Work Text:
“What do we have, Cap?” Jake asked, popping his head into the Captain of the 99th’s office, while simultaneously thrumming his fingers against the doorframe.
Captain Holt looked up from his paperwork, a displeased frown – or was it an ecstatic smile? – already spreading on his face.
Jake was never able to tell.
“Watson and Williams have arrested two British tourists.”
“Brits?” Jake repeated, frowning upon the memory of how his last time working with British people had went, “what for?”
“A fist fight,” Captain Holt replied and Jake groaned.
Probably another pair of dudes getting wasted the day before Halloween, ending up in a dark alley, with the both of them fighting over whether or not they had killed the other one’s mother, or worse, the head of their mafia clan and - … Jake shook his head to clear his thoughts. He was clearly getting a bit too creative here.
“I need you to take their statements and fill out the forms if one of them decides to press charges.”
“Can’t you give that one to Amy? She loves paperwork!”
Captain Holt’s eyebrow started twitching and Jake swallowed.
“Fine! But don’t expected me to be happy about it if they’re not in the mafia!” he called while leaving the room, turning back towards his desk.
Jake then was taken by surprise by the group of teenagers lingering by the elevator, some of them having sat down on the floor, while others were still standing up, looking both bored and excited.
“Gina, what are these guys doing here?”
“Huh?” Gina asked, eventually looking up from her phone, “who?”
“The group of kids over there?”
Gina blinks, as if she’s trying to make out what Jake’s talking about, while the detective rolls his eyes.
“I think they followed one of the professors. And I think I might become one of them.”
“What? The guys the officers arrested are professors? Those are students?” he asked, “and why would you want to become a student?”
Gina let out a dramatic sigh, before leaning forward, “Aren’t we all someone’s student, Jake?”
“Ehhhh,” he replied, “is this a trick question?”
But Gina ignored his comment, her gaze wandering off to some point in the distance, “I want to become one of his students, Jake, and let him teach me the secrets of the universe. Which conditioner does Beyoncé use and how to get - …”
“Okay, stop talking, have you seen Boyle? Maybe I can talk him into filling out the paperwork with these guys.”
“Hi, Jake!” Gina’s desk said that second, only it wasn’t Gina’s desk but Boyle, who was kneeling under it, painting Gina’s toenails a bright red colour.
“Do I even wanna know?” Jake asked, closing his eyes, while Charles sighed in defeat.
“But now that you’re here; do you want to take the professor’s statements and let me do real police work?”
Charles crawled from underneath the desk, standing up next to Jake.
“Gina has forbidden me to get any closer than 5 meters to the blond one.”
“What?!”
“She said otherwise I’d,” he air-quoted his next words, “destroy the fantasy.”
Jake rolled his eyes, “Okay, Gina. This guy cannot possibly be that hot.”
To his surprise, Charles chimed in, “Oh, no, he is, Jake.”
“How hot?” Jake asked, growing curious.
“Tell him, Charles,” Gina whispered and Charles looked like he was sick.
“I told you that in confidence!” he exclaimed, while Gina’s smile turned into a smug smirk.
“Tell him, Charles,” she repeated, a glint lighting up her eyes, like she was about to watch drama unfolding.
“Yeah, Charles, spit it out!” Rosa called from somewhere by the printers, apparently having eavesdropped all along.
“Fine,” Charles said, stamping his foot, “I might have said that he’s so hot that you’re no longer the most beautiful person at the precinct, Jake.”
Jake clasped his chest, a shocked intake of breath filling the air.
“How dare you, Charles. And I thought we were friends.”
“I know, Jake,” Charles whined, “I’m so sorry, I really am.”
He tried to catch a glimpse of the man everyone around seemed to be so charmed by, but from where he was standing, he could only spot a man with wild brown curls with a cut above his eyebrow.
“So, what do we have on them?”
Rosa, who had joined them and was now leaning back against Gina’s desk, gave him the update.
“They were picked up two blocks from here, because they had gotten into a fight in front of their students. We’ve held them in custody for…” she glanced at her watch, “45 minutes now, they’ve both declined an attorney and neither wanted to comment on what happened, yet.”
