Work Text:
Santa called to make sure I’m prepared
He said “Wrap the gifts with all your love and care”
The wind blows snow up in the sky
But I won’t let the wind delay my flight
I’ll be home with my love this Christmas
I promise, I promise I’ll be home
December 14th
“C’mon, it’s already way too late for the two of you”, Louis tells his kids.
It’s after eight, and usually at least Tony, the youngest, is fast asleep at this time. It’s dark outside already, the fairy lights Louis put up around their garden fence illuminating the garden enough to make the rain visible.
Louis had enjoyed reading and drinking a coup of tea, when his six year old daughter and his four year old son came wandering into the living room for the third time this evening, eyes tired and hair disheveled. They’d asked for their Dad, and Louis had told given them kisses and brought them back to bed. But Louis can tell by the way his son’s lower lip starts quivering that he’s about to tear up.
“Tony, baby. Look, you’re tired. Let’s get you to bed” He sighs, lifting him up to his hips. “You, too, Gwen” He takes his older daughter at the hand and makes his way upstairs with them. He tried to get them to sleep for the past hour, but they keep coming back downstairs, demanding to speak with Harry.
Once he’s settled them into bed, tucked both of them in and kissed both of their foreheads, Gwen looks up at him. “Wake me up when Dad calls, yeah?”
Louis’ heart breaks at that. “I promise. Now, try to sleep, okay? I love you”
“Love you too”, she mumbles, already halfway asleep.
When Harry’s away on business trips, the deal usually is that he calls at least once a day at bedtime. And for the last six years, since they adopted Gwen, it had worked perfectly fine.Louis still remembers fondly how Harry used to sneak away from whatever dinner or meeting he was at to sing his daughter a lullaby. But in the last couple of months, Harry’s started to get a bit wishy-washy about the calls. Sure, he’s busy but Louis is still the one with a four- and a six-year old at home, having to explain why Daddy isn’t there to tell them goodnight.
Eventually, when Louis is busy cleaning up the mess from dinner, his phone rings. He dries off his hands and picks up.
“Hi”, he greets his husband.
“Hey, babe. Everything alright?” Harry’s voice is calm, and something about it makes Louis fume.
“Excellent. Where are you right now?”
“Chicago. Just got out of a meeting, how are the kids?”
Louis scoffs, sitting down on the couch between a basket of folded laundry and a bunch of toys he still has to put away. “Oh, so you do remember that you have two kids”
“Louis. Are you mad?” Harry sounds surprised, like he can’t imagine what could be upsetting Louis.
“Let me think. I just put a crying Tony to bed for the third time tonight, Gwen is upset because she hasn’t talked to her Dad today, and you didn’t call on time for the second time this week. And it’s only Thursday. I can deal with you calling late, but they can’t. They’re kids, they need their parents around and a set routine.”
“I’m sorry, Louis. Look, I wish things were different, but we need to clear this deal and then I’ll be home, I promise” Harry tells him, and Louis’ heart aches. He just wishes he’d be here, for once.
It’s not like Louis doesn’t know that he lives the life he lives right now because of how hard Harry works, and it’s not like he doesn’t appreciate it. He loves their big house right outside of London, with its large garden and high ceilings and brick facades. He loves that Gwen’s able to attend a good school and he appreciates their nanny, Belinda, who takes care of the kids while Louis is working his part-time job at the tattoo studio.But every once in a while, he thinks to himself how he would be fine with living in a tiny apartment and working full-time if it meant that Harry would be around more often.
December 17th
Harry doesn’t come home after clearing the deal in Chicago for the law firm he works for, but instead has to jet off to God knows where.
“They miss you, Harry”, Louis tells him over FaceTime one night. And I do too , Louis thinks to himself.
“I know, I know. I miss them too, you know.”
“Yes, but you’re not here. Tony asked me today whether you’d be there for Christmas, and my birthday. You know what I had to tell him? That I don’t know, because you promise this, and then you promise that, but you’re never actually there. And when you are, you bring them thousands of gifts as if it’d make up for all the weeks they’ve missed you every single night, when all they want is to spend time with their Dad.
