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Magnus was worried about Alec. He hadn't seen his best friend outside of class in nearly a week. To anyone else this wouldn't seem abnormal at all. Magnus had play rehearsal, Alec had football practice. To anyone else the absence in each other's life would be easily explained.
But this was Magnus and Alec. They always seemed to orbit each other, even on their busiest days. And so, Magnus was worried.
It was Saturday night, and Magnus hadn't heard anything from Alec all day. They would usually send silly snapchats or texts even if they didn't have plans to hang out, but Magnus had been in radio silence all day and didn't know why.
This worry only grew once Jace came over to hang out with Clary. He'd started immediately talking in the way that only Jace did, barrelling past any form of greetings. "Have you heard from Magnus today?"
"No," Magnus spoke, trying and failing to go unnoticed by the two on his way to the kitchen. "Why?"
"He's been in his room all day," Jace shrugs, "I don't think he even went to football practice."
"Why?" Magnus asked, voice worried now.
"Dunno," Jace replied, "He hasn't talked to anyone. He's in like a total isolation zone or something. Figured if he talked to anyone it would be you."
Magnus doesn't reply, simply watching the two go back to their conversation from earlier. He checks his phone again, and seeing that he still had no notifications from Alec he made his decision. Slipping on hos shoes he left the house, and started walking across the street to Alec's.
He'd never been happier to live in such a nice neighborhood. When he first came to live with the Fairchilds, he was cautious. Growing up in the system he hadn't ever seen a house with a balcony, or white picket fences. He hadn't wanted to get comfortable, he moved a lot in the system, people generally didn't want foster kids forever. Sometimes Magnus still had to remind himself that he'd been adopted, and it had been nearly 10 years.
Once he got to Alec's house, he immediately headed into the backyard. Alec had the most stereotypical backyard ever, with a white treles that led up to a small balcony that Alec never kept locked. Magnus laughed at him when he first saw it, they had been freshman's, reading Romeo and Juliet in English class. Magnus remembers doubling over in laughter, and looking up at Alec and saying "You're a real life Juliet."
Alec had laughed along with him. He remembers this vividly while climbing up the treles. It was stereotypical, but damn convenient.
He got to the balcony and knocked on the window door, hoping Alec would open it. His hopes were answered when the door slowly opened. Alec looked awful, Magnus observed, he was in his tattered pjs, his hair was a mess, and he had bags around his eyes. He looked sick, and Magnus felt his worry increase. "Magnus?" Alec asked, voice scratchy, "What are you doing here?"
"Well someone," Magnus replies, moving around Alec and into his room, which had all his lights turned off, "Hasn't talked to his best friend all day. And Jace told me you didn't go to practice today. I was worried." He says the last part sincerely, looking right into Alec's tired eyes.
"I'm fine," Alec says, dodging Magnus' eyes, "I was just tired."
"I've seen you pull an all nighter for a history test and still go to football practice dead on your feet." Magnus points out, "What's really going on? Come on Alec you can tell me."
Alec pulls at the sleeves of his shirt, and walks towards his bed and sits unceremoniously on the edge. "I'm fine Magnus, seriously. Nothing's going on, you can go back home."
Magnus sat in the desk chair across from Alec, and fixed him with an unapproving look. "Alec," his voice lower and softer, "We've been best friends most of our lives. You've seen me at my best and worst. You can't lie to me and just tell me that you are okay when I can clearly tell that-"
"I'm gay." Alec blurts suddenly, stopping Magnus cold in his rant.
Oh.
That explains the recent standoffish behavior, he supposes. But he still doesn't understand why Alec would close himself off, not to Magnus, not about this. "Oh," Magnus replies, breath knocked out of him at the admission. "Well, that's okay."
Alec looks up at Magnus, and his eyes are full of something Magnus can't name. "Alec, I'm glad you figured that out about yourself. It's nerve wrenching I get it, but if anyone was going to understand it'd be me."
"I didn't just figure it out," Alec says quietly. "I've known for years now."
Magnus is once again taken aback. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks, the two told each other everything. Magnus had come out to Alec first, when they were 12 years old. They had always been each others confidantes.
Alec looks at Magnus again, and his eyes look far away. "I couldn't tell you."
"Why?" Magnus asked again, "I mean I get it from a whole captain of the football team, Lightwood eldest child, cheerleaders drool over you perspective. But between us? We don't have any secrets. If you've known this long, is there a reason you couldn't tell me? Did I ever do anything that made you uncomfortable to talk about that stuff with."
Alec shakes his head then,"You're so honest," he starts, "You have always been honest. About what you want, what interests you. You've never let any of the assholes at our school change that, change you." Alec looked at his hands in his lap, fists clenched against his knees. "And I never told you because- because," Alec makes sudden eye contact with Magnus, fixing him with a look of determination. "I never told you because if you are so honest about what you want, and you've never wanted me, then me telling you that I'm in love with you would be a pointless set up to get my heart broken."
Magnus had been surprised a couple times in the midst of their conversation, but this truly felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. He's sure his eyes were wide as dinner plates at Alec's words.
"I wanted to tell you the other day," Alec starts talking in the way he does when he's nervous, filling in the empty air with hurried words. "When I came over after you got hit at lunch. When you asked why I was so mad, why I would stand up for you like that. I almost told you then, but I couldn't. And it's been bugging me ever since because if you get bullied like that for just being you, and I get a pass just because I'm a jock or because I'm a Lightwood or because people think that I'm straight. It's not fair, and I knew, I knew that I had to tell you soon. Or it would eat me alive. And you don't have to say anything, I already know you don't feel the same it's okay. I didn't want to risk our friendship. I couldn't."
"You're right," Magnus tells him, and feels a stab of guilt when Alec's already sad face becomes more sad. "You're right because I don't have to say anything."
And in that moment, Magnus places his hands on Alec's jaw, pulling his face to his. Alec looks panicked for the fraction of a second that Magnus can still see his face. Magnus closes his eyes and like all his dreams have come true, kisses Alec softly.
It's better than in his dreams. He had always dreamed this rougher, unsure as to why. But it was soft, and Alec was warm where he held his face. Magnus felt the moment Alec relaxed into it, lifting his hands to the back of Magnus' head. He weaves his fingers through the longer pieces of hair, and Magnus hums contentedly at the slight tug of it. It's chaste in some ways, Magnus muses, not the heady makeout session of two teenagers, of his own dreams, but something calm, and sure. When Magnus pulls back from it, leaving his eyes closed a second longer than need be, just to really capture the feeling of it, he smiles. "I've sort of been in love with you for years," he breathes the words, still close to Alec's face, "In case you couldn't tell."
"Now whose been keeping secrets," Alec laughs breathily. "Why didn't you say anything?"
Magnus pulls back further to look in Alec's eyes, "Same reason you never did, I guess."
"We're idiots," Alec says with a smile.
"That's very true," Magnus agrees, leaning in and kissing Alec gently again, just because he could, just because he wanted to. "Would you be an idiot who is also my boyfriend?"
Alec makes a fake noise like he is seriously considering his options. "Hmm, I think I could be convinced."
Magnus rolls his eyes, before kissing Alec again. "Okay I'm convinced."
"Well can I convince you to come out of hiding and come watch a movie with me?"
Alec takes his hand, "Definitely."