Work Text:
16th October
Chat: Fine Ass™
01.00
You up?
Not really
01.01
Got class ya know
Yeah in the morning
Which means I gotta sleep
01.03
It's past your bedtime anyway
01.04
I was picking up an outfit for tomorrow
01.05
Not that you needed to know
Getting presentable for the younglings?
Should I be jealous?
01.07
Considering I know how much you despise elbow patches I don't think so
01.09
I
I do not hate them
where did you get that absurd idea?
01.10
You always make a weird face whenever I wear a sweater so kinda followed through
01.15
Oh
Yeah
Okay
Great
Fine
Goodnight
01.17
You okay?
01.18
Goodnight.
Chat: Greatest Slytherins Ever
01.20
I have a problem
Huge one
Catastrophic
09.04
Pansy
Did Potter do something?
09.16
First of all
Wow
How nice of you all to respond
09.18
The crisis is over now, I'm chill
09.21
Pansy
You're never chill
Answer the fucking question.
09.22
Fine. Yes.
He did.
Pansy
Should I kill him?
09.23
Not at the moment
09.25
Theo
Boring
Blaise
What did he do this time?
09.27
Apparently the asshole isn't wearing sweaters around me cause he thinks I don't like them
Blaise
And that is bad because…?
09.28
Pansy
OH MY SWEET SUFFERING SALAZAR
IT'S ONE OF YOUR KINKS ISN'T IT!!!!
09.29
Theo
I don't wanna be part of this conversation anymore
@Theo has removed itself from the group
09.30
I'll get him back as soon as this crisis is averted
09.31
I have lived all those years without the glory of that sight!
Blaise
You do see him naked tho.
That's not the point
09.32
Pansy
I don't wanna know what the point is
09.33
Pansy
Have you tried telling him?
As if
09.35
Blaise
@Pansy what kind of fucked up question did you just ask?
Of course he didn't tell him
09.36
Blaise
The Primadonna never asks for shit
Drives me bloody nuts still
09.38
Nobody asked you
Blaise
You texted on the group, genio
Means you want our help
09.39
Blaise
Actually no
You need us
Cause you suck at communication
You're so great about it aren't you?
09.41
Blaise
May I remind you that I got with Nev before you even realized that you were into Harry for everything other than hatred?
Oh shut up
09.42
Schlongbottom was easier to woo than Potter
Blaise
Oh yeah cause the girl writing this isn't writing a rather long story about our sixth year and about me and Neville going from Enemies to Friends to Lovers and isn't planning to expand it to during and after the War pls don't kill me I'm working on it school is just hell.
Oh yeah
Definitely
09.44
Blaise
Cause he definitely knew I was gay and I definitely knew he was bi and we definitely weren't in different houses that hated each other and my friends hadn't definitely bullied him mercilessly for years and years
09.45
Exactly!
Blaise
Draco you little self-absorbed pezzo di merda di Gremlin
09.46
Pansy
Children please
Fuck off Parkinson
Pansy
You fuck off bitch
10.00
Pansy
I still think you should just tell him
10.03
I CAN'T
He thinks I hate them cause I always make a face
Whatever it means
10.20
Blaise
It means that you get real horny real fast
And never acknowledged it
10.27
Pansy
Start slow maybe
Bring it up
Cause he likes them and he really does look great on Lupin style sweaters
10.48
How the fuck would you know?
11.12
Pansy
I may or may have not gone with him and Long-ass shopping
11.13
...
Pansy
I know what the teens want!
And I also study bloody fashion
11.15
But I'm his boyfriend!
11.19
Blaise
Yeah but you also dress with sequins at least once a week
11.25
Did you know of this?
11.28
Blaise
Neville constantly wears nice sweaters
It's not news to me
11.29
Blaise
That fitted suit Pansy got him in on the other end
11.34
Pansy
Should I get him another one?
Blaise
Most definitely
11.37
We were talking about potter guys
11.38
Pansy
Yeah but Long-ass is also super hot
Blaise
I know!
Pansy
All that muscle
11.40
Pansy
Seriously if you two weren't together I'd try to take a bite out of that
11.42
Blaise
And I promise I'd kill you with my bare hands if you even looked at him too long :)
Chat: Fine Ass™
12.00
Class today was glorious
12.05
Glad you're enjoying yourself
Dude what's your deal?
Chat: Greatest Slytherins Ever
12.06
GUYS FOCUS
WHAT SHOULD I DO
12.09
Pansy
Perhaps stop being an idiot
Blaise
We're wizards but even our magic can't do miracles
12.10
Go to hell
Chat: Fine Ass™
12.10
Draco seriously what's up?
12.12
Nothing
I just miss you
I miss you too
But I'm coming back in two days
12.13
Yeah I know
12.15
I'll call you later, okay?