“They’re your kids, too, Harry. Sometimes I feel like you’re forgetting that. You’re not the funny uncle that comes to stay for a week once in a month, okay? I’m not a single parent, you’re in this as well.”
Louis tries to swallow lump in his throat, tries to loosen the knot in his stomach, but it’s too much. Missing Harry is too much, taking care of two little children on his own is too much, being angry and upset with Harry all the time is too much. By the way Harry is rubbing his face with his hands and tugging his hair, Louis can tell he’s just as upset.
“Lou. I’ll be there, I’ll come home after this week, I pr—”
“No.”, Louis cuts him off. “No, don’t promise anything. Just- Just tell me when you’re actually on your way home, or when you’re actually in London. I’m sick of this” He hangs up then.
When they got married, they promised each other in their vows to never go to bed angry, to always listen to each other. Their mums started crying at that point, and Louis and Harry did too.
Seven years later, Louis feels like he threw that into the wind a while ago. He sleeps alone in their queen size bed, always leaving the right side empty for Harry, in case he comes home. He almost always wakes up to the empty space being untouched. There isn’t an exact point where Harry started being on business trips more often than not. Sometime around Tony’s third birthday, Louis thinks to himself.
Harry got a promotion back then, and they went out on a fancy date to celebrate that night, wearing suits and ties and Louis was just so proud. In the beginning, he was only away for two weeks at a time at most and then stayed home for at least a month afterwards, then things slowly started shifting to the point where they are now; almost exactly the other way around.
Sometimes, in the nights where he feels the loneliest, he asks himself if he’d still be with Harry if it wasn’t for Tony and Gwen. Louis has never loved anyone like he loves Harry, he decided they were soulmates basically after their second date, when he and Harry still both went to university, two months before Louis dropped out to become a tattoo artist; he still remembers how furious his mum and how supportive Harry was. They got married after Harry received his law degree and became an associate at the law firm he still works at. Louis proposed when they went on vacation to Cornwall together, and it was perfect. Harry cried and said yes and then Louis cried as well, still shivering from being nervous for an entire week.
But right now, things are pretty hard. Louis can’t help but be angry at Harry when they’re talking on the phone, and Harry’s empty promises are making him even more angry, and then he gets upset because he doesn’t want to be angry anymore, and Harry doesn’t seem like he cares that much. Maybe Harry would be home more often if Louis wasn’t this upset with him.
Long distance relationships don’t always work, and it doesn’t matter that they own this beautiful home and that they have two perfect children; this is one.
And it’s Tony and Gwen holding them together, Louis is pretty sure. But he never allows himself to think about that for too long, because he loves Harry and the mere thought of losing him hurts too much.
December 18th
“Hi, Louis! It’s Anne, I haven’t heard from you guys in ages, how’s everything going? How are my grandchildren? Call me back when you can, okay? Love you.”
Louis listens to the voicemail in the car on his way back from work and immediately feels bad. He hasn’t called his mother-in-law in days, being too busy with buying Christmas presents and tinkering all sorts of stuff with Tony and Gwen and working and trying to not to drown in the chaos of his own house, so he calls her back now, “Anne, hi, it’s Louis. I’m sorry for not calling, we’ve had a stressful last week. You know how things get around Christmas”, Louis tells her as soon as he picks up.
“Don’t worry, darling. I’m happy to hear from you now, what are you up to?”
“I just got off work, I’m currently on my way to pick up Gwen from school and Tony from kindergarten, Belinda has her day off today. We’re gonna make some Christmas cookies, they have been bugging me about it the entire weekend”, Louis tells her over the hands-free system, asking himself if they have enough eggs at home or whether he should make a quick stop at the supermarket.
“That sounds lovely, Louis. I still can’t believe that Gwen’s already in school, she’s so grown up”
“I know”, Louis whines. “It’s horrible”
Anne laughs, and Louis makes a left, deciding to take the odds and not buy any eggs.
