same time, you knew his manners were somewhat better lately. Or at least that's what you thought.

"I always tell him he has to have tapeworms," you joked, wanting to keep things diffused and as pleasant as possible. "He can shame a horse with how much he eats."

"He can eat a lot and still rock that skinny frame?" Kendra said. "I wish I could get away with that!" She took a sip of her beer. "What's your secret, Purple?"

"It's my genes," Purple answered with a sly smile. "I guess I'm lucky."

"We got some pretzels and chips right here," Zack said. He got up and grabbed the large snack bowl filled with said food sitting on a table behind his chair. "Here, eat up."

You shot Purple a stealthy but scrutinizing stare, warning him to be mindful and civil. You weren't going to tolerate any snotty, snobby behavior from him tonight. He was going to act somewhat like a gentleman and you were going to enforce it one way another.

The Irken saw your gesture all too clearly. He only smirked and graciously took the bowl from the Human male.

"Thank you," he said, annunciating his words. "You're so nice!"

Purple grabbed a handful and tossed it into his mouth, eating away.

"So, tell us a bit about yourself," Kendra said. "I know my coworker has been trying to keep you as a secret from us but now we actually have you right in front of us."

"It's not like I keep him locked up in the basement," you scoffed. You got up and grabbed a beer from the nearby cooler. "Don't twist anything, Kendra."

"I'm not!" She laughed and set a hand on her boyfriend's shoulder, rubbing it.

"You wanna know about me?" Purple said. His mouth was so full of the snacks he almost looked like a squirrel toting its hoard in its cheeks. "Oh, I think I'd bore you."

"No! Come on, let's hear about it!"

"I was in the army. I enlisted when I was young and I entered into the sniper corps. I was the best in my class and my drill instructor tried to make my life difficult and challenged my skills all the time…" He smiled at the memories proudly. "But his own life changed when I got a nice promotion."

"I never would've guessed! That's cool! So, are you still serving or what?"

"Not anymore. My duties are more…administrative nowadays."

"Not bad at all!"

"Purple, do you want anything to drink?" you wondered. "Maybe you want to try some of this stuff out?"

"No thanks," he replied. "I'm not feeling it right now. Maybe later."

You thought for sure he would want to try something. It was a little unexpected but you weren't going to antagonize him more than you wanted to. Normally, he was willing to experiment with these types of things. It was imperative to keep this gathering as "normal" and unremarkable as possible.

(two hours later)

"Honey, he's totally into you."

You sighed and rolled your eyes at her observation. She had to have been delusional or crazy. Or both. At this point, you wished she'd just shut up about it. In your eyes, she had no idea what she was rambling about.

"He's a bit complicated," you explained as you tossed your second bottle of beer into the garbage. "I wouldn't jump to that conclusion so quickly, Kendra."

"I caught him watching you the whole time so far. I saw him moving his chair closer to yours."

"To get away from the fire."

"Guess again, dear."

You peered out her kitchen window, getting a view of the bonfire outside. The flames were still high and dancing. Purple and Zack were out there, undoubtedly swapping manly stories around the fire. Initially, you were a little hesitant about leaving your coworker unattended with him but Kendra insisted that the boys should bond without the presence of the girls for a few minutes. You just hoped and prayed to God that Purple wouldn't remove Zack's brain and replace it with a raccoon's when no one was looking.

"They're fine!" Kendra said, interrupting your thoughts. "What're you so worried about?"

"Nothing," you retorted. "It's fine."

"Drink another beer."

"I gotta drive home."

"You literally live minutes way from my place and Purple is a grown-ass man. Besides, he hasn't touched a drop of alcohol. I think he wants to be the designated driver tonight."

"It's not happening."

"Listen to me." Kendra placed a hand on your shoulder and patted it. Her eyes looked solemn and firm. "Stop being so serious and mature. You're always like that. Let your hair down and have some fun. Listen, I have a bottle of tequila and I can make frosted shots for all of us."

"I can't handle that hard stuff. It always made me sick. Please, I don't want to get into a fight over something so stupid."

"Just one straight shot, okay?"

You sighed. Maybe one shot wouldn't make you ill. The two beers you had made you had a tiny buzz but you weren't smashed either. You'd slap yourself out of whatever mindset this shot would put you in.

"One," you asserted.

"Look, if you're three sheets to the wind, I'll have Zack drive you home. I promise. Or you can crash here tonight. I promise, you'll be okay. I won't let anything happen to you."

"Fine."

Kendra went to her cabinet to fish out the alcohol she wanted to decant.

Again, you looked out the window, wanting to monitor the situation. You could make out both of their frames and they were still in the same spot as you left them. As stealthily as possible, you opened her window by a crack, trying to see if you could possibly eavesdrop on their conversation. You leaned in closer to the window, trying to listen in on what you could.

"…girl's a total babe, y'know?"

You could feel your heart skip a beat, a little surprised you actually managed to pick up on something. It was somewhat hard to follow at first but you could tell it was Zack that was speaking. More than anything else, you were keen on hearing whatever Purple had to say.

"Uh, maybe?" Purple answered. “I guess.”

All too clearly, you could pick up on the awkwardness in his voice. He sounded too uncomfortable. Your toes curled and you hastily closed the window, not wanting to listen to anything else.

"Here we go," Kendra announced.

You spun around a little too quickly, almost knocking into your friend in the process. She yelped and chuckled, handing the shot glass out to you. The liquid was clear and looked like water but knew it was the farthest thing from that. You could smell it even before you grabbed it.

"Straight tequila," she said.

"That stuff's horrible but let's do it," you cringed.

"Cheers, honey!"

You toasted each other and you quickly gulped down your shot. It tasted horrible and it burned going down. If you could liken it to something, it felt like you drank a shot of boiled bleach.

"Woo, it's like a slap in the face!" Kendra giggled.

"Or a punch to the gut," you remarked.

"You'll be fine. Let's fill up some shots for our men and head back out with them."

You rolled your eyes at her implication but you went along with it. Perhaps Purple would be willing to imbibe this time.

Once the shots were poured, the both of you exited the cabin and made your way over to the firepit. Purple and Zack were still in their spots and both looked relaxed. There didn't seem to be any sort of hostility that you could feel in the air.

"I brought a treat for you boys!" Kendra called out.

"What is it, babe?" Zack asked, smiling as he turned to face her.

She took a seat on his lap and handed him the shot. Then she kissed his cheek and ran her hand through his hair.

"Want a drink?" you offered the Tallest.

Inquisitively, he eyed you. You reclaimed your seat and handed it over to him.

"What is that smell?" he asked, raising a brow.

"Tequila," you revealed. "I…don't recommend it. But it's Kendra's idea."

"I'm not having any."

"Are you sure?"

For a second, he glanced over at Kendra and Zack. The two lovebirds were invested in each other and paid no mind to their guests for the moment. Then he looked back over to you.

"I'll pass," he said.

"Ugh, don't make me drink this," you groaned. "I already had one and it was more than enough for me."

"Give it your 'babe' friend."

…what the Hell was that supposed to mean?

When he said that sentence, there was a smile on his face. In that instant, you felt like you were about to burst. All that confusion and frustration was compiling inside you and it felt like it was the metaphorical straw that would break the camel's back. You were sick to death of his cryptic behavior and mystifying mannerisms. You were more than aware of the cultural and biological barriers and you knew it was quite the hurdle to get over.

But this response?

The demon on your left shoulder overtook the angel on your right and you tossed your head back. You angrily gulped down the shot, not even paying any mind to the acrid, unpleasant taste. This overwhelming sensation of spite overcame you and you were less than pleased.

"Have at it, Casanova," you said.

The disguised Irken was totally befuddled by your words. Confusion crept into his features and he looked like he was at a loss for words.

"Casanova?" he repeated. "What's a 'Casanova'?"

"Figure it out," you bluntly said.

"Zack!"

"What's up, Purple?" the man said.

"What or who is 'Casanova'?"

"I don't know, it sounds Latin or Italian or something."

"Wasn't he some infamous guy who had loads of girlfriends?" Kendra offered, clearly sounding totally unsure.

At that supplied answer, he looked back at you. He still looked lost. 

"I'm not a Casanova," he said. "What are you talking about?"

"You called Kendra a 'babe', you idiot," you whispered harshly at him. You didn't want Zack and Kendra overhearing anything. "Do you know what a babe even is?"

"Sort of. Like an attractive Earth woman?"

As soon as he answered his own question, he fell silent. Purple stared back at you, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape. It finally hit him.

"I…" he hesitated. "I made a mistake."

You said nothing in return. At this point, you didn't care. Your already dwindling self-confidence was utterly smothered. Him calling Kendra a babe was enough for the night.

"Zack!" he said, raising his voice.

"Yes, my man?" the ranger sounded off.

"Are you ready to arm wrestle?"

"Heck yeah! Come on, let's show off for the ladies! We do have an audience!"

You hoped Zack would put him in his place. If he wasn't going to do it, then you were going to make Purple walk back to your cabin alone. That'd teach that pretentious, spoiled dick a lesson.

"Ooh, what made you come to that decision?" Kendra wondered.

"I always wanted to arm wrestle a soldier!" Zack laughed. "Come on, I have to test my muscles! I gotta stay in shape and know where I stand! Babe, grab the snack table so we have a surface to rest on."

Kendra got up off his lap and went to do the task.

"I will correct my mistake," Purple said, looking back to you.

"By having Zack dislocate those skinny shoulders of yours?" you pondered out loud. "What's that gonna prove?"

The look in his eyes was all too serious and it chilled you. It almost felt like the fire magically fizzled out and you were abruptly plunged into the February cold. It actually alarmed you.

"Watch me," he practically demanded.

Kendra set up the table and Zack set his right arm up on the table. His elbow rested on the surface and he flexed his muscles, stretching them out and testing them. Zack wasn't a wrestler but he was definitely toned. Without a doubt, he had muscles and you had seen him haul a few tranquilized bears and deer around like it was nothing.

Purple chose his left arm and set it down in turn. He clenched his fingers, stretching them out and balling them into a fist a few times.

"Not gonna lie, man, I can't believe you were in the army," Zack said. "You're a skinny dude."

"Appearances are deceiving," Purple shot back. He smiled as he said those words.

Both of the males gripped their opponent's hand. Their fingers interwove and each held the other in an iron clamp. Zack had a friendly but challenging smirk to his face. The one Purple displayed was cold and determined.

"Go!" Kendra rang out.

The two men began their duel of strength and endurance. None seemed to overtake the other at first and it was seemingly equal right off the bat.

Carefully, you watched them. Although you were slowly becoming increasingly impaired as the two shots started to kick in, you managed to tune in. As the seconds ticked by, you could see what was happening. Zack's forearm was visibly quivering. He was struggling. When you looked at Purple's it was flexed and wasn't wavering at all. Somehow, he seemed like he was in total control and was deadly focused.

"Damn!" Zack laughed half heartedly. "You're really strong!"

Purple didn't say anything. All he did was exert more power.

Zack hissed sharply when he saw his arm bend over half way to the losing side. Veins were starting to bulge out as he attempted to fight back against his seemingly weaker opponent.

"This is my weaker arm," Purple casually noted.

Kendra was totally silent, more astonished than anything else. You were shut up as well, disbelieving that Zack was actually going to lose to him. More than anything else, it was a bit scary to witness. Even before the match, there seemed to be an obvious victor and loser. The tall, thin guy was curb-stomping the buff one.

"Sorry, my man, but I'm not losing!" Zack grunted.

"I have more at stake than you," said Purple.

Purple's jaw clenched and he forcefully and swiftly pushed Zack's arm all the way down, defeating him. Zack's face contorted and scrunched up and he hastily released his grasp on Purple's hand. The man held his arm, keep it close to his chest in some vain effort to contain the pain.

A look of horror washed over your face and your hands folded across your mouth. With the way Purple pushed Zack’s arm over made you instantly believe it had to have been painful. It was swift but brutal.You weren't expecting that at all. You knew for certain that Purple was more than likely stronger than you but him clearly outmuscling Zack? That was frightening. He was capable of some insane strength you weren't even aware of.

"Honey, are you okay?" Kendra demanded, leaping in and fawning over her defeated boyfriend.

"It's nothing, babe," he said, waving it off. "I just wasn't ready to get bowled over that fast! I'll be fine, I promise."

The masquerading Irken leader leaned back in his seat, feeling all too pleased and proud with the results.

"It appears I've established myself as the alpha male," he broadcasted shamelessly.

"Was that necessary?" you demanded, finally getting over your shock. "What is your problem? You could've torn his muscle or something!"

"But I won."

"At what cost?!"

Just as you were frustrated, so was he. He was confused and unsure of how to proceed with anything. Internally, he still warred with himself over his upbringing, programming and the cocktail of emotions that roiled inside of him. He still didn't understand how Red was able to do it and function. It was maddening that he couldn't figure it out. Although he was brought up to not feel any emotional connections, he failed at that right from the start. And now that he was beginning to feel strange with the Human female he lived with, it got worse.

Yes, he sought to prove his strength and superiority. He managed to achieve that feat rather effortlessly. But he also wasn’t sure why he exactly did that. It was impulsive and he couldn’t control it. And that question taunted him.

Did he seriously embark on this challenge just to show off? Did he do this so he could exhibit his prowess and power to some lower lifeform he was becoming fond of? Was this some long suppressed instinct from his species' past that his PAK failed to curb for whatever reason and it was starting to resurface? Maybe his PAK was malfunctioning? Or worst of all, maybe he was going to end up like that crazed Irken rebel.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" you asked, feeling so guilty and ashamed for this mess. "You need to get that checked out!"

"No," Zack argued. "We're all gonna get in trouble if we show up there and they find out we drank and drove. I'll be fine, I promise."

"At least go in the morning!"

"Honey, don't worry!" Kendra assured you. "It's most likely nothing. We'll see how it is in the morning. Honestly, don't feel bad about it."

"Oh God…" You felt the need to get out before more damage could be done. This night was getting worse and worse. "It's getting late, we ought to get going."

"Are you sure? You're still more than welcome to stay."

"Kendra, I am so, so sorry. His arm is out of commission so he needs rest he can't overwork it."

"O-okay. Let's rearrange another time to hang out, okay? Maybe sometime in the spring?"

"Sure. I'll check in with you guys tomorrow. Put some ice on it and don't use it if you don't have to. Thanks again and once more, I'm sorry."

You got up and hastily made your way over to the truck. Pure, unadulterated rage was starting to overcome whatever buzz you had that was building up. You wanted nothing more than to snap Purple's thin spine in half.

"Let's get going, Purple!" you demanded. "We gotta go before you break his goddamn leg!"

You fumbled with your keys, trying to unlock your door. You swore under your breath, feeling yourself getting more irate with each second of being unable to do this simple task. You heard him say your name but you ignored him.

"Let me drive," he said firmly.

"Get in the passenger's seat," you growled at him. "You are not driving my truck! I wouldn't trust you to drive it even if I were half dead!"

During this exchange, you didn't even look at him. You only wanted him to get in the car and shut up.

At last, you opened it up and you climbed into the driver's seat. You shoved the keys into the ignition and started it up. As soon as he pulled himself up into his seat and shut the door, you peeled off down the road, kicking up gravel and making your way back home.

The silence in the cab was unbearable and stifling. You wanted to scream at him, clobber him, make him feel the same pain he probably dealt to your coworker. But you struggled to maintain what little cool you had left. It was going to be a miracle if you made it back to your cabin without biting his head off.

"Pull over, you're going too fast!" he commanded.

Just to spite him, you revved your engine. You were probably going to make it back to your place in record time.

"Are you that thickheaded?" you asked. "You could've seriously damaged his arm! That was so uncalled for! You're such a colossal asshole! Zack is my coworker and my friend! If he can't do his job because of his injury, he can suffer because of it! He may have to rely on Kendra to support him! Why do you have to be so destructive and selfish and stupid?!"

"I said to pull over!" he raised his voice, his pitch becoming almost shrill.

You slammed on the breaks and the truck skidded for about two dozen feet. Then you threw it into park and turned in your seat, glaring directly at him and devoting your searing fury and undivided attention at him.

His disguise faded out and you could see the sternness in his eyes. His chest rose and fell, showing he was becoming as animated and wound up as you were.

"You…" you said ominously. "Oh, you…"

"I-I don't know what happened," he floundered. "I just had this sudden urge to prove myself. I saw this look in your eyes when I said those stupid words…" He sighed loudly at the recollection and shuddered at it. That wasn't his proudest moment. "And I wanted to fix it."

"By fucking Zack up?! Is that something you do back home?!"

"I didn't think, I just acted! I'm…" He hesitated and snarled more at himself than you. "I'm really confused and I don't know what to do or act or say!"

"So am I! I don't know what to think anymore!"

"Look, let's chill out… Let's calm down, okay?"

You had no idea where the tears were coming from but they showed up. Your vision became blurred by that salty water and you sniffled quietly. It was so hard to hold it back and you felt like you were going to go insane. There was no one to confide or talk to about these things. No one could know the truth. If said truth ever came to light, your life would probably be over.

"No, no, no, don't do that!" he said in a panicked manner. "Don't!"

You cried louder and rested your forehead against the steering wheel. Maybe having two shots and two beers was a bad idea. Maybe this whole gathering was a terrible idea from the start. It all was a calamity and you were afraid to see what the next day would bring.

"I should've kept my mouth shut when you called Kendra a babe!" you blubbered. "I got…I got jealous and defensive and this wouldn't have happened if I didn't just shut my big fat mouth up. This is my fault!"

A moment later, you could feel two thin arms wrap around you and slide you over to the passenger's seat. You couldn't fight back, you had no strength. You felt yourself being lifted up into his lap. He held you the same way you held him two months earlier. His arms kept you close and he offered you the warmth and comfort of his familiar frame.

"That's enough," he ordered. His words were authoritative but soft. "Stop crying. This is the first time I've seen you do it and I don't like it."

His spindly fingers combed through your hair. The tips of his claws massaged your scalp. His chest rose and fell, wanting you to feel the air entering and then leaving his body. He kept you close, wanting you to steady your breathing and follow his. What mattered to him the most was calming you down and making those tears go away.

All you were capable of doing was clinging to him and letting him soothe you. You latched onto him like a child. Those previous feelings and thoughts were discarded and instead, you focused on him. His steady, repetitive, deep breathing subconsciously made yourself sync with him. Your face was buried into his chest and you felt yourself mellow out at his touch.

"I also just discovered I don't like it when we fight," said Purple. "I don't want to be mad at you and I don't want you to be mad at me too."

"I'm sorry," you murmured. "I'm a jerk."

"That makes both of us."

You let out a weak laugh. You curled up into his shape, accepting him as your sanctuary.

Who were you kidding? Cupid struck you with his arrow all too accurately.

"You like me, right?" he asked.

"Of course I do," you answered. You reached up and stroked the back of his head, being careful of his antennae. "I can't lie about it."

"And you know I like you…" You audibly heard him swallow. "I like you a lot. Like, uh…way more than I should be allowed to."

"I can say the same for myself, Purple."

"Really..?"

"Yes."

"I only called your friend a babe because her man referred to her like that. I…I wasn't thinking when I said that."

"I forgive you, it's fine. Let's not talk about it."

"Let me say one more thing about it… You're more of a babe than she is. Way more."

You caught yourself smiling away at those words. You blushed and muzzled your face into his torso. 

“Hey, my Tallest!”

Both of you were snapped back to reality when you heard that voice. Purple almost leapt out of his seat with you still camped out on his lap. Your eyes widened and you turned your head to look out the windshield. 

There, in the middle of the road, stood Zim. He was standing on his tiptoes and waving his arms back and forth, trying to get Purple’s attention. And boy did it work.

”My Tallest, it’s me!” he called. “It is your faithful servant ZIM!!!! I have wonderful news for you!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 18 "Girl on the Moon"

The noise that came out from Purple's mouth was something you never heard before. It was somewhat of a cross between a deep growl and a rattling hiss. It was so guttural that you could feel it reverberate through your bones. His antennae were pressed against the back of his head. His eyes were narrowed into slits. His jaws were clenched his lips were curled back, revealing his teeth. At that very moment, you never realized until then how sharp they looked.

"Do you see me, my Tallest?!" Zim continued to wave him down. "I'm here! Hey, my Tallest!"

"He needs to shut up," you said hastily, realizing Kendra's cabin was probably a quarter mile away from your position. "Let him into the truck, no one can know he's here!"

"Put it drive and run him over!" Purple fumed. "Do that or I will jump out of this vehicle, tear him to pieces and leave him for the animals! And I am not joking either, I will do it!"

"He said he has information!"

Purple snarled again and his claws dug into the seat beneath him. The mere sight of Zim made him want to viciously attack him. The last thing he wanted was to have the disgraced Irken show up in the middle of this extremely private moment. But he was rewarded no peace and it was ruined. To say that he was furious was an understatement.

Not wanting to risk discovery, you slid off of the Tallest's lap. You opened up the driver’s side door and stuck your head out. You waved towards Zim, beckoning him and urging him to get in.

"Zim, let's go!" you urged. "Don't let anyone see you!"

"Much thanks, Beast-Master!" he exclaimed.

Zim happily clambered into the cab, ignoring the deathly glare his leader was shooting at him. The smaller Irken was blissfully ignorant of the situation and wasn't even aware of what was happening up until he walked out into the middle of the road.

"What're you doing out here?" you demanded. "What's going on?"

"ZIM!" Purple bellowed.

He lunged for the Invader and placed both of his hands around Zim's throat. Forcefully, he pushed the smaller creature back against the passenger door's window and pinned him against it. Purple proceeded to choke and shake him, more than tempted to finish him off right then and there.

In the middle of the chaos and the jostling bodies in the enclosed cab, the radio turned on. The volume was turned up high and the tuning knob was turned intermittently as Purple and Zim struggled with each other.

”It’s night again. Time for my mind to go wandering. Off on a journey through space and time, in search of a face I can never find. So I close my eyes and look inside...”

"Ack..!" Zim gagged. "My… Tallest!"

"Stop it!" you demanded, wrapping your arms around Purple's torso. "Don't kill him!"

You attempted to pry him away from Zim, trying to free the tinier Irken. Purple held fast, refusing to let go of the person that caused him so much frustration and consternation for his whole life.

"You intrusive, annoying, pesky, filthy, stupid, little goblin!" he raged. "I'm gonna choke you til your head pops off, do you hear me?! I'm gonna make sure you don't walk away from this alive!" He looked over his shoulder, directing his attention to you. "Cut it out! I'm doing what I should've done the very moment I first met him!"

"Didn't you hear what he had to say?!" you fired back at him. "He has something to tell! Listen to him!"

"I don't care what he has to say anymore!"

"Dammit, Purple, let him speak!"

"No!"

”She’s like a girl on the moon. A girl on the moon...”

"My Tallest!" Zim begged. He kicked his legs and tried to wrench Purple's hands off of his throat. "The Massive..! Tallest Red is… on the Massive!"

At the mention of Red's name, Purple audibly gasped. All of the hostility and hatred he had summoned up seemed to instantly melt away. Without a second to waste, he released Zim. He leaned back, giving Zim some air to breathe and some time to recover from that violent outburst.

"Red is on the Massive?" Purple asked, wanting to make sure he heard him correctly. "Is this true?"

"Yes, sir," Zim coughed. "I called in to check on the phony not-so-Tallest you chose to replace you and I found my other Tallest!" He smiled brightly. Despite the fact Purple was actively trying to kill him moments before, it never registered to him. "He was so surprised and happy to see me!"

It was so relieving to get this news. Purple often fretted and wondered over his co-Tallest. Sometimes he caught himself pondering over whether he was still alive or he had been killed by savage aliens or vengeful Resisty members. Despite wanting to reach out to him more times than he could count, Purple fought this impulse. There was no way he could betray Red's cover. But now that Zim disclosed this information to him, he felt at ease.

"Red's alive and okay?" he reiterated, a small, genuine smile shining on his face.

"Affirmative, my Tallest!" Zim grinned.

"That's great! I'm happy that Red made it back and he's taking care of things. I figured he'd beat me to it!"

"I also told him that you're hiding out here on Earth!"

The light and joyful emotions Purple permitted himself to feel abruptly burst into flames. His spooch twisted and churned in his abdomen and he looked like he was about to be sick. The color in his face began to wash out, leaving it a few shades paler than what it was originally. Terror filled every single cell and fiber of his body. He felt like he was going to vomit.

"Zim…" Purple said in a hoarse, tiny voice. "You told him where I was?"

"Yep!" Zim nodded.

"You told him where I was in front of all those other people on the control bridge?"

"Yes, indeed! They need to know their other Tallest is alive and well!"

He started to feel lightheaded. He felt like he was about to pass out. The Tallest simply couldn't believe that Zim had mindlessly divulged his location to everyone present on the bridge.

"I-I need air!" he said, beginning to swoon.

"No!" you demanded, trying to keep him upright and in place. "You can't leave this truck until we get to my place! No one can find out I have two space men in my vehicle!"

You threw your truck into drive and resumed your journey down the road. You had to get both of them out of your vehicle and indoors where you could discuss this issue. With Zim's presence, this was going to complicate things. Bambi would go ballistic and would want a second chance to chew on Zim's face. You couldn't afford to go through something like that again. This conversation couldn't take place in your home.

"Tallest Red didn't seem so happy that I told him you were on Earth, sir," Zim resumed. "In fact, he hung up as soon as I told him and I tried a hundred times to reconnect with the Massive but I can't get through! Maybe he wants to have all the power to himself now!"

"Oh, Zim," Purple bemoaned. He rested his left arm across his forehead. "How and why did you do this…? I'm not even furious anymore. I'm just extremely disappointed and scared now."

"We can discuss this in my shed," you told the both of them. "Hang on, it'll be any moment now."

”Am I asking too much? Should I leave my dream untouched? Should I even know where she’s from? My girl on the moon...”

Luckily, the thought came to you in that instant. It was small and a little cramped but it was good enough. You kept your ATV parked in there and the enclosed area would have enough space for all three of you.

Literally two minutes later, you reached your property. You rolled up to the shed and hurriedly put your truck in park. Then you pulled the keys out of the ignition and opened up the door. You gestured for both of them to follow you.

The two aliens emerged from your truck and were at your heels in mere seconds. Both of them were closely behind you and you ignored their presence as you unlocked your shed.

"Why so much secrecy?" Zim demanded. "What are you planning, Beast-Master?"

"Just because the government isn't here doesn't mean they're officially gone," you commented. "They're still on the lookout for Purple. Don't trust anything around here." You unlocked it and pushed the door open. "Come on, in we go."

You let them hustle in first. After that, you followed them and then shut the door behind you. You didn't bother to turn on the light, not wanting to draw any sort of attention. In these circumstances, the cover of darkness was an ally and friend. It wouldn't be so easy to spot you and your companions from afar.

"I can't believe you told them I'm on this planet," Purple said. "Zim… The real reason why I left the Massive and went into exile was because there were traitors and spies in the Armada!" He raised his voice, his wrath starting to make a comeback. "Those backstabbers are still probably on there and were just waiting to get a tip as to my whereabouts! Now they know where I am and they'll come here!"

"I won't let them lay a grimy hand on you, my Tallest!" Zim promised. "Zim shall protect you! They will have to get through me first if they want to hurt you!"

A groan of despair came from the Tallest and he buried his face into his hands. He rested his back against the wooden wall of the structure. Then he slowly slumped to the floor, sitting on the ground.

This didn't look like a case of betrayal to you. From what you learned and heard about Zim so far, it was very unlikely. More than anything else, he was just stupid and negligent. He didn't think before he spoke. This might've been one of his biggest blunders ever. And now Purple was in this hot water.

This definitely was not good. You were more than aware of the situation and he told you plenty about it. You knew that people wanted him dead. With the knowledge out that he was in hiding on Earth, it was like ringing a gruesome dinner bell. God only knew what sort of freaks would rush to your planet now, eager to kill Purple and maybe destroy the planet while they were there.

You had to cook up a plan and you had to do it fast. You had no idea how long it would take for them to get here but you knew that one way or another, they'd show up. The both of you had to be prepared for whatever or whoever was coming. There was no excuse for laziness or slipups. You weren't going to let Purple get terminated on your watch.

"What can we do?" you asked. "Do they know where he is exactly?"

"No," Zim replied. "They know he is on this mud-ball but they don't know his approximate location. You have that in your favor!" He blinked and eyed you inquisitively. "Human, you are willing to help my Tallest?"

"Of course! I already sheltered him in my house for a few months. I'm not gonna let anything hurt him on my watch."

"You have chosen wisely! Tallest Purple must be happy to have such a devoted Earthling servant to do his bidding! Zim approves of your loyalty!"

"Purple." He moaned miserably in reply to you calling him. "Purple, I know you're having an emotional breakdown right now but you need to be in on this!"

"I swear, I can never get a break!" he griped. "All I ever wanted to do was eat donuts, blow stuff up, play video games, watch movies and be tall! Is it so much to ask for?! Why do these things keep happening to me?!"

Oh, absolutely not. You were not dealing with this. He was an adult and he was going to act like one. He had responsibilities to uphold and you weren't going to let him slack off with it.

"Get up," you commanded firmly. "Man up! You got this, okay? You're a Tallest, right? You're a leader? You're someone to be respected? Act like it! If they're coming to kill you, then you have to be ready to return the courtesy to them! You're not a wimp! I know you're not a loser! You're a soldier!"

"Don't talk to my Tallest like that!" Zim chided. "Know your place, bipedal stink-ape!"

"Don't call her that!" Purple snapped at the smaller Irken. "She smells nice!"

"My Tallest, will you let her talk to you like this?!"

"You have no reason to say anything, Zim! You're the source of all my trouble as usual! You're never getting off the hook as far as I'm concerned! When this war is done and over with... Oh, you are so going to pay for everything!”

Zim cringed and looked away, not finding the strength to look back at his superior. He shrunk back slightly and lowered his head, further giving away his sense of ineptitude and shame.

"If people are coming for you, you need to leave," you said, stating the obvious. "How're you going to do that?"

"I must go to this Area 51 and retrieve my ship," Purple decided. He stood up and dusted off his garments. "That's my only option. I'm gonna get it back and leave. Looks like my time on Earth is up.” Then he shot a scrutinizing glare at the tiny Invader. “Thanks, Zim."

Zim squirmed uncomfortably and still kept his head down. He whimpered quietly and twiddled his thumbs nervously.

"How're you gonna get it back?" you asked. "That's going to be a very tricky task. There are plenty of armed men there and it's you against all of them."

"I got a plan in mind," the Tallest chuckled. "Don't worry about it."

"Sorry but that's gonna be impossible for me to do. I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into."

"You got another plan I can use?"

You didn't. This was beyond your power and capabilities, hands down. You just didn't want him to do something stupid that would end up costing him his life. He did have a tendency to be brash and idiotic.

"I don't," you confessed, feeling a bit useless.

"Then I have to do it,” he huffed softly. “Trust me, I do have a plan. I know exactly what I'm going to do and I'm ninety eight percent sure it'll work flawlessly."

"And the other two percent?"

"I might have to really get serious then."

"Can you at least tell me what you have in mind? Maybe I can help out? Or at least try to make it as fool proof as possible?"

Purple gave you a small smile. He moved closer to you and then leaned against the wall. His cheeks were darkening but despite that, he persisted, remaining close and he didn't tear his eyes away from your face.

"I, uh…" his face continued to turn a deeper shade of green. "You know… I'm not gonna let you get wrapped up in it. This is something I gotta do by myself."

"Purple," you said, your tone stern, "come on. I can't let you get yourself killed by these people. Tell me about it."

"I'm literally going to walk up to the front door of their base and let them take me in."

"You're insane!" You gaped, disbelieving the audacity of it. It was almost like a suicide mission.

"It sounds crazy, I know! But I'll have it under control! They'll be more than happy to let an alien in, right? They already have my ship so all they need is the most important piece of the puzzle; me!"

"They might kill you! Seriously, you have to reevaluate this plan! So much can go wrong!"

"My Tallest, I must voice my concern too!" Zim spoke up, finding his courage once more. "Your plan is too brave, sir! Allow me to go in and retrieve your vessel for you! You are too valuable to lose if something should happen to you!"

The smooth smile on Purple's face instantly melted away as soon as he heard Zim speak. You could see and sense the agitation and mounting ire in him. There was no doubt in your mind that he just wanted to rip the smaller Irken's head off his shoulders and scrap his PAK.

"Invader Zim, you have no faith in your Tallest!" Purple growled. "I may be tall but there's much more to me than that! If I remember correctly, you know full well that you, Red and I were all Elites! We went to the same academy together! You know that I'm a soldier! I think it's about time I reminded you of that. Underestimating me is just as offensive as disrespecting me…" He glowered at Zim and placed his hands on his hips. "Your help is not needed and I will do this on my own with no assistance!"

Zim lowered his head and sighed softly. As much as he wanted to retrieve his Tallest's ship, his leader forbade it. Purple knew what he wanted and that much was clear. But he had to assist his overlord, somehow in some way. He couldn't sit around and let nothing happen. He refused to be useless.

"Allow Zim to transport you to Area 51!" he urged. "I will have you there in no time, my Tallest! Let me do that much for you!"

An annoyed exhale came from Purple and he rolled his eyes. Zim was too insistent but that was something he'd take up on. Area 51 was too far away to drive to and even farther to walk. Flying would be the best and quickest option. Plus, it would get the Invader to shut up and he'd be granted some peace.

"Fine," said the Tallest, "I'll accept that offer. Zim, go get your ship warmed up and be ready to take me there. I gotta have a few words with the female before I leave."

Zim looked at you. His stare lingered for a few seconds before his bulging ruby-red eyes refocused back on Purple. You could see that something was on the Invader's mind but you had zero interest in finding out what it was. It most likely wasn't anything good or anything you were keen on discussing.

"Yes, my Tallest!" Zim exclaimed gleefully. "I will be waiting for you, sir! Your chariot will be ready!"

Excitedly, he hustled out of the shed. The door opened and then he mindfully shut it behind him. You could make out his small, green shape skittering off into the dark, wintry night, making his way to whatever direction he parked his ship at.

"I couldn't stand him looking at us anymore," Purple complained. "It's creepy."

"You should let Zim at least stick around in case if things get bad," you suggested. "You never know when you will need his help."

"Ugh, don't even joke about that. If I end up calling on him, then I literally have no choice." He inched even closer to you. "Come with me. Tag along with me and I'll show you the whole universe! This is the perfect opportunity for you to leave!"

You knew that this day was going to happen one way or another. It was a question of "when", not "if". It was an established fact that he couldn't and wouldn't stay on Earth forever. Originally, you foresaw it would've lasted a little longer. Perhaps that would've been the case if Zim didn't decide to so carelessly reveal Purple's location to his co-Tallest. Without a doubt, he would've lounged about on the planet. Anymore, you hoped that was the case.

He also made you part of his entourage and he had said you would be going with him. But you simply couldn't do that. You had too many responsibilities that kept you firmly tethered to Earth. You had your ranger duties. You had your dog and rabbit to take care of. This was your home and you couldn't drop everything so arbitrarily. Not only that, you had to work at least a few decades before you could even retire. There was definitely no time to go on some intergalactic jaunt with the Irken emperor.

Yes, you were realizing you were becoming far more attached to him than you ever perceived you'd be. The longer the reality sunk in, the more it hurt. He was leaving and you had no idea how far away he was travelling to. While he claimed that Earth would be spared and he would peacefully annex it, there was the chance you might never see him again. It was that possibility that weighed heavily on your thoughts. Then there's the chance he might be killed. He might end up being too busy. Or he might find some alien woman with a chest more comfortable than yours…

The ride was fun while it lasted. But the end was here. You knew you couldn't delay the inevitable.

"Purple, you know I can't do this," you started.

"Of course you can!" he said. He set a hand on your shoulder. "You don't have to work anymore! You can bring Baby and Bambi with you! We can still hang out together and have plenty of fun. You can eat whatever you want and you don't have to listen to anyone. Well, except for me… I'll be your boss since you're technically a part of my staff but! I promise I'll be a good boss to you! You'll have the best and most lavish quarters on the Massive and I'll get you your own team of servants! Heck, I’ll make sure the dog and bunny have their own servants too! I'll make sure you're respected and obeyed." He chuckled. "Sounds great, doesn't it? Those are some pretty sweet perks, huh?"

The welcoming and encouraging tone made you smile. But that smile happened to be tainted with sorrow and disappointment. With each second that was going by, it was breaking your heart more and more.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Worry was obvious in his voice. "You look like you're gonna cry again!"

"Purple," you began, "I'm sorry… I can't."

"Yes, you can! Your living quarters will be way bigger! You don't have to go out into that cold weather anymore. You don't even have to work anymore! You don't have to do anything! Like… nothing. You just have to be there. That's all I want. I want to see you and know you're there with me."

"Trust me, your offer is so tempting. I can make do without the servants, that would feel too weird for me. And while it is nice to not have to work, I know I would go insane without having a job of some sort."

"It's okay, we'll find something for you to do! Whatever you want, you got it! I can get you literally anything! I think… I'll try my hardest!"

"I have things to do here. I can't abandon these duties, Purple. I can't just drop it all and go off into that huge universe. It's more complicated than that. It's not as easy as it sounds."

"Your boss can find someone to replace you. It can be someone else's problem!"

"But I like my life. I like my job. I like patrolling the woods, observing the wildlife and making sure everything is smooth and protected. I grew up here. My dad and grandpa lived here with me. It'd be so hard for me to let everything go."

"You're not going to be forbidden from coming back here. You can visit Earth as much as you like when the war is done and over with. Besides, I think I want to make you leader of Earth when I take it over. I can't trust anyone else to rule it!"

He wasn't going to quit. Purple didn't get the hint. It was part of his charm but in this instance, it was steadily starting to annoy and frustrate you. He simply couldn't understand that you needed and wanted to stay on this planet. Your feet belonged on terra firma and that was it.

How would you tell Ted you were going to practically elope with an alien if you decided to go with Purple? He'd never believe you. Besides, you couldn't leave so abruptly like this. You couldn't do this to your fellow rangers. You were an adult and you had to act like one.

Purple was impulsive. In his world everything was easy to get. He was used to getting what he wanted. On the other hand, there was you…

"You want me to go talk to your boss?" he asked, catching onto your turmoil. "I'll do it. I'll tell him you're going away and he will understand. Trust me, I'll make sure he gets the picture."

"Don't threaten him," you argued.

"What's holding you back? You can't say no!"

"I have to!"

"No, you can't."

"Purple, please, I don't want to fight with you…" You grasped onto both of his hands and held them in your own. "I don't want to upset you. I don't want us to go our separate ways and have us be mad at each other. I don't want it. It would make me sick to my stomach."

"But I don't want to leave without you!" He pouted and his eyes looked particularly glassy and expressive. "You don't have to worry about anything! And you don't have to be afraid at all. I'm gonna take care of you and make sure you're happy!"

"I belong here. You belong out there. We both have jobs we have to do, Purple. You have to reclaim your power and sort your Empire out. I have to take care of my woods and make sure people and animals are safe in there. You go out there, do what you have to and then come back. When it's all fixed and done, you can stay for as long as you like with me."

"But I don't know how long that will take. And I don't want any of those freaks coming here and finding you." His posture stiffened and he turned his head towards the door where Zim waltzed out of a few moments earlier. "Besides, I don't feel comfortable leaving you behind with Zim. He knows who you are and I don't want him pestering you. I don't want him hurting you. Besides, he has no business with you."

"I'm a big girl, I can hold my own against him if I have to."

He scowled as he continued to stare at the door. You were mildly surprised by the deep growl that came from his chest then slipped out of his mouth.

"I know you don't trust him," you said. "But let him be the least of your problems for now. You need him so you can get to Area 51 and get your ship back."

"I don't think you understand how I really feel," he said, disregarding what you had to say. "I know I was really stupid and unsure about it earlier. Now, I know how I really feel and what I really want."

"What are you talking about?"

He finally looked away from the structure's sole entrance and exit. It seemed like some of his anger melted away and was replaced by…something else. But when his eyes locked with yours, you found yourself unable to look away.

"I think you know what I'm talking about, babe," he said with a lady-killing smirk.

There was no time to blink, think or even blush. There was no time to even let those words fully sink in. A second after he said that last word, his mouth was atop yours.

You were beyond flabbergasted and squealed loudly into his mouth. His arms latched around you, pulling you closer to him and securing you to his lean but powerful frame. His antennae fluttered and twitched, showing off his eagerness. Purple kept up the kiss, keeping it firm and enjoying the plushness and warmth of your lips in the midst of the unheated, inhospitable shed.

Of course, you were beyond astonished that he did this. Internally, you were screaming, having been caught completely off guard. But it only took a few seconds for that shock to crumble away. While it was surprising, it was also soothing and calming. This wasn't something you necessarily disliked or didn't want to happen. Oh, you did want it. You just assumed it never would've come into fruition.

You allowed him to hold you close. Your own arms encircled around his shape, embracing him in return. Your lips puckered against his and you playfully pushed back on his. There definitely was a particular, unfamiliar twang to his taste but it wasn't unpleasant. You could also pick up on the sweetness of his mouth, undoubtedly thanks to his sugary diet.

Unexpected. But so welcome. This was nice.

About a minute or so passed and he finally drew his head back. Purple reared his head, his eyes wide and almost glowing in delight. He laughed quietly and still held you close to his body. His hands traced over your hips, admiring the contours of your shape.

"Wow!" he chuckled. "That was awesome!" For an instant, he appeared sheepish and he looked back at you. "Did I do that right? That kissing thing you Earthlings do..? Was it good?"

"Yeah…" you muttered shyly. “That was great.”

"Alright! I watched enough Humans kiss in movies, I knew I had it memorized and patted down! Let's do it again!"

When he lowered his head to kiss you again, he dealt you a ferocious headbutt instead. Your vision whited out for an instant and you let out a pained groan. Luckily, he still held you because if he didn't you were sure you'd be on your ass. Your hands flew up to your forehead and you cradled it gently in some effort to try to shake off or contain the pain.

The look on Purple's face was aghast and horrified. The headbutt hardly registered at all to him and he felt no pain. Judging from the noise that the impact made, to him, it sounded like your skull had been busted open.

"I'm sorry!" he said in a panicked voice. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! That was so stupid of me! I wasn’t careful!”

He climbed up onto the ATV and sat down on the seat. He kept you against him and rocked you in his arms. Gently, he pulled your hands away to survey the damage. There was already a lump forming there and he kissed it, this time being mindful and careful with not hitting you again.

"It's fine, I'm fine," you said weakly. "Just let me sit here…"

"This definitely isn't romantic…" he cringed. "I'm sorry, babe!"

"It's okay, Purple, calm down…"

Nervously, he fretted over it. But he continued to hold you in his lap, keeping you supported.

"It was supposed to be all suave and romantic," he muttered. "Now I broke your skull and I look like a clown! Kissing is hard!"

Despite the pain, you managed to laugh a little. It still hurt you but you weren't concussed or broke anything. It was just going to leave a nasty goose egg on your head. It'd go down eventually.

"Purple…" you sighed. "You know I feel the same way you do. I'm really into you. I want something to happen. I want us to get serious like this."

"Then let's do it," he said. His facade softened up a great deal and he gazed at you adoringly. "Let me court you. I don't care that we're not the same species. I don't want to pick another female. I want you!"

Now you really wished he didn't kiss you. At this point, you wanted him even more than you already did. You wanted him in return. This parting was going to be even more difficult and painful.

But the fact remained. For his own safety, he had to go. He had to leave and you had to stay behind where you belonged. There was no denying these things and you had to light a fire under it. No more time could be wasted.

"You have to leave," you said.

"Not without you," he reasserted. "You either come with me or I'll stay here with you. Maybe it's not so bad. I will kill anyone who comes here looking for trouble. I'm not gonna let them capture or kill me. I've got myself to protect and I have a female to watch out for too! I won't let anyone hurt you, babe."

"Don't throw everything away for me! Don't be stupid! Purple, you have to get out of here! If you stay here, it'll be easier for them to find you! If you run and move around, they'll have a harder time trying to find you! You'll be safer when you're with Red and your loyal servants! You have no one here! You refuse to let Zim to help you anyway so you have to go!"

"I need you! You gotta believe me! I need and want you so much!"

"Not that much…"

"Yes, I do need you! Why can't you see it?! The kiss wasn't enough? What else do I have to do to prove it to you?!"

"Don't break my heart further, Purple. Please, listen to me…" You rubbed his chin and kissed his cheek. "You've proven to me how you feel and you don't have to do or say anything else to show it. I believe you. But you have to understand that there are things we both have to do without each other. Besides, you knew you were going to leave Earth one way or another. You weren't going to stay here forever."

"It's not fair! I want and need to see you! I’m so used to you and I don’t want this to change..." He floundered about, trying his hardest to regain control of the situation. “Please!! Don’t make me beg!”

"Purple, I'm sure you can do better too. There are plenty of other females out there who would love to have your…attention and affection. They're far more available and obtainable than I am."

"What are you talking about?!" The look in his eyes tugged at your heartstrings. "I want you, I chose you! I know whom I want! I want my babe! That's you! I…" He started to choke up. "I can't even court you..? You're breaking up with me before our courtship could even start?! Tell me this is some kind of sick joke! Say sike!”

Yeah…that was the gist of it. Truly and deeply, you did want him. But it couldn't work out. You couldn't let him stay on Earth and end up risking himself even more. If it was a perfect world, of course there'd be no problem. But this was less than ideal. There was simply too much going on. Maybe you were an idiot for letting him kiss you. Maybe you should've stopped him and pulled the plug on it as soon as that happened.

You wanted to say something to him. You wanted to soothe him and try to make things right. But deep inside, you knew nothing would help. There was no sugar coating the situation.

Your lack of a response was enough for him. A strained, pitiful sob came from him and he scooted you off his lap. Purple was quick to get up off the ATV and hastily turned away from you. He made a beeline to the door and exited. His face was turned away from you and you could clearly tell he was avoiding all eye contact with you. The door slammed shut behind him and he left you to languish in the shed.

You ignored the watery burning in your eyes. Your chest tightened and you felt absolutely horrid. The pain in your head seemed to fade away and instead, you were overcome by shame, guilt, failure and sadness. Some illogical, romantic part of you wanted to run after him and make it right. You couldn't stand to see him so miserable and broken up. You wanted to kiss him and wave some magic wand to make it all better.

But it was for the best. It was tough love.

(Resisty occupied space)

"Oh, she is gone, there's no doubt about it. She's fallen off the face of the universe."

Lard Nar figured that was the case. The last time he heard about Lyn was when she was making her way to the Happy Nebula Clinic to question Naver. She left the medical facility in a rush and she was unable to be contacted from that point on. Not even Naver could get a hold of her anymore. It appeared that she had shuttered all of her communications and was unwilling to interact with anyone. It was almost as if she didn't exist.

"Our Irken recruits are wondering where she ran off to," the captain further explained. "They look up to her. A lot of them joined us because of her… Do you think she suffered a glitch and rejoined the Empire? That thing on her back was going haywire."

"No," the Vortian leader shook his head, his tendrils moving as he did so. "She would never do something like that. Lyn is insane but she wouldn't ever return to the Empire. She is too determined to eliminate the Tallest. She will never forgive them and she lives to see her old allies destroyed."

"She happens to go off radar the instant Tallest Red makes his return? Isn't that too obvious that something is happening?"

"Yes, it just means she abandoned her duties to us so she could totally devote her time and resources to hunting them down. She either is trying to get to Red or she's searching for Purple. It's one of those two things."

"I mean, this is desertion. Shouldn't we try to bring her in and arrest her or something?"

"No. We can't afford that. I saw her react the way she did when she found out Red returned. She is out to get both of them. She's still on our side even if she's no longer directly cooperating with us."

"I see your point, sir…"

Lard Nar set a hand on the shoulder of the younger, Vortian captain. He patted it and lightly squeezed it.

"We need all the help we can get, soldier," the Resisty leader reminded his junior officer. "Let her do her thing. We still need to focus on retaking Irken strongholds and destroying snack and weapon stockpiles."

"And what if we run into Lyn again?" the captain persisted. "What's the order?"

Honestly, Lard Nar was unsure. Clearly, Lyn had lost whatever was left of her mind. The explosion that almost claimed her life scarred her physically and dealt more damage to her already ruining PAK, making her even more mentally unstable than she already was. It was very possible that there was no way to figure out what she would be like if she crossed paths with them in the future. Lard Nar wished he could give a concrete answer but he had none. He simply didn’t know.

It wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility that she might very well see everyone around her as an enemy. Lyn could end up turning on her Resisty allies. Anyone who could potentially get in her way was fair game. Her biggest and most important mission of all time was what mattered the most. And Lard Nar knew she would fulfill it no matter what. She'd see it through to the bitter end.

"Stay out of her way," he finally said. "Let her complete her mission."

Chapter Text

Chapter 19 Apart

(…)

It felt like you lingered in there for five centuries but in reality, it was only a few minutes. Time trickled by arduously. You had no strength to get up and move or do anything else really. You sat on your quad like a lump on a log. And so far, it felt like you were going to sit in that shed for the rest of the night.

Blankly, you stared at the shed door, half hoping he would barge back in and whisk you away. But deep inside, you knew he wasn't going to come back. You blew it yet you reminded yourself you never had a choice to begin with. There was no chance that this little crush could ever be fulfilled. Maybe you were a huge idiot for even trying to entertain the thought. It would never happen.

You kept telling yourself those things. You kept trying to reassure yourself, remembering it was for the best. The differences were too drastic, the distance was too vast… Nothing was in your favor. It was best to let it die and move on. That was the only real option that you had.

You'd be alone again. Yet you had your job and life would resume its normal course. It would be like the times before the Tallest showed up on your doorstep. Those times were good, peaceful and routine. But they were without him.

"Get over it," you scolded yourself. "You've gone through worse. You're an idiot for falling for that man to begin with. This is a harsh lesson learned. Don't fall in love with men from other planets."

You kept trying to empower and lift yourself up from the misery you were feeling. Being heartbroken and washed up over the ordeal would do you no good. There was no logic in dwelling over something so silly like this. You were an adult woman and you had to act like one. However, it was so much easier said than done.

He would haunt you. That kiss would forever remain imprinted in your mind. Everything felt so good. It was all in the palm of your hand. It was yours to claim. And you threw it all away. But it was the responsible thing to do. It was the smartest, wisest and hardest choice you ever made. From the look of it, it was also the most painful one as well.

You released a heavy, drawn out sigh.

"Watch, he'll blow up the Earth since I denied him," you muttered. "Fantastic."

You hoped he'd understand. Indeed, he was immature and he could be quite the slacker and glutton. In your eyes, you hoped this whole thing would open up his eyes and make him a more responsible and driven individual. It would be for his own good. Plus, you reminded yourself that he'd move on eventually. There was also the chance he'd forget about you by the end of the week and he'd find some other female lifeform to obsess and fawn over.

Creatures of Irk and Earth weren't meant to intermingle. They were far too different. Humans were too emotional and Irken were too stunted. One race was completely ignorant and blissfully unaware of all the conflict and strife happening in their interstellar backyard. The other was bent on domination and eradication. All in all, it was an ugly and ill match. Nothing good would ever come about from an intimate relationship with an Irken. Especially if said Irken was one of the leaders of his people. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

You made the right choice. You had to have. And yet here you were, regretting it all.

It was time to move on. Purple wasn't going to be coming back. There was no sense in acting upset and broken up over it. You couldn't afford to act so pathetic and petty over this mess.

"Man up, woman," you sighed.

You sighed again and finally slid off of your ATV. You were going to go inside, take a long, hot shower, pet your animals and go to bed. And you were probably more than likely going to burn your couch in the morning. Or sell it. Whatever got it out of your life all the more quickly.

You almost leapt out of your skin when you saw the door starting to open slowly. A sharp gasp slipped past your mouth and your eyes widened. Maybe he was coming back after all.

"Purple?" you asked, some hope seeping into your voice. "Are you there?"

Your blood almost turned into solid ice when the door opened all the way. Instead of the tall, green Irken, there was a small shape. Except it wasn't Zim. No, this was an Earthling. This was someone you had seen before and were familiar with. But this was one of the last people you wanted to see.

And he didn't look happy.

"No, it's not your boyfriend," Dib dourly stated.

"Dib..?" you asked. Your voice was so muted and mousy it was almost like you didn't even really speak. "What-what're you doing here? Why are you on my property at this hour?"

"I'm glad I listened to my gut instinct. I knew something was fishy with you."

"I don't know what you're talking about, kid."

"You know I've been dealing with Zim for awhile now. He's been spying on me but I've been doing the same thing too! I placed a tracking device on Zim's spaceship and I followed him to here. Imagine that. So, I laid low and stuck around here."

You were terrified. You had no idea that a mere child would freak you out as much as he did. You knew that he knew what you were up to. Honestly, you didn't know whether playing dumb was a good idea or not. Perhaps it was totally pointless and detrimental to lie and try to cover your tracks. This kid was the real deal and it petrified you.

"Imagine how shocked I was when I saw you pull up with two aliens in your truck," he said. "And it looks like I found out who the missing alien menace was. I had no idea it was one of the Almighty Tallest Zim spoke so much about!"

As far as you were concerned, your fate was sealed. There was nothing you could do to try to sway or convince him otherwise. This paranoid, determined kid far surpassed your expectations and assumptions. You had no idea he was this devoted and dead set with rooting out the Irken presence on Earth. If you weren't tied up in the middle of this mess, you would've applauded him.

"So, are you on their side?" he demanded. "Because it sure seems like it to me."

"Dib," you started out slowly and cautiously, "I sheltered him because he asked me to. He didn't harm anyone or anything while he was under my roof. Let him go, okay?"

"You think I can let this happen? This is my chance to expose the alien presence to the world! Finally, everyone will believe me! And besides, we can understand and better prepare for the Armada's arrival to Earth!"

"You want to turn him in because it'll validate you? Are you serious?"

"You must want them to destroy the Earth! I should've figured as much after I saw you two…smooching!" He shuddered in disgust. That image was seared into his retinas for eternity. "You're a traitor to your planet!"

"You little creep!" Now your apprehension and terror were being overthrown by anger. "That was a very private moment! And no, I convinced him to not destroy the Earth! I promise you I simply refuse to let him do it!"

"You think I can trust you?! I caught you swapping spit with the Tallest!"

"Look, I know I seem like a traitor but I'm not! I don't want my planet enslaved or obliterated. Do you honestly think I'd want something like that?!"

"I caught you fraternizing with the enemy!" Dib smirked mischievously. "Video evidence actually."

A wave of horror washed over you and you gaped at him in sheer disbelief. Shame and terror fully encompassed you and you were at a loss for words. This kid was determined and good. Too good. It was scary with how prepared and poised he was. You couldn't believe that you had once underestimated and brushed him off a few months earlier. Now he was a bigger threat to you than the actual government.

"Delete it, now!" you demanded.

"I don't think so," he said smugly.

"Please!"

"Give me one reason to do it."

"Because you can't let anyone else see this! You and Zim are the only ones who know Purple is here and I don't want him to get hurt! Not only that, I can't afford to lose my livelihood and my house! Come on, Dib… you can't be that much of a little monster."

"Maybe I can do something about it. I mean, I know Zim and the Tallest are going to Area 51. I already phoned them in and gave them a tip."

"You did what?!"

"I let them know an alien was coming in."

"I hope they thought you were a prank caller and they ignore everything you had to say."

In the beginning, you felt pity for Dib. You felt a bit protective over him and granted him some leniency because he was a kid. You even sheltered him in your house when the federal agents were trying to hunt him down. Your initial impression of him wasn't that bad.

But now your perception of him was changing. He was ruthless and wasn't afraid to sabotage and potentially ruin your life. He was actively blackmailing you. If he was a full-grown adult, you probably would've socked him in the mouth by now. This kid, who was easily a decade younger than you, was trying to intimidate you and gain the upper hand on you. There was a darker side to this youth you had no idea about until this very moment. You wished you would've found out about it sooner. If you had, you would've happily handed him over to the authorities months earlier.

"What benefit do you have with ruining my life?" you asked, narrowing your eyes.

"That's if you don't cooperate with me," Dib retorted.

"What do you want?"

"Tell me everything he told you about the Armada. Tell me about their weaknesses and what they plan to do next!"

In your eyes, you saw there was no real harm in telling him about the Irken schism that was going on. Earth wasn't caught in the middle of this intergalactic conflict and you dearly hoped it would remain that way. You would tell him what you knew about it. Purple indeed did tell you about it but Dib didn't need to know all the details. You just needed to make him happy to the point where he wouldn't turn you in to the authorities and use that video as evidence against you.

"Before I tell you anything, you gotta do something for me," you said.

"You're in no position to barter but I'm listening I guess," the paranormal enthusiast answered.

"Show me that video. I need to know you're not bluffing or trying to trick me."

Dib fished a device out of his pocket. With a shit-eating grin, he pulled up the video file he took and stepped closer, showing it to you. There, on the screen, clear as day, were you and Purple kissing.

Son of a bitch. He wasn't lying.

(somewhere in the Nevada desert)

"…that horrible, infuriating, infernal Dib-thing always gets in my way! His very existence mocks me! And he doesn't believe my new mission! He still thinks I'm up to no good! I told him I have to protect the Earth because you told me to!" Zim snarled angrily. "He doesn't believe the word of ZIM!!! Anyway, there's also…"

Purple didn't pay attention to anything Zim had to say. The small Irken didn't even notice how much of a change his mood went through. He only sat in silence, letting Zim rant and rave. The Tallest hardly even acknowledged his presence and could only dwell on his thoughts.

He was beyond disappointed. Purple was also angry but more than anything else, he was downtrodden and saddened. He had failed. He failed to convince the Earthling to come with him. She refused to go. He had to leave without her and it bothered him something horribly. Somehow, he had to try to get her to go with him.

There was no denying how he felt. Without a doubt, he wanted and needed her. He was definitely a defective for getting so attached to this Earth woman but he couldn't help it. Yet he didn't care and he would defend his choice regardless of whoever might call him out on it.

All he knew was that he couldn't bear the thought of leaving her behind. It was unacceptable. Besides, he wasn't going to depart and leave her alone with Zim. There was no way he could accept that. Zim was too much of a risk and not only that, the thought of another Irken male with her, without his supervision, maddened him far more deeply than he ever thought possible. Zim had to be out of the picture.

"Maybe I should just kill him," he thought. "Or I could just suck it up and bring him with me. Ugh, I must be desperate if I'm gonna do something like that… I'll bring him with me and just tell him to wipe out the Resisty. He'll figure out some way to do it. But that's too risky. He has to stay on Earth so he doesn't ruin things out there! I don't know what to do! I just know I can't leave him on Earth with her. She won't be safe."

He imagined this was what Red went through whenever Pax was alive. All these confusing, new feelings and the desire to be with the one he chose. When he'd reunite with his longtime friend, he'd definitely ask for his help and input. As far as he knew, he wasn't going to screw it up. This was something he knew for certain he wanted and needed.

And everything he promised and said earlier was earnest and true. He meant it all. He wanted this beautiful, strong, warm, smart, independent Earth creature on his arm and he knew he'd go insane if he couldn't have her. He wanted to feel her, smell her, see her, hear her… And judging from the kiss he shared, he wanted to taste more of her too. Purple couldn't believe this alien had wormed her way into the cuckolds of his spooch. Maybe he should've and would've felt disgusted about it but he didn't care.

He'd get his vessel and return. He'd have to figure out something to win her over. He had no clue what he could do to convince her to go with him but he'd have to think of something. Forcing her wasn't something he preferred as he knew she didn't react well to that sort of coercion. He wanted her to willingly leave with him. Something about that seemed more fulfilling and satisfactory instead of force. Not only that, he didn't want her to be angry with him for throwing her over his shoulder and whisking her away. No, she'd probably snap his spine for attempting that.

The Massive might be a bit dangerous and tricky but he'd keep her safe. He wouldn't let any traitors or Resisty members lay a hand on her. She would be carefully guarded and he would personally protect her if it came down to it. If any of his subjects objected to his courting, they had a one-way ticket with the airlock. He wouldn't tolerate insubordination or let anyone disrespect her. She was his chosen interest and that was final.

"…and GIR! My Tallest, I don't mean to complain about him because you have so graciously gifted him to me but he is difficult! Before I left to meet you, I caught him making mashed potatoes with a filthy pig! I just hope he listened to my directions and is watching after my beautiful base in my absence!"

"Zim, when you drop me off at Area 51, you can leave," Purple finally spoke. "I won't need your help after that."

"But, sir, I must remain nearby to make sure you all goes well! I must make sure you are safe when you go to reclaim your ship."

"I'm going back for the Earth woman. She refused to go with me so I have to try harder to convince her."

Zim looked astonished at that bit of information. His eyes grew larger.

"She dared to deny you, my Tallest?" he asked, sounding scandalized. "She can't do that! She must obey you!" His antennae pricked upwards. "Allow Zim to speak with her and make her go with you!"

"I don't think so," Purple interjected. "I have to do this, Zim. You won't help things at all. She's my problem. Besides, I want to persuade her, not force her."

"Why? Forcing is so much easier!"

"Because…because it's more of a challenge the other way!"

"But, sir, she's your servant. If she was a good servant, she would obey your commands and do as you wish."

"It's a little more complicated than that!" Purple snapped, baring his fangs at Zim. "Besides, she's not my servant!"

"Of course she is, my Tallest!"

"Did I stutter?!"

Zim shrunk back into his seat ever so slightly. He averted his eyes from his Tallest to make sure the autopilot mode was still locked onto its destination. When he saw everything was alright and no longer needed checked on, he was reluctant to lock gazes with the larger Irken.

"Did I?!" Purple barked.

"No, sir," Zim said quietly. Then a thought suddenly occurred to him. He pointed accusingly at his leader. "You've mated with the female, my Tallest!"

"No!" Purple sputtered at the vulgar suggestion and his face turned a deep, dark green tone. "How dare you accuse me of that! I didn't do it!"

"Excuse me, my Tallest but… YOU'RE LYING!"

"I think I would've remembered if I mated with her! Get a grip, Zim!"

"She used her filthy female tricks to seduce you, sir! I had no idea that the Earth women were so dangerous! I wish I could've seen it long ago! If only I was there to save you before it could happen!"

"ZIM! I didn't do it, okay?! Chill out!"

He couldn't believe Zim had the insanity and audacity to claim such a thing. Purple was pretty sure he would remember such an act if it actually happened. His blush continued to remain plainly displayed as he dared to even think about mating. The things he had seen from watching that porn some time ago didn't help matters any further.

In all actuality, it was quite similar to how Irken reproduced before the age of PAKs and smeeteries. He knew very little about such ancient times obviously but he knew enough about it to know what it was and what it exactly did. Perhaps if they were to mate, it wouldn't be so difficult. It seemed easy enough from what he watched. Besides, it would undoubtedly be a long ride and it would take some time to rejoin the Armada…

"You're thinking about it!" Zim declared.

"I'm not!" Purple argued. This time, it was a lie.

"Sir, we must turn around and destroy her! I must free you from her putrid grip!"

"You turn around and try it and I swear, Zim, I will literally eat you! She didn't brainwash me! I consciously chose to court her and that's it! Drop it and forget about it! She is mine and I won't let you lay a finger on her! I will end you!"

"Well, if you put it like that…okay!" Zim smiled and nodded his head. "I understand, my Tallest! But isn't that..?"

"Something a defective would do? Yeah and I don't care. I'm a defective and so are you, Red and everyone from our generation. Whatever. Just shut up, Zim."

"We're here!"

Purple looked out of the retractable windshield, seeing the lights and structures of the infamous installation below. He eyed up the zone, knowing he had to do one thing and one thing only. He'd try to get in peacefully and avoid fighting to minimize injuries to himself. Perhaps he could trick them. Maybe this would be a piece of cake.

"Lower the ship and I'll get to them on foot," Purple instructed.

"Understood, my Tallest," Zim saluted. "I will remain nearby in case if you need assistance."

"I thought I…" He sighed and shook his head. "Never mind. Thanks, Zim. Stay out of my way."

(a few minutes later)

"Ya got any fives?"

"Go fish!"

"Doh, not fair!"

The guard drew a card from the deck. He added the card to his hand and looked back at his partner.

"So, who was on the phone earlier?"

"That weird Dib kid. He said an alien was going to show up at our front gate."

"Pft! I don't know about that. I know we got some weird stuff in the warehouses and labs but an alien? No! That would be a pretty cool addition to the collection!"

"Yeah, I guess. But it would never beat the cute Chupacabra puppies. They're the sweetest, most adorable things! …until they nibble too hard."

"I don't know, I think larval vampire bees are pretty close to the puppies in cuteness. So, what else did that freakish kid say?"

"Some alien leader was supposed to come here and turn himself in. I hung up as soon as he finished explaining himself. I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying. He's crazy."

"Didn't he try to break in a year ago to try to see if we were resurrecting dinosaurs? I know I was off that day."

"Oh, yeah. But he got the wrong facility. The people at Area 52 are in charge of dinosaur de-extinction. They have a T-rex. I heard they made some weird turkey-raptor hybrid too. Glenn showed me pictures of it last week. I think they're gonna try to market them as pets in the next decade or so."

"I don't want a turkey-raptor as a pet, give me a T-Rex!"

"You're not getting the one at the lab. I heard it can recite Shakespearean sonnets and it's pretty good at making pottery despite having those tiny arms."

"Yeah, those arms are pretty pathetic, aren't they?"

"Excuse me, anyone there?"

The two guards immediately threw their cards down when they heard the unexpected, unfamiliar voice. They poked their heads out of their booth, irked that their card game and conversation was interrupted.

"Hey, bucko, this is private government land and you're trespassing!" one said.

"Yeah, so, turn around and hit the road, chump!" the other snickered.

Both guards ended up tripping over their tongues when they finally realized whom they were addressing. Their jaws dropped when they saw a tall, skinny, green creature standing at the front gate. Although they weren't standing right beside him, both could tell that he towered over each of them. He had large, purple, insect-like eyes and had two black antennae on the back of his head. He wore some sort of long, regal-looking, purple robes and he looked like he was arguably important.

"Uh, hi," Purple waved. "Can you let me in? I'm, uh, turning myself in. Take me to your leader? Maybe?"

Once the pair recovered from their initial shock, they clambered out of their booth and skittered over to the unearthly visitor. One stood on Purple's left and the other on the right, flanking him. They puffed their chests out and tried to stand as tall as they could, trying to look serious and not to be trifled with.

The Tallest thought their display was adorable. They almost reminded him of smeets trying to make themselves look bigger. He easily had two feet over them as well which only tickled him further.

"Hey, are you the alien who crash landed a few months ago?" one of them asked. "The pilot was never found and the scientists have been wondering if you even existed or not!

"Yeah," Purple retorted.

"We've got your ship here! Follow us and we'll take you to it! We'll add you to the collection of cool stuff in Area 51!"

"Oh, I'd be honored. Show me the way!"

They walked alongside him, ushering him towards the entrance to the facility. Purple allowed them to escort him, letting them guide him towards whoever or whatever laid ahead. Maybe if he was patient and friendly enough with these creatures, he'd get to his ship all the more quickly. It was worth a shot.

So far, it was going according to plan.

(the Massive)

He knew Zim was a titanic, reckless idiot. But this? Oh, this was just beyond stupid.

As soon as he so carelessly told everyone on the control bridge that Purple had been hiding out on Earth, he cut the transmission. After he blocked Zim from making contact again, he reassured all of the technicians, pilots and other personnel in that room that Zim was indeed insane. Anything and everything that came out of his mouth wasn't to be taken seriously. He assured them there was no way their other Tallest was stuck on that dismal planet with Zim. There was just no way.

Yet Red knew the truth. He wouldn't take the risk. He had a sinking feeling Purple was indeed on Earth. Zim wouldn't just randomly make a claim like this unless if it was true. That's what scared him the most. His co-Tallest must've been desperate, stupid or both if he actually decided on hiding out on Earth. He could only imagine the torment Zim was subjecting him to.

Red was very tempted to reach out to his friend. He wanted to privately message him, telling him to get the heck off of Earth to make sure no secret traitors would try to come after him. But he was also concerned and scared, afraid he would end up condemning him by attempting communication.

The Tallest was holed up within his quarters. He was hiding beneath his bed, feeling safe under there despite how juvenile he felt. No one could look at him or find him so easily and it was a strange refuge of sorts. He already had retreated to his chambers and wasn't to be disturbed either way but going the extra mile with this privacy helped to soothe him.

He eyed up a simple brown box that was stowed away under his bed, feeling a bit reluctant to open it. It lain a few feet away from where he was resting but it was well within his reach. There were some contents inside of it that were rather sensitive. They were comforting in their own way but at the same time, it also dampened his spirits. It was bittersweet if anything.

He huffed and drew the box closer to him. The Tallest briefly nibbled on his lower lip and hesitated. But he had to peek. He had to recollect. He had to.

Gingerly, he removed the lid. He peered into the container, seeing three objects resting at the bottom. They were things he had personally crafted with his own two hands. It was a hobby of sorts for him. They were a bit rough and crude but they were recognizable enough and had their own distinct features and colors.

Red quietly looked at the puppets, a bit unsure of how to feel. Seeing them was indeed nostalgic but it also hurt to see them again.

"You're exactly as I left you," he said softly. "Untouched."

Two of the puppets were of himself and Purple. They were easily distinguishable and would be recognized by any Irken who saw them.

The third was different.

As if it was made of the most brittle glass in the universe, Red carefully lifted the third puppet out of the box. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his eyes of the extra fluid building up in their corners. His chest tightened and he longingly stared at the figure.

The puppet was clearly modeled after a female Irken, displaying her curled antennae and long, winged eyelashes. The "clothes" were colored dark green and magenta. Her eyes were ruby red, colored similarly like many others of her species. The puppet was in almost pristine condition and didn't have some of the wear and tear the effigies of himself and Purple had.

"Hey, Pax," he quietly said. "I promise, I didn't forget about you. It's just nice to see you again…even if it's in puppet form."

He was rewarded no time to grieve. Grief and mourning were things all Irken weren't expected to understand and feel. It was an inconvenience, a weakness. It did more harm than good and got in the way of progress. Yet Red couldn't help it. When she perished, it hurt him immensely. It still pained him to this day.

She was callously killed and she was defiled further even after she was dead. Red had no body to even look at. All that was left of the tall technician were shredded pieces and hunks of flesh. The only intact likeness he had of her was this cloth creation and the memories.

"I told you to stay away from her, Pax," he continued to speak. "But no, you had to step in. You had to try to repair her PAK for her. She wanted you dead so badly but it didn't faze you in the slightest. You were so blind to it… I think that's something I liked about you. You never backed down from a challenge. You wanted to fix what was broken. You thought you could repair her. She tricked you. She tricked me too."

He hugged the puppet of Pax to his abdomen. He curled up around it, snuggling with it. Red clutched it tightly to him, looking much like a child with their beloved teddy bear. It wasn't the living, breathing female he had grown so attached to but it was better than nothing. Some comfort was better than nothing.

He felt lost and he continued to feel that way. Purple was completely foreign to this sort of relationship and Red knew he had no input to offer. His co-Tallest never courted anyone and to him, it was likely that would remain that way. Maybe Purple was a better and more efficient Irken than he was. Maybe he was more ideal Tallest material. He wasn't suffering from a metaphorical broken heart. Red appreciated the sympathy and support his friend offered in the midst of Pax's murder but he could tell Purple wasn't sure how to handle the situation. But he wouldn't hold it against him.

"You're gone. And I'm afraid Purple will end up like you. I'm afraid the same crazy harpy will do him in. I can't let that happen. Pax, I'll never forgive myself or her for this. I already took a blow because of you. If Purple kicks the bucket, I don't know if I can continue. I lost my chosen one… I can't lose my best friend. I can't lose both of you. I know I'm a defective… But I can't stop the way I feel. I wish I could."

He hoped Purple would put two and two together and escape while the getting was good. He knew his counterpart could be dense and naïve but he trusted and knew he had a shred of self-preservation. Red knew what he was capable of and he didn't doubt Purple was still a soldier at heart and could quickly revert to that mindset at the drop of a hat. But he hoped he would move on.

For now, he had to trust in Purple and let him do what was necessary. In the meantime, he had to squash the Resisty. And most importantly, he had to extinguish the scorned female that ruined his life. For every second that she continued to live was another insult to Pax's memory.

Chapter Text

Chapter 20 Uncomfortable Company

(Area 51)

Wherever he went, there was a hustle and bustle. Purple caught himself smirking, amused by the astonished and flabbergasted looks the various personnel and staff wore when they saw him. All too easily and clearly, they could see he wasn't of this world. This was their first, living, breathing alien in their workplace and most of them were stunned into stillness. This was the first, organic extraterrestrial being that ever graced their presence. Many of them only stared at him as he walked past them, unsure of what to do or say or think.

The two guards who were escorting him even kept looking him over and over. They appeared to be just as fascinated by him as everyone else. Normally, he felt a bit annoyed when someone stared too long at him but the surprise and shock these Earthlings had in their eyes made it tolerable. He got a kick out of their inexperience with their intergalactic neighbors. He could only imagine how they'd react if they saw the other freaks that were spread out amongst the cosmos. Perhaps they'd die of shock.

"You gotta understand something, buddy," one of his escorts explained. "We've never seen something like you before! I mean, we all heard about little, green men from Mars… We didn't realize there were ginormous aliens like you! You're so tall!"

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Purple scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"We got all sorts of weird and crazy things found on Earth here," the other guard chimed in. "We got Chupacabras, vampire bees, a Dogman, and a colony of leprechauns just to name the things I can recite off the top of my head. But you!" He laughed. "You see, now that you surrendered to us, you gotta stay here!"

"Oh, no, I fully understand!" Purple smiled, playing along with them. He had to stop himself from laughing out loud at their stupidity. "I can play by the rules!"

"Don't sweat it, tall guy, you'll live like a king here. You can tell us all about that ship of yours and help us understand your species, where you came from and all that jazz! And I promise, we won't dissect you! That's what x-rays, MRIs, and stuff like that pops in. But if you happen to die while here, sorry, your body is fair game."

"Fair enough. I mean, you two are so accommodating already! I never realized how helpful and chill Humans are. I'm sure you'll treat me well while I'm here. I mean, I realize I'll never get back to where I came from, so I figured I might as well get comfy on Earth!"