“Yeah, yeah, skip the rambling. You think the blondie is hot, too?”
Rosa shrugged, “I like his clothes.”
“Fine,” he replied, maybe a little too sulky, “I’ll get them talking. He can’t possibly be that hot. He probably has a really nasty British accent, anyway.”
“How nasty? I’ve made a ranking of British accents, with a Birmingham accent marking the bottom of the pile in all three categories, such as mouthfeel, trustworthiness - …”
“Not now, Charles!” everyone called out in unison, making Boyle shut up.
Jake, on the other hand, was already making his way towards the cell, mentally debating which Die Hard quote would intimidate the tourist professors the most.
However, when he eventually opened the door, you are about to have a very bad day already on the tip of his tongue, the words died in his throat the second his gaze fell onto the man sitting right across from him now.
“Damn it, Charles,” he whispered, eyes roaming over the guy’s figure.
He was wearing a dark suit with a dark green button down underneath, along with something that looked like a black cape. It was all very goth but not really and he could see why Rosa liked the style. But it weren’t the man’s clothes that made him understand what the rest of the team had been talking about, it was rather the fact that his bone structure seemed to be carved by God himself. Cheekbones sharp, lips and eyebrows curved in perfect symmetry, eyes bright and attentive, it was almost intimidating how pretty the guy was. And not even his split bottom lip changed anything about that; if only, it just added to the experience.
Jake felt the sudden need to restart his brain, like the Sarge had taught Amy back in the days when she had tried to quit smoking, and a bucket full of ice water would certainly help now. Although his body felt frozen already.
However, the most beautiful man he’d ever laid his eyes on, seemed to be annoyed by even having to look at Jake, which made the detective swallow hard.
“You,” he pointed at the blonde and then at his curly-haired companion, “and you, I need you to come with me.”
Neither of them was still handcuffed and the two of them followed him without a word. Jake didn’t miss blondie shooting the other one a dark glance, though. As the two of them wouldn’t be charged by the legal ways of prosecution, and it was more about whether or not one of them wanted to press civil charges against the other one, Jake didn’t take them to the interrogation room but made them sat down in front of his desk, where he leaned back into his seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
The blond one was still glaring at him, and the intense stare in his eyes made shivers run down Jake’s spine – and not in a good way.
The other man – while a certain amount of angriness was radiating from him as well – looked more embarrassed than anything else, his face growing red while he was hastily shoving dark curls out of his face, tipping against the bridge of his glasses with his fingers.
“Would you stop fidgeting, Potter,” the blond growled and Jake took a note.
“So his name is Potter. What’s yours?”
He was met with a challengingly stubborn glance.
“Draco Malfoy. My name is Draco Malfoy.”
Jake snorted.
“Yes, and my name is Jacobey Peraltoy.”
“Potter, I do not understand why we have to endure this ridiculous excuse of an auror,” the Draco guy hissed and Potter’s face only seemed to grow a little redder, if that was even possible.
“Please ignore my colleague,” Potter gave him an apologetic smile, “he never thinks before he speaks.”
Malfoy inhaled sharply and Jake’s gaze wandered back and forth between the two of them.
“Potter, why don’t you tell me what exactly is the reason why the officers had to arrest you?”
“Harry. You can call me Harry.”
Jake wrote that down as well, looking up from the file on his desk.
“What brought you to New York?”
“We’re teachers and on a school trip with a group of students.”
“And where are you from, did you say?”
Potter shook Malfoy a subtle glance that wasn’t-so-subtle after all.
“We teach at a school in Scotland.”
“Scotland?” Jake couldn’t hold back another snort, “everyone knows that’s not a real country. Where do you go on holiday? Neverland?”
“What?” Malfoy asked, gaping a little, sending another incredulous glance into Potter’s direction.
“Excuse me, detective. But Scotland is a… a very real country,” Potter frowned and Jake cursed the day he had helped Gina study for her geography test.
