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Charles gently sat down on Vincent’s bed. He was being very slow and cautious, is if he’d ruin anything he touched. Vincent noticed this, but didn’t feel the need to comment on it. He found it cute, if anything.
“Thoughts?” Vincent asked, his arms crossed over his chest.
Charles’ eyes make their way around the room. He sits there for a moment just taking it in.
“It’s nice. Comfy…”
Vincent’s room was very organized and neat. It was also quite clean, in contrast to the rest of the house. It was like Vincent’s own little pocket of the world, it didn’t feel like it was apart of anything. Rather fitting, Charles thought.
“Are you alright, Charles?”
Vincent’s voice pulled Charles out of the strange daze-like state he was in, and he flinched.
“Oh, uh- Yeah. I’m fine.” Charles fixed his eyes on the ground, not wanting to look directly at him. He was blinding, far too bright to stare at.
“You seem tense. You should get some rest if you’re feeling ill.” Vincent spoke casually, but a twinge of concern tugged at his heart.
Charles shook his head with a small wave of his hand.
“I’m really fine. I’m just…” He trailed off. He knew he was uncomfortable, but he didn’t know how to explain it. Especially not without hurting Vincent’s feelings. If Vincent’s feelings could be hurt, anyways.
“Are you nervous?” Vincent smiled, tilting his head to the side, leaning into Charles’ view. It was probably supposed to be a teasing gesture, but Charles found it more comforting than anything.
Charles simply nodded in reply, rubbing the back of his neck. This sure was more awkward than he’d hoped.
Without much of another word from Vincent, he grabbed his phone and started tapping the screen. Charles watched with an eyebrow raised. This seemed a bit random, what was he doing?
There was a short silence between the two until a song started playing from Vincent’s phone. He set it down on the desk behind him.
Then, without warning, he grabbed Charles’ hand and pulled him up from the bed.
Charles’ heart skipped a beat as soon as Vincent grabbed him. It was so sudden, but it felt like this should’ve happened sooner. Vincent moved too fast yet achingly slow at the same time. Charles could hardly handle it.
Vincent’s hand was rough and somewhat calloused, in stark contrast to how gentle his touch was. The music… Well, Charles couldn’t really hear it. It sounded like random soft noise, mixing together with the sound of his heartbeat ringing in his head. It sounded vaguely familiar, but he wasn’t able to focus enough with Vincent so close.
“Why did you…”
Vincent chuckled. He moved the hand he’d been holding down to his waist and grabbed Charles’ free one, linking their fingers together.
“We’re going to do something instead of just sitting here. Perhaps it will help you calm yourself.”
“Oh. O-Okay…” Charles nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. He silently prayed to whatever god or goddess might be listening that he wouldn’t start sweating with Vincent close like this.
After a few more seconds, Vincent started moving. He took a couple of small steps back, taking Charles with him. Charles just sort of awkwardly followed him. He tried his best to match his movements, which he was doing fine with. That was, until he stepped on Vincent’s foot.
“Oh, god- I’m sorry. I-“ Charles awkwardly stumbled over his words until Vincent started laughing.
“It’s alright, Charles. Do you not know how to dance…?”
Charles hesitated, but eventually just shook his head.
Vincent nodded.
“Allow me to show you, then. Follow my lead.”
Charles adjusted a little bit, readying himself. Vincent started moving.
“If I move like this, then…” Vincent started taking slow step, trying his best to make it easy for Charles to follow.
“I move like this?” Charles asked, trying once again to mimic Vincent’s movements.
“Yes, that’s good. If you do that enough it will begin to feel more natural to you.”
Charles took a deep breath, looking down at their feet to make sure he avoided anymore awkward moments like before.
And eventually, he would come to realize Vincent was right. Every movement started feeling natural. He immediately knew what to follow each of Vincent’s steps with. It was then that he could finally tune into the actual music. It was a soft song. Acoustic guitar and pleasant vocals. Although it was still familiar, he didn’t recognize the song exactly. From what lyrics he could make out, it sounded romantic.
Now that Charles was slightly more confident, he tentatively took his eyes off the ground and looked back at Vincent.
Vincent looked very happy, yet calm. Content, even. His eyes were closed and a small smile sat comfortably on his face. Charles could tell he was in his comfort zone. He was following the music, letting it pull him back and forth across the small amount of free space in the room.
