Chapter Text
Lance fidgeted with the cords on his hoodie, twisting the dark blue fabric around his index finger incessantly. His knee was bouncing up and down, out of his control. The receptionist looked over and offered a sympathetic smile.
“Don’t worry. He’ll be with you soon.”
It took Lance a few seconds to register that she was in fact talking to him, even though he was the only one in the small waiting room. His knee calmed to a stop as he bent forwards, leaning his forearms on his thighs.
“Sorry. Thanks.” He mumbled. The receptionist smiled again before returning to her laptop. The movement of her head caused her golden hoop earrings to glint under the warm lighting of the room.
Lance inwardly cursed himself for deciding to see the university counsellor so last minute. He glanced up to the large grandfather clock as it stood tall and imposing against the far wall.
Almost half 6. Huh. A Grandfather clock, Lance pondered in his head. Haven’t seen many of those around. I wonder how easy it is to get one.
He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone. He intended to pass the time scouring the internet for a variety of antiquities, but stopped as he saw he missed notifications from earlier.
2 new messages. His thumb scrolled and tapped on the screen, opening up the messages.
[5:42] Space Dad: Hey Lance. I know you’re freaking out about the whole therapy thing t his evening . Just know that Curtis and I are right behind you. Call either of us if you need anything. S x
[5:43] Curtisaur: Just wanted to say we love you and we wish you all the luck in the world! You may not think this is a big thing but it’s a huge step forward and we’re so proud of you! Call us or text us if anything, you know the drill. Xox
Lance could almost hear them speaking those very words and just the thought put his mind at ease. He couldn’t help the fond smile that made its way across his face.
“You see something funny?”
The sudden voice made him jolt slightly. Looking up, he realised the receptionist had spoken to him again. Her voice was teetering on the edge of playful banter but Lance also sensed softness in her tone. He shook his head.
“Just a couple of nice texts. Making sure I’m alright here.”
“Oh, that’s really lovely. It’s great to have a support system who will do that for you. They must really love you, huh?” She said, shutting the lid of her laptop down. The intercom on her phone buzzed. She reached for it, tucking her short, fluffy hair behind her ears. “Yes? ...Yeah, one second.” She pressed the phone to her chest.
“Sorry, I’ll just be a moment.” She said, speaking in a hushed voice. She spun around on her chair, her back facing Lance before continuing her call.
Lance nodded, lowered his gaze, smiling to himself. He really did feel lucky sometimes. Shiro and Curtis were regarded very highly in the University of Altea, with Shiro being a mentor to large groups of first year students and Curtis advising and teaching both first and second years about LGBTQ+ history and queer culture in the University’s new inclusivity programme.
Lance often wonders how he is able to gain even a little bit of their time and friendship. Shiro and Lance have been friends for a long time; Curtis becoming a fast friend too, after he and Shiro started dating. Lance went to one of their seminars which is where he met Pidge and Hunk. Pidge introduced themselves as non-binary and Hunk explained that he wanted to support Pidge while educating himself more as he has two mothers. Lance has been friends with that group for years ever since.
And yet, though he feels blessed to have friends who care about him, he still has a creeping shadow always looming over him, telling him that he’s not actually happy. That he’s not good enough. Not needed. The first year or so after becoming friends with Pidge and Hunk went really well. Lance finally felt as though he found people he could relate to. After a while though, he noticed that he was drifting further and further away.
On more than one occasion, he saw that he wasn’t invited to hang out with them after seeing photos on social media of them at the park, at each other’s dorms, in museums. Anytime Lance questioned them about it, they shrugged it off, not thinking it was a big deal.
Even talking with the three of them, he felt excluded. It always started out okay, but eventually Pidge and Hunk always deterred the conversation about the next season of a show Lance didn't watch, or some technical science thing Lance could never understand. He felt too much like the third wheel on more than one occasion, so he usually opted to zone out with his own thoughts as company or just scroll through his phone.
It didn’t bother him too much in the beginning until it started happening more and more frequently. Shiro had noticed something was wrong with Lance as of late, but he had trouble getting him to open up.