“Okay, so let’s cut the crap. Does one of you want to press charges against the other?” he pointed at Malfoy’s split lip and the cut above Potter’s left eyebrow.
The two professors shot each other dark glances before they eventually shook their heads.
“Good. Less paper work for me that means. However, I need to fill out this form. And for that, I need you to reconstruct the scene for me. See this little box? It wants me to fill in the motive behind the incident.”
“The motive?”
“The reason why you punched each other and could only be separated by force,” Jake explained, “plus, you’re with a group of students. I can’t release you before I’m not sure that you’re no threat to yourselves or your students.”
“Well, ask him. He’s the one that punched me first. I was only defending myself,” Malfoy said in a low voice and didn’t spare Potter a glance, who only grew more flustered with each second that passed by.
“Is that what happened, Harry?” Jake asked.
“I’d rather not comment on that,” the Brit replied and Jake frowned. Something in the back of his head seemed to register something. He couldn’t put a finger on it yet, but he had worked on enough cases so far to know when a case was taking an interesting turn. Something about this scene screamed SECRET to him and he needed to figure out what it was.
He narrowed his eyes.
He’d have to be clever about this.
“I’ll be right back!” he declared and got up from his desk.
5 minutes later, he had gathered the rest of the team in Captain Holt’s office, briefing them on the latest developments.
“I just know there’s more to this. Maybe they are involved with the mafia, after all. That Draco-guy is one scary dude, I’m telling you.”
“Jake, you should be helping me with the taskforce right now, not solve a British riddle,” Rosa commented and found Holt’s approval.
“Diaz is right, Peralta. I think you’re putting too much energy into this case.”
“But guys, when has my detective sense ever been wrong?”
Before anyone could say anything, Jake raised a hand to shut them up, “Yeah, not a good thing to say. However, I know I’m a fairly good detective and I know there’s more to this case. So who’s willing to investigate with me? Maybe there’s CCTV footage.”
“You can count on me, Jake,” Charles said and Jake gave him a high five.
“Anyone else?”
Gina cleared her throat and stepped forward, arms crossed in front of her chest, “You know, I’ve solved the case like an hour ago.”
“You what?”
“Mh,” Gina said, shrugging her shoulders.
“No way, Gina. You didn’t even talk to them.”
“I didn’t have to.”
Jake snorted, “Yeah, sure. You can’t solve a case without even speaking to any of the suspects.”
“I can and I did. You just can’t admit that I’m the better detective and that I could replace all of you, if I wanted to.”
“That’s ridiculous!” Amy commented and Gina simply shrugged her shoulders another time.
“Come to me once you’re willing to get off your high horse, Jake. Until then, no one talk to me. I’m planning my presidential campaign.”
She left the room without another word, leaving the rest of the 99 team in somewhat stunned silence.
“Okay, guys. Let’s bring in the big guns.”
“The big guns?” Amy asked, sounding equally sceptical and worried.
“Exactly. We’re taking this to the interrogation room. We’re taking turns questioning them.”
“You have no right to handcuff us to this table! We’re not pressing charges against eachother, you’re supposed to let us go now!” Harry called out, from where he was sitting next to Draco Malfoy, pulling on the chains to make his point.
“Well, we’re considering doing so now. Which means that we have 24 hours to question you,” Jake said, unimpressed by the Brit’s outrage.
“What for?!”
“Indecent behaviour,” Rosa said, who had taken the seat next to Jake.
Draco, who hadn’t said a word since they had brought the two of them into the room, kept shooting the detectives death stares.
“Muggles,” he cursed, “I swear to you, Potter, we should just - …”
“We’re role models, Draco! We can’t go around and… and… we’re trying to make our students more sensible for the muggle world, we can’t just - … oh, you know exactly what I mean!”
“Wait,” Jake chimed in, “what are you talking about?”
“Nothing,” Draco hissed, bright eyes burning holes into Jake’s skin, “but Merlin, Potter, if - …”
“If your father heard about this?” Potter proposed, voice dripping with sarcasm, and Jake thought he could see a vein pulsing on Malfoy’s temple.
