Chapter Text
“Spider-man is a menace, he obviously doesn’t know what he’s doing. Instead, he just continues to cause more and more trouble for us. Now tell me, New York, is this what you want?”
Peter groaned. What a great way to start the morning. Why the people of New York wanted the obnoxious voice of J. Jonah Lameson broadcasted across the city, he didn’t know. He continued to glare at the offending man, yelling like the animal he was, projected on the large screen attached to the building in front of him.
“The damage he leaves for us to clean up, don’t we deserve any better?”
Peter sighed. Jameson had a point. He looked down at the mess created from the battle between him and the Trapster from where he was perched above. It wasn’t much to be fair, two cars were completely totalled and covered with the glue-like paste, although no one was hurt. Trapster himself was webbed on the wall of the building opposite to him, looking pretty pissed.
A small ‘ding’ interrupted Peter’s thoughts. He looked around for the source only to realize that it was only Karen alerting him that he was going to be late for school.
He muttered an “oh crap” and swung to the alleyway that hid his backpack. He quickly put on his clothes over the suit and took off his mask. Shouldering on his backpack he casually walked out of the alleyway, hoping to not cause any suspicions, and then made a run for it to school. Fortunately, the incident with Trapster occurred a few blocks away from Midtown, so he didn’t have to worry about catching a bus or anything.
He finally reached the front doors of the school and gave it a pull only to find it locked. He huffed in frustration. Great. Stupid glue stick, making him late for school and now Mr. Stark’s going to cut his patrol time short after giving him an earful and tell on him to May and- oh god he didn’t even think about what May would do-
“ Peter .”
Peter looked up in the direction of the voice and grinned when he saw Ned holding up a window for him. He climbed through the window and shot him a grateful smile.
“Thanks, dude.”
Ned just returned it with a half-hearted glare, “you’re just lucky that Mr. Palmer is late to class today, but you can’t keep doing this Peter! You cut it real close today!”
Peter sighed and looked around the classroom he climbed into filled with tired students. Either no one noticed his strange arrival into the room or they chose to ignore it. He was betting on the latter as it was kind of normal for students to sneak in the classroom past the bell in the most bizarre ways.
“I know Ned but,” he leaned closer and lowered his voice, “I had another Spider-man issue to deal with.”
“Really?” Ned exclaimed.
“Shh Ned,” Peter looked around for any suspicious glances but found absolutely no reaction from the students, “yea. It was the Trapster this time.”
Ned raised his eyebrows, “Woah again? I thought he was gonna be like a one-time thing.”
“Yea, I thought that too the past three times.”
Ned just snorted and was about to ask him something else but cut himself off when the teacher walked in. The whole class quickly settled in their seats. Peter groaned inwardly, he was still in a bad mood after J.J.J.’s verbal harassment and wasn’t looking forward to the rest of the day.
“Sorry I’m late guys, I was on my way to school but got stopped by this guy who was running around the street, destroying the place with a giant glue gun,” at some of the worried glances Mr. Palmer quickly replied, “but don’t worry, Spider-man came and stopped him right on time and-”
Peter smiled as Mr. Palmer told the story of how Spider-man ‘saved the day’ and watched the faces of the students lighting up at the mention of said hero. He felt a little nudge and looked to see Ned smirking at him. He just rolled his eyes and rested his head on his hands, still smiling. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all.
______________
When the bell finally rang, Peter gathered his books and quickly left his English classroom. It’s not that he hated English, it’s just that he very much disliked it. And besides, it’s lunchtime!
Peter began his walk to his locker so he can meet with Ned to go to the cafeteria. What caught his eye, however, was a brightly coloured poster that made him stop and turn to inspect it closer. You see, Peter Parker never really took the time to look at posters when he walked down the hall, mostly because none of them were really all that interesting. But this one really caught his interest because printed smack-dab in the middle of the piece of paper was a picture of him. Well, not him but his alter-ego.
Spider-man: The Musical!
Casting now!
“Peter! Hey, I was waiting for you at the locker, where’d you-”
Ned paused and turned to look at the sheet of paper his friend was glaring at. A few seconds passed before he burst into laughter while Peter just pouted at the boy next to him.