He caught him on his way to a class one day the week before and jogged over, calling out his name. Lance looked up, surprised.
“Oh, hey. Been a while,” Lance smiled making Shiro smile back, sadly.
“It has. It really has, and I’m sorry.” He glanced behind him to the main hall where the seminar he was meant to be presenting was about to take place.
Lance noticed his hesitation and put a hand up, starting to retreat. “Look, I can tell you’re busy. It’s fine, I’m on my way to class anyway. We can talk later--”
“No, wait,” Shiro held on to his arm, stopping him. “It’s not fine.” Shiro pushed a hand through his salt and pepper locks and sighed deeply.
“I don’t know if anyone’s told you this, Lance, but you haven’t been yourself lately, man. I would’ve said sooner but... things have been kind of hectic.” He said as he gestured back to the hall. “But, as your friend, the blame is on me for not checking up on you and for that, I’m sorry. If Curtis were with me, he’d say the same thing. He’s probably making excuses right now about why I’m not there yet,” Shiro breathed a laugh.
Lance just stood there, shuffling slightly on his feet. “It’s fine, Shiro, really. I’m fine. You guys have been super busy. So have I. We’ll just have to organise something another time.”
“No time like the present, right?” Shiro asked. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small lilac card, handing it to Lance. He turned it around between his fingers and looked up at Shiro.
“What is this?” He asked, slightly amused.
“Read it.” Shiro said.
Lance turned it over, his eyes skimming over the text printed in the middle of the card.
ALTEA COUNSELLING & PSYCHOTHERAPY
“You’ve got to be joking.” Lance deadpanned.
“Before you jump to conclusions, just know it’s not something you have to do...” Shiro started, his hands raised in defence.
“Good. Because I’m not.”
“... but... it’s something to at least consider?”
Lance looked away, his face heating up from frustration. “I don’t need this. I’d only go to this if there was something wrong with me. Nothing is wrong with me.”
Shiro just looked at him, a small smile on his face. “No, of course not, buddy. It was just an idea. But...” He held onto Lance’s shoulder, grounding him. “Don’t feel guilty if you do choose to go, okay? I just want you to be happy. And... I feel like he could make you happy.” Shiro said tapping the card that was still in Lance’s grip.
“Shiro!” A voice called loudly, making not only Shiro and Lance turn, but a few students who were passing by also jolted at the sudden sound. Curtis had his head poking out of the large double doors of the main building. “I’ve been looking for you! Seminar’s starting in a few, okay? Hey, Lance!” He waved cheerily before retreating back inside.
“Guess I’m not as late as I thought,” Shiro chuckled. “Makes this little conversation all the more worth it.” He squeezed Lance’s shoulder before letting go, making his way inside.
Lance stood there, frozen, the late autumn wind blowing loose golden leaves around him. He stared at the card he was given as Shiro’s words kept repeating in his head.
And I feel like he could make you happy.
Who’s he?
Whoever it was, Lance was about to meet him.
It took the shuffling sound of the receptionist slipping her laptop inside its case to bring Lance back. She was off the phone, gathering her bags and jacket.
“I’m so sorry for the wait, Lance. I just got a call from him, he’s ready to see you now. Luckily, you’re the last client of the evening. I was told to assure you that you can spend as much time with him as you’d like.”
Lance immediately shook his head. “No, no. I don’t want to take up too much of his time. Besides, it’s my fault for coming in so late, right? I don’t want to be a bother, I’ll just come back tomorrow or something.”
“No need.”
A voice appeared to Lance’s right. He turned his head and saw him standing in the doorway to the office.
“Hey.” He smiled, endearingly. “I’m Keith.”
Lance blinked. He was sure he heard someone speaking to him, but right now, all he could focus on were those eyes. Those soft, deep purple eyes encased with long, dark lashes, blinking right back at him. His brows were furrowed slightly, possibly from concern at the other boy not responding. Lance mentally shook himself from his gaze before they potentially called a medic.
“Uh.” Lance said, intelligently.
