Chapter Text
“And I'm so sorry I've never shown just how much you hold” ~You Mean the World to Me, by Freyas Riding
Lena sighed ever so quietly as she carefully took her heels off setting them to the side after entering the shared apartment. After rubbing the soles of her feet for a moment the Luthor got up walking to the room her and Kara shared, to find the Kryptonian fast asleep under the covers and Lena smiled to herself. She was absolutely beautiful. Even in sleep. Blonde rivulets splayed across the pillow. Long tan muscular arms cuddling the pillow with a gentleness that made one question that this was actually the girl of steel. The CEO quickly got undressed before slipping beneath the covers next to Kara snuggling up to her, only to find in surprise the blonde shifting and wiggling until they were face to face.
“Hello darling.” Lena spoke out softly before noticed the crinkle that rested between Kara’s forehead. Her bangs did hide a bit of it, but it was still noticeable.
“Darling?” She repeated the pet name in more of a question.
“Do you know it’s 3am?” At this obvious rhetorical question yet not so obvious Lena furrowed her eyebrows in slight confusion.
“...Yes?” She said her voice carrying uncertainty as it drifted in the space between them.
“You have been working past midnight for the past three months Lena! The past Three! Months!” This time the Kryptonians voice was harsh causing the Luthor to flinch slightly at the suddenness of it.
“I’ve been working on a lot of projects Kara.” The Luthor reasoned, before the blonde headed woman pulled away sitting up causing Lena to do the same in confusion.
“I know that you have a company to run Lena, but what you’ve been doing?! Isn’t healthy! At all!” She exclaimed, anger filling her voice as the super tossed back the blankets and got up walking out of their bedroom Lena uneasily trailing after her.
“Kara, darling,” but the reporter interrupted her, whirling around to face her before she could finish,
“You have been blowing me off! You won’t even go to game night! You have been blowing everyone else off as well! Alex! James! Nia! Brainy! The whole lot of them Lena!”
“And what's your point?” The raven haired woman drawled out, her tone seemingly tired of the conversation, no, the argument that they were having.
“It’s not healthy!” Kara repeated but plowed on before Lena could reason or make excuses,
“I know you’re hurt! I know you are! But they all are too! They are hurting! Especially Alex, Lena, and you need to help them!”
Lena yanked her head back slightly in confusion at the sentences that were just uttered by the woman before her,
“Kara, what do you mean? I’m not hurt, I’ve been busy, yeah, but I’m not hurting?” She asked concern laced in her voice, yet her jaw tightened and her voice seemed to come out as if it was a ghost of recognition that was unwanted.
“I’ll go and drop by and tell Alex ‘hi’ if you really want me-”
“I’m dead Lena.”
The words immediately had an effect on the normally composed CEO as she was sent reeling backwards in surprise and shock at the words uttered out of her girlfriends mouth.
She was left her mouth opening and closing as she stood there gaping, words seemingly unable to be formed, as Kara continued, this time more gently
“Lena…”
“Wh- what do you mean you’re dead Kara?!” Lena found her voice after a few minutes, and continued speaking,
“Is this some kind of sick joke?”
She watched as Kara softened at the sight of her pain riddled in her eyes,
“Three months ago Lena….. I fought Russian Kara. And I died.” Her voice cracked at this admission and Lena felt fear seize up in her. The Luthor felt sick to her stomach as she stumbled back knocking into the coffee table nearly falling back but caught herself.
“This is some sick prank. Right? No. No, this is some alien, right? Some alien is causing chaos in National City and you’re under its spell. Or maybe I am. Maybe I’m under its influence or something. It’s all just some twisted dreams.” Lena stammered out before catching Kara’s saddened gaze and felt the truth hit her like a bullet through the heart.
“This is real.” The raven haired woman heard herself whisper out. Immediately it was as if something twisted in her chest and she started stuttering out mindlessly.
“No, no, no, no, this- this….” her breathing began to shorten as it seemed the air in the room was cut off and Lena was left gasping for breath.
Kara, or, not? Kara? Lena didn’t know? She didn’t know because she was starting to remember. The headlines. Supergirl dead. National City’s Great Hero Gone. Everything was flashing through her mind so quickly the Luthor was choking on her breaths And Lena finding out from Alex. And asking where Kara was and she wouldn’t tell her. Simply telling her Kara left National City for good. That even after Supergirl died, Alex and all of them still lied to her.
The shorter woman was pulled out of her nightmare by soft hands cupping her cheeks and her eyes flickered up to see Kara, her own pain reflected in her eyes as she looked at Lena in worry and spoke,
“Lena. Darling, I need you to breath. Alright? Count with me…” after a few moments of them counting the Luthor managed to calm herself down. But Lena still had one question. She glanced at Kara in fear before speaking her words into the silence,
“Wh- how- how is this possible? Wha- What are you?” Her voice was heavily shaky, because as far as she was concerned? This was real. She could hear Kara’s voice. Smell her vanilla shampoo, feel her caring touch upon her cheek.
“Three months ago Obsidian North created Virtual Reality contact lenses… they were created by Andrea Rojas. You know her, she was a friend of yours from boarding school.”
Lena felt a part of her heart crack as not-Kara explained everything to her.
“And you took a pair. And learned out to manipulate them. And from there? You... created a series of simulations. Essentially weaving them together, to create… your own little bubble. Of you and me.” The Kara looked at her with a sad smile and Lena felt the tears start to run down her cheeks again. Because she knew it to be true. She remembered telling Kara about her friend Andrea when she went to Lenas office the morning of herPulitzer Prize acceptance. Before Kara told her, her secret… but now it made sense. That it never happened. Just constructs built by her mind.
“And you’ve just… been in here Lena. With me. And I know, I know you miss me. I know you do. But. You, you need to move on.”
Lena sat there in silence as she wrapped her mind around everything simulation Kara had just told her.
“I… I don’t want to.” She croaked out her grip tightening around Kara’s biceps. Lena had created everything she ever wanted. Lex was dead. Kara had told her her secret. Kara and Lena had gotten together. Romantically.
“I… I don’t want to.” The Luthor repeated her voice cracking and Kara shot her a sad smile.
“I know. I know you love this. You love this world, this version of me you created but Lena it isn’t real. You need to face the truth. I’m so sorry. But this has to be done. Just know? I always did love you. And I always will love you. I will be in your heart. Okay?” By this point both women were crying as Kara pressed a gentle hand to Lenas chest and the shorter woman let out a loud sob practically throwing herself at the Kryptonian for a tight hug to which Kara caught her effortlessly, hugging her tightly.
“I’m so sorry I never showed you how much you meant to me. This simulation is going to dissolve now. Okay? You mean the world to me, Lena Kieran Luthor, you are more than just your last name and I will never stop believing in you. Don’t you ever forget it. I love you.”
Kara’s soothing voice in her ear was the last thing Lena hear her say, and yet only seemed to break her heart more. Harsh sobs wracked her body as Lena felt Kara disintegrating from her grip, fading away and found herself alone. Alone in her empty penthouse, her angry cries the only thing echoing in the room.