“Next thing you know she’ll start dating”, Anne tells him, smile apparent in her voice.
“Oh no, she can forget about dating. Harry and I are planning to put a stop to that until she’s, like, twenty,” Louis laughs, but still feels intimidated by the thought of Gwendolyn having her first boyfriend, or girlfriend for that matter.
“Speaking of Harry; how is my son? Is he home yet?” she asks and Louis has to swallow hard.
“Uhm, actually, no. He extended his trip and is currently in DC, I think they’re checking up on that deal they cut a few months ago.”
“Wait, he’s not even on his way home yet?” Anne sounds shocked, and maybe a tad mad.
“No, but it’s fine. The kids miss him a bit, but he started calling every night again.”
“Jesus, that boy. I don’t like how that sounds, are you sure it’s fine, that you are fine? I know being alone with two kids is hard, and I know that you miss him a lot.”
Louis sighs. Anne has known him for years now, of course she can tell when he’s upset, “I do, and it’s definitely not easy, I have to admit. But we’re getting through it, you know. Belinda is a big help, as always.”
“Do you know when he’s planning on being home again?”
When Louis keeps quiet, she tuts indignantly.
“Okay, tell you what. Harry hasn’t been home for way too long now, and it’s not okay of him to leave you alone with two small children. Not to mention that they need both their fathers, not just one. I know Harry’s my son, but if you need help with anything at all, give me a call, yeah? I’m happy to visit for a couple of days, and feel free to drop by on Friday if you want.”
“Thanks, Anne. I appreciate it, really. I’ll be spending Christmas with the little ones in Donny, I don’t know if Harry’s back by then, but I could pick Tony and Gwen up from school on Friday, spend the weekend with you and drive to Doncaster Sunday night, okay?”
“You don’t know if he’ll be home for Christmas? You’re not fighting, are you?”, Anne asks, her voice concerned, and Louis can picture her face perfectly. He wants to hide beneath his covers, but he can’t break down now, he’s going to reach the school in ten minutes.
So, he just sighs and tries to collect himself. “Not exactly. It’s just- We’re in a rough place right now. I’m home alone with Tony and Gwen for weeks, and I love them to death, you know that, and every day it’s the same. I’ll be on my way back as soon as I can, Louis, I promise. But it’s always an empty promise, you know? I’m mad at him, and I’m angry and upset because every single day he misses something cute Tony does or smart Gwen says, and I just want him to be there for it with me, but he never is. God, I just miss him so much ”, he tells her, gripping the steering wheel hard.
One thing Louis loves about Anne is that, even though Harry is her son and she’s very protective of him, she always listens to him when he needs to vent without taking offense on Harry’s behalf.
“I didn’t know that, Louis. I hope you’ll figure this out as soon as he’s home, okay? I’ll see you on Friday, then. I love you, and give Tony and Gwen a kiss from me.”
“I will, thanks Anne. Love you.”
December 19th
Louis is cleaning the divan bed and his equipment after he’s finished up one of his customers when his phone rings in his pocket.
It’s Belinda, which is weird. She never calls him when he’s at work and only texts, except for emergencies. Immediately, his thoughts are going a million miles per hour, picturing Tony on his way to the hospital, Gwen crying. It’s hell. This is the worst thing about having kids, you’re always so worried. He tries to stay calm, it’s probably nothing.
“Louis? I’m sorry for calling you at work, but Gwen’s school just called me, you need to pick her up” Belinda’s voice sounds alarmed as well, which doesn’t exactly help calming his nerves.
“Is everything alright? Is she hurt?” he asks, already packing up his bag and grabbing his coat.
“No. At least I don’t think so, they wouldn’t tell me. They just said to call you and to tell you to call them back and pick Gwen up.”
He’s already on his way out, it’s snowing outside, and he remembers he didn’t put his coat on when the wet snow hits his bare arms.
“I’m already on my way, okay? I’ll let you know as soon as I know more. Thanks for calling me, Belinda”, he tells her, focusing on breathing evenly. Harry. He needs to call Harry.