Usually, Charles would feel uncomfortable in a situation like this. There was so little space between them. Or to move around in in general, for that matter. Not to mention his gloves were hastily shoved into his bag upon entering Vincent’s house in the first place. It was probably nonsensical, but he didn’t want to seem disrespectful, like he was disgusted with Vincent’s household. But they were touching hands. And somehow, he was fine. There were no shivers being sent down his spine, nor did his stomach turn.
Maybe Vincent was the only thing that didn’t feel filthy. He was pure. Untouched. Uncontaminated.
Charles apparently got too lost in his thoughts, because he ended up stumbling over his own feet at some point.
He didn’t even realize what happened.
One moment he was getting caught up in the bliss of the moment, the next he fell, and the next his heart was beating so hard he thought it might burst out of his chest.
He fell. And Vincent caught him. Vincent Fennell was holding him in his arms.
Vincent’s worried “are you alright?” barely registered in his brain as he was processing this.
“Charles? Are you alright?” He asked again, genuinely concerned that his friend apparently stopped being able to properly function.
“Jesus Christ, Charles.” Charles thought to himself. “Say something, you fucking idiot.”
Charles blinked, looking up towards Vincent’s face. Their eyes met, and all of Charles’ thoughts were replaced with one word.
“Beautiful.” Charles blurted out without being able to stop himself.
There was a moment of quiet before Vincent started laughing, which pulled Charles out of his own brain just in time to realize he just thoroughly embarrassed himself.
“Oh, jeez, I— I didn’t mean to say that out loud. Uh- Sorry.” Charles desperately stumbled over his words, trying to explain himself.
Charles felt heat rising up his face as Vincent’s laugh started getting slower and quieter.
“Cute.” Said Vincent, without explanation.
Charles realized Vincent’s arms might end up being his deathbed, but he was surprisingly okay with that.
Before Charles could really respond with anything more than an awkward noise, Vincent’s lips lightly connected with his.
Oh, yeah. A kiss. He was being kissed.
What.
Vincent was kissing him. No warning, no explanation, no provocation. And he liked it.
Charles decided to return the gesture before he lost the chance to. In turn, Vincent deepened the kiss slightly and gently pushed Charles up against the wall. Just so they’d be in a bit more of a comfortable position. After doing so, he wrapped his arms around his neck, letting them rest comfortably on top of his shoulders. Charles decided to wrap his arms around Vincent’s waist, pulling him in slightly closer. They both closed their eyes.
It was all so… pleasant. Their bodies were lightly pressed together in a sort of hug. It felt like they were gently melting into each other. Everything was tender and soft, including the kiss itself. This feeling was new to them, yet it felt like second nature to them.
Soon enough, Vincent hesitantly pulled away.
Both of their breaths mixing together left a comfortable warmth in between the two of them.
“Had I known you were so fond of me, I would have done this sooner.” Vincent smiled his trademark polite smile, but there was a sense of smugness behind it this time.
Charles just started laughing. He was genuinely amused at the situation, but at the same time, he was undeniably happy. That wasn’t something he could usually say with confidence. Everything around him was so fake. Anything he could call “happiness” came from all the walls he put up to block out all the filth around him. Like a child escaping to their imaginary little happy place.
But this time? It was all so palpably real. His laugh wasn’t bitter for once. His smile came naturally. The butterflies in his stomach weren’t going to lead into another panic attack.
And god, did he need this. He wished for this for so long.
It was as if Vincent was his own personal guardian angel. Saving him from himself. Saving himself from sinking down too far into the blood curdling horrors of his own mind.
And Charles? He couldn’t be more thankful.
Charles noticed Vincent started laughing too.
Was he feeling the same way Charles was? He sure hoped so. That’s all he ever wanted for him.
Eventually they calmed down.
Vincent’s head sort of naturally drifted onto Charles’ shoulder as he was laughing. Charles didn’t mind. He liked it, Vincent leaning on him like that. He turned it into a gentle hug, and Vincent decided to follow along. Charles closed his eyes, resting his head on top of Vincent’s and gently rubbing his back.
“Thanks…” Charles said quietly.
“For what?” Vincent questioned.
“This. It was nice… It definitely calmed me down.” Charles replied, absentmindedly curling Vincent’s soft hair around his fingers.
