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Eddie hears the gasp before he sees the teenage girl practically running up to him as he tests the firmness of the green apples in the middle of the supermarket. He doesn’t know what he thinks while she makes her away over, only remembers the frantic look on her face before she’s standing in front of him and pointing at his shirt frantically. He’s too confused to even look down, only offers creased eyebrows as he continues to hold an apple in one hand and his reusable grocery bag in the other (because, “save the turtles” or whatever Richie keeps saying).
“I love your shirt! He’s hilarious. You know he’s having a show at the big theatre down the street tonight, right?” She exclaims, wiggling her finger excitedly at Eddie’s shirt now. And Eddie finally looks down at the shirt (a big cartoon drawing of Richie’s obnoxiously expressive face in front of bright colors from his last comedy tour, just before murdering a clown) silently rolling his eyes because he’d blindly taken this out of Richie’s suitcase and Richie hadn’t said a thing when he walked out of the hotel room. Though he should have been suspicious of the weird smile Richie had on his face before they kissed goodbye, he wasn’t.
“This guy?” Eddie asks, pointing at his own shirt now, apple still in hand, “Oh no, I hate this guy. Totally unfunny. This was the only clean shirt I had.” He shrugs with a laugh and she laughs along with him, Canadians truly were the friendliest of people and their accents were very real.
“I hope you can give him another chance,” She starts, and for a teenager she speaks from her soul (or something) and Eddie can hear it, “his most recent stuff is hilarious, I think he’s been writing his own material. He just came back after a long hiatus.”
Yeah, after murdering a murderous clown, Eddie already mentioned that.
She’s excited when she speaks about Richie, Eddie can’t help but laugh. It makes Eddie swarm with pride to know people have noticed that Richie’s been writing his own material, he was there through all the long nights where Richie would stay up, stressed as could be, pulling at his hair, randomly screaming out of frustration, trying to put his stories onto paper while also trying to make them funny. Thankfully it all worked out in the end and it shows.
He continues to grin at her until he tosses the apple back into the pile to unzip the fanny pack around his hips, “Are you going to his show tonight?” He asks as he searches for the thing he’s looking for. Fanny packs have more room than one needs and Eddie appreciates it more and more everyday.
Eddie sees her shoulders slump out of the corner of his eye, yet she still has a smile on her face, “No, they sold out in 20 minutes and I was at work.” As she finishes her sentence Eddie finally finds the slim ticket in his bag and pulls it out, inspecting it, straightening it out as best he could before handing it to her with a proud smile.
He feels like Scooter Braun handing out tickets to Justin Bieber’s sold out concerts.
“You can have my ticket.” Eddie says, trying to mask his own happiness as she looks at him in disbelief. She even tries to give it back, shoving it back into Eddies hands, saying she can’t just take his ticket, and Eddie can only laugh and push the ticket deeper into her hands, “You sound like a huge fan, it’s the least I can do.” His hearts swarms when she hugs him, tight and warm, thanking him repeatedly.
“You sound like you have a crush on Mr. Tozier.” Eddie jokes and she burst with excitement as she shares this next fact.
“He’s actually gay! Yup, he came out on twitter before his tour started and instantly became a gay icon, he even has a husband!” She frowns as she continues, “But, no one knows what he looks like, Richie says he wants to keep him to himself. I just know that his last name is Kaspbrak because Richie changed his twitter name to Kaspbrak-Tozier!” She’s still so excited when she speaks that Eddie almost can’t keep up.
”So, how do you know that he’s actually married then?” Eddie asks.
”Because he looks happier.” She answers in a heartbeat.
“You’re giving me a whole history lesson on this guy.” Eddie says, he believes in another life he was an actor.
“Sorry.” She laughs, admires the ticket once more, then holds it to her chest and asks, “Are you from here?”
Eddie chuckles, going back to picking out green apples and tossing them into his bag, “No, but giving you that ticket was the most Canadian thing I’ve ever done.” They laugh together again.
She seems to finally acknowledge what Eddie’s doing and points to the apples with a raised chin and puffed out chest, “Another little fun fact! Green apples are actually Richie Tozier’s favorite fruit!” She says it with pride and Eddie can’t help but raise his brows in fake surprise.