"Excellent choice! But before we get you settled in, you gotta check in with one of the main bosses of the base! She's the curator of our living asset collection! Her name is Doctor Jones. I think you'll get along with her just fine!"

The three males ceased their conversation and they continued to walk along the long, brightly lit corridor. Purple's head twisted left to right, taking in his surroundings and memorizing it as much as he could. He might have to remember his bearings if his plan backfired. The hallway was littered with doors and holding cells of some sort, most likely restraining and containing the strange denizens the guards described. He had to admit, this place was strange and he likened it to some sort of half sanctuary, half prison. And as far as he knew, he wasn't intending on staying here. He had some far more important things to take care.

He was shaken out of his thoughts and observations when he heard an alarm blaring. A red light bathed the corridor and he tensed, sensing that danger was afoot. His head was on a swivel and he looked around, seeking any sort of threat that might've been approaching.

Purple's eyes pinned on some activity he saw out of the corner of his eye. Behind him, he could see several people in white suits, most likely scientists, rushing into a room. There were easily half a dozen of these individuals and they looked like they were in a mighty big rush. The Tallest's antennae twitched in anticipation as he heard some creature release a shrill screech and it was mixed in with the shouts of the staff.

"Eh, don't sweat it," one of the guards brushed it off.

"What is that?" Purple demanded, wanting to know what he might end up having to deal with.

"It's Doctor Oreg's experiment," the other filled in. "He created some sort of monster that's made up from the DNA of Humans, sharks, scorpions, jellyfish and some other animals."

"Um, why?"

"Because he thought it was cool. That and he wanted to create an 'ultimate lifeform'. It's not done developing yet and it keeps breaking out of its tube. This happens at least five days a week. It's pretty normal."

Purple was perplexed. These Humans must've been idiots.

"…okay," Purple said, feeling out of place.

"Doctor Jones' office is just ahead," the guard said.

Indeed, at the end of the impossibly long hall, was a single door. There was a plaque on the door that read in big, clear letters "Doctor Carmilla Jones".

A minute later, the guards stopped at the foot of the door and knocked on it. Purple stayed behind them, wondering what horrors he was going to be presented with next. He'd deal with this Doctor Jones just so he could get his ship back. He'd trick the people here and leave. He was kind of on a tight schedule anyway.

"Enter!" a shrill but aged voice cried out.

Purple cringed at the volume of it but sucked it up. He had to go through with this.

One of the guards opened the door and ushered the Tallest in. Purple stepped into the dimly lit office, immediately catching onto the smell of…something burning? Whatever it was, it was horrible and he wanted to throw up.

While he was distracted by the strange smell, he was oblivious to the figure sitting at a large, messy, chaotic desk in the middle of the room.

"What is that?!" the scientist practically screamed. "Actually, who is that?!"

Purple blinked at the noise, finally catching sight of the Doctor. The Earthling was a small, old thing. The Tallest reckoned she was taller than most of the short Irken he knew but she was definitely punier in comparison to some of the taller members of his species. Her frame was thin and wizened. Her hair was snow white and up in a tight bun. The huge, thick glasses she wore seemed to magnify her eyes, showing off her hazel irises. She was easily in her late seventies but it wasn't out of the realm of her possibly being in her eighties; she was clearly elderly. In fact, she looked like one of the mummies he had seen on a science show he watched some months ago. Despite her tiny, withered shape, she had a powerful voice and that warned him she most likely wasn't to be taken lightly.

"Uh, Doctor Jones," one of the duo introduced, "this is the alien that our research team never located. You know, the one whose ship crashed a while back in…"

"Ah!" Doctor Jones said, flashing a smile that displayed her false teeth. "He's the one, eh? We've been looking for you, young man!" She hopped out of her chair and walked around her desk to get a better and closer look at the Irken emperor. "Wow, you're so tall! And handsome too!"

Purple shuddered at that particular statement. The smile he gave her was clearly strained and forced but it was likely that the Earthlings weren't aware of that.

"Uh, and you're, uh, really old," he said, chuckling nervously.

"Welcome, welcome!" Doctor Jones said enthusiastically. She took one of his hands without warning and vigorously shook it. "Wow! I can't believe it! I'm an old crone and I was starting to doubt if I was ever going to meet a real visitor from beyond the stars! What's your name?"

"Uh, Purple…"

"Don't be shy, dear! You're in good hands here! I take care of every single living thing that comes in through this place. We do have your ship and we've been attempting to reverse engineer it with little luck… But if we cannot figure your technology out, then perhaps we'll have an easier time with you."

Purple felt beyond uncomfortable. He wasn't sure if it was him being suspicious and wary of his surroundings or something else but to him, her words were somewhat ominous. If it came down to it, he was going to pull all the stops out and escape one way or another. He had absolutely no intention of being a pampered prisoner. Already, this hag was giving him the creeps. If she was going to get in his way, he was going to go right through her if it came down to it.

This might've been a female Earthling but at first glance, she certainly didn't look like one to him. Just looking at her made him crave his chosen Human all the more. At least she smelled nice, was taller, prettier and didn't look half mummified.

"S-sure!" Purple grinned. "If you take me to my ship, I can show you how you can fix it and what needs done!"

Deep inside, he hoped it was intact. Red was the pilot, not him. Red could probably physically build a ship from scratch, fully customize it, and have it fly through a sun and not have it melt or malfunction. His co-Tallest was definitely the more technologically minded out of the two of them.

As for him? There was a reason why he barely passed his piloting lessons. He knew the basics but now Purple found himself doubting if he could repair it himself if it turned out these beasts ruined his vessel. It didn't occur to him until that very moment that he might be in a far more precarious situation than he previously deemed. He might very well be marooned on Earth if it was the worst case scenario.

"Wonderful!" Dr. Jones squeaked. "I'm so very looking forward to getting to know you, Purple. Do get comfy and don't be afraid to ask for anything. And please…" She winked at him. "Call me Carmilla."

…he was definitely going to be emptying his spooch out before leaving this nightmarish place.

She grasped onto one of his hands with surprising strength. She kept close to him and guided him out of her office. Her large, almost magnified eyes gazed at him in wonder and adoration.

"So, tell me all about you!" she almost demanded. "Don't hold back, just keep talking! I want to know everything! Are you composed of carbon? Perhaps you're more based on silicon or some other element? Oh, I can't wait to get moving with the testing! We'll have so much to talk about, we can write a book about it!" She paused. "Actually, no, that's classified information… Heh, fine by me! I'll be happy to keep all these secrets to myself!"

Purple grudgingly but dutifully followed, feeling his skin crawl. He had to keep up with this masquerade. He couldn't blow his cover.

(…)

Carefully, you watched the footage Dib managed to capture on his recording device. You had to admit, you would've been impressed and applauded his dedication but considering you were the victim in this, you felt so violated and offended. Shame filled very single nook and cranny and you couldn't believe he actually recorded the whole exchange. You were frozen solid as you reviewed it, disbelieving it had actually come down to this. This kid was poised to sabotage and potentially ruin your life.

You let out a steady, heavy sigh when you revisited those moments with Purple. When you heard it coming from this device, it somehow seemed like the perspective was different. Were you really acting like that much of a bitch towards the Tallest that wooed you? You were pretty certain you weren't that terse and brief with him. You couldn't stand to hear that hurt and sorrowful tone in his voice. It filled you with anxiety and regret. But you had to remind yourself it had to be for the best. It would be for the best for the both of you.

"You think you can lie to me?" Dib persisted. You looked up from the screen and faced him. "I've got my eye on you, traitor."

"Kid, you've really got nothing better to worry about?" you countered. "Shouldn't you be making science fair projects? Or studying for your spelling test?"

"There's no time for any of that! There's no time for that when you're the sole defender of Earth!"

"Pardon me, I think I have it under control. You can chill out and make your macaroni art."

"He said he was going to take over the Earth! And he was going to make you rule it as his puppet!"

"Listen to me very closely…" You loomed over him, wanting to intimidate him and consider making him back off. "These are adult matters, okay? I know for a fact that this planet can't combat the likes of the Armada. Things are going to get extremely ugly if people resist. They want our snacks and I think there's no harm in sharing that food with them. If they want some soda, give it to them! We have too much junk food anyway!"

"But you dumped him, do you think he's going to listen to you? He's an alien menace! He's one of the Tallest! Whatever they have in mind will not be good!"

"I won't let him destroy or devastate this planet. I swear, I won't let it happen. This planet is my home and I'd like it intact."

The both of you stared at each other, quietly evaluating one another. He didn't trust you and you reciprocated the same feeling. In the pit of your stomach, you had a feeling this wasn't going to end well. He seemed like he wasn't going to be placated and wasn't going to believe a word you had to say. In his eyes, you were the enemy and most likely a threat like his nemesis.

"I like peace, I like quiet, my planet and my life," you reiterated. "I won't let him ruin things. I had him in my house since October and I can promise you, he did nothing wrong the whole time I had him there. He didn't abduct anyone, anal probe a squirrel or anything weird or evil. I pretty much babysat him, okay? I taught him about Earth and showed him there's much more to this planet. He won't destroy Earth because he realized some things."

"But what if he decided to go back on what he said?" Dib questioned. "What if he decided to destroy the Earth?"

"Then I wouldn't let it happen! I would do everything in my power to stop him! I wouldn't betray my planet or my species! Do you think I would so carelessly let my home get blown to kingdom come? Are you out of your goddamn mind, kid?!"

"What lengths would you go to stop him?!"

You didn't like what he was implying. You didn't like what he was possibly suggesting and the inflection in his voice. He was trying to get at you.

"Whatever it would take." That was the truth. You couldn't and wouldn't sacrifice your home because he wanted to be petty, spoiled and destroy your world. "I would do whatever was necessary to make Purple stop."

You did love him, that much you knew. You had no desire to imagine this horrible, hypothetical scenario but of course it seeped into your mind. It hurt you but you knew that if he was hellbent on vaporizing Earth, then you'd get in his way. And if he wanted to carry out that desire, he'd have to kill you first. He'd either have to kill you or you him. No matter what, it would end messily and unhappily.

"Your credibility is pretty shifty!" Dib added. "You may say that but will you follow through when the moment of truth comes? And how are you so sure that he actually cares about you? Zim's species isn't capable of love!"

"Kid, you're really starting to push my buttons," you angrily growled. "You shouldn't be making any judgment calls because you're a minor and you don't know shit about how things like this work! Besides, you're pretty creepy and shady and you've resorted to spying on people and blackmailing!"

"I can't trust you. You're too close to the Tallest. It's possible you might've been brainwashed by him. Trust me, I know what they're capable of and I know the Irken race isn't capable of anything good…"

"Sorry, but you have no option but to trust me."

"Convince me!"

You paused and gave him a stony, austere stare. Then you slapped the device out of hands. Dib flinched and let out a panicked cry. As soon as the tech fell to the floor you hastily began to stomp on it. You used the heel of your boot and placed as much weight and pressure on that point, fully intending to destroy it. You weren't going to let this kid ruin your life.

"No!" Dib cried out in anguish. "Why?!"

A satisfied smirk was shining brightly on your face. You continued to crush the device, not wanting to give up until it was in a thousand, tiny pieces.

"There, no evidence now!" you said. "Two can play at that game!"

"Take it back!" Dib demanded. "Stop it!"

He leapt forward and tackled you, knocking you off your feet. As soon as you landed on your back, he sat on your chest and began to choke you. You only allowed this to continue for a moment before you grasped onto him roughly with both hands and forcefully peeled him off. Then you jumped back up and abruptly chucked him towards the other side of the shed.

"Crazy little shit!" you muttered.

While you were free, you took your chance and bolted. You ran out of the shed and fled to your cabin. While you ran, you dug through your pocket for your keys and sifted through your lanyard for the correct one. You had no idea if he was at your heels but you didn't want to risk turning around and finding out.

As you got closer, you could hear Bambi barking loudly. He most likely heard the ruckus or sensed something was off. You could hear him pawing at the door even from afar.

You leapt up onto the porch and jammed your key into the lock. Swiftly and fluidly, you unlocked it and pushed it open. You shimmied past the hairy gatekeeper and slammed the door shut behind you. Then you locked it up and stood by it, anticipating Dib to be pounding on it at any second.

The large mutt jumped up, trying to lick your face and sensing your urgency. Quietly, he whined and turned his head to the side, knowing something was off.

"It's okay," you soothed him, rubbing his skull. "Get down, calm down, boy."

Dib didn't actually hurt you but what shocked you the most was that he attacked you. You've been kicked by deer two or three times before and that was far more painful than what he did to you. While he didn't harm you, it forced you to realize something. He was a legitimate threat. He tried to sabotage you and when you turned the tables on him, he reacted in this way. He was ready to take revenge and he took this matter very seriously.

You might've destroyed his precious evidence but you had a sinking feeling this wasn't going to stop him. In fact, this whole confrontation might add more fuel to the fire. He might end up turning more aggressive and bent on exposing you. He could potentially try to ruin your life. He'd try to take your house from you, get you fired, throw you into jail and end up losing your pets in the process. In your eyes, he was a little monster.

At this point, you weren't going to tolerate this any longer. He was trespassing and he attacked you. It was clear to you that he had no leash and he most likely had no adult supervision in his life. He was allowed to run free, terrorize folks and was out way past his bedtime. You fully intended to give this young man a rude awakening. And you really, really hoped this would get a hold of his negligent guardian's attention.

You grasped onto your cellphone. For a moment, you hesitated, thinking maybe you were going too far with this. He was just a kid. But whoever his guardian was, they were doing a horrible job with raising him. He was an unholy terror. If they weren't going to do something about his atrocious behavior, then you were going to.

With a reaffirmed mindset, you dialed 911.

(somewhere deep in space)

"Oh, it's all over the Armada now. Thanks to Invader Zim, we know where Tallest Purple is at. Tallest Red tried to blow it off, tried to say Zim was lying or giving false information but it's a lead for you, isn't it?"

The golden, unscathed bracelets softly clinked against each other. Despite the fact their owner had been burned horribly, her prized jewelry emerged unharmed from the incident. Due to them be comprised of a specific, rare gold alloy, it was almost impossible to melt them. Their owner fully intended for them to be as durable and indestructible as possible. She wanted them to last longer than her own body.

"Now…" Lyn chuckled softly. "That's something I didn't predict. I never would've dreamed Zim would help our efforts."

"Oh, absolutely," the spy smiled sharply, displaying her sharp maw. "Even a uselessly destructive runt like him has his purposes. The other moles and I are ready to act when you command, Commander. I have Squib ready to sabotage the Massive's engines whenever you deem necessary. Loo will attempt to get past Soda Master Bepzee and poison the soda at any moment."

"No, keep doing what you're doing until I get a hold of Tallest Purple. I will take control of things from here. Let me do my part. When I get back to you, Nix, hopefully I will have separated his head from his body and crushed his PAK."

"It's nice to see that you're still in on this despite your injuries, Commander. I take it that you've recovered enough?"

"Yes, I have. It will take much more than that to get me out of the picture. I plan on participating no matter what. There's no way I'm disappearing for good."

"I've been having to be extremely careful lately. Everyone is on edge. Even the scum loyal to the Tallest are anxious and don't want to anger Red. Everyone is suspicious and scared after Service Drone Neal was executed by Red's own hand following that horrible assassination attempt."

"This 'Neal' doesn't sound familiar…"

"That's because he wasn't a part of our ranks, Commander. Neal wasn't a member of the Resisty and yet he lashed out at Red."

That was something unexpected but quite interesting. Perhaps there were Irken who wouldn't join the Resisty but still wanted the Tallest out of the way. Lyn wasn't exactly astonished but it was still peculiar. It was possible that this emerging third faction was starting to make itself known. It was possible most of them were disorganized but she had a hunch that perhaps there might've been a ringleader for this new breed of traitor. In the future, they might end up posing as some sort of competition. That wasn't an option in her eyes. They would need to be removed from the picture as well. Any Irken that didn't side with her was fair game in her eyes.

"This Neal was brave and I applaud him for it but, yes, he was an idiot," Lyn concluded. "He had spirit though. And not only that, I want to be the one to kill Red. If Neal had stolen that right from me…" Lyn shook her head and smiled crookedly. "I would be very, very unhappy… Since you are the spy ringleader on the Massive, I expect you to coordinate everyone effectively and keep them in line. Don't let them get antsy and eager to act without my command. If they do so, Red will be the least of their problems. Do you understand me?"

Lyn noticed as the shorter, purple eyed, female Irken nodded her head. She could see that Nix was intimidated but she wouldn't admit it. Nix refused to show weakness and kept her head up high. She trusted her subordinate to maintain her façade and continue with spying and collecting information.

"Yes, Commander Lyn," Nix said. "Of course…"

"Your intel is wonderful," Lyn smiled. "It's helpful that you're one of the communications officers for the Massive. Thank you for providing that recording of Red and Zim's conversation before you had to erase it."

"No problem."

"You've done your part. Let me do mine. Keep communication down to a minimum and only contact me if there's a major development."

"Absolutely, Commander. Good luck with your mission."

The feed was then cut. Nix's face on the display visor disappeared and the screen turned to static.

"Wonderful!" Lyn giggled to herself. "I can't believe my luck!"

This was her lucky break. Patiently, she had been biding her time and waiting, relying on her spies and insiders to provide her with any information regarding the absent Tallest. She still desired to hunt down Purple first and kill him just to torment Red. That was a plan she wasn't going to deviate from at all. That was decided and there was nothing that was going to change it.

Lyn knew about Zim. She was from the same generation he was and for the most part, she avoided him. She had survived the destruction he caused during Operation Impending Doom One by simply being away from Irk when that incident happened. She shuddered to think that maybe, if she was there, she would've suffered the same fate as so many other Invaders that Zim had unwittingly killed. Luck was on her side that day.

Luck was also on her side when she had survived the explosion. Lyn liked to think maybe luck would bless her a third time. She hoped that on this occasion, she would quickly find Purple.

Her claws tapped and danced along the control panel, typing in Earth's coordinates. She activated the autopilot mode of her vessel and leaned back in her seat. It would take some time to get to that planet. She had to get comfortable; her destination was a few galaxies away.

She already decided she was going to cut his head off and mail it to Red. But she had yet to ponder over how she was going to kill him exactly. Lyn was torn over the matter. Forcing him to drink acid sounded tempting. Breaking every single joint in his body would undoubtedly sound like music. Skinning him and throwing him into a vat of boiling water seemed almost too good… Whatever his fate would be, Lyn just hoped she'd make up her mind by the time she got to the planet that harbored two infamous exiles.

Her revenge was a road paved by blood and spite. This was her path and she would follow it even if it led to a dead end. It was long and there were many obstacles in the way but in time, she would overcome them. There was no other way. She knew no detour.

Chapter Text

Chapter 21 Liars and Weirdoes

(Red Leaf State Park)

For an instant, you felt a pang of guilt. When the cops showed up at your residence and you showed them where the little ruffian was, he was knocked out cold. Honestly, you thought you didn't throw him off that roughly. It was obvious that you didn't know your own strength. You were fearful you might've hurt the kid but you were relieved when he started to stir when he heard the voices of the officers.

You indeed called the authorities and they happened to be close by so they made it to your house in under twenty minutes. Apparently, there was a bar fight at the Honey Pot and some officers were wrapping it up when your call came in. One of the officers joked that it was probably the lunar cycle to blame for this insane evening. He also mentioned that crime and unusual behavior seemed to escalate as the moon waxed and it peaked when it was full. The discussion of the moon was the last thing you wanted to acknowledge at the moment.

You gave your statement to the police. You said you caught the boy trespassing on your property and when you tried to get him to leave, he attacked you. Of course you omitted the whole bit about destroying Dib's personal property but hey. They were more inclined to listen to your narrative anyway.

Upon hearing that he attacked you, the cops took no chances and hand cuffed him. You thought it was excessive but you also decided it was for the best. He had a point to prove and he was going to get it across no matter what. Dib was a threat and you knew it. And besides, you feared if he attacked the wrong folks, they'd react more harshly than you did to him.

You could feel his bespectacled eyes glaring at you as he sat in the darkened back of the squad car. You could tell that this youth hated your guts. You had destroyed his irrefutable evidence of alien life and your guilt. Now he was back in square one. With Purple out of the immediate vicinity and supposedly at Area 51, he had nothing to prove. He couldn't prove that Purple was actually here. He couldn't prove that you were more than guilty of sheltering an extraterrestrial being and willingly withheld information from the federal authorities.

Yeah, you were pretty much a felon at this point. But you had gone this far and you wouldn't turn around.

"What is it with all these lunatics tonight?" one of the officers sighed in frustration. "First there was that bar fight in town and then we had to come out here to apprehend some minor who was trespassing and screaming about aliens. What else is going to happen?"

"Nothing, I hope," you said. "I sincerely hope that's the worst of it for you guys."

"Usually crime isn't as bad during the winter," another cop chimed in. "But I guess people get seasonal depression and it gets to folks sometimes."

"You shouldn't have cuffed me!" Dib yelled, pounding on the window. "I'm not the one who needs to be thrown into the back of a squad car! Your real suspect is right there! Ask her about the Tallest! She knows all about him!"

He was determined and hellbent. Even though he was confined and shut up within the car, you knew he would continue to be a threat. They weren't going to throw him into a juvenile detention center and you even told them you didn't want to press charges. You only wanted his parents to wake the Hell up and keep him on a much shorter leash. More than anything else, in your opinion, he needed his ass whooped.

Deep inside, you knew this wasn't going to end. This was far from over. Instead, you knew that this was only the beginning. Now that he saw and knew what you had done, he wasn't going to give up. You had a feeling he wasn't going to be deterred. Dib was going to try to expose the truth no matter the cost. As soon as he'd have the chance, he'd come back and try to make your life a living Hell.

"What's a Tallest?" one cop asked, raising a bushy brow.

"Your guess is as good as mine," you shrugged.

"Don't believe a single thing she tells you!" Dib screamed, pressing his face against the window. "She is working with the alien! She kissed him! She's in cahoots with the Tallest and Zim! She's going to let the Earth be destroyed!"

Legitimately, he unsettled you. You ignored him the best that you could despite the searing stares he was giving you.

"Hey, kid, you were trespassing!" one of the officers scolded him. "You physically attacked a member of the park staff and that's against the law! You should be worried about your dad! He's going to be here any minute!"

The officers managed to get a name and contact information out of Dib when they seized him. His family was going to come and take him home. This was the perfect opportunity to get a load of his guardians and see what sort of negligent dick lets their kid lose and violate several laws. You were looking forward to this.

"She destroyed a vital piece of evidence I had!" he argued. "I had irrefutable proof of the alien that crash landed in this park back in October! He was here, in her house, this whole time! You gotta believe me! He's not here because he went to Area 51 with Zim to get his ship back! He's going to leave, come back with the Armada and do horrible, evil things to Earth! Don't let him win!"

"It's not even a full moon," an officer wrinkled his nose. "I can only imagine what he's like when it is. His dad probably keeps him chained up in the basement. Maybe he's a werewolf?"

You could feel your anxiety snowballing inside of you. You couldn't let the cops know you really were hiding something. They respected and trusted you because you were an official that protected and caretook the state park. You hated to squander that trust but you had to lie. No one could find out about this. And you knew Dib was probably the only person who was capable of pulling the wool away from everyone's eyes.

Everyone's attention was jarred from their current business when lights began to appear in the sky. A cold wave of terror and dread flood over you for a second, assuming Purple was coming back. Oh, God, you hoped it wasn't him. Then the crazy kid would end up being revealed as the sanest individual there.

But your fear melted into relief when you could see it was one of those new-fangled air shuttles. You heard about them and had seen them on the TV. Usually, these aerodynamic buses were only seen in urban areas. On the side of the vessel, you could see "Membrane Labs" etched on it.

Membrane Labs as in headed by Professor Membrane? As in supposedly the smartest man on the planet? Wait, was Dib really his kid? Did you seriously overlook that?

You held your ground as the air bus descended lightly onto the ground. When it fully parked, the door on the side slid open and two figures clambered out.

One of them was a little girl with purple hair. She was wearing dark clothes with a skull necklace. She had a dour look on her face and she seemed like she wanted to be anywhere but here.

The other figure was a tall man. He was taller than you but you could tell that Purple still was taller than him in turn. He was wearing a white lab coat with black gloves and boots. The majority of his face of obscured save for the goggles he wore over his eyes. His hair was black at it looked uncannily similar to Dib's style.

Holy shit. Professor Membrane was his dad. You weren't prepared for that.

"Where is my idiot brother?" Gaz sullenly demanded.

"Right over here, little missy," one of the officers gestured to the car.

Without saying another word, she left her father's side and walked over to the car that held Dib.

"I came as soon as I could," the Professor explained. "Luckily I was home on this night." He turned his attention to you. "Ah, you must be the ranger I was told about in the phone call. My sincerest apologies, ma'am."

You were still shocked that he was still here. You've heard plenty about him and weren't ready to challenge his title as the smartest man on Earth. You knew he outclassed you when it came down to the fields of STEM research and whatnot. But you weren't going to gawk. You had to address him and not call attention to the fact that this celebrity was right here.

"Yes, sir," you said, finally snapping yourself out of it. "I'm glad you were able to promptly arrive."

"My son is insane, I cannot deny it," Membrane shook his head in disappointment. "I merely deemed it was a phase he would grow out of at some point. I was happy he was passionate about something but I despaired over his obsession with this specific pseudoscience. The fact he has attacked someone in an effort to prove some asinine theory and broke several laws is not acceptable."

"Sir, I'll be honest, I felt bad about calling the police to deal with this situation. But I believe you desperately needed to intervene in on this. He needs to be taught a lesson. I wanted this to be addressed before he could repeat something like this again."

"I am ashamed of my boy's actions but I appreciate your reasoning. He has made a fool of himself and I will no longer tolerate this feral behavior. I must thank you for making this choice. It's clear to me that I can no longer turn a blind eye and believe this madness will go away on its own as he grows up."

Truthfully, you were more than miffed that he allowed this to continue for as long as it did. Yes, Professor Membrane might be the most intelligent man on the planet. But good God, he was a shitty father. But at least he acknowledged that Dib's actions weren't acceptable. And you hoped he'd actually do something about this.

You turned around, hearing the girl dragging her brother along the ground. Dib strugglef and flailed, trying to escape and blubbering away while he did so.

"Dad!" he pleaded. "You gotta believe me! I could've showed you true evidence of alien life! You would've believed me! I had it! But that ranger, she destroyed it! She's the key to it! She was sheltering the alien and she's his girlfriend! She's an enemy of humanity!" Then he turned his attention back to his sister who tried her best to tune out his ramblings. "Gaz! You know I'm telling the truth! You've dealt with Zim with me! You know I'm not lying! I'm not crazy!"

Unceremoniously, Gaz threw Dib into the air bus. She strapped him into one of the available seats and hopped up into her own. Then she picked up her Game Slave 2 system and began to play it, ignoring her sibling as he attempted to free himself.

"I don't want to start any trouble," you said. "That's why I don't want to file any charges. I just don't want Dib to cause more trouble. He's only a kid."

"And I appreciate your gesture," he nodded. "I'm sorry he has insisted on picking on and accusing you of something so wild and impossible."

"It's alright. He's young, he has to learn."

Then he redirected his attention to the police officers who were still lingering by.

"Gentlemen, is there anything else I need to be informed of?" he asked.

"No, sir," one of them said. "Just don't let us catch him prowling around here, after hours, on an employee's property."

"Of course. I'll make sure he doesn't create such unacceptable mischief again. Thank you."

You could tell Membrane was angry. He was trying his hardest to not lash out at his son. He allowed Gaz to take care of him. He would ignore Dib until he got him alone and away from this place.

Professor Membrane nodded at them and then to you. Then he turned his back on you and climbed into the air bus. The door slid shut behind him and the transport began to rise up off the ground.

This issue was done, for now. But you had a sinking feeling this wouldn't be the last time you'd see Dib. It was your belief his father had no idea how resourceful and determined he was. Yes, he might punish him or discipline him somehow. But you sensed Dib would still try to unveil the truth. He was still going to harass you.

…maybe you should've taken up Purple's offer.

(…)

"You think this is a cry for help?!" Dib argued. "You think I'm lying?!"

"Son, you've gone too far," the Professor shook his head in disapproval. "You can't be allowed to do this anymore. This is beyond ridiculous and unacceptable! And yes, I do think this is a cry for help! I refuse to let my son become consumed by his insane obsessions and turn into a delinquent because of them!"

"I'm not crazy and I'm not a delinquent! I'm trying to save the world! Dad, you have to believe me! Get in touch with the people at Area 51, they should have an alien right there with them right now!"

"When we get home, we are going to have a very long and thorough discussion about this. I am taking down all those posters and all that junk in your room and you are going to focus on some real, respectable science! Your fantasies are out of control and they landed you in a lot of trouble! You were apprehended by the police and attacked a state park ranger!"

"You trust that lying ranger more that your own son?!"

"You were trespassing and you attacked her. Your shenanigans have gotten you into a lot of trouble before and I simply refuse to tolerate this anymore. This is unacceptable, son. I've tried to be a patient, understanding father. I thought you would grow out of this. But now it's obvious to me that I have to step in and intervene. I'm not going to allow this to continue!"

Dib was simply beside himself and beyond frustrated. The officers at the scene refused to believe him. And now his own father was on the traitorous ranger's side as well. He couldn't believe that they were all naïve and stupid enough to believe her. If that evidence hadn't have been destroyed by her, then he knew things would've been wholly different. He wouldn't be in this situation and the Tallest's girlfriend would be the one in cuffs.

He wasn't going to let this slide. One way or another, he was going to somehow expose her and show that he wasn't crazy. In his opinion, she couldn't be trusted and she needed to go down. Even his dad was going to ground him and confiscate all of his paranormal paraphernalia, he was going to get to the bottom of this. The Irken Empire was indeed interested in Earth and that couldn't be ignored. He already had Zim to worry about and it looked like this ranger was familiar with the Invader as well.

Oh, he was going to get his revenge. He had a mission to complete and wasn't going to let anyone get in the way of it.

The boy whined quietly and shrunk back into his seat. He hung his head low. While he was a paranormal investigator and the unofficial defender of Earth, he was still a twelve year old kid. He still had to go to skool, had to obey certain house rules and certainly wasn't considered an adult just yet.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" Membrane resumed. "My son should know better than to do things like that! From now on, when you aren't in skool or aren't home with your sister, you'll be spending time in the labs with me! No more adventuring, saving the Earth or running silly little errands anymore!"

"Dad, why do you refuse to believe that aliens exist?" Dib countered.

"We aren't discussing this, son."

"This a serious, scientific debate, Dad, answer me!"

"Because there is not enough hard, qualitative and quantitative proof of them."

"You're kidding me, right? Are you calling all the folks who have claimed to have seen things for centuries are lying? Or crazy? Dad, it's impossible! The universe is so big that there has to be multiple races out there! There's no way we're the only life in the universe!"

The Professor sighed heavily. He remained silent and unresponsive for a few moments. He quietly absorbed everything that was happening.

"This is my fault," he admitted.

Gaz briefly looked up from her handheld console when she heard her father say that.

"No, Dad," she said. "Dib is just insane."

"No, no, daughter!" he corrected. "I know I am very busy and it's too obvious. I try to set aside time to be with my children but your brother requires more care and supervision than what I currently give. I have to be more present in both of your lives. I can't let this negligence continue like this."

"You don't need to be here, you just have to believe me!" Dib yelled. "You just have to trust and listen to your son!"

"Dib, that's enough! Things are going to be different from now on and that is final!"

This wasn't going to stop him or slow him down. He'd deal with these supposed, incoming changes and adapt from there. No one was going to prevent him from what he thought was most important. Dib was going to make sure of that.

Then there was also this supposed civil war happening out there…

(Area 51)

"He's amazing! And so tall!"

"A real life alien?! Here?! In front of me?!"

"Is that alright if I hold your hand? Uh, trust me, I want to see if you have a pulse! I want to know your respiration rate!"

Purple felt increasingly squeamish and uncomfortable. The scientists who swarmed around him and hounded him with all sorts of questions, some legitimate, others wildly inappropriate or bizarre. He would've answered a question or two but before he could even speak, another scientist would shove their colleague out of the way and present their own query to him.

The room he entered with his strange guide was a large, spacious one and it reminded him a lot of a hangar or warehouse. In the middle of it sat his confiscated vessel. He only managed to get a glimpse of it before he was engulfed by a throng of enthralled scientists and technicians. From what he could briefly survey, a lot of wires and cords were running from his ship to some computers and miscellaneous technology that sat about twenty feet away from it. It also seemed that, somehow, the damage to it wasn't as extensive as he remembered it to be. Did these creatures actually manage to repair some of the cosmetic damage it sustained?

"Alright, folks, back it up!" Dr. Jones announced. She began to physically push back some of the individuals who got too close. "Let's not swarm our visitor, alright? Let him get used to things, he's our newest guest and addition after all!" She beamed and turned to the Tallest. "See your ship? We've been running tests on it and we took care of some of the more superficial, outer damage it sustained."

"Gee, thanks," Purple said nonchalantly. He pushed past some rather stubborn, ogling scientists and made his way over to his ship. "I'm surprised you even knew what to do."

"It took a lot of trial and error! But some of the finest minds in the world come here to visit and assist with research so we made some progress! And now with you here, we'll make even more progress and learn more!" She tittered in delight. "You have no idea how exciting it is!"

"Sure! I, uh, can help out with my ship! It's a piece of cake!"

That was a lie. But these creatures didn't need to know about this weakness of his. He barely even passed ship basics during military training. The only reason why he did that was because of Red's constant help and quizzing. He even managed to cheat on the exam thanks again to his co-Tallest's intervention. Ships were not his forte and he knew that. He only hoped that whatever damage was sustained could wait until he rejoined the Armada and it could be repaired by properly trained and qualified mechanics.

He looked over his ship, seeing that it did seem like it was better. Honestly, he was a bit impressed with their handiwork. They even sealed the cracks in the windshield that were sustained in the crash. They also restored the paintjob on some areas where the color had been rubbed off or faded. All in all, they seemed like they did a decent job. To him, it appeared they were trying to restore it to its former, untarnished glory. It was a good effort on trying restore and understand technology they never encountered before.

While it seemed like it was structurally sound and well, there was the most crucial questions of all. Could he commandeer this thing? Could he leave Earth and not explode while trying to escape its atmosphere? Could he make it back to Red?

"It's a wondrous and fascinating piece of technology," the old woman picked up. "We tried to start it up and give it a test run but we had no luck."

That better have been the case. To avoid hijackers and thieves, Purple had a retinal scanner installed in his ship. The ship would only activate and fly if it scanned one of his eyes and recognized his DNA sequence. It was a handy little mechanism and Purple was glad he implemented that feature. It was more than likely that the Earthlings had no idea about this bit of information and he was going to keep it that way. He wouldn't be surprised if they tried to rip one of his eyes out of his skull just so they could start it up themselves.

"Oh, it's fine!" Purple said, putting on a fake smile. "I'll show you how this bad boy works."

First there was the diagnostic scan to make sure everything was alright. He'd have to make sure all the systems were intact or at least minimally damaged. Then he'd bust out of this crazy place and never come back. After that, he'd go back for the female.

"Come on, ship!" he thought to himself. "Don't get me killed! Don't get us killed for that matter. Just hang on so I can get my Earthling… And then get us to the Massive. That's all I want. We just can't be on this planet anymore."

"There's no obvious ignition system," Dr. Jones continued. "That's the biggest mystery we have right now. We've tried overriding and hacking into it but we've had no luck."

"Irken technology isn't so easy to crack," Purple smirked. "We make it hard for others to figure it out."

"I can just imagine what other amazing things your species has crafted…" She had a dreamy and spellbound look to her eyes.

Purple ignored her and hopped into the pilot's seat. It somewhat stank like one of the Earthlings in there and he frowned in disgust at that. The scent of his female would change that.

Quietly, he initiated the diagnostic scan. He wasn't going to start up the ship until he was absolutely ready to depart. He had to keep them in the dark about how it worked.

"Firstly, I have to make sure everything is alright, this isn't looking good," he clicked his tongue. "I think there may be a problem with the ignition system. That could explain why you had some trouble with starting it up."

When he lifted his head up to look away from the control panel, he wasn't expecting to see Dr. Jones staring back at him intently. He squealed in surprise and sunk back into his seat, his eyes wide and mildly alarmed.

"Take me with you!" she implored. "I want to see what you see! I want to explore the vast frontier of the universe! We know nothing of what's out there! Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be abducted by aliens and whisked around the stars on some crazy, intergalactic adventure!"

Purple swallowed roughly. He shrank back further, trying to distance himself from the enthusiastic old woman. He didn't dare to look away from her, fearing she'd latch herself onto him.

"I…" he almost whispered. "I thought you wanted me to stay here..?"

"I do!" she said. "But I just want to be where you are!"

Hurry up, scan… HURRY UP.

"Yeah, we're not gonna work out," he said, feeling extremely awkward and out of place. "You're really old and scary looking and I already have my own female. Thanks but no thanks."

"Please!" she begged. "If you won't take me away will you take me for a joyride in it?! Just a nice, little stroll in the sky with an alien in his space vehicle!"

"Hey, I want a turn in the space ship with the tall, green freak too!" one random technician blurted out. "Y'know, for science!"

Purple was starting to think that perhaps Area 51 was actually a containment facility for all these crazy Earthlings. Yeah, it might've been a huge base for housing extraordinary, freakish things but the amount of weirdos in here was staggering. Maybe they belonged here and needed to be locked away for their own good. This was way out of his comfort zone and he found himself starting to panic internally. These Humans adoring and wanting to investigate him "for science" was just too creepy for his liking.

"H-hey look!" he said, his smile clearly fake and strained. "How about I do this! How about I get my bigger space ship and I can take every single person in this room on it?! We can all climb aboard and we can take a tour around the solar system! And…!" He waved his hands excitedly, trying to lure them in and get them in on the bandwagon. "We can have a crazy party on one of Saturn's moons! Doesn't that sound awesome?!"

"I always wanted to go to Titan," one staff member blurted. "I heard it rains methane there, that sounds so cool! Can we party there?!"

"No, I propose we go to Europa!" another person argued. "It's closer to Earth! I gotta be home in time to watch my soap operas!"

While most of the scientists and other gathered personnel began to debate over an ideal moon to party on, Dr. Jones remained wholly invested with what was in front of her. She wouldn't be baited. Her greatest wish was in front of her and she wasn't going to part with it so easily.

"So, who is your girlfriend?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

"She's hotter than you, that's for sure," Purple said. "You don't need to know about her other than that."

"But is she smarter than me?"

"Probably, yeah. I think it's safe to say she's probably as smart as me too. Maybe smarter! If you're the smartest out of all these idiots here, then I'm not impressed." He snarled defensively. "Look, Grandma, I'm not interested!"

"But I'm interested in you!"

"Then find a new hobby! I don't care! Cut it out or I'll melt your feet to the floor or something!"

"Please! Take me with you!"

He glanced at the diagnostic screen. It still wasn't done.

Purple let out a cry of frustration and irritation. He slammed his fist into the control console, nearly smashing it in the process.

"Can't you take a hint, you walking mummy?!" he blurted.

The whole room became bathed in a red, flashing light. The sound of an alarm blared out obnoxiously and Purple's whole body tensed. His PAK legs sprung out, reacting on instinct and perceiving that a threat was nearby.

"Oh, no, it broke loose for real this time!" someone cried out.

Purple bristled when he heard the same horrible shrieking that he heard earlier when he first entered the compound. Then, the sound of shredding metal sliced through the air, causing him to feel even more apprehensive. Apparently, the creature the two guards told him about earlier finally escaped from its test tube prison.

He shoved Dr. Jones out of the way and leapt out of his ship, turning to face the aberration. The scan still wasn't done and he had a feeling that things were going to get ugly. It was probably going to go on a rampage and he had to defend himself and his craft if he wanted to get out of here in one piece.

The battle-ready Tallest cringed when his eyes fell on the shape of the escaped experiment. It was definitely in the shape of an Earthling but that was where the similarities ended. Its skin was pale and it looked like its entire body was encapsulated in some sort of insect-like shell. Its eyes were black and looked too lifeless, looking almost like the eyes of a haunted doll. In its mouth were razor sharp teeth that jutted out from its sickly-looking lips. The experiment's frame was also well muscled and it was rather tall, standing at around seven feet. The amalgamation was also completely bald.

"I am Llec!" it bellowed. "Me finally free from puny tube! I crush all of you!"

"Man, you are super ugly!" Purple said, tilting his head to the side, looking more confused than intimidated. "No wonder they tried to keep you contained!"

The rage and macho the creature wielded when it entered the room suddenly seemed to evaporate. Its face softened drastically and Purple somehow swore its eyes looked larger and glassier. Somehow, it seemed like it was as defenseless and helpless as a kicked puppy.

"You big meanie!" it started to cry. "That was uncalled for, big bully! You hurt Llec's feelings! This not my choice!"

"Hey, you're not very nice!" one of the staff accused the Irken. "He just earned his freedom and this is how you treat him?!"

"Oh, that is it," Purple huffed. His PAK appendages retreated back into their containment space and he turned his back on the now crying creature. He shook his head and clambered back into his shuttle, no longer having the patience. "When I come back to reclaim this planet, I'm going to level this entire base and pretend that none of this happened."

He smiled largely when he saw that the scan finally completed when he went out to confront Llec. Without wasting another moment, he initiated the ignition sequence.

He lowered his head, presenting an eye to be scanned. The scanner did just that, registering his unique DNA signature and recognizing the ship's owner. When that happened, the transport whirred to life.

The base personnel hardly paid any attention to the reactivated ship, instead focusing on comforting the escaped asset. They even ignored the hole that was created above them when Purple activated the laser cannons and shot into the roof, creating a path for himself. Their one-track mindset couldn't be diverted as the alien they were so previously enraptured with made his escape in the shuttle they had been so devoted to decoding for the past few months.

Purple let out a sigh of relief. The takeoff was brief and powerful. He couldn't take it anymore and he had to get out. The ship didn't explode while he made his getaway so that was encouraging. And according to the diagnostic, everything seemed to be in shipshape. The Tallest counted himself extremely fortunate thay no significant damage was done and it was still very much functional.

Now that phase one of his plan was complete, he had to move to the next objective. He fidgeted nervously in his seat. Perhaps this part of the mission was going to be the toughest one yet. For this one, he absolutely couldn't fail. He had to be successful.

He felt something suddenly latch onto the back of his head. Spooked by the abrupt and tight feeling, he screamed and flailed about in his seat, almost losing control of his ship in the process. The Tallest smashed the back of his head against his headrest, trying to dislodge whatever was hanging onto him with surprising strength and tenacity.

"What wonders will we witness?!" Dr. Jones enthusiastically demanded. "Where are we going?!

While he was busy investigating the creature, she managed to crawl into his vessel and hide herself in it. Now she was making her presence known. There was no way she was going to be deterred so easily.

"I said to beat it!" Purple growled. "You're too short for my taste anyway!"

He continued to struggle with the old but determined scientist. Purple was somewhat astonished by her strength but in the end of it all, it was pointless.

He succeeded in peeling her off and partially opened up the windshield. Forcefully and mercilessly, he shoved her out of it, letting her plummet. He paid no mind to it, knowing she'd most likely survive it all to begin with. As far as he was concerned, the creepy, old woman wasn't his problem anymore.

"Alright, let's try this again," he exhaled. "I gotta win this time…" He sunk into his seat and his antennae fell flat against the back of his head. Purple couldn't stomach the thought of screwing it up a second time. "Getting the girl is way harder than I thought it'd be…"

Chapter Text

Chapter 22 Eloping with Aliens

(Red Leaf State Park)

You were abruptly jarred from your half-awake, half-dozing state when you heard Bambi creating an unholy ruckus. You were in the middle of a light snore when that snore turned into a full blown snort. Your eyes flashed open and you almost rocketed yourself off the couch as it startled you so badly. For a moment, you sat up, confused and wondering what planet you were even on for the briefest moment.

"Bambi..?" you asked groggily. "What's up?"

The big mutt pawed at the door. His tail wagged and he stood up on his hind legs, trying to get to whoever was outside already. He barked loudly, each and every vocalization causing you to cringe at the volume and wanting to crawl into some dark hole and hibernate.

Right off the bat, you were alarmed. You checked the time on your cellphone, seeing it was quarter after five in the morning. Sunrise was a bit off and everything was still dark outside. The only light you had on in your entire cabin was the lamp that sat on the coffee table.

You had no idea who or what could be outside at this hour except for some random animal. Or a poacher. Or Dib.

With the way Bambi was acting however, it didn't seem aggressive. Instead, he almost seemed eager. It was nothing like the way he acted when he first caught wind of Zim.

"Bambi," you said, clearing your throat. "Come here!"

The dog sat down at the door, his tail still going a mile a minute. He whined quietly and looked back at you, wanting you to get up and address whatever was outside. It was strange but it almost looked like the furry beast was somehow smiling. He didn't seem worried and that helped to soothe you a little in return.

You yawned and got up, making your way to the door. Though it seemed like Bambi was totally trusting and even happy, you would err on the side of caution. It definitely had been a turbulent night and it almost felt like it was never going to end. The sun wasn't up yet so you wouldn't be surprised in the slightest bit if some other insane thing was going to happen. That was the way your luck seemed to run.

You peeked past the curtain that covered the little window on your front door. Your eyes widened when you could've sworn you saw the ship you saw some months earlier. It looked pretty dinged up and damaged when you first saw it embedded in the dirt on that especial night. But now it was sitting on your front lawn.

Your sleep deprived, stressed mind connected the dots and your eyes widened to the size of saucers. A smile broke out across your face and you fiddled with the locks on your door. It looked like fate was throwing you a bone.

As soon as you got the door unsecured and opened it, you were suddenly befuddled. In the short amount of time where you espied Purple's ship and then opened the door, the space shuttle vanished. Where the transport was parked, there was nothing but darkness and forest. You stood in the doorway, having a hard time processing exactly just happened.

"Oh my God," you muttered. You rubbed your eyes. Indeed, the ship disappeared into thin air. "I've officially gone insane."

But as you investigated the empty space closer, there was a tree there that didn't exist earlier. You knew your own property well and there was never a tree in that exact spot before.

"Cloaking device, babe."

Visibly, you jumped when you heard his voice. Your head twisted to the right, looking down your porch. Purple was standing there, looking utterly tickled. He was giggling and smiling away, amused by your astonishment.

Without saying a word, you grasped onto his hand and pulled him into your home. You weren't going to take any chances and risk having anyone catch sight of the two of you together. If you could avoid any more incidents, that'd be great.

Once you got him into the cabin, you shut the door and locked it all up. Bambi barked happily and stood up on his hind legs, licking the Tallest and clearly excited to see him. You smiled when you heard Purple chortle at the canine's enthusiasm.

"Nice to see you too, you big, slobbery beast," he greeted. He playfully ruffled the dog's ears and fur. Then he turned his attention to you. "And it's nice to see your master too."

You were only happy to see he came back. It looked like he survived Area 51 and got his ship back. That caused a lot of stress to melt off your shoulders. He was alive and wasn't imprisoned or dissected.

At first, you couldn't say anything at. All you did was fling your arms around him and jump up into his own arms. He was easily a few feet taller than you but that didn't deter you at all from leaping up and planting your lips atop his.

True, you wanted him to go do his duty and leave Earth for his own safety. But to see him again made you so thankful. It was almost completely contrary to your conversation in the shed. You were just happy to see him and were relieved he was alright. You said it wasn't a good idea to pursue this courtship and yet here you were. You were looking like a pretty big hypocrite in this moment but at the same time, you didn't care.

Purple wasn't expecting this greeting but he didn't fight it at all. His arms encircled around your frame, securing you to him and keeping you close. The Irken returned the kiss, more than happy to melt into it and savor this gesture of Human affection he was quickly growing fond of. He could contently get used to it.

As much as you wanted it to last forever, you knew you couldn't be too much of a hedonist… You did have to have a few words with him.

"Purple, we gotta talk," you said.

"We do," he agreed. "You first."

You didn't know where to begin. But you figured the most logical thing would be discuss the topic that made you the most paranoid.

"Dib knows about us," you revealed.

"The big-headed kid?" Purple asked, making sure he got the right person in mind. "Zim's nemesis?"

"Yeah. Purple, he had a video of us talking in the shed."

"Eww, what a little weirdo!"

"But I destroyed his evidence. There was no way I could let him hold onto it. He was going to use it to expose me or us for that matter. I called the cops and they got his family in here to take him home."

"…looks like a lot happened with you when I was over at Area 51."

"Yeah. What happened while you were over there?"

"Saw a lot of freaks, stupid scientists and I'm pretty sure some old lady wanted to be my woman but I'd rather not talk about that." His stare hardened and he rested his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes. "But honestly, none of that really matters right now. I got my ship and it's ready to go whenever I am. You've got two little weirdoes to worry about instead of one now. That's what really concerns me."

"Zim is Zim so I'm…"

"Yes, which is why I'm not happy about leaving you on Earth with him while I'm gone."

"And Dib is only a kid. He needs more supervision and guidance in his life and I'm…sure he'll end up okay. His dad apologized for everything and promised me he'd never pull stunts like this again."

"I don't think you get that this kid isn't gonna stop. According to what Zim told me about him, nothing will stop Dip."

"Dib."

"Look… With me staying here and hiding with you, I let two dangerous losers into your life. That's my fault, okay? You seriously don't want Zim around you. That's why Red and I got rid of him and exiled him to Earth. And Dib? Since he saw us together, you know he's never gonna back off and give you peace again. I'm sorry but you can't stay on Earth anymore."

You wanted to argue with him, saying he was too serious and grim about the whole thing. But you knew he was being brutally honest and that was a trait you could appreciate about him. As much as you wanted to disagree, you knew it was true. Dib was a kid but he was a scary kid. You got a taste of what he was like and what he prioritized. You didn't want to acknowledge it but you knew Purple was telling the truth.

"I know you don't want to leave," he continued, sensing what was on your mind. "Maybe, if you went with me, maybe Dib will focus solely on Zim and he might forget about you. It's a longshot but with you being away from here…y'know, out of sight out of mind? I'm not gonna keep you from your planet forever. I know you love it. Think of it as a vacation. When was the last time you took one?"

"Uh, a few years," you said, feeling unsure of how to feel next. "Never really saw the need for one…"

"Congratulations, you're due for one! I say you take it now!"

"Purple, I get it, trust me… But this is all way too sudden. I can't just drop everything and run off and then come back and act as if nothing happened."

"Listen to me, babe."

He sat down on the couch, still keeping you close to him. He placed you on his lap and ran his fingers through your hair. The Irken nuzzled your cheek and inhaled your scent, sighing happily at the familiar, soothing aroma.

"You took care of me while I was here with you," he said. "Now it's my turn. Let me take care of you. You taught me a lot about Earth and explained so much to me. You helped me live here and it probably would've gone perfectly if Zim didn't ruin everything…" He growled briefly. "I know there's a lot of strange stuff going on out there now. But I want to show you everything, you'd love it all! We can drink milkshakes together under the light of the twelve moons of Planet Lotsofmoonsa! We can eat junk food and ride on roller coasters all day on the amusement park planet of Amusia-6!"

You loved his enthusiasm. There was something innocent and pure about it all and it lifted your heart. And the best part about it? It was genuine.

"We'll be together and I'll keep you safe during the whole thing," he promised. "You don't have to worry about the weird things going on here on Earth. Dib and Zim will just be bad memories."

"That does sound amazing," you admitted, giving him a smile. "Honestly, I can only imagine what's all out there. It must be filled with all sorts of things I can't even begin to imagine or describe…"

"You better believe it!" He flashed you a large, toothy grin. "You can see it all! And it's all waiting for you. What's that one Earth phrase..? 'The world is your oyster'? But in this case, the universe!"

"I don't know, Purple… There's just too much going on. You have that war occurring and you don't need me distracting you from it and whatnot. That's some very vital stuff you have to take care of."

"You're not distracting me, you're motivating me."

It felt like things were moving back into square one. It was one, big, messy, confusing conundrum. While you wanted to go with him, you knew it was most likely impulsive and dumb. Duty and responsibility were important. You'd be throwing yours away by leaving so suddenly.

You were shaken from your thoughts when he said your name. He placed a finger under your chin and gave you a brief but sweet kiss on your lips.

"This is a lot for me too," he resumed. "But war is coming to Earth, there's no hiding that. I'm sure that my enemies found out and they're probably coming here as we speak. If somehow, they get a hold of Zim and if Zim tells them about you… I'm just not gonna take that chance. If I go and you stay here, I won't be able to protect you. I don't want to end up like Red."

"And you can't stay here with me," you debated. "Purple, you'll be a sitting duck. Zim is your only Irken ally here and if it's the two of you against a whole army of rebels or whatever, things are going to get really, really ugly."

"We have to be together no matter what. We both have our enemies no matter where we'll go. What's the point in us going our separate ways and fighting them without each other? Aren't we better off doing this together? Please. Please, come with me. Come with me for your own safety."

You hated this dilemma. You hated having to make this vital choice with no time to spare. Ideally, you'd want a few days to mull over something so important but you knew there was virtually no time left. You had to make up your mind right now.

There was no way you'd let him stay on Earth. It was out of the question and you refused to discuss it. He had to leave to throw off his trail and make things more difficult for his foes. If he'd remain here, it'd end badly. And with the threat of Dib, it was another factor to consider.

The thought of traversing and seeing what the universe has to offer was fascinating but also horrifying. But if you were going to do it, then you'd want to be by his side. You were his guide, mentor and protector while he sought shelter on Earth. Now it was his turn to return the favor to you. And from what he was saying, he was more than happy to step up and do it.

You had your responsibilities. But now you had another one to tend to. And as it turned out, you became his in return.

You had to choose.

You made up your mind.

"I guess I'm gonna have to see Ted as soon as the sun rises," you said, giving him a tiny smile. "I'll have to tell him I'm going on an extended vacation with a handsome, tall, alien man."

Purple blinked a few times, his eyes growing wider with each blink. His smile became impossibly huge and he let out a shrill squeal of glee. He hugged you to him tightly and kissed you all over your face.

"My Human is coming with me!" he rejoiced. "Yes, finally!" He laughed merrily and he nuzzled your cheek with his. "I'm so happy and relieved…"

"You'll be begging me to stay here when I tell you that you have to help me pack up a lot of stuff," you smirked. You kissed his cheek. "And Bambi and Baby are coming with us. There is no force that is gonna make me leave them behind."

"Hey, the more the merrier, I like the furry beasts anyway." He smirked. "And I guess we gotta start packing now, huh? I wanted to just sit here and kiss you for an hour or two then hit the road."

"We can do that when we get in the ship and leave Earth." You stroked one of his antenna very carefully. "I mean, isn't space huge and it takes a bit to get anywhere? We're gonna have a lot of time on our hands I think… Good things come to those who wait, big guy."

He loudly swallowed at your flirtatious tone and action. His cheeks turned dark green in an instant and he smiled shyly back at you.

"…I love you," he muttered.

"I love you too, Purple," you returned.

Now, you felt like you made the right choice. Actually, you knew it was the right one.

(…)

Senior Ranger Ted wasn't expecting to have someone knocking on his door before eight in the morning. Luckily, he was dressed but he was still trying to wake up. Quietly, he was nursing at a cup of coffee and nibbling at a chocolate biscotti. Before the knock, it seemed like it was going to be a cold but peaceful and quiet February morning.

So, when he looked out one of his windows to stealthily peek out of it to see who was outside, he was a bit surprised. One of his junior rangers was standing at the front door to his cabin. Specifically, it was you. He was confused more than anything else but for as long as the mystery prevailed, he began to feel somewhat nervous and concerned. But then again, if it was a real emergency, you would've called him already to give him a heads up.

While still holding onto his cup of coffee, he unlocked his door and opened it up. He offered you a small but friendly smile.

"Morning, stranger," he joked. "What's up? I'm surprised you're up this early. I know you were supposed to be hanging out with Kendra last night and having some drinks."

"Yeah, but that didn't last too long," you said and cringed inwardly. "Things came up."

"What's wrong? You okay?"

"Ted, I need to talk to you. This is pretty abrupt and important."

"Well, I'm all ears, kiddo. Talk away."

Truly, you didn't know where to begin or how to even introduce it. You never dropped such a bombshell like this before and all you knew was that it wasn't going to go over well. You sure as heck knew that if someone was telling you the things you were about to say, you'd be swift to brand them as some insane liar. It'd simply be unbelievable. But you'd have your ways of trying to convince him.

"Ted, I have to leave," you cut to the chase.

"Leave?" he repeated, wrinkling his nose. "Sure, you're more than welcome to take a vacation! I know it's been a few years since you last had one. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get away."

"It's kind of like a vacation but the thing is, I'm not really sure when I'll be back."

"Is there something going on? You seem tense and anxious." He paused and stepped aside. "Come on in. Get out of the cold, let's come in and talk."

You took a deep breath and shook your head.

"I'd love to but I don't want to get too comfortable and stick around for long," you said, declining his offer.

"Did something happen?" He became increasingly alarmed and suspicious. "Did some government agents crash the party last night or something?"

"I have to leave for a bit. I really don't want to resort to it but I don't really have much of a choice either. I had to call the cops last night, I got attacked. Do you remember that weird kid that was at the visitor's center a few months ago?"

"I think so, yeah."

"He came onto my property, was asking questions about the crash and attacked me."

"You're kidding!"

"I wish I was. The cops came and phoned in his dad and the dad took him away."

"Good. The kid sounds like he needs an ass whooping or sent to boot camp."

"I think this might've slowed down but I highly doubt this will stop him completely. Ted, this kid is determined to make my life a living Hell."

"Why?"

"He's a self-proclaimed paranormal investigator. And he's doing it because I'm withholding information about the crash."

"We're supposed to." The head ranger lowered his tone slightly and leaned in closer to you. "We have our statements we're supposed to divulge to the public and that's that. We can't even really discuss the incident ourselves…"

"I've been lying to you and everyone else."

He was becoming increasingly incredulous and worried. You could see the gears in his head turning and you could sense the confusion amounting in him. While Ted was an overall amiable, approachable and accommodating man, he hated anything that couldn't be explained. He liked to joke around at times but if the situation called for it, he was no-nonsense and hardnosed.

You looked over your shoulder, glancing back at your truck that sat in the driveway. That was the signal.

"I've known you your whole life," Ted said lowly. "I've worked with your dad and grandpa for years. I know I'm not your blood relative or anything like that but you know you can talk to me about what's bugging you. I know something is up."

"Ted, there definitely was an alien at the crash site," you said. "He showed up at my house right before I called you that night."

"Why didn't you disclose that to me?"

"Because I was scared. That and I… I knew that if the feds got a hold of him, they'd do terrible things to him."

"And this thing is a 'he'?"

"I'd certainly hope I'd be aware of his gender by now because he's been at my house for the past four months."

Ted froze when he heard your truck door open and then close. He didn't look away from you and he knew you definitely didn't have psychic powers that enabled you to do something like that. He didn't want to break his stare with you, knowing something was very wrong. He didn't want to see who was in your vehicle and most likely watching everything up until this point.

"This isn't funny," he whispered.

"This isn't a joke," you reiterated. "This is real."

A moving splash of color drew his attention from your face. He looked away at last, seeing a figure colored mainly purple and green, looking like a stark contrast to the white, brown and gray landscape around him. His grasp on his coffee cup loosened and slowly, he began to unknowingly spill the contents of it all over his porch.

You knew you'd be taking a massive risk by doing this but in your mind, you also thought it was necessary. In this way, you could fully convince your boss that you were telling the truth. With the actual alien right in front of his face, there's no way he'd be able to suspect you were pulling a prank or lying.

"So, you're Ted," Purple said, stopping behind you and setting both of his hands on your shoulders. "Took long enough to meet you."

Ted's hold on his beloved coffee cup was entirely relinquished at this point and it dully thumped onto the wooden floor below. He gawked, staring wide eyed at the tall, green, insect-like entity that stood directly behind his junior associate. This had to have been some super elaborate, well made costume… But deep in his bones, Ted knew this wasn't a joke. He knew you well enough. And he did believe something was in the crashed ship that was unaccounted for. He just had no idea it was your guest the whole time.

"This is the alien," he said, wanting actual, verbal confirmation. "This is what the government was looking for?"

"Yes," you nodded. "That kid I told you about? His name is Dib and I bet you any money you'll find him prowling around here in no time at all. He knows about Purple."

"His name is Purple?" Ted questioned.

"I didn't choose it," The Tallest huffed in annoyance.

"I've come to the realization that until things settle down here, I won't be safe," you explained. "Ted, there's a lot of crazy shit going on now. There's stuff going on here and outside of Earth. It's gonna get ugly and with Purple being here, some of those nasty elements are probably on their way here right now. He is leaving and I'm going with him."

"You're literally running off with an alien?" Ted asked, absolutely stunned by all this information.

That was it. There was no other way to put it. Ted hit it on the head.

"I don't know how long this will take," you admitted. "But I do know I will come back to Earth one way or another, I promise."

"What do I tell people when they see that you're gone?" he asked.

"Tell them I got abducted by an alien."

"Oh, you've gotta be shitting me…"

"I'm serious! Zack and Kendra will believe it because they've seen the ship! The government will believe it too because they've been looking for Purple!"

Ted laughed briefly and ran a hand through his hair, trying to grasp onto reality itself and calm down. He shook his head, unable to believe what he was seeing with his own two eyes. There was no way he'd ever be able to predict something like this. It was simply unbelievable. Ludicrous, even.

"So, you off to a trip to Jupiter?" he asked, half joking and half disbelieving.

"Ted, if Purple stays here, he'll probably die," you scowled. "There're a lot of people that want to kill him. If he stays on Earth, he's a huge target. And if I stay on Earth, I will never find peace until certain things get ironed out."

"Okay…okay." Ted took a deep breath. Clearly, he was at a loss for words. "I do appreciate you telling me about this. I wouldn't know what to think or do if you just disappeared out of the blue one day without a word. Do me a favor, alright? Take care of yourself. Be smart and safe and be sure to come back as soon as you can."

"No worries, she's with me," Purple smirked. "I'll take good care of this little ranger!"

You blushed hotly, wishing Purple would shut up and not divulge your exact relationship with him to Ted. You didn't want to shock your boss any more than you already did. His brain might snap in two if he found out you and Purple were officially an item.

"I'll turn off all the utilities to your place," Ted said. "I'll shut it down and keep it locked up and secure for when you come back. What're you gonna do about your animals?"

"They're coming with me," you said.

"Oh, that'll be fun."

"Yeah, I know. But I don't know how long this will be so I'd rather have them with me."

"Okay." His stare on Purple lingered for a few extra seconds then he turned to you again. "You're taking your gun with you?"

"Ted…" You had a feeling what he was on his mind. "Yes, I'm taking it. But I'll be fine."

"Before your grandpa died, I promised him I'd look after you." The expression on Ted's face was soft and sentimental. "Looks like I'm not gonna be able to keep that promise anymore. It's beyond my control and power now. You've grown up a lot and I can't believe you're leaving like this. But I'll take your word for it. I'll see if I can get a transfer ranger to fill in for you for a bit until you come back. Just…come back alive and in one piece, okay?"

"I will. Thanks, Ted. You're a great guy, I'm glad and grateful to have you as my boss and friend."

Neither you or Purple were prepared for when Ted pulled you into his arms. He held you in a brief but firm hug before he let you go.

"Space man, take care of her," Ted addressed the Tallest. "Or you'll have the Devil to pay."

"You think I'll be so careless?" Purple asked. There was an undeniable edge to his voice. He almost sounded offended. "Human-Ted, I am courting this female! She is mine! She is leaving Earth for her own safety and she will be with me." He folded his arms across his chest. "I love her and I will destroy all who try to hurt her!"

The look of disbelief, confusion and befuddlement on Ted's face was hilarious but unmistakable at the same time. Your face turned as red as a tomato and you looked away from him. You wished Purple hadn't blurted that out… You really wished he didn't. Now you were certain poor Ted would get some very embarrassing mental images about you two.

"Yeah, I think it's time we got out of here…" you muttered sheepishly.

"Uh, sure," Ted said, feeling quite uncomfortable now. "Didn't realize he was your boyfriend, I'm sure you'll be in great hands."

"Uh, yeah… I'll seeya soon hopefully, Ted. Take care."

"You too... Just... Be safe and smart."

Purple only smirked away, looking entirely proud and pleased with his announcement. His hands returned to their perch on your shoulders and he nuzzled his cheek against yours. The Tallest had absolutely no qualms about proclaiming you as his female and introducing you as such. He was entirely thrilled with the reality and was eager to share with everyone. Perhaps it wasn't such a smart move…

There was nothing else to be said. You merely gave Ted a nod and then waved to him as you stepped off his porch and made your way back to the truck. The Irken leader stuck close to you, fully intending to be with you every step of the way.

"Really, Purple?" you whispered to him. Your blush remained and you gave him a shy smile.

"The Earthling is someone you like and trust," he said. "I wanted to assure him all will be well because it's true. I fully intend to protect and take care of you." He exhaled heavily. "I know I'm a defective, there's no denying it. But this feels so good and…right. I don't care anymore." He paused for a moment. "I used to think it was dumb and Red was crazy. But I understand it now."

The both of you climbed up into the vehicle. You drove and he was your passenger. You knew that for the foreseeable future, you were going to be the passenger for a while. It was a sobering, somewhat frightening thought but at the same time, it'd be nice.

"I know I feel a lot better by going with you now," you admitted a little bashfully. "I really regretted saying no the first time. I'm happy you came back and I'm excited but a little scared about going with you."

"Trust me, I know it's a bit crazy right now but when it's all done and over with, things will be way better," he smiled confidently. "Honestly, I wasn't going to leave without you. I meant it."

"But here we are."

He chuckled quietly and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

"No, you're too sweet to ever give up," he said quietly.

(a few hours later)

It was a task and a half but you managed it. You moved what felt like literally half of your cabin into his shuttle. It was surprisingly roomy on the inside of it and you happily loaded it up. There was the cockpit, a small bedroom, a snack bar or kitchenette of sorts, what looked like a bathroom and a storage room. The interior reminded you somewhat of an RV or trailer but obviously more alien and otherworldly. It was small but it was comfortable enough where you wouldn't be sitting atop each other the whole trip. The animals would be free to roam and could come and go as they pleased.

You grabbed every single pair of clothes and shoes that you could, not leaving anything up to chance and suspecting this venture could take months upon months. The fact that this voyage could even take a year or more intimidated you but it wasn't out of the realm of possibility either. You'd be damned if you had to go into the vast reaches of space without a few pairs of underwear at the very least.

All of the food you could gather and store was brought aboard as well. It was going to be a hell of a long trip and you just hoped all four of you wouldn't succumb to starvation in the middle of this journey. Of course, that would be very bad.

Purple stressed that while Earth was out at the ends of known Irken space, there were other, far flung planets and outposts that you could visit along the way to rejoin the Armada. Those outposts could allow you to stock up on whatever supplies you might've needed and lessen the likelihood of a disaster or hardship. But you still opted to be safer than sorry and decided to take no chance.

You even took your television, gaming system, media player and radio with you in the hopes you could somehow use these things on another planet. Perhaps you were overpreparing by a long shot but again, you chose to be equipped for any obstacle that might present itself to you. Your nervousness and anxiety about the trip caused you to over plan.

"I think that's enough," Purple said, looking somewhat amazed at all the things you managed to collect and haul aboard.

"Toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, soap and sanitary pads are absolutely necessary, trust me," you said firmly. "And so is deodorant. I don't want to smell like a sweaty wildebeest."

"But you smell really nice!"

"Trust me, it's a self conscious thing of mine. It comforts me."

"I think we have everything, babe. I hate to rush too much but we gotta go. I still have to try to contact Red and figure out where he is exactly."

"I know, I know… Okay, I have Baby and Bambi's food, treats, supplies, toys…" You recited these things out loud, trying to make sure you got everything. It was decided that you weren't going to be turning around and pick something up you left behind. "We have glasses, cereal bowls, utensils… Movies, videogames… Purple, are we possibly forgetting anything? Please, let's put our brains together and think hard. Because with my luckvwe'll forget something totally obvious and vital and we end up dying in space because we don't have it."

"Trust me, I have some supplies hidden away inside the ship still. Those scientists didn't uncover all the secret panels and compartments I stowed away some stuff in." He waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry, we'll be okay. And when we get to the Massive, you won't have to worry about a single thing. You'll be covered!"

You huffed quietly, hoping he was right. Now you were feeling jittery and tense.

"I guess we're ready…" you sighed.

"Hey, it's okay," he hugged you from behind and rested his chin on the top of your head. "It'll be us and the beasts."

"I know."

You looked at the dark and empty cabin you lived in for practically your whole life. It was so unusual and sobering to see it like this. You felt your heartstrings being tugged on the longer you took in the sight. You'd be running off into the expanse of the cosmos. You knew that somehow, someday, you would return. But already, you felt homesick.

Yet you willed yourself to move along. You were doing this for your own safety. Earth was no longer a sanctuary. You needed to leave for a bit. This was necessary.

You lived with your father and grandfather in there. You took those memories and that reality for granted until the moment of parting arrived.

"You will come back," he promised. "I will bring you back here. I'm gonna keep that promise to you, okay?"

"Okay," you sniffled. You felt yourself choking up. "I know, Purple."

He hugged you to his slender shape. You melted into his grasp and his gesture, feeling comforted by his actions. You felt lucky that he was receptive to your feelings. Maybe Irken and Earthlings weren't so vastly different after all.

Your attention was seized when you caught sight of an object descending from the clouds. For a moment, you froze, feeling mortification creep into you as you thought maybe it was the air bus that Dib's family showed up in. You couldn't look away, furiously trying to identify what this flying vehicle was.

But before you could properly tag it, you heard Purple groan in despair and frustration. He pouted and moaned, sounding like a scolded child.

"Seriously?!" he griped. "Zim, go away!"

You'd much rather deal with Zim than Dib at this point. At least Zim was on your side. Sort of. On the other hand, Dib wanted to ruin your life and painted you out to be some sort of traitorous monster.

"Why's he here?" you wondered, genuinely intrigued.

"Who cares!" Purple huffed in annoyance. "He's probably here to torment me one last time before I leave this planet!"

"Maybe it's good news?"

"Pft, yeah right!"

With your curious stare and Purple's impatient glare, the both of you watched as Zim's ship softly landed off to the side of your cabin. You held your ground wanting to know what the small Irken had to say for himself. Purple only didn't ditch Zim because there was no way he was going to leave him alone with you.

When the windshield retracted, revealing the…occupants, you were stunned. Zim wasn't alone. Someone very freakish looking and large was crammed into the tight cockpit with the infamous Invader.

But before you could fully process what the Hell was with Zim, Purple released you and shoved you behind him. You yelped in surprise and weren't expecting to have Purple's PAK limbs spring out and sprawl about in a defensive but poised fashion.

"Get on the ship!" he ordered you. "It's that thing from Area 51!"

"My Tallest!" Zim beamed. "Look what I found! After you took back your ship and fled Area 51, I stepped in to look around! The scientists couldn't believe their eyes when they saw me but they were hardly my concern!" He gestured to the hulking, monstrous passenger. "His name is Llec and he is my servant and minion now!"

"Yeah, we met, Zim!" Purple said hurriedly.

"Llec forgive you," the mutated, mismatched experiment said, offering the Tallest a toothy but friendly smile. "I better now that I no longer live in that place. No more tiny tube! Zim is Llec's friend now!"

"He is impressive but unfinished and needs more work!" Zim said. "I will pick up where the Humans left off! I will use him to help me in my mission to safeguard the planet and keep it out of the hands of any filthy traitors!"

"Sounds great, Zim!" Purple rolled his eyes. "Is he going to attack?"

"Llec no want to fight," the abomination grinned. "Llec want to go to with Friend-Zim and learn and explore and protect Earth! That what I want."

"So, it's on our side..?"

"We friends now!"

Purple narrowed his eyes at the being called Llec. He was still on alert but he noticed that the creature was calm. Perhaps it was docile for now but he was ready to eliminate the experiment if it decided to become hostile.

In the middle of this exchange, all you could do was study the escaped experiment with disbelief and astonishment. Llec smiled goofily, looking totally harmless and carefree despite his intimidating and somewhat hideous appearance. Quite truthfully, you had no idea what you were looking at. And this creature reportedly came from Area 51? Perhaps you shouldn't have been too scandalized by the reveal. Everyone knew insane things went on there undoubtedly but as to what they were, no one knew exactly. You definitely could safely say they were making monsters or creating gene spliced, bizarre entities.

"Llec see new friend!" the hulking figure boomed. He finally acknowledged your presence and noticed you. "Who you?"

"Uh, uh, I don't think so," Purple sternly corrected Llec. He stood directly in front of you, intending to shield you from him. "You can't really meet her because we're leaving anyway. Zim will be your new best friend for forever, okay?" He smiled but it was a sickening and malicious one.

"Llec want lady friend! Zim wouldn't take Jones-Lady with him!"

Purple shuddered at the recollection of Doctor Jones. The whole incident was too fresh in his mind and he knew it was going to take awhile for him to hopefully forget about it entirely. It made his skin crawl. But she was out of his life now despite her being so brief in it.

"No, Llec!" Zim huffed, crossing his arms. "We couldn't take the Jones-Human with us. She almost broke my windshield when she fell on it! Besides, Zim did not appreciate that she kept crying and saying her man-mate dumped her! It was annoying!"

"What the Hell happened when you were there?" you asked Purple, very much mystified by it all.

"I'll tell you when we leave, it's a mess," Purple sighed. "Zim, what do you want?"

"My Tallest, I'm happy I got here before you could leave!" Zim grinned. "I wanted to tell you goodbye and I hope your trip is successful and quick!"

"Okay, Zim, listen to me very carefully." Purple's mechanical limbs folded up and retreated into the PAK. "You still have your mission. Which is..?"

"Protect the Earth from traitors and rebel filth!"

"Good! Keep it up and stay right here!"

"Zim will make sure the planet is secure and perfect for when you return to absorb it into the Empire, my Tallest!"

"By the way… That large-headed freak-child? Dib? Why don't you introduce Llec to him? I'm sure he'd love to meet a new friend!"

There was no way that you could miss the menacing inflection in his voice. You scowled and walked up to Purple's side.