Keith just huffed a laugh. “Sorry for the wait. I’ve been swamped with paperwork.”
Lance just about managed to get his words out. “N-no! You don’t have to apologise, really. I didn’t mind waiting.”
“He was great company.” The receptionist grinned, looking between the two of them. Her smile faltered slightly when Keith glared at her. “ Oh... uh, I’ll just be heading off now! See you, Keith! And you, Lance.” She quickly got up and headed out the door. As soon as she left, a muffled yelp came from outside and then a just as muffled voice returned, “Oh God, I’m sorry, sweetheart!”
The door swung open, its poor hinges squeaking from the sheer force. A tall lady dressed head to toe in a smart purple suit rushed in, her eyes sparkling. “I almost killed Shay out there! I had to rush back, I left my purse on the desk earlier and--” Her eyes trailed towards Lance and then went back to Keith. “Oh. I’m sorry, am I interrupting?”
“A little.” Keith said.
“No, not at all,” Lance said, at the same time.
The lady looked between the two boys again. “Keith, I thought you finished ages ago. You shouldn’t be accepting clients this late, no?”
Lance started to get up. “I thought the same thing. I really don’t want to be a bother. I--”
“I want you here, Lance,” Keith said, looking over to him. “You aren’t bothering me.”
Lance’s face heated.
The lady had a slight grin on her face and her eyes lit up with amusement. “Well, then! I can’t let you close up by yourself!” She shrugged off her long jacket and hooked it on the coat stand. The sound of her heels were absorbed by the carpet flooring but the noise was still very present as she walked over to the reception chair. She sat down elegantly and in the same movement swung her bag onto the table, taking out her laptop. “I’ll just be out here if you need me. Better get some work done while I have the chance!”
Keith rolled his eyes.
“Excuse me for a moment,” He said to Lance, before stalking towards the lady. Lance would be lying if he said he didn’t study every movement Keith made, from pushing his hair back from exasperation, to the way his hip pushed out slightly as he leant on the desk. They spoke amongst themselves, their voices hushed. Upon closer inspection, Lance could swear the two of them looked related.
Keith turned to Lance, as if he could feel his gaze. “I’m really sorry about her.”
Lance glanced at the grinning receptionist before settling back to Keith. He noticed he had a slight flush to his face. “No need. I like her.”
Krolia sat up suddenly with a big smile on her face, but Keith put his hand up, stopping her before she could speak.
“Please don’t encourage her. Okay, come on,” He stood up straight and snapped her laptop lid shut. “Off you go. You have your purse.”
The lady stood up and spoke in between giggles as she slipped her laptop back in her bag. “You sure you want me to go? I could stay and make sure everything’s alright and--”
“Leave. Now.” Keith grabbed her jacket, draping it around her shoulders and thrust her bag at her, shoving her out the door.
“Careful! My laptop’s in there!” She said, her voice still light with amusement.
“You can check on it at home.” Keith said through gritted teeth.
“See you, Lance!” She managed to say before Keith shut the door on her. He heaved a sigh, closing his eyes momentarily.
Lance watched on; his interest piqued but also laced with confusion. He cleared his throat, indicating to the fact he was still sitting in the waiting room. Keith’s eyes fluttered open and drew back to Lance’s, widening in realisation. He smoothed his neatly tucked in shirt, and gestured to his office.
“So sorry about that. Please, come in.”
Lance walked through the doorway, keeping his eyes downcast lest he explode into a fit of nerves upon looking at Keith again. Keith followed after him and turned to close the door behind them. Lance went to sit down on the plush navy couch in front of his desk.
"Who was that?” Lance asked. “She was really...” He waved his hands around as if trying to find the right words.
“Grating? Insufferable? Annoying? Am I close?” Keith said, affection laced in his tone. He smiled at Lance’s chuckle. “No, I’m kidding. Underneath all of... well, that, I love her.”
“Friend of yours? Work colleague?” Lance asked, getting comfortable, taking the fluffy pillow he was sitting on and resting it on his lap. There was something about Keith’s energy that made Lance want to open himself up to him, let his guard down.
