Work Text:
“Oh my God, Phil, don’t you see that’s not right?” Dan stomps his foot like a toddler. It’s too hot outside, Phil’s being annoying and their bed is not in the right spot. So yes, he feels like a toddler and wants to have his tantrum. “It’s not supposed to go there. It breaks all kinds of feng shui rules.”
Phil gives him a look. He’s tired, they both are, but Dan can’t help being a prick. He’s enjoying this too much, riling up Phil for the sake of it. At this point, he knows he should let it go, but they’ve been too stressed lately. With finding a place (had to be decent, cheap and in Manchester, not an hour from it), with actually moving in together, with debating whether they’re both ready for it. Plus Dan dropped out of university amidst all of it. He has bad days and he has good ones. Everything is a lot at the moment, so they deserve some fun, he decides.
“You don’t know the first thing about feng shui.”
Dan rolls his eyes. “Well, I bloody know that the bed can’t stay there.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why? Cause it blocks the fucking door, mate!”
Phil looks. His brows are furrowed as he observes their situation. Where the bed is currently, while the headboard is against the wall, the door cannot be fully opened without it hitting the end of the bed.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
“Well, how about if we shuffled it over?”
“Then I wouldn’t have a bedside table.”
Phil sits on the bed, seemingly giving up. The frame creaks under his weight. “Moving is hard.”
Dan crawls across the mattress, to Phil, hugging him from behind. He rests his chin on his shoulder. “It is. But this is ours, babe.” He kisses the crook of his neck. “No more hiding from parents or flatmates. We’re not squished into your tiny shoebox, either.”
“Yeah.” Phil puts his hand on Dan’s. It’s warm and soft and belongs to Phil, so just about all of Dan's favourite things in the world. “So where are we putting the bed?”
Five minutes later, the bed is in its rightful and final place. They both deem it okay there. Besides, Dan can’t be arsed to move it, since he broke a sweat and that’s just unacceptable for him. He feels utterly miserable so he takes his T-shirt off while Phil fetches them some Ribena.
He’s plugging a lamp in when Phil returns. He raises his eyebrow when he sees Dan, half-naked, holding the item.
“So hot,” Phil tells him with a playful smile.
“Yeah, I am, Jesus.” Dan puts the lamp on the table and takes the drink, immediately downing it. “Next time we’re moving, it’s going to be winter, okay?”
“But then I won’t be able to see this.” He walks to Dan and brushes his finger against his spine, pads bumping against the vertebrae. It makes Dan shiver as he melts into Phil’s touch. “So utterly gorgeous.”
Dan turns so he faces Phil. At some point over the past two years, he became taller than his boyfriend. When they started dating, Phil was taller, only by a couple of inches, but still. Now it’s Dan. But at times like these, he feels small because he feels protected and safe.
He raises his arm and brushes Phil’s fringe back. “Your roots are showing.”
“I know… Dye it for me?”
“Sure.”
Phil tuts, then, with another cheeky smile he says, “Have I told you how hot you look when you’re sweaty?”
Dan rolls his eyes. Phil’s being a spork, but even still, Dan can’t help but feel absolute love for him. “So in the last ten seconds you developed a sweat kink?”
“Everything for you babe,” Phil kisses his forehead. “So what’s next?”
“Hmm…” Dan fiddles with the hem of Phil’s shirt. “We could unpack the clothes, or we could do the other bedroom… Or…”
“Or?” Dan knows that Phil knows, but he’s just asking because he’s being a gentleman.
“We could uh… Christen the new mattress. You know, break the bed in, make sure that it performs okay.”
Phil laughs. “You know if my religious great auntie would hear you using ‘christen’ like that, she’d be hitting us with a Bible.”
“Oh, brilliant, thanks for that image!”
“Always,” Phil kisses him. He intends it to be a short peck, but Dan’s determined to make it last. So he holds onto Phil by the back of his neck, while his other hand explores Phil's stomach under his shirt. “Sheet first,” he whispers against Dan’s lips.
“My two favourite words.”
“So domestic.”
Dan starts putting the bedsheet on, hoping that Phil would join. However, as usual, Phil gets distracted, by a pigeon flying right outside their window.
“I’m sure whatever that Mancunian pigeon has to offer, can’t be better what I’m offering.”
Phil turns to him. He cocks his head to the side and checks Dan out. “And what is it you’re offering exactly?”
“The joys of putting a fitted bedsheet on.”
“Hmm, tempting. On second thought, I think I should brave the Manchester wilderness and get some uh... cheese.”
“You don’t even eat cheese, you just want to get out of it.” Phil nods, barely holding back his laughter. ”The sooner we do it, the sooner we can make sure that the mattress is sex proof.”
“But then we’ll have to take off the sheets.”
“I’ll just put fucking plastic on it, how about that?”
“The floor?”
“I’m not having sex on the frickin’ carpet.” At this point, Dan is certain that Phil is taking the piss, that this is nothing but revenge for Dan’s earlier behaviour. “Fine, how about this? I’ll put it on, I’ll take it off. Just fuck me please.”
Phil looks at him before grinning. “Someone’s desperate.”
“You fucking twat.”
Dan grabs his wrists and pulls him in for a kiss. Phil’s hands go to Dan’s hips, pulling him close, pressing chest to chest as he kisses the sweet life out of Dan. Living together will be fun, and maybe, just maybe, they can get stuff done if they stopped being the little shits they both are.