"Uh, bad idea," you chimed in. "Dib's a kid. I don't think he needs to be torn in half by an Area 51 escapee. He needs his ass grounded and under close supervision. That's what he needs. Seriously, Purple?"

"What?" The Tallest complained. "He's the reason why you're going with me! He attacked you and tried to expose you. Him getting roughed up by Zim's new pet is a fit punishment if you ask me! Maybe it's a bit too nice!"

"Yes, one day, I will introduce Llec to the Dib!" Zim nodded enthusiastically. "But Llec needs to be finished and processed more! His growth isn't done!" Then he paused, fully absorbing the words Purple said. "And wait, the Beast-Master is going with you?"

"Yes, I am," you confirmed. "So, you just worry about your new friend and make sure Dib isn't making things difficult, okay? I'm sure we'll meet again soon."

"You will meet the other Almighty Tallest, Beast-Master! I think you'll like him!" He then yelped quietly when he made a realization. "Just whatever you do, stay away from Foodcourtia! You can go to any place else in the universe but there! It's stinky, crowded and full of horrible people!"

"Right…" You paused, a little unsure of what to say with Zim's ominous recommendation. "Thanks for the heads up, Zim."

"You are welcome, Beast-Master!" He suddenly seemed to prick up and he beamed joyfully. "My Tallest, will you and the Beast-Master agree to have smeets created with your DNA eventually? Zim demands to be the official nanny if you do!"

You froze at his questions. Puzzled, you stared back at Zim, just wondering what he was talking about. While you gazed at him questioningly, you failed to notice that Purple was a dark green mess and quivering in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry?" you asked, raising a brow.

"My Tallest has claimed you as his female!" Zim stated matter of factly. "He told me you are his and I know Earthlings engage in filthy acts to repopulate their numbers! Surely you will have smeets!"

Oh my God.

Now you wished you only smiled and nodded and ignored him. You really wished your curiosity didn't get the better of you and coerce you to understand what he meant. Oh, you felt like a colossal idiot. You did recall that Purple told you what smeets were exactly but the lack of sleep and the abundance of stress caused your brain to short out in that moment.

"Uh, Zim?" you said with the volume of a mouse. "That's…that's not gonna happen. I'm pretty sure that's impossible!"

"Okay, we're outta here!" Purple said rapidly. "I'm so done!"

The extremely flustered Tallest scooped you up and flung you over his shoulders as if you were a sack of potatoes. You squealed at the sudden action but secretly, you were pleased he did that. That just meant Zim would be out of your hair that much quicker. Now you were even more eager to leave Earth.

Purple clambered aboard the ship and sat down in the pilot's seat, still keeping you over his shoulder. He activated the retinal scan and the transport whirred to life. He fiddled with a few controls, switches and joysticks, starting it up and desperate to leave the planet at this point. He could only take so much humiliation and weirdness at one time. This was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Bye!" Zim waved feverishly. "Happy trails! Keep in touch, my Tallest!"

Purple totally ignored Zim and focused on blasting off from the ground, racing through the atmosphere and drifting through the cosmos. He piloted the ship, maneuvering it off the earth and guiding it through the air. He stared out the windshield, still internally screaming over Zim's ridiculous insinuation. If he wasn't so embarrassed and filled with the desire to flee, he most likely would've duct taped him to the back of his ship and exited Earth's orbit.

"Purple, put me down!" you said, trying to struggle and roll off. "Come on!"

"Wait until we're out of Earth's orbit!" he retorted. "I got you!"

He bit his lower lip and tried to ignore everything Zim said. And even if he did have smeets of his own, there was absolutely no way he'd let Zim near them let alone be on the same planet as he was. That was out of the question. Zim was already a horrible Invader, he'd be an even worse nanny.

Clouds whirred by as the ship continued to ascend. The sky became darker and the stars more visible as he climbed into the outer layers of the planet's atmosphere. The ship held strong and didn't rumble or shake as it made its journey. So far, so good. He was optimistic.

A minute later, the ship finally pulled away from the outermost layer and then he sped up, breaking free from the planet's gravitational pull. Purple slumped in his seat, feeling relieved and happy that his ship emerged intact. He wasn't much of a pilot but he commissioned it to be made by the finest technicians and mechanics in the Armada. It was built to be endurable, fast, comfortable, efficient and reliable. He wouldn't admit it out loud but considering how well it was running despite crashing and being partially repaired by Humans, the Irken mechanics did a fantastic job with it.

Finally, he set you down into his lap. Now the ship was stabilized and was ready to go in whatever direction its owner wanted.

You just couldn't believe you were actually in space. It was exactly as you imagined; frightening, beautiful and fantastical. And you knew that it was only going to be a whole lot more interesting from here.

Chapter Text

Chapter 23 Lovers Amongst the Stars

(…)

"I…"

You hesitated and stared out the windshield. Stars whizzed past you as the shuttle hurtled through the endless expanse. This somehow didn't feel real. This felt like you were dreaming. The only folks on your planet who got to experience something like this were extensively trained scientists and astronauts. And yet here you were, travelling around in some alien's luxury space Corvette or whatever the hell this shuttle was the equivalent to.

You were going to see things no Earthling had ever set their eyes on. You were going to see it all for the first time and it would be unlike anything you ever dreamed or assumed. In reality, you had no idea what exactly was out there but from what Purple had briefly described and mentioned, it sounded mind-numbing. You were truly and literally travelling way out of your comfort zone. But this was way past the point of no return. Earth was behind and the vast, infinite boundaries of the universe and beyond, lain before you.

"I'm really in space?" you asked, wondering if this was really happening. Desperately, you felt like you needed a reality check.

"Geez, your species really needs to normalize space travel," Purple huffed.

"Pardon us for still being in the Stone Age," you quipped back. "Maybe you can help us out of our ignorance when this war is done and over with."

"We'll get there when we get there."

His spindly fingers danced along the control panel and some alien script or language popped up on one of the screens. Apparently, this must've been what the Irken language actually looked like. You quietly sat, observing it and only wondering what it said. It looked somewhat like some ancient script you learned about in high school awhile back. Maybe it was cuneiform..?

There was a healthy chance you were going to have to learn it all. It'd certainly be helpful especially if you were going to be amongst these creatures for an undetermined amount of time. Besides, you always meant to try to pick up a second language. Now this was the perfect opportunity and there was no excuse to not pursue that goal.

"Okay, this thing is on autopilot," he said. "I hate to do this but I really need to contact Red."

"Yeah, go ahead," you nodded.

"Sit here and wait for me to come back. Don't touch anything and if something happens, yell for me."

"Purple, I wouldn't even know what to touch. Trust me, I'm not putting my fingers on any buttons or control panels because the last thing I need is to end up self-destructing this ship somehow."

"You don't have to worry about that since the self-destruct mechanism is remote. I control that with my PAK."

"Okay, I feel a bit better knowing about that…"

"One other thing too…"

"Yes?"

He slid you off of his lap and placed you in the pilot's seat. Nervously, he wrung his hands together and he was obviously blushing. His large, purple eyes were focused on the ground and it looked like he didn't have the guts to look at you.

"Forget about that crazy stuff Zim was talking about," he said.

For a moment, you totally forgot about the insanity Zim spouted that pretty much coerced Purple to leave Earth at that particular moment. While you were busy coping with the reality of being in outer space, it slipped your mind. But now that the Tallest reminded you about that, the embarrassment kicked in and came rushing back in a merciless torrent.

"Purple, don't worry," you said, sitting cross legged in the plush chair. "I know Zim is insane. He just spouts madness and that's that."

"Ha, yeah!" he smiled nervously. "Besides, I don't think we're compatible like that anyway. That'd be really weird!"

"Yeah… I'm pretty sure that's impossible."

"…I'm gonna go talk to Red now."

"Okay."

Purple quickly turned around and hustled out of the cockpit, leaving you alone. You only sat back in the seat and continued to stare out the windshield.

You were only moving farther and farther away from Earth. You were far from everything and everyone you knew. And God only knew when you'd come back. Maybe it'd be a few weeks or possibly some years. There was no telling how long this new chapter in your life was going to play out. All you knew was that you had to try to stay alive and make it back to Earth somehow, some way, some day.

You were already homesick. But again, you reminded yourself it was necessary.

(…)

Purple somehow managed to wedge himself into the storage closet towards the back of his ship. Though the space was tiny and a bit cramped, he felt secure and he believed he'd have enough privacy. He was tempted to take the call in his bedroom but the furry beasts were temporarily locked up in there and he didn't need them clambering over him while he was speaking to his co-Tallest.

He took a deep breath. It'd be a few years since he last talked to him. Even before their days as Tallest, they always kept in close contact, be it physically or through video calls. It would feel so strange to finally reach out after this extended period of silence and exile. He even found himself hesitating and privately wondering if Red would somehow be angry for not getting back to him sooner.

Truly, he disliked being at odds with Red. Training and sparring with him during their Elite days was one thing. They were expected and they enjoyed pushing each other to fight harder and better themselves. But actually getting into a feud with him over some matter was something he hated. All he wanted to associate with Red was good times, sharing power, trips down memory lane and having someone to rely on. The last thing he wanted to be was his enemy and object of his disdain.

Purple slumped to the floor and sighed. He was nervous. He thought he was going to be excited and eager to reach out. Yet now that he was about to do it, he was stalling. Maybe Red would be different. Maybe somehow the years of separation changed him? What if he grew taller?

"Please be the same Red I know," he muttered. "Please, please, please, be Red..!"

He yelped when he heard his PAK beeping. Someone was trying to contact him.

It was Red.

Purple felt like he was going to have a panic attack. He bit his lower lip, hesitating and thinking what he could do. Yet what he did know was that he couldn't put this off. For his own safety, he'd have to rejoin the Armada and Red. There was no way that he could ignore his call.

"You were a soldier, Purple," he told himself. "Now you're a Tallest. Act like one!"

He huffed and mustered up his courage.

A small compartment on his PAK opened up and a small display screen floated out. It glided to face him and the screen displayed static on it. Red still called.

He answered.

All of that anxiety and fear melted away as soon as he saw that familiar face. A huge grin spanned across Purple's face and he visibly shook in glee. He squealed loudly and almost hugged the screen in his joy.

"Red!" he said, his voice breaking.

"Good to see you too, Purple," his dear, longtime friend smiled back at him. "I'm just happy to see you're alive and in one piece!"

"I'm happy to see you're alive too! I was so worried and I wanted to contact you so many times! But I didn't want to blow our cover and end up getting you captured or killed."

"As much as I want to chat more about nicer things with you, things are kinda bad right now. Where are you?"

"I just left Earth. Zim told me he got a hold of you on the Massive and he told everyone where I was."

"Good…" Red sighed in relief. "I'm glad you got out of there."

"Zim was a bothersome pest, I couldn't take it anymore."

"Purple, the Massive is still as dangerous as it was when we left it. I thought Rarl Kove might've cleaned up some of the mess but it's still here. I was almost assassinated as soon as I stepped onboard."

Purple fell silent. That was not good news. It seemed like the rebels were still very much present and hadn't been weeded out during his absence. They weren't going anywhere.

"Is that how you got that cool scar on your face?" Purple asked, finally noticing the blemish on his cheek.

"No, that was something else entirely," Red sighed. "I'll tell you about that later. Look, I called you to tell you to get off Earth but you beat me to it. There's no way I'm communicating you through any channels on the Massive because any spies can possibly trace our calls. So, if we're gonna contact each other, it needs to be on our private lines. Even then there's a chance for some sort of… I don't know, sabotage. Just look at me! I'm contacting you from my closet!"

"I'm…doing the same thing."

"We can't afford to be cowards anymore, Purple. After that attempt on my life, I let everyone know that I wasn't going to back off. I'm not going anywhere and I am going to win this war. I refuse to lose."

"I know, Red. I know that we can't let these people get away with things anymore."

"We're going to destroy the Resisty and all of these rebellious defectives. We're gonna do it together and we're gonna be the greatest Tallests that ever reigned!"

"Yeah, I like the sound of that! Count me in!"

"I have to ask you about one other thing."

"What is it?"

"Zim told me that you were sheltering with an Earthling. A female Earthling actually."

…Zim did not tell him that he told Red about this. This was not how he wanted to Red to find out about his female's existence. He wanted to rehearse and prepare for this reveal. At this moment, he was granted no time to explain himself. He was caught and he didn't know what to do or say.

"Judging by the look on your face, you know exactly what I'm talking about," Red deduced. "You make the same face when I catch you swiping my donuts from me."

"Ah, yeah," Purple laughed nervously. "But I'm not gonna try to lie about that! But, uh, the Human… She willingly helped me and hid me from her Earth government! Red, she shielded me from them."

"As she should because I'm sure she knew what would happen if she betrayed you."

"Trust me, Red, she's the best Human on that planet."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I made her part of my staff! She's got some…talents."

"Okay, wait. So, you left Earth? And she's still there? You didn't kill her or erase her mind or anything? You made her part of your…or our entourage?"

"She… She's with me. I welcomed her into our service. She's on my ship."

"…what? Are you serious?"

Red looked and sounded like he was becoming increasingly confused. Purple didn't understand how Red seemed so incapable of processing this information. In fact, it was starting to sow some seeds of paranoia in him. There was no reason for his friend to be reacting this way.

"I brought her with me," he reiterated. "She's coming with me to the Massive."

"Have you lost your mind?!" the scarred Tallest blurted. "Are you crazy?!"

Purple cringed at the loudness even through the monitor. It was so loud that he thought the speakers were going to be blown out. He was stunned for a moment but he quickly snapped out of it. He cleared his throat.

"Red, you gotta trust me on this," he urged. "This Earthling is okay. She won't betray us or cause any problems. I told her to come with me because Zim's nemesis was harassing her."

"You should've just killed her before you left, it would've made things so much easier!" Red lectured him. "Purple, sometimes, when you don't think before you act, bad stuff happens to you!"

"I'm not killing her, Red, there's no way I'm doing that! And don't scold me or treat me like I'm a smeet, I'm not one anymore!"

"Earthlings are the enemy! You've seen and heard about them even before you went to their planet! They're ugly, stinky and stupid!"

"Not this one! She's mine!"

"Purple, this creature isn't a toy, it's an enemy and it could ruin us all!"

"Don't talk about her like that! She is not my enemy! She isn't your enemy! She's on our side! Look, I've made plans that for when this is done and over with, Earth is going to be a part of the Empire. They make the best snacks in the universe and I've decided to make it my own personal bakery and retreat."

"…you claimed a planet for yourself?"

"Uh, yeah." Purple's tone was deadpanned and he narrowed his gaze at Red. "Earth is mine."

An exasperated and tired sigh came from Red. He couldn't believe the things that were coming out of Purple's mouth. He was definitely speaking to his friend but it seemed like his co-Tallest became possessive and obsessed with this Human he spoke of. Red was definitely concerned. This was what had happened whenever he shuttered communications with him. This was going to be a mess he'd have to sort through whenever he'd get a hold of Purple in person.

"Okay, okay," Red conceded. "Look, I'm no mood to argue with you, Purple. I haven't spoken with you for a long time and this is the last thing I want to do. I don't want to be mad at you."

"I get it," Purple nodded. He could feel himself calm down steadily. Just like with Red, he also didn't want to fight with him. "I don't wanna be angry with you either."

"Just get to the Massive, okay? I'll give you my position and you give me yours. From there, we'll try to meet at a halfway point to make it easier for both of us?"

"I agree, sounds good."

"Let's keep communication shuttered again unless if we absolutely have to talk to each other about something. Let's make your arrival a surprise so we can keep the assassins and spies guessing. Also, promise me something."

"Yeah?"

"Be careful. Watch your back, okay? The traitors are looking for you, Purple. They know I'm on the Massive now so they're looking even harder to find you. If they find you, they'll kill you. Promise me you'll make it to the Massive alive."

Purple nodded his head solemnly. Clearly, he could see the concern etched onto his features. Red wasn't joking about this thing. He was completely and wholly serious.

"I'll be there, Red," Purple remarked. "We have a lot to talk about when we finally meet up. We'll iron things out and make sure we're on the same page."

"Fair enough," Red said. "Good luck."

Red was the one who hung up. The screen turned to static and the display screen floated back into its compartment in his PAK.

Purple rested his back against the wall and let out a small sigh. It could've gone better but it could've been way worse too. The news about his travel companion obviously angered Red but Purple was steadfast. He wasn't going to pressure him to feel guilty or force him to take her back to Earth. She was on the ship and was en route to the Massive. There was no changing that.

The best part about it was that Red had no idea of Purple's exact relationship with her. The Tallest was finally going to divulge that piece of information whenever he'd see his coruler in the flesh. And Red was going to accept that fact no matter what. He only hoped Red would respect his choice in a female as much as he did with Pax. Although the concept of Red and Pax together confused him immensely, he accepted it. But now he fully understood what it was.

It was a leftover, repressed trait from his species' past. It allowed them to thrive and continue. It was closeness, intimacy, companionship.

And eventually, they betrayed their own origins. These urges to establish relationships, be it romantic or platonic, were cut out. They were deemed undesirable and inefficient. They were stigmatized and seen as a weakness.

But Irken technology was not perfect. PAKs were capable of malfunctioning and were vulnerable to trauma like any other piece of machinery. Defects of many sorts and categories were present in almost every Irken. Some were simply more acceptable, were ignored or brushed under the rug especially if they were tall. Other defects were labeled as more detrimental and costly to the progress of the Empire and so the defective Irken would be promptly culled.

Purple knew he was a defect. But this was a defect he was going to happily embrace. And if the Control Brains were to question him or imply termination, well, they could certainly try it. He wasn't going down without a fight.

(…)

"Are things okay? I heard raised voices."

You posed that question to him when he reentered the cockpit. Purple quietly walked in and you moved aside for him. When he reclaimed his seat, he pulled you into his lap. He rested his chin on the top of your head and idly ran his fingers through your hair.

"I can't lie to you about this," he said. "So…as it turns out, Red found out about you even before I could tell him. Zim happened to talk about you when he contacted him earlier."

Inevitably, you knew you were going to meet Red one way or another. That was a reality you couldn't escape. You were trying to mentally prepare for this meeting but in the pit of your stomach, you had a suspicion it probably wasn't going to be particularly pleasant or smooth.

"Oh…" you mumbled, feeling anxiety ferment in your gut. "That's convenient."

"Next time I see Zim, he's dead," Purple decided. "But now Red knows about you."

"And what did you tell him?"

"I told him you're with me and that you'll be on the Massive with us as a member of our staff."

"You know, since we're on the subject, who exactly are the other members of your staff? I think it's safe to assume I'll probably be working with these folks if they're going to be my…coworkers, sort of."

"I guess it depends if they're even still alive. But there's Rarl Kove, our advisor and regent. He was taking care of the Empire while Red and I were absent. There's also Soda Master Bepzee, he's our beverage specialist. He makes pretty awesome mix drinks too! And there's our tailor, Spindul. He does a real good job of keeping our garments clean and sharp for all the right occasions! And last but certainly not least there's our Snack Specialist, Kookee. Her job is to prepare all of our snacks."

"Lord, I hope Kookee is paid the best out of all of them. I've seen the way you eat so I can just imagine what Hell she has to go through by making food for two Tallests."

"She's a great snack maker! But she might be out of a job if she can't replicate her donut recipes to match the donut-witch's creations!"

You laughed out loud at his insinuation.

"I don't think Mrs. Colacci will be willing to go on board a space ship and make donuts, cookies and sweets for two alien emperors all day," you snickered.

"Why not?" Purple asked, cocking his head to the side. "She likes making sweets and treats! Isn't that why she sells them? I bought all of her donuts every time we went there! I'm definitely hiring her if Kookee fails!"

"Because she's old! She can't move as fast as she used to and she'd be overwhelmed by cooking for the both of you! Your demands would exceed her capabilities. Besides, the trip will probably kill her."

"She seems tougher than that!"

"Purple, come on…"

"Well, if I'm claiming Earth as my own, she'll be my chef for when I'm there." He beamed happily. "There, problem solved!"

"Alright…" You sighed. "There's Rarl Kove, Bepzee, Spindul and Kookee. I'll have to remember them. Is there anyone else? Four people on your staff seems kinda small. I thought you'd have more folks to serve you personally."

"Pax was our PAK Technician. She was the fifth member of our entourage too but then she got killed. She maintained our PAKs obviously."

"I see." A thought occurred to you. "So, the raised voices. You and Red argued?"

"He doesn't trust you." Purple wasn't going to cut corners. "He thinks you're an enemy. But I told him to back off and I vouched for you. I told him you're not an enemy. But I didn't tell him we're a couple."

"Hey, one step at a time, right? Maybe it's better to tell him about our exact status when we see him in person. I don't think Red trusts me because, well, I'm an alien to you guys first off. That and I think he's worried about you. He doesn't want you to get hurt. I think it's natural for him to be fishy of me. I mean, he's never met me to begin with so I get it. I'd be suspicious and worried too if my best friend showed up out of the blue after no contact and saying they're driving across the country with someone they met a few months earlier."

"Red has nothing to worry about. If I trust you, then he should too. When we meet him, it'll be good. He'll see there's nothing to freak out over."

"I'm kinda scared over everything." You admitted it outright to him. "This is all so new, strange and weird. And I just hope I don't fail spectacularly or get myself killed."

"Hey, I got you." Purple removed his head from its perch and he looked back at you. He smiled at you and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you. Remember what I said? You looked after me and I'll look after you. That's a promise."

You did feel lucky. A few months earlier, you hated his guts. You wanted to shoot him and dump his corpse in some particularly secluded, little travelled section of the forest. He was piggish, selfish, arrogant, entitled and a general piece of shit. And you never imagined you'd be in this position later on. You never could've predicted it.

But he softened up and opened up as well. There was more depth to him than you previously assumed. Beneath that haughtiness and spoiled façade, he was quite awkward and also very sweet. He was affection starved and emotionally constipated. You pitied him.

And before you knew it, you fell hard for him. You also didn't realize it until you began to develop these feelings for him that you were as much as a mess as he was. He wasn't perfect, he was far from it. But that was alright. You weren't the epitome of excellence either. The both of you could be two, awkward, imperfect, losers in love together. You were sure you'd get through whatever the universe threw at you. Somehow.

"I couldn't ask for a better guide," you smiled shyly. Your cheeks darkened. "I expect to be taken on plenty of fantastic and romantic dates to all sorts of cool planets."

Purple nodded dumbly at you and his cheeks became darkened like yours. His antennae fell flat against the back of his head, belying his embarrassment. Despite it, he smiled goofily and looked more than eager to carry out your wishes.

You laughed at his reaction and granted him a kiss.

"I'm joking," you chuckled. "I'm not a high maintenance woman. Just don't cheat on me and I think we'll be okay."

"Pft!" Purple scoffed. "No other female in the universe smells as good as you. Nor is she as comfortable, warm, cute and smart. I'm happy with my choice."

"Good. I know I'm quite honored to have such a tall, handsome and strong Irken on my side."

His antennae pricked upwards, almost perfectly erect. His smile was large and proud and he almost looked like he was overwhelmed for an instant.

"Really?!" he beamed. "You really think I am?" His expression turned shy. "I know I said Red was considered more handsome…"

"Then that's their fault for not realizing how attractive you are," you smirked. "They missed out."

"Yeah, maybe you're right! They snoozed so they lose! But even if they were interested in me, it probably wouldn't work. I had no idea no idea Earthling females were so…right."

His meek but genuine smile became tainted with something else in that exact moment. Some sort of mischievous hint crept into it and he growled quietly. His antennae twitched as he stared back at you.

You returned the stare. You gazed into those huge, purple eyes, unable to make out what was on his mind exactly. There was a suspicion you had but you weren't sure…

Then he blinked and it looked like he was snapped out of whatever was going on with him. He paused and it seemed like he was quietly processing something for a moment.

"You okay?" you asked, raising a brow.

"Hold on, babe," he said softly.

With one hand, his fingers fluidly danced over the buttons and controls. He was inputting something. Then a display screen popped up, showing the figure of an oddly shaped, pinkish spaceship. An icon that looked like the shuttle you were in appeared as well and it looked like the two transports were heading directly for one another. The distance between them was significant.

"Is that the Massive?" you asked, taking a wild guess as you studied the star map.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Red and I exchanged coordinates and now we're moving towards each other."

"And do we have an estimated time of arrival of sorts?"

"Earth is a backwater planet. The closest, most civilized world on the outer most fringes of the Empire is about ten days away."

Okay. That was fine. At least it wasn't fifteen years. This was alien technology you were dealing with and it was infinitely faster and more powerful than any spacefaring vehicle Earth had produced.

"That's not so bad," you said. "I think we'll survive."

"We've got plenty of snacks til we make it to that world and we can restock on supplies while we're there," Purple assured you. "Plus, we can play video games, watch movies, talk…and other things."

Of course, something popped up inside your he said "other things". You really needed to get your mind out of the gutter. But you also couldn't help but wonder what exactly it was like. It could either be harmless intimacy or you'd end up with your organs spilling out of you. You had no idea what Irken mating was like and you were pretty certain Purple had no idea about the matter as well.

"Well, uh…" you scratched the back of your head. "Do we have an estimated time as to when we'll be meeting up with Red?"

"That's why I almost failed piloting basics," he shrugged. "I only passed because Red helped me cheat."

That was something you didn't need to hear. Traveling with an alien who could barely drive his own ship… And this creature also wanted to drive your truck around when you were on Earth with him? You were so glad you never granted him that opportunity.

"But it shouldn't take more than a year," Purple elaborated. "The Massive is way faster, sturdier and better equipped than this ship so we should be able to meet up with Red in no time, don't sweat it."

"Right," you noted.

You were a frayed ball of nerves. It was a lot to process and take in already and you weren't even on the Massive yet. You could only imagine what you'd be like at that exact moment of truth. Maybe you'd literally die from culture shock. Or you might end up dead before you even arrive at the warship.

"What can I do to help you calm down?" Purple asked.

"Maybe some chocolate and a movie?" you suggested. "I still gotta check on Baby and Bambi too."

"We'll do that together. And we'll sit down and watch a movie or two. And we'll eat some snacks together." He blinked when he realized something. "Wait. Humans need sleep… Did you sleep at all when I was at Area 51?"

You were so worked up and worried that you only power napped a few times and even then, they were light, fitful rests. Honestly, you didn't realize until he mentioned it that you were pretty wiped out. Maybe some deep sleep would help out with your stress and anxiety.

"Hardly," you confessed.

"Then you gotta be running on fumes!" Purple said. "Earthlings need their sleep or they suffer. Sleep first, movies and snacks later, okay?"

"Fine." You let out a yawn. "I guess I do need it."

"You just yawned, yeah, you need it. So, don't argue with me."

You snorted but didn't debate with him. Purple exited his seat and carried you off to his resting quarters.

The door to the room opened up and you could see the Baby and Bambi snoozing together in the dog bed on the floor. It eased you to see that they had one another to give comfort and you were happy to see they were resting for now. Perhaps they were as stressed and tired as you were.

Purple laid you down on the long and narrow bed. And wow was it comfortable and plush... It was as if you were set down on a fluffy, flawless cloud. Now that you were on it, you were pretty sure you never wanted to crawl out of it.

"I'll be busy making sure everything is running smoothly and maybe I'll watch some movies or something, I don't know," said Purple.

"You can always join me," you offered. "I mean, this is your bed."

Purple shook his head but he smiled as he did so.

"Thanks but no thanks," he said. "You need sleep more than I do. Besides, you need to get as much rest as you can." He grabbed the quilt you brought with you and threw it over you. "I can go a few weeks without sleep if I absolutely have to."

"There's zero fun in that," you huffed. You burrowed beneath the quilt, getting comfortable and poking your head back out.

"You're pretty much the only reason why I want to sleep." His face turned a darker shade of green. "I can at least hold you and join you."

He knelt down and kissed you and you happily returned the gesture to him. Yeah, maybe you really were lucky…

"Yell if you need me," he said. "I'm stuck here so I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay, thanks," you smiled. "Night, Purple."

"Night, babe."

He turned and quietly left the room, granting you your peace and solitude.

(The Massive)

His chambers were the only havens of sanctuary and peace he had onboard the Massive. He could decompress, think and sulk as need be in his quarters and no one would disturb him unless if an absolutely necessary matter popped up that he couldn't ignore. Sometimes he needed to take a break from the madness and chaos in his midst. Nothing had changed in his absence. It was in these rooms where he felt he could safely reach out to his co-Tallest with the risk of interception or sabotage being less likely.

Red remained huddled in the corner of his closet, disbelieving the conversation he had with Purple a few minutes earlier. He was astonished and more than anything else, concerned. He couldn't believe that Purple developed this strange, weird fascination with a female Earthling. He almost didn't want to believe that Zim's yammering was actually the truth. But his friend indeed confirmed he had a Human travelling with him.

Admittedly, Red was curious about the dominant race that Zim was studying. He always wanted to see one in person and confirm what Zim claimed about them. They were an interesting species and the Tallest was intrigued by them. But this? This wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want a Human on the Massive and potentially make things worse than they already are.

"Ugh, Purple, you idiot!" he muttered. "What parasite lodged itself in your brain when you were on Earth?! Do they even have brain parasites there?!"

He sighed exhaustively and cradled his head in his hands. Granted, he was happy Purple looked and sounded like he was alive and well. His eyes looked bright, his color was healthy and he seemed unchanged other than the fact he had a Human accompanying him. Clearly, he didn't seem like he was suffering too much during his exile.

Red couldn't stop thinking about the exchange. In the pit of his spooch, he had a feeling Purple was attached to this creature. He knew his friend was greedy and didn't like to share but there was something strange in his voice when he claimed the Human was his. And then he said he claimed Earth as his own personal retreat?

He'd have to let it go. It was beyond his control for now. He trusted Purple to be smart. So far, he managed to survive exile and being on the run. He was doing something right if he was still alive. All he could do was wait for to reunite with him. He would address everything when the time was right. He was already stressed enough as it was.

Red finally got up and left the dark space of the wardrobe. He exited it and knelt down beside his bed. He reached under it and pulled out the box that held his beloved puppets.

The Tallest opened it up and beheld the three figures that he had crafted. The fake, glossy, red, purple and ruby eyes of the puppets stared back at him. Gingerly, he plucked the effigy of Pax out of it.

"I didn't do a bad job with making you," he said to himself. A ghost of a smile was on his face as he admired his handiwork. "I worked the hardest on you."

He exhaled and laid back on his bed. He rested the puppet of his late female against his chest. It felt like centuries ago but only a few years passed since they once rested like this. Deeply and truly, he missed it. He missed her.

He still remembered her face, her eyes, her voice… But it seemed like that every time he reflected on Pax, his memory of her became a little cloudier. It frightened him. He couldn't and wouldn't forget her. At least with her puppet, he captured her likeness just in case if his memory failed him for whatever reason.

Intently, he stared at the puppet, almost hoping and wishing it'd somehow talk and come to life. Somehow, he wished a piece of her being was in this doll and he could interact with her again. He missed everything about her.

"Did you seriously have to eat almost all of my chocolate covered popcorn? Why?"

"What a shame, I guess we'll have to share the rest of it. How silly of me!"

"Red, I know you did it on purpose… You can say goodbye to those nachos of yours because I'll eat them out of pure vengeance now."

"Oh, are you threatening your Tallest? Am I supposed to be scared?"

The female technician smirked playfully and leapt at him. She pinned him beneath her and gave him a stony, unamused stare. But then her front dropped completely and she smiled at him. A few seconds later, she began to mercilessly tickle his sides.

Red erupted into laughter and flailed about recklessly, trying to free himself from Pax's grasp. Her own laughter mixed in with his and the two tall Irken harmlessly struggled against one another.

"That's not fair, cut it out!"

"It's more than fair, you big bully! This is payback! And you sound like the tiniest smeet with that laughter, my Tallest."

Eventually, as time wore on and as he got older, his mind would start to fail him. That was inevitable. It was an ugly and disquieting thing but it was reality. One day, he would look at her puppet and wonder who she was.

And honestly, Red hoped he would be dead before the day he'd completely forget about Pax.

Chapter Text

Chapter 24 The First Stop

(ten days later)

"Deceptidorks, rise up!"

Purple narrowed his gaze and watched the film with scrutinizing eyes. He kept focused on the screen as he shoved a handful of nachos into his mouth. He had to admit, this movie was pretty interesting and it caught his attention. It was making the gears in his head turn.

"Kinda makes me wonder about SIR units," he noted.

"What?" you wondered out loud.

"SIRs. They're little robots that are commonly used as helpers and assistants. They're mostly used by our Invaders."

"You're comparing these SIRs to Mechatronians?"

"They're both robots! And SIRs have a bunch of neat little features and whatnot that may or may not be making me suspicious…"

"But can they turn into vehicles and machines?"

"Not really. Not to that extent!" He gestured to the screen that was playing the movie the both of you settled on. "I'll be sure to toss anyone out the airlock who suggests making SIRs enormous and able to turn into spaceships. Last thing we need is our robots becoming too independent and overthrowing us!" His eyes widened as a revelation occurred to him. "There better not be one that can be big enough to transform into the Massive!"

You snickered and helped yourself to the huge bowl of nachos you shared with him. It was nice that you had been awarded the privilege of sharing food with him. Now you no longer worried about him biting one of your fingers off. From what you understood, it was more of a sign of trust and honor more than anything else when it came down to his kind.

"Good thing it's just a movie then," you teased him.

"Anyway, the mighty Armada would win against the Mechatronian filth!" Purple sniffed. "No Deceptidorks or Autodums could ever defeat us! We have superior numbers, weaponry and might!"

"Until one of them turns into a toaster and sabotages your plans." You cackled.

"That's not funny!"

"You're gonna have nightmares about them now?"

"No!"

You laughed and kissed his cheek. Purple wore a pouty expression and looked rather peeved.

"Alright, I'll stop," you smiled. "Let's just watch the film."

The Tallest muttered quietly and shoved another helping of nachos into his maw. Despite his annoyance, he allowed you to curl up against him and get comfortable while you watched the film together. Your hand dug around inside the bowl, being sure to scoop up a gob of cheese onto a chip.

The past ten days with him were lowkey and relaxing. Your fear of the cosmos had somewhat diminished but it still lingered in the back of your mind. It was helpful to have him with you and distract you with movies and video games. It was further calming to have your animals with you. You thought it was rather pathetic and ironic that the dog and rabbit seemed more at ease with the whole concept of space travel in contrast to their Human owner. Maybe you were acting like an irrational, big chicken over this whole ordeal.

There was not much else you could do while you were fixed on this route. At any moment, the ship would come across this planet Purple mentioned. Apparently, it was called Conveniencia, and it was a convenience store planet. At first you thought it was a bad joke when Purple told you about it but you quickly learned he was all too serious. It was a horrible, tacky name for a world but you left it at that. You still had an ample amount of supplies but it was decided to stock up again just in case if something came up. Something like a detour or roadblock could definitely delay things and it was something the both of you decided to not press your luck with.

Deep inside, you still missed Earth. You knew that you always would no matter what. You fretted over Ted, Kendra and Zack. They'd most likely be alright and you trusted them to watch after your zone while you were gone for however long this trip would take. You pitied Ted, only imagining the weirdness of having to describe to your coworkers you were whisked away by a space man. Kendra probably would be happy for you just for the simple fact she'd view it as a godsent booty call.

You could've sworn you gained about fifteen pounds in those ten days as well. There really wasn't much room for exercise of any sort and all you could really do was talk, eat and indulge in some media in whatever form you could manage. Purple seemed perfectly content to do these things and encouraged you to do the same while the ship hurtled through space. There was literally nothing else that could be done and you knew it all too well. It was maddening but completely beyond your power. It wasn't like you could tell him to pull over somewhere for an hour so you could stretch your legs out. Besides the occasional hunk of space rock, there was nothing. He wasn't lying when he said Earth was far off.

There was also something else that you noticed in the middle of all of this. Too many times, you caught him just staring at you. Sometimes you could feel him eyeing you up even before you realized he was in the same part of the ship you were in. Several times, you asked him about it, wondering if things were alright or if there was something wrong. Each time you called him out about it, he seemed as if he snapped out of a trance, looked confused or totally guilty. Whenever you'd try to discuss the matter with him, he'd brush it off, saying it was nothing.

You couldn't sense or see anything malicious in those huge, colorful eyes but it still made you curious and a bit concerned. Sometimes, it felt like he was studying you at a molecular level. It almost seemed like you were some amoeba under some high-powered microscope. It was all harmless most likely, that's what you told yourself. He was an alien and he had his quirks. It was probably normal… Probably.

Though he complained of being tired a few times already, he declined every single offer you made in getting him to join you in bed. He urged you to sleep in his bed, saying again and again he would be alright and he had to make sure the ship was fine. In fact, he seemed dead set against the idea. He refused to rest with you. As long as he persisted, it actually made you a little insecure and anxious. Maybe there was something wrong with you? Did you stink really badly but he didn't have the heart to tell you for some reason?

It bothered you immensely. For as long as you remained silent and thought about it, the less you were able to focus on the movie. You couldn't achieve your peace until you figured out what was bothering him.

"Purple?" you asked, looking up at him.

"Hmm?" he replied, sipping on his soda.

"Did I do something wrong? Did I piss you off somehow?"

He set his drink down on the nearby table and blinked, displaying his confusion. He paused for a few seconds then looked back at you.

"No, why?" he questioned in return, genuinely sounding vexed. "What do you mean?"

"I know you're tired," you said. "How about I sleep on the air mattress I packed up and you sleep in your bed later on? I can't keep hogging it up and kicking you out."

"No, I want you to have it! I can handle the exhaustion. Besides, I take little naps in the cockpit when you're snoozing anyway."

"Purple, that's not fair for yourself. Please, sleep in your bed."

"You need the sleep, that's what it's for, babe."

"Do I fart in my sleep?" He actually laughed loudly at your all too serious question. "I'm serious!"

"Yeah, who doesn't?"

"Do I disgust you?"

"No! Where are you getting these insane ideas from?!"

"Because I'm worried that I did something wrong!"

"You didn't do anything wrong!"

"Please, be honest with me… That's what part of being in a relationship is about, hon. We have to talk, we have to discuss. We have to address anything that is bothering us so we can understand things and try to make it better."

Purple looked flustered and at a loss for words. His antennae twitched and fell flat against the back of his head.

"It's definitely not you, okay?" he said. "It's…it's me."

"Then what's up?" you entreated. You smooched his chin and nuzzled him gingerly. "Maybe I can help out somehow? Talk to me."

He laughed nervously. The Tallest swallowed roughly and tossed another gooey portion of nachos into his jaws.

"Oh, you can really help me out," he almost whispered while he chewed his food.

"Then tell me," you asserted. "We've got all this time, hon, let's try to work on whatever is on your mind."

"I can't!" he blurted. Random flecks of chips and cheese flew from his mouth. "I can't do it..!"

"Yes, you can!" You wiped your face off, feeling a piece of chip sticking to your cheek. Yeah, it was disgusting but you were far more invested in helping him out. Now that he admitted there was an issue, you weren't going to back off. "Purple, it's only gonna get worse the longer you put it off! Trust me, procrastination seems great a lot of the time but in reality, it only gets you in a world of shit!"

"I want to mate with you!"

When those words left his mouth, you shut down. You froze, wondering for a moment if he really blurted those words out. It was taking way too long to register in your head. It also didn't help that you were blushing intensely. You thought you were about to get third degree burns from it at that point.

"I want you really, really badly," Purple said. "That's why I didn't want to get in bed with you. I want it a lot but I don't know how to do it… I don't want to look stupid. I don't want to end up hurting you or myself."

"Uh…" you said, your eyes huge. "Purple, it's okay. That's normal, I guess…"

"No, it's not." He hung his head in shame. "Remember what I said about us not being attached to anyone? Friendships and romantic connections are frowned upon. So, when it comes down to something really intimate like with us…" He exhaled. "It's even more complicated."

"Can you tell me anything about Irken, uh, mating rituals or customs? Surely your species had something like that in your past?" You saw these were potentially treacherous waters. You didn't want to upset him. "Is there any sort of information that you have?"

"Irken mating is very similar to Human mating."

Ah. AH. Okay then.

"In what aspects?" you asked, your blush growing even hotter.

"Females have certain equipment as do males," Purple elaborated. "Back then, females carried and birthed the smeets. Males stuck around and helped to take care of their subsequent broods."

"So, you have…something?"

"Yeah…"

"So internal fertilization?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"And I've done my research on Human mating and reproduction."

"Yeah, you watched porn, I caught you doing it, remember?"

"I researched actual, real mating and reproductive cycles. Like how you bleed a few days a month when you fail to find a male to fertilize you." He paused. "And I could smell the whole thing too. I knew when you were going through that cycle."

You groaned aloud and shook your head in embarrassment. Of course he had to be rather perceptive and sensitive towards these things. He was more observant than he let on. Maybe it was his training as a soldier that was to blame.

"So, our species are a bit similar in that regard," you regarded. "How curious. And as the male, you're the, uh, donor?"

"You can say that, yeah…" Purple blushed. "Irken anatomy is a little different than an Earthling's… Males and females look the same in my species aside from the females' antennae usually being curled from birth. All the differences are on the inside. I know males are usually bigger than females when it comes to Humans. With us, males and females can be tall or short. They're roughly the same size across the board. I mean, Red and I are the tallest of our species. Pax was actually close behind us. She was in line to becoming Tallest. The Fry-lord of Foodcourtia, Sizz-Lorr, would inherit the title of Tallest if Red and I kicked the bucket."

Physically, there were some differences but for the most part, the two species were similar enough. When it came down the specific situation, perhaps it was a convenient thing. Despite that, it was still a rather awkward issue. You'd have to get over this no matter what. You could tell he was insecure and unsure. Honestly, on your end, you were as well so maybe you could assist one another.

"So, it's not me," you said.

"Nope," he confirmed. "It's me one hundred percent."

"I'm relieved that's the case. I'd hate to be causing you problems and issues… But how can I help you out?"

"I think it's something I have to get over on my own." Very clearly, he looked uncomfortable and unsure what else to do, say or think. "I'll figure it out."

You felt bad for him. He was totally clueless and insecure but you couldn't blame him. It was because of this strange, constraining society he was raised in that he had no idea how to handle these feelings and desires. This was a hurdle he was going to overcome sooner or later. As much as you wanted to help him make sense of it, you were totally in the dark about this aspect of Irken biology. Not only that, you didn't want him to be even more uncomfortable and leery about the subject.

"Okay," you nodded. "I get it, honey."

You'd give him his space but stick close enough so he could approach you about it. You didn't want him to feel boxed in, pressured or trapped.

Purple whined quietly and pulled you closer to him. He curled up around you and nuzzled you affectionately.

"I know female Earthlings can be demanding when they want to mate," he smirked.

"That information is wrong," you corrected him, your face turning redder. "Not every woman is like that. Some are pretty shy and dodgy about it…"

"Are you like that?"

"I guess…"

Purple laughed quietly. He gave you a shy but genuine smile.

"We can be awkward together, right?" he joked. "I mean, at least we'll get through it with each other."

"Yeah," you smiled, wanting to comfort and assure him. "We'll get there when we get there, big guy."

"Planet in proximity!"

Both of you were snapped to attention when you heard the ship's computer make the announcement. You looked at each other.

"We made good time," Purple said. "Looks like we're on schedule."

He sat up and you moved aside, allowing him to get up. Purple shuffled out of the room, making his way to the cockpit. You followed closely behind him, eagerly to see this planet with your own eyes.

"So, do we have a game plan for here?" you asked.

"Stockpiling," the Tallest answered as he took his seat at the control panel.

"I don't think we should divide and conquer… we should stick together."

"Oh, I agree. I'm not letting you out of sight, babe. You're fresh and brand-new to all of this. I'd be an idiot if I let you go off on your own!"

"Can you give me a rundown on this planet? Anything I need to know?"

"It's the convenience store planet. That's about it."

"Okay… Anything else? Anything special we may be forgetting?"

"Ah! Let me check something real quick!"

You could see the gray and brown colored planet you were quickly closing up on. You could see lights all the way from its orbit, a dead giveaway that it was heavily industrialized and civilized. It was hard to believe this planet was ten days away from Earth. It made you wonder if the folks at NASA ever picked up on this place or if it totally evaded their attention altogether.

"Seems like the atmospheric composition is pretty much identical to Earth," he said. "So, your head won't collapse and your lungs won't explode if you try to breathe."

"Yeah, that's pretty important," you said distantly. You were happy he thought of it before you landed.

"Okay. So, we're gonna go to some shops and gather some things then we're gonna get back to the ship and leave."

"Simple and easy. Let's keep it that way."

"I fully intend to."

"Wait, don't you need a disguise? People will see this really tall Irken and it'll be like putting two plus two together!"

"Oh, you're right!" His eyes widened momentarily. "I gotta pick a disguise…" He tapped his claws on the console, thinking it over. "I'll just use my Earthling disguise!"

"Are you sure that's a good call?"

"Most aliens don't even know what a Human is! And there are so many different races and planets, one can't possibly keep all their information straight. Trust me, I'm pretty sure this'll work just fine! It's better than constantly switching up disguises for each new planet we land on."

"But maybe that's not a bad thing because it keeps people guessing…"

Purple paused.

"Maybe," he acknowledged. "But let's see how this goes. It'll be fine. And fun most of all!"

His Irken shape began to fade away and was replaced by the Human mirage you were familiar with. He gave you a thumbs up and guided the ship through the planet's atmosphere.

"And one more thing to be extra careful!" he hummed.

He tapped on the console and a tab popped up on the right side of it. On the screen was displayed an image of what looked like an ice cream truck…if that was possible.

"What is that..?" you wondered, raising a brow.

"A disguise for the ship!" Purple chirped. "People are gonna be real curious and suspicious if they see a customized Spittle runner piloted by two Earthlings. Plus, it's illegal for aliens to drive Irken spacecraft unless if they have a special permit. So let's do it the easy way and pick a costume for it!"

"And ice cream truck would draw attention. We have ice cream here but I know for sure you ain't gonna share any of it."

"Which is why I had this in mind! We're gonna be intergalactic garbage collectors!"

His fingertip slid across the screen and the image of a frumpy and unattractive looking garbage truck popped up. He clicked on it and the feature was engaged. Yes, it was hideous but it would keep people away. It was actually a good call on his part if you thought so as well.

You couldn't believe this was actually happening. You were literally going to step onto a new world. You were about to do something only astronauts and other adventurous, suicidal people could only dream of. This was an opportunity the likes of which you never even fathomed for that matter. And yet here you were; the first Earthling to set foot on the Conveniencia.

When the shuttle broke through the cloud cover, you beheld the planetary metropolis. There was metal, glass and neon lights as far as the eye could see. You were never a fan of the city and you weren't fond of the urban sprawl but this was something different. This was something you never seen before and it fascinated you.

Purple maneuvered the ship towards what looked like a parking lot. He swung it into an empty space and powered the vehicle down. Despite his claims of being a subpar pilot, he didn't do a half bad job. And no one died in the process of parking so that was another plus.

"Follow me and ignore everyone," he instructed. "There're a lot of hobos and freaks here from what I've heard. I've never been to this planet but I heard a lot about it."

"Right…" you said, feeling uneasy. "Are we gonna get robbed in a back alley or shanked by some guy who lives under a sewer grate?"

"No one would dare live in the sewers. There are ferocious gator mutants that live there and they eat everyone who goes into their territory."

You blinked, disbelieving what you just heard. You had to have been mishearing what he said to you. God, you hoped it was a joke.

"The…" you stammered. "The what?!"

"They never leave the sewers, don't sweat it," he shrugged. He grabbed your hand and the windshield retracted, exposing you to the outside. "C'mon! I really wanna see if I can pick up some space rock candy, I've been craving it!"

He hopped out of the vehicle, dragging you along with him.

Well, you didn't burst into flames nor did your eye balls rupture when you stepped out. You took a breath, fully trusting the analysis he did on the ship. A smell filled your nose that reminded you of gasoline, greasy hotdogs and blueberry smoothies.

Holy God. This really was a convenience store planet.

Amidst all the closely cloistered buildings and structures that spread out as far as you could see, there were strange shapes. There were bizarre creatures and beings that walked along the sidewalk and entered and exited the various shops around you. These were all aliens and they didn't spare you a passing glance at all. Whereas you could only gawk and stare at everything happening, they were totally disinterested, maybe even in a state of malaise.

"Oh, try not to stare," Purple chimed in. "Some aliens take offense to it."

"Y-yeah…" you stuttered, trying to snap yourself out of it. "I knew that!"

Purple laughed and looped one of his arms with yours, pulling you close to his side. Without a care in the world, he walked along, ignoring the hub of everything. Of course, he wasn't deterred by any of this. He wasn't the one experiencing culture shock.

"I'm gonna have to walk the dog too…" you said rather absently. "It's getting old having him poop on a pee pad and then chucking it out an air lock."

"We'll do it when we get done with our shopping," he said.

"Wait!" Your eyes grew huge when a realization hit you. "Oh my God, I don't have money, I can't pay for anything!"

"Chill out, I got this!" He cackled softly at your reaction. "Out here, we have monies. That's the currency we use. And don't worry, I'm loaded. Because I'm a Tallest, I'm rich and I've got plenty of reserves."

"You make me feel like a gold digger now…"

"But you're a park ranger, not a miner."

"…never mind, Purple."

He snuck a kiss to your cheek. He grinned at you and held you even closer if that was even possible.

"Don't worry about a thing, okay?" he said. "Have fun."

"I know," you said, giving a tiny and nervous smile. "I only have to get comfortable and used to everything."

"How many times do I gotta tell you? I got you! Be brave! I'm right with you."

One thing was for certain. There was simply no way you'd be able to do this journey on your own. You'd end up having a panic attack before you even left Earth's solar system. Having him with you helped you immensely and you felt lucky more than anything else.

It was fine. You were going to pick up some space chips and leave. There was nothing to freak out over.

(…)

In a weird way, it was almost anti-climatic. It reminded you too much of the convenience stores back home. But you were still in wonder of all the strange products and knickknacks that lined the aisles of the store you ventured into. There were air fresheners that had smells you didn't even dream of that existed; one being nebula emissions. There were also little dancing figurines with grass skirts that were all too reminiscent of the Hawaiian girl dashboard ornaments back on Earth. Included in this menagerie of bizarre nostalgia and familiarity, were bumper stickers, hand sanitizers, lint rollers, toilet paper, coolers and other random objects.

Amidst all these items, there was also plenty of edible things. There were chocolate bars, chips, soda and other junky foods. They were almost messily stocked, seeming as if they were overflowing on the shelves and were full to bursting. There were slushie machines that hummed loudly. Next to those frozen drink devices, there were stations that slowly cooked what looked like soft pretzels and hot dogs as well. Surprisingly, they actually smelled pretty good.

What was also included in this particular store was a lottery machine that sat in a rather dank and shady corner. You could see several aliens waiting in line at the kiosk and each of these beings looked bedraggled and hopeless. The screen was covered in smears and it appeared dirty and overall questionable.

At the very far end of the shop, there was even a horrendously smelling bathroom that smelled as if a half decomposed skunk had crawled into one of the stalls and died. The stench punched your gag reflex something fierce even when you were a few aisles away from it. When you inched closer to investigate the source of the smell, you could've sworn you saw a tentacle poking out from underneath the door. As soon as you saw that, you quickly walked away.

It was almost like home sweet home. But somehow scarier. And in space.

You perused through the food aisles, trying to find something that stuck out to you. What worried you was what would happen if you ate any of these things. Maybe you'd grow some weird alien plant out of your stomach or you'd instantly die. In some weird, twisted way, it was like you were literally picking out your poison.

But you remembered Purple was able to eat a lot of things on Earth with no problems. The only things that reacted negatively to him were water, milk and meat. Vegetables were out of the question and he only tolerated fruits that were particularly high in sugars. If he could eat your Earth foods, there was a possibility you could get away with some of these items too.

You eyed up this one candy bar that seemed enticing enough. It looked like it was a chocolate bar with salted caramel. That seemed harmless enough and unlikely to eat a hole through your intestinal tract. You plucked it up and continued on with your shopping.

You could hear Purple in the opposite aisle which happened to contain the refrigerators that were filled to the brim with soda. You could hear the squeaky wheels of the cart he toted around. Noisily, he dumped some bottles of the sugary drink into his cart, adding to the obscene amount of junk he accumulated. It reminded you too much of your first shopping trip with him.

Your attention from him was diverted when you saw several shapes coming closer to you from out of the corner of your eye. You looked up, seeing a few different alien beings coming down the aisle. From what it seemed like, despite most of them being different species, they seemed like they were together. All of them wore some sort of device or object on the tops of their heads. In fact, as you looked closer, it looked like…a table? Maybe they were part of some cult or group? How the heck were you supposed to know?

Wordlessly, you scooted out of their way, seeing that they were eyeing up the candy section. You had no intention to get in their way. You had no desire to end up getting shot in some seedy convenience store light years away from home.

"Hey, you don't want that."

Your heart leapt in your chest. Anxiety instantly bubbled up and you froze in your spot.

One of the table-headed aliens was looking back at you. It was a very short Irken and from the look of it, he had to have been even shorter than Zim. His facial features somehow seemed squashed but his smile was bright and friendly.

"You understand me?" you asked. "You're talking to me?"

"Yeah, who else?" he replied. "That candy bar you have in your hand? You don't want that."

"Why?"

"Because its main ingredient is dooky."

"Dooky..?"

"Dung, poop…"

"Oh, shit!"

Your eyes widened and you chucked the candy bar back into its original place. You stood aghast, in disbelief that you almost bought this thing. You could've sworn it looked like chocolate on the wrapper. And you'd probably only figure out the truth after opening it up or taking a bite.

"Thanks for the heads up," you said, laughing nervously. "I'm new around here so I'm…trying to get a hang of things."

"Don't sweat it," the tiny Irken said, shrugging. "Here." He handed you a replacement candy bar. "This one has real chocolate, crispies and butter biscuits in it."

That actually sounded super delicious and judging from the picture, it looked even tastier. Graciously, you took the candy bar from his grasp and gave him a smile. That was awfully sweet of him, no pun intended.

"Thank you," you said, nodding your head.

"No problem," the table-headed drone replied, "I can see you're a newbie anyway. You're an Earthling."

"You know what I am?"

"Oh, yeah, one of our Invaders is on your planet." He shrugged. "And I wasn't supposed to say that but oh well. But we know about Earth. Never thought I'd see a real Human in person. You're super tall!"

"Eh, I guess." You weren't going to leak too many details to this strange little fellow. You were mindful that there was an Irken schism going on. He couldn't know you were travelling with a disguised Tallest. "Yeah, I'm just going on a space road trip with my boyfriend. We stopped here to stock up on supplies."

"Where you off to?"

"Not really sure, actually. We're just gonna travel and see where the universe takes us. That's part of the fun, right?"

"Yeah, I hear ya! That's what me and my crew does too."

"What's going on?!"

You squealed when Purple's head suddenly appeared above you. You looked up, seeing that he had practically crawled over the top of the aisle and peered downwards at you. His eyes narrowed, glowering at the small Irken you were speaking to. He also bore his teeth, displaying them in an aggressive snarl.

"Just got some advice from one of the locals…" you said. "I almost bought a candy bar made of shit. And I mean that literally."

"I'm done, let's get out of here," Purple pretty much demanded. He still refused to look away from the fellow Irken. "Now, we're on a tight schedule."

Something wasn't right. You didn't like the nasty glower he was giving to the smaller creature. He was definitely on edge. But in your stomach, you could feel something was happening. It was probably in your best interest to high tail it out of there. You knew you had no choice other than to trust him and guide you. You were in his neck of the woods now.

"Okay," you said, playing along.

Purple didn't crawl backwards into the soda aisle where his cart was. Instead, he clambered down from the top and almost fell face forward. He caught himself at the last minute and landed on his feet. He looped one arm around yours and escorted you out of the candy aisle, leading you away from the Irken and his friends.

Glancing over your shoulder, you looked back at the diminutive, green alien. You waved back at him.

"Thanks again!" you said, trying to be polite.

Before you could get a reply from the Irken, you rounded the bend and were out of sight. But as he disappeared from your sight, you noticed the look in his ruby-red eyes. They were intense and scrutinizing.

(…)

"What was that all about?"

Purple didn't answer. Instead, he toted some of the groceries with one hand while his other arm was wrapped around your waist. His head was on a swivel and he looked paranoid almost. He would look from the left to the right, looking like he was on high alert.

It was worrying you more and more. He chose to not discuss anything and it wigged you out. He seemed driven and focused on one thing and one thing only. You hated being kept in the dark like this.

"You're acting like we're about to get mugged!" you whispered harshly under your breath.

"I know that little shrimp!" he muttered back to you.

"You knew that guy?"

"Yeah. I thought Red and I killed him off."

You weren't ready to hear that comment. There was a red flag flying and you didn't sit well with this. Something was very wrong.

"He seemed harmless and friendly enough." You fidgeted in his grasp and groaned in frustration. "Purple, cut the umbilical!"

"No, you don't understand," he growled. "If he figures out who I am, it's not gonna end well for us probably."

"How?! Why'd you try to kill him off?"

"Look, babe, we can't talk about this now. Please, zip it! We're being followed. Keep close to me and pipe down."

Oh, that shut you up in no time. You didn't think he'd lie about that. As far as you were concerned, he was the expert on everything outside of Earth. Your life was in his hands. If he said someone was following you and possibly going to jump you, you'd do whatever you could do avoid that from happening.

You weren't going to turn around and see if you really were being tailed. Then that would just acknowledge them. If you lured them into thinking that you were oblivious to whatever they had planned, you'd be able to surprise them in return.

The walk back to the parking lot felt like it was taking an eternity. Purple guided you along, his pace brisk but not too desperate. His eyes were compressed into slits and he seemed like he was deadly focused. Hopefully he was busy formulating some sort of plan in his head. You sure as heck couldn't cook one up right now since you were becoming increasingly nervous.

Luckily, you could see the shape of the disguised shuttle ahead. It was still donning the image of the garbage shuttle and you hoped it would deter any miscreants from approaching. Hopefully they'd see two Humans climbing into a greasy and frumpy looking vessel and decide it wouldn't be worth it. Maybe it'd discourage them and think you'd have nothing of value.

"I think we're okay," he whispered. "But let's not mess around, okay?"

"Right," you nodded your head, "what's the plan?"

"We're leaving and we're gonna jump to light speed. We've got enough supplies for a few weeks and I'll have to check the map and see what's the next planet we'll make a pit stop on."

"Sounds good."

As you got closer to the ship, the windshield retracted. The both of you hopped in and Purple handed off the rest of the groceries to you. Then he sunk into the pilot's seat.

"Don't freak out," he said. "Put that stuff away and I'll get us out of here. I'll be with you when I put it in autopilot, okay?"

"Yeah," you said, your answer almost too flat and fast. "Yeah, okay."

The windshield closed up and Purple busied himself with his current task. You huffed and tried to calm down. You left his side and hurried to the kitchenette to put away all that you collected.

Upon hearing your return, your pets exited the bedroom area. The dog and bunny stuck close to your feet, almost making you trip as you hustled to complete your task. While they were happy to see you come back, you didn't have the time or free appendages to pet them and reciprocate your greetings to them. You shuffled about, trying not to trip over them and send the food flying.

You could feel the ship make liftoff when you finally made it to the section. You placed some of the bags on the counter and the rest on the floor. You did the task rather automatically, trying not to think about what was probably going on. All you could do was trust in Purple. He knew how to deal with situations like these and you'd leave it to him for now. Your thoughts were nonexistent as you started to put all the groceries away.

"Give me a second, guys," you urged your pets as they nudged your legs and feet. "Chill out, hold on."

You busied yourself with your chore, forbidding any negative, invasive thoughts from pestering you. If anything, it'd only serve to steepen your paranoia. That was one of the last things you needed.

A few minutes passed and you were nearly knocked over onto your feet. The whole ship shook, throwing you off your balance but you managed to regain your composure at the last minute. This was either some intergalactic turbulence or Purple's subpar piloting skills.

Baby and Bambi's paws slid and skidded across the surface when the shaking happened and you quickly snatched up the rabbit. You disregarded the last remaining bag of spoils, leaving them to roll across the floor recklessly. They were only a few bags of chips and other food and they could stand a little bit of abuse better than bottles of soda. They were the least of your concerns at the moment.

"What's going on?" you called to your sweetheart. "Are we okay?"

Purple didn't respond. With every second went by, your nerves became increasingly frayed. This wasn't good. In the pit of your gut, you knew something was wrong.

"Purple!" you yelled. "Come on, answer me!"

The door to the cockpit swept open and Purple appeared in the doorway. He stood in it, staring back at you. His eyes were wide but he didn't look frightened. More than anything else, he looked reluctant and begrudging.

"You gotta say something!" you urged. "What the hell is happening?!"

Wordlessly, he jogged over to your spot. He ended up breezing past you and he walked directly over to the wall behind the kitchenette. He tapped the paneling three times and it opened up, revealing a hidden compartment. Your eyes grew huge when you saw him pull out some sort of laser rifle from the cavity.

"Purple!" you whined, clutching Baby to your chest.

"Babe, lock the beasts in the bedroom!" he instructing you as he looked over the rifle. "Grab your gun too!"

"An explanation would be appreciated!"

"We're caught in a tractor beam and we're going to get boarded." He cocked the weapon and it whirred loudly, signaling it was loaded and ready to fire. "We gotta be ready to fight to escape. It's them or us!"

You couldn't believe this was happening. Your color paled and you felt like you were about to faint. This couldn't have been happening. You visit one planet and now you're being attacked. This was a waking nightmare.

Hastily, you hustled to the bedroom. Baby began to stir nervously in your arms and Bambi began to bark loudly, their animal senses all too easily picking up on the tension and urgency. They were as wigged out as you were.

You knelt down and released your hold on your rabbit, letting her scamper off beneath the bed. She disappeared under it while Bambi began to growl. Whereas the bunny was keen on escaping, thanks to her nature as a prey creature, the dog wasn't as ready to flee.

You fetched your shotgun from its carrying case situated behind the bed. Despite your shaking hands, you managed to load two shells into the chamber. Then you donned the miniature ammo belt, draping it across your shoulder as you stuffed some spare shells into the slots. A shotgun wasn't the best weapon to bring to a fire fight but it was better than being totally unarmed. And it would at least help protect you if you were in close quarters with an enemy.

"Who are we fighting?" you asked, terror leaking into your tone. "What're we up against?!"

"Those table-headed weirdoes at the shop," the Tallest said, "y'know, the ones in the same aisle you were in? They were space pirates. They captured us and we're gonna have to kill them all."

Chapter Text

Chapter 25 In Good Company

Did he just say pirates? There were seriously space pirates? Not even two weeks into your intergalactic trek and you were going to get into a gun fight with spatial raiders? Fantastic. Great. This was going along so smoothly. You were probably going to die.

You had no idea how to process this. Perhaps it was silly of you to not foresee something like this. I mean, they already had convenience stores in space. The idea of space pirates wasn’t so farfetched. Now you only wished you thought of this scenario far sooner. Maybe Purple should’ve thought of that too.

Now you were in this mess and were going to get robbed and probably killed by table-headed pirates.

“Space pirates,” you repeated. “Uh, what’s your protocol for taking care of something like this?”

“The Armada never really had a problem with pirates,” Purple explained. “The Armada is made up of countless ships. To attack one of them is to attack all of them, that’s why pirates never really bothered us. They usually only go after stray ships because they have a greater chance of getting away with it.”

“And of course, we fit the bill perfectly.”

You were scared. It made you miss home all the more now. At least you knew how to deal with the threats you faced with on Earth. This was different and you were still out of your comfort zone. These were creatures you never dealt with before and you were willing to bet that their technology was far more advanced and potent than any machine, weapon or other marvel you had back on your homeworld.

“Let them come to us,” he said. “We can hide and use it to our advantage. They’re boarding our vessel after all.” He pumped the rifle and you could hear it hum in a high pitched manner for a second before it died down, going silent. “I need you to do something.”

“What?” you asked, your eyes wide.

“Hide in here. Stay with the beasts. Don’t come out until I tell you to.”

“What, you’re gonna fight them on your own?” You scoffed and shook your head. “No! You need backup or you’ll get yourself killed!”

“Listen to me!”

“Purple, you need help! I’m not that helpless! You got another gun hidden somewhere I can use?!”

“Hide in here and protect yourself if they get past me.” His eyes narrowed and he frowned heavily. He was deadly serious. “Please, do as I say!”

You entered several confrontations over the years. You apprehended poachers and trappers a few times over the course of your career and turned them in to the local police force. Never did you actually pull your gun out on someone. Usually when those offenders got caught by you, they surrendered, choosing not to resist and risk getting another charge slapped onto them.

Yet this was wholly different. There were multiple enemies coming after you at once and they probably had some laser guns and some other nasty weapons that could potentially annihilate you effortlessly. Now you had to take up your weapon and defend yourself. You were prepared to do it but the reality of actually being thrown into this situation was…jarring. Being prepared to protect yourself and potentially take a life in the process was one thing. It was easy and you were so sure of yourself. But actually being forced into the pivotal action was something wholly different.

Yet you knew Purple was right. It was do or die. Besides, you weren’t going to argue with someone who was an actual soldier.

“Okay,” you nodded, finally conceding to his demands. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

Bambi growled loudly, baring his jaws and his hair sticking up on his haunches. His ears were pulled back and his tail was as stiff as a metal rod. He was not willing to back down and he was ready to fight. The mutt was fully poised to protect his master and his master’s companion that he had come to grow attached to.

“I can’t stay in here with them,” you suddenly realized. “If I stay in here and if I shoot, the last thing I need is them becoming collateral.”

Purple grimaced and grasped onto one of your arms. Swiftly, he pulled you out of the room and the door closed behind you as soon as you were out of the doorway. There was a firm click that sounded, indicating that it was locked, keeping the rabbit and canine in there and out of the coming fight. It gave you some peace but you knew it was probably ever so temporary and fleeting.

“Hide in the storage closet,” he said, practically dragging you to the small, enclosed space. “Shoot anyone who comes through the door. If I try to get into there, I’m gonna call out to you, okay?”

Before you could even reply, the door to the closet parted. He shoved you in and it quickly closed before you could even whip around to answer him. As soon as you collided with the door, you heard the click, signaling that he locked it.

“Goddammit!” you sneered, kicking it in anger.

Initially, you were compliant with his request. But whenever he locked you in, it just made you more concerned and paranoid. He seemed as if he wished for you to participate in the beginning but now it seemed like he changed his mind. Honestly, you were somewhat offended by this change. Maybe he could see how anxious you were and didn’t want to risk you getting yourself and possibly himself killed during this kerfuffle.

You weren’t that much of a liability… were you?

You gasped sharply when the whole ship shook again. Perhaps the tractor beam he mentioned had been disengaged and the vessel was settling in the grasp of the pirates.

You knelt down and readied your gun. You raised it and rested the butt of the gun against your shoulder. With a finger, you flicked the safety off and you took aim at the door. If any brigand was going to break in, you were gonna blast them to kingdom come.

You could hear Bambi barking away and throwing his bulk against the bedroom door. He sounded furious. It really seemed like meeting extraterrestrials brought out the worst in your typically mild mannered and gentle pooch. He most certainly was not fond of creatures from outside of Earth. Maybe you should’ve kenneled him. Or had Ted or your coworkers look after him until you returned.

Desperately, you tried to tune out Bambi’s racket, trying to listen in on any of the intruders or Purple himself. You steadied your breathing and reaffirmed your grip on your weapon. If someone did try to break in to get at you, you were certain they wouldn’t be able to survive it. Not many things could survive a twelve gauge shotgun at pointblank range and you were damn sure aliens weren’t immune to it either. You’d love to see them try to survive with a crater in their abdomen.

You blinked and felt a cold sweat form on the back of your neck when you heard voices. You remained quiet and patient, ready to unleash Hell and lead.

Each second felt like a minute and each minute, an hour. You could hear the voices but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. Being shoved into this closet and having the door as your barrier made it indistinct. Then again, you shouldn’t have been able to understand anything to begin with. You were still perplexed how that tiny Irken was able to have a legitimate conversation with you.

Your breathing hitched when you heard footfalls coming closer. You wondered where the heck Purple was. Maybe he was going to lure them in somewhere and ambush them. Your heart raced faster and faster.

You almost pulled the trigger when you suddenly heard the sound of these laser rifles going off. You could hear yelling and an outburst of activity. It sounded like a war just broke out and you could feel the shuttle rattle subtly as the combatants shifted about.

It killed you to listen to it all. You firmly believed you needed to be in the midst of it. You shouldn’t have been shoved into a closet and out of sight. You couldn’t let Purple fight them all on his own, even if he was trained specifically for things of this nature. Things could still go wrong and he could suffer from a lapse of judgement. He was just as vulnerable as anyone else. You wanted him to trust and rely on you.

“Oh, God,” you murmured, trying to remain levelheaded. “God, please let this end well, please..!”

You choked back a yelp when you heard something crash into the wall close to your hiding spot. Your head turned to that direction, suspecting maybe someone was tossed or fell against the wall, causing that racket. The sound of shooting still rang out.

Another tremble rattled the shuttle, this one being as violent as when the tractor beam disengaged. The sound of gunfire died down suddenly but the shaking persisted. You could hear things being tossed around and broken. It almost sounded like people were wrestling with each other.

Your blood ran cold when you heard Purple crying out, sounding like he was frustrated or in pain. Panic started to seize you and you were compelled to break out and help him. There was no way that you could let this happen on your watch. You refused to let him end up dying at their hands.

Your eyes had since adjusted to the dimly let space. Frantically, you looked around, seeing if you could somehow override the door and break out. Maybe there was some sort of panel or mechanism you could tamper with. All you knew was that you needed to get out. Inaction was not an option.

For a moment, you were tempted to shoot the door, thinking it might explode outward and allow you an escape. It would be crude and it would take less time instead of trying to pick your way out of it from within. But you halted yourself, knowing that the results could be disastrous if this metal door could withstand the blast. It could potentially ricochet back at you and you’d be dead. And it certainly wouldn’t help your boyfriend if you ended up inadvertently killing yourself.

Then an idea occurred to you.

“Hey!!!” you cried out. You slammed the wooden butt of the shotgun against the door, creating as much racket as possible. “Come get me, scum! I’m here!”

If you could divert their attention from Purple, it might give him a chance. You had no idea what was going on out there but maybe distracting them for a brief moment might tip the battle in his favor. It was worth a shot. Plus, if they let you out, you’d be sure to extract payback from them for this bullshit.

It seemed to work because then the sound and shaking stopped. A smile spread across your face, thinking that maybe things would turn out to your advantage. You readied and braced yourself, ready to shoot or whack someone across the face with the barrel of your weapon. Whatever got you the heck closer to Purple, the better.

“We’ve got your Tallest!”

That seemed to ring out too loudly and clearly. You understood that perfectly. Despite that, you refused to acknowledge it. That had to have been a lie. But the person who said that was totally unfamiliar.

“Get me out of here!” you resumed, choosing not to be deterred. Maybe they were trying to distract and confuse them as much as you tried to do to them. “Let me out!!!”

“We’ve got your Tallest,” the voice said again, this time sounding as if they were right outside the door.

“Where is he?!”

“You’re a rather dumb Human, do I have to say it a third time?”

“Don’t you dare talk down to me like that! I want to hear him! Prove to me that you have him and that he’s okay!”

You lifted your firearm up, ready to pull the trigger for sure this time. Your eyes were focused on the door, not knowing what you’d see on the other end of it when it’d open. But at this point, it didn’t really matter because you were going to tear through them one way or another.

“Babe!”

Your heart skipped a few beats when you heard him. Sweat formed on your palms and it felt like it was harder to hold the shotgun. It definitely was him.

“Babe, they got me in restraints!” he said. “Come out peacefully! I’m okay.”

How did this happen? Better yet, why did this happen? You swore to yourself, thinking that perhaps it could’ve gone differently if he didn’t decide to exclude you from this altercation. Now he got captured and the two of you were at the mercy of these space pirates.

“Talk to me, Purple, what’s going on?!” you demanded.

“He just explained it to you,” the same, patronizing voice sighed. As you listened closer, you thought it belonged to a female. “You two really are made for each other.”

“Keep running your mouth, I’ll cave your freaking skull in with the butt of my gun, smart alec!”

You heard Purple say your name. He sounded earnest and all too serious. When you noticed his tone, some of your aggression instantly melted away. It almost sounded like he was pleading with you.

“Look, I’m alive!” he encouraged. “Come out, okay? You… And me, we’re outnumbered.”

This really was happening. You lost.

You were so stunned and shaken that you couldn’t speak. All you could do was lower your weapon and stare at the floor in disbelief. This couldn’t have been happening. You thought you were at an advantage. How could he lose to a bunch of pirates?

Oh, you were in such deep shit.

The feminine voice repeated your name, snapping you out of your stupor and tumultuous inner thoughts.

“Come out and come quietly,” she said. “Come out with your hands up while you’re at it. Captain Bob wants to talk to you.”

You didn’t really have a choice. You were outnumbered and outgunned and you were at a steep disadvantage with being cooped up in this dark, tiny space. There wasn’t much room to bargain or negotiate. And you definitely were far from home. This wasn’t your turf anymore.

Begrudgingly, you flicked the safety on. Then you leaned it against the wall, setting your gun aside. The firefight was done and you saw it wasn’t wisest to try to restart it especially if the Irken leader was captured.

The sound of the locking mechanism deactivating seemed louder than before. Then the door swept open and you beheld the creature that was speaking to you from the other side.

It was so strange because it looked a lot like the birds you saw back home on Earth. In fact, it reminded you much of a raptor or eagle of some sort. But the primary difference between this alien and a bird was that this being had a humanoid shape. It stood on its taloned feet and it stood at about the same height as a twelve year old child. The feathers were primarily colored white, black, gray and had hints of blue in them. The irises were colored gold and the alien’s beak was hooked. Even though the bird-alien had a beak, it almost looked like it was frowning.

You showed the avian humanoid your hands, displaying your compliance. You weren’t going to push things any further. Luck was not on your side and victory was not yours today.

The young Yuti pirate stood aside and gestured to the front of the ship where the fighting took place. She never looked away from you and continued to leer at you. Her gaze seemed to harden and she looked rather peeved and displeased.

“See him for yourself,” she finally said.

