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“So is this the last time you’re gonna see these guys on AmazingPhil before 2015?” Dan asks, briefly looking into the camera before looking at Phil.
Phil pretends to be worried. Another year has ended. “Yeah, I feel emotional!” Phil puts his hand on his chest while Dan giggles next to him. It’s a stupid, sentimental thing, but it’s them. “Thank you for joining me in 2014, and I will see you when we are flying around in our hovercars… with our robot pets.”
“Robot pets? That’s what’s coming?” Phil crawls towards the camera to turn it off as Dan keeps talking. “As of like, a week from now?”
“Goodbye,” Phil whispers as he turns the camera off.
They wait a few seconds before Dan starts laughing. “These are just getting more and more ridiculous.”
“They are, but that’s okay.” Phil sits back next to Dan. He wants to put his head on Dan’s shoulder, but instead, he manages to headbutt his arm. “Shit, sorry.”
Dan rolls his eyes. “Why are we still sitting on the floor?”
“Because we’re lazy and can’t be arsed to move.”
“Hmm, true, but pine needles are poking me in the bum,” Dan says and he sees Phil looking around them. “If you even dare to pick one up and say ‘I’m the only one who can poke Dan in the bum’ to it, then no sex for a week.”
Phil looks up. He’s completely shocked, but somehow manages to sound confident when he says, “As if you could go a week without sex.”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve got two perfectly functioning hands.”
Phil gives him a look. It’s equally amused and curious, but in the end, he just says, “Speaking of…”
“Hands?”
“No, sex. I think I was promised some.”
“When?” Dan furrows his brows. He stands up and pulls Phil up as well. They both sit on the sofa and Dan turns the volume up. “Oh, the clock?”
“Yeah.”
Dan watches the TV for a bit before saying, “Are we becoming an old, married couple?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, do we just schedule when we want to have sex? ‘Oh, honey, I’m free between 3 and 4 on Tuesday, is that okay?” Phil snorts and Dan shoves his leg with his own. “Shut up, you know what I mean.”
“I think our sex life is okay. Or I thought it was.”
“It is, that’s not what I’m saying!” Dan grunts. He motions with his hands, either in frustration or he’s just trying to act what he means out for Phil, who doesn’t get that. “Nevermind, let’s just watch this.”
They watch Graham Norton for a bit, laughing at his stupid jokes. Once the programme is over, Phil reaches for Dan’s wrist and pulls him in. Dan turns towards him, wondering what the hell he’s up to. Phil is still holding Dan’s arm, trying to move him. “Oh my god, just sit in my lap!” he says in frustration. Dan can’t help but laugh. This is just too funny. “Dan, come on!”
“Is this you trying to be spontaneous?” He giggles as he takes his rightful place in Phil’s lap. His knees are touching the sofa and his hands are on Phil’s shoulders. As he wiggles his butt, he can feel Phil pressing against him. “I thought we’re waiting for Tuesday.”
“Don’t be an idiot.”
Phil kisses him, fingers running through his hair. God, Dan really loves this person.
“Merry Christmas, you dinkus,” Dan says, smiling at Phil. He brushes Phil fringe back, until it forms a quiff that Dan loves so much. “When are you getting rid of it?”
“When you’re binning the straightener.”
Dan nods. He’s not quite there yet. It’s a process, letting go of his past fears and a part of his identity.
“Why don’t we use that mouth for something useful, hm?”
Twenty minutes later, they’re in bed, perfectly sated and in their pyjamas. Phil’s reading the book he got and Dan can’t help but notice that he’s been reading the same page for the last five minutes.
“Let’s put that down, love.”
“You’re no fun. I’m not even sleepy, ” Phil says and to prove his point, he yawns. “Alright, maybe a bit.” He takes his glasses off and scoots down so his head is on the pillows and duvet covers his shoulders. He cuddles into Dan’s side who’s still browsing on his phone. “Are you not bored of it? Of me?”
“Why would I be?”
The duvet moves, indicating that Phil shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s always the same stuff day after day. I feel like that old, married couple comment was about me being boring.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I don’t know, it’s just… I think I’ve grown comfortable in our relationship at some point. We’ve been dating for five years now, so I don’t think I’m trying to impress you as much as I did when we were younger.”
“You don’t need to impress me, Phil.” Dan puts his phone on the bedside table and turns back to Phil, kissing his temple. “I’m already pretty impressed, y’know. That comment definitely wasn’t about you, I was just saying.”
“I know, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply anything.”
Dan strokes Phil’s hair for a few seconds. “Is this just sleep talking or are you actually thinking this?”
“A bit of both. I love you, Dan, so much. But I love you enough to understand that if you want to go because you’re bored with me, I have to let you go.”
Within a second, Dan gets pissed. Not at Phil, he can never get mad at Phil. He gets angry at the thoughts Phil’s having.
“Phil, hear me when I say. I’m not bored with you. Can’t you see how crazy I’m about you still? I will never leave you. I’m like that Gorilla tape that you can’t take off, so you’re not getting rid of me, mate.” Phil chuckles. “Unless you want to go.”
“Fuck, Dan, no.” He sits up, squinting at Dan because he can’t see without his glasses. “I’m growing old with you, end of story.”
“Good. Now go sleep, otherwise you’ll be grumpy tomorrow.”
“I’m not sleepy anymore.”
Phil gives him a look, or more precisely the look. Dan groans and says, “I still haven’t recovered from the previous round.”
“I’ll go downstairs and get you your Viagra.”
Dan rolls his eyes. He puts his hand on Phil’s jaw, gingerly cupping his face. “Are we good, then?”
“Yeah, we are. I’m sorry I’m such an idiot sometimes.”
“You’re always an idiot but that’s why I love you.” Dan takes his hand, tangling their fingers together. It feels just as good when he did it five years ago. He knows it’ll feel just as good in five years time. “Now about that Viagra…”