“Mm. Close. That was my mother. She works in the university.”
Lance leaned forward so suddenly with the most incredulous look on his face, making Keith laugh. “I knew you guys were related! She looks like she could be your sister!”
“God, if you told her that, she’d never want to let you go.” Keith tucked his hair behind his ear. Lance wondered why a young guy like Keith had a mullet in this day and age. Lance also wondered why he was very attracted to it.
“I’ll pin that for next time.” Lance said.
Keith couldn’t help but chuckle and Lance swore it was the greatest sound he had ever heard. “I’m glad there’ll be a next time.”
Lance’s blush came back and he looked away. Keith cleared his throat and neatly put stacks of paperwork into filing cabinets under his desk before waking up his laptop with the press of a button. “Now,”
Lance started to look uneasy. This was it; he was committing himself to this. No turning back now. Is this what these sessions are like? Is this what they do? Lull you into a false sense of security, get you talking? He wanted to put his guard back up instantly, but looking at Keith’s kind eyes made him falter.
“Lance,” Keith started.
Lance nodded.
“Hi. I’m Keith, but, uh, I said that earlier,” Keith said, letting out a nervous laugh. “It’s really nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, you too.” Lance said honestly.
Is this the guy Shiro was talking about? How would he make me happy?
“So, Lance, what’s on your mind?” Keith asked, resting his clasped hands on the desk. Lance knew Keith would give him all the time he needed to start talking so he used the opportunity to give him a once over... more than once. He looked as if he worked out; his shirt was a snug fit on him, accentuating the curves of his toned biceps underneath the grey material. Silver studs decorated his ears that were only partly on show behind the lush silky black hair that framed his face perfectly. His pale pink lips pulled into a heartwarming smile and his bright eyes never broke contact with Lance’s.
Okay, maybe Shiro was on to something.
“Aren’t you... a little young to be a therapist?” Lance asked before he could stop himself.
Keith snorted and laughed, easing Lance’s embarrassment slightly. “First, I’m just a grad counsellor. Filling in for whenever the main university therapist is away. But, you’re the first person who’s actually taken note of my age. I suppose, by usual standards, I am pretty young. I’m almost twenty-two.”
“Pretty young?” Lance cried. “You’re still practically a baby!”
“And how old are you, thirty?” Keith smirked.
Lance put a hand to his chest and gasped, feigning offence. “I’ll have you know, I’m well into my twenties!”
“Oh, yeah?” Keith looked slightly surprised. “How far?”
“...a few months.” Lance mumbled.
Keith held his stomach, laughing loudly. Lance couldn’t help but smile and giggle at the sight. He loved making other people laugh and this just reminded him how long it had been since he’d shared a moment like that with... well, anyone.
“Who’s the baby now?” Keith teased. Lance didn’t think Keith realised how suggestive the tone of his voice could sound. He shifted in his seat as Keith tucked a few locks of loose hair behind his ear again, gathering himself. “Just so you know, I am completely qualified. In case you were worried.”
Lance shook his head. “I’m not worried. It’s nice to have someone much older than me to talk to.”
Keith’s eyebrows drew together slightly, clearly not joking around anymore. “Sure. Are you aware you’re displaying signs of anxiety right now, Lance?”
Just then, Lance caught himself bouncing his leg up and down again, stopping abruptly. “Heh, it does that a lot anyway. Has a mind of its own.”
“Your face is also very red.”
Lance’s eyes widened slightly. “Uh, it’s hot in here.”
“Take your hoodie off.” Keith suggested, not breaking eye contact.
Lance felt like he was about to explode. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He said, smirking, shooting finger guns towards him.
Keith sat there, unmoving. “You also make jokes as a defence tactic when you don’t know what else to do. Don’t you?”
Lance just looked at him, the grin falling from his face.
“Is that how people see you? The one who’s always joking around?” Keith continued. “It’s what they’re used to, right? What they like to see from you? And you just keep it up because it’s easy. Easier than telling them what you’re really feeling, anyway. Because they don’t expect anything else from you. So, you don’t give them anything else.”