You ignored the scrutinizing and cold stare she gave you and you brushed past her. You hurried down the hallway and at the end of it, you saw Purple.

The Human disguise he was wearing vanished. The Tallest was on his knees and his arms were restrained behind his back. His hands were bound with some sort of handcuff or manacle that kept him restrained. He was covered in scrapes and scratches, some of them bloody. Some were on the back of his head, others along his arms. Even some of his robes were torn in a few areas, exposing more scratches or bare flesh. His head was tilted towards the ground and his eyes were closed. Even from afar, he radiated shame and disappointment.

“Purple,” you whispered, feeling the urge to comfort and console him.

You jogged down the hallway, hustling over to his side. All around you, there were scorch marks from the laser fire and there were holes shot through some of the furniture and other fixtures. The interior was trashed and you ignored the surrounding figures of the other pirates as you approached the defeated Tallest.

“Purple!” you said firmly. You knelt down beside him and gently cupped his face in your hands. You could see a cut above his right eye but from the look of it, it most likely wouldn’t scar. “Are you okay, what’s going on?”

He refused to look at you. His eyes remained closed and he was silent. Purple even turned his head away, not wanting you to even touch him.

“He’s a sore loser.”

You grimaced when you heard this voice. At first, you didn’t recognize it but as it sunk in, you remembered. When you looked over your shoulder to face the direction where it came from, you tensed.

It was the Irken from the convenience store. When you first met him, you thought he was a decent fellow for not letting you buy a candy bar made from feces. But now he did a complete one eighty and captured you and Purple.

“You little jerk!” you snapped. “I ought to punt you half way across the solar system! What gives?!”

“Don’t speak to the Captain like that!” one of the table-headed pirates demanded.

“You hijacked our ship and you beat him up! I can say whatever the Hell I want right now!” You stood up, glowering at the tiny leader. “So much for thinking I’d actually meet a friendly stranger. I should’ve known…”

“Hey, Earthling, I didn’t target you,” the smallest but most important member of the crew retorted. “I would’ve let you go if it wasn’t for him. I got suspicious when I heard that obnoxious voice. You were never my target, he was.”

You remembered what Purple told you right before you left Conveniencia. He knew that little Irken and he and Red tried to kill him off for something. Apparently, he survived and was probably out for revenge for his Tallest trying to terminate him. While Purple’s disguise was convincing enough, he was sharp enough recognize his voice and operated on that hunch.

“You remember me, don’t you, my Tallest?” the former member of the Empire teased. He walked over to the slumped and dejected form of the emperor. He stood before Purple, a very smug and proud smirk on his face. “You remember me? I was once your table-headed service drone, Bob. It’s me. It’s Bobby.”

Purple’s eyes finally opened up as Bob taunted him. He hissed loudly and lunged forward the best that he could in his restricting position, his mouth agape and poised to take a hunk out of the tiny Irken.

Bob yelped and leapt backwards, avoiding the bite. He trembled and looked thoroughly spooked, his wide, ruby red eyes staring back at Purple in shock.

“Minwa!” Bob yelled. “Light him up!”

The form of the bird alien appeared out of the corner of your eye. Minwa smiled hugely and held what looked like some sort of remote control in her feathery fingers. She pressed one of the buttons on it.

As soon as she did that, a loud screech came from Purple. He flopped over onto his side, his legs kicking about frantically.

The image of him flailing about and the sound of his pain-filled scream filled you with fear and dread. Your thought you felt your heart stop for a few seconds. You spun around, facing Minwa. She kept her finger on the button, looking all too happy to cause him this agony.

Rage possessed you and you immediately broke out into a sprint, fully intending to beat the shit out of this sadistic little imp. The look of sick joy in Minwa’s eyes melted away as she realized what was happening. Her eyes widened and there was no time to react.

The interior was small and it took you no time to reach the feathered fiend. Not even her comrades could restrain you in enough time. That was how fast it happened.

Ferociously, you kicked her all the way down to the end of the corridor. She dropped the remote at the impact and was roughly tossed through the air by your angry blow. The dull thump of her crashing against the opposite end of the hall rang out and you grinned in satisfaction, hoping you put the hurt on her.

But your victory was short lived as you found yourself tackled and knocked to the floor. You cursed and struggled as the pirates held you down, pinning you and preventing you from fighting back much at all. Your legs bucked about wildly, hoping you’d kick one of them in the face as you tried to free yourself.

“Get off of me!” you bellowed.

You bristled when you felt cold, metal manacles slapped around your wrists. When that happened, you knew it was over. You could only do so much with your legs and with your hands out of commission, it made it that much harder.

You saw Bob race past you, making his way down the hall where Minwa lay in a heap on the floor. The pirate leader knelt down, helping her up despite her being taller than he was. Minwa looked dazed and shaken from your attack and her feathers were ruffled. But she was alive and it seemed like she wasn’t as damaged as you preferred.

“Captain, the Earthling and the Tallest are clearly in cahoots,” one of the crew members said. “Let’s throw them both into space and be done with it! It’ll be one less Tallest to worry about!”

“No!” Bob commanded. “We have to be careful with this. I want them both alive.”

Minwa glowered back at you as she finally was able to stand up on her own again. You returned the hostile stare, knowing for sure that you two weren’t going to get along. But what surprised you was when her eyes suddenly softened up. You blinked, confused. She gave you the slightest of nods, further perplexing you.

You were hoisted up off the floor, the cuffs still restraining your hands. The pirates crowded around you, reminding you to not try anything. You sure as heck couldn’t race back to the closet and grab your gun. That was past the point of no return. You knew that the fight was truly done now. Both you and Purple were captured and at the mercy of these brigands.

You turned, facing Purple. He was breathing heavily and curled up on the floor. The manacles that bound his hands seemed to give off a soft glow and you could hear a soft fizzling noise, almost sounding like electricity. Maybe that was how Minwa was able to hurt him. Maybe the manacles were capable of releasing an electrical shock to anyone wearing them. And if he were to misbehave again, there’s a chance they’d shock him once more.

“Are you okay, Purple?” you asked.

“I-I’m fine…” he murmured. His tone was strained and clearly he sounded like he was in pain. “Let me lay here for a few minutes and I’ll be good…”

“This calls for a celebration!” Bob decreed. “Today, we caught a Tallest! That’s the best booty we ever got!” You heard one of the pirates snicker at that and you saw Bob roll his eyes. “You know what I mean! Everyone gets a triple ration of snacks and space rum today!”

“What do we do with the prisoners?” one of the crew members asked.

“Throw the Tallest into the brig. We’ll figure out what to do with him later. Those manacles were specifically meant to restrain and contain Irken. They disable a lot of their PAKs features and without that and his hands, he won’t be able to get out.” Bob then looked at you. “Let the Earthling join us. I want to figure out how she ended up with him.”

(…)

“What will we do with a drunken sailor, what we will do with a drunken sailor, what will we do with a drunken sailor early in the morning? Way hay up she rises, way hay up she rises, way hay up she rises…!”

You had to dodge and twist your torso out of the way as the pirates wrestled and threw each other onto the large dining table in front of you. They flailed and horsed around, laughing loudly and stuffing their faces with food and drink. The music that played was loud and you were definitely positive it was an Earth tune. But then again, it didn’t necessarily surprise you that they were apparently aware of music from your planet. They already spoke your language.

You were given food and drink as well but you turned it down. All you could think about was Purple. They shoved him into a dark, cold cell in the bowels of their ship and locked him up. He could most likely take care of himself but you were still filled with concern for him. He was in a lot of pain from that electrical shock and you voiced your disapproval with their treatment of him. Most of the pirates looked at you like you grew a second head out of your neck and the others just laughed at you. Clearly, none of them were fond of him. They didn’t share your concerns in the slightest bit.

Quietly, you tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together. From what he told you, there was a civil war going on. There was a preexisting faction, the Resisty, who comprised of people whose planets had been conquered by the Irken Empire. They united with the goal to take back their homes and overthrow their oppressors. But there was obviously more than that. There were many defective and rebellious Irken who abandoned the Empire and joined the Resisty. They were sick of being stepped on, tired of being restrained or for some other, personal reason.

Deep inside, you were sympathetic. Imperialism was a bitch and it hurt a lot of different folks. The Irken Empire was very much expansionist and aimed to control the universe. Purple even outright admitted that to you. It was a militarized society and clearly valued brutality, force and weeded out anyone who was deemed defective or detrimental enough to its progression. It was merciless and cruel even to the denizens it considered functional and worthy enough.

As you thought about it, every single one of them were victims. Even their Almighty Tallest were not immune.

And now, you were the prisoner of one of these traitorous Irken. All you knew was that you had to get out of this ship alive and with Purple. You sure as Hell weren’t going to leave without him. That was out of the question. You were going to do whatever it took to get you to walk free. The odds were not in your favor.

“You didn’t eat anything,” Bob stated.

“I’m not really in the mood to eat anything now,” you exhaled. “I lost my appetite when you guys attacked me.”

“Think of it like this, you’re not really a prisoner, you’re a guest.”

“Then why do I still have cuffs on my hands?”

“Because you attacked Minwa. She’s my second in command and I’m her guardian.”

“Because she was shocking Purple and she enjoyed it. I don’t care who she is, I’m not going to let anyone hurt him.”

Your tone was stiff and unamused. You frowned, letting Bob know that you haven’t forgotten about that ordeal.

“Why do you care so much about him?” Bob griped. “He’s one of the biggest jerks in the universe! You seem like a nice Human… Why’d you get so close to him?”

“I know he’s a jerk,” you huffed. “I’m trying to work on that. But he does care and he can be sweet.”

“Yeah, good luck with that. He’s a lost cause.” Bob frowned heavily as a very particular memory came back to him. “He tried to kill me because I won a bet. He owed me six million monies. I won it fair and square. But instead of paying up, he tried to off me! But I survived and I abandoned the Empire. I turned my back on it and became a pirate. I don’t regret it at all! I’m freer than I’ve ever been!”

Temporarily, your mind blanked out when you heard him tell you that. You stared back at him, your eyes huge and lower jaw dropping more and more. For a moment, you couldn’t believe it. Did Purple really try to kill off someone just so he wouldn’t have to pay a debt..? Did he really resort to something like that?

You wanted to disbelieve it. You wanted to give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. But deep inside, you knew Bob was telling the truth. You knew that Purple really did it. At his worst, he could be spoiled, selfish, cruel, greedy and snide. You had seen some of that ugly side surface especially during your first few days with him in your home.

“I’m sorry,” you said, unsure if it was even the right thing to say at this point. It wasn’t going to fix anything. “I can understand why you hate him.”

“So, what’re you doing out here with him?” Bob wondered. “I wanna hear about you.”

“A kid found out I was sheltering Purple in my house. He threatened to ruin my life and expose me to everyone.” You hesitated, not realizing until then how cowardly you sounded. “I ran off with Purple. He decided he couldn’t stay on Earth anymore and he took me with him.”

“So he ran and hid for two years and then he shows up on Conveniencia. I’m lucky I caught him.”

“That’s the gist of it.”

“And it seems that Tallest Purple is as defective as I am. It’s obvious that he’s attached to you. He fell in love with a Human. I don’t think the Control Brains will be happy to hear about that if he ever returns to the Armada.”

“I know.”

“They won’t accept you if you show up there with him. They’ll kill you. Tallest Red won’t think twice about shoving you out of the airlock. He’s as much of a jerk as Purple was. Both of them deserve the worst of the worst if you ask me!”

It hurt because it was the truth. You were aware that Purple and Red hurt a lot of people. They hurt their own subjects and frankly, you had to agree with Bob. They did deserve to have this rebellion erupt under their reign. They deserved to be overthrown. They possibly deserved to die as well.

But your mind drifted back to something Purple often mentioned. There were the Control Brains.

“What can you tell me about the Control Brains?” you said.

“They make the rules and all Irken have to follow them,” Bob answered. “They evaluate and encode every single Irken. They also create every smeet too. That’s all I know really.”

It was worth a shot. But you’d investigate more about these ominous entities sooner or later. What mattered was the present.

“Let’s talk about something else,” you said. “Mainly, let’s talk about you letting us go.”

Bob only laughed. He snickered away, kicking his feet and sounding like a little mischievous gremlin.

“He’s not going anywhere,” he said. “He’s my prisoner!”

“Surely we can negotiate something,” you offered. “Come on.”

“Look, thanks but no thanks. Tallest Purple isn’t leaving my ship. I’m thinking about offering him up to Resisty forces, for the right price of course. They have a bounty on his head and he’s their number one target. They’ll pay a pretty penny for him. Last time I heard, they want to execute him.”

“I’ll give you double anything they could offer you.”

“Really? You don’t look rich.”

“You want those six million monies Purple and Red owe you? I’ll make sure you get paid.” You leaned in closer to him. “You get your six million monies and whatever fee you want to let the both of us go free. I don’t care how much Purple cries and whines, I will make sure you are repaid. I promise you that I will make him listen to me.”

Bob was silent and his eyes seemed to light up at the prospect of getting his overdue check handed to him at long last. A tiny smile began to form on his face as he quietly mulled over the possibility.

Inwardly, you smiled, knowing he was steadily falling into your hands. All you had to do was tread cautiously. And most important of all, you couldn’t afford to fuck this up.

(...)

“Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…! Oh, I’m so stupid…”

Purple quietly struggled, trying to somehow remove the manacles from around his wrists. His arms were still bound behind his back and they ached something terrible. He tried backing up against one of the walls and rubbed the cuffs on them, hoping he could somehow wear them down or trip a mechanism that would release him. His jaws were clenched and his teeth were displayed as he tried to focus, his desperation gaining an even stronger foothold.

He already tried to activate one of the tools in his PAK that he could use to free himself. The manacles overrode most of the technology’s features and he was automatically given a warning shock for trying it. Bob wasn’t lying when he said these were designed specifically to restrain and contain Irken prisoners. It rendered their captive almost totally helpless.

He wasn’t sure what was going through his head exactly when the pirates were preparing to board his shuttle. All he knew was that in the end, you had to stay out of it. He was the trained fighter and combatant and while he didn’t doubt your willingness to hold your ground and face the threat, it was a risk he didn’t want to take. He refused to allow you to end up being slain in the middle of the chaos. But luckily, these pirates were in the mood to only capture and not kill on this day.

It was all a blur. He thought he would effectively deal with the threat and be done with it. He didn’t expect to be overwhelmed from the start. And he especially wasn’t expecting to have that small Yuti pirate to divebomb him and knock him to the floor. It all happened so fast and she quickly had his arms behind his back and latched the cuffs onto him.

Purple was beyond ashamed. His previous occupation was a soldier, an elite sniper. And yet he was beaten by these filthy pirates. He fully intended to wipe them all out but he didn’t kill a single one. He was way off his game. It looked like he softened up considerably during his years as a Tallest and it was blaringly obvious. He was useless and weak. He was a disgrace.

Again, he tried slamming his back into the wall, hoping to shatter the bonds through sheer will and tenacity. His thrusts became more violent and angry. With each clank of the manacles against the wall, it made him more and more furious. An irritated snarl came from him and he threw himself backwards even harder.

But they did not buckle or break. The cuffs held strong and stubbornly restricted him.

He had to get out. He had to prove himself worthy. He had to find his female and wipe the enemy out. If he didn’t then he was a failure.

A howl of frustration erupted from him as he propelled himself backwards forcefully one last time. The familiar “clang” rang out, signaling that it still held up. He couldn’t beat this crew of rogues and he couldn’t shatter these bindings.

Purple slowly slumped to the floor below. His chest heaved up and down and he felt like he was going to have a panic attack. His mind started to feel clouded and he felt the urge to lash out at everything around him. All he wanted was to vent his fury and frustration and attack something or someone. But it was pointless.

Becoming Tallest made him soft and weak. He had become dusty and lacking. If he was still a soldier, things might’ve been far different. Too many snacks and pampering had to be the cause of this.

“I’m a failure,” he whispered, his voice cracking.

How was he supposed to impress and protect his intended if he was overpowered and bound? How could you respect and feel assured by his embarrassing shortcomings? Sure, he was able to easily beat a full grown and moderately muscled Human male in an arm wrestling match but he couldn’t take care of a group of filthy pirates. The situation demanded him to be victorious. But it was the total opposite.

Now he was forced to face his failure. He lost and he was now a prisoner. And worst of all, he was Bob’s prisoner. The Irken who was once his literal tabletop and servant now had him treated like the lowest of the low. It was humiliating and degrading and the Tallest felt like he could die of shame at this turn of events.

Purple’s antennae twitched when he heard a soft clicking noise drawing close to his cell. His head twisted to that direction, seeing a figure approaching his cell. The Irken leader tensed and stared out into the darkened brig, trying to see who was closing in. He growled and his antennae lay flat against the back of his head.

“Who’s there?!” he demanded, trying to appear as aggressive and daunting as possible.

His large, purple eyes narrowed as he spotted a feathered shape stop at the bars that enclosed him into the space. The Tallest growled louder when he recognized the smaller being.

“Hit the road, pipsqueak!” he commanded.

“I don’t take orders from you, you ugly, overgrown roach,” Minwa scoffed.

“Leave me alone! I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone right now.”

“Bob was right, you are a sore loser.”

“What do you want? What can I do to get you out of here faster?”

Her golden eyes locked onto his. She stared straight at him, her gaze piercing and intense. They were filled with hatred and fury.

“I’ve been waiting for this day for over a few years now,” she said icily.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” Purple huffed indignantly. “You’re one of those bird brained people. I sure as heck don’t know you.”

“You killed my mother.”

“I’m pretty sure I would’ve remembered if I killed one of your kind. Maybe.”

“You marked my homeworld for conquest. You sent one of your Invaders to do the job. Does the name Lyn ring a bell to you?”

Purple fell silent at the mention of the insane Invader. He blinked and didn’t tear his gaze from Minwa. What was this creature getting to?

“What of her?” he pressed.

“She made an alliance with the former War-queen’s rival, Naver, and poisoned many Yutis’ minds,” the avian pirate explained. “She urged her new followers to rise against Kalix’s supporters and seek an alliance with the Irken Empire. She promised to make Yutus greater than it ever was before. She challenged the War-queen to a fight to the death and she accepted. Lyn killed her. Then she took her feathers as a trophy and turned her into a gaudy and horrible headdress!” Minwa was visibly shaking. “War-queen Kalix was my mother! Lyn killed my mother and left me as an orphan!”

“And tell me why should I care? I never even had parents.”

Minwa’s eyes widened momentarily at his cold and callous words. Then her feathers puffed up angrily and her eyes gleamed dangerously. He could hear the sound of her talons scraping on the floor.

“You Irken are the universe’s plague,” she said. “You devour and destroy everything. You have no honor, no sense of decency!”

“Because you’re jealous,” Purple smirked. “You’re inferior savages. You’re mad because you can’t beat the Irken Empire and you couldn’t no matter how hard you tried.”

“The Resisty will take care of that. The Resisty and the countless other Irken you have abused and wronged will see to it that you pay. I’ll let them do it. I like it where I am.”

“So you’re really not with the Resisty…”

“I could never join them. With Lyn being leader of the Resisty Irken forces, I refuse to be on the same side as her. And of course I would never join your side and be forced to work under you. So I became a pirate. Our loyalties are to ourselves and no one else. Bob is my only boss.”

“He’s a shrimpy loser!”

“And he’s the best Irken I’ve ever met so shut your big mouth. He took me in and took pity on me. I owe a lot to him. I hate your kind but I don’t hate him. I can make exceptions. And I know there are other, good Irken out there but it’s only a shame the vast majority of them are just like you…”

“Aren’t you the coward for not choosing a side!”

“No, I’m just smart. You want Lyn dead and Lyn wants you dead. I’d rather just watch you kill each other. And hopefully in the long run, you and her won’t exist anymore.”

“The Empire won’t be beaten.” Purple chuckled. “The Resisty has no chance. And once we take care of them and destroy them all, the Armada will seek to erase all pirates as well. We will be unbeaten and unchallenged.”

“That’s the kind of mindset that makes everyone stand up against you. You’re hopeless and stupid.” She hummed quietly and tapped one of her feathered fingers on the tip of her bill. “And I guess the rumors aren’t true…”

“What rumors?” Purple could all too easily sense the teasing in her tone.

“They said you were an elite solider before you became a Tallest. You were one of the best of the best. And Tallest Red was an ace pilot who could get out of any situation. After what I saw today, I’m very disappointed. Your Earthling friend was a better fighter than you were and she was braver than you too.”

Purple was livid. He seethed as he sat on the floor, wishing he could painfully pluck every single one of her feathers off of her body. He couldn’t let this upstart Yuti child taunt and degrade him. This was an outrage. If he was unbound, he’d shred Minwa into pieces and prove to her that she was wrong. He wouldn’t let her get away with that slander and shame.

“I don’t understand why she’s so attached to you,” she continued. “But she isn’t afraid to fight back and defend someone she cares for. I have to respect her. She’s more of a warrior than you could ever be.”

“You know what?!” Purple vented. “Maybe that’s a reason why I like her! She’s strong, pretty, smart, smells good and knows when to get tough when she has to! I’m not gonna lie or hide that! I’m no coward! Say what you want, you pint-sized freak!”

“I have no idea what Earthlings are like exactly but I hope she realizes how much of a monster you are. I hope she sees and knows what you really are. She deserves to know the truth.”

Then Minwa turned her back on the captive Tallest. As she walked away, her talons clicked. Her feathers flattened and she exhaled deeply, trying to calm herself and regain her composure. She didn't kill him although she very much wanted to do so. She would leave him in the hands of fate. As far as she was concerned, she was finished.

Chapter Text

Chapter 26 Punching Bag

(…)

"You'll really get me what he owes me?" Bob asked. He eyed you suspiciously, trying to figure out if you were actually telling the truth or had a really good poker face. "That almost sounds too good to be true."

You had to reel him in and not regret trusting you. You had to keep his attention. One hundred percent, you fully intended to go through with your promise. You weren't doing this just to get yourself out of this mess and on your merry way. Truly, you did want to get him what he owed. You wouldn't make this promise if you weren't assured you couldn't do it. As far as you were concerned, justice was deserved.

"I swear on it," you pledged. "One way or another, you will get your six million monies. Purple made me a part of his personal staff, so he trusts me. We bonded on Earth while he hid under my roof. He even plans on making it part of the Empire."

"And you're gonna let him do it?"

That was a complicated question that you didn't know how to answer quite well. Even you didn't know what to think or how to proceed. It was definitely going to be a tricky thing to navigate and negotiate when the time came. Perhaps you'd convince him to not necessarily take it over but to visit it instead. You were sure you'd be able to talk some sense into him.

One thing at a time. You couldn't let your brain get too cluttered.

"We're negotiating that whole mess," you said, deciding to skirt past it. "But that's beside the point, Bob. Your monies, Bob. We want to get you that, right?"

"Oh, yeah!" the small green alien chirped. "I'd love to get it!"

"If you let us go, it's yours. No strings attached. I wouldn't be making this promise if I wasn't sure I could get you what you're owed. Like you said, you won fair and square, right?"

"I did! They forced me to bet on it!"

"Then I'll get it back for you."

"How will you do it? You really think you can convince Purple to cough it up?"

"I don't think I can, Bob. I know I can."

"Is it some kind of cool Human trick you can do?"

"Persuasion is an art. I'm no artist but I gotta start practicing at some point. I know I can get him to pay up. Trust me, I don't think he'll miss it. He'll probably forget about it by the end of the day."

"How do I know you're not lying?"

He was good. And he was sharp too. You knew this was going to be slippery ground. You were no politician or ambassador but you'd do what you could. This would definitely be a first. But you figured that honesty and transparency would be the best tools you could wield.

"You…" you said, rubbing the back of your head. "You got me there. I'm a stranger, I get it. You've got no reason to trust me. But I like to believe I'm honest enough. I'm sympathetic towards you. Consider this as me paying you back for not letting me eat a candy bar made of poo. It's the least I can do for you. You helped me out selflessly there. I can return the favor and help you get you your six million monies. It's my moral compass, I guess. I try not to be a jerk. I try to be decent, polite and good natured enough. I'm willing to forgive you for capturing us too. I won't let Purple turn around and attack you either. I give you my word and honor."

He was quiet. Bob rested his chin in the palm of one of his gloved hands, processing what you had to say.

You remained silent as you sat next to him. On the outside, you were calm and tried to appear as suave and collected as possible. On the inside, you were beyond nervous and could only hope you'd traverse this properly. Intergalactic relations were one thing. But being the captive of space pirates was something else entirely. You had to be extra cautious and wily.

They treated you well enough because you weren't even their main target. You were a guest of sorts more than anything else. They had no quarrel with you and they let you sit at their table. They only wanted Purple and only him. You had to emerge the victor. If you didn't, then they'd sell him off to someone who'd definitely kill him. That was something you couldn't let happen.

"Before I can say yes or no," Bob finally said, "I need more assurance."

"How can I help?" you replied.

"You need to leave something behind so you can come back and get it. That way I know you will keep your word and we'll make our trade. You give me my monies and you get back what you leave behind."

Okay. You could work with this. This was what negotiating entailed. It was all about mutual trust and compromise.

"Fair enough," you nodded. "What did you have in mind?"

"That loud beast you have locked aboard your ship," Bob said, smiling. "He looks fluffy and cute!"

You froze when he said those words. There was no way you could let that happen. What the Hell did aliens know about taking care of dogs? Not only that, Bambi wasn't very fond of aliens. You knew that as soon as you'd try to leave him with the pirates, he'd probably end up killing some of them and they'd have to put him down in return. It would be a catastrophe.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that," you refused. "It would be disadvantageous to both of us."

"How so?" Bob demanded. His eyes dimmed slightly and he was legitimately disappointed with your answer.

"You said you were Minwa's guardian. You look after her? I do the same thing with Bambi. I'm his guardian and owner. He's my pet and I can't leave him alone. Besides…" You squirmed lightly in your seat. "He doesn't like strangers."

"Once he gets to know us, it won't be a problem!"

"No, Bob, you don't understand. He almost killed Purple the first time he saw him. And he got pretty close to tearing Zim to pieces when he showed up too."

Bob cackled loudly. He folded his hands across his abdomen, laughing away, apparently tickled by your explanation.

Frustration started to slowly eek away at you but you quickly hid that. This wasn't an Earthling and you weren't home. You were on their turf now. Things were different and you had to always be mindful of that.

"Your beast is a great judge of character!" Bob praised.

"I think that beings from other planets scare him," you explained. "He doesn't know what to make of them and thinks they're a threat. He attacks because he's trying to protect himself and me. If I leave him here, he will not be happy and he will attack you. Then you'll probably have to kill him. I'm sorry, I can't do it."

You kept your mouth shut about Baby, hoping she'd remain quiet and hidden long enough until you concluded your business with the pirates. There was a healthy chance she'd be aggressive with them too. Quite a few of them would end up being bit and scratched by her. You weren't going to part with her either.

"Maybe there's an item on the ship you might need or want?" you suggested. Maybe some material thing would strike him fancy. "Got a TV?"

"Yup," Bob nodded.

"How about a video gaming system?"

"We have that too."

"Let's do this… After we finish up with this celebration, I'll take you aboard the ship and I'll let you have a look around. Anything you like, you can have, that's within reason of course."

"I guess we can do that. I still gotta think your proposal through. I can't make a decision just yet."

You thought you were on the same page as him. But you kept your mouth shut and nodded. The last thing you wanted to do was piss off a pirate captain and have him sick his crew members on you. That would be very, very bad. And that would undo all the negotiating you had just done with him. The ball was in his court and it would stay there until he made up his mind.

"Fair enough," you said.

He handed you a glass filled with some sort of semi-cloudy, white liquid in it. It had an acrid smell to it and it reminded you of the alcoholic drinks back home. The aroma of the drink made your stomach churn.

"Want some space rum?" he offered.

"No thank you," you said, giving him a small, polite smile. "I don't think I'm ready for food or drink just yet."

"Suit yourself, help yourself to whatever you want whenever you want."

"Thank you. That's very nice of you."

"Hey, we've got no problems with you. You just happened to show up with one of our sworn enemies."

It did feel incredibly awkward the more it sunk in. Right off the bat, you were associated with Purple and it just so happened that a whole universe hated him and Red. Everyone wanted the two Tallest dead or gone. Not even their fellow Irken particularly liked them and only followed them because it was their duty. It was all they knew and they had no other choice.

But there were Irken like Bob and Lyn. They abandoned all that they knew and grew up in. They turned their back on the Empire and their Tallest. And there were the many other Irken you heard about that also supplemented the ranks of the Resisty. They were defectives and they made the choice to walk away. You realized it must've been especially bad if these supposedly loyal and steadfast aliens were abandoning their cause and actively working against it now. They would rather die trying to destroy the Empire instead of waiting for it to kill them first.

So, yeah. You showing up with Purple and defending him didn't necessarily make you look good. Maybe it was no surprise that he wouldn't trust you so quickly. If anything, it just made everything dicey and precarious.

Out of the throng of rough housing and drunk pirates, you saw a smaller figure push through them. They were making their way to the table where you and Bob sat. Once you recognized the feathered shape, you slightly tensed.

"Minwa," Bob smiled cheerfully.

Despite the grave and dour aura that the Yuti exuded, she immediately lightened up when he addressed her. The young pirate smiled and she took a seat next to him.

"Bob," she said. "Having fun?"

"I was just talking to our guest," he said, gesturing to you. "She wants us to release her and Purple."

The bird-alien's head instantly snapped to your direction. She almost looked amazed.

"Are you insane?!" she blurted out.

You gave her a shrug. You could understand what was going on through her head but you wouldn't explain your reasoning. It was more than likely she'd still call you crazy no matter what.

Minwa only snorted in disgust and rolled her eyes.

"Do you know what he's going to do to you and your planet?" she asked.

"I won't let him," you said coldly.

"You won't let him?"

"No. Absolutely not. I won't let him."

"You sound so sure of that, Earthling. Are you really aware of who you're dealing with? Do you know just how heartless and moronic he is?"

You can hear the challenging, angry tone in her voice. You already knew you were at odds with this being but now it seemed like she insisted on taking it a step further. There was no desire in your heart to make enemies. But as long as you stuck with Purple, it seemed impossible. His enemies were most likely going to be yours. And from what you could guess, he had way more foes than friends.

"He needs help," you said. "He is an idiot, that much I know. I won't lie about that."

"Oh," Minwa scoffed, "he's more than an idiot. He's a destructive, selfish, evil idiot! Do you realize how many planets he and his co-Tallest have destroyed? Do you know how many people they have killed in the name of conquest? Do you know that he mistreats and abuses his own kind? Has he told you any of those things when he was in exile with you? Or did he choose not to in the fear that he'd lose you?"

You were enlightened regarding Bob's grudge towards him. That was indeed a horrible and shallow thing for him to do. And you began to see more and more how wretched and unlikable he could really be.

"When he and Tallest Red commanded one of their Invaders to come to my planet, I lost everything," Minwa revealed. "She led a rebellion that spilled the blood of many of my people! She intentionally turned so many of them against each other! She persuaded many Yuti to betray their rightfully chosen War-queen! She then slaughtered her and became this shameful pretender! She has no right to be the new War-queen and leader of a race that is not hers to begin with!"

"I know about her," you said. Upon hearing about Minwa's lament, you softened up slightly but you still kept your guard up. "And I'm sorry about what happened, I know it's not right for these Invaders to be doing these things."

"He sent her to Yutus. He is as guilty as Lyn is. Therefore, I will never forgive that freak because she made an orphan out of me." She paused, reflecting on the happy years and the time she had with mother. Minwa was still a child and her years were few but what was spent with Kalix was invaluable and sweet. "He will ruin your life and your planet as he did to mine. This is why so many hate the Empire and the two Tallests. All they do is make others suffer and they consume and destroy everything. And when the Tallests' own subjects turn on them, doesn't that tell you anything, Human? It should tell you everything."

There was nothing you could say. You knew that saying sorry wasn't going to magically undo everything and return things to the way they were before the Empire absorbed all of these countless planets. This child was clearly damaged and bitter from the fate that befell her planet and her people. You could understand why she hated Purple and the Empire he governed. You didn't expect her to ever forgive him.

Maybe Earth was lucky that it was so isolated and unknown. Yet currently it was plagued by Zim but for now, he sought to protect and caretake it with Purple's newest order. More and more, you were thinking less about the Empire annexing your world. It was something you couldn't allow anymore. Yes, Purple might treat your planet better than the other worlds that had been conquered but the fact remained that it would be open to exploitation and possibly annihilation in the future. Many Earthlings might possibly die in the process.

This was a reality you couldn't ignore. The possible carnage and loss of life was something you couldn't gamble. You refused to have the blood of countless lives on your hands. You truly would be a traitor then. No longer could you let him christen it as his personal bakery and retreat.

Earth had to be left alone at all costs. Your species wouldn't stand a chance against this huge, destructive entity. It would be catastrophic. In the end, they'd end up just like the Yuti and all these other oppressed aliens.

"Do you see that Vortian there?" Minwa asked, sensing your discord and turmoil.

She pointed a finger out at the particular creature. You followed the direction and beheld a horned, green colored creature with dark brown eyes. It was a shorter being, a little greater than Zim's height but you still towered over the alien. It was intently watching a thumb wrestling match between its comrades and it looked like it was absolutely enthralled with the duel.

"His name is Gen Tso," she explained. "Gen Tso is a Vortian. The Vortians used to be allied with the Irken Empire, that was, until Tallest Red and Purple turned on them. The Vortians were their close confidants and allies for centuries and yet those two deemed that the alliance was no longer beneficial to them. Gen Tso and his family managed to flee the takeover of their homeworld and were scattered throughout the universe. He joined our crew so he could send whatever spoils he acquired to his mother and two younger sisters who live all the way across the other side of the galaxy. Before the Empire turned on the Vortians, he and his family owned their own welding business. But when the takeover happened, they fled Vort, having to leave behind everything they owned and held dear. Because they knew what fate was in store for them if they dared to stay behind. They would either be miserably enslaved or simply killed if they were deemed useless enough.

Your eyes lingered on Gen Tso for a few moments. You never would've guessed his story was so unfortunate. He was happily fraternizing with his crewmates and you would've wrongly assumed he had an easygoing life. Maybe he joined these pirates for an adrenaline rush. Yet you thought wrong.

Then your eyes wandered, observing all the other aliens that crammed the room. Perhaps most of these people were all plagued by hard times brought about by the Empire. They chose this occupation with vengeance or necessity in mind. They had to adapt and survive somehow in this unfair and cruel universe. Despite it, they all seemed to interact with each other contently. They all seemed like they got along as they celebrated, drank and feasted over their latest and possibly greatest achievement.

If this happened months earlier, if you found out these things about Purple back when you first met him, this would've been far different. You happily would've ditched him and let these pirates did as they wished with him. He created this mess and he would have to deal with the consequences on his own.

This had taken a far darker turn that what you had foreseen and preferred for that matter. Now you understood why Minwa took such joy in shocking him earlier that day. She was making him pay. She wanted him to feel the pain he forced her to endure.

"I'm sorry for attacking you earlier," you said, turning back to the young Yuti. "I understand better now."

"You're forgiven," Minwa nodded. "It was in the heat of battle. Sometimes we think and don't act and we make decisions like that."

Bob smiled and pulled out a small remote control from within his garb. He pressed a button on it.

You let out a small gasp when you heard a click from around your wrists. The cuffs that previously restrained you fell off and you were unbound at last. You rubbed at your wrist, delighted to feel your bare flesh again.

"Thanks," you grinned, truly grateful that they granted you this liberty again. "And Bob, I understand why you need to think about this. It's a lot. I get it." You huffed and felt dread pooling up inside you. "Can I ask for a favor?"

"Which is?" the small Irken said.

"I need to talk to Purple. I need to set some things straight with him."

Bob and Minwa glanced at each other. It almost seemed like they were wordlessly communicating. Anxiety began to seep more into you with each second that ticked by.

"You can monitor our conversation if you want," you suggested, sensing that they were suspicious. "I have nothing to hide."

"We'll take you down to him," Bob permitted. "You better let him know what we talked about. He's gotta know he'll be paying me back."

"He won't be trying anything with those restraining manacles anyway," Minwa reminded you. "They're pretty much an Irken's worst nightmare."

The two pirates got up from their seats. You followed suite, letting them take you to where they held him. Cooperation, good manners and reasoning were the only weapons you had in your hands.

Silently, you walked after them, your mind and emotions a torrid mess.

(…)

It was dark and cold. Aside from it being a holding cell, it also served as a storage bin for perishables. There were small, intermittent lights that glowed softly along the walls as you walked deeper into the brig. You could feel gooseflesh form on your skin and you suppressed a shudder that radiated through your whole body. When you passed by one of the light fixtures, you could see your breath. You folded your arms across your chest, trying to conserve some warmth.

Bob and Minwa walked ahead, guiding you to the furthermost corner of the brig where Purple was kept locked up. It was too quiet and internally, it was killing you. You couldn't let it continue.

"So," you said, shattering the silence, "you wear tables on your heads? That's your gimmick?"

"I was a table-headed service drone," Bob explained. "I was a literal table. I was ashamed of it my whole life but when Purple and Red tried to kill me off and I abandoned the Empire, I changed my mind. I would still wear my table and use it as a symbol. Even though I was once one of the lowest of the low in my old society, I would wear it with a different purpose. Sounds deep, right?"

"Admirable. Admirable and ballsy. I can respect that."

"And now Purple has to live with the fact his old table captured him!" He cackled. "Now he's at my mercy!"

"I think it's cool," Minwa chirped, gesturing to the table stapped on her own head. "It functions as a helmet if you think about it. Your foe can't hit the top of your head! Very handy in a battle!"

You smiled softly at her obvious enthusiasm. Despite her being a child, she was surprisingly mature and wise, more so than a lot of folks you knew back at home. Unfortunately, it was most likely the devastation of her homeworld that probably forced her to grow up faster than she should have. It was probable that much of her childhood had been robbed from her. But some of that simple glee and innocence seemed to shine when she interacted with her boss and guardian.

You were snapped from your observations when you heard Purple suddenly call out to you. He said your name, most likely sensing or hearing your approach.

"Purple, I'm here!" you responded, picking up your pace.

You could see the outline of the bars that prevented him from meeting you. You spotted his silhouette pressed against them along with the luminous glow of his large, purple eyes. It almost looked like he was trying to push his head through the bars, trying to reach out to you.

Bob and Minwa stood aside, allowing you to approach him. They backed off and held their ground, letting the two of you reunite. Although they would let you and him interact, they would remain close by just in case. They were certain of you but uncertain of him.

The look on Purple's face was absolutely pitiful. His whole form was trembling slightly, probably due to the chill of the brig. He never could tolerate the cold very well and he stated earlier that he clearly preferred hot weather. His face was marred with fear and almost looked like he was about to burst into tears. He looked totally opposite to what a Tallest should've been.

"Bob, is there a blanket or something I can give him?" you called out. "Please, I'd like to give him one."

"You're okay!" Purple smiled although it was strained and warped. He was happy to see you return but he was still terrified of his circumstances. "Babe, I'm glad you're in one piece! What happened? Is everything okay?"

You couldn't find any words to say as you stared back at him. In the beginning, you thought you were going to be eloquent and straight to the point. But for as long as you looked into those large, luminous eyes, your tongue was tied. You almost had too much you wanted to say. The tales the pirates told you weighed heavily on your mind. It wasn't something you could ignore so easily.

Everything painted a horrendous picture. To try to pretend it didn't exist wouldn't turn out well for you. This was a very serious and grievous matter on your hands.

"Here," Bob said, approaching your side.

"Thank you," you nodded, taking the folded up blanket from him.

Bob left your side and took his place in the shadows again. You reached through the bars and draped the soft, insulating blanket over the Tallest's shoulders. His antennae wiggled happily at the gesture and he blinked slowly, relishing it. It soothed him and gave him warmth and comfort.

Purple rested his faced against the bars and puckered his mouth, wanting you to kiss him. Yet when you didn't lean forward and return the gesture, some of that fleeting relief immediately combusted. His spooch twisted with anxiety and his eyes looked like they grew wider.

"Babe?" he said, his voice becoming mousy. "Are things okay?"

"You have done a lot of despicable and terrible things, haven't you?" you said, cutting straight to the point. "I want you to tell me the truth, right now."

Purple was silent and his lower jaw hung slightly. Ever so steadily, he backed away from the bars, knowing what was to come. He could feel it in the pit of his spooch and he knew he couldn't escape.

"You betrayed species allied with you," you resumed. "You abused and mistreated your own people. You're like an overgrown locust, are you aware of that?"

The confrontational edge in your voice made him shrink back further. Very thoroughly, he disliked fights with you. In the beginning, he could care less and he delighted in annoying and inconveniencing you. But now that he became quite attached and fond to you, it hurt him. The last thing he wanted was to be mad at you and you at him in return. It made him feel flighty and panicked. He wanted to experience nothing but good and positive things with you. So, something like this was extremely uncomfortable and daunting.

"Answer me!" you demanded, feeling your patience whittling. You were getting more and more enraged with each second that ticked by. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, don’t you?”

"Did you let those filthy pirates get into your head?" he snapped back. "You trust them over me?"

"Purple, the painting was already being painted before this happened! You told me you ran an empire that included many planets! Empires are created by taking shit over and ruling others! You said there was a rebellion called the Resisty and they aimed to fight back against you! And, not only that, you told me all about Lyn and the other Irken who all turned against you! You can't hide this anymore! Tell me the truth about everything!"

"The Tallest are at the top of the everything! That's the way it's always been! The shortest are at the bottom and it's been that way for many centuries! It's tradition! No one gets to choose whether they get to be tall or small, it's the way it is! I was lucky and won the genetic lottery! The folks like that table-headed drone over there were the unlucky ones!"

"You owe him six million monies, Purple. That's why you're captured, shackled and at his mercy now! If you paid up and held up your end of the bargain, things would've been different!"

"You think I'm gonna cough up my monies and fork it over to him?" Purple sneered and laughed briefly. "I'm the Tallest, I make the calls! I went back on the deal because it's my monies! I'm not giving it to him!"

Oh… OH MY GOD.

You couldn't believe the things coming out of his trap. You were stunned into temporary silence, in shock over it. How could he be so dense and spoiled? You knew he could be an idiot at times but this just revealed the true, dark depths of that flaw.

"This is the reason why everyone wants you dead!" you yelled at the top of your lungs. "You colossal dumbass! Don't you see what you've created?! Don't you see what you've done and unleashed?!"

"Don't talk to me like I'm some newly hatched smeet!" he lashed back at you.

"You're so much of an asshole that your people are plotting against you! What does that tell you?!"

"Then it's too bad for them that they're defective and can't take the system that we're all forced to obey!"

"You're a defective too, open your fucking eyes! You cried like a baby because you were trying to understand feelings! I had to hold you and calm you down because you were so upset and confused! You're no different than your own subjects you torment and step all over!"

"I'm the Tallest, I can do whatever I want! I was hatched lucky and I won't give up what is rightfully mine! And don't you dare blame everything on me!" He reared up to his full height, towering over you and the two witnesses. "Red and I have only just started! You wanna know why the Empire is so big? It's because of Tallest Hrawl and Gavi! They were the two who made it as big as it is today! Red and I wanted to be just like them and beat their record! They were the conquerors and Miyuki was the administrator! She was the one who kept everything together and enforced law and order. We're taking advantage of the strength Miyuki created and we're starting up another conquering spree! Those two Tallest are the reason why there are many enemies as we have!"

"That's no excuse! It's no excuse for your abominable behavior!"

"It's my job! I have to conquer, I have to make the Empire bigger, better and stronger! Can't you see that, you thickheaded Earthling?! I'm a Tallest and I have to fulfill all of the duties of one whether I like it or not!"

"You wanna call me thickheaded?!" You were beyond furious and you were happy the bars kept the two of you separated. Otherwise, you were sure you would've punched him in the jaw. "You're the one who can't realize that everyone hates you because you're a monster! Everything is your goddamn fault! You and Red deserved to have this blow up in your faces! You deserved to have been caught, cuffed and shoved into this dark, cold space! You deserved to get captured and humiliated by the servant you cheated and tried to eliminate! You're selfish, shallow, greedy, stupid, a coward and a loser!"

The growl that came from him sounded like a noise that should've came from Bambi's throat. He threw himself against the bars, causing you to recoil backwards and fall onto your backside. Purple's jaws were clenched and he bore his teeth at you. Rage burned brightly in his eyes and he glowered menacingly at you.

"You're the coward!" he hissed. "You were the one who had to run away from your own planet because some freakishly large headed kid kept harassing you! I took you with me to cut you a break and to keep Zim from you! I thought you were too weak to deal with them!"

Your heart pounded in your chest. You remained on the floor, staring up at him. Suddenly, you felt very small and vulnerable.

"You think you're so much better than me?!" he fumed. "Get out of my face! I won't listen to you treat me like a smeet! Hit the road and go hang out with your new friends that you suddenly care for so much!"

"That's enough!" Minwa raised her voice as she stepped forward. She held the remote in her hand and held it up, warning the tall Irken of what she was poised to do. "No more noise!"

"Ooh, look who it is!" Purple laughed mockingly. "It's the lost princess! You wanna yell at me too? Whaddaya want me to do? Bring your dead mommy back? You can ask Lyn that favor, not me, you feathered brat!"

You could see the pain and vulnerability in her eyes when he said those words. You had no idea she was royalty. As far as you remembered, Minwa didn't mention anything about that. All you knew was that she lost her family when Lyn conquered her planet and that was that.

"Purple, this is between you and me!" you reminded him, wanting him to not focus on the child. "Leave her out of this!

"I'm done talking to you, Human!" he roared. "All I hear is blah, blah, blah! You're a stuck-up know-it-all and I'm sick of listening to you lecture me! I'm tired of looking at your face! Get out!"

You should've seen this coming. You should've known he'd reacted defensively and lash out angrily at you. It hurt you more than you thought it could.

"I was so wrong about you," you said, slowly standing up again. "You're worse than I ever thought possible. I've wasted my time."

"You've wasted mine too," Purple retorted. His tone was icy and he steadily backed up, retreating into the darkest corner of the cell. "Let's change that starting now."

Visibly you were shaking. You were enraged, heartbroken and frustrated all at the same time. You simply couldn't deal with anything at the moment. Your fingers trembled as you tried your hardest to remain as stony and composed as possible. However, you knew that was a lost cause

You ignored the shapes of Minwa and Bob as they inched closer ever so slightly. You brusquely passed them and power walked through the brig, intending to leave him behind and find your own dark corner to lurk in.

You wouldn't cry until you boarded Purple's shuttle and you would stay there until you calmed down. You didn't want to show any sign of weaknesses that your host might take advantage of. All you wanted was to scream, cry and punch a wall.

This did not go according to plan.

Chapter Text

Chapter 27 Suck it Up, Buttercup

(…)

The pirates didn't bother to go after you but at the same time, you could care less. All that mattered was having some privacy and space. You needed to be alone and vent your frustration and woe. Interacting with anyone, regardless of who they were or was out of the question. Luckily, you found your refuge in the bedroom where Baby and Bambi lurked. You lingered in that room, not intending on leaving it anytime soon.

While the rabbit and dog swarmed you and were literally on your feet, trying to greet and shower you with affection, you couldn't reciprocate. You slumped down at the foot of the bed and parked your rump on the cool, hard floor. As soon as you sat down, the floodgates burst. The tears flowed like a breached levee and you cried hard and long for the first time in years. The last time you probably wept like this was when your grandfather died. And the time before that? When you got the news of the fatal accident that claimed your father. You didn't like crying and you had the tendency to bottle up your emotions until they exploded.

You felt like an idiot. You should've approached him with more tact and grace. But your feelings and insecurities got the better of you. Your anger and disappointment possessed you and you pretty much verbally attacked and berated Purple. You couldn't help it. It burst forth and there was no filter and it just happened. You thought you could be coolheaded and in control.

Yeah, right. You fucked up big time.

Baby hopped up into your lap and remained parked there. Bambi laid at your side, keeping close to you, reluctant to part with you for any reason. The two animals were quiet, wordlessly offering their presences and closeness as consolation for you. It was funny. Sometimes, you far preferred their company to many folks. They seemed more empathetic and sensitive than some people you've met over the years. It was strange but they always gave you comfort and closure. They were beasts but they were family. The only other folks you considered to be your family were Zack, Kendra and Ted. Unfortunately, they were so far out of reach…

You knew you weren't perfect. There was no way that you could ever claim that you were. You were Human and you knew damn well that they were a rather embarrassingly imperfect species. But you liked to think you had more sense, intelligence and cognizance than the average Earthling. After all, many city dwelling tourists came to your state park and frankly, their profound stupidity astonished and frightened you simultaneously. But you weren't perfect… That was a fact.

And one of those shortcomings or faults had been blaringly obvious. When you were angered enough, you made dumb mistakes. You could say things you regretted and you were ready to throw hands if it got heated and necessary enough. But you rarely got genuinely, deeply angry to resort to those tactics. This happened to be one of those incidents.

You were so mad because you were so disappointed in him. You wanted him to be better than that. You loved him and wanted him to not be so defiant and hashing out those lame excuses. You wanted Purple to be so much more than a jaded, entitled tyrant.

What was reflected in the mirror was indeed the truth. It was ugly, it was sobering and it was something you couldn't run from. It broke your heart.

Now you had to deal with the aftermath. You were far from home and had no one else to turn to. Bambi and Baby provided you with comfort but they couldn't speak. They weren't truly sentient. You were trapped and alone.

These pirates weren't your friends. Understandably, you didn't win their full trust. Now that this explosive fight occurred, everything else especially came to a screeching halt. It made things all the more difficult to navigate. There was a chance you wouldn't be able to fulfill the offer you made to Bob. The deal might very well fall through. Maybe you'd end up joining these pirates after all.

Or perhaps they'd be kind enough to take you to Earth. You'd have to deal with Dib's threat again but now that was the least of your concerns. And if Purple now hated you and wanted nothing to do with you anymore, he might come back and utterly obliterate Earth. He might be so pissed off he wouldn't even care about acknowledging Earth's snacks anymore. You'd end up sealing your fate and your planet's in the process.

Yeah. This was probably the dumbest, most impulsive thing you've done. And now you had to deal with the consequences like a fully functional adult woman.

"I'm an idiot, guys," you scoffed, speaking to your pets. "I'm supposed to be the dominant species here but here I am, a mess."

Bambi whined quietly and his big, brown eyes looked back at you. You set a hand on top of his skull and stroked it. His tail wagged slightly.

"I really, really screwed up," you muttered. "This was the biggest mistake of my life. God, I don't know if I can ever get back home. I should've left you two with Ted or Kendra. I wasn't thinking and I thought you'd be better off with me. We're nearly two weeks from home and we're on our own."

This was a catastrophe. You felt numb and drained from the ordeal. You didn't even have the strength to get up and move. And with your animals atop you, it further hindered that effort. It seemed that they didn't want you to exert yourself.

You should've approached the situation firmly but delicately. You remembered how he seemed to shrink back at first when you confronted him in the beginning. He didn't want to argue. He didn't want to fight with you. But you insisted. You persisted and demanded your answers. You wanted him to answer for his poor choices.

Internally, you cringed. You knew it was wrong. He was at fault for the things he did. But you were wrong to approach the subject so hotly. Maybe if you were calmer and more poised, it would've been far different. You brought fire and fury to the party and he reciprocated.

Yet you didn't have the heart to get up and go see Purple. Three hours passed since the outburst and you knew there was a chance he was going to be unhappy to see you if you showed your face. Heck, he might break through those bars and bite your head off. It wouldn't be a smart move to try to make amends just yet. Some more time needed to pass.

Truly and deeply, you hoped you could somehow salvage this. Maybe it wasn't completely sabotaged. Maybe there was some hope, a fool's hope. But you'd try again. You'd try a second time and explain to him why it was all wrong.

Then you noticed that Baby's large, upright ears swiveled about. Her little nose moved faster as she caught onto a scent and heard a sound that was all but unnoticed by you.

You were particularly wary when you heard Bambi start to growl. His head turned to the door on the other side of the room. You could hear footfalls come closer.

Carefully, you scooted Baby out of your lap. Then you latched a hand around Bambi's collar and sternly held fast to him. The last thing you needed was to have him attack someone and worsen the situation further. You'd avoid that as much as humanly possible.

His growling became louder and you could see his lips curl back, displaying his teeth. Man, he really needed to get used to aliens. The only one he accepted was Purple but all others were still potential threats. And after seeing what he did to Zim, you knew he'd likely attack again if he was given the chance.

"Who's there?" you called out. "Don't get too close, Bambi is nervous with strangers!"

You could hear the footsteps halt momentarily. But then they restarted a few seconds later.

"Hey, be nice!" you commanded your dog. "You're not allowed to act like this, mister. Be nice, Bambi!"

His noise quieted somewhat but you could see his lips twitch and raise. His eyes were pinned on the door.

Then it opened up.

"He can't be any scarier than the spider-wolves back home," Minwa said. She chuckled. "Actually, he's cuter and tinier than them."

Bambi snarled at the sight of the Yuti pirate. He held his ground, staying by your side but he maintained his aggression. Your hand firmly clamped around his collar, forbidding him from lunging forward if he did try to deter her.

"Be nice!" you commanded, making sure your tone was commanding and warning. "It's okay, be nice!"

Your attention was temporarily diverted when you heard Baby stomp. She grunted loudly as well, conveying her displeasure with this visitor. She was equally as unhappy with Minwa's arrival.

"Hey, you too!" you lightly scolded her. "The both of you gotta get used to intergalactic denizens seeing as we're out here…" You sighed, not feeling ready to talk to someone else right now but knowing fate didn't care at the moment. "Can I help you?"

"It was Bob's idea," she said. "He wanted me to check up on our guest. Personally, I would've given you a day."

"There's not much to say." You shrugged rather apathetically. "You were there. It was a royal mess."

"It was. But it was necessary. He needed to hear those things. And he needed to hear them from you more than anything else."

"How old are you? You look like you gotta be twelve at most. You're the size of a kid of that age on my planet."

Minwa blinked, a bit caught off guard by your question. She hesitated for a few seconds before she was ready to answer.

"I'm actually twelve myself," she said.

"You're the smartest damn twelve year old I ever met," you commented. "Aside from the one who drove me from my planet… You're actually smarter and wiser than a lot of adults I know."

"My mother raised me to be smart and wise. She was brave, intelligent, wise, proud and beautiful. She was my role model. I-I guess she still is."

"I'm sure she'd be very proud of how you've grown up so far."

She averted her gaze from yours momentarily. It looked like she was reluctant to talk about the matter.

"I guess," she said, her voice sounding unsure.

"You're lucky," you said. "I never knew my mother."

"How?" she practically demanded.

"She didn't want anything to do with me when I was born. She dumped me on my father and she walked off."

"Your father raised you?"

"Yeah. My dad and my grandpa did. But that's okay. I grew up without her and I certainly don't regret it." You smiled bitterly. "It was her fault for missing out on her kid. Maybe it was better that she was never a part of my life."

"I'm sorry that you never knew your mother. I lost my father before I lost my mother. I was very young when he died but I remember a little about him."

Bambi had calmed down but he remained wary. Baby was as still as a statue and carefully eyed the feathered alien. They seemed more acclimated to her presence. When they sensed you weren't agitated or anxious, it assured them in return. It was a bit encouraging.

"Bob may have sent me to check on you," she resumed. "But I also wanted to talk to you too."

"About that disastrous, failed intervention of sorts?" you snorted. "That was a joke. I'm sorry but I don't think I'm in the mood to talk about it."

"I know that you're strong enough to talk about it. You just choose not to."

"…that's what I just said."

"I watched everything very closely. I saw how he didn't want to fight with you. But you kept at it. You didn't back down."

"What you saw was a very angry woman who doesn't think before she acts when she gets pissed enough. That was a disgrace, Minwa. I suggest you learn from that."

"I thought the worst about you when I first interacted with you. But when you attacked me to protect him and when I saw you confront him in the brig, you changed my mind. You don't stand with him and agree with him. I can respect your choice and your refusal to back down." She paused for a moment. "My species are very brutally honest. We call it like it is. And I like that you pulled no punches with him. You confronted him like a Yuti would. But we're not always cruel. We are especially honest with the people closest to us because we love them. And I can tell that you love him, Human."

You weren't sure what else to say. She was deadly accurate and there was simply no way you'd try to tell her she was wrong. It was pointless to resist or to try to draw up contrary evidence.

"You may be the Tallest's female but you don't approve of what he does," she went on. "You're no supporter of the Irken Empire, are you?"

"I'm not," you said, confirming it. "It's wrong. I can understand if a planet is dead and there's no dominant, intelligent life there. But taking over a world that is clearly occupied, developed and are happy as they are?" You scoffed shortly. "They need to be left alone to do as they please by themselves. It's only common sense and common courtesy. But that must be an Earthling custom…or even worse, a personal belief of mine."

"I hate to say it but I see some of us in the Irken race… Like them, we Yuti are warriors. But that is where are similarities end. We are nowhere near as advanced as they are. We also are not greedy and destroy everything around us." Minwa fell silent for a few moments and shook her feathered head. "There are four main tribes on my planet and each tribe has their own characteristics and traits. My parents and I were from the Aquila tribe. Those four tribes rarely get along and our alliances fluctuate over the years. For two hundred years, we sided with the Corvidii, then after that, we allied with the Sitacci and you get the idea. Each tribe has their chief that is their strongest warrior. And the War-king or queen is decided from the strongest chief of those four tribes. My mother was once the Aquila chief then won the right to be War-queen and consequently, the ruler of the planet. And when the ruler of the Yutus is chosen, the tribe they come from becomes the dominant one. Sometimes the tribes accept the dominant one…other times, they don't and wars breakout. We are not perfect and we do not claim to be."

"And what about this rival of your mother’s that teamed up with Lyn? She didn't accept your mother as the War-queen?"

"No."

The tone in her voice was harsh and curt. Minwa glared at the floor and her feathers fluffed up. The tip of her beak clicked as her anger rose.

"Naver was the chief of the Sitacci," she explained. "My mother and Naver were always at odds. Naver was almost crowned War-queen but my mother defeated her in combat and rightfully won. But Naver was jealous and bitter. That's why she teamed up with Lyn. She wanted revenge and she didn't care about betraying her entire race in the process. And she ended up devoting herself to Lyn so much that she didn't even care that the filthy Irken was to be the next War-queen. I will never join the Resisty because the second that I see either of those two, I will try to kill them. But I know that will only get me killed in return. My mother trained me a little but I am no seasoned warrior. My training is incomplete... Lyn and Naver would surely kill me. I am lucky to have survived fighting the Tallest. I only won because I caught him off guard. Now, my only loyalty lies with Bob and these pirates."

You pitied her. Already, she had a rough life and she undoubtedly sustained scars and trauma that would stick with her for years to come. They hardened and shaped her, forcing her to grow up. It was a part of who she was now.

"Human, I tell you these things because this is only my story," she said. "I can tell you about one life, my life. It is one of the countless that had been destroyed by the Irken Empire and its slaves."

"You call them slaves?" you asked, raising a brow.

"Yes. They are. They are slaves and they don't even realize it. Even your beloved Tallest is one. I can tell you these things because I know you will understand." Her pupils shrunk for a moment before they returned to their original size. "You have heard of these things as most of us have. It is these Control Brains. They are the true masterminds of everything. I only know that they create every Irken and they dictate all of their lives. It may seem like the Tallest are in command but I think the Control Brains, well, control everything in truth."

"Purple told me about them."

"So, anything I tell you about them is something you know already. Human, can I trust you?"

Minwa was silent as she awaited your answer. For a few seconds, you were unsure of how to reply. Frankly, you were shocked you were even having these words with her. It felt so surreal and unusual. You didn't understand why she was telling you these things and seemed to take such an interest in you. But you couldn't betray the trust of a child, regardless of what species they were.

"Yes," you replied.

"I think the only way to win against the Irken Empire is to destroy the Control Brains," she said. "You must overthrow their true, hidden leaders. I think that if you do that, you will tear the Empire down. Their race will become extinct if these Brains can no longer create more Irken smeets."

….you weren't expecting to hear those words come out from her mouth. That was a very bold thing. All you could do was stare back at her, your mouth dry and your lower jaw dropped.

"You understand the plight of a million worlds," Minwa implored. "You stand against the Empire. You know they're wrong and you sympathize with others. Human, because you're so close to a Tallest, you must make a choice. If you weren't his beloved, I wouldn't be telling you these things. You have to decide. You have to stand with him or against him."

Now, you dearly wished to be alone. However, you weren't going to say that. By doing that, you knew Minwa would immediately be suspicious. You didn't want to betray her trust and cause her to jeopardize your objectives and freedom. Too much was happening at the same time and it was starting to freak you out.

You were already upset over the altercation with Purple and now Minwa was asking this of you. Of course, you sympathized with her and the many who had been hurt by the Irken Empire. You knew it was all wrong.

You were also struggling with you acting rashly on your end with Purple. You sought to try to make things right. And if you were to stand against him, it would most certainly destroy your relationship right then and there. Your betrayal would utterly infuriate him and there would be no way to salvage it then. He would hate you and he would make your life a living Hell. Your planet would be endangered and your beloved pets would surely face his wrath as well. All of that trust and love would get thrown out the window and you shuddered to think about that unhappy future.

But if you were to stand with him, you would betray yourself. You would betray the trust of these pirates who treated you rather amicably. You would turn your back on these unfortunate souls. You would be a twofaced traitor. And you would possibly seal the fate of your planet in return. However, he would be happy and perhaps you would too. But that was one, great, big "maybe".

These emotions were too messy. Your conscious was too hounded. It was all just too complicated and aggravating. Why couldn't it be easy? Why did everything have to be so severe? Why didn't you just shoot him when he tried to break into your house on that October night?

"Listen, Minwa," you said, your tone even and as calm as you could muster. "You're a real smart kid, you're probably the smartest one I ever met. But I need you to understand something. I need you realize you're asking a lot out of me. I'm an adult and this... this is a very hard choice the longer you think about it."

"You don't want to hurt him," she deduced.

"Yes. I don’t want to do that."

"He is a slave, Human. Free him. Do you love him?"

"Yes, of course I do."

"Then you would do whatever you have to. My mother honored the challenge presented to her to protect me and her planet from the Invader. She died and Yutus fell but I survived. Because of her sacrifice, I lived. And I will honor her sacrifice by continuing to survive and doing what I can to avenge her. I think I can do that by helping you. You are in a position that many would kill for. You have that opportunity and that power. I suggest you use it. Destroy the Control Brains and the Irken Empire falls. Destroy them and you free him. How you do it all is up to you."

The writing was on the wall and you couldn't ignore it. Before you'd go back to try to make amends with Purple, you needed to make this choice. You needed to do this before anything else.

Minwa was right. The kid was actually right.

"I will leave you be," she said. "You need to be alone."

"Yes, I think I do need it," you nodded. "Minwa, thank you." A smile cracked across your face. "I think I would've loved to have met your mom because she did such a wonderful job with you. She would be so proud of how her daughter turned out."

The young Yuti pirate turned her head away too quickly. She stood in place and held her ground, not leaving just yet. Although her face was turned from yours, you could see a few stray droplets of water fall to the floor. She wept but you would not say a thing.

"I hope so, Human," she whispered, barely audible.

Nothing more was said and Minwa finally walked away. The door automatically shut behind her.

Baby and Bambi relaxed when she departed but luckily they did escalate the situation at all. They remained at your side and remained calm but alert. You were relieved. Your hand released Bambi's collar. Baby hopped back up onto your lap and gently butted her head into your stomach.

"Okay…" you whispered. "We have a very important decision to make."

(…)

There was no effort to escape, nor was there a single noise. The brig was dark, chilled and completely silent. One could probably hear the sound of their own heart beating in their ears.

But despite it seeming totally abandoned and eerily quiet, there lingered one soul.

In the farthest corner of the brig, underneath a blanket, he sat. The Irken ruler remained in this crevice, quietly fuming and dwelling on the confrontation that happened a few hours ago. The previous discomfort he felt far earlier with his arms was long forgotten about. Instead, he was far more focused on other things. There were far more pressing matters he had to entertain.

Who did this Earthling think she was? Who was she to boss him around and tell him what to do? She wasn't an Irken and she definitely wasn't taller than he was. True, she was taller than a vast majority of his kind but she was still dwarfed by some of the taller individuals. She wasn't as tall as any of the ten tallest Irken behind him. The female had no right to open up her mouth and attack him like that. She wasn't even a ruler herself. She was an ordinary citizen amongst her race and she had no reason to tell him how to lead his Empire and criticize what he did. Whatever she had to say was null and void.

It utterly infuriated him. She stepped out of line and challenged him. The only ones that ever questioned his leadership were Resisty members and defectives. And now this Human stood in defiance of him. This she-beast had the gall and sheer audacity to belittle and berate him. He couldn't stand for the humiliation. He got rid of people who pulled stunts like hers.

Purple huddled under the blanket, his antennae pressed against the back of his cranium. His eyes were narrowed and he scowled heavily. His mood was foul and he was only happy that he was alone. He had no desire to see anyone and he craved being on his lonesome for the time being. The cold no longer bothered him, his anger serving as his metaphorical fuel now.

What did she know? She wasn't an Irken, let alone an Almighty Tallest. She could never understand what was demanded of him. He had certain expectations and responsibilities he had to fulfill and they went beyond any feelings or demands she had. She was an Earthling and the planet was primitive, unexploited and reclusive in the galactic community. She was being bossy and preachy and that was something he couldn't tolerate. There was no way that she was better than him. She had no room to tell him how to play his role or do his job.

Purple huffed softly. His eyes shut and he shook his head. Of course, he was reminded of the fear in her eyes when he lunged at her. He didn't even know what happened. He just acted on pure, wild instinct. There was no thought, only action. The look on her face was something he'd never forget. He petrified her.

"Great…" he muttered lowly.

The Tallest pulled his knees up to his chest, wanting to conserve body warmth. He was starting to feel vulnerable again. He really hated feeling that way. It was very unbecoming and inappropriate.

How could he ignore that heated exchange? She was angry and so was he. He was no stranger to spats. He and Red got into plenty of them over the years. They scratched, punched, kicked and bit each other. But in the end, they would get over it and move on. They were still thick as thieves and they continued to be there for one another. They were friends from the very beginning of their lives and they would remain so until the end of their lifecycles. Purple knew nothing could ever drive a wedge between them. He knew he would always have Red on his side.

But this felt far different. The aftermath of this fight settled in a way that he didn't like. He tried to remember if Red and Pax ever got into any fights. Most of the time, he ignored their doings, feeling annoyed and confused more than anything else. But as far as he recalled, he never recalled his co-Tallest and his female getting into an argument. He remembered them going on little dates, the food sharing and the effect she had on Red. As far as he noticed, their relationship seemed sweet and uncomplicated. But that was from what he had only seen with his own eyes…

He wasn't sure if this feeling was normal or not, he had nothing to compare. But what he did know was that he still cared for and loved this Earthling woman. She offended and angered him but Purple desired her despite it. He was very much attached to her and he didn't want to let her go. He wanted nothing but good times to happen.

A despondent sigh came from him. Gradually, more and more of that anger was transforming and becoming something else. Purple retreated further into the blanket that covered him. He shrunk into it, trying to imagine it was her around him instead. He could smell the faintest trace of you on it when you briefly held it but it wasn't enough for him.

He wanted his babe.

But fate had other things in mind. While he thought he was prepared and poised and could still act like an elite soldier despite his current reencoding as a Tallest, he did the exact opposite. He was weak and soft and he was captured. Purple felt ashamed to his core. Even though Tallest Hrawl was a Tallest, he still was a hardened and deadly warrior. The leader from centuries ago personally led many of his soldiers into battle and fought alongside them. Eventually, his old age ultimately doomed him and caused him to be killed on the field of battle, Hrawl was both warrior and leader and was fully able to juggle between both roles with frightening ease, something that Purple envied. He was a disgrace and he was sure that if the all the past Tallest could look at him now, they'd all be pointing and laughing at him.

Not only that, he was separated from her. She was out of his reach. He could not hold her or kiss her.

Now he was exposed and at a new low. He had no power and he had no allies. The Armada was still far away and it would take some time to rejoin with the gargantuan fleet.

Purple's head snapped towards the opposite end of the brig when he heard footsteps. His antennae twitched and swiveled, zeroing in on the direction where this person was coming from. Their footfalls sounded quiet and soft, causing him to suspect something. His eyes peered into the dim condition and he spotted a small shape approaching his cell.

The Tallest was not happy to receive this visitor. He snarled loudly, baring his teeth and warning the tiny Irken to go away. His noise increased when the pirate kept coming.

"Get out of here!" Purple demanded. "I don't want to see anyone!"

He glowered at the figure of Bob who stood behind the bars on the opposite end. The smaller alien looked uncomfortable with the feral-sounding snarling but he chose to ignore it.

"I came here to check up on you and bring you food," Bob announced.

"I'm great!" Purple snapped, sarcasm dripping in his voice. "And I don't want any food, you probably poisoned it!"

"You're worth more to me alive than dead, I wouldn't do that."

"…shove it through the bars and hit the road, pipsqueak."

Bob paused, watching Purple for a few moments. It looked like the Tallest was seated on the floor and wasn't going to suddenly spring forth. Purple was surprisingly fast and Bob had no intention to lose a limb while trying to shove the bag of chips through the bars.

He opened the bag, knowing that Purple would be unable to do it on his own since his hands were still bound. Then he hastily pushed it through the bars and set it on the ground, leaving it for the irritated prisoner.

"Okay, now get out of here," the larger Irken demanded.

"You know, the Human cares a lot about you," Bob stated.

"I told you to leave me alone, Bob! I didn't really have the best day today, y'know?!"

"You had this coming, you big bully."

"Whatever! I don't need to listen to you criticize and attack me too! You're just salty and jealous you're not tall and you never will be!"

"That's fine. Being tall is overrated anyway. Tall Irken are usually jerks anyway."

"Wake up, Bobby, tallness is everything!"

"You know… The more I look at you and hear you, the more I actually feel sorry for you. You're kinda pathetic."

"You wouldn't be saying that if I wasn't in these cuffs, you ugly, little goblin!"

Bob was unfazed. He took more than his share of physical and verbal abuse over the years so it hardly bugged him anymore. He no longer looked at Purple as his leader anymore anyway. He was just this loud, foul, greedy, beast that spewed venom everywhere.

"You know, I know you're a defective just like me," Bob pressed.

"I'm starting to realize that each new generation is getting more and more defective," Purple bitterly retorted. "Maybe the Control Brains are getting too old and aren't running at optimum conditions anymore. That would explain why they just so happened to make so many rebels like you and Lyn."

"I left because of you and Tallest Red, you jerk. There was no point in me returning if you were just going to try to kill me again."

"It was a smart move on your part, Bobby."

"You really are the reason why you're having this problem."

"You're a service drone! You're a flipping table! What the heck could you possibly know about any of this?!"

"I have common sense."

Purple rolled his eyes and huffed dismissively. He couldn't believe he was really having this conversation with his former servant.

"The Earthling is very upset," Bob persisted, refusing to back down. He wasn't afraid of the much larger Irken. "I think you really hurt her feelings."

"Bobby, Human females can be very weird and strange creatures," Purple scoffed. "They bleed when they don't find a male to fertilize them. They have built-in pillows on their chests. They're some of the freakiest aliens in the universe. Besides, did she think about my feelings when she yelled at me?!"

"Yeah and you're in love with that alien. Did you stop and think that maybe she's mad at you because she's concerned about you?"

"That's ridiculous! There's nothing for her to be worried about."

"She doesn't want you to get killed because of your own stupidity."

"At least I'm taller and more handsome than you are."

Bob groaned in frustration. He slapped a hand against his face and sighed quietly. For a few moments, he collected himself. Then he pulled his hand away and decided to try again.

"She wants to free you," Bob reiterated. "She doesn't want anything bad to happen to you. And I suggest you should let her help you because you're the one in cuffs."

"I can take care of myself just fine!" the Tallest lashed out.

"Yeah, that's why you're in cuffs and I had to open a bag of chips for you."

Purple growled softly but didn't say anything else. He languished in his corner, still reluctant to approach and get any closer to his keeper. This was embarrassing and undignified. Of course he had to be at the mercy of one of the smaller members of Irken society.

"I know it wasn't pretty," the pirate leader remarked, "but she did because she thought it was necessary. Listen to me, you big idiot."

"Don't talk to me like that!" Purple thundered. "You turned her against me!"

"I didn't! She just has a brain and she realizes why this war started. The mad Invader rebelled against you and Red and she killed one of the Irken in line for the role of Tallest. She inspired other, unhappy folks and they joined her and the Resisty. They left because of how horrible you are and they were sick of being culled due to their defects and how they were treated!"

"You think I make the rules?" He smiled cruelly at the other Irken. "I carry them out. We all have our jobs to do, service drone. The Control Brains gave us our occupations and we have to do them. I was designated Tallest and you became a living table."

"Tallest Miyuki would've been ashamed of you."

He thought he was mishearing things at first. The brig became stiflingly silent again as Purple took a few seconds to fully absorb the words Bob just let out of his mouth. His eyes were wide and his mouth was agape.

Then that shock spontaneously combusted. Rising swiftly from its ashes was unbridled rage.

Bob could hardly prepare himself as Purple promptly leapt forth from the cold shadows. He tossed himself against the bars, the metal rods ringing loudly as he collided violently against them. The pirate could hear the cuffs release their static charge, trying to subdue their prisoner as he attempted to free himself again. Yet it hardly registered to him, his anger overriding his pain as he flailed and threw himself against the bars.

"Take that back!" Purple roared. "How dare you!"

Bob shrunk back at the rabid display and fished for the cuff's remote in his pocket. His hands shook as he watched Purple react explosively. He had no idea he would get this response out of him.

Fearing that he might actually break out and go on a rampage, Bob turned the setting up higher. Then he firmly pressed the tip of his thumb down on the button.

When that happened, he could see the pain arch across the Tallest's face. The hum of the electricity grew louder and Purple attempted to fight through the agony. His body twitched and seized but he still tried to pry the bars open through sheer force and willpower.

"Cut it out, you're hurting yourself!" Bob warned.