“So, here’s the thing, Styles”, he starts. Harry didn’t pick up, of course he didn’t, so Louis decides to just speak on the voicemail. He never calls Harry Styles anymore, as he changed his last name to Tomlinson after they got married.
When he called the principal and was told what happened, he didn’t know how to feel. Out of everything, he didn’t expect that.
“You’re gonna drop everything you’re doing right now, I don’t care how important it is, and get on the next plane and move your ass over here. I just got off the phone with Mr Atkinson, Gwen’s principal. He called me to inform me that our sweet little daughter just punched someone in the face on the playground. He wouldn’t want to tell me why over the phone, I’m on my way to the school right now to find that out.
“I need you here, Harry”, he swallows. “I can’t keep on parenting alone. Like, how am I supposed to figure out what to do when my daughter gets into a physical fight on my own? I’m sick of missing you and fighting over the phone and being angry with you. I need you home, okay? Please come home,” he hangs up, focusing on the street in front of him. He’s already speeding, but this is an emergency, thank you very much.
“Papa!” Gwendolyn cries out as soon as she spots Louis walking down the hallway.
She then gets up from where she was sitting, running towards him and hugging his legs as hard as she can. Louis picks her up, his heart is beating incredibly fast.
“What happened, baby? Are you hurt?” He knows he should be angry with her for hitting someone, but he was just so worried.
Gwen’s face is red and puffy from crying, her eyes still shiny. “I’m so sorry, Papa. I’m sorry” She starts crying, her entire little body shaking. “We’re gonna talk about it when we’re home, okay?”
She nods slowly. “The boy was mean. He said that you’re not my real papa and that you and daddy are going to hell, and that I’m coming with you”, Gwen’s voice is still shaking, and she sobs between words, but Louis thinks he’s getting it just fine.
And he’s fuming. “Here’s what we are going to do, princess. I’m going to have a nice little talk with your principal, and after that we’re going home, okay? I’ll make you hot chocolate and we can eat the cookies we made yesterday, you want to do that?”
Gwen just nods. “Good. Now, sit down and wait for me, I’ll make it quick, yeah?”
Louis has only been to Mr Atkinson’s office once before. It was last spring when Harry and him took Gwendolyn there for registration.
“Hello, Mr Tomlinson. I’m sorry to call you in like this, but we felt like this is a matter you should attend personally, and not just your nanny”, he’s greeted room by a large man he recognizes as Mr Atkinson as soon as he enters the room. Besides the principal, there’s a woman and a middle-aged couple, holding hands like their lives depended on it. The woman Louis identifies as Gwendolyn’s teacher, Ms Baker, so the couple must be the parents of the boy.
“I came as fast as I could, sorry if you had to wait”, Louis answers, suddenly feeling insecure as he sits down on a chair next to the other parents. He desperately wishes for Harry to be here.
“That’s fine. Have you talked to your daughter yet?”, the principal asks him.
“A bit, but she was crying. I’m not sure if I understood her correctly”, he answers, straightening his shoulders.
“To our understanding, this is was happened”, Ms Baker says, turning to Louis. “Gwendolyn and Michael, a boy from third grade, got into an argument on the playground during recess. We talked about families in class before that, and Gwendolyn told the other children that she doesn’t have a mother but two fathers. According to Gwendolyn, Michael started insulting her after that, saying some homophobic slurs I do not want to repeat, until she lashed out at him.”
“Our Mikey would never do that!”, the woman that must be his mother says.
“We recommend that you, as the parents, sit your children down and talk to them about what happened. Michael will be put in detention for the rest of the week, and Gwendolyn will be suspended until Friday. Mr and Mrs Pearce, do you want to press charges?”, Mr Atkinson tells him and the other parents.
Louis blood starts boiling at that. “Excuse me, Sir. But my daughter will not be suspended from school for defending herself”
“Mr Tomlinson, I’m sorry, but those are the rules. We have a zero-tolerance policy, and even if your daughter is only six years old, she needs to understand that violence isn’t an answer.”
