Chapter Text
Feelings are hard. But I feel them in my chest, a tiny war within. ~Feelings by Lauv
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The Luthor was in her apartment, her thumb running over the watch Kara had just gifted her that was held in the palm of her hand when the raven haired woman suddenly got the other idea. A new simulation.
It didn’t take long to map out the scene, within the hour Lena had it finished. She was a Luthor after all. And once the scientist did finish, getting the gist of it, she was about to activate it when a voice rang out,
“Miss. Luthor, I am curious to why you have created this... particular simulation.” Hope had spoken up and Lena froze, her mind searching for a proper response.
“I just. It’s something I need to do. I need to see.” The CEO carefully chose her words, partly to convince herself as well. No other reasons.
With that, and a flick of her fingers, her eyes turned blue.
It was a late night and everything looked so... surreal. The flicker of the elevator lights and the creaking as it carried Lena to the floor Kara’s apartment was. She didn’t need to think where she was going, as soon as the elevator doors opened her feet carried her to the Kryptonians door until she was knocking. Suddenly the Luthor began second guessing herself. What was she doing? This-
Before the raven haired woman could finish her thought, the door swung open revealing a blonde Kryptonian wearing bright smile,
“Lena! I didn’t expect company tonight. It’s late, is something wrong?”
Lena walked passed the threshold. She turned to Kara. Kara, who was standing there, patient as always.
“I- you shared your secret with me, now it’s time for mine.” She said her voice not giving room for weakness.
Kara glanced at her with a small tilt of her head like a golden retriever puppy and Lena couldn’t help but curse herself for making this so realistic, Kara, so realistic. Then again, it wasn’t necessarily her fault. But it didn’t mean it hurt any less. Maybe last time Lena had been using the VR to punch the Kryptonian but not today.
“What do you mean?” Kara’s voice sounded... off as it interrupted her thoughts and this was it. This was the moment. Lena couldn’t stop her hands shaking even though in the back of her head she had to keep reminding herself, this wasn’t real. This isn’t actually Kara. This outcome doesn’t matter.
Yet it did. Because Lena had opened a box. She had opened one of those teeny tiny little boxes she kept so well hidden, so buried deep down.
“I- I need to confess something.” Lena said, it took everything to keep the shakiness out of her voice. It only made sense that her hands would shake.
She glanced at Kara, deep blue orbs staring back at her, filled with concern and worry and Lena had to swallow the lump in her throat that was starting to form.
This wasn’t real. This wasn’t Kara. This isn’t ever going to happen.
“I- I love you.” She spoke out quietly, breaking the small silence that had formed.
“What?” Kara’s voice found its way to Lenas ears and Lena locked her jaw as she said quieter unable to stop the emotion that entered her voice,
“Please. Don’t make me say it again.” There was only silence as Kara kept looking at her and Lena couldn’t stand it.
“I love you.” Came Lena’s hoarse reply as she attempted but failed to speak louder, keeping her eyes on her hands fiddling on her lap. Was Kara trying to torture her or something?
“What?” Came the reply and Lena felt confused, lifting her gaze to Kara who had the same look on her face.
“I love you.” Lena said slightly more confident.
“What?” At this Lena felt confusion wash over her. What the heck was happening?
“I love you?” She asked confused.
It was the same face, same expression, same tone,
“What?”
Suddenly a flood of emotions hit her. Was something wrong? She felt anger, confusion and... fear as she said more forcefully.
“Kara, I said I love you!”
This time Kara didn’t even answer and Lena felt an angry rush of tears fill her eyes,
“I love you Kara Zor-El!” She practically yelled. Nothing.
“I love you! Please, please, just say something. Anything.” It was the wrong choice of words,
“What?”
Lena found her knees buckle under her as she exclaimed through a gasp of sobs,
“I love you!"
Before Lena could do anything it was as if patches of her surroundings were disappearing. Glitching. Kara’s figure also started glitching flickering before her and before she could respond, with a crackle and a pop the simulation fizzled out leaving Lena crying on the floor of her penthouse, loud sobs wracking her body, the only thing she could hear until another voice cut in.
“Miss Luthor. The simulation has seemed glitch due to the fact that your mind cannot comprehend a reaction. Good or bad, it was too overwhelming for your psyche, and it seems that deep down you are terrified of the reaction you could possibly ever get; good or bad, if you told Kara you loved her.”
“You love me?” Another voice cut in, another voice Lena recognized in an instant, another voice that belonged to the very person Lena had been talking to moments before. The Luthors’ head snapped up, wide eyed as she found Kara still dressed in her super suit, a look of complete surprise upon her face.