He was very reluctant to turn it up to its highest setting. If he used that setting for a prolonged time, it could very well fry the prisoner's PAK. That could irreparably damage him and prove to be fatal in the worst case. As much as Bob disliked Purple, he didn't want to personally kill him. Not only that, the Tallest owed him monies.

Bob turned the setting up a hair higher but didn't go to the maximum level. He'd only do that if he actually broke out. Then he pressed the button again.

Purple's spine arched and he let out a pained shriek. This time, it caused him to stop. He sunk to his knees and heaved heavily. His head rested against the bars and he kept it low, trying to combat the lingering sensation that ran through his entire body. His muscles twitched uncomfortably and he fought the urge to fall over onto his side.

"I will be watching your growth with great interest, little one. Already, you and your batch mate are showing certain, promising qualities. I may very well be addressing a future Tallest. It is a pure delight to meet you, smeet."

He would never forget those words. It was the first time he met Almighty Tallest Miyuki. She was so tall and beautiful and he was totally enchanted by her. Her blue eyes were soft but they looked so deep. Her voice was quiet but when she spoke, her words held weight and wisdom. Her posture was relaxed but she radiated strength and grace.

She inspired him. He knew he was taller than his peers right from the start and he knew he had the advantage from an early age. When he met her for the first time, it was powerful and unforgettable. She amazed him and he was in awe over her. And at the back of his mind, he wanted to grow up to be like her.

As he matured, he continued to hold her in the utmost respect and admiration. But one thing that he never understood about Almighty Tallest Miyuki was her leniency and respect towards all Irken. She did not care if they were tall or small. She did not seem to agree with some of the age-old traditions. And he remembered he heard a rumor or two that she was secretly in love with a smaller alien. That was never proven and he dismissed that as slanderous gossip.

And when she suddenly perished, it shocked and saddened many Irken, him included. But he promised himself he'd always remember her and make her proud if he ever did achieve the position of Tallest. He'd utilize everything she created and consolidated during her reign and launch the Empire into another golden age and expansion. Miyuki focused on maintaining the Empire the two Tallest before her helped to create. Purple and Red were both determined to push its boundaries. They were young, inexperienced, restless and reckless.

It was a deadly combination.

To hear Bob judge him like that was something he couldn't abide by.

"You didn't know her," he hissed through the aftershocks of pain. "You didn't know Miyuki like I did!"

"I know enough of her," Bob countered. "She never treated people like me the way you treat them. Miyuki was stern but fair. She sought to improve the lives of her people. She didn't conquer a lot of planets during her reign and she forged alliances with other races."

"But you don't know her! She watched Red and I grow up! We met her a few times! She praised us and she couldn't believe how tall we were! She fully expected us to be the new Tallest eventually! And look…she was right…"

"The only similarity you share with Miyuki is that the both of you held the same position. That's it."

"Shut up!"

"I really, really hope the Earthling can get through to you and make you see. I know it's not working with me. She's really the only true friend and ally you have besides Red. She wants what's best for you because she cares. She doesn't want you to get killed. What you gotta know is you have way more enemies than friends. You do realize that, don't you?"

Purple grimaced. He leered at Bob, his orbs locked onto the smaller Irken's. As much as he wanted to pull him through the bars and throttle him, he knew that was only a dream. All he could do was glower at him, his upper lip slightly curled, displaying his teeth.

"I suggest you listen to her," the former service drone encouraged. "You're lucky. Your defect might actually save you if you listen to it."

"Get out," Purple said lowly. "Let me lay here and eat my chips in peace."

"I've disobeyed the Control Brains. You can too if you have the spooch for it."

Bob turned and walked away. Purple gave him no answer but he didn't linger around to wait for one. He did his duty and he'd leave it at that. There was only so much that he could do with a creature so stubborn and dense.

Purple watched him leave. When he saw he was at a far enough distance, he scooted to the chips Bob left for him. He grunted as he gently bit on the bag to pull it closer to his lap. He positioned it upright and lowered his head. An annoyed growl came from him as he stuck his face into the bag and extended his tongue out, grasping onto some of the chips and pulling them into his mouth. Luckily, Irken tongues were long and some of them had prehensile capabilities, depending on the individual.

He ate his meal, still silently fuming from Bob's words. And as he devoured the chips, some stray tears fell from his eyes. The cocktail of emotions roiled inside him and he angrily ate away. He had to make sense of everything and get everything straight. He couldn't let this go on anymore.

He needed to talk to his Earthling.

Chapter Text

Chapter 28 Target Acquired

(one day later)

You felt like a tortoise trying to eat a piece of watermelon. Your motions were smooth, almost methodical as you ate your breakfast. Slowly, you nibbled away at the bagel you prepared. You still weren't hungry but you forced yourself to have something just so you could get some nutrients into your body. As far as you were concerned, you didn't want to end up passing out because you hadn't eaten anything in a day. You couldn't let the stress and emotional exhaustion control you too much.

Baby and Bambi faces were lowered and in their bowls, enjoying their own breakfast alongside you. You could hear the sound of their food being moved and stirred as they fed. They happily ate away, content to feed and enjoy the quiet.

Although half of the bagel sat in your stomach, it felt like it was ball made of lead instead. It felt heavy inside of you and you felt somewhat nauseous. But you ignored it, knowing it was a psychosomatic thing more than anything else. You needed to eat something to keep your strength up. Despite you feeling numb and drained, it wasn't an excuse.

While your body felt spread thin and worn, your mind was restless. You already made up your mind some hours earlier what you were going to do and say. As far as you were concerned, you weren't going to let this persist. You wanted this done and you were going to address this promptly like a mature and responsible adult. Not only that, you didn't plan on staying with these pirates forever. You still wanted Bob to give you his blessing to leave with Purple.

You had a lot of work to do. And from what it looked like you weren't going home anytime soon. No, you were stuck out here and you weren't returning to Earth until you were done. The longer and harder you thought about it, the more you saw that the biggest problem was out there, not back on your homeworld. This was also an issue you knew you couldn't really run away from. It would follow you. So, the only real option was to deal with it directly…

You forced yourself to eat the rest of the toasted bread. It still sat like a dumbbell in your belly but you disregarded it. You glanced over to your animals, seeing them happily eating away. They were completely content and ignorant. Sometimes, you envied them. Sometimes, it seemed like a great life to eat, poop and be spoiled all day. Sometimes, humanity was overrated and it seemed like animal kind had it all right.

Yeah, no. You didn't feel like flinging poop in a dominance display and chewing off your rival's face. Maybe humanity wasn't that bad.

You got up from the table and dug through one of the cabinets in the pantry. You pulled out a bone for your dog and a straw mat for the rabbit. Then you set the items by their bowls, leaving their toys for them. They were still invested in their food.

"Be good, I'll be back soon enough," you said.

Then you blinked when you remembered something. You couldn't run off just yet.

You turned to the fridge and dug around inside of it. You pulled out a can of grape soda and a caramel filled chocolate bar. A tiny smile broke across your face and you tenderly stuffed the candy bar into your pocket. Meanwhile you cradled the can in your hand, being sure to not dent it or end up shaking it too much.

Then you made your way to the front of the ship. The door to the living space closed behind you, softly locking and keeping the pets safe and contained while you'd be absent. You doubted anyone would try to board it while you were gone but you didn't want to chance it.

You entered the cockpit and the windshield retracted as you approached it. Carefully, you clambered out and looked around the ship's hangar bay your own shuttle sat in. You were a bit surprised to see it was totally devoid of life. You would've assumed there'd be a pirate around watching things. But there was absolutely no one around.

As you wandered around the deserted hangar, you spotted something mounted on a wall on the far side. You walked briskly over to the object, trying to identify it as you drew closer. It was latched to the wall and as you got closer, you could see a soft, steady, red glow on it. It also had a lens of sort fixed on it.

Maybe it was some piece of surveillance tech? A security camera maybe? You decided to take a chance.

You waved at the device that you assumed was a camera. If it was actually one, maybe someone would see you. And if that was the case, they'd go out to meet up with you. It sure beat wandering around aimlessly and getting yourself inadvertently getting yourself sucked out an airlock.

(…)

Luckily, you didn't need to wait for too much longer. Only about ten minutes went by and you saw a small shape coming down the stairwell that led into the hangar. Instantly, you recognized the being and felt relief crash over you. At least you'd be dealing with him. He was just the one you wanted to see.

"So, nice to see you rejoin the world of the living," Bob teased.

"If you say so." You gave him a halfhearted smile. Lightly, you toyed with the aluminum tab on the top of the soda can. "I came out because I need to wrap some things up. I can't afford to procrastinate."

"I check up on him a few hours after that fight. He wasn't in a good mood at all."

"I thought as much. Have you checked up on him lately?"

"I sent Lenny to check him out. Apparently, he's sleeping like a smeet. This was about two hours ago."

You were happy Purple managed to get some rest. Somehow, despite all that turmoil, you were able to fall asleep too. You slept awhile and weren't disturbed at all but when you woke up, you were still tired. Ah, the joys of anxiety and being emotionally exhausted.

"You need to go talk to him, don't you?" he guessed.

"Yeah," you nodded. "This needs to be done."

"Look if anyone can talk some sense into that thick skull of his, it'll be you or Tallest Red. I tried earlier. But it wasn't exactly…ideal."

"He owes you money, that's part of the reason why right there. He's very stubborn and I already know I have my hands full with him." You sighed. "I know what I signed up for and I'm not running off. That's way past the point of no return."

"I don't know how you can do it, all I know is that you gotta."

"I know, the struggle is real. I also want to go into his cell."

Bob blinked, belying his surprise.

"You want to go in there with him?" he said. "Human, he's dangerous even with his hands bound and most his PAK features disabled. He charged you and he charged me too. He's captured and is in a really bad mood."

"He responds well to closeness and affection," you argued. "If I go in there with him and get close to him, I think it'll help to calm him down a bit."

"You…cuddled with him?"

Bob looked at you like you suddenly sprouted a third eye in the middle of your forehead. His expression was skeptical and confused as if he could hardly believe it.

"Yeah," you retorted, totally serious about the whole proposal. "Let me in there with him and I'm pretty sure I can get him to settle down. I'll talk some sense into him and I'll try my hardest to make some progress."

"If he decides to gnaw your arms off, I'm not going in there after you," Bob deadpanned.

"Fair enough." You huffed quietly. "Look, you'll have to trust me on this. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing. He does love comfort and closeness."

"…what exactly happened on Earth with him?"

You didn't like the accusing tone in his voice. You had a strong feeling what he was possibly implying and you weren't going to humor that. Oh, no, you weren't going there. That was way off limits. Zim had already made wild conclusions and assumptions, you didn't need Bob thinking the same. And you didn't need it snowballing to a point where everyone in the universe thought you were doing the sideways tango with him. That wasn't their fucking business to begin with.

"I fell for your Tallest, that's what," you said, crossing your arms. "Now, please, Bob… Can I see him?"

An impish snicker came from the small pirate captain and he motioned for you to follow him. You blushed and rolled your eyes. You trailed after Bob, trying to mentally prepare yourself for what laid ahead.

This was going to be fun.

(…)

Even from afar, you could hear the snoring. It echoed in the cramped and cold brig, bouncing off the walls and pounding against your eardrums. You heard him snore before but this was a bit much. Wow, he was sawing some serious logs. Good God. He could wake the space dead. Purple must've been exhausted if he was snoring this loudly.

You felt a little bad with having to wake him up but this needed done. You were determined and you couldn't let this persist any longer than it already had. The longer you waited, the more impatient and anxious you were becoming. Delays couldn't be afforded any longer in your eyes.

When you finally made it to the front of the cell, Bob unlocked the door. He stood aside, letting you enter. The little Irken had a piteous look on his face and you could tell he was certain you weren't going to make it out alive. It was nice to know that he had no faith in you.

Fearlessly, you stepped into the cell. As soon as you did that, Bob quietly shut it behind you. You even heard him lock it. When you heard that click, it made you the slightest bit paranoid. His measures were not assuring at all.

Purple was curled up on the floor, the blanket draped over his long, lanky frame. You could see the tips of his boots sticking out and he was laying on his side, his back facing you. There was a bag of chips next to him and honestly, it almost looked like he attempted to eat that as well. The bag was totally emptied and you swore he didn't even leave a single crumb behind. You were happy you brought the candy and the soda, clearly he was hungry and with how he ate so much, you had a feeling he'd be famished once he woke up.

Time to wake up Sleeping Beauty.

"Purple," you said, softly but loud enough. "Wake up."

He replied to you in the form of a nasally snore. You'd have to do way better than that.

"Purple," you repeated, this time louder and more urgent. "Get up, I have to talk to you. Come on, up and at'em."

He shifted and stopped snoring. He rolled over onto his stomach and settled once he got comfortable again. Once more, he resumed his snoring, this time seeming impossibly louder than before.

Then you suddenly had an idea. You gripped the can of soda with one hand. Then with your other hand, you lifted the tab, unsealing the drink. The sound of it opening and the bubbling of the carbonated beverage rang out in the cell.

As soon as the can was opened up, you could see his antennae twitch to life. They almost seemed to swivel to the direction where you were standing. Then he turned his head towards you, his eyes heavy and addled with sleep but he was very much awake now.

"You thirsty?" you asked.

A huge yawn came from him and he blinked a few times. The Tallest rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself up. The smell of the grape soda called to him, reminding him that he didn't have any drink for over a day. He was parched.

But that was suddenly forgotten about as he woke up more. His large eyes focused on you, almost looking as if he trying to determine if you were an illusion or not. Purple tilted his head to the side but made no further move.

"Is that you?" he asked.

"Yeah," you replied. You laughed quietly. "Of course, you only woke up when I opened a can of soda. You're too predictable, hon."

It seemed like he wanted to smile but stopped himself. He held his ground, staring back at you. it almost looked like he had no idea what to do or how to even address you.

"Here," you said, handing him the drink. "I figured you might need this."

He looked like he was about to accept it but then he halted. Purple suddenly looked embarrassed and sighed quietly.

"I need help…" he said sheepishly.

Oh, duh. He was still restrained.

You knelt down beside him and held it up to his mouth, offering it to him. His cheeks turned dark green, betraying his feelings and feeling humiliated with being unable to even do this simple task. Although he asked for help, he still hesitated. He was reluctant for a few seconds before he obligingly opened his mouth.

Carefully, you tilted the can and poured some into his mouth, trying to not spill any of it on him or cause him to choke. He patiently remained seated with his mouth open, allowing you to assist him.

When his mouth was filled, you pulled it back, letting him swallow what he had.

"Just pour it all in, I'm so thirsty," he said.

You nodded and brought the can back up to his mouth again. His jaws parted and you steadily poured the contents into his maw. He drank from it, gulping the sugary drink when he accumulated enough in his mouth. You only did as he requested, emptying the whole thing.

When it was finished, you dug through your pocket, pulling out the candy bar you brought with you. He eyed you curiously at first and his antennae swiveled at the sound of the crinkling wrapper. There was a small smile on his face when he realized you brought him more food.

Wordlessly, you opened it up and pulled the wrapper halfway down the bar. You kept your fingers away as much as you could, knowing how aggressively he could eat at times. You preferred to keep your body as intact as possible. You had your fingers and you were reluctant to part with them.

Purple lowered his head and was mindful as he took a bite out of the candy bar. He kept his teeth away from your fingers and was ginger as he bit down. You noticed that a barely audible tittering came from him as he consumed this portion.

When he was busying chewing his mouthful, you removed the rest of the wrapper and stuffed it back into your pocket. He devoured half of it and now he had to consume the other half of it. You held it out to him, waiting for the Tallest to finish with his first piece.

As soon as he swallowed it, he leaned forward and lowered his head to the piece you held between the tip of your pointer finger and thumb. A tiny gasp escaped from you when you saw his tongue curl around the candy bar, not realizing until then that it was prehensile. When he reaffirmed his grip on it, you released the candy bar and he retracted his tongue back into his mouth.

"…that's interesting," you noted, your eyes slightly widened.

"Some Irken have that ability and others don't," he said with his mouth full. "Red can't do it."

He finished off what was in his mouth and he leaned in close to you again. The tip of his tongue darted out and tickled your cheek. You giggled and flinched at it, caught off guard by the affectionate gesture.

"Thanks," he said, his voice soft and genuine. "Thanks for thinking about me."

"I figured you'd be hungry and thirsty," you answered. You sighed and hung your head for a second. You couldn't ignore the elephant in the room. "Purple, we gotta chat."

"I know. I can't run from that. Let's get to it, huh?"

"Yeah…"

You sat next to him, knowing it needed done and yet you were unable where to begin or how to even initiate it. You were terrified of regressing into another outburst or him becoming aggressive in return. But this desperately needed done. The both of you needed to be on the same page or share some sort of mutual understanding if you were to leave and be on your merry way. Progress was paramount.

"Babe, let me start first," he said.

"Okay," you nodded, giving him the opportunity.

If he knew how to start it off first, you weren't going to hold back. You'd follow suit and see what to do from there.

"I'm sorry I scared you," he said. "I was so angry, I didn't think. I just lunged and it happened out of nowhere." There was desperation and fear in his tone. "I don't want you to be afraid of me, okay? I want you to feel safe when you're with me. And oh, did I mess up. I messed up big time… I don't, no, I wouldn't hurt you. I know I wouldn't, honestly!"

"I forgive you, it's alright," you said, resting a hand on his shoulder. "When you do things in anger, a lot of times, you regret it. During fits of strong feelings, actions override thoughts."

"I wouldn't know what I would do if I did end up hurting you." He turned his head away, looking ashamed and haunted. "You may think I look like a twig but I know I'm a lot stronger than I look. You saw what I did to your friend in that arm wrestling competition."

That was true. Effortlessly, he defeated Zack and most likely caused him to sprain his arm. Purple was way more powerful than you ever gauged. Beneath that seemingly frail and pathetic frame, he was insanely strong. Perhaps it was an Irken biological quirk, you had no idea. Maybe their muscles were constructed differently than that of an Earthling's and that gave them an edge.

"I don't even want to think about it," he said, finally facing you again. "It scares me. You're so small and fragile compared to me and I have to remember that!"

"It's alright," you soothed him, rubbing his shoulder. You couldn't let him get upset and wound up. "Let's not talk about it then, okay? We have other things to discuss."

"I know." He sighed and leaned into your touch. "I should be mad. I should be really, really mad at you. And I was for a little bit… But after awhile, I wasn't anymore."

"Purple, I was wrong for jumping down your throat and attacking you the way I did. I should've had more patience and class. I was so angry and frustrated and I didn't think too. It was all action and no thinking. It was in the heat of the moment. I have to apologize for my part."

"And I'll happily forgive you, babe." He pressed a tiny kiss to your cheek and then nuzzled it. "I don't want any bad feelings between us. I love you so much and I want us to always be happy."

"That was another reason why I went off the rails like I did. I was so angry because I care. I wanted you to open your eyes and see. I wanted you to realize."

"I…I do understand."

You weren't expecting to hear that. You eyed him inquisitively, wondering if he really knew what he was talking about or if he was just being emotional and somber about the ordeal.

"There were many, many Tallest before Red and I took control," he explained. "We inherited a lot of problems our predecessors never fixed or just slapped a band-aid on and walked away. When we took control, the Empire was already huge to begin with. We already had sworn enemies that resisted us for countless years before I was even hatched."

"So, you and Red were the figurative straw that broke the camel's back," you said.

"Yeah, I guess so." He shrugged and looked meek. "Each and every Tallest has to do their job. Actually, each and every Irken has to do it. Every single one of us has a job we have to complete. If we don't, then we are questioned. We're evaluated and if we neglect it enough, we are called before the Control Brains who judge us and if it's bad enough, we are terminated. We, uh, we die."

"Hon, what is your official job description as an Almighty Tallest?"

He looked like he didn't know how to answer that question for a few seconds. It was almost like he blanked out. But he cleared his throat and nodded.

"Well, we have to expand the Empire and make it better and greater than it was before," he answered. "We have to inspire and command our subjects. We have to be in control. We have to enforce law and order. And we must obey the Control Brains."

"And if you don't obey them, then you risk being killed."

"Yes." He swallowed hard. "A long, long time ago, like at the near beginning of the Empire, there was an Almighty Tallest who was sentenced to extermination by the Brains. His name was Murgo. He actually sabotaged the efforts of his own Armada and that cost the lives of fifteen million Irken in the process. He spared dozens of worlds from conquest and destruction. He loved other species more than his own. Tallest Murgo truly wanted to destroy the Control Brains himself and he no longer wanted to take orders from them."

"And what did they do to him?"

"They tortured him. They made him endure horrible agony and when they were finished with him, they removed his PAK and then destroyed it before his eyes. You see, an Irken can survive only ten minutes without their PAK. They die if they cannot get it back on in enough time. It's a nasty way to go. Even Red and I never did something like that to someone."

You made a strong, mental note about it. These Control Brains really were as nefarious and ominous as you assumed that they were in the beginning. Your hunch seemed valid. Maybe Minwa's theory was correct after all.

"Because Tallest Murgo's story happened thousands of years ago, no one knows about it," Purple resumed. "The Control Brains choose what is allowed in their archives of data. They deemed his memory unfit to be imparted onto future generations." He laughed harshly and briefly. "But do you know what they really did with his history? They give each new Tallest the memories of Murgo. They give them his memories so the new Tallest knows what will happen to them if they should step out of line too often. It's a warning to us. We Tallest have to obey them or we end up like him. Yes, we're tall and we're destined to rule… But if you piss the Brains off enough, they'll find the next tallest Irken to replace you."

Jesus Christ. You literally had no idea how to react to what he told you. It was so sinister and jarring. You wanted to comfort and talk to him but you were dumbed into silence.

He was forbidden to disobey them. He may have been an emperor but these Control Brains were gods. And what the hell was an emperor to a god? A peon. An insect. And most importantly; temporary and fleeting. A footnote.

You understood his motives more clearly now.

"Don't get me wrong though," Purple said, picking up where he left off. "I like being Tallest. I like unlimited snacks, I like blowing stuff up and I like doing whatever I want…for the most part."

"Let me ask you this question." The thought never really occurred to you until now. "How old are you exactly?"

"I'm still young! I have many centuries to go before I kick the bucket!"

…they could actually live for centuries? Why didn't you have the foresight to think or suspect it earlier? Did it go over your head?

"But if you want a more specific answer, I guess I'm equal to a young adult Earthling," he said, shrugging. "If I had to pick an Earth age? I dunno, like twenty-two? And you wanna know another cool thing about still being young for my species?" He smirked smugly. "I still can grow! I can get even taller! Most of my growing is done but you get the idea. I might finally beat Red once and for all in the height race!"

Well, shit. That explained a lot. He really was a young buck. You were young yourself but heck, you sure were way more mature than he was. Maybe it took them forever to reach mental maturity? Somehow, you were a bit doubtful of that though.

"And these Control Brains tell you to mistreat your smaller subjects?" you pried, wanting to find out more about the matter and get back on track. "Did they tell you to do that?"

"It's been that way forever… Like, probably even before the days of the Control Brains themselves and we know almost nothing about those times. The taller you are, the better you are. Every Irken knows this. It's part of who we are. It's an hierarchy that we are always aware of and can never forget."

That belief was stubbornly engrained in him. Somehow, you'd try to work with him on that. Baby steps, baby steps…

This influx of information was massively enlightening and made this situation that much clearer to you. The Tallest were in control but it was the Control Brains who ultimately called the shots. They were the ones who kept reins on the Tallest and it was the Tallest who managed their subordinates. The chain of command was obvious to you and you couldn't look away from it. There was no way you could turn a blind eye to this. To do so was just stupidity in its rawest form.

It was obvious to you at this point what needed to be done. Minwa's insight was invaluable. Her information was the same as yours except she saw the Irken race differently than you did. Because of that, now you understood. Now you realized what you had to do.

In order to save others, you had to save him. And in order to save him, you had to destroy…them.

And by God, you were going to see this through until the bitter end.

"Purple," you said quietly, "thank you for letting me in on this."

"I hope you understand how we work a bit more now," he said. "It's just…it's what we do. We can't stop it."

"Listen to me, you have to trust me. I am doing this with both of us in mind. I'm negotiating with these pirates. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Now, Bob has such animosity towards you because you ripped him off and tried to kill him. You're his prisoner. I think that if you pay him what you owe him, he'll be more understanding and likely to let us go. I made that offer because I was sure it would help us. Plus, it's the decent and right thing to do. You're a ruler, you have to cut your people some slack."

Purple whined quietly. He looked annoyed and reluctant with having to give Bob his six million monies. You could tell he really, really didn't want to cough it up.

"Do I really have to?" he asked, trying to see if there was another way around it.

"Yes," you said sternly. "Don't be an asshole, okay? I know you told me more about your Empire but you have to be easier on your subjects." You paused. "Look, the reason why so many Irken turned against you is because of how you treated them. Sure, you said a lot of them are defective…maybe it made them more liable to turn against you. It could be that or it could be that mainly you were cruel and unfair to them. Look what they did. You fled to Earth and hid in my house because they were after you. They want you dead. Don't you think you should try to correct some of those mistakes? Wouldn't it make you look better to your subjects if you took them back and said sorry?"

"It's not that easy!" He exhaled sharply and lowered his head. "My pride is at stake. We Tallest are supposed to be ruthless and not have any regrets. We are supposed to be in control and weed out any dissension or traitors. It's our or my duty."

"Listen to me, you're not totally ruthless. You can be very sweet and silly and I like that about you. There's nothing wrong with nurturing that side." You shook your head. "I know I'm not an Irken. I'm not a Tallest like you. I won't ever be in your shoes but I do know my dad and grandpa raised me right. And I'm glad I paid attention in history class when I was in school to realize how empires fall and how rulers who fuck up get bit in the ass by karma." You set both of your hands on his shoulders, coercing him to look back at you and not look away. "Purple, if you continue to keep doing what you're doing, you're gonna get yourself tossed into an early grave. You are going to die. I don't want you to die especially if you can prevent it."

His face softened up. His eyes looked glassy and it appeared as if he was about to burst into tears. The Tallest's form sagged and he seemed to shrink back into the blanket that was still thrown over him.

"It's okay!" you said, trying to calm him. You kissed him softly and cupped his face in your hands. "Purple, hon, I'm being so honest because I love you. I really do. I want to help and I want to protect you. I want you to be the best ruler you can possibly be. I'd be so proud…"

"You really do love me?" he asked, his voice cracking.

"Yes, big guy. Yes, I do. When you love someone enough, sometimes you have to be completely honest because you want the best for them. Sometimes, it hurts but it's always for the best. I'm not doing it to be mean or to be a bossy bitch. Do you understand me?"

"I do." He nodded and sniffled quietly. "I'm still kinda having a hard time understanding love and what it is exactly. But it feels good. And I'm happy I can figure it out as I stick with you. It's nice… I like it. I don't get what's so wrong about it and why it's considered a defect."

"Don't hurt yourself thinking about it, honey. Just let it go and enjoy it."

"Babe, can you promise me something?"

"And what's that?"

His cheeks darkened again. A boyish, shy smile shone on his face. He inched closer to you, huddling up to your side and craving closeness.

"You know, I realize I'm pretty lucky," he said. "I got attached to you fast. I learned a lot and I'm glad I did. Earth ain't a bad planet at all. It has interesting creatures and delicious snacks. It gave me my woman. You're…" His complexion darkened further. "Uh, you're really beautiful, smart and strong. And you may not realize it, but I think you're a warrior too. I want you with me until the end. I can't and refuse to imagine myself without you. I know I got attached to you fast but I can’t help it. So…uh…" He said your name. A nervous smile broke across his face. "Will you always stay with me? Will you help me? Will you love me no matter what? Because I promise I will do the same for you."

…what was this? Was this somehow an Irken version of a marriage proposal? They didn't even have a concept of that sort of sacrament and yet here he was, spouting these words. He was getting emotional, choked up and was clearly wearing his heart on his sleeve.

But with the way you saw it, you've been living together for over four months and the both of you went through weird shit most average couples hadn't experienced or dreamed of for that matter. And you were fully locked and loaded, poised to strike at the very heart and mind of Irken civilization. You were going to bring it down to save him. And you knew you might end up dying in the process. As corny as it was, it was because you loved him.

As far as you were concerned, you rode together. He was asking you to stay with him until the end, no matter what it might hold.

Ride together and die together. You could do that for him. It was the least you could do for the man you loved.

"I'm not going anywhere," you vowed. "I won't abandon you. When you're weak and vulnerable, I'll protect you. I'll be a shoulder for you to cry on. I'll help you with whatever you need. And I will love you always. Everything I do is because I love you, Purple. So, please, don't forget that, okay?"

His lips quivered and his eyes leaked. The Tallest nodded his head and huddled against you, resorting to this since his arms were still tied back.

You wrapped your arms around him, embracing him and cementing the closeness that he craved. His cheek nuzzled into your hair, enjoying the softness and warmth of it. You laughed quietly when you heard him purr gently in your ear.

"I'll never get sick of your scent," he sighed happily. "Or your face or your voice. You gorgeous Earthling, what have you done to me?"

"I could ask you the same thing, you handsome Irken," you laughed, not caring that you sounded cheesy.

"I never would've guessed I'd actually fall in love. And I especially never would've even dreamed I'd fall for an alien."

"Likewise, big guy."

"Oh, brother."

Purple actually snarled when Bob finally chimed in. The purring instantly died and was replaced by this feral, angry noise. The Tallest's frame arched over you, almost looking as if he was trying to pin you under him or hide you from the interloper. Clearly, he wanted the small Irken to hit the road.

"I'm not trying to steal your female from you, lover boy," Bob rolled his eyes. "As much as your conversation was mushy and sappy, I just wanted to talk with the both of you."

For a moment, you did totally forget that Bob was nearby. It was actually kind of embarrassing. Chances are, he probably heard the whole thing and now you had to live with that knowledge.

"Yes, what's up?" you said, poking your head past his torso to address the other Irken.

"My six million monies," he stated. "Am I getting them?"

"Purple…" There was a warning in your voice as you redirected your attention to the Tallest. "Come on, it's only fair. Give him what's rightfully his."

Purple narrowed his eyes. His gaze was sharp and scrutinizing as he glared at Bob. He still remained sprawled over you, his instinct to conceal and protect you from a rival overriding him. He no longer snarled or growled but he didn't blink. The Tallest only continued to glower at his former servant, feeling peeved and intruded upon.

"Remember what we talked about," you reminded him. "Please, listen to me."

Purple snorted. He sat back again, no longer arching over you. The look on his face was sour and contemptuous.

"Fine," he announced, sounding peeved and inconvenienced. "I'll give you your monies, Bobby."

Stars seemed to shine in Bob's eyes when Purple made his decision. He squeaked happily and he folded his hands together. The former service drone was clearly very pleased with this turn of events.

"The only reason why I'm doing this is because my female wants me to," he said. "That and I'm rich and I won't miss it."

"Thank you, Purple," you smiled, feeling relieved and grateful. It was progress. You had to chip away at that stubbornness bit by bit. "That's the way."

You snuck a kiss to his cheek. That familiar, dark green blush spread across his cheeks swiftly. He looked timid as his face burned and you could feel him snuffle into your hair briefly.

"He'll pay up as soon as he gets back to the Armada," you said. "That's okay?"

"Yes, that's fine," Bob agreed. "But we need proof that you'll actually keep your word."

Alrighty then. It is what it is.

"How about one of his credit cards?" you offered.

Purple's eyes widened owlishly at your offer. He blinked rapidly, wondering if he actually heard you correctly. Did that really just come out of your mouth?

"Uh…" he said. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"How many cards do you have?" you demanded.

"I forget, maybe four?"

"Then you won't miss one of them."

"Babe, come on!"

"Purple, how long do you plan on being prisoner? Swallow your pride and make some compromises! You're filthy rich according to what you say, you can give them one of your cards for now and then the six million monies you owe Bob later."

He knew what you were up to. But his pride and greed begged to differ on it. Purple hated having to cave in to your proposals, wanting it to be his way or the highway. However, he was in no position to negotiate too much seeing how he was still at the mercy of the space pirates. Bob wanted what was owed to him and it made him seethe.

"And no betraying," you demanded. "Give him his money once we get to the Armada and leave them alone. This could've been a whole lot worse so let's be thankful, okay?"

He grumbled grumpily. But he knew it was all he could do. At least you were negotiating with the brigands and they were willing to accept your terms under specific conditions.

"A credit card?" Bob grinned widely. "I get to use my former Tallest's credit card? I can buy whatever I want?"

"And it won't be cancelled," you smiled. "It'll be yours."

"Hey, you got a deal!"

Thank God. Finally. Finally, you could be on your way. The quicker Purple got back to the Massive and to Red's side, the safer he'd be…in theory anyway. That was the plan and you didn't want to deviate from it.

"We've got to discuss some things and make some final preparations before you go," Bob continued. "Human, I just need to borrow you for a few minutes. Is that alright?"

Now Purple was feeling really ticked. He huffed irately but scooted away from you, silently giving you permission to go. As much as he wanted you at his side and not with the enemy, he knew he'd have to let you wrap things up. Apparently, you knew what you were doing and he was going to leave it in your hands. He refused to parlay with his jailer. He'd accept these terms just so he could leave but he still hated Bob's guts.

"It shouldn't take too long," you assured your significant other. "Hang tight, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he huffed. "Wrap it up so we can get out of here. I want my arms loose and I want to be on my way."

You didn't take it personally. He'd be in a better mood once he was unshackled and free to go. Honestly, you'd probably cranky if you were in his position too.

You got up and made your way to the cell door. Bob unlocked it and pushed it open, letting to out. Once you stepped out, he closed and locked it again, still taking no chances with his dangerous and powerful prisoner.

"So, credit card for insurance purposes," he reiterated, "and six million monies will be sent to me when you make it to the Armada." The two of you walked away from the cell. "And you promise to not turn on us?"

"I will do everything in my power to prevent it," you swore. "I can try my hardest to keep a leash on Purple. But with Red, I may not be able to help you there. I hope you can understand. He won't like me at all and I know for sure he won't listen to anything I have to say. I'm dreading meeting him actually."

"I guess that's fair enough. You mind if I do something else to make sure you keep your word?"

It almost offended you but you kept your mouth shut. You couldn't afford to ruin it all.

"What is it?" you asked, curious but secretly loathing it.

"Mind if I put a tracking device on your ship?" he answered. "Just so we can keep tabs on you and see when you actually rejoin the Armada."

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine. I guess there's no harm in that."

Bob nodded, pleased with your answer.

“Y'know, listening to that conversation really helped convince me," he picked up.

"Lemme guess, you heard everything?" you said, taking a deep breath.

"Yup."

"Ah. Of course."

"I think you got what it takes, Human. You have a hold on him." He spoke in a lower tone, to avoid Purple listening in. "What're you gonna do when you get there?"

You had your primary objective now. But you were reluctant to disclose it to anyone, especially to an Irken. If the Control Brains were destroyed and if they controlled the creation of new Irken, then it would certainly mean extinction for them. But you needed to delve into the matter more. You needed to see if they truly would die out if the Brains were removed from the picture. You wanted to try to avoid wiping out Purple's kind as much as possible. It would be a low and vicious blow. As dangerous and as problematic as the Irken race was, you didn't want to doom them. Who were you to decide who'd live and who'd die? Last time you checked, you didn't have a god complex.

"I'm gonna try to fix things," you said. Technically, that was true and it wasn't a lie. But you wouldn't tell him how you were going to do it. "Don't know how but I plan on it."

"If you managed to convince him to give me my monies and a card of his, I'm very optimistic," Bob grinned.

"I mean, you heard what went on…" You sighed. "Especially with that info about Tallest Murgo?"

"Never heard of him before. I… I never would've guessed that a Tallest would defy the commands of the Brains. No wonder why I never heard of him. You see, those deemed to be unfit or defective are not treated kindly…" He became quiet for a few seconds before resuming. "The data and memories of those undesirables are erased and aren't allowed into the collective data that is downloaded into the PAKs of each newborn smeet. They didn't want folks like me to know about the rebel Tallest. They might've destroyed most of his data but they kept some of it for the future Tallest. And it's just like Purple said, he got Murgo's memories as a warning."

"Yeah… It's pretty twisted. So those that are erased are pretty much forgotten about?"

"Yup. Of course, I remember things about Tallest Hrawl and Gavi. They were some of the great conquering rulers we had and some of the more recent ones too. So, naturally, the Control Brains gave us that knowledge." He hummed quietly. "But anyway, let's wrap up our business and get you ready to leave! I trust you, Human!

They chose what to bestow to these future generations. There was no telling how many defective Irken existed over the years. And the proof of their lives was cast aside and deleted, to never be remembered and doomed to dismal obscurity.

These PAKs and these Control Brains… This was a very messy and perilously interwoven matter.

Chapter Text

Chapter 29 Treachery

(…)

Only a day ago, you thought that this moment would've never been possible. But somehow, you pulled it off. Maybe it was because the space pirate captain felt bad for you. Maybe he really did have some faith in you despite you being unsure how to go about your exact objective. Regardless, you made progress and you were about to be released. That was all that mattered.

This was going to be an easy, smooth transition. It was going to go according to plan, goddammit. You wouldn't settle for anything less. This had…n,o this would go perfectly. The bargain would be fulfilled.

The hangar bay was crammed full of the crew. They would standby, making sure everything would go well. If Purple decided to attack, they would swamp him and he would be hopelessly outgunned. They had their strength in numbers and they would be armed; in theory, the cranky Tallest would comply and not try anything sly or stupid. That was what you and Bob hoped for anyway.

He would be released from his shackles. Then he would give over his credit card and then you would depart. It was going to be simple and easy.

Honestly, you were a bit proud of yourself. Your negotiating skills were pretty much never utilized until this opportunity and you managed it well enough. It wasn't a bad start at all. But you also hoped you wouldn't be having to negotiate the whole time while you were in space. The end result was satisfying but by God the whole process was stressful. It paid off to be a reasonable, levelheaded Earthling, you supposed. But in reality, it was more than likely pure dumb luck. And the promise of money.

Purple still was unhappy. He disliked having to be coerced into fulfilling his former servant's debt. He also wasn't enthused with having to cough up one of his credit cards and having it be at the mercy of this crew of rogues and brigands. But he would only cooperate because he was restrained and he knew it would get him out of here. Ideally, he'd like to turn around once he made it back to the Armada and vaporize Bob and his crew. But he knew to do so would incite the wrath and avid displeasure of the Earthling he loved.

The sooner he got back to the Massive, the better. He needed to physically see and talk to Red. He was more than aware of the titanic mess everything was in but he was ready to sit down and address it all. One Tallest could take care of an empire. But two was obviously better than one. He was going to establish law, order and justice was going to be carried out. With them being reunited and more determined than ever, they was nothing they wouldn't be able to accomplish.

First, he was going to weed out the spies and moles that were in the Armada. He knew they were all over the place. He and Red were going to purge them. The internal threat needed to be dealt with and then he wanted to turn his gaze to the wretched Resisty. Personally, Purple believed the many Irken around them were bigger threats than the Resisty itself. Yes, many of these traitors were allied with the opposition. But they were on the inside and fed information to the enemy. Because of that, they needed to be terminated as soon as possible. Without them, the Resisty would be at a disadvantage. And the less information they had, they better. It would be that much easier for him to crush them.

Eventually, Lard Nar was going to get what was coming to him. He was going to be utterly defeated and be made an example of. He smirked inwardly, thinking of the ways he could cruelly humiliate and then ultimately extinguish the upstart Vortian. His enemies would get the message one way or another.

And of course, there was the unstable Irken herself. He was so enraged that she managed to cause this rift and create such chaos and rebellion. She spat in his face and challenged his authority. She vowed to dethrone and slay him. She turned so many of his subjects against him and his co-Tallest. In his eyes, she was just as or even worse than Lard Nar himself.

But she was also far different than the Resisty leader. Purple heard his share of tales regarding them and their respective…policies. Where Lard Nar was more lenient and merciful, she was filled with cold hatred and steely ambitions. When Lard Nar would capture and question enemies, he would sometimes reason with them and urge them to join him. In contrast, Lyn would often torture her captives, extract her information and then eliminated them once she got what she wanted. She did offer them chances to recruit but any who resisted were promptly killed. She was no stranger to murder and she was certainly not hesitant to take a life.

But the thing that angered and stuck with him the most was what Lyn did to Red. Purple was indifferent to Pax. But he was very partial to his friend. The fact that Lyn hurt Red by butchering Pax was enough to make Purple hate her guts.

"Purple, she's gone! She's really gone! She's gone and she's never coming back!"

Purple wasn't going to ever forget that moment. That was burned into his memory. Aside from when they were first hatched and that time where he had to physically guard an injured Red during their Elite days, he had never seen him so vulnerable and exposed. More than anything else, it was disturbing.

The anger was first and foremost. And when Red was in the middle of utterly destroying the room he was in, he began to cry. As his claws scraped at the walls and he yelled and screamed until his voice was raw, the Almighty Tallest slowly became undone.

At first, he wanted to stop him. But Purple let it go. He needed to release his rage and take it out on something. He wouldn't get in the way of allowing Red to vent his overpowering feelings. It was pointless and Purple also didn't want to risk getting disemboweled in the process. In his fury, he ripped a control console out of the floor and threw it clear across the other side of the room. The console weighed well over five hundred pounds.

The anger was primal and raw. It was almost unbecoming. It was something Purple had never seen before and a part of him hoped he'd never witness it again. Wasn't their race supposed to be above such animalistic desires and sensations? Weren't they supposed to be refined, pure and efficient? And wasn't an Almighty Tallest supposed to be the epitome of Irken achievement, idealism, and power?

But in that moment, Red was none of those things. He was broken and hurt. He was acting like a baser, savage lifeform. It was like he had turned into something else.

"Purple, this hurts so much! How do I make it stop?!"

Purple couldn't answer. He had nothing to say or offer. All he was capable of doing was standing off to the side and watching his co-Tallest spiral. In his eyes, this was perhaps more disturbing than the video footage Lyn sent that caused Red to react like this.

Eventually, Red collapsed. He was curled up on the floor, his long, lanky form shuddering as he sobbed loudly. Around him sat the gutted and gouged room he took his anger out on. Things were overturned, objects were smashed and metal surfaces bore deep gouges and slashes.

Red was definitely a defective. There was no doubt about it at that instant. He was acting like this because he lost someone he shouldn't have been attracted to in the first place. And when that happened, he lost control.

Purple thought that perhaps he was the true Almighty Tallest out of the two of them. He didn't care about anyone. He certainly wouldn't cry like a scared smeet. He only cared about himself and what he was going to eat later that day.

But at the same time, he knew that wasn't entirely true.

"Red, you gotta try to calm down, okay? Come on!"

"You saw what she did to her! There's hardly anything left… Even her PAK was destroyed. None of her memories can be downloaded or recovered. She wanted to erase her!"

"Get up! No one can see you like this! You're a Tallest! Act like one!"

Red didn't cooperate. Purple had to be the bigger Irken, figuratively speaking. He knelt down by his side and pulled him up off the floor. His co-Tallest's form was totally limp and lax. He even refused to stand up on his own. It was possible he even couldn't in that dark moment.

"Red, we have to move on. Lyn is encouraging treason! She's calling for the end of our reign! We can't let her get away with this! Come on, I'm not gonna coddle and carry you!"

But he knew he was better off speaking to a dumb, unfeeling wall. Red's head was not in the game. He was consumed by grief and nothing else mattered or registered to him. He was incapacitated and overwhelmed. The former ace pilot was helpless and unable to perform his duties.

Suddenly, he felt Red react. His friend's arms latched around him and he held him closely. The grief stricken Tallest buried his face into Purple's shoulder and wept pitifully.

Purple's whole body went rigid. He was frozen and unsure of how to react or what to even think. Truthfully, it freaked him out. He never saw something like this before and he was totally foreign to a thing of this nature. No amount of Elite training could ever prepare him for something like this.

And it was very strange but he knew he had to try to help Red somehow. He had to do something but he didn't know what. He was in pain and he had to try to protect him as he did in the past. He couldn't abandon him or let him down. It wouldn't feel right if he did.

Purple's arms slowly came up and encircled around Red's form. He hugged and supported him, letting him know he wouldn't let him collapse. He had him. He wasn't going to forsake him.

"It's okay, Red. I'm…I'm sorry. I know you cared a lot about Pax. Look, you can take a break. Let me take control for a bit while you try to calm down. You can't do your duties with you acting like this."

"Okay…thanks, Purple."

It was the least he could do for him. Besides, it was the most logical. Red was in no condition to command and rule, he was far too unstable and unhinged. That was another advantage about having two Tallest in this predicament. While Purple at times liked to shirk off some of his duties and instead leech off of the benefits of his position, during this tumultuous episode, he stepped up. If Red wasn't going to do it, then he would. And he sure as Hell wasn't going to let someone else try to steal his power from him.

"Hey, Purple!"

Abruptly, he was jarred from his recollections. He blinked and turned to you.

"Did you say something?" he asked.

You must've said his name three times before. He was zoning out hardcore and it began to worry you. It also wasn't a good sign in front of all the pirates.

"I just wanted to know if you were okay," you said. "You seem really…glum."

"I'll feel better when I finally get these cuffs off," he complained with a sneer. "I'm surprised my arms still have feeling after that outrage."

"To be fair, you're a threat," Bob added.

"Well, not as much as we thought," Minwa snickered.

Purple only growled. You looped one of your arms around his, sticking close to him and silently reminding him to tone down the hostility. You were still at the mercy of your host. The Tallest's anger and hunger for vengeance couldn't sully anything.

You walked past the throng of pirates. Many of them wore anger or confusion on their faces. Some of them weren't necessarily happy with the deal. You knew many of them wanted him dead or sell him off to the Resisty. From what Minwa told you, many of the crewmates were aliens from worlds the Irken Empire had purged. So, you could only imagine the fury some of them felt at the sight of letting the leader of that Empire go free. Perhaps they were being denied their justice.

You could also see and feel them glower at you. You knew a lot of them hated your guts. You were guilty by association. All you could do was hold your head up high and move on. They weren't going to be in your life forever and you hoped that if you were to ever be in their company again for whatever reason, it would be under kinder and easier terms. But the sooner you were out of their lives, the better it would be for all parties.

You could see their hands tighten around their weapons. You remained close to Purple, shrinking slightly against him. God, you hoped they wouldn't notice. You couldn't let them know you felt somewhat intimidated by their threatening, warning postures. They were doing their jobs but yeah… the thought that some of these angry, slighted pirates opening fire didn't sit well with you. You also hoped they wouldn't end up mutinying against Bob as soon as you left.

Purple's shuttle laid dead ahead. You just had to walk about a hundred or so more feet and you would be next to it.

You and Purple walked ahead while Bob and Minwa stood directly behind you. They would watch your backs as you made your way to your transport. These were necessary precautions and you'd let them exercise them. You couldn't let them feel threatened or wary or as if they couldn't trust you. Compliance was key.

You felt as if you could breathe easier once you made it to the vehicle's side. The windshield retracted as you drew closer.

"Now, we are in accord with our deal?" Bob asked.

"Yes," you answered.

"Tallest Purple? Are we on the same page?"

You could see the anger and annoyance burning in Purple's eyes. Oh, he just wanted to stomp on the tiny Irken and punt him into the frigid vacuum of space. He was silent for a few moments before he eventually answered.

"Yes," he said begrudgingly.

Bob was satisfied with that reply even though it was dripping with contempt. He turned to Minwa and nodded.

The young Yuti held onto the remote that controlled Purple's manacles. She pressed a button on it and there was a soft but audible "click" that sounded in the silent hangar.

The clatter of the cuffs falling onto the floor rang out. A smile shone on the Tallest's face and Purple let out a happy groan. He stretched his arms out and rolled his shoulders. He flexed and extended his limbs, eager to get them accustomed to moving again. This was something he very much was happy to experience again.

"Oh-ho, that is nice!" he purred. "Much better…"

"Okay, we did our part," Bob interrupted. "Now, please, do yours."

Purple rolled his eyes but he complied. He knew there was no way out of this and he didn't want to pull a stupid and fatal maneuver. A compartment in his PAK opened up and he reached around into the slot.

"You keep your credit card in your PAK?" you asked. You initially assumed he hid it somewhere in the ship.

"Guess it pays off to keep it close at least in this situation," he grumbled.

"Say, Purple, what's the limit on the card?" Bob asked almost too sweetly.

"Something like two hundred million monies or something like that, Bobby…" He was becoming increasingly annoyed.

"Maybe I could buy a planet!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever makes you happy."

"And once you return to the Armada, you'll give me my six million monies."

"Yes, yes, I will."

Finally, Purple plucked the plastic card out of his PAK. He held it between the tips of his fingers and lowered his arm, handing it to Bob. Earlier, he was half tempted to just flick it to the former table drone but decided against it. He knew he had to tread carefully. His pride was damaged and he was left humiliated from this incident. But he'd move on in literal moments.

Bob's eyes widened gleefully and he greedily yanked it out of Purple's grasp. He could only begin to imagine the things he could purchase with all these monies. Insane financial power was at his disposal now.

"Thank you for your business!" he said glowingly. "Can we shake on it?"

"I didn't agree to that part," Purple scoffed dismissively. "Goodbye and good riddance."

He gave Bob the cold shoulder and stepped into his ship. Purple sat at the controls and presented his eye to the scanner, bypassing the security protocol and starting up the ignition sequence.

"I'll shake on it," you said, giving him a smile.

You knelt down and took the Irken's hand. He vigorously shook your hand and nodded happily. His antennae twitched animatedly and an enormous grin shone on his face.

"Thanks!" he said. "I'm glad we came to this deal!"

"I'm happy we were able to organize something," you replied, genuinely pleased with the results. "I admit, I was kinda scared at first."

"Hey, good luck too. You're gonna need it."

"Thank you… I know I'm gonna have a lot on my plate."

"I'm pretty sure you're know what you're doing. See you around, Human!"

Bob waved the credit card around, beckoning his minions to him.

"C'mon, guys!" he addressed each and every member of his crew. "It's time to make lists of things we want and vote on it!"

Despite the previous anger and displeasure that was so clear on these individuals' faces, they suddenly seemed eager and thrilled with this newfound prospect. They erupted into cheers and they herded off with their captain as he ran out of the hangar. The throng exited, making their way to the mess hall to begin their voting and deciding.

Only Minwa stayed behind. Her eyes were pinned on you, focusing on you and nothing else.

"You're going through with it, aren't you?" she asked, stepping closer.

"Yes," you confirmed. "There's no way I'm running away."

She was keeping it ambiguous and so would you. Purple was still close by and you couldn't let him know what you were planning.

"I wish you luck," Minwa nodded her head at you. "Watch your back, Human. You will be monitored."

"Babe, hurry up!" Purple encouraged. "I'm gonna go make some nachos while the ship warms up. You want anything?"

"Uh, no thank you!" you replied. "I'll be joining you in a minute!"

You turned around briefly, watching him get up from the pilot's seat and make his way into the living quarters of the shuttle. It seemed like he wasn't concerned at all about you talking with Minwa. You only hoped it wouldn't come around and bite you in the ass.

"You have to be careful, I mean it," the Yuti pirate annunciated. She crept in closer and spoke in a low voice.

"Trust me, I know," you promised.

"Purple may force his subjects to accept you but that doesn't mean that any of them will actually trust you. They believe other species are below them. They won't be happy with your presence. And you especially have to watch out for Red. He will do everything in his power to make you hate your time on the Massive. He may even try to kill you."

That was a bridge you were going to have to cross eventually. You heard plenty about Purple's co-Tallest and honestly, you were absolutely dreading the inevitable. It was more than possible that he'd be bitter, hateful and distrusting of you. And according to Purple, he was still grieving over the death of the woman he cherished. You knew you were most likely stepping into a minefield. You might as well have been.

"I'll try to win his trust and let him know I'm not a threat," you stated. "I-I'm not a threat though… But I know that if I want to fix things, I have to attack the root of the whole problem."

"Observe everything," Minwa urged, "including the Irken you come across. You're heading into deep and dangerous territory. Constantly plan and have back-up plans as well. Be brave, Human, but also do whatever is necessary to survive and achieve your goal. If you do, you will succeed in this mission."

"I plan on winning. I don't think the Control Brains even realize that their constant warmongering and consuming has a price. It's happening right now."

"Succeed or die trying."

It looked like it was probably going to end up that way. You knew that the consequences would be fatal if anyone suspected of what you were doing. And from what Purple told you about Tallest Murgo, the true, artificial leaders were capable of killing someone themselves. The thought disturbed you but you knew you had to carry on. If servants of the Brains didn't get their hands on you first, it was likely these evil supercomputers would do you in. They'd eradicate you before you could pull the plug on them.

"Whichever comes first," you huffed. You gave the young alien a small smile. "Take care of yourself, kid. Maybe I'll see you around. You never know."

"If I do see you again, I'll be happy," Minwa stated. “Hopefully we'll all be happy in the long run."

"I hope so. Goodbye."

"Farewell, Human."

She made no gesture to shake a hand or anything else. Minwa held her ground for a few more seconds before she turned around. The avian creature then leapt up into the air and flapped her wings. She flew out of the hangar and followed the path her fellow pirates took moments earlier.

Soon enough, she was gone.

"Did you forget something?"

"What?" you asked, replying a little too quickly to him.

"You're just standing there." Purple blinked and tilted his head to the side. "You okay? You were talking to that little ball of feathers."

"I kinda feel bad for her. She lost her mother to Lyn and her whole planet for that matter."

Purple was quiet for a few seconds. It looked like he was thinking something over. It almost seemed like he was considering what he'd say next.

"That makes three of us because I don't have a mother either," he said. "Irken don't have parents or families. We're just made and that's it." He shrugged. "I guess it's weird for me to hear about other aliens talking about theirs."

"Well, isn't Red like family to you?" you asked, intrigued by his words. "You've been with him since the beginning. You grew up together and you've been friends forever. Heck, the two of you almost sound like and act like brothers from what you've told me."

He hesitated. He looked uncomfortable for the briefest second and folded his hands together. Then a sigh came from him.

"I guess," he admitted. "I mean, I know I'm a defective and I can't hide it. But I can get away with it because my defect isn't that bad and I'm a Tallest. I suppose he's…family to me." He gave you an innocent smile. "Family isn't that bad to have as I think about it. I'd like to think I'm part of yours. Because you're definitely part of mine."

You weren't ready for the rosiness and warmth that encapsulated your entire face. Undoubtedly, you were probably as red as red could be. And of course, you had no control over that. Curse human bodily sensations and reactions.

"That's nice," you said, shuffling in place. "You are obviously part of mine, Purple."

The look he had on his face was one of endearment and tenderness. There was no doubt in your mind that he was into you. He gazed back at you so sweetly and truly. Sometimes he was hard to gauge. But during times like these, he was so easy to decipher. You saw right through him and you knew he loved you.

Then he extended a hand to you.

"C'mon," he encouraged. "We gotta get back on track with the Massive. And I'd like to share a big bowl of nachos with you. You gotta be hungry!"

Almost as if on cue, your stomach started to growl. Now that this ordeal with the pirates was done, you felt some of that anxiety and stress melt off of you. At this point, you felt like you could eat again without feeling like you were going to hurl. Now you had a chance to breathe and relax.

"You've got an appetite," he grinned. He grasped onto your hand and tenderly pulled you up and into the ship. "I don't know about you but I plan on eating snacks and cuddling you!"

The windshield closed up when you stepped in. He pulled you into his arms and embraced you, holding you close to him. Purple nuzzled his face into your hair and allowed his hands to trace the length of your spine. A happy sigh came from him and he was clearly in a far better mood.

This…this was nice. You'd happily enjoy this sweet moment. And yeah, the allure of sharing nachos with him was all too tempting.

"Thanks for getting us out of that mess," he said.

You weren't expecting those words to come out of his mouth. It was a surprise but you'd happily accept his gratitude as well. There was no way you were throwing that out the window.

"No problem," you chuckled lightly. "Glad I could do it. It was a first for sure. Do I want to do it again though? Preferably, no."

"I'm happy that you did so well with it," the Tallest continued. He blushed. "I shouldn't have made you do it all by yourself. I should've helped and been willing to talk too. I mean, I'm supposed to be the ruler after all and…"

You smiled and pressed your mouth atop his. Instantly, he shut up and was distracted by the kiss. He rumbled quietly and returned the gesture to you.

It felt as if he was melting like hot butter against you for a second before he scooped you up into his arms. He then deepened the kiss, his mouth pressing back against yours forcefully. A small growl came from him and he held you closer.

But before it could go further, he suddenly stopped. The Irken leader wore a triumphant, smug grin and he winked at you playfully. He still kept you close, keeping you at eye level with him.

"It's nice to have use of my arms again," he said.

He lightly tossed you up into the air but caught you. A surprised squeal came from you as he did that and you clung to him when he reaffirmed his grip on you.

"Don't do it again," you said, your voice bristling with tension.

"Oh, come on, I'd catch you!" he teased. "I'm strong, I won't drop you!"

"You're like, what, close to nine feet tall? If you drop me, that's a long drop! I might break something!"

"I wish I was nine feet tall!" He sat down in the driver's seat and set you in his lap. "Last time I was measured, I was eight feet and five inches tall. Identical to Red! But that was a few years ago! I have to get measured again when I get back to the Massive."

"Uh, yeah, the point is, you're a colossus. Please don't toss me unless if it's onto a soft surface."

"Got it." He chuckled and pressed a few buttons on the console. Then he placed his hands on the steering mechanism. "Alright, let's ditch this dingy pirate ship!"

Carefully he maneuvered the vessel, guiding it out of the far larger pirate ship that the modified spittle runner was previously imprisoned in. On the far side of the hangar, there was the transparent shield that separated the interior from the vacuum of space. Purple sped up as he drew closer to the shield, eager to leave and be on his way.

Luckily, the pass was flawless and without hindrance. Purple's transport effortlessly slid through the shield and into the black expanse. You were finally free to go and there was no stopping you.

One problem was behind. Now you had a number of others before you waiting to be solved further down the road…

(the Massive)

"My Tallest, Grand Prefect Megumi is the greatest judge and law specialist of the whole Irken Empire aside from yourself and the Control Brains. She is also one of the ten tallest Irken alive. To hastily execute her might not be so wise. Sir, I know you are eager to weed out traitors and distribute justice but I urge you to wait. Allow my team and I to investigate further. Perhaps she is guilty and if that is the case, we will happily charge her with treason. But she may also be innocent and was merely requesting a slight alteration of…"

Red slammed an open palm down on the table before him. He hit the surface with such force that his cup shook. The Tallest glowered warningly at the image of the constable he was speaking to on the display screen. His fuse was already short enough and with this law enforcement drone prattling on about a suspicious, high ranking government official's dubious case, it was already annoying him to no end.

He didn't care who it was. He didn't care if they were tall or small, a service drone or an Invader… Anyone who stood against him was an enemy of his. And by extension, an enemy of the Empire. They were a threat to his progress and his life as well. Aberrations and obstructions weren't allowed to persist.

He had a job to do. And he refused to let anyone get in the way. He was the Almighty Tallest. The only beings he answered to were the Control Brains and he knew they would certainly approve of his actions and policies.

"Grand Prefect Megumi was recorded voicing her displeasure towards tradition," Red snarled, his tone low and dangerous. "She proposed that positions of power should be more open to smaller individuals. She said qualifications and experience truly matter and that height is a 'menial bonus'. That is extremely suspicious and it screams 'traitor' to me!"

"My Tallest, the Grand Prefect is very old," the blue-eyed male Irken retorted. He was trying everything in his power to reason with his leader. "I believe records indicate she is the current, longest living Irken. She's nine hundred thirty-seven years old and she has many years of experience and wisdom. You know how older individuals are when they get close to their expiration. Tallest Gavi was the same way. They become slightly insane."

"You're trying to cover for her. Constable Tilt, are you perhaps in cahoots with her?" Red raised his voice. "Perhaps you'd like to share something with me?! We are at war! I was almost assassinated as soon as I returned from my exile! People want me dead! The enemy is in the form of the Resisty and our own people! I will not tolerate anyone who stands in the way of my rule and encourages…" He struggled to find the right word, his anger blinding him. "…trouble! This is not okay!"

"My Tallest, I give you my word!" He was visibly trembling and yet he didn't fumble over his words. "My team and I will monitor the Grand Prefect very closely. I will keep you updated on the matter and I will carry out justice as necessary, sir. I give you my word."

Red sighed heavily. He was more than familiar with Grand Prefect Megumi. In fact, one of the many roles of her office was the removal of the thumbs of each new Tallest. Although she relinquished the thumbs of Miyuki and Spork during their initiation, she allowed Purple and Red to keep theirs. She was poised to remove them from the two, young, Tallest but stopped just as she was about to sever them. She only gave a wheezy, gravelly laugh and proclaimed it was a "stupid" tradition then carelessly tossed the knife aside. Megumi let them go and advised them to hide their thumbs instead. Red was thankful for her change of heart as he was actually rather frightened to lose his thumbs and he knew Purple was in accord with that concept. The three of them promised to keep it a secret between themselves.

She was also older than Miyuki herself and she served during the entire duration of that late Tallest's reign. Megumi initially began her career under Tallest Gavi's leadership. She continued to hold her office into his and Purple's reign as well. They left her alone, more impressed by her career and longevity than anything else.

Typically, he trusted and looked up to the older individuals. It was one of the reasons why he kept Rarl Kove in his entourage. Red respected the experience that these individuals had accumulated over the years. That experience was something he could use and rely on. He trusted and respected them far more than his younger, shorter peers. There was a reason why these older, wiser Irken lived as long as they did and Red was reluctant to interfere with that. He truly respected those that managed to make it into their advanced age. They didn't acquire that milestone by being stupid.

He was aware that older Irken suffered deficiencies and shortcomings. Their filters were nonexistent as they aged and they acted out of what was typically expected or accepted for that matter. They sometimes said or did things that were labeled as crazy or was frowned upon. Constable Tilt did make a reasonable case as much as he didn't want to admit it.

She reached such an old age and he supposed he did owe her a favor. She spared their thumbs and so he would forgive her for her ramblings. Red was reluctant to execute her. If he could avoid it, he would.

He was always so furious anymore as well. He couldn't let it control him too much. If he did, he might end up making a fatal mistake. That was something he couldn't afford. Things were already complicated and slippery.

Not only that, executing the oldest Irken alive would most likely enrage many of his people. Megumi was also popular with the general population of Irk. Although he was Tallest and the most venerated and envied individual amongst his people, he knew he wasn't immune. He was no stranger to backlash and her killing might encourage more of his subjects to rise against him.

"I'll trust your judgment, Constable Tilt," Red relented. "But you must keep her under close surveillance and do whatever is necessary. If she condemns herself too much and if her threat is too obvious, then justice and security comes first. The Grand Prefect might be the ambassador of the Control Brains to our people but she is not immune to the very laws she upholds and guards."

"Very well, my Tallest," Tilt nodded. He looked visibly relieved and a smile was on his face. "I will keep in touch with you. Thank you very much, sir."

Red said nothing else and the screen turned to static. Honestly, he was happy he was done talking for now. He needed a moment of peace and quiet.

He picked up his drink and hastily gulped the rest of it down. This time, it wasn't soda. On this day, he decided to have something different. It was a golden, smooth, sweet, honey-like liquor and it warmed the pit of his spooch when it settled in.

Then he collapsed back onto the plush, velvety sofa behind him. His shape sagged and he closed his eyes. The feeling of the couch behind him encourage him to sprawl out and take a nap. It almost felt like it was drawing him into its cushiony embrace and he was all too willing to heed its call. The sweet alcoholic beverage in his spooch further soothed him, filling him with warmth and comfort.

Since he returned to the Massive, there was no time for sleep. He would take small naps that lasted three hours at most but they were nothing truly rejuvenating. While an Irken could do without sleep for some time thanks to their PAK, enough stress and strife could drain them and coerce them to sleep more. But with everything going on and making him so paranoid, Red found it difficult to have a reprieving, refreshing sleep.

But this drink was working. It worked on him and he felt wearier. A lazy smile formed on his scarred face. It was going on exactly as he hoped. Maybe he'd remain knocked out for a day. That'd be great…

But of course not.

A sharp knocking on the door to his chambers sounded out. His eyes snapped open and Red was filled with an unholy rage. Whoever was on the other side of that door, he was going to tear them to pieces with his bare hands.

"Go away!" he bellowed. "Don't bug me unless if it's a real emergency!"

"My Tallest!" the voice on the other side of the door implored. "You must remember we have a meeting right now! Imperial Announcer Voce is here with me. This was scheduled, sir. He travelled all the way from Irk to meet with you and conduct an interview with you."

It was Rarl Kove. Red sighed loudly and punched one of the pillows. Then he bit into it, trying to vent his anger and compose himself before he'd address his guests. He snarled through the cushion and dug his claws into it, stopping just short of ripping it in half and throwing its feathery innards everywhere.

After he had his mini temper tantrum, he took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. He stood up and made his way over to the door. He slammed his hand on the control panel a little too roughly, disabling the locking mechanism and allowing the guests in.

He beheld the familiar stature and face of his Grand Advisor. Next to Rarl Kove, however, stood the tall, richly garbed and helmeted figure of the Imperial Announcer.

"My Tallest!" the Announcer grinned hugely. "It is such a joy to see you alive and well! I've been looking forward to meeting you again for some time!"

Imperial Announcer Voce was a tall, somewhat imposing figure but in truth, most of the bulk and mass of his shape came from the grand and luxurious, red cloak he always donned. He was idolized and fawned over by many Irken and his popularity was only a rung below that of the Tallest themselves. He was also one of the ten tallest Irken which further cemented his fame and magnetism. The Announcer also wielded charm and charisma and there were often rumors floating around that he had many admirers. Voce's voice was easily recognizable and no one could mistake it for belonging to someone else.

While Voce regarded him with respect and eagerness, Red was totally uninterested and bland. Dourly, he looked back at the Announcer. All he wanted was to take a nice, long nap and yet he had to deal with this helmeted celebrity.

Fine.

"That's right," Red finally acknowledged. "I did have an interview scheduled."

"Yes, my Tallest!" Voce pressed. He was relentlessly optimistic and seemed totally unfazed by Red's rudeness. "Many have heard of your much anticipated return and they would like to hear more from you! I think that a live, broadcasted interview would let the people on our homeplanet know you're alright and well. Besides, it'd be a great morale booster to everyone as a whole!"

"May we come in, sir?" Rarl Kove asked. "It might take awhile to discuss further details of the interview, plus I would like to speak with you about other matters once Announcer Voce is done."

Red's left eye twitched every so subtly. But he stood off to the side and allowed them entry. There was no point in delaying the inevitable. Not only that, giving his subjects a morale booster was always good. It made them do their jobs that much better and projecting himself as tall and unwavering might discourage some of the more cowardly, chicken-hearted rebels.

Rarl Kove and Voce strode into their Tallest's personal chambers. Behind them, it looked like a table was seemingly walking of its own accord. It followed the two taller Irken into the room.

Red bent down, his eyes espying the tiny service drone that bore the tabletop and the drinks atop it on her head. She quickly averted her gaze from him, trembling in apprehension as she did so. She scuttled along faster, trying to avoid her Tallest.

"Table-headed service drone, pick it up!" Rarl barked. "But don't you dare spill a drop of those drinks either!"

She was terrified, that much Red could tell. He could see stray beads of sweat drip down her face.

"Hold on!" Red ordered.

Voce and Rarl Kove stopped in their tracks, thinking he was addressing them. But they could see their leader's attention was solely devoted to the diminutive Irken.

"Turn and face your Tallest, drone," Red commanded.

The tiny green being turned on her heels and stood to attention. She was trembling so badly that the drinks balanced on her head shook in their vessels. She tried her best to look up at him but she ran the risk of spilling the beverages everywhere. The service drone clicked her heels together and wiggled her antennae at him the best she could.

"Why are you spooked, drone?" Red pressed.

"That is my personal table drone, my Tallest," the Grand Advisor explained. "She is just merely…"

"Do I look or sound like I'm talking to you?"

Rarl Kove swallowed roughly. He only nodded and zipped his mouth. All too easily, he could tell that his Tallest was in an unhappy mood. As far as he was concerned, he didn't want to press the matter further and have it blow up in his face.

Red redirected his attention to the tiny table drone. It was funny how he was far more interested in her instead of these two, taller creatures.

"Lemme ask you this first," he said. "What's your name?"

"Lime, my Tallest," she retorted. Her bright green eyes reflected fear in them and she still shook like a leaf in a windstorm.

"Tell me, Lime, why are you so afraid?"

"Because you are so tall, my Tallest! And I am afraid of messing up in your almighty presence, sir. This is the greatest honor I've ever had…" She gulped. "Aside from serving the Grand Advisor, of course, sir."

It was so strange. Red wasn't sure why this was happening or why he was feeling this way but he found himself sometimes softening up on females more so than others of his gender. It didn't matter what their height was either. Maybe it was because Pax was a female as well and it was just some strange quirk of the grieving process. He had no idea. He didn't like this habit of his but he could feel it bubbling to the surface as he interacted with Lime.

"I can understand your concern," Red finally said. "But you have nothing to worry about. Take a chill pill and you'll stop shaking. You've got one job and I'm sure you can do it, Drone Lime." He sighed and shook his head. "Here." He went over to the sofa and grabbed one of the pillows. Then he placed it on the ground. "Sit on this, maybe it'll stabilize you more. You look like you're gonna fall over."

Lime stared at her Tallest in disbelief. She was so stunned that she actually stopped shaking. Her eyes were nearly as large as moons.

"Thank you, my Tallest!" she exclaimed. She had to stop herself from jumping in joy. If she did, she would truly fail her task then. "Thank you so much! But it's so unnecessary, sir… You didn't have to."

"It's my command." Red folded his arms across his chest. "Take a seat."

"Yes, sir!"

She walked along more fluidly now but she still proceeded with calm and surety, still not wanting to risk sabotaging herself. Lime planted herself on the cushion, crossing her legs together and keeping her spine straight. Despite the plush object supporting her, there was still…remnants floating around in her.

"That was very generous of you, my Tallest," Rarl Kove noted. "Lime is undisciplined however and I recommend you not be too soft with her. She is sometimes clumsy and…"

"Do you want your drink spilled?" Red retorted.

"Well, no…"

"Then shut up."

While Rarl Kove witnessed the whole exchange, Imperial Announcer Voce was totally disconnected. Instead, he was far more taken by the décor and opulence of Red's personal chambers. He was busy poking and prodding at the satiny, exquisitely soft furniture and other fixtures that made up the "living room" area of the Tallest's quarters.

"You have fine taste, my Tallest!" Voce complimented.

Red only shrugged and rolled his eyes.

"Let's get down to business, gentlemen," he announced. "Take a seat."

Voce and Rarl sat down in two wing chairs that sat opposite from the sofa Red frequented. The Tallest took his own seat in return. Lime sat in between the two parties, sitting as still as she could while she performed her table duties.

"Previously, we have come to the agreement that a live interview would be for the benefit of all of Irk," Rarl cleared his throat. "The general populace hasn't seen you in over two years. The last time you were on our homeworld was shortly before the launching of Impending Doom Two and your loyal subjects have missed you terribly. They know of your return but to see you actually alive and kicking in a live broadcast would do them well. It would strengthen and encourage them."

"Yes, I agree," Red concurred. "They must know I am still in control and as their Tallest, I am active and ready to deal with any threats that may bother us, regardless if they come from the inside or outside."

"That's the spirit!" Voce smirked. "I know things are very tough right now for the Empire but looking strong in front of your subjects is absolutely necessary, sir. Some questions I will ask will be things along the lines of, 'what exactly happened to your exile?', 'how do you plan on dealing with suspected traitors?', and etcetera. You know, boring things like that! I'll also throw in some curve ball questions just so I can get a genuine reaction out of you. You know, ratings! Plus it makes you more…realistic!" He suddenly leaned in closer, finally noticing the scar on Red's face. "Good thing I brought my cosmetic crew with me just in case!"

"Oh, no, Announcer Voce. I want them to see my face. I want them to see what that Yuti chief did to it. I got that scar and I won that fight. I want them to know I am not to be trifled with and I deal with threats personally."

"Fair enough!" He folded his hands together. "May I ask you a question, my Tallest?"

"Yes."

"Have you had any contact with Tallest Purple lately? Do you even know if he's alive? I must ask you this question now because I will be using it for the interview. This is something the people must know."

Red knew this was going to be presented to him sooner or later. He dreaded having to answer it however. He was still exercising extreme precautions and he didn't tell a soul that he finally established contact with his co-Tallest sometime ago. He didn't want to risk endangering his life, fearing it may fall into the wrong, nefarious plans. If he could protect his friend in whatever way he could, he'd go through with it.

But he supposed that Irken people did need to know about the condition of their other Tallest. To keep them in the dark may sow suspicion. He needed them to know Purple was still fit and able to fulfill his duties once he returned.

"This information is confidential," Red stated lowly. "If anyone in this room divulges this information to anyone without my permission, you will sorely regret it. I have established contact with my co-Tallest awhile ago. He is alive and well."

"That is wonderful, sir!" the Announcer exclaimed. "Where has he been?"

"He's been drifting from planet to planet mainly, trying to keep low."

He wasn't going to divulge that Purple was previously on Earth. Red trusted his communications officers who were present when Zim contacted him. The data and footage from that transmission was erased in an effort to cover up on Purple's tracks. He hoped it worked.

"Did he mention any plans on rejoining the fleet anytime soon?" Rarl Kove wondered.

"That is his decision to make," Red answered.

Once Purple made it closer to the Massive, then he would make it known. While he was still far off and vulnerable, he wouldn't take that risk.

"He knows his duties and all he told me was that he'd return to them when the opportunity presented itself to him," Red further explained. "But he is alive and he has not abandoned his Empire."

"I certainly hope not, sir," Rarl commented. "I do not mean to disrespect him but he is the lazier and…least effective out of the two of you."

"He won't." Red frowned and growled out those words at the smaller Irken. "And I'm going to pretend I didn't hear those words, Grand Advisor. Tallest Purple simply has strengths in other areas. I suggest you keep your thoughts to yourself regarding him. If he were here right now, he'd probably be choking you with your own spooch." Red leaned back, smirking as he said that.

Rarl Kove only smiled back at his Tallest. He nodded in understanding. Then he reached over to the table surface, grabbing one of the drinks.

"I propose a toast," he said. "These drinks are compliments of Soda Master Bepzee. He prepared and gave them to us, my Tallest."