“Leave my father out of this.”
“Fathers. Interesting,” Rosa said, making it clear that she actually thought the opposite, “now back to your fight. Potter, Malfoy said you punched him first. What did he do?”
Potter let out a sigh, pulling on the chains once again.
“He was being Malfoy!” he then said, as if that explained all of it.
Maybe it did.
Malfoy seemed like a very punch-able guy.
Or maybe he wanted Malfoy to punch him.
Jake shook his head, making a mental note to deal with confusing questioning-his-sexuality-thoughts another time.
Rosa seemed to agree with his train of thoughts, for her gaze was wandering over Malfoy’s figure, “Copy that. We need a little bit more specific reason for our files, though.”
“We’re on a class trip! And he had plans for lunch.”
“We gave our students some free time, Potter. Which meant that we had some time on our hands as well. And the last time I checked, an adult has the right to make plans for lunch without always checking with their colleagues.”
“Wait,” Jake said, feeling both confused and also like they had finally picked up a hint, “you punched Malfoy because he made plans for lunch without coordinating it with you?”
Potter shot the other professor a dark look before his gaze settled on the detective.
“What if there had been an emergency among the students? He didn’t even tell me where he went, I wouldn’t have been able to apparate there in time!”
“Apparate?”
“Ugh, it doesn’t matter, anyway. Malfoy’s a dick that thinks of himself first and exclusively.”
“Whoa,” Rosa made, but Jake could see the corners of his lips twitching in amusement.
“You’re one to talk, Potter! I couldn’t even say goodbye to my friend because as soon as you got me out of that restaurant, you punched me in the face!”
“I -…” Potter started, as if to say something in his defence, but either he couldn’t come up with anything or he didn’t bother trying, so instead he cursed under his breath and kept staring at the other teacher angrily.
“You know what, Malfoy? You’re a git. A selfish, thoughtless git who hasn’t changed one bit in all these years. You don’t understand anything, do you?”
The line of Malfoy’s mouth hardened, his lips forming a thin line.
“I do understand, Potter, that you’re an ill-tempered bastard who will never be able to -…”
“Okay, I’m gonna stop you right there,” Jake said, ignoring another one of these death stares that was coming his way, “Potter, you’re hiding something, and I will not let any of you go before we haven’t figured out what it is.”
“I’m hiding something?” Potter was outraged, “why don’t you ask him what he’s hiding? The fact that he’s using a school trip to meet up with a date, that is!”
“My private life is of no concern to you! I can go on a date whenever I please, it’s not like you’d care!”
“Damn it, Malfoy, it is very much a concern of mine when you disappear to go on a date without even leaving a note! I had to look for you everywhere!”
The two of them kept bickering, exchanging curses and snarky replies, while Rosa leaned into Jake’s space, raising an eyebrow.
“Jake, these are two idiots that fight over anything and everything. I see no point in further investigating this. Whatever ‘secret’ you’re trying to unveil, it’s of no legal interest.”
Jake was well aware that Rosa was probably right about this one, but he just couldn’t let them go just yet, not before he had fully understood what exactly it was that was going on.
He knew that there was more to this story, he just knew it. And he was good enough a cop to eventually get them to spit it out. But he also knew that he couldn’t make the others focus on this case forever.
“Fine,” he eventually said, getting up, “I’ll talk to Terry and Amy, see what they’ve got to offer on this.”
He then shot both Malfoy and Potter an intense glance, “I’ll be right back.”
The Sarge, Amy, Charles and even Captain Holt had gathered next door, having watched the interrogation through the one-way mirror, but none of them had anything to say that would have helped Jake with the case.
“Jake, I really don’t think that there is any more to this. They don’t like each other but have to work as colleagues – that’s the first impression I’ve got of them. Working with someone who’s always getting under your skin is creating a lot of tension. Terry knows what he’s talking about.”
Jake opened his mouth to argue with the Sarge on this, right when someone inside his brain clicked.
“What did you just say, Sarge?”
“It creates tension.”