Lance’s face paled. He tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat, but struggled.
“And they just take and take and take from you. All the good company, the jokes, the laughter. And what are you left with? What do you get back from them?”
Keith leaned forward, his arms resting on the table. “Do you get anything back, Lance?”
Keith’s voice was soft, yet it still managed to pierce into Lance with force. Lance could do nothing but stare at Keith, brows furrowed, lips slightly parted.
Was Lance that transparent? Did he show signs like that all the time? If so, surely Pidge and Hunk would’ve noticed and talked to him about it. That’s what friends do, right? They support each other. But Lance didn’t have that feeling of being supported. He just felt... empty.
“Should I take that silence as a no?” Keith said gently, waking Lance out of his thoughts.
Lance’s eyes were focused on a young indoor palm tree that stood in the back corner of the room, looming over the grey shelving fixed to the wall. Among the multitude of books, papers and folders, he spotted a small plush bear holding a rainbow flag.
“You alright?”
Lance blinked back into the present, his eyes now on Keith. The intensity in the way Keith was looking into him made Lance shudder slightly.
“Yeah, um... I’m sorry. All this isn’t news or anything. I’ve been feeling this way for a while now. You got it in one. It’s just weird hearing it in a way that actually makes sense to me, you know? Instead of a jumbled mix of emotions. I’m... rambling. Sorry.”
“From my understanding, I don’t believe you have to be sorry about any of this.” Keith said. “Ramble all you want. I think it’s time you were heard for a change.”
A small smile found its way to Lance’s lips.
“I’m glad that you can finally make sense of this,” Keith continued. He stood up and walked over to his bookshelf. “But that’s only the first part. The next is to figure out what to do about it that will benefit you.”
Keith picked out a few books and pushed them across the table to Lance. He picked one up and read the title. The Little Book of Mindfulness.
“What are these for?” He asked.
“They’re self-help books. Some include exercises that help stimulate your brain, relax your muscles, that sort of thing.”
Keith sat back down and pointed to the one Lance was holding. “That one’s my favourite out of these. If you do get around to reading it yourself, ignore all the little notes I’ve put in there. I just like doing that.”
Lance blinked. “This... is really nice, Keith. Thank you. When do you want them back?”
Keith just shook his head. “They’re yours. And,” He added, putting a finger up, stopping Lance from protesting. “I’m not taking no for an answer.”
Lance was silent for a few seconds before chuckling. “Alright. Thanks.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
The room went silent for longer than Lance was used to being comfortable with. But, with Keith, he found it actually was a comfortable silence. It was around half a minute before he caught himself staring into Keith’s eyes with a fond smile on his face. Keith seemed to have noticed and tried to hide his smirk.
“Uh, I-I don’t really... know what to do now. Are we done? Do I, like, pay you or something?” Lance stuttered, clutching the books to his chest.
“You couldn’t afford me.” Keith laughed. “No, you don’t need to pay me. This service is funded by the university, so you can come see me whenever you like.”
“Oh. Do I make the next appointment now then, or...?” Lance trailed off.
Keith just looked at him for a few seconds before reaching across his desk, grabbing a notepad and a pen. He scribbled down on it, Lance watching his every move, before tearing the paper away from its binding and handing it to Lance.
“What’s this?” He asked, taking it from him.
“It’s my number.”
“I already have your number, it’s on your card.”
Keith let out a small laugh that made Lance’s heart flutter. “No, not for here. It’s my phone number. My personal one.”
Lance made a noise that wasn’t far from being a squeak. “W-what? Why?”
“I don’t think you need any additional appointments here. Or therapy in general. You just need... someone. Right?”
Lance’s shoulders sagged. “Keith... I don’t need you to pity me.”
“Who’s pitying you?” Keith asked, genuinely. “You seem like a person I’d like to get to know more of.”
“So, what, you want to be friends?” Lance asked.
Keith shrugged. “Dunno. Text me later and perhaps I’ll give you an answer.”
Lance couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, okay,” He said, putting the piece of paper in his pocket. “I’ll text you. Can I go now?”