"Ooh, a toast," Voce purred. "What will we drink to?" He grasped the second drink on there. "To our success? To the destruction of the Resisty?"

"To our Almighty Tallest Red." Rarl raised his drink. "May he have a long and prosperous reign. May he destroy all the enemies of the Empire and bring justice and order to it."

Red grasped the remaining drink on the surface. The three dominant Irken raised their glasses to each other. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Lime was trembling again. But he chose to ignore it, believing she was merely acting nervous again.

He brought his drink up to his mouth, following the gesture as the Grand Advisor and Imperial Announcer downed their own. Of course he would drink to a toast dedicated to him.

But that didn't happen.

As he was about to part his mouth and take a swig, the drink was abruptly slapped out of his hand. Red sat stunned, his eyes huge and unable to process what just happened. It all happened so fast. He looked down at his lap, seeing Lime standing up in it, her form trembling and her hands clenched into tight fists.

Voce's mouth was agape and the liquid in his mouth ran out of it and onto the floor. A look of horror spread across of Rarl's face and the plastic cup in his hand became deformed as he applied pressure to it.

"What have you done?!" Rarl howled, his face almost turning red with rage. "Lime, you idiot! How dare you attack your Tallest like that! Are you defective?! I should have known or suspected something when I accepted you into my employ!"

"Shut up!" Lime barked back at him. "You talk to me like I'm the guilty one?!"

"Have you lost your mind?! You will be evaluated for this and if you are unlucky enough, you will be terminated!"

"My Tallest!" Lime spun around and set her hands on his shoulders, wanting him to focus on her and no one else. "Grand Advisor Rarl Kove poisoned your drink! I couldn't let him get away with it! He forced me to keep my mouth shut but I couldn't hold it in! I couldn't betray you! Soda Master Bepzee did prepare them for the meeting but my master snuck the poison in! He meant to frame him!"

"Outrageous! How dare you accuse me of such a thing, Lime! You have no reason or right to implicate me, your master!"

Voce suspiciously eyed the drink that was still in his hand. He frowned and although the upper half of his face was concealed by his helmet, his eyes were widened in disgust and fear. Very calmly, he set it on the floor, not wanting to even hold it anymore. He had drunken some of it and now he was becoming gripped with terror. As much as he struggled to remain calm, he was screaming on the inside. Had Rarl poisoned his cup as well?

Red looked to the direction where his drink landed. The plastic cup was opened and the contents were spilled all over the floor. As he looked closer, he could see that the carpet that had been soaked with the fluid was actually smoking. And it seemed as if the fibers were being dissolved.

The little service drone was telling the truth.

"I am loyal to you, my Tallest!" Lime said. "When you showed me that kindness, I knew I couldn't follow through with what my master tried to force me to do! He's a traitor!"

Oh, the evidence was clear. He couldn't ignore it. His own Grand Advisor tried to kill him.

"My Tallest, she's lying!" Rarl begged, his voice becoming frantic. "I have always served you loyally and truly! I ruled on your behalf! Didn't I do a good job as you even said?! I kept things together! Everything I did was in your name!"

Before Rarl could ramble on more, he was viciously tackled. Voce threw himself at the poisoner and pinned him to the ground, pulling his arms behind his back. The Announcer tugged harder on the arms, threatening to dislocate them if Rarl resisted further.

"Should we kill him right here, my Tallest?" Voce asked. "I think the evidence is clear!"

Lime finally slid out of her Tallest's lap. She stood aside and bowed her head to him, allowing him to get up.

"You betrayed me," Red said, with shock in his voice. "I trusted you! I always trusted you! And this is how you repay me! You served Miyuki for so long and you never did something like this… Why did you betray me?"

Rarl hissed in pain and rage. He was pinned and he knew he had no chance of fighting his way out of this. He was outnumbered and he knew he couldn't win this. His own servant turned against him.

"Because you're a spoiled, stupid brat!" he vented. "You always were, Red! You and Purple were obnoxious gremlins and I couldn't believe Miyuki was actually fond of you two! She always thought you'd turn out better! She was wrong! I was almost hoping you'd never return from your exile! Then at least a more competent and smarter Tallest would be picked!"

"Guards!" Red called. "Come in here and seize the Grand Advisor!"

He was furious and hurt. He couldn't believe Rarl Kove would actually resort to something like this. Honestly, he didn't ever foresee it. He thought he was loyal and trustworthy. But he was wrong and it almost cost him his life. The poison would've eaten through his spooch and potentially the rest of his organs. He meant to kill him agonizingly.

Two burly and grave looking bodyguards filed into the quarters. They immediately saw what was going on and approached Voce's side. The Announcer stood aside, allowing the warriors to fulfill their duty. They roughly plucked Rarl up off the floor, each of them holding one arm and restraining him powerfully.

"What are your orders, my Tallest?" one of them asked.

"Throw him into the brig and keep him under high security," Red instructed. "He will be put on a public trial on planet Judgementia, his memories will be laid bare to prove his guilt and he will be executed in front of a live audience. Everyone needs to know what happens to traitors and it doesn't matter what their position is! No one is immune!"

"You did this all on your own, my Tallest," Rarl smiled. His expression was sharp and knowing. "You know you're doing a terrible job if your own advisors want you gone."

"Get him out of my sight!"

One of the guards slugged Rarl in the abdomen, wiping away the smug look he was baring. They dragged him off to the brig, fully intending to fill out their leader's orders.

"So…" Voce said. He dusted off his cloak and readjusted it. "I believe we will have to reschedule this interview. And I should probably go to the med bay and make sure I’m actually okay...”

"Please, I need a minute to myself," Red said dismissively. "That includes you too, Lime. Everyone, out, now."

The Announcer and the service drone looked at each other. Then they turned around, walking out and giving their Tallest a moment to recuperate. Neither said a word to each other or to Red.

(…)

Gen Tso was happy that the control bridge was totally empty. Everyone, including Captain Bob were all far too busy with surfing on the space internet and looking for things to buy with the Tallest's credit card. When he left the crowded mess hall, they were debating over whether to purchase an updated stereo system or a deluxe chocolate fountain set. Things were starting to get a bit animated and someone was threatening to knock someone else's rum out of their hands. The Vortian was just relieved to get out of there. The air was getting too thick to breathe either way.

The horned alien walked up to the large display visor that hung from the ceiling. He gazed up at it, knowing what needed to be done. Gen Tso paused for a moment and tilted his head back, guzzling down the rum he had in his cup. He would probably need it.

He took a deep breath and turned his attention to the control panel below the temporarily empty screen. His fingers flittered across the keyboard, inputting the contact code he was given. Gen Tso remembered he was only supposed to communicate with the other party unless if it was absolutely imperative. But he knew this was more than necessary. Actually, this was paramount.

When he finished tapping in the line sequence, he waited. A few seconds later, the display screen flashed to life. Static fizzled on the visor. Then the Vortian pirate pressed the "send" button on the panel.

Gen Tso subtly fidgeted in place, feeling a little anxious. This was an ally and yet he couldn't help but feel a little nervous. His contact was…unpredictable at times. Although massive distances undoubtedly kept them apart and it was likely they were nowhere near the quadrant he was in, he still was fearful.

The young alien liked to think he was loyal. He was loyal to his mother and sisters. He sent his loot back to them so they could be supported while they hid from the Irken Empire. He chose this life to protect them and to raid any rare, solitary Irken ships that happened to cross Captain Bob's path. In a way, it was like getting back at the savages who turned on him and his people. They wanted to take his homeworld and displace his family? Fine. Then he'd be sure to take some of their spoils and riches in the process.

He also thought he was loyal to his crewmates and his captain. They were like family. They took him in and he had been a member of the crew for two years now. Bob was also the best Irken he ever met and he saw that he could easily serve under him. His captain's hatred of the Empire was obvious but yet he didn't ally himself with the Resisty. Gen Tso would later learn it was because the former service drone wanted to be his own boss. He no longer wanted to take orders and be bullied. The Vortian understood his reasoning.

But Gen Tso and Bob were different in a certain regard. Bob and his crew had no loyalty to any entity. They were loyal to themselves. Gen Tso was much more willing to work with the enemies of the Empire.

After all, the enemies of his enemy were his friends. He was very sympathetic towards the Resisty and their freedom fighters.

The line kept ringing. It was possible that his contact was busy. Or they were in a grumpy enough mood that they didn't want to take any calls. He didn't know them very well personally but their reputation for madness and moodiness preceded them posthumously.

He was about to end the call, deeming that now was not a good opportunity. He was going to try again later. But as he was about to hang up, a face suddenly appeared on the screen.

Gen Tso's eyes grew larger. He had only seen their face twice before and in this third instance, he was certain he contacted the wrong individual. He was looking for a scarred, Irken female with a severed antenna. The thing he was staring back at looked somewhat like an Irken but they had no antennae at all. Their exposed flesh was also covered in markings that he suspected were horrific burns.

"I-I'm sorry, I think I got the wrong contact," Gen Tso laughed nervously. He forced a smile out and rubbed the back of his head. "I'll let you go now."

"I don't give my code out to just anyone," the creature snapped. "But I remember you, Gen Tso."

As soon as he heard her voice, he recognized her. The ice in her voice and her calculating tone came rushing back to him.

She was right. Of course she was.

"I take it you have some positive and important news you mean to deliver to me," she said. "Tell me…" She smiled cruelly, displaying her teeth. "What does the great Vortian pirate have to share with me?"

"Tallest Purple was our captive, Commander Lyn," he said.

Her unsettling grin remained. It was almost like she was in suspended animation. Gen Tso folded his hands together and averted his eyes from the screen momentarily, unsettled by her gaze.

"Was..?" she said through her clenched teeth. "I want answers now, Gen Tso."

"We found him on Conveniencia stocking up on snacks and food," he explained, not wanting to risk unleashing her wrath. He knew what happened to the people who angered her. The slaughter of Pax was a story that even the Resisty were all too familiar with. "We captured him and we held him on our ship but Captain Bob negotiated with a companion that was travelling with Purple and she was able to secure his release…"

"Wait!" Lyn's smile faded but she wasn't angered. No, more than anything else, she was perplexed. She was curious. "Tallest Purple had a servant with him? When did he acquire one? I was under the impression he was hiding alone and in complete secrecy on Earth! I'm on my way there now!"

"He was hiding there but he left. I guess he didn't think he was safe there anymore. And the servant…" He shrugged. "Not a servant. She negotiated for his release with the Captain. She's an Earthling who sheltered him when he landed on her planet. I guess they grew close and they're a thing."

Lyn didn't know what to do, say or think. This was another tidbit she wasn't expecting to hear in the slightest bit. This was a huge shock to her. She almost didn't know how to process it. For a moment, she thought maybe her agent was pulling a prank but she knew that he knew better than to pull a stunt like that. There was no way that this could be a joke.

Then she started to laugh. It started out as a small snicker but as the seconds went by, it only got louder and more uproarious. Soon enough, Lyn was laughing so hard that her spooch was starting to hurt her. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. Her eyes were tightly shut and she kicked her legs as she laughed and laughed and laughed.

Gen Tso could only offer her a small, strained smile in return. He laughed quietly, feeling it was probably wise to join in with her. At least the news…tickled her. That was a good thing, right?

"So!" Lyn finally stopped, taking a few deep breaths. She wiped away the excessive moisture in the corners of her damaged eyes. "Oh, I needed that. I haven't laughed so hard in so long…" She cleared her throat. "So, Tallest Purple was released from your custody?"

"Yes, Commander Lyn," Gen Tso confirmed. "Captain Bob released him under the condition that the Tallest fulfill an old debt and to leave us alone."

"Purple would never agree to do something like that, at least, not willingly. His Earthling plaything must've organized the whole deal."

"She did."

"Then she must be stubborn enough to have him actually listen to her." She paused. "Does he care for her?"

"I…I guess so. What I wanna know is how she cares for him. He's a huge jerk. He doesn't deserve any good things for the deeds he's done." A flick of ire arose in him. "Look what he and Tallest Red to Vort! He tore my family apart!"

"Vengeance will be yours, my friend. You only need to be patient. Do you have any idea where he's travelling to next?"

"No. But Captain Bob put a tracking beacon on his ship and he exchanged communications codes so they can keep in touch. The Human promised he'd be reimbursed once the Tallest returned to the Massive."

"Do you agree with your Captain's choice?"

He didn't. But he knew he had no say. If Gen Tso was the captain, he would've gave the Irken leader to the Resisty free of charge. The things they'd do to him would make restitution unnecessary.

"No," he admitted.

"Then your loyalty is with me," she stated. "Thank you for your news, Gen Tso. You've been very helpful."

"I'll give you the tracking beacon's signature so you can hunt him down."

"I'm glad we're on the same page. We both want him dead, correct?"

"Commander, I want more than that. I want the Irken Empire destroyed."

"So do I. And when it is levelled, I will rebuild it into something else. No more height discrimination, no more nightmares, no more Tallest… The rule of the worthy will begin. The truly qualified individuals will take the reins."

"Make him pay, Commander. Make him hurt." Gen Tso grinned maliciously, displaying his fangs. "And what will you do with the Earthling?"

"That is something I have to ponder over sooner rather than later. No matter what may happen, Tallest Purple will be dead by my hand. And once I deliver his severed head to Tallest Red, then the real fun will begin."

"Works for me, Commander. And don't worry, no one will know that I contacted you."

Happily, Gen Tso supplied the tracking signature to his accomplice. It felt good to do his part. Yes, he was deliberately disobeying and sabotaging his Captain's wishes but this was for the greater good. Six million monies or the destruction of the Empire? That was a no brainer.

Chapter Text

Chapter 30 The Need for Strength

(the Massive – two days later)

Admittedly, the service drone was nervous. Although she had done her duty and saved her Tallest from her nefarious master, Lime was still anxious. She was afraid of failing somehow once more.

She was hotly and thoroughly questioned by the investigators and she gave them her whole and truthful account. Rarl Kove was not happy when Tallest Red returned from his exile and regained his power once again. Her previous employer liked his role as regent for the two years he ruled on the Tallests' behalf. He liked the prestige and authority it came with and as Red and Purple temporarily handed their duties to him and decreed him as their replacement, even he was above the Irken that were actually taller than him. The ten tallest Irken behind the two emperors couldn't object to him.

Rarl Kove became increasingly corrupt and spoiled. He secretly disliked having to serve Red and Purple, believing them to be lazy, incompetent disgraces. He had privately wished they would either be slain in exile or would simply disappear and never return. But when one of them came back, his hopes were dashed and he was forced to abdicate.

He threatened her, telling her to keep her mouth shut and do as he commanded. He was her employer and she directly served him. According to him, her loyalty to the Tallest was secondary. Lime had only kept quiet and obeyed him because she feared for her life and because she was so small and low in the social hierarchy. The wee drone was constantly afraid and torn, knowing that the things he said and thought were very much wrong and treasonous. But she only kept her head down, knowing she couldn't do much about it. Besides, she would need more evidence to convict him other than her word.

And when she witnessed her master receive the drinks from the Soda Master and then discreetly pour a suspicious liquid into the Tallest's cup, Lime suspected the worst. Her boss made her swear to keep her mouth shut and to let him take care of everything. He vowed he was going to make things right by getting rid of Red. The Grand Advisor promised that things would be far better and different with him out of the way. He claimed that the Empire would flourish far more with the current Tallest out of the way.

Yet he was not a considerate and kind master to her. She only obeyed him out of fear and duty. He often slapped and kicked her and sometimes tripped her if he was in a particularly good mood. But upon seeing him resort to this traitorous measure, Lime was divided. She knew she had to make a choice before it would be too late. And she did.

Rarl Kove was apprehended and taken into custody. Samples from the soiled and melted carpet were taken and the toxicology specialists confirmed it was indeed a potent poison. Supposedly, it was derived from some deadly, alien, maritime cephalopod-beast but that was beside the point. The substance was unquestionably deadly and if Red had actually consumed his drink, the poison would've eaten his organs from the inside out. Even with his PAK, he would not be able to survive.

Imperial Announcer Voce emerged unscathed from the ordeal. His drink wasn't tainted and a trip to the medical wing proved that he was fine. He was simply lucky that Rarl only wanted Red out of the way. Voce was also questioned by the authorities but not much could be gathered from him. More than anything else, he was only confirming the accounts and checking witness testimonies. The celebrity was shaken from that poisoning scare but he managed to recollect his cool and maintain his suave, charismatic façade.

Despite the traitorous event, he remained on the Massive. The interview still needed to be done and was simply rescheduled for a later date. Since he was aboard the gargantuan vessel, there was no way he was leaving now. Sooner or later, Red would be ready and he'd show his face in front of a live audience.

Rarl's plot was a planned and premeditated effort. He knew full well what he was doing and planned to pin the stealthy assassination on a member of the Tallests' entourage. Bepzee was outraged when he learned of this low blow and attack on his honor but he was acquitted of any and all suspicions when the interviewing and questioning began. The Soda Master would keep his position and he resolved to personally deliver all drinks he mixed to his leader as requested.

It was a lot for Lime to process. Because she had knowledge of this attempted poisoning, she was seen as an accomplice at first. But it seemed like that idea suddenly left the heads of the investigators. She was dismissed and sent on her way. They had their suspect and Rarl's existence evaluation was already scheduled. Lime assumed that they had their necessary evidence and decided to leave it at that. She was thankful for it.

Now she had another hurdle to overcome. She was summoned to meet her Tallest in person. Lime had nothing more to hide and told the investigators everything she knew. She was completely and brutally honest. But now she was being called in before her leader. Apprehension swum in her spooch and she almost wished she had her table strapped to the top of her head. That way, she could try to hide her face from him. But since she was officially no longer the Grand Advisor's personal service drone, she was out of a job. For now, there was no reason for her to don her headpiece.

She forced herself to calm down as she walked between the two, hulking guards that escorted her to Red's chambers. The lower half of their faces were concealed by their high collars but their eyes were cold and determined. They held their electric prods out to the side, seeing no need to use them but were prepared to utilize them in an instant. They were silent, stocky and they were easily a few feet taller than her. But even they were dwarfed by their Tallest.

"Did my Tallest say what he needs me for?" Lime chirped. The silence was stifling and killing her.

"No," one of them duly retorted.

"Oh…okay."

They were not the best conversationalists. They took their assignments to heart and served their leader devotedly.

Luckily, Lime didn't need to endure their stifling company much longer. The entrance to Red's rooms laid dead ahead and she was getting closer and closer. Within a moment or so, she would be in his presence.

When they finally made it to the door, one of the guards knocked on it. The locking mechanism was clearly working and Red didn't want anyone in unless if he cleared them himself.

"My Tallest, we have brought table-headed service drone Lime," the other announced.

Only a few seconds went by and then the door parted. Lime stood as tall as she could and folded her hands together. She couldn't afford to look scared and stressed. There was no reason to feel this way. It was unnecessary.

Lime entered as soon as the door finished opening up. Red was resting on the couch just as he had done so the last time she saw him. His legs were crossed and his left foot bobbed subtly.

"My Tallest," Lime nodded her head in respect. "You summoned me, sir?"

The door shut behind her. The guards were left outside and she was alone with him.

"Indeed, I did," Red replied. He gestured to the two wing chairs Voce and Rarl sat in two days prior. "Pick one."

Lime nodded and hopped up into one of them. She chose the one the Imperial Announcer settled in, refusing to sit in the same one her old master occupied. Ever so slightly, she could pick up his scent and she cringed inwardly. She would not miss him.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, my Tallest?" she asked. The seat was so plush and comfortable, she felt like she was sinking into it. "I hope all is well."

"You've impressed me, Drone Lime," he remarked. "You disobeyed your scheming master and you saved my neck in the process."

"It's my duty, my Tallest. I should have done so sooner but I was so afraid. I was a coward!"

"You were loyal to your employer. It is hard for one to disobey their master. But nowadays, I guess it's not that unexpected. After all, he turned on me and you turned on him in return. It seems like loyalties are constantly changing. But you made the right choice."

"I wish I had only intervened in a less…offensive way, sir."

"You talking about slapping that drink out of my hand?" Red snorted and waved a hand dismissively. "Don't sweat it. That was the best way to get my attention. And it saved me and shed light on a traitor I never would've seen coming."

"I am happy and honored to have saved you, sir."

"Which is why I called off the investigators' initial suspicions regarding you. I told them to leave you be since you were the one who unveiled this plot. They thought you were in league with your master… well, you were but not very willingly."

"It was my programming to obey. And I had to disobey it to save you, sir. Perhaps I am a defective?"

"Yes, but actually no."

Lime sat in her seat, as stiff as a board. She stared back at Red, her eyes unblinking and worried. She wasn't sure where this was going and it was steadily whittling away at her.

"You disobeyed your direct superior but you did your part in the war effort, Lime," he explained. "You foiled a traitor's plans and saved your leader by doing it. I think I can forgive you pretty easily for going against his wishes."

"Thank you, my Tallest," Lime sighed in relief. She gave him a small smile and wiggled her antennae at him, showing her gratitude and thankfulness to his mercy. "I am happy with your judgment!"

"There is more I wish to discuss with you aside from this incident."

"Of course, sir. Whatever you want."

"Seeing that you are out of a job considering your employer was arrested and is slated for an existence evaluation he won't be returning from… I have an offer for you. I wish for you to join my personal staff."

For the briefest second, Lime thought it might've been a joke. Only the beings that the Tallest saw as the personal best in a certain area were added to their entourage. It was a great honor to be given this opportunity and many Irken dreamt of being given such an invitation. Red and Purple were connoisseurs of snacks and beverages and so they added the best snack chef and drink maker they could find. They also had their own personal tailor that laundered and took care of their wardrobe.

Yet she was also confused. Why was she being given this opportunity? She was a service drone. Yes, she saved her Tallest but she had no exceptional skills or talents.

"M-my Tallest, you are sure?" she pressed. "I would be honored to accept your offer! But I do not want to disappoint you either, I have no notable talents you could use."

"Don't you worry, I've thought of that," Red smirked. "You're quite small and that in itself is actually useful. Because you're so tiny, you are easily overlooked. You're also super fast too. I realized that much when you slapped my drink out of my hand. The job I have in mind for you is extremely vital. It requires brains and stealth. And most importantly, I have to trust you. You will answer to me and no one else."

She put the pieces together in her head. Lime blinked, letting out a small gasp when she realized what he was implying. It was not something she believed she was hatched for.

"Spying?" she asked, raising a brow. "You want me to be a spy?"

"Correct," Red answered. "You simply gather information, pick out any particularly suspicious persons and report whatever you find to me." He laughed lightly, seeing the doubt and worry floating in her green orbs. "But don't worry, no one will be calling you 'Spy Master'. That's not gonna be your official title. Your role as a spy will be secret and unknown to everyone except me and any other individuals I can trust. As for your official, new role, you'll simply be a personal servant and assistant. How does that sound?"

That was something she'd jump at in an instant. A personal servant or assistant was treated far better than someone of her old occupation. They were paid more generously, had access to higher quality foods and were overall better off. An assistant to the Tallest could very well be a demanding job and a bit daunting but Lime didn't dare to pass it up. It was infinitely better than be a table headed drone.

"That is very generous of you, my Tallest!" she grinned widely. "Thank you! I'll happily take the job!"

"Then it's done," Red said. "Consider your new employment effective immediately."

"But won't I need to be properly reencoded as a member of your staff?"

"That can wait. Besides, I'm the Tallest, I can do whatever I want."

"Very well, sir. I hope I can serve you well and do my job, er, jobs properly."

"You have to understand something else, Lime."

"Of course, my Tallest. What is it?"

"Many of these spies and traitors might gravitate towards you because you are so small. They might think you're sympathetic to their cause and may try to include you in their plans. You may have to brush up on your acting skills, Lime."

She could do this. She had to do this. Her Tallest was rewarding and trusting her. She would be close to him, perhaps closer to him than anyone else at the moment. She would see and hear for him in his absence. He was giving her a gargantuan task and Lime didn't even dream of letting him down in any way, shape or form.

And most importantly, he treated her considerately. That was what convinced her to take her brave leap forward.

"I won't let you down, my Tallest," she vowed. "I'll do my best and I'll help out in whatever way I can."

"Eventually, Tallest Purple will return to us," he divulged. "I will explain to him about your role and you may entrust vital intel to him as well."

"Sir, is he en route?"

"Since you are now my spy and personal assistant, I will tell you this. You know to keep your mouth shut, right?"

"Yes, sir. I want Tallest Purple to return to us safe and sound. With him assisting you, we will be that much stronger and prepared to fight the Resisty."

Red nodded. He knew he could trust her. She saved him from a horrible doom anyway. She may have been a tiny, former service drone but she proved her worth. She was already far more useful than some of the taller individuals. Her height was something he could look past.

"I've supplied him with the coordinates to the Massive," he revealed. “We're actually meeting at a halfway point so it will be easier and quicker for him to reach us."

"When was the last time you've spoken with him, sir?"

"Over two weeks ago. As long as progress is being made, we should be reuniting soon enough. All we can do is wait and hope that everything goes according to plan. It's dangerous here but it's probably even worse out there. On here, I can keep an eye on him. Out there…" His eyes narrowed and he frowned. "Out there is where she is."

Lime only nodded. She instantly understood. There was simply no need to speak further on it.

(Planet #34 - three days later)

It was so strange…

You were so happy, relieved and optimistic. The both of you were in the immediate aftermath. Things looked so good when you were given the green light to go from Bob. You were back on track and making a beeline for the Massive.

But when you went to bed and woke up some hours later, he was different. He suddenly became distant, quiet and somber. You'd even describe him as depressed. It was alarming and it freaked you out immensely.

You reached out to Purple. You offered to make him a chocolate cake with fudge icing or hot brownies with ice cream. He turned that down, saying he wasn't feeling particularly hungry. You offered to watch or play whatever movie or game he wanted. He replied, saying he had to monitor the ship and try to plan the route ahead so he could possibly find a quicker and easier way to meet up with the Armada. Even something like closeness and cuddling with him seemed unappealing to him.

He hardly spoke, he isolated himself to the cockpit and it seemed like he was doing more thinking than you ever thought possible for him. It was worrying you. He brushed it all off, saying it was nothing or it was a thing only he had to worry about.

As much as you wanted to be proactive and try to resolve this issue, you also didn't want to risk another fight. It had been five days since you left the pirates behind and that fiasco was still fresh in your head. You had no desire to repeat the spat you had with him. That was painful and draining and you didn't have the energy to start another fight with him.

You did the only thing you thought you could do. You gave him his space and let him know he could talk to you whenever he was ready. But, of course it didn't mean you stopped worrying. No, it just got worse.

Then the break in the monotony ended. You woke up, seeing that you landed on some planet. When you got up to investigate, you spotted him outside of the ship, laying down on the ground. However, he was brandishing the same rifle he used against the pirates some days ago. As you watched him, he was shooting at a row of empty soda cans a few hundred feet away.

He shot at them for hours. Despite wanting to emerge and ask for some answers, you gave him his space. You didn't want to infringe on his privacy. Maybe he needed to shoot some soda cans for a day in order to cool off. If that was the case, you'd leave him be for as long as he thought necessary.

"Hey."

You looked up from the bowl of cereal you finished up a few seconds prior. He was leaning in the doorway leading to the cockpit, looking back at you.

"Hey," you shot back, "you okay?"

"Why don't you come outside with me," he offered. "I'm, uh, I'm done. The planet's atmosphere is safe for you."

"Yeah, sure." You got up from your seat at the table and put the used bowl in the sink. You could clean that up later.

"You'll like it."

He gave you a tiny smile when he said that. Purple walked towards the middle of the ship where the bedroom was.

You could hear happy whines from Bambi as he greeted the Tallest. A grin formed on your face when you heard him praise and give some affection to the canine. It seemed like his mood lightened and you were grateful for that.

When he emerged from that room, he was holding onto one of the quilts. He bore the balled up object in his arms and motioned his head towards the cockpit, urging you to follow him.

"You plan on sleeping outside tonight?" you teased him lightly.

"Only if you want to, babe," he replied.

You followed him out of the interior. Then you set your foot down on your second alien planet.

It was night out but the evening was so impossibly bright and gorgeous. The moon that hung in the sky above was five times closer to the one back home on Earth. It was insanely large and it was colored a chalky-yellow. The stars above were luminous and everywhere. As you looked closer, you could see traces of another galaxy; it was wispy and cloudlike, reminding you of the Milky Way. Sometimes, you could see it on your homeplanet but light pollution from Earth's cities dimmed the cosmic lightshow.

And when you finally looked away from the sky, you could see flickering, floating lights all around you. A tiny laugh came from you when you looked at these objects, realizing they were actually lifeforms. More than anything else, you likened them to fireflies. Perhaps that's what they were except an alien variety. While the ones on Earth were typically yellow, these ones were of all sorts of colors. They ranged from an orangish-red, bluish-yellow, white, light purple and even bright green. It was like you were in the middle of a flickering, living rainbow.

This didn't even feel like you were on another planet. Instead of that, it felt like you stepped into some magic kingdom from the pages of a fantasy story. It was surreal, untouched, peaceful…

"This is Planet Number Thirty-Four," he said, snapping you out of your fascinated stupor.

"What a shitty name," you griped. "Who gave this place that designation?"

"Because it's number thirty-four on a list of planets that have no designated purpose within the Irken Empire. In the future, it may be converted to something else but for now, it's been placed on that waiting list of sorts."

"You've conquered it?"

"Eh, more like claimed it. There are no intelligent, dominant lifeforms here so there was nothing to conquer really. We just claimed it and added it to the Empire's expanses."

"What can you tell me about this place, it's so beautiful."

"Well, according to the data provided, it's a grassland world. Full of animals and critters and whatnot." He knelt down and spread the quilt across the earth. "They've adapted to the rarity of water on this planet."

"I was always told water is a staple of life throughout the universe. You know, that life can't exist without it in one form or another. I mean, I know what you just said but…it baffles me."

"Hey, I can. I can drink and bathe in water but it has to be ultra-purified. The water on Earth is acidic to us Irken. It burns us. Water's not really a thing found on my homeworld. It doesn't even rain there."

"That's strange…"

"And so is acid water falling from your sky."

He chuckled and sat down on the blanket. Purple patted a spot next to him, inviting you to join him.

"You seem better now," you said, taking your seat beside him.

He sighed. His antennae drooped and his head hung low.

"Not really," he confessed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you offered. "Do you feel up to it?"

"Look, I'm disgusted and ashamed with myself."

"Because of that whole thing with the pirates?"

"Yeah, what else?" He huffed and threw his arms up into the air, looking frustrated and at a loss. "I was a soldier! I was one of the best ones! I had confirmed kills from miles away! And what happens to me? I become Tallest. I get lazy, sloppy and embarrassing! What good am I if I can't hold my own against a bunch of losers like them?"

He was consternated. You could understand his insecurities and how he felt. You understood that his society placed an emphasis on doing your assigned role and getting the job done. To fail or to neglect it could very well get one into a lot of trouble.

"I was measured and I became Tallest," he went on. "I get that and I had a new assignment. I gave up my role as an Elite and I accepted my new job so happily. I was so excited, I couldn't wait to have all that power, unlimited snacks and all those other neat perks! But I didn't realize until I got captured just how pathetic I got." He shook his head and growled in annoyance. "I'm so weak and a pushover! How can anyone possibly admire or respect that? I want to be more than just be a Tallest! I want to be able to actually be worthy! It-it's almost like becoming Tallest was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. I mean…does that even make any sense?!"

"I get your frustration," you said. "You had one job and then you got another one that's completely different from your old one. Purple, I get it."

"There's more to it than that. I also failed as your suitor. I failed to protect you. They caught me and had me in cuffs and I had to rely on you to bail us both out." His hands balled into fists and he frowned heavily. "I was a loser! I'm surprised you didn't ditch me!"

"I can't ditch you because I love you. If you love and care for someone, you gotta stick around and help them as much as you can. There was no way I was going to leave you in the dust unless if I had to in order to save you or something."

"A bonded pair protects each other. They share food, their thoughts and they love and rely on each other. You were the one who protected me when I got shocked. You protected me when I didn't want to cooperate! You're smaller than me and you aren't even a solider! And yet here you are, stepping up and doing something that should've been my duty, my job! Do you have any idea of embarrassing it is? I'm a joke!" His form sagged and he looked pitiful and defeated. "No wonder why people like Red more than me! It's like they can understand me better than I can myself! I don't deserve to be Tallest! I'm just a loser, a chump, a big, fat disappointment and disgrace!"

You wrapped your arms around his head and hugged him to your abdomen. Purple nuzzled his face into your belly and his arms enveloped your frame in return. Your hand stroked the back of his head, wanting to soothe him and keep him calm. There was no need for him to get worked up and disheartened over that incident.

"It's okay," you whispered to him. You kissed the top of his cranium. "I don't mind protecting and helping you. That's a labor of love."

"But I'm failing on my end," he whined. "I have to protect my Human. I have to keep her safe because next time, we might not be as lucky. We might not be able to fight or negotiate our way out of it. I know that a lot of people want me dead and gone. I can't unsee it anymore. And with you next to me, they'll target you. I can't let that happen either."

"Whatever we do, we do it together, okay?"

"I know. But I have to do my part better. I need you to understand that."

"I do."

"That's why I landed here. I had to stop for a day and practice my shooting. And I want to do a little bit more tomorrow too and then we'll hit the road again. Is that alright?"

For as much as his race stressed emphasis on invulnerability, he was quite the opposite. Once you broke through that spoiled, cruel, cold demeanor he liked to tote around, he was rather soft and sensitive. He was damaged, insecure and, at times, an emotional wreck. Even a Tallest like him strove to prove and maintain his image and worth in front of his subjects. This portrait of perfection was harder to enforce than he ever thought.

You'd have to be patient and understanding. He needed to work on these things; it was a personal project. It'd take time and you knew you'd be there if he needed you for anything.

"That's fine," you said. "This planet is pretty isolated and abandoned, right?"

"It is Irken property," he elaborated. “But I did a scan for settlements and there's pretty much nothing here. It's on the waiting list, waiting to be developed and given a purpose. I actually camped out here for a few weeks before I came to Earth. I didn't run into any trouble at all."

"I guess you liked it enough if you came back." You strove to keep his mind off the stressful, self-depreciating things and decided to change the subject.

"It's way different than Irk. But it reminds me of Earth a bit too." He sighed quietly. "Actually, Earth is kind of like a mix of this planet and Irk. On Earth, you have big cities and population centers but you also have a lot of wilderness like here."

"Irk is heavily industrialized?"

"Yeah. We even developed the interior of our planet too."

"Do you have any nature or flora or fauna there?"

"We have a few animals native to Irk that still remain. They're mainly used in gladiatorial matches or are in zoos. We also have some plants but they're raised in labs for food and research purposes."

He allowed himself to smile. He gently pulled his head away from your middle and sat up. Then Purple pulled you up into his lap and held you close. He couldn’t believe he never brought this particular topic up until now. This would have to be remedied, pronto.

"Actually, there's a place you would really like on Irk,” he explained. “It's the called the Acropolis. It's the where Red and I live when we're on our homeplanet. It's a big palace complex built on the highest point on Irk. It's where all the Tallest have lived since the beginning of the Empire."

Okay, that actually did sound really cool. Your attention was definitely caught and you wanted to know more about this landmark.

"And what's it like?" you scratched him gently under his chin. "What does it have?"

He churred quietly at the scratching, enjoying it. His antennae stood to attention and then wiggled in contentment. His cheek rubbed against yours and then gave it a playful, tiny lick.

"It has a giant swimming pool complete with a diving board and hot tub," he said. "And there's a huge arcade and bowling alley too! Of course, the Tallest's personal chambers are there too plus a whole wing of the premises that's devoted to catering to and housing guests. There're also kitchens, theaters, dining rooms and even a great, big garden! The garden was something that was planted during Tallest Crocus' reign, she loved collecting flora from conquered worlds and then cultivating them at the Acropolis. See, before she became Tallest, she was a scientist that worked with plants from other planets and she kept that passion with her."

"Tallest Crocus was how long ago?"

"A long time ago. She was the Tallest before Hrawl. Oh, and there's also the Hall of Remembrance that displays the busts of all the Tallest that reigned." He smiled at you charmingly. "Of course, yours truly has his likeness immortalized there forever too."

You snickered at his cheekiness and you gave him a peck on his lips.

"Naturally," you rolled your eyes but smiled. "And I'm sure any future Tallest will look back on your bust and think 'holy shit, he was such a handsome dweeb'."

You laughed and his cheeks darkened. Then your laughter became louder and more raucous as he tickled your ribs.

"Keep it up and you'll be sleeping out here alone," he jested.

"And if you keep on tickling me, I'll end up peeing on you!" you warned in between your laughter.

Abruptly, he stopped but he still held you closely and securely to him. He placed a kiss on your mouth and exhaled happily.

"Yeah, you gotta check it out," he resumed. "I mean, it'll end up being your home too since it's mine. The garden is something you'll have to see. It'll be the first thing I show you." He scoffed. "You know, Red was thinking about levelling it. He wanted it replaced with a giant hangar so he could repair and tinker with his stupid ships in his spare time."

"'Was'?" you asked. "What convinced him to not do it?"

"Pax."

"Oh… I probably should've known."

"The gardens were her favorite part of the complex. She liked messing with machines and she stunk like oil and fluids sometimes but she really got into flowers once she saw the gardens for the first time. Sometimes, she and Red would disappear into them for the whole day. I don't think he'd destroy them after her death but I'll stop him if he wants to do it again. I want you to see it. I admit…I like it too. It's different."

"I'll see it one day, Purple. I definitely plan on it. And you better be with me when I finally get to it."

"Definitely! You'd get lost if you went in on your own!"

"How big is it?"

"I did the calculations… It's over one hundred Earth acres."

It was big. Very big. You'd definitely need a guide to get through that horticultural labyrinth.

"I think this planet needs a name," you said.

"Hey, if you wanna think of a name and purpose for it, it's all up to you," he retorted. "Look, babe, if you want your own planet, just say it. It's yours."

"The Hell am I gonna do with my own planet?" You laughed and shook your head. "Trust me, I don't wanna have to rule it and all that, I'm fine!"

"There's like over two hundred purposeless planets on this list, no one's gonna care if you have your own." He clicked his tongue. "But okay… I can let you name this one. And maybe we can think of a purpose for it. How's that sound? We can take it off the list when we get back to the Massive."

"And I don't want it turned into another convenience store planet." You gave him a smug smirk. "Sometimes it's nice to leave things as they are."

"You don't want to develop it into anything at all?"

"Okay, if you absolutely have to do something with a planet you get, how about…" You hummed and shrugged. "Maybe a nature preserve planet? Maybe your scientists can come here and study the wildlife in the environment they live in. I mean, knowledge is great and all, right?"

"Hey, this planet didn't have a purpose but now you gave it one. You'll just have to explain to the planetary conversion crews how you want it developed and done. Your answer is better than no answer." He ruffled your hair playfully. "Now it needs a name."

Your inspiration came from the vivid fireflies that still glowed and drifted soundlessly around you. It didn't take you long at all to come up with a name for the planet.

"How about Lumus?" you suggested. "It comes from the world 'light' in one of the old languages found on Earth."

"I forgot about the insane amount of languages and dialects one species can have," Purple commented. "You're all one species but you come in so many different kinds, colors and varieties. It's almost overwhelming! Irken are nothing like that. Sometimes our skin tones are a little different but the most obvious differences are our height. We all speak the same language though. How do you manage to make sense of it all?"

"I'm an Earthling, I live on Earth." You laughed. "You get used to it."

"Lumus, huh?" He tapped his chin. "It's got a nice ring to it. Alright, that's what we'll call it."

You had only seen a fraction of this place and that was what you could see with your naked eye. The moonlight brightened up the surroundings, revealing the endless sea of tall, yellow and green grass that undoubtedly stretched for miles upon miles. After all, he said this was a grassland planet so you had an idea of what it probably held. The flickering, multi-colored lights of the fireflies still persisted and there was a chance they'd continue until morning came.

It really was beautiful. It was unlike the hilly woods and small lakes you were so accustomed too. But that was alright. Variety was the spice of life after all.

"What was it like laying low here?" you asked.

"I didn't like it," he admitted immediately. "I didn't like my exile at all until I made it to Earth. It was too quiet and lonely. There was no one to talk to and it was even scary at a few parts." He snorted softly. "And here I was thinking hiding on Earth was going to be the worst part about it. I was desperate and I knew no one would go there because Zim was there. But nah… it ended up being great."

"No wonder you clung to me so fast, you had no one to talk to."

You laughed, teasing him and nudging into his side.

"Not true!" he sputtered, sounding offended. "We…we didn't get along well in the beginning. I know you wanted to kill me at some points."

"It's fine," you assured him. "I'm sure you wanted to lobotomize me on a few occasions too. I know things weren't ideal. Yet we got along well enough eventually."

"Yeah…" He looked and sounded sheepish. "But it was worth it, right?"

"Yes, yes it was. I don't regret it."

"I don't want you to. That's why I have to step up my game in several areas." He audibly gulped. "I, uh…you know what I mean."

For a few seconds, you didn't. But as you dwelled on the matter and could see the darkness of his cheeks, you were enlightened. You knew exactly what was on his mind.

"There's no rush for something like that," you said, not wanting to fluster or overwhelm him. You ignored the warmth invading your own cheeks. "That can happen when it happens."

"But I want it to happen!" he whined softly. "It cements our bond and we become a mated pair then. I know from what I've observed from Humans, it's more casual and meaningless. But there are alien races that take it seriously. I have no idea if it was like that for my species all that time ago. I probably never will find out. However, I know I want to take it seriously too. I don't want another female. I want you."

You did as well. In the beginning, you were a big denier and you were disgusted with yourself over it before you eventually came to terms with your feelings. As time went by, you became less afraid of the idea. You were pretty sure Irken mating didn't consist of being impaled and having eggs lain in your abdominal cavity that would then hatch and the resulting offspring would eat you from the inside out once their gestation was complete. He was ignorant of his species' exact mating process but he was certain it was close to an Earthling's. That made you feel comforted and optimistic.

He was terribly insecure about it but he was eager to engage in it at the same time. Purple was concerned about hurting both parties but heck… there was going to be a first time for everything.

He needed a distraction. He was so worried, feeling inadequate and subpar. In your mind, he needed a reprieve and to deflate a bit. Perhaps this would loosen him up a little and maybe plant a seed of much needed confidence in him.

Hell, you needed it too.

"I'm willing and ready for whenever you are," you said, stroking his jawline. "I'd say now's a pretty good time."

His eyes were almost comically huge. He stared back at you, unblinking. The Tallest was at a loss for words and unsure of how to react.

"Uh…" he smiled nervously. "Do we know what to do? Am I going to pick the right, uh, hole..? And aren't you new to this too?"

"You've watched more porn for research than I have in my entire life, I think we'll figure it out," you retorted, feeling thoroughly embarrassed. Despite that, you weren't discouraged.

"Yeah, I got the gist of it from those horrible video records. Hoo, man, I am nervous!" His eyes returned to their normal size but his anxious smile remained. His antennae were upright and rigid and wiggled ever so slightly. "I really want it a lot but… How do we start?"

You were a bit nervous too but you didn't want him to notice it too much. If he caught onto it, he'd be less likely to go through with it. You wanted him to relax and help him get over his insecurity.

"Sometimes it starts slowly and ordinarily enough," you said, your cheeks still warm and colored. "Sometimes, it starts with a kiss then…"

As soon as you revealed that bit, he threw his mouth atop yours. Purple practically pounced atop your body, forcing you onto your back. He pinned you under him, instantly deepening the kiss and snaking his long tongue into your mouth. His hands rested atop your hips and they ran up and down the curves of your body, admiring its contour and shape. A deep, gurgle came from within his chest, his body almost rattling in the process.

When the kiss first started, it caught you completely by surprise. A startled squeal came from you but that was quickly drowned out. But you found yourself subdued quickly by him and all too willing to return it. Purple became a damn good kisser, better than you ever could've predicted before.

Now you were going to figure something else about him.

Chapter Text

Chapter 31 The Interview

(Lumus – the next morning)

What was nice was that you woke up on your own. Nothing stirred you and that was a relief. There was no sense of emergency or alarm and that was even more assuring and serene. As you stirred, you felt a little sleepy but you felt well rested and relaxed. You were comfortable and that was all that mattered in that moment.

As you slowly shook off your sleep-addled mind, you could feel that you certainly were not alone. You could feel thin but strong arms around you, holding you close to their main body. You were practically enveloped in those arms but you were cozy and felt secure.

And the memory came rushing back to you. There was no way either of you were going to make it back inside the shuttle. He ended up falling asleep literally minutes after the deed was done. Frankly, you did too but it was amusing and also surprising to see Purple conk out so quickly after the act. But it was finally done. You didn't melt or get killed and neither did he. Sure, it was a bit awkward but you expected that. But no one died or got hurt and that was what mattered the most.

Purple slept away. He was resting on his side, his arms wrapped around you and keeping close to him while he slept. There was even the tiniest smile on his face.

"Hey," you whispered to him. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty."

You set a kiss on his cheek and he grunted quietly. His left antenna twitched at the contact and he stirred. The Tallest muttered something unintelligible and buried his face into the nape of your neck.

"Come on," you encouraged him. "We're gonna hit the road again, soon, right?"

He mumbled again. Purple's mouth widened, looking almost as if he was about to unhinge his jaws as he let out a massive yawn.

Finally, his eyes cracked open. He rubbed at them and unwrapped one arm from around you, reaching around to scratch his rump briefly. After that, both arms were surrounding you again.

"Morning, babe," he greeted. His voice was a little deep and groggy from his sleep. "You ready to leave so fast already?"

"You're gonna do your shooting practice and we're on our way again, right?" you asked.

"I'll get to it. I just wanna wake up more and cuddle my Human. Is that okay?"

He set a brief but sweet kiss on your lips. Then he nuzzled his cheek against yours, delighting in the closeness.

He was careful and unsure when it first started. He was anxious and fretted over making a huge mistake. But that was quickly forgotten about. Instinct had kicked in very swiftly and he was no longer worried about confidence and looking like a fool. That was the least of his concerns then.

Purple didn't get it. He didn't get why something like this was forbidden. The Control Brains must've been jealous or insane. Or both. It felt so good and he loved it. He couldn't believe that a day ago, he was so worried and thought he'd never be able to experience this intimate activity.

In fact, he found himself briefly humoring the idea of possibly allowing such relationships to occur and removing the taboo. Maybe everyone would be a bit happier if they just did some mating with their chosen suitor. Of course, he'd have to get permission from the Control Brains but he'd plead his case and see about trying to persuade them. Maybe they'd be happier and less likely to rebel too. It was a start, at least.

For the most part, Irken were either hatched sterile or lacked reproductive organs. But in the past few centuries, it seemed like more were being born with those organs intact or were actually proven to be viable due to a physical exam. It was an unusual thing and the Control Brains seemed to allow these deviances to continue. Of course, the true supreme leaders of Irk were never questioned regarding this but it was noted as an unusual phenomenon. Consequent generations and batches were born with this trait and Purple never really gave much thought about it until that moment. He was becoming convinced that the Brains might've been malfunctioning or defective themselves but he'd never admit that out loud or let the thought linger in his head for too long. He was one of those Irken that were hatched with his reproductive organs intact and judging from the previous night, they were in working order.

It shocked him. He was a hesitant stranger to it in the beginning and now he understood it a little better. But he definitely planned on experiencing it again. There was no way he'd stop there.

And it made him wonder if Red ever mated with Pax. Sooner or later, he'd have to compare notes.

But he'd think about all this weirdness later. He had to practice his shooting a little more and get back on track.

"You slept okay?" he asked.

"Like the dead," you answered.

"Wait, you didn't actually die, did you..?"

You laughed when you heard the mounting concern in his voice.

"It's a figure of speech," you explained. "It just means that I slept as if I was dead."

"Oh," Purple huffed, relieved at your explanation. "Okay. As long as you didn't actually die and you somehow restarted your organs or something. You sure don't have a PAK that can do that if it does happen."

"If I died in my sleep and if you found out about it just then, you'd have no chance at bringing me back. No defibrillator or amount of CPR could help out with that."

"Let's not talk about that anymore, it's twisting my spooch up."

"Okay, okay…"

Purple gave you a small smile and placed a kiss on the tip of your nose. His eyes softened up and you could see so easily what was on his mind. Gauging his emotions was getting to be like second nature to you. He wore them so visibly and there was no doubting them.

"I love you," he nearly whispered. He murmured your name and kissed you again. "I love you so much."

You felt your cheeks get hot and you returned his affection to him.

"I love you too, Purple," you said, unable to hold back a smile.

Dotingly, he gazed back at you. You felt his fingers stroke the back of your head, perfectly content to rest with you like this.

"Yeah, let's hop to it," he grumbled. "At least when we get on the ship, we can cuddle while we're traveling."

Reluctantly, he released you. He seemed annoyed with having to cease the tenderness but he caved in to his duties. Purple yawned again and stretched before sitting up.

You knew you had to light a fire under it too. You'd have to take Bambi on a walk so he could do his business before resuming your journey. Plus, there was breakfast to make for yourself and the animals. Also, you could probably use a shower.

Your attention was then arrested when you saw some sort of movement out of the corner of your eye. Your head turned to that direction and you beheld some sort of…animal.

It was a stout and small creature, probably standing three feet tall at maximum. It was colored exactly like the yellow and green grass around it, making it camouflage in almost perfectly. As you looked closer, you could make out that it had a large, ivory colored beak and a huge pair of emerald-green eyes. More than anything else, it looked like a bug-eyed, pudgy parrot of sorts.

Aside from the fireflies, this was another native of the planet.

"Hey there, little guy," you said, keeping your tone calm and level. You very much wanted to observe this alien creature. And judging by how it stared back at you and held its ground, it was equally as interested in you. "What're you exactly?"

The Tallest looked over his shoulder upon hearing you speak. He was completely oblivious to the presence of the beast. Yet when he finally spotted what you were looking at it, he grunted in annoyance.

"Oh, I hate those things," he griped, standing up finally.

"What is it, it looks cute!" you said.

"'Obnoxious, fat mimic bird'. That's what I call it."

You blinked in surprise.

Then it opened up its mouth and released a very suggestive and familiar noise. Your eyes grew large and your jaw dropped. Oh, Lord, there was no mistaking what that was exactly. This thing listened to you last night.

This bird was shaming you.

"Hit the road, fatso!" Purple snarled.

The bird released another loud groan from its maw. This time, it was imitating one of the noises he made. It stood at the edge of the tall grass and clicked its beak, sounding a lot like mischievous laughter.

Purple's PAK legs sprung out and raised him off the ground, exaggerating his height even further. He wouldn't be mocked by this bothersome creature. Oh, no, he couldn't let that happen. Then he charged after the rotund bird, meaning to scare it off and cease its teasing.

The flightless bird abruptly turned and ran off into the dense grass. As it fled from the much larger and angrier lifeform, it rotated between the mimicked, sexual noises and the impish laughter.

He frowned and stopped at the foot of the grass, glowering at the rustling foliage as the animal fled. He listened to it carry on with its teasing while it ran away. For a moment, he forgot about these things and he was unhappily reminded that they did indeed live on this planet. Now he had an even stronger motivation to depart as soon as possible.

"I guess it's…cute," you struggled, trying to find some positive aspect about it. "And it's very bold.”

Purple rolled his eyes and his metal extensions retracted back into their compartment. He turned and walked over to the hull of the ship. Then he picked up the rifle that was leaning against it.

"Yeah, I hate them, they're annoying," he snorted.

"Leave it alone, we'll be leaving soon enough," you urged.

"It was making fun of us!"

"And it did a pretty good job of it…" You finally stood up and walked towards the ship, intending on starting your duties.

"If it happens to step into my shooting range, it's fair game." Purple smirked maliciously. "It's fair game at that point."

You rolled your eyes and tuned him out. You hoped he'd be bigger and more of an adult than that.

(the Massive – three hours later)

"We're gonna be on in five minutes, let's light a fire under it, folks! There're no more delays! The people of Irk need to see this interview!"

The broadcast crew quickly acknowledged their boss and picked up the pace. They hastily triple checked the equipment, making sure cameras, audio equipment and other pieces of vital tech were in working order. Everything had to go perfect, or else. It wasn't everyday that they were personally working on the set of an interview with one of their Almighty Tallest.

The setting actually took place in the Tallest's chambers. It was decided that an interview on the control bridge of the Massive might be too distracting and roomy. Too much would be going on with all the personnel crammed into that space. Something more personal and comfortable might make the broadcast more intimate but serious at the same time.

While the broadcasting staff wrapped up on their final preparations, their boss sat in his wingchair. Voce sipped away on his soda while the cosmetics crew polished his boots, ran a lint roller over his cloak and shined his helmet. The Imperial Announcer held himself as still as possible, letting them work. They'd do their job faster and more effectively if he cooperated on his end. Besides, appearances were indeed important and he had an image to maintain.

He smirked as he let them work, enjoying feeling pampered and important. After all, he was one of the most popular Irken and he knew that all too well. It was probably daring but safe to imply he might've had even more fans than his Tallest at this point. His only disappointment with his situation was that he wished he was taller. Sure, he might've been number six and directly behind Grand Prefect Megumi who was number five in the placement of tallest Irken. But he was comforted by the fact she'd be kicking the bucket in at least the next few years or maybe another decade or so if he was unlucky enough. He just had to be patient. He was young and he had time.

Inwardly, he sighed in disgust at the acknowledgment of the tallest Irken behind the Tallest themselves. He had a few interviews with Sizz-Lorr in the past and Voce was not fond of him. The Fry-lord was gruff, no nonsense and Voce was even offended that the hulking Irken didn't at least wear a cleaner and more appropriate change of clothes for his interview. No, he still wore his apron and work outfit during the process. If Voce could select a few words to describe him they would be; ugly, greasy and unapproachable. His sole redeeming qualities were his height and work ethic. Other than that, that was it.

He might've been sixth in line for the office of Tallest but Voce liked to think he had a chance. With the death of Megumi, he would become fifth unless if another, taller individual was found. The line of succession was no stranger to fluctuation or change. In fact, the tallest Irken behind Sizz-Lorr was murdered by the upstart, defective leader. The Control Brain technician's position was replaced by someone else but Voce didn't particularly care.

The Announcer tilted his head up ever so slightly, looking at the closed door that blocked the way to Red's bedchambers. He chortled quietly as he heard the panicked voice of the Master Tailor.

"We have four minutes until showtime, my Tallest!" Voce called out. "Please, be ready in approximately three minutes and forty-five seconds!"

A muffled but still shrill screech came from the staff member in the adjacent room. Voce had to stifle a spray of laughter as he listened to the woes and distress of the unfortunate wardrobe specialist.

"These wrinkles..!" Spindul vented. He steamed the robe, trying his hardest to get the accursed imperfection out of his Tallest's garment. "This won't do! This interview will have to be postponed until I can a replacement! What fabric did those idiots use to make this?! I thought I said..!"

"Spindul, I don't care!" Red raised his voice. "I don't care if it's a bit wrinkled, it's fine, chill out!"

"My Tallest, I am so sorry!" the smaller Irken bemoaned. Tears of frustration and rage were appearing out of the corners of his light brown eyes. "You need to look perfect and I've soiled it! I've SOILED IT!"

Red yanked his outfit off of the steaming rack, fed up with having to wait. He had a little over three minutes left, he wasn't going to allow himself get interviewed in nothing but his black leggings. Wrinkles be damned, he simply didn't care anymore. And if someone was going to judge them because of some slight, stubborn imperfection, then that was going to be their problem. They could get a life.

Lime averted her eyes, allowing her Tallest to dress. Her whole face was dark green and she stared at the carpeted floor. It was very rare for any Irken to see another of their species half dressed. In fact, it was frowned upon and was almost considered taboo. Typically, the only individuals who were allowed to see their fellow Irken in such a state were the wardrobe masters, tailors and other garment drones. And these workers were almost always servants to the elite.

She knew she was no clothing drone. She was a personal assistant and she was rather certain seeing her Tallest half naked wasn't in her job description. Lime felt extremely awkward and out of place seeing Red totally bare on his torso. She noted that there were scars along his shoulders and chest but her eyes never lingered for long to particularly study them. And thankfully, he was wearing his leggings and so he wasn't completely bare. If she had seen him in that state, she was sure she would've died from shame.

So far, her employment was going along well enough. She was introduced to the other three members of Red's staff. Typically, she spent the most time with Spindul and when he wasn't busy with cracking under pressure, he was actually laidback and welcoming. Bepzee was boisterous and loud but had accepted Lime into the ranks. Kookee was a bit chaotic and too energetic but she was very accommodating. Lime was certain she'd be able to get along just fine so long as she served her Tallest correctly and did her best.

And Lime also knew that sooner or later, she would be meeting Tallest Purple. He and Red shared the same staff members and the former service drone knew she would end up following the other Tallest's orders and commands in time as well. For the most part, she knew Purple and Red got along. The only time they truly fought was over snacks but it would usually be quickly remedied when Kookee took matters into her hands. She'd hastily procure them and make sure both of them got the same thing at the same time, diffusing the hostility. Lime only hoped Tallest Purple would accept the position Red granted to her. She was aware he wasn't as forgiving as her immediate superior and could be far blunter.

"It must be a relief, my Tallest," Spindul remarked.

"What're you talking about?" Red sighed.

"You're not wearing your typical outfit, sir. And the corseting rings for this outfit are far more merciful. They're made from soft but firm silk."

Lime dared to turn her eyes back to her Tallest. It was possible he was mostly clothed and thus safe to look.

The outfit Red was wearing was indeed different to what she was used to seeing on him. His typical color scheme of red and black remained but the look of the garb was changed. This clothing looked far more comfortable and luxurious and it looked like it was made from some type of satin or silk. It even looked ridiculously soft to the touch. The garb was flowing and completely covered his feet save for the tips of his feet that stuck out at the very bottom. The sleeves were quite wide and hung around his limbs loosely, concealing much of their shape. The end of the sleeves were not unlike bell bottoms and the tips of his claws stuck out. There was also a dark cherry-colored, long, luxurious cloak that had the Irken insignia emblazoned on the back of it. The corseting rings around his spine were much less restricting and didn't restrain him as much, granting his body a break and some freedom. His gauntlets were also removed, displaying his clawed fingers and his unsullied thumbs (Lime thought that was quite interesting since they were supposed to have been severed).

In fact, Lime thought he looked healthier and stronger in this outfit. It was different but it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. He looked magnificent and majestic, perfect for the interview.

"It feels weird but it's for a special event so I'll suck it up," Red said blandly.

"You look great in it, my Tallest," Lime complimented.

Both Spindul and Red snapped their heads towards her. It was almost as if they completely forgot that she was present in the room. Lime shrunk under their wide-eyed stares, looking out of place and awkward.

"I'm sorry, perhaps it was not my place to say anything," she muttered.

"No, it's fine," Red said a little too quickly. "I-we just forgot you were in here. You're so quiet and tiny, Lime. But I thank you for your compliment!"

"Yes, sir, you do look fabulous!" Spindul grinned. "I suppose the wrinkles don't matter."

"One minute and fifteen seconds left, my Tallest!" Voce boomed from the adjoining room.

Lime grabbed the plastic cup sitting next to her and held it up to Red. The Tallest grabbed it, chugging it. Once he downed the contents, he sighed in satisfaction and set it back on the tabletop.

"Do you need anything else, my Tallest?" Lime asked, being sure to play her role.

"The drink was good enough," said Red. "But could you relay an order to Kookee? Have her whip up some chocolate covered pretzels for me and I'd like to have them ready by the time the interview is done."

"Right away, sir. Good luck with your interview!"

"Knock 'em dead, my Tallest," Spindul emulated. "You'll do wonderfully! They're just questions anyway."

Red straightened his posture and made his way to the door. When he approached, the door opened, leading into the living room area.

All the eyes of the broadcasting crew were on the form of their Tallest when he emerged. Even the Imperial Announcer was impressed by the regal robes and trailing cloak that Red wore.

"I would kill for that outfit, my Tallest!" Voce praised. "It’s way more tasteful and extravagant than anything else I've seen you wear before!"

"Thanks, I guess," Red shrugged, totally disinterested. "Right, let's get this show on the road."

Red sat down in his seat, directly across from the Announcer. He leaned back slightly, wanting to get somewhat comfortable. He didn't want to admit it out loud but the rings around his spine felt so much better than the ones he always used. Maybe he'd start wearing these ones more often.

"Are you sure you don't want any make up applied?" Voce asked. "We've got thirty-two seconds left!"

"I want them to see my face, scars and all, like I said," Red reiterated. "I want them to know I'm not afraid to get down and dirty."

"Dramatic! Love it! Suit yourself, my Tallest." He smirked and folded his gloved hands together. "Feeling nervous, sir?"

"Not at all. I have nothing to hide or be nervous over. Why would I be?"

"You've been ruling for nearly fifty years, sir. That's still pretty new in terms of reigning as a Tallest but I don't think you've had an interview since you and Tallest Purple were first instated. Sadly, I wasn't the one to get that first, exclusive scoop but hey, better later than never, right?"

"Sure. Besides, Purple was the one that hogged it up, he likes that sort of thing. He thinks it makes him look smarter."

"Ha, ha, well now it's your turn!"

"Boss, we're on in ten seconds!" one of the drones warned.

Voce's posture immediately became more poised and proper, looking as if a stick was shoved up his ass. He put on his signature, large, toothy grin and fluffed up his cloak briefly, trying to look larger.

Red only patiently lingered in his seat, looking forward to the chocolate covered pretzels he'd get once the interview was done and over with. He'd just have to smile, answer questions, engage in some idle chit-chat and be done with it.

…yeah, now he wished he could have Purple take his place for this the more he thought about it. This sucked.

"Ladies and gentlemen and smeets and everyone in between," Voce greeted loudly as he stared into the main camera, "thank you all so much for tuning in! We apologize for the rescheduling but this time, we are ready to go!" He raised a hand, gesturing to Red's shape. "As you can see, we have our Almighty Tallest Red here with us. Firstly, I just want to thank you, my Tallest. I know you are busy and we are all so happy you are taking time out of your schedule to answer some questions and let your subjects know you're truly alive and well."

"Absolutely, Announcer Voce," Red nodded, trying to sound as suave and smooth as he could. He did have an image to maintain. "It's my pleasure." He couldn't let himself get flustered or let his head get too filled with too many invasive thoughts. When that happened, he sometimes couldn't find the right words to say. "It's the least I can do."

"Firstly, I just want to say how relieving and refreshing it is for you to be back once again. An Empire without its Tallest is incomplete. We've missed you dearly and we're happy to have you back at long last."

"The honor is mine, I'm delighted to be back and serving in my role once again. Thank you."

"So, you were in exile for two years. You were hopping from planet to planet, laying low until things got a little less wild. What was that like?"

Voce already told him about some questions and so he was able to rehearse and come up with his answers already. It was the trick questions that he was worried he might stumble on. But he was a Tallest. He had to have an answer for everything. If he didn't have an answer, it wouldn't make him look good.

"Sobering," Red answered. "Lonely but necessary. It was precarious on the Massive and while I was reluctant to leave, it was also something that couldn't be ignored. This was at the initial outbreak of rebellion and I admit, it was a huge mess. I could have handled things better but the divide that formed was…unexpected. When my co-Tallest and I were targeted numerous times and an alarming number of defectives and traitors began making themselves known, even on the Massive, the danger became that much clearer."

"You also instated Grand Advisor Rarl Kove as yours and Tallest Purple's replacement until your return," Voce continued. "And just a few days ago, he almost assassinated you. What are your thoughts on that exactly?"

"I would've preferred that he tried to kill me himself rather than rely on poison." Red noted bitterly. But he smirked. "But I'm not scared, I'm not deterred. And neither should any of my subjects feel the same way. For as long as we remain loyal and true to each other, none of these upstarts can ruin our Empire that we strove so long and so hard to build. It's just a shame that Rarl Kove became confused and decided on trying to eliminate me. But he is scheduled for an existence evaluation and that's that."

"It is a pity to not be able to trust and rely upon one of your closest advisors. He faithfully served under Tallest Miyuki and was prepared to serve for Tallest Spork as well but, eh, we don't really talk about that horrible day." He laughed briefly. "Anyway! Now that are back in command, what exactly are your goals? Your people are very eager to hear your policy on this whole fiasco and see how you want to fix this."

"Quickly and mercilessly. Rebellion and sympathy for the Resisty is not allowed in our Empire. For as long as it lingers and grows, it spreads that much faster. Getting at the root of it and destroying it is vital."

"You have various investigative committees running right now as well. You have some based at home on Irk to monitor and crush any rebels and you have others within the Armada itself."

"Correct. This is a serious threat and this has to be dealt with. It can't be ignored."

"Do you think that if Tallest Purple was around, you would be able to divide and conquer on these matters better?"

"Naturally! Two Tallest can be a very helpful thing. I have my strengths as he does and his help would've been very much appreciated and welcomed."

"Sometimes, two Tallest can be a very messy situation. Tallest Blitz and Tallest Danai were respectively the seventh and eighth Tallest and ruled side by side. Records indicate they did not get along and the two would even pay hitmen to take out their co-Tallest." Voce only laughed. "Yet I can clearly see that is not the case with you and Tallest Purple."

"Purple and I knew each other since our hatching. We were batchmates and we both trained in the Elite Corps. While I enrolled in the Armada and became proficient in piloting and ship schematics, he remained an Elite soldier, eventually becoming an expert marksman…" Great, he was hesitating. This was getting into potentially dicey territory. "We-we're similar. We simply get along and we've known each other for so long. We have our separate skills and strengths and we let the each other do what they want and can with our roles as Tallest."

"As so many know and have realized, Tallest Purple is still absent. Do you have any news or rumors of his whereabouts at all?"

This was the moment of truth. He truly hoped he wouldn't be condemning Purple's safety somehow.

"I recently made contact with Tallest Purple," Red revealed. "He is alive and well."

"That's very encouraging!" Voce rehearsed, already aware of the bombshell. "That’s excellent news! It’s very comforting! Do we know when he will rejoin us?"

"He is laying low for now but he has voiced his enthusiasm and eagerness with returning. Hopefully it is soon but even I don't know when he'll come back. That is his decision to make and his safety must be considered."

“I understand fully, my Tallest. But it is still good news! We'll be more than happy to celebrate his arrival when he does show up." Voce crossed his legs and frowned briefly before smiling again. "Now, my Tallest, I have another question. Actually, I'm sure many of us have the same thing in mind."

"Don't be afraid, Announcer Voce, say it."

"When you finally capture the leader of the Irken rebellion, what do you plan on doing to her?"

Red froze up. He knew exactly how to answer that question but he had to restrain himself. He had to stay calm and collected. The subject of Lyn infuriated him and all those horrible thoughts and feelings came rushing back to him.

This happened to be one of those curveball questions Voce had in mind. That rat.

"She will be contained and subjected to an existence evaluation," Red finally answered. He swallowed hard. "As a criminal and traitor, she will go through that process and the Control Brains will determine her fate."

But what was supposed to happen and what he wanted to happen were two wholly different things. Secretly, Red planned on making sure she'd never make it to Judgmentia. Just like how she left only gory, macabre scraps of Pax, Red would return the favor. He would completely annihilate her and throw her PAK into the closest sun.

He wanted her dead by his hand and no force was going to stop him. Not even the Control Brains would have a say in the matter.

"And the Resisty itself?" Voce pried further.

The Imperial Announcer had a talent for charisma and he very well knew how to do his job. But he had another gift. Perhaps it was because this was a subject very near and dear to Red or maybe it was because Voce liked to think himself to be a people person, that he knew how to read folks. But he read his Tallest so easily. He could see and feel the tension and negative emotions rolling off of him.

Ratings, gossip and drama. He lived for it.

And of course, he was already aware of that particularly close relationship between the Tallest and the former Control Brain technician. Voce reveled in it but didn't ever particularly capitalize on it. That would be insane and besides, Red was his Tallest. Not only that, what Irken didn't have some sort of metaphorical skeleton in their closet? Some were just simply better at keeping it hidden than others.

"They will all be destroyed," Red frowned. "Any race or individual who doesn't submit to or embrace the Irken Empire will be wiped out. It's as simple as that. Rebellion is not allowed. Rebellion is a challenge to my reign and I won't stand for it."

Red knew Voce was asking these questions to get a rise out of him. Fine, he'd play by that game. But he wasn't going to put on an icy façade. No, he was going to let Voce and all of the viewers know he meant business and he wasn't going to be trifled with.

To underestimate or call him disconnected was going to be a fatal mistake on their part.

(…)

Purple wasn't expecting to see this. He stared at the television screen, his eyes wide and his jaw hanging. The donut he was previously eating fell out of his maw and was hastily devoured by Bambi in return. The Tallest was completely ignorant to the canine's thievery, his attention totally devoted to what he was seeing.

He was looking through channels, bored and wanting to find something entertaining to watch. What were the odds that he happened to stumble across a live interview featuring his co-Tallest? This was something he couldn't have predicted at all.

Finally, he managed to snap himself out of his stunned state and he looked over his shoulder. He raised his voice and called out to you. He yelled your name, hoping you'd be out of the shower by now. There was no way that he'd let you miss out on this.

"What?" you answered him, literally stepping out of the shower.

"You have to see this!" he asserted. "Get out here, now!"

"I'm literally naked save for this towel around me!"

"I saw you naked last night, I don't care!"

"I'm wet, give me a freaking second!"

You growled in annoyance and hastily toweled yourself off. Yeah, you saw him naked and he saw you in the same state too but heck. You had a shred of decency. After stepping out of that hot shower, you were quickly becoming cold and you were understandably dripping. There was no way you were stepping out without some quick preparation.

"You'll never believe what's on the TV!" Purple elaborated.

"Honey, hold on!" you begged.

Hastily, you threw on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. You hung the towel up on the door rack and made your way out of the lavatory. This better have been good. If it somehow turned out that "The Mini Fishwife" was randomly being broadcast on alien TV, then you were going to strangle him. You were not going to be fumbling and rushing out for something you had a physical copy of in your movie collection.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," you murmured, walking into the living room area. "Purple, this better be good."

As soon as your eyes fixated on the TV screen, you understood immediately. Oh, God. He wasn't bluffing.

"Hey, Voce is still alive," Purple noted. "Nice to know, I guess."

You had since stopped in your tracks and you stood behind the sofa Purple was sitting on. All you could pay attention to was the larger of the two figures on the screen. He was lavishly dressed in some sort of red robes and you could clearly notice a scar on one side of his face. His eyes were colored red as well, matching one of the shades of that predominant color of his robes. But the thing that jarred you the most? He looked eerily similar to Purple.

"That's Red," you said, knowing in your gut who this was. It just had to be him.

"Ding, ding, ding!" Purple chuckled. "You won the grand prize!"

"So that's the guy I heard so much about. That's your buddy. That's your co-Tallest."

"Yeah." Purple leaned forward, getting closer to the screen. "…did he get taller or am I imagining things?"

"You might get demoted?"

"Duh! He can't rule on his own, he's too much of a nerd! We have to rule together!"

"You thinking he grew taller doesn't necessarily mean he actually did."

Purple fell silent. Then he leaned back and snorted.

"I guess," he relented.

This was your very first time actually seeing him even if it was through a television broadcast. The look he wore on his face was very severe and grave. In fact, he looked pissed. In fact, it somewhat intimidated you. Like you would most likely be hesitant to piss him off. Then again, you knew how scary Purple could be if he was pushed enough as well. You knew that firsthand.

But Red and this other individual were speaking in their coarse, native tongue which left you lost in translation. During your time travelling with Purple, he taught you some basics of the Irken language. You also learned some of their alphabet and you were thankful that their numerical system (strangely enough) was the same as Earth's. But you couldn't keep up with them. You could only translate fragments of their dialogue. Yet you could tell Red was speaking in an increasingly heated manner. He was getting passionate, maybe even angry.

"Voce is baiting him," Purple said suddenly. "He knows how to get to people."

"The guy with the helmet and the cloak that looks like a rug is named Voce?" you asked.

Purple snickered at your description.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "He's the top Imperial Announcer. His job is to broadcast news, announcements, y'know, things like that. He's really popular and he has a lot of fans."

"He's kind of like an Irken movie star?"

"Bingo. It also helps that he's tall. Voce's not as tall as me or Red but he's up there. He's tall enough to be in the line of succession."

Finally, you came around to the other side of the couch. Then you took a seat next to Purple, joining him.

You narrowed your gaze and listened closely. You could make out some words but it was still largely elusive to you. If you were going to be in proximity to a shit load of Irken in the future, you needed to be more learned and verbally competent. You were more than aware that their PAKs were downloaded with every language of every planet that they visited or was slated for conquest but you still wanted to learn their tongue. If Purple and Zim could speak English pretty well, there were chances all of them could as well. You tried speaking Irken but when you did, you sounded as if you were having a stroke. Although the idea of PAKs made you uncomfortable, the ability to speak and understand a countless slew of languages was a huge benefit in your eyes.

"He's talking about destruction," you said, trying to translate. "He wants to destroy someone or something?"

You noticed Purple's antennae go rigid. His form bristled and it almost looked like he became a statue for an instant.

"Oh, I knew it," he growled, his teeth displayed in a snarl.

"What?" you asked.

"Red almost got assassinated. And he wasn't almost killed by a random drone. Rarl Kove did it. I never liked him, he always rubbed me the wrong way. I should've dismissed him but Red trusted him."

"Who was he?"

"One of our advisors. He was the one we left in control while we went into exile." Then he smiled cruelly. "But he was foiled and now he's going in for an existence evaluation. Good. Let him perish." He pulled you to his side. "It's good for you too. That means his nasty, greasy claws won't get on you. Oh, because if they did… There would be nothing left of him to even use for an existence evaluation. And that's a promise."

Red was nearly eliminated. Perhaps these traitors and assassins would try to do the same to Purple when he'd inevitably showed up. You were more than aware that a lot of people had a less than savory opinion about him. Many of them wanted him dead. But hearing about the botched killing just added another layer of reality to this situation. If Purple wasn't careful, if he didn't try to fix his mistakes, he might not be so lucky.

"You have to make a promise for me, Purple," you said, your voice earnest and clear.

He didn't speak, sensing what may be on your mind. He eyed you softly, his antennae losing their stiffness and going slacker. Arms came around you as he embraced you, holding you closer to him.