“No, no! Before that!”
“It’s the first impression they gave me…?”
Jake’s eyes lit up, “That’s it! Terry, you solved the case!”
Five seconds later, Jake burst into the interrogation room, embarrassingly much out of breath for a 10 meters sprint, slamming his fist down on the table, which made both of the suspects jump in shock.
Jake smirked, leaning back in his seat, while he felt all eyes on him, including Rosa’s.
“Consider this case solved.”
“Case?” Potter asked.
“Solved?” Malfoy commented, “I wasn’t aware there was a case you had to solve, with both of us sitting here.”
Jake’s smirk grew wider.
“You know, I could now tell about how I’m such a good detective that I immediately smelled that there was more to this story buuuut I’ll keep this short an say that I’ve got the feeling that Potter, here, has a secret and it has been lifted.”
“A secret?” Potter repeated, but from the way his face was flushing red instantly, Jake knew that he was on the right track.
“I’ve wondered – what could have happened that a teacher of all people loses his temper this much and starts a fist fight with a colleague? Rosa, do you have any idea?”
But before Rosa could actually say anything, Jake’s fist came down on the table once again.
“Jealousy! Potter isn’t angry because Malfoy made plans on his own – it’s because it was a date! Potter, you are jealous. Because you’re in love with Draco.”
Potter’s face, which had been of a dark red seconds before, was now turning worryingly pale, while Malfoy’s head snapped around, jaw falling open.
“I-I’m not, I-…” Potter started stammering but Jake cut him off.
“The good news is, though, that Draco is also in love with you! Congratulations, idiots, it’s a match!”
Now it was Potter’s gaze that snapped around to face the other professor, eyes quickly roaming over Malfoy’s face.
“You… I… That can’t be right!” Potter stuttered, eyes growing wide, while Malfoy seemed like he had lost his ability to speak forever.
“We should, ehm, grant them some privacy, don’t you think?” Jake mumbled, which Rosa commented on with a disappointed “lame”, but she did follow him out of the room.
(Granting them privacy obviously didn’t mean that they couldn’t eavesdrop from the room next door).
“You’re in love with me?” Potter asked, green eyes still wide and all emotional, while Malfoy still hadn’t said a single word.
“Malfoy?” Potter said, trying to get a reaction from the other man, “D-Draco…?”
“Was he right?” Malfoy eventually whispered, quiet enough for the team to almost miss his words.
Potter seemed frozen, unsure what to reply to that, when Malfoy repeated his question another time.
“Was he right, Harry?”
“I… uhm… what if he was?”
“Merlin,” Malfoy said and made an attempt to hide his face away in his palms, which was abruptly stopped by the handcuffs he had apparently forgot about, “you’re an idiot, Potter.”
“I’m an idiot?” Potter repeated, and he sounded like he was ready to pick up a fight again, before his voice softened, “I’m an idiot… I shouldn’t have punched you.”
A small smirk started playing loose on Malfoy’s lips, “No, I liked that part.”
Potter let out a huff of breath and his next words were cut off when the Captain turned off the microphones, but it drew another soft smirk from the blond professor.
“How did you know, though?” Amy asked him a few hours later, once they’d released Potter and Malfoy from custody.
“Well, it was quite obvious, thinking about it. I should have realized what was going on when Potter mentioned that Malfoy was going on a date.”
“Yeah, but that wasn’t when you did, so what was it?”
“It was actually Terry. Remember when he told us about his first impression? I just couldn’t stop thinking about how Gina had said she’d already solved the case. And she had only gotten a first impression of these two as well.”
Amy followed his train of thoughts with interest, though seemingly confused.
“So what about it?”
“So there had to be something about first impressions that made Gina think she’d solved the case – and she’s actually been right all along.”
“I don’t get what you’re implying…”
“I know. But Terry’s words made me think of another time when Gina’s first impression hit the nail on his head.”
“I still don’t get it, Jake.”
“Oh, you will. Believe me. Remember Holt’s first date as a Captain?”
It was then that Amy’s eyes lit up with understanding.