“I’m glad.” Vincent made some sort of gesture with his head. Charles couldn’t tell if he was nodding or if he was nuzzling into his shoulder.
“…Was that- your first? Kiss, I mean.” Charles’ first instinct was to rub the back of his neck, but he didn’t want to take his hands off of Vincent unless he absolutely had to.
Vincent stood up with a hum, taking his head off Charles’ shoulder, but not letting go of the hug.
“If you must know, yes. I’ve never really had a chance before now.” Vincent answered calmly. Charles thought he must’ve been immune to embarrassment.
“I see.” Charles nodded, drifting off into thought a little bit. He felt kind of guilty that Vincent’s first kiss was with him, of all people. But it was his choice, right? It wasn’t like he could do much about it now, anyways.
“And you?”
“Huh?”
“It’s only fair, isn’t it? Was that your first kiss, or not?” Vincent leaned back a little bit, getting a better look at Charles’ face.
“Oh, uh, yeah… I’m not really great with physical stuff, so- Y’know. Never really wanted to, I guess.” Charles tried to come off as nonchalantly as he could, but he figured he probably just ended up looking like a nerd.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I should have asked you first.” Vincent frowned, a guilty feeling settling in his chest.
“Ah, no, no. It’s really okay. I liked it a lot- It felt… different.” Charles quickly tried to reassure Vincent. He didn’t want to see him upset for even a second.
“Really? What makes me different? Out of curiosity.”
“Oh, it’s…” Charles looked up over Vincent’s head, trying to think of the phrasing.
Oh no.
Not now, dear god. Any time but now.
I took my pills today.
Just like I was supposed to.
Why is she here?
I can’t.
Not now.
Not here.
I froze. My blood ran cold when I saw it.
There she was. Scarlett Eyler in the corner of the room, watching from afar like a predator getting ready to hunt down its prey.
I push Vincent away. He stumbles backwards, catching himself on his heels.
“Charles?”
His voice feels so distant. He’s so far away from me.
He reaches out a hand, I slap it away.
Oh, god. I’m so sorry.
I hurt you. I’m so sorry.
I desperately want to say that. But when I speak all that comes out is a random assortment of panicked noises.
It’s her fault. It’s all her fault.
It’s like shes taking the words from my mouth before they even have a chance to escape me.
I can’t breathe. I desperately grab my chest, my nails sinking into my skin so hard I’m afraid I’ll start bleeding. But I get nothing in return. My body is resisting me.
I slide down the wall, bringing my knees to my chest.
I make the mistake of looking up again.
She’s still there, glaring at me. If looks could kill I’d already be dead where I stand.
The world itself starts to warp around me. Everything in my field of vision is twisting and turning into something unrecognizable.
Scarlett speaks.
“I warned you, Eyler. What did I say about being around this kid?”
Shut up.
Don’t you dare say another fucking word about him.
He’s the one thing you haven’t ruined yet.
“I keep telling you, I’m trying to do what’s best for you.”
You’re a filthy liar.
Filthy.
Everything is filthy.
By now, Scarlett’s face had shifted. Even more chilling than her icy glare, a horrid monstrosity was left in its place.
I’m sweating bullets.
I’m freezing cold, yet burning hot at the same time.
I still can’t breathe.
Air is forcefully pushed out of my lungs in uneven, ragged breaths.
Please. God. I just want to breathe.
I feel disgusting.
I want to peel my skin off.
I hear his voice.
“Charles!”
It echoes in my hear.
I force my eyes to stare in his direction, though I’m scared to see what he looks like now.
But he was the same.
Among everything, he was the only one who stayed the same.
“Vi—“
It’s too late.
—————————————
I jolt up out of bed and fail to keep my screams at bay.
I’m still sweating bullets, I still can’t breathe.
My chest is shakily rising up and down with each of my desperate gasps, as if its being pull along with my pounding heart.
I feel my stomach turn and the bile rises up my throat. A sour taste fills my mouth.
I think I’m going to be sick.
My body is shaking, I can hardly move.
I look down at my hands. They’re empty as always. The feeling of his hands in mine isn’t here any longer. His scent has dissipated. His body isn’t close to mine now.
I couldn’t save him
He’s gone.
Vincent is gone.
Too late.