“You can be completely confident that my husband and I will be talking to her about that with her, but she’ll not be suspended from school. Gwendolyn hit a boy who told her to go to hell, and that my husband and I are not her real parents. Where is your zero-tolerance policy about homophobia and discrimination? A playground should be a safe place for children, not a place where they are attacked for not being raised the "traditional" way.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt you, but isn’t Gwendolyn adopted?”, Mr Atkinson asks, which just makes Louis angrier.
The thing his, he almost never thinks about how they adopted Gwen when she was nine months old, or how Tony is technically Harry’s son because they used his sperm when hiring a surrogate. They are his kids. He raised them, no matter if they carried his genes or not, and he loves them as much as anyone else loves their children, maybe even more.
“Excuse me? I am not going to sit here and listen to you discriminate me and my family, while my daughter is sitting outside bawling her eyes out, because you’re not doing your job in raising tolerant and loving children right. Gwendolyn shouldn’t have hit Michael; I agree with that a hundred percent. But I’m not sure you understand that that isn’t the problem here. Gwendolyn doesn’t have anger issues, she was confronted with an intimidating and three years older boy, who insulted her and her fathers. The problem is this school accepting discrimination, bullying and homophobia being declared on its own ground, and there is no way I am going to accept Gwendolyn being blamed for that.
“If you want to press charges, do whatever floats your boat. As soon as my husband is back in town, you can meet with him and talk about it, he’s a lawyer anyway. And when all of us are in the same room anyway, we are going to talk about taking legal action against this school for discriminating against LGBTQ+ families. We are also going to discuss taking our son Anthony off the waiting list and transferring Gwendolyn to another school.
“I demand an apology. From Michael for being homophobic, and from this school for not having the backs of their students. If you had wanted to put Gwendolyn in detention too, I wouldn’t have said it a single word, because what she did was not okay, but suspension? I’m sorry. Have a good day.”
With that, Louis leaves the headmaster’s office, legs shaking. “C’mon Gwenny, we’re going home”
“Am I in trouble?”, she asks, her voice still sounds tiny. Louis takes her hand and smiles down at his daughter. He loves her so much. “Only a little”
On their way home, Louis had told her why it isn’t okay to hit others, no matter how upset you are. Louis had also told her that he was proud of her for standing up to her bully and for being brave enough to defend herself afterward in front of her teachers. The rest he would talk about her with Harry as soon as he was back home.
“Daddy!” Gwendolyn shouts as soon Louis pulls into the driveway. It’s still foggy outside, but it stopped snowing while Louis was at Gwen’s school.
“I know you miss him, but Daddy’s still on his business trip," Louis sighs. He never gets a minute of peace, does he.
“No, Daddy’s here!”, she shouts again, now trying to unfasten her seatbelt.
“Gwen, stop doing that! You could get hurt, I’m still—” But then he looks out of the window to his left, and he spots him.
Harry, sitting on the steps leading up to their front door. He hasn’t noticed them yet, talking on the phone to someone. Louis heart winces. He’s right there, and Louis misses him so much.
“Let’s get you out of you seat so you can say hi to Daddy, okay?”, Louis says, watching Gwendolyn in the rearview mirror. She nods heavily, so Louis gets out of the car.
He watches as Gwen runs down the pebbled path that connects the carport to their front door, screaming and yelling. Harry puts his phone away, and Louis can see his smile lighting up from where he’s standing, and he hears how he asks “How’s my favorite girl?” as he twirls her through the air.
He gets Gwen’s school stuff out of the trunk and then follows her slowly, trying not to fall on the icy pebbles.
“You’re home”, Louis whispers when he’s standing in front of Harry. His skin looks tired and pale, he hasn’t shaved yet and there are definitely shadows underneath his eyes, but Harry’s eyes themselves are bright and glistening with happiness.
Harry doesn’t answer, instead, he pulls him into a tight hug and Louis finally feels whole again. Harry smells like airplane and strange hotel room-refreshing spray, but Louis still feels like coming home after a long day.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry," Harry whispers into his ear, and Louis is pretty sure he can feel a tear running down his neck, but he doesn’t mention it.
