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Cisco could feel his eyes welling up. Hot, salty tears threatening to spill down his cheeks at any point. His jaw was constricting in time to his heart faltering. His lip wobbled dangerously. It was so stupid. A daft, unimportant thing to cry over. He was stupid, stupid, stupid.
“Are you seriously failing everything?”
“No son of mine is a fucking failure.”
“What are you even good for?”
His fingers absently clawed at the skin of his cheeks, wanting desperately to feel anything but deep and deploring hatred. He hated himself.
He was hunched over his desk, papers swimming in front of his eyes as the tears blurred the world from him. A quiet sob escaped from his lungs and he finally allowed them to fall, his head thunking on the desk as he let go.
Useless, useless, useless. Failure, failure, failure. Good for nothing.
The dorm room door clicked open quietly, and Cisco scrambled to clean his desk a little, save some semblance of dignity. He scrubbed at his eyes with one hand all the while, hastily wiping away the tear tracks.
“Cisco? You okay, dude?” Barry called softly, worriedly.
“Yeah. Yeah I-I’m fine, don’t worry about me, bro. I’m fine.”
Barry was silent. “No, you aren’t. And that’s okay, I’m here for you.”
Cisco turned around and Barry was finally able to see the red of his eyes, the mottled blush from crying too hard. The shaking fingers, the wobbling lip. He took two steps forward, across the room in a flash, and laid a gentle hand on Cisco’s shoulder.
“Can I hug you?”
Cisco nodded slowly. Barry wasted no time pulling him into a tight embrace. He stroked Cisco’s hair, a slow pull of his hand through soft, tangled locks. The other hand rubbed over Cisco’s back. Cisco’s arms were gripping him back just as tight as his body shook with held-in sobs.
“You’re okay, Vibe,” Barry whispered into his hair, pulling out a not commonly used but very much appreciated nickname.
-
“You’re such a dumbass, Vibe,” Barry laughed, staring at Cisco as he excitedly wiggled to the Star Trek theme song.
“Shut up! Wait- Vibe?”
“Yeah, Vibe, because you’re always making me happy and all content with your happy energy.”
Cisco smiled brightly, blush colouring his cheeks full blast.
“Then I guess you’re the Flash because you never fucking sit still.”
“Wow, Cisc’, way to ruin the moment.”
They looked at each other in silence for a second, before immediately breaking down into giggles.
-
“I’m sorry,” Cisco muttered.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Cisc’,” Barry said back, equally quiet. He slowly moved them over, until they reached his bed. Barry pulled him down and settled them into a cuddle on his tiny mattress.
“They kept calling me a failure. They kept calling me useless. They’re right. I’m not talented, like Dante. I’m not as smart, not as funny, not as handsome. I’m really just the disappointment.”
“You are more special than all of them combined. You mean everything to me, to Caitlin, to Iris. I love you, and I’m right here. You are worth more to all of us than you could ever comprehend. You are worth the time of day. You are not weak, you are not stupid, you are not a waste of space. You are the centre of my gravity, and you are important to me, to our friends but most importantly, you are important to yourself. I can’t make you see that, but I can help you get there.”
“I love you too. I’m sorry. I’ll be okay.”
“You’ll be more than okay, you’ll be brilliant.”
Cisco buried his face into Barry’s chest and breathed in time to his heartbeat. As he felt himself slipping into unconsciousness, he felt Barry lean down and press a soft kiss into his hair. He smiled and snuggled deeper.