"I'm not gonna die," he swore. "Not me."

"You have to be careful, Purple, please!" you pleaded. "Red got lucky but I wonder if his luck will run out and it will happen to you too."

"Why did you think I said I gotta work on myself and take things more seriously? I can't be a loser anymore. And that includes watching out for myself and for you. If I get stronger and better, the greater the chances of survival we have for the both of us. I don't want you to be afraid. I want you to rely on me and I want to keep you safe and happy. I won't fail like Red did." He went quiet for a moment. "The more I think back on him and Pax, the more I learn from it. I refuse to end up like him because honestly… I don't think anyone should go through that. I don't know how it'd turn out and I don't plan on figuring it out."

He had the tendency to not filter very well. Sometimes he did an alright job with it and other times were abysmal failures. However, you liked that trait. It was honest and he pulled no punches. If you asked him something, more than likely, you were going to get a real, legitimate answer. It might be brutal or inappropriate in some instances but it was still appreciated.

"I will be careful," he said. "I'm not gonna leave my Human all alone especially while she's far from home. I know what I have to do. You just have to trust me. Trust me like the way we trusted each other last night." He gave you a small smile and set a kiss on your cheek. "Can you do that?"

Yes. It was definitely doable.

"Okay," you said. "I can. I trust you, Purple."

"Great," he muttered, his smile still remaining. He kissed your other cheek. "After all, what good am I if I can't take care of my mate?"

Ah. This was a thing now. Having sex with an Irken now meant you were married to them. Or at least in his eyes, that's what it meant. He was fully prepared for the long haul and wasn't afraid of it.

Perhaps it might've been a bit naïve and foolish on Purple's part but you'd roll with it. You loved him as much as he loved you. You'd roll with it. And besides, you figured it was pretty cool to be so quickly married. It was way less complicated and cheaper than an Earth wedding anyway. 

You only hoped you’d never regret it in the long run. You were already going above and beyond for him and you were plotting to commit some rather insane and dangerous things. And it was going to be for him regardless of whether he would ever understand it or not. 

Yeah. Maybe he might as well be your husband at this point.

(…)

"There has been no news regarding the whereabouts of the Mad Invader lately. See, this is what many of the folks call her. And many citizens have concerns about her possibly hiding on our homeworld and poised  to sabotage it from within. My Tallest, can you at least comment on this matter and assure your subjects?"

"We have our suspicions she is somewhere within the outer boundaries of the Empire or in regions untouched by it. We have military forces within the Armada and we have the Home Defense Force which is prepared to protect Irk and deal with any internal threats. It doesn't matter where she and her friends are hiding or what they're doing. What does matter is that they will be found, they will be brought to justice and every single one of them will be killed."

"Oh, that cuts me so deep, Red."

Damaged eyes peered into the clear prisms of the gem she was holding in her hand. She turned it over, examining the blue diamond as the soft glow of the control panels inside of her ship refracted through the object. She was silent, admiring one of the additions of her collection while she listened to the broadcast.

Lyn knew she wouldn't be able to watch it. That would be far too distracting. She needed to be calm and collected. Her energy had to be devoted on catching up with her quarry and getting one part of her plan finished. She refused to deviate from it.

This diamond, this thing in her hand, could far outlast her. If kept under the right conditions, perhaps it would last forever. It was hard, durable beautiful and emotionless. And it would remain that way until the ending of the universe.

She sat up in her seat and tapped a button on a panel. Her prey made a brief pit stop on Planet Number Thirty-Four. Gradually, the ship was making its way deeper into Empire-controlled territory. The beacon was still working just fine and it was doing its job flawlessly. Lyn was still a ways off from catching up but she was patient. At least she found him and was following.

While she already decided on what to do with Tallest Purple, she was still unsure about the Earthling that was travelling with him. Gen Tso said they were close and Lyn knew exactly what that meant. It tickled her that Purple had fallen for an alien creature. On one hand, she was so curious and genuinely wanted to meet this Human female. She wanted to talk to her and figure her out, trying to see what Purple saw in this individual. But on the other hand, she wanted nothing more than to make him hurt and she knew that harming the Human would certainly get a reaction out of him.

But the end goal would be the same would no matter what. Two dead Tallest, the position abolished, the Empire destroyed and something greater and more respectable reborn from its ashes. That was her vision and she would make it a reality. She wanted to see it realized with her own eyes.

"Thank you so much for your time, my Tallest. Really, it has been an honor and I can say on behalf of all of us, thank you for addressing us. I will not keep you any longer."

"Of course, Announcer Voce. This was definitely needed and I'm happy to let my subjects know I am alive, well and able. And I encourage every single one of you to not be afraid and to do your part in this. Eventually, this threat will be eliminated and everything will be better before we know it."

Lyn assumed the interview was finally done. There was a pause but then she heard him resume speaking. For the first time since she first listened in, she looked away from her beloved diamond.

"And I want to give a little shoutout to the Mad Invader herself… I want you to know that you can hide, scheme and do whatever you think that will help you win. But that is one victory you will never get your claws on. You will not achieve whatever fantasy you cooked up in that insane head of yours. You might think you have a chance because you teamed up with the Resisty. You might think you have an advantage because you turned so many defects against their Tallest. But the short answer is this; no. You will be caught, you will be evaluated and you will be erased. You will not ruin all the effort that went into making this Empire that took thousands and thousands of years and twenty-six and a half Tallest to create. I will die before I see you win, Lyn. And I will take you with me if it ever comes down to it. That's a promise."

Her mouth curled back, showing off the peeved, unhappy snarl displayed on her face. But as she listened more and as those words sunk in, that frown turned upside down. And when that happened, it only grew wider and more unsettling. At the end of it, each of her teeth were visible as she grinned menacingly.

He called her out. He was challenging her. He did not forget about her.

It was so, so bittersweet. He refused to acknowledge her when she was still faithful and an accomplished Invader. Red ignored her and wanted to pretend she didn't exist. He only fully recognized her when she eliminated Pax and betrayed him. He only saw her when she was covered in the blood of her rival. The Tallest finally paid attention to her at that fatal instant.

She tried so hard to convince him, to show him her merit, her worth. She was a warrior. She was respected and her colleagues either looked up to her or envied her. She was not very tall but she thought her accomplishments could maybe make up for that literal shortcoming. But it was never enough. It would never be enough for that matter.

"You will not achieve whatever fantasy you cooked up in that insane head of yours…"

That fantasy was long dead. She wanted his love, his adoration, his appreciation. Her wish was only that. Lyn liked to think that she was simple. She only wanted to do her job and receive recognition and affection from the one Irken she was infatuated with her whole life.

Yet he never reciprocated, he never expressed his gratitude. No. He was wholly devoted to that useless, taller female. Pax was no warrior and she wasn't notably gifted in combat either even during basic, mandatory, military training. Her greatest asset was her mind and her forte was tinkering and repairing. Red was smitten with her.

Lyn hated it and she couldn't understand it. She still couldn't.

Once more, her expression changed. The sick glee on her face morphed gradually. Bitterness and grief contorted her features.

She swapped one fantasy out for another. Earlier, she wanted to be with him. Now, she wanted nothing more than to destroy his life and everything her cared about. She already let one wish rot and wither. There was no way she was going to let this newer desire be unfulfilled.

"…I will die before I see you win, Lyn."

She knew that he hated her. Years ago, she would've done everything in her power to prevent that. However, she realized it was far easier to win his hate than his love. It was impossible to try harder than she already had.

Lyn didn't want to admit it, not even to herself, but she still lamented over it. It was a personal failure and every Irken absolutely hated experiencing this feeling. That was one battle she could never win. He was the one goal she never achieved.

She squeezed the diamond in her hand. Her whole arm shook as she applied pressure to it. Tears pinpricked in the corners of her eyes.

Any hope that he would return her love was long gone.

Lyn believed she fully moved on. But that thought lingered in the back of her mind. The reality that she failed and she never could really win him over, tormented her. Even now, it tore her apart.

In a fit of burning rage, she chucked the diamond at the display screen, cracking the monitor. Lyn screamed and dug her claws into her hands so harshly that they bled. And as she trailed after her target, she screamed and screamed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 32 Reroute to Ravia

(one week later – the Massive)

Morale definitely improved. Just like Voce insisted, the ratings climbed and a vast majority of the Irken populace tuned in for the special. They watched it and many were very happy with the content and outcome of it. Red didn't want to admit it but the interview was a good idea. The people of Irk were happy to see their Tallest in the live broadcast. They were placated, delighted to see him alive and ready to do whatever was necessary to secure the future of the Empire. It was assuring to know that many folks back at home still supported him and his plan.

Nothing particularly notable happened since his live interview. There were no more attempts on his life. There were no interesting or suspicious things reported to him by Lime. They didn't even come across any Resisty vessels as the Armada continued along their flightpath. Things were uneventful and calm and maybe he felt some relief with that.

It was during this period of peace that he was able to think long and hard about something. Red figured that maybe it was because of Rarl Kove's treachery that he was now having second thoughts. The secrecy of this co-Tallest's exact position and whereabouts was a mystery to everyone, even to himself. He wasn't even sure where Purple precisely was but he assumed he was making his way to the Massive thanks to the supplied coordinates and flight path. He believed Purple was making a beeline for the Armada and theoretically, to safety.

But the more and more he mulled the matter over, the more paranoid and wary Red became. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to lure Purple to the Massive. Maybe, somehow, someone would be able to find out and sabotage it all. It was a risk he found himself pondering over frequently.

He needed Purple alive. He needed his help. Secretly, he almost felt like he couldn't navigate this mess unless if he had him with him.

Not only that, Red had his private suspicions and anxieties. Perhaps it was so mellow because spies were plotting or biding their time at the very least. But Lime insisted nothing seemed out of place or alarming. She even resorted to crawling through air vents to travel undetected through the maze of the internal architecture of the flagship. Her discreet and stealthy observations provided nothing.

Red suspected that perhaps any traitors were either laying very low or perhaps some had abandoned their objectives altogether. As far as he was concerned, anything was possible. And that was what worried him.

Because of these circumstances, he deemed that maybe a change in plans was in order. Waiting for Purple to make it to the Massive on his own was perhaps too risky. If he was going to explain things to him when he'd arrive, Red would be fretting over spies and traitors eavesdropping. Potentially, it could be messy.

It might make him look bad but Red saw that perhaps he'd have to depart from the Massive again. Maybe meeting up with Purple beforehand would be safest and wisest. That way, he could brief his friend on everything that had been going on in person. He was still hesitant to even privately message him. Seeing him physically was becoming increasingly tempting the longer he gave thought to it.

Red looked around his chambers, seeing that they were empty. Spindul was busy laundering some of his robes and Lime was off duty for the next hour. Kookee and Bepzee were lounging about in the kitchens waiting for him to request them to procure something. It was one of these rare moments where he was alone.

Satisfied, a compartment opened up on his PAK. A mechanical limb shot out of the contraption and extended over his shape. It lowered itself in front of him and a pink light at the tip of the limb flickered on. Then the light turned into the shape of a star map, displaying the Massive's position on it as well.

Red leaned in closer to the holographic map, studying it. He looked farther ahead of the Massive's flightpath, coming across a few planets that would soon be stumbled across. Sucra, the sugar mine planet and Amusia-6, the amusement park planet, were the closest worlds to the Massive at this point. Sucra would take about a day to get there. The other planet would roughly take four days.

He did his calculations; neither of these planets would be suitable as a meeting place. They were too close to organize this pitstop. The Tallest looked closer, trying to see if he could find an alternative. There had to be something that was a little farther off that Purple could reach around the same time he could. He saw he'd have to end up contacting Purple so he could doublecheck on his exact position.

He zoomed out on the map, expanding the scope of it. Further along the flightpath, he spotted a third planet. It looked like a ten day journey from his position. He would patiently wait on that planet a few days for Purple if he was a bit behind. It seemed like a reasonable candidate.

Now he'd have to make a few calls.

(…)

He woke up to hear an incessant beeping coming from his PAK. Purple snorted unhappily, wishing he'd remain undisturbed and asleep. As far as he was concerned, he was warm and comfortable and certainly had no desire to be roused. All he wanted was to rest and not have to get up. Instantly, he was in a bad mood.

His eyes opened up and they parted, seeing you sleeping atop him. He growled quietly, hating having to get up and stir you in the process. Very gingerly and trying his hardest to not disturb you, he slid you off of him. He wormed his way out from under you, freeing himself.

Purple ignored the beeping for the moment, wanting to make sure you were secure and comfortable. Some of his grumpiness melted away as he looked on your still slumbering shape. A smile cracked across his face and he gave your forehead a very soft kiss. Then he tucked you in, making sure you were warm beneath the sheets and wanting you to stay asleep as long as you desired. If he had to get up, then the least he could do was let your rest a bit longer.

He shrugged off the fact he was wearing nothing but his black leggings. He was totally bare on the top but he honestly could care less. Besides, he liked not having the pressure of the corseting rings around his spine. His body could take a nice break from those restrictive implements.

But when he realized who was actually contacting him, he almost tripped over his own feet. He definitely had to light a fire under it now. His clawed feet lightly clinked on the floor under him and he hustled out of the bedroom.

Once he exited the room and the door shut behind him, he finally addressed it. The miniature screen popped out from his PAK and he answered it. He hoped it wasn't too pressing or wasn't an actual emergency. Purple wasn't ready for something like that just yet.

"Red!" Purple greeted, shooting him a smile. "What's up?"

He could see that Red was eyeing him curiously. The Tallest even tilted his head to the side, examining Purple. It was becoming increasingly awkward as long as this silence persisted.

"You're not wearing a top?" Red asked, confused.

Purple gave Red an incredulous look that could only be interpreted as "wow, dude, seriously?". He was in no mood to be lectured by Red over something like this.

"I was sleeping when you contacted me, you woke me up," the other leader explained. That wasn't a lie. But Red didn't need to know just yet he had an Earthling in his bed with him. "So, what's going on?"

"I think we should switch up our plan a bit." Red seemed satisfied with the explanation and quickly moved onto the actual subject at hand. "Y'know, I'm thinking maybe it'll be easier and safer if we met up before you actually making it to the Massive."

"Is it because of Rarl Kove and you being worried?"

"Yeah. I'm suspicious and I'm not…" He paused. "I guess you watched that interview?"

"Heck yeah I did! You did a pretty good job! I know you don't like them but you passed with flying colors, man."

"But yeah, long story short, he put poison in my soda and I almost died. I think we need to meet up where we can chat and I can tell you everything in person. Is that okay?"

"That's okay. We'll do what we gotta. You got a planet in mind?"

"Check your ship's star map. I do have a planet planned though. It depends on if you're close enough to it."

Purple nodded and walked up to the cockpit. He let out a yawn and made his way to the front of the ship. Honestly, he wasn't bothered by this change. Actually, he kind of preferred it more. That just meant he got to meet up with Red that much quicker. As far as he was concerned, he was alright with that. He'd appreciate something like this before actually rejoining the Armada.

Once he made it to the pilot's seat, he plopped down into it. The screen levitated by his side as he drew up the map. He could see the markers that indicated his ship and the Massive's. Gradually, they were definitely getting closer. He did make a lot of progress. Fortunately, there was no way he'd be travelling a year to make it to the Armada. That was just a gross miscalculation.

"How close are you to Ravia?" Red asked.

Purple typed in the planet's name into the computer. It instantly brought up the planet, giving a brief synopsis of it along with an image. The estimated time of arrival was over a week but not more than two weeks.

"A little under two weeks away from it," Purple said. "But we can probably make better time if I go a little faster. I just gotta be careful with fuel consumption if that's the case."

"It's about ten days from the Massive's current location to Ravia," Red said, comparing his own estimations. "You wanna meet up there?"

"Sure. Haven't been to Ravia since we became Tallest and we had a party there." Purple cackled. "You got so drunk you passed out in the chocolate fountain in the penthouse."

"Oh, ha, ha, very funny… Meanwhile, you couldn't hold any of your liquor down. You were puking it all up!"

"It'll be different this time, I can promise you that. I just didn't find the right thing for me." He laughed again. "But it was a really great time."

"But that also means I won't be around on the Massive. I have a replacement in mind until we come back. This time, I'm not going to leave things in the hands of advisors who secretly want us gone. The next in line is gonna step up. I trust him."

Purple knew exactly whom Red was referring to. He was an older Irken but wasn't ancient like the Grand Prefect. When he was younger and smaller, Purple was actually somewhat afraid of him. During Miyuki's reign, this individual was actually the Tallest's personal cook and out of gratitude and thanks for his service, she gifted him his own planet to govern and maintain.

"He's gonna be our regent?" Purple asked, making sure he was on the same page as Red.

"Yup," Red confirmed. "We should've asked him to step up to the task before we left earlier. But, eh, we weren't thinking. Let me make the arrangements, reroute your way to Ravia and I'll meet you there. When you get there, check in with Kaus."

"Ugh, him." Purple rolled his eyes and sighed. "I forgot he was there. Fine."

"Yeah, he's kind of weird but he seems loyal enough for us to meet up there safely without him betraying us. We can trust Kaus. We'll be okay. I'll let you go, I don't want to stay on and risk having our call intercepted."

"Okay, okay. Seeya around, Red. Be careful."

Red didn't bother to say anything else and the screen went blank. Purple simply lazed in his chair, still trying to wake up fully. Now that his friend was done with the call, he forgot that he was still a bit tired.

He grinned toothily to himself as he looked over his shoulder, glancing back towards the other portion of the ship. Perhaps he could easily fall back to sleep if he reclaimed his spot in the bed. It was worth a shot.

(…)

Red ceased the call and the screen turned to static. Time was of the essence and he had to kick some other gears into motion. He was just happy that his new plan was simple enough to execute so far. So far, so good.

As soon as he finished talking with his co-Tallest, he scrolled through his contacts list. He located the other party in no time and hastily connected with their line. Patiently, he waited, listening to the beeping on the fellow Irken's end, hoping he'd be available. He couldn't afford any delays or obstructions.

Red respected this older male, that went without saying. The fact that he was one of the Irken lords and ran his own planet was another qualification that he saw as fit and able for duty. Plus, he was already familiar with the position of Tallest since he served Miyuki closely. More than anything else, Red believed this might be a change of pace for him. Maybe it'd be like something of a vacation or maybe a challenge.

He was shaken from his thoughts and recollections when he saw a flash of purple eyes pop up on the screen. Red beheld the face and upper body of the Fry-lord. The dark rings around his eyes were still as prominent as ever, just like the scar above his right eye. Red could see the grime and grease that stained his apron along with the name tag that clearly displayed his name. And while he usually wore a gruff, stern expression, this time, he looked utterly bamboozled and perhaps maybe even a bit startled.

"My Tallest!" he greeted, lifting his white hat and wiggling his antennae respectfully at him. "I'm sorry, sir, but I wasn't expecting you to personally contact me like this. I'm confused more than anything else. How can I help?"

"Nice to see you, Sizz-Lorr," Red nodded, appreciating his gesture. "I have a favor to ask you for. Can I trust you?"

"I'll do what I can, my Tallest. And yes, I won't disappoint you."

"I'm sure you've seen my interview?"

"I have, sir."

"Then you should know about the liars and traitors crawling all over the Massive. You know about Rarl Kove's treachery and you know that Tallest Purple is alive but his whereabouts are publicly unknown. I know where he will be stopping in a few days and I want to go out and privately meet up with him. I want to tell him about everything on the Massive and give him enough preparation and warning before he rejoins us. Now here's where you come in, Sizz-Lorr. I want you to temporarily leave Foodcourtia and fill in as commander of the Massive and regent until Purple and I come back. This should only last a few weeks."

Sizz-Lorr was already surprised to have Red call him. But now he was absolutely astonished with what he was asking of him. The Fry-lord was caught completely off guard and for a few seconds, he literally had no idea how to react. This was something he hadn't even anticipated at all.

At first, he dared to think that this was a joke. He knew Red and Purple could be jokesters at times but he had a hunch this wasn't some scheme or test of sorts. Judging by the stony face his Tallest wore, Sizz-Lorr knew this was a call of duty. And from what he had watched of that interview, he knew that Red was cracking down and taking his duties more seriously than he ever had before. It was actually encouraging and the older Irken was happy that his Tallest was stepping up more and acting like a proper leader.

"You see, Purple and I made a huge mistake when we first went into exile," Red said, feeling ashamed. "We should've asked you to fill in but we panicked and Rarl Kove was onboard with us and that's why we gave the power to him. Then that whole assassination mess happened and I don't want to ask anyone else but you to do this. Technically, you're next in line to become Tallest and I think you're more than qualified. You served under Almighty Miyuki as a staff member and you manage Foodcourtia."

"I will have to make preparations for this, sir!" Sizz-Lorr explained. "I will have to find someone to fill in for me in my absence and…"

"Find whoever you need. Foodcourtia is only a day's journey from the Massive according to the numbers I have here. I need you here immediately, Sizz-Lorr. I cannot leave my position until you are on this ship. I'm leaving nothing to chance."

The daunting Fry-lord nodded, understanding what his Tallest was asking of him. It was an honor to have his leader reach out and request his help. He wouldn't disappoint him and he'd do his best to serve as regent. Sure, it was under very short notice and he was caught completely off guard but he'd obey him. Besides, it was like a mandatory vacation of sorts but more than anything else, it was a brief promotion. He'd be a fool if he persisted in refusing.

"Let me gather my things and I'll see you in one day, my Tallest!" Sizz-Lorr saluted Red. Then he turned to someone who was offscreen. He raised his voice and hurried off, most likely forgetting to disconnect since he was too preoccupied with preparing to leave. "Gashloog, you're the manager now!"

Not feeling keen on eavesdropping and not wanting to waste more time, Red ended the video call. Now that two calls were concluded, Red had to prepare for his own departure. He had a lot of things to make ready for Sizz-Lorr's arrival.

(a few hours later)

"Ravia?"

"I think I told you about it once before. It's the Empire's official party planet."

You supposed this was all fine. A little alteration of the plan wasn't so bad and besides, maybe it'd be good if Purple reunited with his co-Tallest a little earlier than expected. He explained to you that Red was doing it for Purple's own good and you were relieved that the other emperor clearly cared for him. He was going out of his way to reach out to him and get him warmed up to the exact situation brewing on the Massive.

However, this also meant you'd be meeting him for the first time in turn. Ravia was still a few days off from arrival but you knew you had to mentally prepare yourself. Red certainly made a first impression on you when you saw him during the live broadcast. Purple also referenced him many times during his stay on Earth and it seemed like Red was the more serious and proactive out of the two. While they looked so eerily similar physically, their personalities were definitely distinct and different from the other.

"It's not like Lumus," Purple explained as he finished up the rest of his breakfast. He lifted up the bowl and drank the soda that the cereal previously floated in. "It's fully industrialized and there are neon lights and nightclubs everywhere. Think of the Honey Pot but planet sized."

"I get the gist of it," you said. You knelt down and gave Baby her willow chew toy. The rabbit honked in delight and eagerly began to munch away on the twiggy object. "That should be interesting. As long as it's not like that creepy convenience store planet… We're not gonna get jumped by more space pirates, are we?"

"Oh, no. Ravia is way farther into the Empire so it's more monitored and there are usually more soldiers there than on planets on the fringe. Ravia is considered an important planet so it's especially more secure and protected. The worst things you have to worry about there are violent drunks. But they're usually quickly collected and thrown into detention blocks by bouncers and guards before things get out of hand."

You suspected that the Irken race liked to party. Hell, you knew Humans did too. You liked attending the occasional event too granted that you were with the right folks and it was under the right conditions.

"So lemme guess what the plan is," you said. "Meet Red and party?"

"Right on," Purple smirked. "It's definitely gonna be a celebration, babe! I haven't been to Ravia since Red and I had our coronation bash. It'll be fun to revisit and hold another party there! I promise, you won't be bored, you'll have fun."

"Will it be necessary for you to use your disguise and cloak the ship when we first arrive?"

"To be on the safe side, yeah. But Red said he was gonna arrange everything for our arrival so when we land, we should be good. We'll be guests of honor!"

He was optimistic so you would be as well. The incident with the pirates and the subsequent fight you had with him was the worst thing you experienced so far and you hoped your luck would remain. Nothing happened in the time since you left Bob and his crew behind and you prayed it would remain that way.

Ravia was going to be secure. It'd be a haven and you'd be able to unwind more and have some fun. Having a few drinks on a nightclub planet sounded pretty fun actually. The last time you had a beverage was during that horrible night at Kendra's place and you hadn't been keen on imbibing since then. You planned to change that when you'd make it to your destination though.

"There are more than just nightclubs and bars too," Purple said. "There are plenty of luxury restaurants and there are some pretty cool aquariums too. It's a tourist destination of sorts anyway… Lots of aliens come there to visit and it's insanely popular with inhabitants of the Empire and those who are allied with us." He grasped one of your hands. "How about this… When I'm done talking to Red or we need a break or something, we'll go out. I'll show you around and take you out on a date. I can take you to a restaurant and we can go check out an aquarium or two. Then maybe we can relax on the penthouse's balcony for the rest of the night." He smiled. "Does that sound good?"

His smile was contagious. When he did it, you ended up joining him as well. When he wasn't annoying you at times, he was making you smile. Purple was rather good at it too.

"A date sounds nice," you nodded. "I'd like that, hon. I don't think we ever had an official date anyway…"

"I'd like to think that night at the Honey Pot was our first date," he snickered.

"Oh, you didn't like me that much at that point, you're full of it."

"I liked you better after that night. And I liked you more and more every single day since then. Everything else just pretty much speaks for itself, right?"

He kissed your knuckles.

"I guess so, yeah," you said, a little shy.

"You'll also be meeting the governor of Ravia," Purple added, his smile suddenly melting away. "He's called Party-lord Kaus. He's…weird."

You could hear contempt in his voice. Clearly, he wasn't that fond of this individual. Knowing Purple, it was probably for some petty, ridiculous reason. Chances were that Kaus was probably a decent guy like Bob. You hoped to God you wouldn't end up finding out Purple owed someone else a sizable sum of money.

"Can you tell me about him?" you asked, deciding to take a gamble and pry into the matter.

"He's a creep," Purple explained, flattening his antennae against the back of his head.

That was pretty cryptic. There were a million and one reasons for one to be given that label. And that depended on the person doing the labeling to begin with.

"Come on, you gotta give me more info than that," you prodded.

"He's mated with more people than any other person in the universe!" he blurted out.

…you weren't ready to hear that. Maybe Purple was jealous or insecure about Kaus' romantic conquests?

"That depends on the context," you said, treading delicately.

"He's mated with some Irken females in the past from what I’ve heard and he's done even more aliens than from his own species," Purple revealed. "He's gross and he needs to keep his gonads to himself."

"You do realize we've had relations, right?" You scoffed. "Multiple times might I add. You’ve got down with an alien too, hon. And I have too in that respect. We're not that different than him."

"But you're my only female and I want you and no one else. Kaus mates with everything he can get his claws on. He's what Earthlings call a 'whore'. The only reason why Red and I haven't gotten rid of him is because he does his job well and he has remained loyal to us."

You remembered how repulsed his species was regarding things of the carnal nature. So maybe something like a freer and more…driven individual like Kaus might disgust and shock him. It was a bit surprising to hear about something like this but you understood that the Irken race came in all sorts of shapes, sizes and defects. For as ideal as they were supposed to be, in reality, they were anything but that. Maybe he really was more active and brazen or Purple could've been overreacting to Kaus' activities.

"I don't think he's ever seen an Earthling and I've got a feeling he's gonna try to get too friendly with you," he went on. "I'm not gonna tolerate it. I want you to stay away from him for your own good."

"I'll just be polite when I meet him," you said. "But okay, I appreciate your warning, Purple. I'll keep an eye out for anything."

"Oh, he's gonna get a warning from me too so he knows that you're off limits. If he ignores it and insists on pursuing you, it will not be pretty. I'm leaving it at that. He's not taking my mate from me."

You could hear the wrath mounting in his voice. You hugged his head to your middle and you massaged the base of his right antennae. You let out a small giggle when you heard him purr loudly and nuzzle into your belly. He needed to deflate and take it easy.

"It's okay, I promise," you spoke calmly, trying to soothe and placate him. "I'm not gonna contract space syphilis from him. Nothing will happen. I already have such a handsome man that I love and wouldn't dump."

"Really?" he asked almost too innocently.

"Yes." You kissed the top of his skull. "I promise. Besides, I highly doubt he's as handsome, sweet, brave, funny and attractive as you are."

Purple's whole face darkened and he promptly buried it deeper into your middle. Oh, he was way too easy to flatter and fluster. This was something you'd never get sick of. It was way too fun.

(one day later – the Massive)

"Everything is loaded and ready to go when you are, my Tallest."

Red turned his gaze downwards, meeting his gaze with Lime's. She nodded her head at him once and gave him a small smile.

"My ship is warmed up too?" he asked.

"Yes, sir!" Lime replied.

"Excellent. When Sizz-Lorr arrives, I'll brief him on the basics and important things and I'll be off."

Very quickly, Lime learned her Tallest wasn't very predictable. Once she thought she understood him or was sure about his motivations or plans for that matter, he'd end up proving her wrong. Maybe it was because so much stress and responsibility weighed on his shoulders. Maybe he was afraid of another attempt on his life or of failure for that matter. It almost seemed like he was scatterbrained but the former table drone didn't dare to suggest a thing out loud.

He only reclaimed his office not even half a year ago and now he was relieving himself of his duties again. Personally, Lime thought it wasn't a smart move. It was risky and him leaving once more might draw criticism and perhaps even the Control Brains themselves might voice their disapproval at this latest development. Lime believed Red had to stay to maintain order and prove himself further. But she knew he made his mind and wouldn't change it this time. She was already aware he was doing it for Purple's sake.

Only in times of emergency was a regent called in. Rarl Kove had served as regent for two years and now the Fry-lord of Foodcourtia was serving as Red's substitute. Speaking from personal experience, Lime believed Sizz-Lorr was the far superior choice. While she didn't agree with her Tallest's decision to leave, she did approve of his decision to choose this certain candidate.

Sizz-Lorr had a reputation that far preceded him and many Irken feared, admired and respected him. He didn't tolerate laziness, idleness and insubordination. But he rewarded those under his command for their merits and effort and was generally liked despite his intimidating and unsettling countenance.

So, Lime was confident that he would be able to enforce order and discipline during Red's absence. Besides, the Fry-lord was only going to reign for a few weeks, most likely for less than a month. It would nowhere be as long as Rarl Kove's stint.

But there was also another update that startled her. Lime hadn't expected to be accompanying her Tallest to Ravia. The other members of the staff were remaining behind on the Massive so they could serve Sizz-Lorr temporarily. Initially, she thought she would join them in their reassignment yet Red surprised her for the umpteenth time. What was strangest was that he wouldn't elaborate exactly as to why he wanted her to join him. Red only said he would explain it all to her when they actually left to start the trip. And he also said that the job he had in mind for her was very important and that's why he decided on having her tag along.

It made her feel anxious. But she would trust Red. The amount of time that she served under him was nothing compared to the length she endured with her former master but Lime knew which one she preferred already. That was a no brainer. Her Tallest treated her better than Rarl Kove ever did. She would never regret betraying the Grand Advisor.

"Sizz-Lorr should be here any minute now," Red said. "We have a tight schedule and I'd like to get to Ravia a little before or right as Purple gets there."

"I understand, sir," Lime responded. "Shall I let the pilot know to standby?"

"I'm the pilot, Lime."

"…I see, sir. Very well. I'll just go onboard and wait. Is that alright?"

"Make sure you have all your belongings because we’re leaving as soon as I am done with him."

"Absolutely, my Tallest!"

Lime hustled off towards the ship that would be taking them to Ravia. She wasted no time and climbed aboard it, making sure that she did have all her belongings and change of clothes with her.

Red folded his hands behind his back and waited. His eyes stared out into the void of space, waiting for his replacement. He was going to be here any minute, he knew it. The crew on the control bridge informed him he was due to show up an hour ago. And now an hour was just about up.

He was antsy. Time was pretty crucial and it was going to take a few days to get to Ravia. Red wanted to be as punctual and efficient as possible with getting there. There was a war going on after all.

A wave of relief swept over him when he spotted a ship closing in. The order was given to not shoot on the approaching vessel and luckily it was being enforced. Red was anxious and hoped he wasn't relaying this command to bunch of trigger-happy, secretive rebels.

The regent's ship slowed down and slipped past the forcefield that separated the Massive's hangar bay from the cold void of space. Red held his ground, watching as the vessel alighted onto the reserved space. He reared himself up to his full height, intending to impress Sizz-Lorr.

When the craft finally parked and settled, the bay doors parted. Steam hissed from vents and the exhaust and a small, retractable set of stairs slid out from beneath the doorway. Red could see the tall, hulking form of the Fry-lord approach as he exited the ship. The Tallest maintained his posture and shot Sizz-Lorr a small smile.

The large, purple-eyed Irken toted a suitcase in one hand as he walked down the stairs and finally set foot on the Massive. Despite his temporary reassigning, Sizz-Lorr still wore his apron and Fry-lord garb but at least it was clean and crisp and not covered in stains and filth like it usually was. Red almost burst out laughing upon seeing him wearing his usual outfit.

He looked around the wide, spacious hangar, having never boarded the Irken flagship before. Honestly, he was impressed. To him, it felt so strange to be on a ship as large as or bigger than some planets. Tallest Miyuki was certainly ambitious and it was only a shame she didn't live to see the completion of this engineering marvel.

"My Tallest," Sizz-Lorr greeted. Once more, he took off his headpiece and wiggled his antennae in salute. "I've arrived.”

"Perfectly too," Red acknowledged. He was relieved. "Thanks for coming on such short notice."

"Did you get taller, sir?"

A surge of pride ran through Red. He made sure he was standing as straight and as stiffly as he could muster. It was confirmed that he had grown a little during his exile but to hear others comment on it flattered him. It made him feel so, so good.

"I did!" Red beamed. "Thanks for noticing, Sizz-Lorr!"

The Fry-lord drew closer, investigating him further. Sizz-Lorr in turn stood up to his full height. The gruff, burlier Irken laughed and cracked a smile to confirm that Red really did get taller.

"Impressive, my Tallest," he complimented. "It doesn't help that you and Tallest Purple took power when you were so young. That means you'll keep growing for a bit longer. There's a chance that you two may end up being the tallest Tallest if you keep up with this rate!"

"One can dream," Red smiled away.

He and Purple were the youngest Tallest ever crowned. It also helped that they grew so fast so early, even from the very beginning. Red would've been honored and loved to have been the tallest Tallest in the history of the Empire. To be able to set a record that no one else could achieve or break would've been so satisfying in his eyes.

"But let's talk business," Red said, his posture ever so slightly returning to its slouch. "I promise that this won't take long. It'll take a few days to get to Ravia and I'll stay there for a little while to meet with Purple. Once that's done, we'll be returning to the Massive. I will call you on your private line when I'm ready to come back here. We have to keep communications down to a minimum and make sure we aren't being watched."

"I'll keep an eye out for anything, sir," Sizz-Lorr nodded. He was no fool and he understood the gravity of the situation. He may have been older but he was not helpless and unknowing. "I'll hold things down for you and make sure all is well for when you come back."

"I'm leaving my staff behind so they can serve you in my absence. Bepzee and Kookee will make anything you want to eat or drink and I trust them. Spindul is also loyal so you can depend on him too. I don't want to bring too many other people with me anyway. I'm only bringing my assistant with me to Ravia."

"Are there any outstanding or ongoing orders or anything of that sort that I have to be aware of?"

"I just want you to keep the Armada intact. I've already contacted General Evous of the Home Defense Force about my absence and told him to contact you if he absolutely has to for whatever reason. I’ve also sent you the internal map of the Massive so you don’t get lost. Trust me, you will need it. If you run into any Resisty forces, capture them and question them. And if you find any Irken traitors, execute them. They cannot afford to leak any sensitive information to the enemy."

"Understood, sir."

"Only reach out to me if it's super important. And I'll do the same with you if it comes down to it."

"I understand." Sizz-Lorr suddenly looked ashamed and lowered his head. "Also, my Tallest, I wish to apologize profusely for my failures."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You and Tallest Purple entrusted me to watch over and occupy Zim. He escaped me during the Great Assigning and then again after I hunted him down and brought him back to Foodcourtia. I underestimated him both times. I won't fail a third time, I swear it!"

Zim was the very least of Red's concerns at the time being. With ensuring Purple's safety and the war, the destructive Invader was the last thing he wanted to talk or think about. Previously, he even totally forgot about Sizz-Lorr's shortcomings and had only remembered it at that instant.

"Look, don't sweat it," Red sighed, reluctant to even speak about it. "Zim is away on Earth and he's going to stay there for all I care. If he escaped Foodcourtia twice, then maybe he wasn't meant to be there. It's best that he stay far away from us anyway, know what I mean? I don't care that he slipped from you, I can't even get rid of him myself so whatever. Forget about Zim, that's an order."

Sizz-Lorr wasn't expecting to hear those exact words. But he was happy that he wasn't going to be punished for Zim escaping his sentence on Foodcourtia. It was a shameful thing and he still loathed that chaotic shrimp but he'd let it be for now. Once things settled, maybe he'd try this third attempt. But that was going to be put on the backburner for now. For the moment, he was no longer Fry-lord of Foodcourtia. Now he was the regent Tallest.

"Thank you, sir," Sizz-Lorr said. "And good luck with your meeting. Extend my greetings to Tallest Purple. I look forward to see the both of you returning to the Massive!"

"I know I can't be gone for long," Red admitted. "It doesn't make me look good because I just came back not too long ago. But I have to do this."

"You do what you have to, my Tallest. You're doing what is best for the Empire and that's what matters." He smirked. "You're growing up. I think… No, I know you're making the right choice. Go, sir. I'll hold the fort down."

It was assuring and empowering to know he had Sizz-Lorr on his side. Red didn't want to admit it but he did admire and respect the Fry-lord. He was easily double his age and thus had twice the amount of experience. Oh, did he wish he had him fill in the first time. This was easily one of the biggest regrets of his reign so far. Maybe if he did, somehow, things would've been better or different. Maybe Rarl Kove wouldn't have tried to assassinate him.

"If something ever happens to Purple and I," Red said, "that'd be okay. Because I know the Empire would be fine in your hands." He turned and made his way to his own awaiting ship. "Expect me to contact you in two or three weeks. Good luck."

“Until then, my Tallest,” Sizz-Lorr replied.

The Tallest he just spoke with was different than the uppity punk who was crowned nearly fifty years earlier. This Red seemed much more responsible and acted like an actual leader now. To Sizz-Lorr, it seemed like hardship and the exile reformed him. He carried himself differently so much so that he was almost unfamiliar. 

He was growing up. To see it made the older Irken prouder than he ever thought possible. Red still had a long way to go but the changes were apparent. Maybe he’d turn out to be a worthy and good Tallest after all.

And the Fry-lord only hoped Purple had done a bit of maturing as well. He’d see that sooner rather than later.

Chapter Text

Chapter 33 Reminiscence

(space – two days later)

Lime happily ate away at the contents of the bag she held to her chest. Her antennae twitched in delight as she stuffed a wad of chocolate covered popcorn into her mouth. It was crunchy and sweet and it was the first time she ate something like this. She was more than familiar with popcorn but never really thought or had the opportunity to drizzle warm chocolate on top of it. Oh, she wouldn't be forgetting this anytime soon.

The ship that she was riding in was a customized, larger spittle runner. It had a section that was devoted to living quarters, a kitchenette and had a portion towards the back where there was a small bedroom, a washroom and a storage closet. The former table drone was impressed by this vessel, seeing that it was larger and more equipped than some average Irken's own apartment. But considering this was her Tallest's ship, perhaps it wasn't such a surprise after all. It was roomy (as much as a ship of this model would permit) and comfortable and Lime wouldn't complain at all.

But the thing that impressed her the most was Red's claim that he built this transport himself. Lime was aware of his previous occupation as an expert pilot so maybe it wasn't so strange to know that he made this thing himself. He also claimed that he built a nearly identical ship for Purple as well for his own personal use. Perhaps if Red never became Tallest, he would've been one of the best pilots the Empire ever had. At least, that's what she assumed or liked to think.

She picked up on the sound of her Tallest's voice in the cockpit. It was muffled and she couldn't make out what he was saying but she tuned it out. Lime wouldn't eavesdrop and besides, she was all too happy to feast on her snack. It was none of her business to butt in on his unless if he specifically requested it. There was no way that she wanted to get on his bad side and soil the trust she established with him.

Ravia was roughly still a week away. It wouldn't be that bad. Red piloted the ship, leaving her alone for the most part. In the meantime, Lime occupied herself with eating snacks, watching TV, listening to a few albums by her favorite singer and catching up on some sleep.

She considered herself lucky. In a way, this almost felt like a strange vacation yet technically she was still on duty. She was travelling with her leader and yet she was able to relax and do as she pleased without interruption. Lime was reluctant to ask Red if there was anything she needed to do. She respected his space and knew that there were many things on his mind. After all, the fate and success of the Empire was at stake and he was the one who had to navigate it.

She only hoped he'd remember that she was here for him as his servant and assistant.

When she heard one of the doors slide open with a hiss, she clenched her bag too tightly. Lime was lost in her own head and temporarily became disconnected to the world around her. Some of the popcorn toppled out from the bag, falling to the floor. Her head turned to the source of the noise, seeing Red coming into the living area where she lingered.

"Sorry, my Tallest," she blushed, her cheeks turning dark green. Lime released the bag and hopped off the couch. She knelt down, picking up the pieces of popcorn that tumbled out of the bag. "You scared me there."

"The arrangements are all finished," Red said, completely changing the subject and looking quite dissociated.

"For Ravia, sir?" Lime shrugged and tossed the stray pieces of popcorn into her mouth. There was no point in wasting them.

"Yes." Red made his way over to the chaise and plopped down on it. He sighed and stretched his form out, getting comfortable. "Kaus will be ready for us and when we make it to Ravia, the penthouse will be all prepped for our arrival."

"A penthouse?" Her eyes widened as she just imagined the opulence, luxury and taste it would most likely have. "That sounds large and expensive, my Tallest… I can't wait to see it!"

"Purple and I roomed there when we were at Ravia for our coronation celebration. It has a chocolate fountain and there's a huge chandelier made from diamonds mined from the Diamond Dust Nebula."

Oh. Oh, yes, that was very expensive. Gems harvested from that region were some of the priciest elements in the whole of the Empire. They fetched a pretty price but their beauty and quality was said to be unmatched. Apparently, they had no equal in the entire universe.

"You'll just have to see it for yourself," Red snickered softly, tickled by her astonished face.

"I'll be afraid to even step inside the penthouse!" Lime said. "I'd be scared to break something!"

"It's fine." He waved a hand dismissively. "It can be tossed out or replaced, I can do whatever I want. The penthouse is nice but it's almost like a closet compared to the Acropolis back on Irk."

Lime heard plenty about the Acropolis. It was the official residence of every Tallest since the very first days of the Empire. Its construction started under the first Tallest, Tallest Regula, and it was continuously added on or renovated over the thousands of years by the twenty-six and a half emperors and empresses that lived in it. The Acropolis most certainly existed but it was forbidden to all and accessible through invitation only. She heard many stories of its grandeur and beauty. She heard rumors of the swimming pool with the mirror bottom. She caught wind of a tale or two of the main dining room with the ceiling inlaid with opal and pearl. The loot of the Empire was displayed in this place and it wowed and humbled all who entered.

She accepted long ago that she'd never get into the palace complex. But now that she had connections to her Tallest, she didn't realize it until that instant that she might see these wealthy wonders for herself. Maybe she would get to fulfill that curiosity at long last.

"But it looks like I won't be going back home anytime soon," he said, brushing it off. "Someday I'll get to go back but there's too much out here that needs done."

"When this is all said and done, my Tallest…" Lime said, finally plucking up the runaway pieces of popcorn. She reclaimed her previous seat on the couch. "You need a nice, long vacation."

"Oh, I can't take another vacation for a century or two," he huffed. "The exile was one. Actually, it was the worst vacation ever but that's besides the point. Even after the mess and the Resisty gets all cleaned up, there's still a lot of work that needs done before I can officially chill out." He paused as he remembered the real reason why he came back to speak with her. "Guess it's about time I told you the explanation why I had you tag along."

Lime blinked in surprise. She almost forgot that he meant to discuss this with her. The small Irken set aside her popcorn and stood up straight and attentively. She nodded her head and gave her Tallest her undivided attention.

"Why did you have me come along with you, sir?" she pondered.

"You're going to have a very important job on your hands, Lime," he cut straight to the chase. "Tallest Purple isn't alone. He has someone travelling with him."

That was odd. She was under the impression her other Tallest went into hiding alone. And now he was meeting up with Red on Ravia with company in tow? How did that happen?

"You need answers," Red stated, easily picking up on her confusion. "Purple hid out on Earth for awhile and he finally left there a bit ago. While he was there, he took shelter in a Human's house. I don't know exactly what happened while he was there for that time but when he finally left Earth, he brought the Human with him. He made her part of his staff. And his staff is also my staff." He frowned. "Do you see where this is going?"

Lime was shocked. It rare but it wasn't unheard of for a Tallest to include an alien in their inner circle. It did happen. But she could all too easily see the concern and hints of anger in his eyes. Red wasn't happy with this situation.

"You believe Tallest Purple is close to the Human?" she asked. "And she is indeed a female…"

"I have a feeling what's going on but I won't know for certain until I finally see him," Red admitted. "I need you to spy on the Earth female. Watch her carefully, see if she has some sort of ulterior motives. Purple seems like he trusts her fully but sometimes he doesn't think things through. He can be an idiot. I'm very suspicious and I think she's up to something. I refuse to let her hurt him."

It was common knowledge that Tallest Red and Purple were close. It was considered unusual but for the most part, folks turned a blind eye. No one dared to question their Tallest about an aspect regarding that. From the very beginning of their lives, Red and Purple were close and many thought they would remain thick as thieves until the end.

He was going out of his way to meet up with his friend. And now he was distrusting of this tagalong from a world on the very edge of known Irken space. Earth was a shadowy and strange planet. It was the place of exile for the infamous Invader Zim and everyone who knew who Zim was knew that he was sent out on this fake mission to conquer the planet. So to hear that a native of the world Zim was sent to subdue was making their way to Ravia was surprising. Maybe Red's concerns were valid after all. Maybe this Human wanted revenge and wanted to destroy the Empire before Zim could conquer her world?

"I understand, sir," Lime proclaimed. "I'll keep a close eye on her."

"Report what you find to me," Red explained. "Don't let Purple suspect that you're spying on her. He can't know that you're doing this because I commanded you to. I have a feeling he is protective and obsessive with this creature. He might get aggressive and defensive if he realizes we don't trust her."

"Do you think he's grown very close to her, sir?"

Lime knew she was taking a gamble by suggesting this but she preferred to be honest and open with her leader.

"I'm concerned about that," Red said. "I'm afraid that he's so devoted to her that he might not see that she poses a threat. And if that is the case and if she does end up stabbing him in the back… he just…isn't ever the same again."

Getting attached to someone inevitably led to a greater pain than he ever thought possible and Red knew that all too well. He cherished Pax and despite his love, it couldn't save her. Instead, that adoration doomed her and caused her to be slain by an envious, unstable female.

Love was dangerous. Love was merciless. But it was also intoxicating. It was sweeter than any snack and more uplifting than anything he ever felt before.

The thought didn't occur to him until then. Maybe it was another reason why he was so eager to meet up with Purple before he could make it to the Massive. Maybe he had to see this Earthling woman and stop her before it was too late. He had to get to the bottom of this and rescue his friend before any serious, irreversible damage could be done. If it could be done, he would sabotage the alien before she could do her worst.

He didn't want Purple to feel the same pain he felt. He wouldn't wish it on anyone. It was horrific and unlike anything he ever experienced before. Red refused to let Purple go through his hell.

Lime didn't dare to insinuate anything. She had no desire to jeopardize her position and her life for that matter. Things were very precarious and dangerous anymore. If one was to make any accusations, then they better have had some ample evidence to back the claim up. And they also better have been ready to defend themselves and possibly run for their lives in the worst case scenario.

She heard about all the rumors regarding the tall Control Brain technician, then again, who didn't? The divide split open as wide as a canyon between defects and "normal" Irken over the incident regarding her. Tallest Red had reportedly acted very untypically toward her demise and in the days following her murder, he was out of sight. Tallest Purple had effectively ruled by himself for a little bit and Red was nowhere to be seen. There were whispers that he was incapable of performing his duties and was overwhelmed. And she remembered all too well that anyone who questioned his absence too much either got thrown out an airlock or was brutally beaten and intimidated by a gang of the Tallests' bodyguards.

Lime even hesitated to give the thought much credence but she knew she couldn't ignore it. It was clear as day that Tallest Red formed bonds and attachments to certain individuals. The most obvious evidence was his relationship with his co-Tallest and the second piece was his hushed but still noticeable enough connection to the now deceased female. Such things were frowned upon and she knew that if he was short and not a Tallest, he most likely would've been labeled as a defective and culled.

She knew that other "lower" species often formed these strong romantic and platonic bonds with one another. For the most part, her people frowned on them and thought they were primitive and unnecessary feelings. But Lime had seen and heard of her fair share of defects over time. It was in her private mind that no Irken was truly perfect. For example, Rarl Kove wasn't. He might've seemed like an ideal Irken but in the end of it all, he rebelled against his Tallest and sought to eliminate him. Perfect and normal Irken wouldn't even dream of something like that, let alone actually go through with the plot.

It was clear as day but she wouldn't throw her Tallest under the bus. He had extended compassion to her that one time and she was his. Her own leader had extended that gesture of mercy to her and Lime would never forget it. It made her realize that he maybe he wasn't such a huge jerk after all.

By definition, she knew he was a defective and Tallest Purple was lobbed into that category too. Yet Lime didn't care. No Irken was truly perfect. She knew she wasn't ideal either.

"You don't want him to get hurt, sir, I understand," Lime said sympathetically. "You're also loyal, wanting to help and preserve the life of your co-Tallest. You could easily endanger him and eliminate him so you could have full control all to yourself."

"I'd never do that!" Red exclaimed a little too loudly. He paused and cleared his throat, taking a moment to restrain himself. "It's only fair. We're of equal heights and we have to share our power together. Besides, having two Tallest during a time like this is helpful. We can divide and conquer to make it easier for the both of us."

"You and Tallest Purple are definitely not like Tallest Blitz and Danai." She laughed quietly. "You two aren't trying to assassinate each other and steal power from the other. It's a relief. It's a wonder Blitz and Danai even ruled jointly for as long as they did."

"They did it because they knew they had their duties to accomplish. They hated each other even before they were measured and instated as Tallest. They were rival Invaders and they always sought to outdo and sabotage each other." Red smirked. "Purple and I fought a lot when we were Elites. We both have the scars to prove it. But we were both encouraged to be the best. We did it to keep each other strong."

Lime recalled the scars that she briefly glimpsed when he was dressing for his interview. She knew that Elites were very often battered and scarred individuals and were considered some of the toughest individuals in the Empire. Both of her Tallest were once warriors. While Red's expertise was in piloting, he still had seen his fair share of combat and was trained like any other soldier.

She could only imagine what he had seen and gone through during those times. Like all other Irken, she went through her basic, mandatory military training and passed it. But due to her height and below average military finesse, her career path was designated towards public service. It wasn't what she wanted or preferred but it was better than military service. Lime knew for a fact that she wouldn't survive that.

"It'll be a relief to finally see Tallest Purple, sir," she nodded.

"Yeah." Red let himself smile a little larger. "Yeah, it will be."

(The Massive)

They were scared, that much he could tell. Drones kept their heads down and busied themselves with their assigned duties. They respectfully acknowledged him whenever he got close enough but they kept to themselves. They were quiet but busy. Antsy, even.

It wasn’t what he was used to back on Foodcourtia. The employees directly under his management were far more open and laid back than the personnel staffed on the Massive. Then again, Sizz-Lorr had to remind himself that things were way more volatile on this single cruiser than most likely any place  else in the universe. Everyone was constantly vigilant, watching themselves and their coworkers or acquaintances. Everyone suspected one another of possibly belonging to the wrong side but no one pointed fingers, afraid that their evidence might not be enough.

Foodcourtia was busy, lively and at ease despite the fast-paced environment. He was at home there and he was used to the ups and downs of his domain. It was what he expected and adapted too after remaining on that bustling, gluttonous planet.

On the other hand, the Massive was silent, heavy and overbearing. Already, he was eager for his tenure to end. There was more cheer and life on a freshly conquered and purged planet than on the mighty flagship.

He had spent the past two days wandering around the ship, checking in with the various department heads and familiarizing himself with his new niche. The Fry-lord turned Regent thought it was so weird that the folks he met seemed so spooked and afraid to even speak to him. Like it was almost as if they didn't know he was on the ship or weren't expecting him for that matter.

Tallest Red's wrath must've really dampened and frightened some of these folks. Either that or they feared something horrible was going to happen at any moment. They were all on edge. And them on edge just made him suspicious and wary in turn. Maybe they were acting this way because their Tallest left again. Maybe morale had fallen once more and they were afraid for one reason or another. The overall atmosphere was too grim and choking and Sizz-Lorr hated it.

It was such a difference. The time he spent as part of Tallest Miyuki's staff was so much casual and lax. Everyone seemed satisfied, maybe even happy. This was a stark contrast. The reigns of Miyuki and Red and Purple were so contrasting in many ways and Sizz-Lorr privately believed it wasn't necessarily a good thing. After all, this strife broke out on the junior Tallests' watch.

Red was young, he kept reminding himself of that. He and Purple were the youngest Tallest ever crowned and they still hadn't reached their full heights. They still had a long way to go with many things. In fact, many Tallest weren't chosen until they were at least three or four hundred years old and had completed their growth. But Purple and Red were exceptional. They were young and freakishly tall for their ages and they grew in leaps and bounds, surpassing many Irken that were centuries older than them. Despite their inexperience and youth, tradition was followed. That was the way it always was…

It was depressing and downtrodden, too much so for his own taste. Admittedly, he did feel out of his element but he reminded himself it was only temporary. Red would be returning with Purple and they'd take over again. He'd go back home and resume his tasks and get back to his routine and do things the way he preferred and liked. And he'd also be surrounded by familiar company.

He might have been Regent but there was one thing he wanted to do and practice without intrusion or interference. As far as he was concerned, he didn't care.

Sizz-Lorr peered into the Tallests' private kitchen. The lights were on but he didn't see anyone. He was aware of Bepzee and Kookee but their shifts were over for now. It was strange but he decided not to think too much of it. One of them likely forgot to turn it off before leaving.

He was in the mood for some deep-fried chocolate gobs. Red was generous enough to loan his staff to him but Sizz-Lorr preferred to make his food for himself. It was a habit he never got over. Others offered to do that for him but he refused every time. It was actually somewhat calming.

He made a beeline for the refrigerator, checking to see if the chocolate gobs were being stored in there. There were ice cream sandwiches, chocolate syrup and other treats in there but not what he was seeking. He grunted in annoyance and peered harder into the space, trying to see if he overlooked it. Maybe they were hiding behind an item.

"My Regent!"

The high pitched voice startled him so much he smacked the top of his head on the top of the fridge. Sizz-Lorr growled lowly at his clumsiness and whipped around, turning to face the one who addressed him.

His eyes fell on an average sized female Irken with fuchsia eyes. Her skin was a darker, fern color. She looked up at him with a sunny smile on her face and her hands were folded together. The Irken woman wore a magenta outfit and like him, she donned a white apron atop her uniform. She had long black gloves on that went midway up her upper arms. Her feet were covered in the ever-common black boot that almost all Irken wore.

"My Regent, if you needed something, all you had to do was ask!" her tone was bubbly and energetic. She laughed loudly and briefly. "I'm always around, that's what I'm here for!"

"Snack Specialist Kookee," her acknowledged, "I thought you were off the clock. I thought I dismissed you for the day."

"Oh, I'm always in here even if I'm off the clock, sir!" She laughed again, her smile never waning. "I actually sleep in a compartment in the pantry, I'm used to it."

His purple eyes widened and he blinked a few times. Sizz-Lorr stared back at her, wondering if he actually heard those words correctly. It was so bizarre, he thought maybe his hearing failed him for that random instant.

"You sleep in the pantry?" he repeated.

"Uh-huh!" Kookee furiously nodded. She pointed to the pantry and the hollowed out space under it that was wide open. There was a body pillow and blanket crammed into the section she claimed for herself. "That way, if my Tallest wants anything, I can roll out of my space and whip up something for them at a moment's notice!"

"Don't you have your own quarters? You're a member of the Tallests' entourage, you're given your own apartment."

"Yeah, but I don't use it. I can't even remember the last time I went into it!" She chuckled and shrugged. "In fact, I don't think I ever used it! Even when Rarl Kove was running things, I was always in here. He never ate as much as the Tallest but I just hang out here all the time!"

Did this Snack Specialist ever get a break? Did she always, really, truly live in the kitchen? This…was not right.

Overworked drones were never a good thing. They made mistakes, became liabilities and their performance suffered if they were pushed too much. This overexertion benefited absolutely no one. Breaks were mandatory no matter what, at least that was how he ran his business and planet for that matter. How was she supposed to whip up food for the Tallest if she never really clocked out or got some sleep?

"So, what can I get you, my Regent?" she asked, standing up on the tips of her clawed feet and then settling back in place.

"Where are the chocolate gobs?" he answered her question with one of his own.

"They're actually in the freezer." Kookee began to make her way across the kitchen, heading to the large, white unit. "Here, I'll whip you up some grub, my Regent."

"Thanks but no thanks, that's not necessary." He strode after her, intending to cut her off and forbid her from even laying a hand on the freezer door. "You're off duty and I like to cook my own food."

Kookee looked at him as if he had sprouted a second head from his neck. She stared back at him, seeming as if she was in sheer disbelief or was very confused. The smaller Irken hesitated and he could tell that she was poised to argue with him.

"But that's my job, sir," she said. Her tone was firm but he noticed she wasn't being forceful or actively trying to antagonize him. "Tallest Red said my job is to serve you since you're the one in charge for now. You're Regent."

"And as Regent, I command you to take a proper break until your next scheduled shift," he asserted. "I'm sure you're an excellent snack preparer since the Tallest use you…a lot. But you're no good if you're tired and not rested enough. Even our PAKs can only do so much. We sometimes need sleep if it's bad enough."

"You…you want me to go to my apartment and not stay here?"

Oh, this was just plain sad. If he caught Gashloog or one of his other employees pulling a stunt like this, he would've been livid. He dwelled directly above his restaurant but he separated his workspace from his living quarters. He kept them divided and he gladly took his breaks at times. They were necessary things.

"Go there and stay there until your next shift," he reiterated. "I mean it."

Suddenly, she looked like she was about to burst into tears. Her face scrunched up and she gave him a strained but earnest smile. Her left eye twitched subtly.

"No one ever told me to get sleep or take a break," she said almost too silently.

"Well, today's the day that changes," Sizz-Lorr stated. "Congratulations."

"Sir, Tallest Purple and Red eat constantly… I have to keep up with them. They're like bottomless pits!” She began to speak louder and her movements became animated. “Their spooches can put a black hole to shame! It's fascinating but disgusting! And they get mad when they don't get equal portions of the same thing!"

"Then you better enjoy your reprieve because they'll be coming back eventually. So, like I said, get out of here. I can make my own food and you haven't had a proper break for who knows how long. Even you don't know." He stood in front of the freezer, blocking her. His gaze narrowed at her and he pointed at the exit. "Go, now. The Tallest don't need to know about this either."

Kookee looked supremely relieved and overcome by joy. It looked as if the weight of the universe was lifted off her shoulders in that exact moment. The peppy staff member suddenly looked as if the years of sleep deprivation finally caught up to her now that the opportunity was presenting itself to her.

"Thank you so much, my Regent," she said, bowing to him. "Seriously, I mean it."

"And I also mean it when I tell you to go, Snack Specialist Kookee," he retorted. "Enjoy your break."

Kookee absolutely wasted no time. In a flash, she turned around and bolted out of the kitchen, leaving him be at last.

He did like her spirit and her devotion. But from what he had seen, heard and realized was not acceptable. Red and Purple treated a member of their own staff like this and Sizz-Lorr actually found himself becoming peeved and even angered. Did they not understand that continuous work yielded less results and less satisfactory ones at that?

Two centuries ago, he held the same position Kookee did. Now she stood in his figurative shoes and had to cater to two Tallest. Miyuki didn't exhaust him. In fact, she wanted him to surprise her with something new to eat and even requested him to teach her how to prepare some of her favorite snacks. The previous Tallest was wholly different. The past and present were not the same.

Now his appetite was ruined and his mood soured.

In that instant, he made a decision. For the few weeks he'd be aboard the Massive, he was going to do some investigating. He'd observe and dig deep. There was no room for slacking.

And when the time was ripe, he would be ready to present his findings to the Tallest.

(space – three days later)

"That says…"

You took a moment to process the alien script. Luckily, it seemed to be a very simple sentence to decipher and it didn't take you that long to interpret it. Actually, it was almost too easy of a phrase.

You huffed softly and raised your head, looking Purple dead in the eye. He was trying his hardest to not smile but he failed miserably at that effort.

"It says 'I love you'," you said, finding yourself smiling alongside him. "You couldn't make it a little harder, hon?"

"Okay, okay," he chuckled. He grabbed the paper and hastily added onto the sentence. Then he pushed it back towards your side of the table. "Can you translate this?"

You focused on the added script. You were half tempted to pull out your Irken alphabet cheat sheet out of your back pocket but you stopped yourself. Memorization and repetition was key. You'd be meeting other Irken and you wanted to at least know the alphabet and possibly write and speak some important or common phrases. You knew they'd be more than capable of speaking English but you wanted to be on somewhat equal ground with them. Whereas they had countless languages downloaded into their PAKs and could instantly speak and utilize said things, you had to do it the old fashioned way.

"'I love you more than chocolate-frosted and sprinkle donuts'," you recited.

"Well, it's true," Purple chuckled.

"You're a dork."

"So are you."

"Not as big as you!"

Purple snorted. He looked amused with the banter but he knew the both of you had to remain focused. So far, he was impressed and relieved by your progress. Not only that, he genuinely enjoyed teaching the Irken language to you. Your phonics and accent was atrocious but he also thought it was not too terrible for a non-native speaker. Irken was hard to pronounce and his species vocal cords were structured differently than a Human's. So, there was a chance you might not ever really truly master it. But that was fine in his eyes. He knew you were trying and he would happily give you credit for the honest effort. If you couldn't fully master speaking Irken, then you might have more success with reading and writing it in the meantime.

The Tallest yanked the paper to him again. Then he plucked up the pen and stared at the parchment. He'd have to make it a little more challenging.

"You're doing alright though," he said.

"I've heard you speak Irken," you retorted. "I don't think I can physically replicate some of those noises."

"Hey, practice helps, right? If you're struggling with it then we can focus on other things you're better at for now. And remember what I said?" He tapped the tip of the pen on the paper idly. "It's way easier for us to speak your language than for you to speak ours. People will know you're an Earthling and they'll speak your language. You're not gonna be perfect overnight. I'll teach you for as long as necessary, babe."

"I know. I just…" You shrugged and looked vulnerable. "I don't want things to be a total culture shock and I don't want to be completely helpless. I at least want to be semi-prepared."

"It'll be alright, don't worry. I'll make sure you're comfortable and equipped enough. We're still a few days away from Ravia so we'll practice as much as you want."

"Bet you never thought you'd be teaching an alien to speak your language."

Purple smiled at you.

"Weird universe, huh?" he still grinned away. "But do you see me complaining?"

He winked at you. Then he lowered his head and started to write when he finally had his idea come to him.

Another trait you noticed about him was that he was patient. Purple could definitely be impulsive at times but he was capable of biding his time. His patience with you was pretty solid considering that he was teaching you his native tongue. It was entirely possible that Irken didn't teach other species how to speak their language. But here he was, going out of his way and tutoring you. Honestly, you found yourself appreciating it way more than you would've previously thought.

Heck, that had to have been another sign that he loved you.

Another thing that you noticed about him was that he started to wear different clothes. You hadn't seen him wear his usual uniform for days. It hung up in his closet, silently collecting dust. Lately, he was wearing a black, slimming body suit. The only visible patches of skin he had exposed were his clawed hands, feet and his face. It was a little odd to see him not wearing his robes but you weren't complaining too much.

When the intimacy first started between the two of you, you learned pretty quickly that Irken were very self-conscious about their bodies. It was considered taboo to even see someone half naked. Most Irken didn't even like looking at their own bare flesh. It was considered a weakness and it was a reason why they kept themselves clothed as much as they could.

Sure, this bodysuit still covered a good portion of his flesh but it was still way less than what his kind usually wore. Perhaps he was quite comfortable with you and felt like he could get away with something like this. You wouldn't abuse that trust or make fun of him for it. He actually looked quite comfortable in this garb. It even seemed like he was able move around more easily and it just made you wonder just how uncomfortable and restricting his Tallest uniform was.

Yeah, you caught yourself staring at him a few times. It was a lot easier to notice his musculature in clothes like these. His robes hid a lot of it and you had to admit, it almost made him look sickly and anemic. Purple looked way lot better like this. You already knew he was lean but insanely strong but seeing it displayed in this matter was…nice. It was eye-candy alright.

"You like what you see, babe?" he asked without even looking up.

"W-what?" you stuttered, snapping out of thoughts.

"Don't play dumb. I feel those eyes on me."

"Because I'm waiting for you to finish."

"Sure, that's the real reason alright." He put the pen down and his eyes refocused on you. "You forget, I have a great sense of smell."

Your cheeks got unbelievably hot. You chose to ignore what he was implying and you crossed your legs under the table. Then you huffed and grasped onto the paper.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, beast," you muttered.

Purple snickered and said no more. He wasn't going to distract you while you were busy learning.

Your gaze hardened. Okay, this looked like a long phrase. It looked like there were roughly three sentences. Damn, this was harder than the last few examples he gave you. But this was what you wanted. You had to take it bit by bit and not become too intimidated by the inscription.

"'When the war ends'," you translated after a few moments of mental reciting and recollecting, 'I want to take you to Earth.'? Is this correct?"

"Yeah, keep going," Purple encouraged. "You got it."

So far, so good. You translated the first bit and now there was the other two portions.

You didn't look away from the paper, not wanting to break your concentration or lose your place. But you could feel his eyes on you. You ignored it, more invested in trying to study what was in front of you.

"'On Earth, I want to become…'," you interpreted. You wrinkled your nose, it was worded a little weirdly but you wouldn't let it throw you through a loop. "'…to become bonded to you in…'." You paused again, wondering what exactly he just wrote. "…'in the tradition of your people.' Purple, is this right?"

"It is," he responded. "You got one more bit to translate, sweetie."

This was weird. You had no idea what he was implying at first and it was confusing in all honesty. This made no sense. This must've been some sort of joke or something so he could fluster you. You knew that he got a kick out of making you blush.

You ignored him and got back to translating.

This time, you kept your thoughts to yourself. You quietly read the third sentence, not wanting to say it out loud. But as you examined it, you only became further confused and flabbergasted.

This had to have been some sort of prank. It had to be.

You dared to lift your head up and face him. His entire face was dark green and his antennae were pressed flat against the back of his head. Purple bit his lower lip and couldn't look you in the face. He was totally sheepish and he nervously twiddled his thumbs.

"Purple, look at me," you entreated him.

Somehow, it seemed his face became a shade darker. He became increasingly shy and he stealthily glanced back at you.

"Y-you need help with translating it or something?" he asked, his tone wavering.

"Is…" Your mouth turned as dry as a desert and you swallowed hard. "Are you horsing around?"

"Why?"

"Purple, be serious, please."

Suddenly, he looked guilty and ashamed. He looked away again, turning his entire body away from you. He sat up in his chair, pulling his knees to his chest and pulling himself into a lump of embarrassment.

…this wasn't a joke.

Horror filled you once you realized what you had inadvertently done. Dread rapidly accumulated in the pit of your stomach. Internally, you floundered. Oh, you had to fix this now. There was no way that you could let it persist this long without ironing it out.

"Purple!" you said, evacuating your seat and hustling to the other side of the table. Your arms came around his torso and you rested your chin on his right shoulder. You held him close and you wouldn't let go until this was fixed. "It's okay, I just needed to know if you were actually serious or if it was you playing around…"

"No, no, I made a stupid move," he retorted. He lowered his head, too embarrassed to look back at you. "I know Earthlings have a different mindset and culture and I should've thought about that. You know that my species doesn't practice or understand that sort of thing so I thought…" He shuddered and let out a groan of frustration. "I'm sorry, it's all way too fast. I know Humans sometimes take a long time to select and settle on a mate."

"It's okay, just calm down, alright?" You kissed the top of his head and continued to hold him close. You felt yourself getting choked up but you couldn't let it get to you too much. "Purple, like I said, I was thinking you were joking, that's why I…why I need to know. You're not playing around?"

"No!" He quietly sobbed. Still, he refused to face you. "I'm totally serious! I wouldn't joke about something like that with you, babe. I wouldn't make it up if I wasn't honest about it with you especially…" The Tallest huffed and sniffled. "If you say no, I understand. I have to understand it. We are really different after all."

Perhaps it was a bit fast even to your species' standards. But the both of you had already been through a lot in such a small amount of time. And you had been nigh inseparable and were practically each other's shadow. You lived side by side and you shared many laughs, conversations and food together.

He made a heartfelt and honest offer to you. And when you questioned it, he assumed the worst.

"Purple, please, look at me," you begged.

You could feel him tense. He hesitated but after a few seconds of delay, he finally turned to you. He wiped away at the moisture dribbling from his eyes.

"That last sentence," you said. "'Will you be my wife and will you let me be your husband?'."

"Would you be happier if it was a joke?" he asked miserably.

Your answer to him was not a word. Instead, it was a kiss.

Purple wasn't expecting it but he wouldn't refuse it either. He murmured softly as he returned the gesture to you. Although he was larger than you, he still melted at and felt comforted by your warmth and embrace. He would never become weary of it. It felt so perfect and pure to him.

"I would love to call you my husband," you said, finally breaking the kiss. "And I would be honored if you called me your wife."

His eyes grew wider and livelier at those words. But he remained quiet, wondering if this really was happening. His emotions had to switch gears and go in reverse.

"Really?" his voice was almost mousy. "You're really okay with it?"

"Yes," you smiled. Now that you got to the bottom of it, you were deeply flattered and were swooned. Your face was hot and it was so close to his own flesh, he'd probably feel it as well. "It's a lovely idea. We'll go to Earth when everything is settled and done and we'll tie the knot."

A huge, dopey smile broke across his green complexion. He looked like he was about to cry again but this time in joy.

"We can't really get married amongst my people but we can with yours," he said. "That's why I came up with the idea." He chuckled softly. "You're really okay with it?"

"Yes, you big goober," you laughed. "I literally let you live with me for months and then I followed you off into space. I'm pretty sure I love you a lot at this point. I've made my choice, Purple. I will marry you."

He spoke your name with such joy and fondness. He laughed gently and nuzzled you. A loud, content purring came from him and he rubbed his cheek into the nape of your neck. The Irken was so relieved and pleased that you accepted his proposal.

He couldn't help any of it. He grew to cherish and treasure these feelings and he never wanted them to end. Purple knew he was deeply in love. It was unlike any other sensation he felt before. It felt so natural and good and he still found it so strange and unthinkable that the Control Brains would prohibit things of this nature. It was cruel and ridiculous.

He loved this Human so much. "Wife" and "husband" were words completely unknown to his race but he was more than willing to borrow such terms from the Earthlings. He spent his time on their world and was exposed to the concept of marriage. At first, he thought it was pathetic and laughable but as he became increasingly attached to that woman, he suddenly saw it in a different light. They were two individuals who loved each other and stuck together no matter what. That was the way he saw it. And it was something he wished for.

In his eyes, mating was one way to claim someone. But to publicly decree it and show the universe that he was serious? That was when the idea of marriage appealed to him. And if such a thing didn't exist amongst the Irken race, then he would happily adopt the Earthling concept of it. Besides, it was what his wife-to-be would be familiar with.

"We've got plenty of time to think and worry about it," you said. "Let's focus on one thing at a time, okay? Baby steps, honey. You've got to meet Red first. Then go back to the Massive and do what you have to in order to restore order."

"Yes, ma'am," he waggled his nonexistent brows at you. "What's that one Earth phrase? 'Behind every great leader there is a strong woman'?" He smirked sharply, displaying his teeth at you. "I mean, I am a Tallest. I am the emperor of the Empire. And if you're gonna be my wife, doesn't that make you my queen? Or empress for that matter?"

"I'm not gonna be queen of anything." You laughed, your cheeks burning. "I don't want that power. I'm a state park ranger, not some ruler."

"That's alright. But you can still be my queen... How's that?"

He kissed your cheek. Purple gently pulled you around and ushered you onto his lap. Then his arms lassoed around you, hugging you to him. His purring resumed and he rubbed his face against your cheek.

"I guess we can come to some sort of compromise," you admitted.

"Sounds good to me," he sighed contently. "I love you…"

"I love you too, Purple."

The affirmation made him soar. He continued to cuddle you and hold you close to his body.

At the end of the war, he would have something else to look forward to. He would establish order and stability in his domain. And he would travel to Earth to prove to everyone that he chose his woman and would never abandon her. He was more than eager and ready to call her his wife.

Love was making him do crazy things. And it was causing him to see things differently.

'When the war ends, I want to take you back to Earth. On Earth, I want to become bonded to you in the tradition of your people. Will you be my wife and will you let me be your husband?'

Chapter Text

Chapter 34 Seeing Red

(space, a few days later – one hour from Ravia)

"My Tallest, please land at the coordinates I've provided. There will be two guards waiting there to escort you. Tallest Red will be waiting for you at the penthouse. I will meet with you once you two have finished speaking with each other. See you soon. Kaus."

Purple's jaws clenched as he read the message that was sent to him. Attached to the text file was a miniature map of Ravia and the location the Party-lord provided. He supposed he was only relieved he would be able to land on the planet without interference. Guards were already aware of his arrival and he only hoped they were loyal and wouldn't turn on him when he least expected it.