Die hard fan.
“Really? I can’t lie, the man’s got great taste.” Eddie shrugs, slightly talking about himself, he tosses one more apple into his bag and slings it around his shoulder, “Well, I’ve got to head out. Gotta get these apples to my husband, they calm his nerves. Hope you enjoy the show tonight!” He waves back at her as he heads to the checkout line, pulling his phone from his fanny pack, and immediately dialing Richie’s number.
“My Spaghetti Eddie!” Richie exclaims through the phone tiredly, Eddie can sense that moments ago he was asleep, he can tell from the grogginess of Richie’s voice. He always sleeps before shows, another way to calm his nerves.
“You’ll never believe what just happened.” Eddie begins with a giggle.
“Canadians are insane.” Richie says as he takes a bite out of the green apple Eddie gave him, pacing the green room they were given and jumping up and down every so often to rid himself of a sudden burst of jitters. Eddie’s sat on top of the desk in front of the mirror with too many light bulbs in it for it not to be a safety hazard.
“You haven’t even gone on stage yet, Rich.” Eddie laughs.
“I know, but I can hear them. They scream at even the slightest of movements from the curtain.” He takes another bite of the apple but that doesn’t stop him from continuing to speak, mouth full of crushed apple bits, “It’s a comedy show, not a concert. Why are they so excited? I’m not John Mulaney or anything.” He tosses the apple core into the trash and rushes to Eddie, settling between his legs and pressing his forehead down onto Eddie’s shoulder.
“Richie,” Eddie coos, rubbing his back and soothing his nerves, “You’re gonna do amazing tonight, I know you will.” He reassures, pulling Richie back and cupping his face in his hands, kissing his forehead before one of the staff of the venue knocks on the already wide open door.
“Five minutes. Please come with me to the stage.” The man at the door says, the headset he had on making him look extra professional.
“Fucking shit.” Richie curses.
“You’ve done this a thousand times, babe.” Eddie laughs.
“Not in Canada, they’re all nice and shit!” He waves his arms as he walks off towards to door.
“You got this.” Eddie sends him a kiss when he turns back around and it may be the gayest thing on earth but Richie still catches it and makes an act of putting it in his jacket pocket.
“Can I get a real kiss for good luck?” Richie asks and Eddie obliges, slides off the desk to walk over to him and pecks his lips, Richie frowns at that, “Kiss me like you mean it, Eds.” He holds Eddie’s hips, brings him closer.
“If I did that we’d be here all night.”
“Oh, you’re so romantic Eddie Kaspbrak-Tozier, the husband of the funniest comedian in the world.” It’s Richie’s turn to peck Eddie’s lips.
Eddie grins into the kiss, “That’s the spirit. Now, get out there, dumbass.”
Richie gets to the grocery story at the end of his set, a great ending to an even greater night.
“Speaking of terrifying leprechauns,” The crowd’s erupting with laughter already, “If you ever run into a short man wearing a fanny pack with my merch on and he says that he doesn’t even like me, that’s my husband.” Richie smiles at himself as the crowd claps and laugh, he holds the microphone with both his hands and kicks shyly, playing up a lovesick puppy, making the crowd laugh ever harder.
Eddie hates to say that his heart fills with warmth as Richie says, “He’s a keeper.”
And Eddie, watching from backstage, watches the girl he’d given the ticket to that same morning, sat front row in the seat he’s meant to be sitting in. Her brows crease as she looks up at Richie, eyes jumping all over the place, connecting invisible dots, and then widening as her mouth drops. She’s too smart for her own good, Eddie can tell.
“I’m not saying this to discredit what he’ll say when you run into him, I’m saying this because he knows me better than anyone so if he tells you I’m not funny you better believe him.” Richie looks at the girl in the front row and grins at her, “Either way, I’ll be hearing all about it when he gets home.” He directs it at her, adds a small wink and soft smile, the crowd still laughs along, yet she’s too frozen in her seat to even react.
“Thank you, Canada! Have a wonderful rest of your night, whether it be getting laid or drinking syrup!” He waves happily, the happiest Eddie has ever seen him wave, and takes his many bows.