“You’re finally here”, Louis sighs, pulling back. Only far enough to look at his husband once again, before he finally leans in and kisses him.
It’s only a small peck on the lips, they’re still being watched by their daughter after all, but it’s enough for now.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”, Louis asks him, smiling brightly, as they’re walking into the house.
“Because I didn’t know I was”, Harry shrugs and picks up Gwen, who immediately snuggles against his chest. “I was on my way to the airport, Harris wanted me to go to Barcelona until Thursday and I was looking for my passport in my bag, and then I found this,” Harry pulls a picture out of his back pocket with his free hand to show it to Louis.
It’s a picture of them. It must have been taken ages ago, Louis didn’t even know it existed. In the picture, Louis and Harry are wearing Christmas sweaters and are each holding a tiny baby in their arms, Ernest and Doris. Harry’s hair was still long then, curling around his face.
Suddenly, Louis remembers everything. Harry had insisted on buying the ugly sweaters, and Louis only wore it because it made Harry smile his dimpley-smile. Louis’ favorite smile.It was the first Christmas they ever spent together in Doncaster. Jay was still angry with Louis then for dropping out of college, but she loved Harry from the minute he first walked into her house.
"I just couldn’t get onto another flight that wasn’t going to bring me any closer to you. I called Harris and told him, and he miraculously understood. Next thing I know, I’m on a plane to London. I’m sorry I didn’t call or anything.”
Louis just smiles, still looking at the picture. “It’s okay. We can talk about it later”
“Are we mad at Gwen?”, Harry then whispers under his breath, setting her down again. Louis just shakes his head.
“Not really. We might have to send her to a different school, though. I might have threatened the headmaster to sue the school”, Louis tells him, and Harry raises his eyebrows.
“You did what?”
December 20th
It’s one in the morning, and Harry is crawling back into bed with two mugs of hot chocolate in his hands, wearing only boxer briefs and a untied bathrobe.
“Thanks, babe” Louis kisses his cheek before he takes a sip of his drink. “Jesus, Harry, how much peppermint schnapps did you put in there?”
“Too much?”
“Just enough”, Louis says, smiling. Then he gets serious again. “You know we need to talk, right?”
Harry sighs. “I know. I’m sorry”
“I know you are. I’m sorry, too” Louis says, taking his hand. The anchor and the rope line up perfectly.
“For what?”
“For treating you the way I did. I know that it’s not exactly your fault that you’re on business trips a lot, but you’ve been away way too long. I just missed you, you know. And I was frustrated and lonely and overwhelmed. Work and the kids and taking care of the house, it’s a lot”
“Please don’t be sorry for that, Lou. I messed up when I didn’t come home from Chicago straight away, I shouldn’t even have left for Chicago in the first place.I should have stayed home, taken Gwen to her ballet classes and shown Tony how to wrap presents, I should have stayed with you. You don’t deserve to be treated like this, Louis, and I’m really, really sorry. I know I let you down, and I know I let the kids down. What you said on the phone, about empty promises and about me being the fun uncle? You were right, and I hate myself because it took me so long.” Harry is rubbing his eyes, and then he looks at Louis again.
“I’ve been thinking about it the entire flight, Louis. You deserve better, the kids deserve better. You deserve what I promised you when we got married, and I’m sorry I broke that promise”
A cold, ugly feeling settles in Louis’ stomach, and not even a banister of hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps could ever ease that feeling.
“Are you trying to tell me you want a divorce?”, Louis asks quietly, staring into his mug.
Harry jolts up, spilling chocolate milk everywhere, the white sheets quickly absorbing the fluids.
“God, no,” Louis looks up again, and Harry’s eyes are piercing him. “I’m trying to tell you that I’m changing positions. I got your message about Gwen on my way from the airport home, and I immediately called Harris, told him that I’d either take a step back or quit my job. I made that decision before I heard what happened, but it just proved my point, I need to be home”
Louis just blinks at him, trying to understand what he just heard.
