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When they’ve all gone to their separate rooms after everything—the ritual, their escape from Neibolt, the quarry, Eddie—Richie’s grateful for it, as numb as he feels inside. He’s tired. They all are. He collapses onto the bed, the sheets cool against his face, and he sighs into the pillow as he struggles to get underneath the covers without opening his eyes again. He reaches blindly for the lamp, nearly knocking it off the nightstand before he finally finds the off switch and the room sinks into darkness.
Suddenly, his breath is stuck in his throat, and he feels himself start to sweat even as his body begins to shiver. The deadlights. All he can see is the deadlights. He can’t bring himself to open his eyes, afraid they’ll be right above him again.
Yeah, that’s right. Let’s dance.
Why’d he say that? If he hadn’t said that, Eddie wouldn’t have tried to kill Pennywise.
Why’d he have to go and say that. Eddie would still be here.
The lights taunt him, going around and around and around. Trapping him. There’s nothing you can do now, Pennywise didn’t have to say. I know your secret; I’ll trap you just like it’s been trapping you your whole life. He feels the tears running hot down his cheeks, and he wishes they were still in the quarry, the blue water cold against his skin; his friends holding him.
Eddie. We have to go back for him. We have to go back. Please.
He gasps as someone roughly shakes his shoulders, a hand warm against his cheek as someone shouts his name through the fog. He finally opens his eyes again and the light above blinds him, but it’s just one light, it’s just one light, and Bill looks as scared as Richie feels.
“Richie, it’s okay,” Bill says as he pulls him forward until Richie’s held tight in his arms, crying into his neck. Distantly, Richie realizes his throat feels dry, meaning he must have been yelling those things, must have been calling for Eddie. For help. For his friends.
“I’m sorry,” he says for some reason, but Bill just holds him tighter. He closes his eyes again, but this time the deadlights don’t appear. He wraps his arms around Bill and lets himself cry until his fear of the darkness starts to fade, just a little.