Without a word, the exiled Tallest plugged the provided destination into his ship's computer. He already knew he was coming up close to one of the most valuable planets in the Empire, no thanks to the various, flashing neon signs that announced that Ravia was close.

"Ravia; home of the biggest and most impressive assortment of liquor in the Empire! Dead ahead!"

"Visit the flying Hydrosian giant mantas at the one and only Benosis Aquarium!"

"Need a break? Wanna go apeshit? Dance your troubles and stress away at any one of the thousands upon thousands of nightclubs on Ravia! We have something for everyone!"

It was getting rather annoying; so much so that Purple was tempted to smash through one or two. Or fifteen of them. They could easily make more signs and as far as he was concerned, he could do what he liked. As far as he was concerned, Ravia had enough investment in advertisement and tourism.

It seemed like it was really and finally coming up to this much anticipated time. He knew it was coming and while he was happy to finally meet up with Red, he reminded himself it would probably far from ideal. Kaus' reputation preceded him and Purple didn't dare to forget that. He had to keep a sharp eye out for anything sly, underhanded or bold for that matter.

Although Purple's filter didn't work many times, this was one of these rare occasions where he'd have to make sure it was functioning. He couldn't let his wife-to-be know that he was becoming increasingly worried about her. He had a sinking feeling Red wouldn't be too welcoming or accepting of her. And on the other hand, Kaus might be too friendly. He had two polar opposites to fret about. But he was relieved he would be seeing Red first and Kaus would show up later. It would make the situation a little more manageable and he'd be able to deal with one person at a time.

Ravia was roughly an hour away. He had to get ready.

Purple walked back into the bedroom area, realizing he had to get dressed in proper attire. Only a handful of folks knew he was returning but he had his image to maintain and let them know he was back in the game. While he knew he could get away in dressing in so little with his beloved Human, he wouldn't be able to get away with the same amongst his people and peers.

You saw him stride in with purpose. Purple entered the bedroom and made a beeline for his closet. He rummaged through it and grabbed his Tallest garments from the hangar he placed them on. As he started to put them on, he was totally quiet and he didn't acknowledge you at all.

Standing up, you forsook your seat on the floor where you were busy with giving Baby some pets and scratches along her head. You watched him get dressed, having an inkling of an idea what was going on. You had to have been getting closer to your destination.

Another thing you noticed was that he started to get into one of his quieter, more serious moods once more. It wasn't as bad as that depressive episode with Bob and the pirates but it reminded you somewhat of it. Something was on his mind and you couldn't ignore it. Sometimes Purple was too easy to read. He wore his heart on his sleeve at times and while you didn't mind it that much, it might prove disastrous in the eyes of others.

"Are you alright, Purple?" you asked, walking closer.

"I'm alright," he responded. His tone was neutral and calm. "We're an hour away from Ravia so I gotta get ready." He clasped the corseting rings around his midsection and spine. Ever so slightly, he winced at the pressure it placed on him but he got used to the pain a long time ago. Now it was just uncomfortable. "We're parking the ship in a private hangar from the look of it and we're gonna be taken to the penthouse where Red and I stayed when we first became Tallest. We'll be meeting Red there."

"What's the climate or weather like there?"

"Why?"

"I wanna dress appropriately but comfortably for the conditions."

Purple chuckled.

"You'll be fine," he said, trying to assure you. "But we're landing in the southern hemisphere of the planet and I think it's experiencing summer right now. So it's hot."

"Got it."

Now that you had something to go by, you'd have to see what you'd actually settle on. You practically packed your whole wardrobe with you when you left Earth so you had your assortment to pick from. You had a summer dress or two but there were also skirts and capris…

Actually, now that you thought about it, a dress might be best. The less skin showed off, the better. You didn't want Red to think you were a scandalous Earth whore. Chances were, he already thought you were but you didn't want to inadvertently reinforce the notion without you even realizing it. Showing too much flesh wasn't really accepted so you'd at least try to respect that aspect of their culture and mannerisms. It was the least you could do and try to start things off on the right foot.

You took a hint from him and dug through your dresser (yes you took that with you), containing most of your clothes. It probably was a bad idea to place a dress in there but oh well, your brain was hazy in the midst of that panicked episode.

"I'm wearing a dress," you told him.

"I don't think I've ever seen you in one now that I think about it…" he hummed.

"We met in October so summer just about wrapped up when you arrived. I want to look nice and not look like some uncultured bimbo in front of your co-Tallest."

You located one of the sundresses. It was in your favorite color and it covered your feet. The only exposed skin would be some of your back, your arms, your collar bone and your neck. Maybe it wouldn't be that audacious. But it was summer on Ravia and you refused to roast to death in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt.

"Ooh!" Purple cooed, his antennae pricked upwards as he eyed the dress. "I like it, put it on!"

"But do you think this is appropriate?" you asked, feeling increasingly worried.

"Yes." It was almost instant. He smiled and folded his hands together. "Heck, you might make Red jealous. Maybe he'll be so jealous he'll decide he needs to find a female Earthling of his own."

"Oh, I seriously doubt that. Come on, Purple, let's be a bit more realistic."

"I didn't like Earthlings before I came to Earth. I changed my mind, didn't I?" His smile grew. "That's realistic enough, ain't it?" He came closer and kissed your forehead. Before he pulled away, he nuzzled your cheek against his. "Be ready in an hour, okay?"

"I will."

You gave him a smile. Then Purple exited the room, granting you privacy while you changed.

(one hour later)

The planet-wide sprawl reminded you a lot of Conveniencia. It was clearly heavily urbanized and even from Ravia's orbit, you could tell that the light pollution was abundant. If one stood on Ravia's surface, it was entirely possible that they wouldn't be able to discern any starlight. It was totally different when compared to Lumis which wasn't even properly settled. The entire planet was colored gray, white, blue, pink, and red undoubtedly due to all the industrialization and flashy, colorful lights. There was also a dizzying influx of other ships going to and from the planet, belying that it was a happening and hopping world.

It didn't take long to plunge through the atmosphere and finally break through the wispy cloud cover. There were buildings constructed of steel and glass and there were neon signs everywhere. You were able to at least decipher some of the advertisements you came across, pointing to bars, restaurants and some other random attractions. You were glad you could at least interpret a portion of them in the event of some unforeseen emergency.

As you looked down towards the ground level when the ship flew lower and lower, you thought you could make out a few features. Some of these things looked like massive, ornate water fountains, some sort of alien palm trees that were colored teal and wide plazas that what looked like small booths set up in them. It somewhat reminded you of pictures you had seen of Las Vegas, Cancun, Amsterdam and other debauched, partier's-paradise cities back on your homeworld.

This was going to be unforgettable, you felt it in your very marrow. You just hoped you would have many more good memories than bad ones here.

"You think we should maybe tone it down a little?" you asked as you stood beside him. Purple didn't look at you as he was focused on navigating the aerial traffic.

"Tone what down?" he retorted, glancing at you for a measly second. "I'm not sure what you're going on about, babe."

"Us."

"How do we tone down ourselves?" He decelerated and followed the coordinates, leading him to a different district of the planet. "I don't get it."

"Uh, I mean…maybe we shouldn't be so handsy and clingy with each other. I mean, I don't think we want everyone to know we're a couple right? Like, don't you think it might complicate and stir things up? We're trying to keep things lowkey here anyway. We should at least settle in first then when we get situated, maybe we can be more…bold?"

Purple blinked in confusion at first. But as he considered it more, he supposed it made some sense. At first, he almost got a bit offended but he saw your logic.

As much as he wanted to show you off and introduce you to everyone as his mate and future wife, he knew it might be dicey. There was a lot of strife and struggle going on. He was visiting Red to discuss business and get a recap of all that was going on back on the Massive and on their homeworld for that matter. He had to rearrange his priorities at this point.

"I guess it makes sense," he admitted but he sounded reluctant. "But Red's gotta realize you're my chosen and you're not going anywhere. And Kaus has to know you're off limits too."

"I understand," you nodded. "Besides, we have to make sure as little people find out you're on Ravia as possible."

"We're safe here. I'll keep it low for a day or two but the people also have to know that I'm back. Sure, there are a lot of aliens that visit Ravia but this world is secure and under careful guard."

You hoped he was right. You didn't want to argue with him, you had done your share of that when under Bob's custody. This was going to be like a vacation of sorts, at least that's what you kept telling yourself.

Baby and Bambi had plenty of food and water. There was no telling how long this meeting was going to take and you told yourself they'd be alright on the ship in the meantime. You'd be staying in a penthouse so you could move a lot of your clothes and other essentials into that building sooner or later. For now, you'd just have to be patient and get one objective done at a time.

The ship slowed down further. You could see a docking bay that seemed rather isolated and separated from most of the hub. You could see that the designated parking zone of sorts was a large concrete ring. Surrounding that ring were more of these otherworldly palms. And there was also another circular structure around the outer rim of those plants. As you looked closer, you could see it gleam and glisten in the waning sunlight. It looked like water and you could see what looked like fish swimming around in that crystal clear liquid.

Purple managed to park the shuttle without incident, thank God. As soon as it was properly settled on the landing pad, he shut it off. The ship was still and silent.

Through the tinted windshield, you could see two beings approach the shuttle from under the shade of a palm tree. They looked Irken from what you could tell and they were purple outfits. They brandished some sort of spears and you assumed they were the guards or escorts Purple mentioned.

"Here's the welcoming committee," Purple noted. "Here we go. Stick close to me but don't worry, you'll be fine."

The windshield retracted, allowing the both of you to exit. Purple stepped down and extended a hand to you, offering you to help you down. Despite him saying he would keep things lowkey, he insisted on being a gentleman in this instance.

You accepted his gesture. You couldn't refuse it.

"My Tallest!" one of the guards, a rather buff, orange-eyed female, greeted her leader. "It's an honor and relief to see you alive and well!" She wiggled her antennae at him and her companion mimicked the cordial statement. "I take it that you received Party-lord Kaus' directions?"

"I did, soldier," Purple remarked. "You and your friend are taking me to my co-Tallest up at the penthouse. I'm supposed to be meeting Kaus later. What are your names?"

"I am Oran, sir."

"And I am Kern," the other guard, a red-eyed, and equally as fit as his partner individual stated. "We're your assigned bodyguards for the duration of your stay on Ravia."

"Oran and Kern." Purple nodded, mentally memorizing their names for the future. He gestured to you as you stood at his side. "This Earthling is a member of my staff. Treat her with respect and don't hesitate to trust her. She has proven her worth. Her name is…"

You followed along the best you could. The Irken language was so unusual and you had a hunch you'd probably never get it down one hundred percent. But you caught onto the tones used for this exchange and you were able to at least translate some of it.

These guards were taller than the average Irken from what you knew but they were still shrimpy compared to Purple. They were probably a little over five feet while Purple clearly towered over them by at least three feet.

Oran and Kern nodded at you respectfully and spoke your name, addressing you. You mimicked the nod, wanting to be polite.

"We've never seen a Human before," Kern said, speaking English clearly and fluently from what you observed. "It's a treat to finally see one with our own eyes! We’ve heard a lot about your species thanks to Invader Zim’s exile, er, mission... You're also a member of Tallest Purple's staff, you are very lucky!"

"Indeed," Oran agreed. "Welcome aboard!"

"Thank you very much," you said, giving them a small smile. "It's wild meeting beings from outside of my homeworld and seeing all these awesome and neat things. It’s not a dull experience at all."

"We were already informed that you were travelling with our Tallest so we've made preparations for your arrival."

"That's very kind of you, thank you."

Purple looked pleased with the exchange. He held his head up high and nodded ahead.

"Take us to Tallest Red," he commanded but there was no hostility or edge in his voice.

"Yes, sir," Kern acknowledged. "Follow us."

The two bodyguards nearly turned in unison and walked away from the landing pad. They were making their way to a glass elevator about two hundred feet away.

Alright. You could do this.

(…)

Luckily, the walk wasn't far at all. The elevator ride was a quick despite it being half a mile off the ground. You never really had a fear of heights or had sensations of vertigo but that changed when you glanced out the glass elevator shaft. You could see much of the sprawl and watched the sunset. You almost thought it would never end as it continued to ascend more and more.

Fortunately for you, the ride was only a grand total of two minutes long but it was still ever so slightly harrowing. When the elevator door's parted, you were immediately met with the sight of a long colonnade. The hallway was colored white and the pillars that lined the entire length of it were crafted of ivory-colored marble. As you stood in the elevator, you could pick up on the sound of what you believed was running water.

When the guards and Purple started moving again, you were fast to follow. But as they walked down the colonnade, looking totally disinterested in their surroundings, you were of the complete opposite. The base of the marble pillars were covered in some sort of inlaid, gold leaf. On the opposite side of both rows of pillars, there were small gardens. You saw more of the strange palm trees and there was some sort of flowering shrub that was covered in magenta flowers. In fact, it reminded you a lot of the azalea bushes back home on Earth. There was also one fountain in each of the separate but adjacent gardens. The fountain on the left side bore the sculptures of some sort of large, brutish-looking animal that was being swarmed by a multitude of small but equally fierce Irken warriors that brandished spears and swords. The fountain in the right garden featured the likeness of a tall and thin figure that you suspected was a female Irken judging by her curled antennae. From what it seemed like, it appeared that she was most likely a Tallest.

Despite Purple saying the Irken race preferred industrialization and civilization, it seemed that some of them had soft spots were patches of beauty like this. You thought of the grand gardens at the Acropolis on Irk. These tiny splashes of green probably paled in comparison to the magnificence of what laid on their homeworld. For a moment, it almost seemed like you weren't standing on a planet-wide cityscape.

You were lagging behind as you slowed down to take in your opulent but beautiful surroundings. You were only snapped out of your fascinated daze when you heard Purple call for you. He was a few dozen feet down the hall and he beckoned you to his side, wanting you to keep close.

"It's all so beautiful, I'm sorry," you said, jogging up to him.

"I promise, you'll have plenty of time to explore everything," Purple snickered, amused by your wonder. "You won't leave Ravia disappointed."

"I'd love to go see these aquariums I've heard about. I remember going to the beach a few times with my dad and grandpa when I was a kid and spotted dolphins and sharks off shore but I've never been to a real high scale aquarium or anything like that."

"Oh, you'll love it. You just gotta be patient."

"That one statue… The one that looks like a female Tallest. Who was she?"

"That's Tallest Regula. She's the first Tallest in the history of the Empire. Space travel was finally perfected during her reign and she began to spread Irken territory to other worlds."

"How long ago did she reign?"

"Thousands and thousands of years ago."

It was a bit pathetic. Humans were lucky to live a hundred years while from what Purple claimed, it wasn't a freakish thing for an Irken to almost live a thousand years. That was something you'd have to come to terms with eventually. But you pushed that ugly truth out of your mind, deciding it was going to be a problem for the future you.

He smiled at you, pleased that you took such an interest in everything. He was happy that while he was interested in Earthlings, you were also intrigued by his species. It was just another thing that he felt he could bond with you over.

Then he looked ahead once more, following the two guards. You kept at his side, resolving to keep up and not get distracted for now.

A moment or so later, you reached the end of the colonnade and made it to a tall, engraved metal door. Oran took a step forward and input a code on a terminal that hung up beside the door. When she tapped in the number, the doors parted, granting entrance to the four beings.

"Here we are," Kern announced. "This is the front door to the penthouse."

Then the colonnade and two gardens must've been the front yard, so to speak. Pricy. Very pricy.

Beyond the door was a small flight of marble stairs that led up into the building. When you stepped through the door, you looked upwards. There were numerous skylights in the ceiling and dangling in the middle of it was the biggest chandelier you had ever seen.

You nearly tripped up the stairs once or twice as you studied the large fixture, disbelieving its size and the amount of meticulous craftsmanship that must've undoubtedly been put into it. Seeing all these displays of power and wealth was almost humbling. Purple was used to all these creature comforts then got a massive downgrade when he decided to lay low on Earth and consequently in your cabin. To him, it was probably like living in a marvelous, luxurious, spacious chateau then downsizing to a soggy cardboard box under a filthy bridge.

"Purple!"

You recognized the voice. Instantly, your child-like wonder was abruptly set ablaze and was replaced with crushing apprehension. You stopped just short of the top of the stairs.

Purple's eyes grew and his antennae pricked upwards instantly. Instantly, he pushed past the guards and clambered up the stairs, refusing to waste another moment.

"Red!" Purple grinned. His joy was so innocent and pure. "Is that really you?!

As soon as he reached the top of the stairwell, he saw him. Red was approaching him, his eyes equally as big and bright as Purple's. The Tallest stopped just short of each other, both staring each other down. They both knew they were going to reunite but physically seeing their near and dear friend was something totally different.

"Am I really looking at you?!" Purple squawked.

"C'mere, knucklehead!" Red smiled toothily. "I need to see you up close and personal!"

It took no time at all for the two Tallests to finally meet up with each other. They practically lunged at one another. Both of them were laughing and smiling away, simply happy to reunite with their lifelong companion. Then they both set their hands on each other's shoulders and they gave themselves a ferocious headbutt.

The noise was loud and you cringed at it, thinking maybe they shattered each other's craniums. But with how they reacted with no pain and were still giggling away, it didn't affect either of them.

"You grew taller!" Red noticed. He still had his hands on his co-Tallest's shoulders.

"Hey, you did too!" Purple said.

"Really? You think I did?!"

"For sure!"

"Awesome! That's what I want to hear!"

"Hopefully we keep growing. Or maybe I'll finally be taller than you one day and stay that way for good! I wouldn't mind being the only Tallest!" Purple cackled but it was all in good nature. "Maybe I'll demote you and make you do my laundry and lick my boots!"

"Ha! Keep dreaming! It ain't happening! We're either gonna be the same height forever or I'm gonna be taller than you by an inch!"

"Nah, I'll just assassinate you before that!"

"Wonderful, we'll just kill each other!"

The two cackled and headbutt each other again. This time it wasn't as powerful but you could've sworn you heard a crack from the collision.

"It's good to see you again, Red," Purple grinned. "I missed seeing your ugly face!"

"I'm already in a better mood now that I have my favorite idiot helping me rule the Empire again," Red chortled. "Now… Both Tallests are back in business! The Resisty doesn't stand a chance against us now! No more running off, no more mercy! We're gonna hit them hard and fast!"

"Red, I want you to meet someone."

That was your cue.

"Oran, Kern, leave us," Red commanded.

You noticed the two guards giving you a sympathetic look. They turned and made their way down the stairs, wanting to be out of earshot and not wanting to even risk eavesdropping in any way, shape or form.

You heard Purple say your name. He called out to you.

For the briefest second, you thought you were going to have a full blown panic attack. But you put on your big-girl pants and walked the rest of the way back up the stairs. There was no way you could turn around at this point. Oh, that was way past the point of no return.

The resemblance was definitely there. They looked nearly identical save for the facial scars, different colored eyes, voices and clothes. Other than that, you could've sworn that they resembled twins. They were even the same height.

"Uh, Red," Purple started off. Now he was speaking English. He was smiling and blushing. Once you were at your boyfriend's side, he set a hand on your shoulder. "This is the female Earthling I told you about."

Suddenly Red leaned forward towards you. It was almost uncomfortably close but you didn't want to recoil or let him know how anxious you were. His antennae swivled forward, pinpointed directly at you.

"Hello, it's nice to finally meet you," you said, trying to be level and polite. "I heard plenty about you and I'm happy to see you in person at last. Purple always spoke so positively about you and…"

"Purple, she smells like you," Red stated in your native tongue, completely ignoring what you had to say. "And you smell like her."

"Red, she's my chosen."

You could see Red visibly cringe at those words. Ever so slightly, he backed off. But a few seconds later, he drew close again.

You didn't know if it was the proper thing to maintain eye contact or look away. Maybe staring him down was meaning you were challenging him. Or maybe devoting your attention to him might make him think you're subservient and thus placating him. Then there was also the thought that your anxious mind was just overthinking everything in this key moment.

"It's like you and Pax," Purple explained.

"I get it," Red hissed. "I got the impression when I smelled you two on each other." He sighed and rested a hand on his forehead. "Purple… Your realize this is a very bad time to be doing something like this. And can you even trust this Human creature?"

It almost felt like Purple was encircling you. You felt his arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer to his body. You felt his chin rest on the top of your cranium and you could feel his frame tense.

"I respected you and Pax," Purple retorted. "I didn't understand it in the beginning and I was so confused over it. But now I understand it completely."

"Purple, she's not even our own kind!" Red argued. "That's not a very smart thing, you know!"

"I don't care! We chose each other and that's what matters!"

"So, you made her a part of our staff and then you decided to pursue her?"

"Red." Purple's tone became sterner and forceful. "I accepted Pax. I want you to respect my choice and accept my mate. We've already decided to get married after we fix everything up."

"What's 'married'? What the heck are you going on about? Did some brain parasite get into your skull?"

"Nothing got into my head, Red. I care a lot about her and I want you to accept her. This is my choice and I know what I'm doing. I don't want to fight you after not seeing you in person for the first time in over two years, okay?"

You saw why Red dismissed the bodyguards and honestly, you were happy they weren't around to witness it. It was becoming stifling, awkward and uncomfortable. And it made you feel even worse because they were bickering only because your presence. If you weren't here, this reunion would've been far more joyous and happy for them.

"I'm not here to cause any trouble or create any bad blood," you said, refusing to be silent any longer. "I love Purple a lot and I want to help him in whatever way I can. I promise, I have no desire to hurt him or use him."

With the way he was looking at you, you knew he wanted nothing more than to tell you to shut up. But Red was biting his tongue. He knew Purple was attached to you right off the bat. His stare was intense and scrutinizing. In fact, you were pretty sure he hadn't even blinked yet.

Red wasn't pleased. He had his suspicions and assumptions and it looked like one of them was confirmed. Purple claimed this creature as his mate. That must've meant he did indeed mate with her. They also smelled like each other, further hinting that the act was done and showing how close they were. He clearly was invested in her and it was obvious he wouldn't be able to get rid of her so easily. Purple would definitely be opposed to it.

He wasn't going to forget about her. Now that he knew about her, she wasn't going anywhere. And if he couldn't keep an eye on her, then it would be Lime's duty. If this Human was up to something, he was going to be there to foil it and protect Purple if it came down to it. Red took this all too seriously. This wasn't some matter he could delay or push away. The happiness and life of his co-Tallest might be in the balance. And he would make whatever necessary sacrifice to keep Purple safe and alive.

"I see," Red finally acknowledged. He said your name. "You must understand Purple and I have to discuss some…uh, very important things. Have the guards help you fetch what you need from the shuttle and get settled in one of the rooms."

"Thank you," you nodded at him. "You two need to talk privately, I fully understand."

Purple released you from his grasp. But before doing that, he nuzzled your cheek affectionately.

"Get comfy and go to sleep, okay?" Purple encouraged. "I'll see you in the morning."

"I will," you said, giving him a small smile, letting him know you were alright. "See you then, Purple."

He rubbed your forearm briefly and then stood aside, letting you go. For a second, you grasped onto one of his hands and squeezed it gently. Then you took your leave.

When you walked off, Purple redirected his attention to his co-Tallest. You could hear them switch back to their proper tongue. When you looked over your shoulder, you could see Red gesturing Purple to sit on one of the couches that were situated on each side of a glass coffee table.

From this moment on, you knew your life had only gotten way more complicated. Things weren't ever going to be so easy and smooth anymore. The other Tallest would be watching your every move. He would be watching every single little thing, every single little fuck up. Red had you on his radar and you were never getting off of it. You knew that he was poised to attack you at the instant his distrust fluctuated to an uncomfortable level. It would be like walking on the most brittle glass around him.

You had to remember that you weren't the only person who cared a lot about Purple.

Chapter Text

Chapter 35 Plagues Upon the House

(…)

"You made it one piece, I'm happy to see it, Purple. I really am. I'm relieved. Like, you literally have no idea how relieved I am."

Purple took his seat across the opposite side of the coffee table. He took a moment to calm down. He didn't want to be mad at Red either but he wasn't going to let his co-Tallest bully or harass his mate either. As much as he wanted to pursue the matter and make sure he and Red were at a comfortable and mutual understanding, he knew there were other issues that needed to be resolved first.

His Empire was one such problem. He didn't come all this way for nothing.

"Yeah, everything was fine," Purple brushed it off rather nonchalantly.

There was no way he could tell Red about the incident with the space pirates. Nor was he going to let his friend catch wind about the six million monies debt he owed to their captain. He was going to keep that under wraps for as long as possible. That was something he wasn't necessarily proud of but he knew it was a sacrifice he had to make in order to even leave. If he could leave it in the dark, he was going to do it.

"Here, have a drink, will ya?"

Red gestured to the drink on the left side of the table. Purple didn't even notice it earlier.

"Thanks," Purple said, giving him a small smile.

"It's fermented space bee honey with a dash of sugar crystals," Red grinned back at him. "I figured we could both maybe use something a little stronger. We both need to unwind a little."

Purple lifted the cup and took the straw into his mouth. He sucked up a small sample of the concoction, tasting it. He hummed and nodded his head, liking the sweetness and the subtle grit of the sugar crystals. The alcoholic honey was smooth but had a syrupy texture at the same time. But it was good and that was all he cared about at the moment.

"It's good!" Purple chimed.

Red took a few sips of his own beverage and leaned back into his separate couch. He exhaled and got comfortable. There was no telling how long this was going to last.

"So, I gathered what I could from that live broadcast of yours," Purple said, cutting straight to the chase. "You almost got killed by Rarl Kove."

"He's scheduled for his existence evaluation in a few weeks," Red confirmed, a wicked smirk tugging at his lips.

"Why not do it now and get it done and over with?"

"Because I want him to see both of us at the same time. Think of it Purple… He hated us. He always did. He wanted to finish me off and he wanted you to stay far away or dead. Him seeing us and presiding over his evaluation would be the ultimate payback."

Purple's less savory side started to emerge. His antennae twitched in delight and he flashed Red an equally malicious smile. He set his drink down on the table surface and folded his hands together.

"On second thought, good call," Purple snickered. "I see your point. I'm glad you came up with that idea! I wanna see him tremble in those little boots of his!"

"You do know that you will be targeted almost as soon as you make it back to the Armada," Red warned. "Both of us will be. We have to keep our heads on a swivel, look alive and be careful."

"Do we really know who's loyal and who's not?"

"Sizz-Lorr is loyal. I know he is."

"We thought Kove was too. He served Miyuki and then served us in turn. Sizz-Lorr is the same deal, Red. Are we sure we can trust him?"

"Yes. Purple, I know he scared you when you were a smeet but come on, grow up. He is loyal, I know it."

"Okay, fine… I'll trust you on that. But if he ends up turning on us, I'll be telling you 'I told you so'."

"Kaus is loyal too. I spoke with him before and after I arrived on Ravia."

"Ugh, gross."

Red chortled at Purple's revulsion. Oh, he was already all too amused. He took another hearty swig of his drink.

"I guess that's good that he's loyal," Purple admitted begrudgingly. "I was kinda hoping he'd be a traitor. It'd be that much easier for me to get rid of him with no hesitation."

Red was aware of Kaus' reputation. But in this precarious time, the Tallest deemed that one had to hold onto as many of their underlings as possible. With the amount of enemies running around, it wouldn't be smart to add another to that category. Kaus' behavior might've been controversial and disgusting but he did his job and that was what Red cared about the most. For now, he could see past all the rumors, stories and accounts.

He knew exactly why Purple seemed particularly offput. But he didn't want to talk about the Human. As much as he wanted to, he knew that had to wait.

"Grand Prefect Megumi is also under surveillance," Red went on.

Purple's eyes widened at Red's news. He was more than familiar with the current, oldest living Irken. In truth, he had no issues with her and he liked her. Megumi always seemed to be fond of him and Red and whenever she saw them, she was always offering them snacks and extra rations. It seemed as if she always treated them well and respected them.

"Her?" Purple asked, raising a brow. "What did she do?"

"She's old and you know how Irken get when they get up there in their years. She seems to think reforms need to be brought in and older traditions need to be gotten rid of. That's what the head of her investigation, Constable Tilt, is telling me."

"But is she actually telling us to hit the road?"

"No."

"Then don't worry about her, Red. She's ancient and she'll probably kick the bucket in a few years. I mean she broke one tradition but we didn't complain about that one incident."

Red flexed his thumbs at the implication. He eyed the digits, happy that he still had use of them. If Megumi had followed the old ways, he and Purple would've lost those thumbs on their coronation. He only let Tilt keep things quiet and monitor her because she cut him and Purple slack nearly fifty years earlier.

"We just gotta keep an eye on her for now," Purple shrugged. "She's so old, let her stay alive, she doesn't have much time left." He snickered suddenly. "Remember what she always used to say whenever she'd see us? She'd always call us 'Miyuki's boys'."

"Yeah, and she'd constantly pinch our cheeks," Red grumped. "She did that to us on our coronation! I told her to stop and she just laughed at me!"

"Ha, ha, yeah, you got so upset!" Purple laughed harder. "I don't mind it that much, she's old and harmless. I like her way more than Sizz-Lorr."

Red only rolled his eyes. He cleared his throat, wanting to get back at the actual, pressing matters at hand.

"There's also some other things," Red explained. "It's suspected that there's a spy ring, maybe even a few different ones on the Massive. There're Resisty ones for sure." He thought back on the first attempt on his life when he first made it back to the Armada. "There's also another faction out there aside from the Empire and the Resisty."

Purple sighed. Then he eyed Red expectantly, wanting him to explain and continue.

"So, we've got more problems," he said, sounding somewhat annoyed.

"There are Irken who want the Resisty destroyed but they also refuse to acknowledge us as the Tallest," Red revealed. "They want us dead."

"That can't be done. We're the Tallest. Those are the rules!" He laughed and picked up his drink, taking a sip from it. "You and I are the Tallest Irken alive and they have to obey and serve us. They're just as traitorous as those Resisty goons!"

"Nothing surprises me anymore." Red's expression turned sour and grim. "The definition for 'defect' nowadays is such a big and open thing…"

"You mean 'dubious' or 'ambiguous'."

"…yes." Red frowned. "This is unlike anything we've ever seen before, Purple."

"What if the defects were already there? But we just never really noticed it before… And maybe they just got bolder and braver?"

"Whatever the case, it's not good and it's not allowed."

"We just round them up, question them and then get rid of them. They're obviously dangerous and for as long as they live, they'll cause problems."

Purple stopped himself from speaking further. He suddenly felt as if he was treading into dangerous and debatable territory. But he also knew it needed to be addressed. Luckily, Red was probably the only Irken he would freely speak to about this matter. He had been meaning to talk to him about this for years. It was an unspoken matter but he knew it was on his mind and probably on his co-Tallest's as well.

"Red," he said. His tone was blunt and stone cold. "You know that we're defects too."

Red blinked, caught off guard by Purple's tone and words. He froze in his spot, not expecting to hear it out of the blue. His eyes widened and his long, lanky shape tensed.

"You know why I'm saying it," Purple continued. "We've been defects since we hatched. Look at us. Take a good, long look at us, Red."

Red's form finally started to sag. He finally blinked and he meekly nursed at his drink. The Tallest remained silent, feeling that Purple needed to say these things. All too clearly and easily, he knew that he had a point. He knew he was right.

"If we weren't taller from the very beginning, we would've been culled," Purple said. "We were born lucky. And Miyuki kept an eye on us too. I think she might've had to do something with us living as long as we did. Red, we're close. We're closer than what should be allowed. How often do we Irken have close, real friends? It's not a common thing and we know it."

"The first thing I saw as soon as I came out of that tube was you," Red said. "I don't know what it was and I still don't get it. It was like instinct, I guess. I remember my very first thoughts. I had to follow you and keep close to you." He sighed and slapped a hand to his forehead for a second. "This is gonna sound really weird but I gotta get this off my chest. I have to admit it."

"Oh, just say it."

Red hesitated.

"You smelled like a friend," Red grumbled, his face turning dark green in embarrassment.

Purple guffawed loudly. He had to set his drink down on the table, knowing he'd crush the plastic cup in his hand if he kept holding onto it. His arms folded across his middle as he doubled over, laughing raucously. Tears appeared in the corners of his eyes. There were a few seconds where no sound came out from his mouth and when it did come back, it was more explosive and powerful.

"Shut up, it's the truth!" Red snapped, his face turning even darker than what he thought was possible.

"I smell like a friend?!" Purple half cried and half laughed. "That's a good one!"

"I'm being serious, you idiot!" The more serious of the duo sputtered and crossed his arms across his chest. "Like I said, it was this urge that came out of nowhere. It was instinct. All I knew was that I had to keep close."

It was strange but Purple had the same urge. Just like in Red's case, the first thing he remembered seeing when he hatched was his co-Tallest. And like him, he had the same unexplained experience. Purple also didn't want to admit but he too thought he smelled familiar and soothing.

Purple took a few deep breaths and calmed himself down. He leaned back into his couch and could only give Red a smile.

"We are so defects," he said.

"I know," Red bitterly retorted. "We're not supposed to have them but here we are! We're the Tallest, we're supposed to be the best, the handsomest, the strongest, the worthiest… And yet our subjects disobey us and wants us dead. They'd rather join the enemy than serve us."

"Another thing just came to me. Red… Isn't this whole thing just a war declared by defects against other defects?"

Red's defensiveness and vulnerability was challenged further. Anger quickly mixed itself in and he glowered at Purple. His antennae pinned against the back of his cranium.

"You and I both know that it's not really like that," he uttered warningly.

Purple all too easily picked up on his friend's building rage. He would tread carefully but he would make his mind known. He would get the point across. There were some insights he had to share with his fellow emperor.

"Our defects, Red," he reiterated. "We grow close to other beings." He said your name. "I love her. She is my chosen, my mate. You love Pax. I know you're still upset over her."

"Don't bring her into this," Red snarled, baring his teeth at Purple. A low hiss came from him.

"We need to talk about this. Now that I understand what you went through and how it all feels, we need to discuss it."

"No, we're not going to talk about it, Purple!"

"Remember that time when you were so upset and overwhelmed by her death that you had to hand complete power over to me for a few days? You trusted me then. You were at your lowest and weakest then. You have to trust me now, Red. You know I won't abuse or use that trust. It's me."

"Yes, I know we're defects, okay?!" Red exhaled shakily. "We're not perfect! We're the youngest Tallest that ever reigned. It’s hard on us!”

"We might have to realize somethings. We might have to accept that some defects are not as bad as we once thought. Maybe…maybe we can talk to the Control Brains and ask them to ease up on some of the qualifications."

"Are you out of your mind?! They'll probably cull us right there if I make that suggestion! We have to obey them! We have to fulfill our duties. We don't want to end up like Tallest Murgo." He shuddered at the downloaded memory he received on his coronation.

"Maybe we can reduce the amount of enemies if we try to make some defects passable. I mean… is it really bad to have a mate and be with them?"

"If they're another species, yes!"

"I don't care. I never complained about you and Pax. I accepted it!" Purple was now becoming somewhat incensed but he maintained what control he had on the situation, knowing points needed to be made. "I didn't get it but I supported you! I saw how happy you were and I let it be! I accepted you and Pax. Now I want you to accept my choice."

"Purple, we can't argue about this now, this…"

"No. I know what I'm doing. I made my choice and I'm not going back on it. I love her a lot and I don't want anyone else. I know a war is going on and I know things are bad right now. But come on! This Human has helped me more times than I can count. She is smart and brave and she is loyal. She's looked out for me. She won't betray me. She won't betray you. She is not a threat to anyone. I need you to respect her and give her a chance. Please, Red. It's not much, that's all I want you to do for me."

Red couldn't deny it. His co-Tallest had fallen quite hard for this Earthling. It reminded him a lot of himself and Pax. But he couldn't help but feel protective and scared for Purple. The former ace pilot suspected this was all due to these treacherous and confusing instincts of his. It must've been some primitive Irken behavior that his PAK had failed to curb.

He distrusted the female alien. His opinion on them was less that optimistic thanks to Zim's observations and reports but if the exiled Invader was being continuously foiled by the one called "Dib", perhaps Humans weren't as pathetic and dumb as he initially suspected. Maybe Humans could prove to be potential threats. And now Purple was intimately entwined with one of these creatures. It would make the matters all the more complicated and unforeseeable.

This was a very delicate matter. Red knew he'd have to tread cautiously. Purple was fiercely defensive of his chosen female. He wanted his friend to be safe and happy as well. Perhaps if Purple had selected an Irken mate, he would've been less wary but Red knew he'd be constantly fretting if they were loyal or allied with the Resisty.

He knew Purple could be reckless and impulsive. But he knew Purple was also calculating and surprisingly aware and insightful at times. He could act childish and moronic but Red knew he was also efficient and deadly if motivated enough. He wouldn't forget how they were stuck behind enemy lines long ago and how Purple silently and stealthily picked off their foes one by one. Red knew he had to give him credit. Purple wasn't a total idiot but he chose to be one many times.

"I will tell you this right now, Purple," Red finally spoke, "I will speak to her in private."

"Don't threaten or hurt her," Purple immediately returned. "I will not be happy if I find out that you did either of those things."

"I need to understand her. I need to talk with her." He huffed. "I promise, I won't lay a hand on her. I can tell she means a lot to you. I just want to make sure she's alright… Can you understand that?"

Purple scowled but he nodded. He was a bit apprehensive of Red speaking to her privately but he'd allow it. He trusted him.

"Yeah, fine," he replied. "You'll see it's alright."

"We have enough problems going on right now, we don't need more," Red said.

"She's not a problem, Red!"

"You know what I mean, Purple. Geez, calm down. We just have to be careful and make sure we deal with what we have, okay?"

"I'm aware of that."

"Oh, speaking of new faces, I want you to meet someone else in turn." Red turned his head to the side and raised his voice. "Lime, come here!"

Purple glanced over in the direction Red turned. He didn't see anything or anyone at first.

But a few seconds later, he saw a tiny, green-eyed, female Irken emerge from the adjacent room which happened to be the kitchen. She was holding fast to a candy bar, and it looked like it was partially eaten.

"You're so tiny!" Purple blurted, giggling in amusement at her size. "I think you're just a little smaller than Zim and that's saying a lot!"

Lime shoved her half consumed snack into her back pocket and bowed to Purple once she got close enough. She also wiggled her antennae at him, being sure to give him proper respect and salutations.

"Hello, my Tallest," she greeted, totally ignoring Purple's comments. Maybe she should've been insulted but there was no jeering and scrutinizing edge in his voice. "I'm happy to finally meet you! It's nice that you've come back to us alive and well! We've missed you! My name is Lime."

"She's the newest member of our staff, Purple," Red introduced.

"Is she a table headed service drone?" Purple wondered. "Where's your table, Lime?"

"No, she's my personal assistant."

Purple blinked. He eyed Lime, unsure of why this very small Irken was granted the role of assistant. She didn't seem exemplary and she definitely wasn't even above average height for her species.

"She's the one who foiled Rarl Kove's assassination attempt," Red disclosed. "She used to be his service drone until she turned on him and warned me of my poisoned drink."

Purple's eyes grew larger. Now he understood why Red decided to make him a part of their entourage. That made things clearer to understand. That just explained everything.

"Nice!" Purple nodded and raised his drink to Lime. "Great job, keep up the good work! Thanks for looking out for Red while I couldn't!"

Lime blushed ferociously. Her face turned dark green and she temporarily averted her gaze, unable to look back at Purple. After a moment or two she forced herself to calm down and address her Tallest properly.

"Thank you, sir, but it was all in the line of duty," she said. "I was happy to help and reveal that my former master wasn't so loyal after all."

"So, you're Red's personal assistant," Purple noted. He looked back at Red. "Does that mean she can serve me too? Or do I have to get one of my own now?"

It seemed as if Red didn't know how to answer that question for a few seconds. He was silent but he finally gave Purple an awkward smile.

"Well, all of our staff serve us both so yeah, she will serve and obey you too, Purple," he said.

"Absolutely, sir," Lime nodded. "I can help you out with whatever you may need, my Tallest."

"Cool!" Purple beamed. "We could always use another staff member for something! Nice thinking, Red." He grinned. "Mind if I ask you to do something for me, Lime?"

"I'll do what I can, sir!"

"Go down to the landing pad and help out the female Earthling there. She might need assistance with her things. Besides, the both of you need to meet each other. She is going to be your fellow staff member as well."

It was time. Now Lime's next assignment was going to begin.

She bowed to Purple.

"Right away, my Tallest," she said.

"Watch out for Bambi too," Purple cut in. "But you should be fine."

"What's a Bambi, my Tallest?"

"Oh, you'll meet him too. And Baby. Don't worry about it!"

Lime only nodded and rushed off to do her new task.

Purple didn't notice until he refocused on Red that his co-Tallest was eyeing him suspiciously. Red's arms were folded across his chest and his legs were crossed. The more serious of the duo didn't look happy at all. In fact, he looked rather pissed and annoyed.

"Who or what is a Baby and a Bambi?" he demanded. "Are they other Earthlings you failed to tell me about?"

Purple cackled impishly. He leaned back in his seat and sipped at his beverage.

"What did Zim tell you about Earth animals?" he began. "Do you remember what dogs and rabbits are?"

(…)

"Bambi, it's cool, chill out!"

Oran and Kern were impressed by the ferocity of the furry, sharp-toothed beast that barked and snarled at them. His noise was loud and booming and it was obvious that if the Human wasn't restraining him, they'd be forced to defend themselves. They were happy that the Human was stronger than they assumed she was since she did an impressive job with restraining her animal companion.

They were told about the pets named Bambi and Baby. The small fur-demon, Baby, was not as threatening as the larger Earth animal but they were not expecting to see the tinier beast stomp its back legs loudly. This creature also grunted loudly before stomping and they weren't expecting it to react so defensively at them. It may have been small but it was poised to attack just like its larger counterpart.

They only had limited knowledge regarding Earth and less about its native fauna. They assumed that these animals were creatures used for battling or possibly for hunting. The two bodyguards weren't expecting to hear that dogs and rabbits were pets. They were even more vexed to learn that pets necessarily didn't have to have specific purposes or roles other than for simply companionship and happiness. Judging by the boldness and enthusiasm of the dog, they were certain he was an animal raised for gladiatorial games.

"But certainly this Bambi-beast is also used for protection," Oran asked, her eyes still focused on the large mutt. "He wants to eat our spooches."

"Dogs are used for guarding and protection," you confirmed. "I used him for protection and companionship back home on Earth."

"What threats was he used to ward off?" Kern jumped in.

"Bears, drunkards, poachers, foxes, raccoons…" You tightened your hold on the leash. "Trust me, he's actually very friendly and approachable. He's just…" You weren't going explain to the alien that your dog was a xenophobe. "He is afraid of strangers and he acts like this. I'm working on it. He loves Purple!"

"Maybe Tallest Purple and Tallest Red can use him for guard duty!" Kern's eyes lit up. "He may maul and feast on the unworthy!"

Yeah, no.

Luckily, Baby was not the problem child. She merely huddled in a corner and warily watched the two guards, stomping loudly at them whenever they looked in her general direction. God, why did you bring them with you… That may have been a colossal mistake.

"It'll be fine," you said, telling yourself and them that. "And honestly, I appreciate the help. "Can I ask you to bring my clothes up and this bag of dog and rabbit toys while I take care of these animals real quick?"

"Of course!" Oran answered. "That is what we are here for. We'll take these things to your room and return to help out some more."

"Thanks!"

Oran dutifully scooped up the bag of your pets' toys while Kern plucked up the duffle bag that you stuffed with clothes you were theoretically going to wear for the next few days. The pair hauled off their respective loads and hustled out of the ship to fulfill their duties.

You kept Bambi at your side and forced him to remain calm. He persisted in growling at the retreating Irken guards and his hair still bristled. Sooner or later, he'd have to get over his fear and loathing of aliens. This was getting tiresome.

Once they made it to the elevator and entered it, you released him. Instead of bolting to the spot where Oran and Kern last stood, Bambi held his ground. He remained at your side then sat down. His head was pointed towards the elevator. More than likely, he was going to wait for them to return then probably start his racket again.

"You be nice," you said sternly. "That's enough of your shit. You got used to Purple, you can used to others."

He whined quietly and looked up at you. His brown and black head tilted to the side and he gazed back at you inquisitively.

"Be good," you practically begged him. "Please, Bambi, be good. I don't need you attacking someone, I've got enough things to worry about now."

You almost forgot you had Baby's own leash tied around your left forearm. There was only a handful of times where you put her harness on and that was when you'd take her outside for fresh air and to eat some grass. Luckily, she was behaving and not causing too much trouble but she clearly voiced her fear and distrust.

"Come here, Grumpy," you said, kneeling down to pick her up.

She snorted unhappily but didn't stomp. You carried her back into the ship and gingerly placed her down in her cage. Instantly she crawled into her box, happy to hide and lurk under there for a bit.

"Bambi, come!" you called.

Faithfully, he answered you and clambered back into the ship. He panted softly and sat down at your side once again.

"Stay here," you said. "I need to go outside for some fresh air and not worry about you trying to kill folks." You pointed to the bone on the floor. "Go get your bone and hush for a while, okay?"

He did just that. Bambi happily bounded over to the well gnawed object and plucked it up. He took it over to his dog bed and laid down in it while he chewed and slobbered all over his toy.

Relieved to see him distracted, you took your leave. You exited the shuttle and made sure the windshield retracted behind you, keeping the animals safe and contained. You stepped out of the ship and into the warm air of Ravia's early evening.

There were lampposts that lit up your surroundings so you were relieved to have some light you could work with. There were even small lights at the bottom of the watery ring, allowing you to see into it even now. The things in the water that you noticed earlier were indeed fish and they reminded you a lot of the koi goldfish back home. They were in a dazzling display of colors and their fins were fine and billowy. They ranged in colors that from light and dark hues of green, red, orange, gray, blue, bronze, white and yellow. They swam about slowly yet gracefully, almost looking as if they were waltzing in their environment.

Watching these unearthly fish calmed you. The water gleamed in the artificial light and your head briefly turned up to the sky. There was no starlight yet there was one moon and it looked like it was in its half phase.

The meeting with Red could've gone better but it could've been a whole lot worse. You knew it was coming and it finally occurred. You felt relieved that part was done but now you had another ordeal. Now you had to win his trust and prove to him you weren't a threat or had some ulterior motives.

Not even Purple knew what you planned to do. Only Minwa knew. And you wouldn't tell another soul about it. You wanted to keep this as secretive as possible.

No, you weren't going to hurt Purple or use him maliciously. You weren't like that. But you knew that you had to destroy the Control Brains somehow.

Maybe you weren't really being truthful and transparent. But you couldn't let them know either because they'd obviously stop you. That was out of the question. There was no turning back on this mission. And you knew you had to accomplish it no matter what.

Way too much hung in the balance.

"I'm something of an aquarist myself."

When you heard that voice and realized you weren't alone, you almost fell into the gently streaming water. Feeling spooked and embarrassed, your head instantly face the direction where you heard this person's voice originate from.

You saw a figure walking towards the ring you stood in. They walked past the lampposts as they drew closer but you only caught glimpses of what they looked like. They wore long, pink and gold robes. It somewhat reminded you of Purple's Tallest outfit but they were no corseting rings and instead of the gauntlets, their arms were completely covered by sleeves and their clawed hands were concealed by black gloves. They had to have been Irken at least.

When they finally made it to the closest lamppost and stepped into the entrance of the ringed parking space you stood on, you saw them. The light green skin tone and the black, uncurled antennae told you it was a male Irken. He was also very tall, taller than you by at least a foot. He had to have been about seven feet tall but the likes of Purple and Red still towered over him. His eyes were a bright pink, almost looking like a lighter magenta. His posture was straight and he walked closer to you with grace. He looked like someone important and it seemed like this guy knew it too.

Finally, he stopped when he was a few feet away from you. At least he was giving you personal space. He was smiling at you but it wasn't toothy or nefarious-looking. He seemed approachable and affable enough.

"I take it that you like those fish?" he asked.

His voice was smooth and level. There was no condescending air to it and he seemed like he was totally at ease and comfortable in your presence.

"Uh, yeah, they're nice," you said, feeling a little spooked and unsure of what to do or say.

"I'm sorry, I probably should've introduced myself properly," the lordly-looking Irken said. He rested his hand on his chest. "My name is Kaus. I'm the Governor of Ravia."

Oh. Oh, it was this guy.

Okay, there was no need to panic. You just had to play it off cool. Be civil, be polite and don't get wrapped up with this guy. It was totally possible that Purple was blowing him out of proportion and that the stories and rumors weren't as true as he asserted that they were. The Party-lord was your host and he was greeting you.

You gave him your name. There was a little bit of a stammer in your voice but you gave him a smile.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting to meet you like this," you explained. "I thought I was going to be seeing you tomorrow or sometime later."

"That was the plan but I wanted to stop by and make sure you and you the other guests were comfortably situated. I tried contacting Tallest Red but I suppose he is still having a conference with Tallest Purple. I only wanted to make sure all of your needs were met and you were satisfied with your lodging."

"Oh, it's all fine. Really, this place is gorgeous and extravagant. I don't have any complaints."

"Thank you kindly. I try very hard to make Ravia the brightest and most beautiful jewel of the Irken Empire. And that also includes making sure all visitors and guests are welcomed and accommodated. I aim to make sure all enjoy their stay, regardless of whether they're a Tallest, a service drone or a conquered species. Because honestly? Life is too short and you have to have some fun and excitement!" He hummed quietly. "I take it that you agree?"

"Yes. There's nothing wrong with a little fun and partying now and then. All work and no play is no good for anyone."

"I can also say I'm delighted to finally meet an actual Earthling!" Kaus grinned, betraying his glee. "I've met countless aliens but ever since I caught wind of your species, I've always wanted to meet an actual Earthling. Yours is certainly taller than many races. Taller than average anyway." He literally came a few inches closer, looking over you and admiring your height. "We Irken can respect that. Your species also has impeccable taste in music."

"Yeah… How do you know about our music?"

"Your world broadcasts all of those wonderful, infectious songs and they end up travelling through space on radio waves. Sometimes, we end up intercepting and receiving those waves and we can play and record your music. Your species has been doing that for many years and we only realized it came from your planet when Invader Zim was sent out to it." He laughed softly. "You might be happy to know that Earth music is very popular in a lot of the nightclubs here."

You had to admit, that was a bit cool. You could've sworn you heard a song or two being played on Bob's ship but you didn't pay attention to much of anything during that period. Survival and being on your way was your main objective at that point. But that just made you wonder what other things ended up unwittingly being broadcast into the cosmos. That was a thought that made you shudder in secondhand embarrassment and abject horror.

"Tell me, are you the tallest female of your race?" he asked.

This felt like a flirtatious question. You felt that in the pit of your gut but you ignored it, believing you were just nervous and jumping to conclusions too quickly. He was an alien and never met a Human before. He was curious and if he was just merely being friendly and inquisitive, you weren't going to condemn him for that.

"I'm not the tallest or the shortest," you answered. "I like to think I'm average or in the middle. If that makes sense. What made you ask that?"

"Well, Tallest Purple chose you," he stated. "I'm sure you may know this by now but we Irken are admirers of tall beings. Most of my kind hate other species but I don't quite fit into that mold I guess." He laughed lightly. "You may be average for your kind but you might be an anomaly according to others. See, I love my job. I love a good time and I love meeting new people, even aliens. Other species have so many things to offer and share. For example, your music. It makes so many visitors and natives happy here."

It was strange. This guy was a total contrast of the other Tallest you just met not too long ago. Kaus was open and unjudging. Red was a straight up dick. Already, you had a preference over the two. But you still knew you had to tread lightly. Purple's warnings still held a firm grip on you.

"Also, don't be modest," he added.

"With what?" you wondered, your nose wrinkling.

"I'm sure you know our sense of smell is keen. I can smell my Tallest all over you."

You couldn't say anything. All you could really do was deadpan and stare back at him in shock and disbelief. Your eyes were large and unblinking. What could you say to that? There was nothing.

"You are a very lovely Human," he said, "but I know that if I said that in front of my Tallest, he would kill me on the spot himself." Despite saying that, Kaus only laughed and shrugged. "I know you are claimed and I won't challenge that. Your features are so charming and I know that if was the same as I was a decade ago, I would've probably been more reckless and perhaps pursued you."

Okay then. Perhaps Purple wasn't exaggerating. He wasn't making a mountain out of a mile hill and being jealous and overprotective. This was legitimate.

"I apologize," Kaus said, his pink eyes widened subtly. "That is inappropriate. But I speak my mind and I like to appreciate beauty when I see it."

"That's…that's fine," you said, trying to brush it off. At least he was honest and open from what you could tell but Lord, that was awkward and a bit creepy. "I'm flattered but yes, uh, Purple and I are involved."

"That's something I will not touch." His open and friendly expression turned hard. "You have my word and honor."

"May I help you, Party-lord?"

Neither you or Kaus were expecting a third conversant to jump into things. Immediately, the both of you shut up and looked in the direction where this interloper was coming from.

You beheld an unfamiliar and small Irken female approaching. She was coming from the direction of the penthouse. You had no idea who he was an you found yourself baffled for as long as you kept your eyes on her.

"Assistant Lime," Kaus acknowledged, "how are you tonight?"

"My Tallest sent me down to assist the Earthling with whatever she may need," the tiny, green-eyed creature retorted. "My Party-lord…" she bowed to him. "I thought we weren't expecting you until the morning."

"I tried to contact Tallest Red to see if he needed anything at all but I could not get a hold of him. I decided to come here myself and I happened across her." He said your name and gestured to you. "This is our Earthling guest we've heard about and I was just introducing myself to her."

"All is well, sir, we don't need anything. We have enough snacks for the night and everything is perfect as is."

Lime's tone was dismissive. You raised a brow, impressed by her metaphorical balls. For someone so small, she was speaking to an Irken that clearly dwarfed her. She must've had some attitude or some sort of unspoken power or privilege that enabled her to get away with something like this.

"Good, I am glad," Kaus said. "If that is the case, I will return in the morning as planned. I bid you ladies a good evening. Enjoy yourselves in the penthouse, will you?"

The Governor of Ravia took his leave. He nodded his head at you and without saying another word, he departed. The tall Irken male turned and went back in the direction from whence he came. Mixed in the sounds of the softly flowing water, you could hear the click of his boots on the pavement. He melted into the shadows of the night and the surrounding structures in no times at all.

"He hasn't bothered you?"

"No," you responded. "He was harmless. He introduced himself and that was it."

Lime peered off into the direction where Kaus vanished into. Her gaze lingered for a few more moments before she ultimately focused on you.

"Sorry about that," she said. "He has a reputation and with you being close to Tallest Purple, it's best to steer clear from him."

"I understand," you agreed. "Purple already warned me about this guy. I was just being polite and not trying to be too rude and telling him to hit the road. I don't want to leave a bad impression."

"Yes, but it was agreed that he was to show up in the morning. That was made clear. But I don't want to cause trouble, I just want to make my Tallest happy and keep things running smoothly." She exhaled and let it go. Then she gave you a smile. "Now, proper introductions are in order… I'm Lime. I'm the Tallests' personal assistant."

"Hi, Lime, pleased to meet you." You gave her your name. "But I'm sure you already know it and whatnot."

"Indeed, but manners are still nice."

"I agree. A bit of manners and politeness goes a long way… in theory at least."

"So, what can I help you with?"

"The guards, Oran and Kern, already took somethings up a few minutes ago. They should be back any second now I'm guessing. I have most of my things collected but I have a few more things I want to gather. Maybe you can help me carry some pillows?"

"Sure, I can do that."

"Okay, let me go in first. My dog, Bambi, may not be very happy to see you so I have to keep him in check."

Lime's antennae flicked at that reveal. Her face scrunched up in befuddlement and she looked like she was trying to think hard or recall something.

"What's a dog?" she asked, sounding totally puzzled.

"It's a more of show and don't tell thing to fully understand," you answered. "All I ask is that you remain calm and show you're not a threat. Wait here until I call for you."

"…okay."

You walked closer to the shuttle and the windshield retracted. Bambi wasn't at it so he was likely still occupied with his bone and completely ignorant of what was going on. You climbed aboard and made a beeline to where the dog still languished in his bed. Then you wrapped your hand around his collar, holding fast to it. He was completely compliant and busy in his activity and didn't mind it at all.

"Okay, Lime!" you called. "Come in!"

Within seconds, you saw Lime walk into the room. She had her PAK limbs extended out and you heard the skittering and pitter patter of the metal arms on the floor. Apparently, she seemed like she was taking no chances.

Bambi instantly caught sight of her. He dropped his bone and growled lowly, his hair sticking up along his haunches.

"Be nice," you sternly commanded. "You stay here and be nice. Shush and chew your bone, Bambi."

Lime instantly zeroed on the furry beast that was growling at her. She wasn't expecting something like this. These animals were onboard with her Tallest and this Earthling? What purpose did they serve?

But her attention was lured elsewhere when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. Lime swiveled to that area, seeing a smaller but equally furry creature in a cage. All she beheld a beast with what looked like huge extensions sticking out from the top of its head. The animal stared back at her with its large brown eyes. It stood up on its hind legs against the bars of the cage and its nose wiggled and twitched, sniffing the air.

Lime was totally transfixed. She was completely devoted to the creature before her and Bambi's growls had all but faded out.

"What is this?" she asked, her voice soft and filled with amazement. "And what are those huge things on her head?

"That's Baby," you said. "She's a rabbit. Just don't get too close, she might bite. And, uh, those are here ears."

Lime's PAK appendages retreated into their space. She knelt down in front of the cage, spellbound by the bunny. A smile cracked across her face and was tempted to try to touch Baby despite your warning. However, she resisted the desire, not wanting to feel foolish if she was actually bit.

"I like her!" Lime declared. "She looks fluffy and soft and warm!" She turned back to your briefly. "Human, may I touch and pet this rabbit when you are settled?"

You were relieved and amused by her reaction to Baby.

"Sure," you said. "She doesn't seem afraid of you so it should be alright. She didn't like Purple when she first met him so I'm happy to see that she's not afraid of you."

"You will have to tell me everything about rabbits!" Lime grinned. Her antennae wiggled in delight and excitement.

Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as you thought it would be.

Chapter Text

Chapter 36 Friendly Warnings

(the next morning)

"I'm the Scatman..!"

That was the first thing you heard. The song was more than familiar to you and for a fleeting second, you thought you were home. The music rung out clearly and was rather loud, jostling you awake and forcing you out of your deep slumber.

A few seconds after the music started to play, you heard a soft mechanical whirr. Even though your eyes were still shut, you could tell the room was getting brighter. The blinds must've been retracting and letting some Ravian sunshine into the bedroom.

"Everybody stutters one way or the other so check out my message to you. As a matter of fact don't let nothing hold you back, if the Scatman can do it so can you..!"

You groaned lowly. You were in a dead sleep and as soon as you settled in the bed, you hadn't stirred or woke up in the middle of the night at all. Honestly, you didn't realize how tired you must've been until this moment. Sleep still clouded your brain and you were tempted to turn over and go back to bed. Yet that music kept playing and it seemed like it was coming from everywhere.

In fact, who the Hell even set this alarm clock anyway? Was this an antic of Purple's? Maybe this was Red being a vindictive jerk?

Finally, your eyes cracked open. You were annoyed and agitated. Sunlight flooded the large, luxurious bedroom, illuminating it and filling it with warmth.

Then you sat up in bed. You looked around, seeing it was empty save for the pile of bags you had in a corner in the room. Bambi's dog bed and Baby's cage was also empty and there was neither hide nor hair of them in the immediate area. A surge of alarm filled you when you saw they were absent but you had a hunch Purple was taking care of them. Since you taught him a thing or two about animal husbandry, he actively and willingly helped you out with them. He actually was pretty good about it too…unless if it came down to poo disposal but then again, no one enjoyed that task.

The music kept playing and you looked around, trying to find an alarm clock or something. There was nothing on the nightstand on your side of the bed. The other side of the bed was still made and it looked like Purple didn't join you at all. You had a feeling that was gonna be the case and with him not needing as much sleep as an Earthling so it wasn't so shocking.

"I'm the Scatman! I'm the Scatman!"

With a groan you slung your legs over the bedside. Then you got up, standing and stiffly walking away.

Yet as soon as you did that, the alarm stopped. You blinked, finding it peculiar that it only ceased when you finally got up out of bed. It must've been some form of alien alarm clock that only shut off when the occupant left their bed. It was an interesting feature but you were still a little cranky from having been disturbed. The fascination could wait for now.

You walked over to the bedroom door and as you drew closer, it automatically parted on its own. Sleepily, you stepped out into the hallway. You let out a yawn and shuffled along, making your way to the kitchen. Maybe some toast would cheer you up. Maybe some food in your belly would lighten your spirits and make you more agreeable.

You walked into the kitchen a minute or so later and looked around. There was a bowl of cheesy nachos on the table along with some random, loose cookies, chocolate bars and some other miscellaneous goodies. Yeah, there was no way you could stomach eating all those sugary foods this early.

When you approached the refrigerator to see if there might be any bread in there, you saw a piece of paper stuck to the outside of it. It was taped to the surface and judging by the handwriting, it was Purple's.

"Morning, babe! Sorry for setting the alarm clock but I wanted to get you up early. I want to show you a lot of things today. Also, try to skip breakfast, I made a reservation for us at a restaurant and I think you'll really like the food they have there! I took Baby and Bambi out to the courtyard so they can get fresh air. Freshen up, get dressed and wait for me, I'll see you soon. Love you lots! -Purple."

Some of that grumpiness immediately dissolved away when you read that letter. A smile settled on your face and you sighed happily. You supposed toast could wait…

"Morning."

You gasped a little too loudly when you heard that voice suddenly chime in. Almost instantly, you were hit with dread and apprehension. You were afraid to even turn around and face your company.

But you forced yourself to face him. You wanted to start things on the right foot. Red's approval was important.

He was leaning against the kitchen island. The Tallest idly sipped at his beverage and was looking back at you with an unreadable, almost neutral look in his red eyes.

"Good morning, Red," you said, nodding at him and giving him a small smile.

"So you know Purple took those furry monsters out to run around," he assumed.

"Yeah. That was nice of him to do that."

"The big one tried to bite my arm off." Red grinned. "I probably should've been angry but I'm not. I'm impressed!"

"I'm trying to work on him with that. He has to realize you're not a threat and he'll warm up to you. I mean, look how comfortable he is with Purple. Bambi listens to him as well as he does with me."

"I can admire your dog-beast for being untrusting of strangers. He's wary, suspicious and not afraid to lash out." His smile turned a smidge darker and wider. Red gestured to one of the stools around the island. "Take a seat. I wanna have a little chat with you."

This was due. This was something that you were going to have to deal with sooner or later. And now the time had finally come. There was no point in trying to back out or delaying it. Besides, dodging it might make you seem all the more untrustworthy to him.

Without hesitation, you sat down. When you did that, Red took his own seat across from you. He softly set down his drink and leaned in closer to you.

"So, Purple came to Earth and took shelter with you?" he asked.

Maybe he was checking your story out. You weren't sure what the two Tallest said to each other last night and frankly that was none of your business. You weren't going to trespass on that conversation unless Purple invited you to join it.

"Yeah, he actually crashed in the state park I live and work in," you said. "I'm a ranger, I make sure the park is safe and secure for both animals and people. He came to my house because it was closest to the crash site. We…" You laughed nervously at the recollection. "We didn't get along at first. We hated each other. But he told me he was hiding from people who wanted to kill him and he explained he was on the run. I let him take shelter in my house because I knew that if my planet's authorities got a hold of him, it wouldn't be pretty. I felt bad and I let him stay with me."

"He told me you sheltered him from your Earth government. You did it willingly. You could've betrayed him but you didn't."

"Yes. I didn't want to be a jerk and throw him to the wolves. Plus…" You shrugged. "I was a bit scared he'd kill me and my animals if I didn't cooperate. Besides, if I was a refugee stranded on another planet and was at the mercy of the locals, I would hope and want to be treated kindly too."

"We don't have that sort of concept in our race and culture." Red's grin was toothy. "Seems like Earthlings are way softer than the average Irken."

"You're certainly not the average Irken though."

That smug smile faded instantly. His antennae temporarily flattened against the back of his head. For a second, he looked caught or guilty.

"I'm aware of that," he begrudgingly confided. "And you know the same goes for Purple."

"Yes, I know,” you said evenly.

"I can't look away from it and play dumb, y'know? Even if I tried my hardest, I couldn't do it. I know it and see it all too easily and well. I know that he is devoted to you. But I wonder about you."

"I can understand your concerns, Red. You don't get Humans. And I know you're worried about him. You don't want him to get hurt."

"He asked me to respect you and accept you." His stare hardened. "Don't give me a reason to not follow his wishes. Are we on the same page?"

There was no doubt in his mind that he was being deadly serious. You weren't going to cross Red. There was only one person Purple would really, truly listen to and trust as much as he did and that was his co-Tallest. You weren't going to infringe upon their friendship or pin them against each other. You didn't want them to have a falling out or toxic disagreement over you. You didn't want that at all. They deserved to be friends for life.

"I fully understand," you said. "I will show you that there is nothing to fear from me."

"The more I think about it, the more I see you're not a Resisty spy," he stated. "Your planet is isolated and Zim would've definitely reported to us if your planet allied itself with them. Your world is very backwater and isolated. And you've been under Purple's nose all this time so I highly doubt you're working with the enemy."

"I can assure you that I'm not with them. I'm loyal to Purple."

"If you're loyal to him, you're also loyal to me by default."

That was something you couldn't avoid. They were both Tallest. They worked together as one.

"All I want is for Purple to be happy," you said. "I care about him. I want him safe and happy and I want nothing but the best for him. They both of us care deeply about him. I just want us two to get along."

"I'm also doing this as a favor to him," Red continued. "I figured it's something I can do for him. Something I can say thanks for."

"I…I know about her."

A pained expression flashed across his face for an instant. He bit his lower lip and tried to disguise it but you caught it. Though he was Irken, he very much seemed human in that second.

"He accepted and respected us," the Tallest sighed. "He never tried to get rid of Pax or drive us apart. I can repay the same for him. Don't hurt him. Don't use him. Make him happy and take care of him."

"I give you my word, Red," you earnestly promised. "I love him and the very last thing I want to do is hurt him and betray him."

Very dearly, Red wished Purple would never experience the grief and pain he felt with Pax's demise. He wouldn't want that pain on anyone. It was unlike anything he ever felt before. Purple could indeed be impulsive and didn't think things through at times but for the most part, Red was sure he knew what he was doing. The concept of Purple having a female of his own was a subject that made him wary and worried but that went without saying.

"Make sure you watch after yourself too," Red added. "Do it for his sake." He looked grim as he fell silent for a moment. "I'm not sure what he told you about Pax but I will tell you this. She died because she was too trusting and stubborn. She didn't heed the warning I gave to her about Lyn."

You knew that Lyn's worsening stability and feral envy was the cause of this cataclysm in the Empire. She lashed out and murdered the woman Red was fond of. Purple told you that much about it. A part of you felt bad for the Tallest. You knew and could tell that he was still very much hurting from that day. A little over two years may have passed but you knew that it would continue to pain him for many more years after. Although the Irken race was supposed to be above such trivial sensations and emotional inconveniences, they were not perfect. No, it was quite the opposite. Zim was a perfect example. Even Red and Purple were suitable candidates to show off the deviances and imperfections of this supposed invulnerable and omnipotent society.

"That's the only reason why I'm gonna tolerate you," he said, his tone turning scrutinizing and sharp. "Purple cares about you. So, don't screw it up. Consider this as a friendly warning."

Oh, your understanding was crystal clear. As far as you were concerned, you weren't betraying anyone's trust. Red's threats were thinly veiled. While they did intimidate you, you also didn't particularly take them to heart only because you would never willingly or consciously betray your significant other. The grieving Tallest's words were merely reminders to you.

If you were to plot against the Control Brains, you would also have to watch out for him. Purple might be more forgiving and naïve about your efforts to destroy them. But Red? That was a different story. He was watching you like a hawk and pretty much announced it. You'd have to be shrewd, methodical and calculating. Ideally, there should be no room for error or slipups.

"I get it," you said. "Thanks for the…heads up."

"Seeing as how I'm going to be exposed to you indefinitely, I figured I'd make myself clear on that," he grinned. "We should get along just fine as long as you do as you say." He took a long, loud sip of his drink. "Well, you ought to go get ready for your date. I know Purple is really looking forward to it."

"Yeah, I suppose I ought to go do that."

"Then hop to it, Earthling."

You'd gladly take your leave. Red didn't have the best manners but then again, Purple didn't either. They were like two peas in a pod.

"You also missed out on Party-lord Kaus," Red called out.

You halted in your footsteps and looked over your shoulder. You turned, facing Red.

"I know he dropped by out of the blue last night and he met up with you and Lime," he explained.

"I'm sorry, I like my men taller than Kaus," you retorted.

"As you should."

"I know of his reputation."

"And you know Kaus would be so quickly replaced if he ever got too bold." Red snickered. "He is an Irken lord and he is one of the tallest in our entire population. He might be one of the tallest but he is not the Tallest. Everyone below the Tallest is fair game."

You didn't get what he was hinting at or alluding to here. Maybe he was thinking Kaus was trying to swoon you and he had a slight hope that it worked? Maybe he was hoping Kaus had succeeded so Red would have some evidence to get rid of you? You had no earthly idea. But what you did know was that you were not comfortable with this.

"Whatever Kaus does is on him," you answered. "I don't even know him. But as a perfectly functional adult Irken, he should know better, right?"

"Purple never told you this," Red said as he still sat at the island in the middle of the kitchen. "This happened just after we were crowned Tallest and we were here on Ravia for our coronational party. Out of all the folks that were crammed into the penthouse with us, there was only one I was really happy to see… I met up with Pax again for the first time in a few decades. We knew each other for almost our whole lives but we had different career fields so we went to different planets and academies as we got older to focus on our designated paths." He took another long, hard swig of his drink. Red fell silent as he recollected on that memory. "We reconnected so quickly and so fast, it just…happened." A nostalgic smile parted across his face. "At the very end of the celebrations, we decided to become a thing."

What was this weirdness? Was this somehow a way an Irken grieved? You knew he didn't care much for you so why was he telling you this? And why didn't Purple know about this incident? You had so many questions and you had a feeling you wouldn't get answers to every single one of them. Just what was Red trying to get at?

"I was pulled away from Pax's side because General Evous wanted a chat with me and Purple," Red went on. He rolled his eyes. "We just put up with it because he wanted to congratulate us personally or something like that, honestly I don't even remember what it was about. But when it was done and over with, Purple and I split up to interact with the other guests. I went straight back to Pax and she wasn't alone."

The dark and angered tone in his voice alarmed you. It made your eyes widen ever so slightly.

Now you had an idea of where this was going.

"Kaus rushed in, didn't he?" you asked.

Red nodded grimly. His clawed fingers folded together. Despite his hotly colored eyes, his glare was like frostbite.

"That scavenger swept in when I left her alone," he went on. "I lost control as soon as I it. She looked uncomfortable and he was just eating her up with his eyes. You have no how lucky we were that we were on the balcony and away from the main party. I confronted them and I grabbed Kaus by his neck. I was so close to throwing him over the railing and letting him fall to his death."

"Why didn't you do it?" you pressed. "No one would probably question or reprimand you for it if you were now one of the Tallest."

"Because Pax begged me not to. She said it was supposed to be a night of celebration and she said Kaus was young like us and full of promise." He scoffed. "I think she just felt bad for him. He was whimpering, crying and pleading when I was dangling him over the edge. He was pathetic. I wanted so badly to get rid of him. It was at that moment that I realized I cared more for Pax than I previously thought. I didn't even see that I loved her and saw her as a potential mate until I was about to kill Kaus."

"But you didn't…seeing as he's still alive and whatnot."

"She made me see reason. I spared Kaus and he swore that he didn't know Pax and I were close. I didn't see it until then as I've said. This penthouse? This used to be Kaus' residence. He gave it to me as an apology. The whole incident was kept between the three of us and after it was resolved, that was it. It was never spoken of again. Pax took that to her doom and Kaus and I will do the same."

"Why didn't you tell Purple about it? Are you ever gonna tell him for that matter?"

"He'll find out one day. And I prefer that you not tell him I told you about it either. I never bothered to tell him because Purple never found out about our relationship until some years after we'd been together. I was unsure how he'd react at first so I kept it low and quiet. Then eventually he learned."

"Why bother to tell me about this?"

"Because you need to understand something." He addressed you by your name. "You and I both know that Purple sees Kaus as a threat. I don't want him causing trouble and blowing his top off. I'm the reasonable one. I'm the levelheaded one and you have to be if you're a pilot. As for Purple?" He laughed softly. "He won't think twice about turning Kaus inside out. He always has been more merciless and brutal than me. Purple will not tolerate competition and if he sees another male Irken getting too comfy with you, you'll be splattered with his spooch and blood before you'd even know something was happening. Keep him calm while we're here on Ravia. Make him happy and distract him."

You had a feeling Purple could be a little confrontational and overprotective. You were reminded of that when you met Bob on the convenience store planet. He warned you about Kaus and voiced his displeasure with him.

"We Irken can be very greedy," Red smiled. "We are greedy with our belongings, our food and the things we deem as ours. And that includes the people we choose as our mates. Kaus met you last night and I'm sure he could smell Purple on you just like I can. Kaus likes the ladies but after what he went through, I don't think he'll repeat the same mistake again."

"I see," you said. "Thanks for the story and tip. I'll definitely keep it in mind everything you said."

Red only gave you a simple nod. He looked away from you and you took that as your cue to move along.

(…)

"I did tell you that you look great, right?"

You smiled and scooted closer to him. One of his arms came around your waist and he pulled you even closer.

"Yes, like six times already," you chuckled. "But I appreciate it, thank you, Purple."

"That's a sundress?" he asked, looking at you up and down. "I wish I saw you wear them on Earth but here is just as nice too! I only wish I knew you had them on earlier."

"Why, so you could try them on yourself?"

"They wouldn't be able to cover my legs, the skirt isn't long enough. But it does look comfy! Looks way comfier than my Tallest uniform!"

"Then I shouldn't be too surprised when I walk into my room one day and you're trying one of them on?"

"No guarantees, babe."

Purple snickered and pressed a kiss to your cheek. He kept you close to him and one of his hands softly ran over the curve of your hips. The Tallest rested his head atop yours, completely happy to cuddle you like this until the cab took you to your destination.