“There isn’t a contract yet, or anything. But I’ll probably start training associates and take on cases around here. No more business trips out of Great Britain, and only once every two months, that’s my limit. I might also be able to work from home on Fridays and on the weekends, so I don’t need to go into office. The kids are growing up way too fast, and I’ve missed too much already.”
“Wait, are you serious?”
“Yes, Lou. Completely. I’m sick of being away from you. I missed you too, you know. Every single night. And day”
“And Harris is letting you do that?”
“He said so. It’s basically a done deal”
Louis puts away his mug, and then rolls himself on top of Harry.
“I love you”, he whispers, before he finally kisses him.
December 27th
They didn’t drive all the way to Doncaster to celebrate his birthday and Christmas this year like Louis had planned.
Instead, Anne visited them from the 22nd to the 24th. She watched Gwen and Tony on Louis birthday, when Harry took him out for a date. For the entire day, mind. They went for breakfast at Louis’s favorite café, walked around London, then had fish and chips for lunch on some kind of ferry that only drove up and down the Thames, causing them to almost freeze to death.
After that, they went to the only open museum they can find to warm up and talk shit about every single painting in there, Louis thinks his abs are still sore from laughing too hard. For dinner, Harry had reserved a table at a fancy restaurant in order to “wine and dine Louis properly” and then surprised him with tickets for The Cursed Child, which almost made Louis squeal out loud, but there’s no way he’s ever going tell that to anyone.
It might have been Louis’ favorite birthday yet.
On the 25th, Gwen and Tony crawled into their bed at 5am, which means they only got four hours of sleep each, but Gwen’s blonde curls were still tangled and her body was still warm from her own bed and Tony cuddled up right in between them, and Louis forgot all about being tired and exhausted again. It took a minute to get Harry and Louis out of bed, but then they lit a fire in the chimney in the living room and Harry made tea and hot chocolate, and they ate cookies for breakfast while unpacking gifts.
“Our kids are way too spoiled”, Harry had said to him as they were cleaning up the mess made out of wrapping paper and glittery bows.
“But are they really?”, Louis asked, watching Tony play with something he just unwrapped.
“Nah, they’re good”, Harry laughed, giving Louis a kiss on the cheek.
Around noon, they had unpacked everything and then called Louis’ family over FaceTime and talked for the better part of an hour, which mostly consisted of Gwen showing off all her presents and Tony trying to hide in Harry’s sweatshirt.
Now, Harry and Louis are standing in the middle of the dairy isle, arguing about whether they should buy full or half fat milk. They’re interrupted by a piercing scream, followed by loud crying. Louis turns around to see what’s happening, and spots a young woman carrying a crying toddler at the other end of the isle.
Thank God Tony is out of that phase where he cried all the time , Louis thinks to himself. At the same time, Harry says “Sometimes I wish we had another one, you know. Look Louis, how tiny he is.”
December 30th
Louis doesn’t think much of that moment until Harry brings it up a few days later when they’re in bed.
“I really want another one”, Harry says into the dark, startling Louis who was on the verge of falling asleep.
“Another what?”, he asks, knowing exactly what Harry was talking about.
“Another baby, Louis.”
Louis sighs and the sheet rustle as he sits up and turns the light on again.
“You’re really serious about this, huh?”, he asks, looking at Harry.
They always wanted a big family, because, well, Louis grew up in one and wanted his children to have the same wonderful childhood and Harry just always loved babies and probably will always do. Adopting Gwen was a dream come true. It took ages for them to even be allowed to adopt, and after that they spent a lot of time thinking about how they wanted to do it, until they met Gwen. She was around eight or nine months old when they finally took her home, and her hair was so light that it was almost invisible, and she had the prettiest big blue eyes anyone had ever seen.
Tony is Harry’s biological child, they hired a surrogate to have him, and Louis still is sometimes taken aback how much he looks like a tiny version of Harry, all green eyes and dimples. But Tony was a complicated baby, which only made it harder for Harry and Louis, as they never had to deal with a newborn. Tony had to be fed every three hours, and even after that he didn’t sleep much, suffering acid reflux and a bunch of other intestinal problems. He also didn’t like sitting in a pram or a highchair, he always needed to be held.