Deal.
Chat: Pansy
14.53
I may have found a solution to your problem
14.54
The current Potter situation
I'm not a psychiatrist so I can't help you with that fucked up mindset you got
15.00
Very funny
Considering we were raised similarly
Want my help or what?
15.03
What's your price?
15.08
You wound me
You don't trust one of your oldest friends?
15.10
I'd rather trust a sniffler not to steal all of my gold
15.14
Touchée
15.15
Anyhow
My cousin goes to Hogwarts currently
Fifth year Slytherin
You remember him
15.17
I really don't
But yeah and why is that important?
15.18
Cause now they are allowed to have phones dumbass
And?
15.19
Do I have to fucking spell it out for you???
15.20
He can get you pics of Saint Potter
In those sweaters you like so much
But are too ashamed to admit
…
15.22
Holy burning Salem
Wow
I'm speechless
15.25
I MADE YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP
I AM A GOD
BOW BEFORE ME YOU PEASANT
Chat: Greatest Slytherins Ever
15.26
@Theo has been added by @Pansy
Pansy
I rendered Draco speechless
15.27
Theo
Now that is a Dark Art
Guys go to hell
Chat: Pansy
15.30
Anyway
I'm sending him your number
15.31
Okay
Thanks
You still haven't told me your price
15.32
Let's just say you owe me one
Worst possible scenario ever
15.34
You want those pics or what?
Fine
I feel like I've just sold my soul to the Devil
15.35
Correct
Chat: Unknown
17.08
Words on the street you are looking for an insider at Hogwarts
17.10
You're Pansy's cousin?
Call me Park
17.11
What exactly do you need to be so secretive of?
Aren't you snogging professor Potter?
Not at the moment I am not
17.12
He's all up there in bloody Scotland
I'm willing to pay
A reasonable price though
17.13
Still haven't told me what you want
This has to remain a secret
If Potter found out he's never let me live it down
17.14
Are you kidding??
He's the chillest dude ever
17.15
Along with professor Longbottom they're the best!
First class for each year he got us chocolate
17.16
Sounds about right
He's always carrying chocolate
17.19
Anyway let's go down to business
What do you need?
17.20
Pictures and photos
Of him
During class or around Hogwarts
17.21
Points if he's wearing one of his hideous sweaters
17.23
You mean like the one with the elbow patches?
Precisely
17.24
That's tricky
17.25
I mean, sure we get WiFi and are allowed to use our phones
But he's like, super
He can hear and see everything
17.27
Two days ago he caught someone doodling and told us that we are allowed to do it freely without hiding
17.28
I know
He told me
17.29
But are you in or what?
17.30
What's the price?
Something reasonable
Chocolate frog?
Two
Deal
17.31
Imma start a secret organization for this
You can get us shit from the Muggle world
Reasonable
Like a book or something?
17.32
Fine
You're rich as fuck
17.35
How many are we talking about?
I don't know
At least two for week
17.36
Weekend?
No, unless I ask you to
17.38
I already know someone that might be able to give you one tomorrow
Two Chocolate frogs are fine by him
17.39
Great
I need to know more
Fourth year Slytherin
Happy now?
17.40
Very
Keep it low
Don't wanna him to suspect
17.41
Again, he's chill as fuck
He fucking killed Voldemort
Yea I know I was young but there
17.42
But that was in the past
I really can't imagine him in the War
17.43
A friend saw him and professor Longbottom baby talk a young thestral
How can your friend see thestrals?
17.45
Mind your own business
This is professional
18.00
You'll have your pic tomorrow
I'll send an owl with the objects as soon as I have it
18.01
It's been a pleasure doing business with you
Looking forward to our partnership
Likewise
Chat: Pansy
18.05
This is serious business
18.17
Yeah I thought him the trade well
18.20
Could tell
Chat: Granger
19.09
I want to go and watch the new B-list horror that they're showing at the cinema downtown next to the shopping centre
19.20
No
19.23
Why???
There is a C-list one at the theatre inside the Mall we usually go to
19.25
I hate admitting it
But you are a genius
19.30
I know
Chat: Fine Ass™
21.00
I'm gonna go get Teddy
Want to video call later?
21.02
yes
Tired
21.10
Wanna talk about it?
21.11
Yeah later, just get my godson home safely
You don't trust me??
21.13
as a rule I try not to trust Death Eaters
Oh yeah I see how it is
Whatever
21.30
Can we call you now?
Yup
Chat: Greatest Slytherins Ever
22.56
Theo
What are you gays doing tomorrow?
Blaise
Schifo
23.10
Why?
23.12
Theo
Wanna go to lunch?
Pansy
Dinner
23.15
Fine
Blaise
Sure
23.24
Theo
Okay we'll settle down later then
Night assholes
23.30
Bye jerks