After Tony, they only talked about having more children occasionally. It wasn’t like Louis didn’t want to have more, he just didn’t feel capable of taking care of another baby with Tony just out of that age.
“Don’t you want to have another one? Tony is so big already,” Harry pouts and Louis laughs.
“Haz, babe, we can’t have a baby every time they turn into toddlers.”
“I know, you stupid git. But I’d love to have three kids, you know that. And Tony desperately wants to become a big brother.”
Both of those things are true. Harry always wanted to have at least a family of five, and Tony asked for a little sister from Santa that year, so that’s that.
“We have the money and the space, Louis. I won’t be away anymore, I could even go on parental leave for a bit. The timing’s perfect right now.”
“What would you wanna name him?” Louis asks, smiling.
Harry’s face lights up, knowing he broke Louis. Not that he needed much convincing, but still.
“We’re having a boy, then?”
“Maybe.”
“William for a boy. And for a girl—”
Harry doesn’t get to tell Louis what name he would choose if they had a girl, because Louis shuts him up with a deep kiss that has him weak in his knees.
October 17th
“I came as soon as I got your message. What’s happening in there?”
Louis is out of breath when he finally finds Harry sitting in the waiting room of the delivery ward.
“I’m not sure, she was already in there when I got here, and on the phone—” Harrys interrupts himself, trying to smother the laugh that’s bound to escape his mouth. “Babe . You’re still wearing your gloves”
Louis looks down at his hands, and Harry’s right. He’s still got his black nitrile gloves on, he uses them when he’s tattooing, and given the fact that their surrogate went into labor very unexpected, he had just rushed off, not thinking about anything else.
“Right”, he laughs nervously as he peels them off.
“
C’mere, you’re all fidget-y”, Harry pulls him down onto the seat next to him, wrapping his arm around his waist.
“Remember when we finally went to take Gwen home?”
“Yeah”, Harry smiles fondly. “You almost threw up on the way”
“I did not”, Louis says in mock offense. “Okay, it was a close call, I gotta admit”
Harry grips his hand, squeezing it. “I’m really excited”
"I’m literally scared shitless”, Louis tells him.
“It’s going to be fine.”
“She’s six weeks early, Harry. What if there are more complications? What if- What’s it called, IRDS? Infant Respiratory something Syndrome, she could have that”
“Louis. You need to stop worrying, baby. The doctors are in there, and they’re doing their best” Harry kisses his temple, and Louis tries to calm down.
“Mr Tomlinson? I’m sorry to wake you, but I think there’s someone you’d like to me” A gentle hand on his shoulder wakes him, and he opens his eyes slowly. He’s still in the waitig room of the hospital where he found Harry hours ago. Harry next to him is still somewhat asleep, eyes closed, mouth relaxed. Louis smiles at him, admiring him for a second.
Jesus, his back hurts. And his neck is stiff, and his shoulders crack when Louis stretches and sits up straight. Then he remembers that someone woke him up, and when he looks up he meets the eyes of a young nurse.
“If you and your husband are ready, you can go in and see your daughter now”
Louis jolts up, waking up Harry in the process. “Is she okay?”
“Perfectly okay, Sir. The doctors will explain the details to you in a few minutes, alright? But now you should really go and say hello to your daughter”
"Harry, look at her. She’s perfect”, Louis whispers, staring at the tiny baby in his arms. He’s holding her and Harry is standing behind him, pressed against his back, looking over his shoulder.
She doesn’t have eyebrows or hair yet, because she’s a preemie. Louis’s heart already feels like it’s exploding from all the love he’s feeling for her. It’s hard to explain.
“I know”, Harry answers. His voice sounds broken, and when Louis turns around to look at him, there are tears running down his cheeks. “She’s got your nose”
Gently touching their daughter’s face, Harry whispers “You look just like your papa, Allison.”
“Ally”, Louis says to him quietly, eyes filling with tears.