“It’s not funny, Ned.”
“You’re right,” Ned chuckled, “it’s hilarious.”
Peter watched as Ned continued to laugh at his misery when he spotted MJ walking by them.
“Hey MJ,” the boy said while Ned waved at her amused.
“Hey losers,” she greeted back and then paused once she noticed the poster, “Oh you guys saw the Spider-man thing?”
Peter huffed slightly and Ned replied, nudging the boy, “Yea! It's really cool! I wonder who thought of bringing that up as an idea for a play?”
“It was me,” the girl replied passively. The boys paused before Ned let out a loud snort. MJ raised an eyebrow in question at Peter but the boy wasn't paying any attention, instead, he turned back to the poster, effectively finding his friend's name.
Written by: Michelle Jones
“Yea, it’s an extra-credit thing,” MJ continued, “plus since Spider-man is practically our school’s mascot and everyone loves him, I bet that we’ll have a great audience.”
Peter had to agree with that. The school has been rooting for Spider-Man ever since the incident in DC, and a musical of Midtown’s favourite superhero would definitely be something people would come to watch. Even he was a little interested in watching it, especially since MJ wrote it. (He’s only saying that because he knows MJ is a good writer and not because he has a crush on her or anything). ;)
Peter turned to MJ and asked, “So who's signed up so far?”
“A lot of people surprisingly,” the girl answered, “We got a lot of students signing up for the role of Spider-man. Flash was the first to sign up.”
Ned, who was in a laughing fit in the background, started laughing harder at that, his face turning bright red. MJ looked at him slightly annoyed while Peter tried to process the information.
Flash was going for the role of Spider-man.
Flash Thompson!
Peter briefly wondered if the whole world was against him before simply realizing that he had Parker luck™ and this is just normal. But Flash Thompson? The guy looks at Peter like he’s a piece of gum that got stuck under his shoe like he’s just a huge inconvenience in his life. And now he’s auditioning for the role of Spider-man?
“So Peter,” the boy snapped his attention to MJ at the sound of his name, “are you gonna audition?”
“Wh-what? Audition as Spider-man?” Peter stuttered, “but I’m nothing like him! Like nowhere close, like he’s way taller than me. Also, did you notice that he has a New York accent and I definitely do not, so we are nothing alike! I don’t know why you would think that I-”
“I was thinking you should just audition for the role of a bystander,” MJ said, effectively stopping Peter’s rant, “I don’t think you should go for Spider-man.”
The boy furrowed his eyebrows at that, a little offended. “Why not?”
MJ just rolled her eyes, “because Flash has his eyes dead set on that role and I don’t think you should- wait- you know what? Go for Spider-man.”
MJ smirked as Peter spluttered, “wha- I thought you said I shouldn’t go for it just two seconds ago! What happened?”
“I think it would be funny,” MJ replied, taking out her pen and signing Peter’s name on the long list of applicants for Spider-man. “I’m rooting for you.”
With that MJ walked away, leaving Peter standing there with Ned who was still trying to recover from his laughing fit which progressively got worse during their conversation.
“No no no, Ned this is not good!” Peter whined once she was gone, “when I get the role of Spider-man-”
“-if.”
“-people are gonna find out who I actually am.” Peter continued, ignoring Ned’s input. “Okay, fine. I am not going to audition. I’m going to MJ and tell her straight up that I refuse to audition for the role of Spider-man and I’m not gonna back down no matter how scary she is or how she could probably rip me apart without glancing away from her book or-”
“The audition’s tomorrow at 5.”
“Thanks.”
___________________
“Hey Mr. Stark,” Peter gave a little wave to the man, making his way into the kitchen to grab a bowl of Frosted Flakes.
“Hey, kid. How was school?” Tony asked from where he was seated at the couch, sipping his 34th coffee that day.
“Boring, as per usual,” Peter replied while rummaging through the cupboards, “Hey, where are all the bowls?”
“Friday notified me two hours ago that Clint stuffed them all in a bag and left the building with it.”
Peter paused at that and turned to the man, “and you’re not concerned?”
Tony shrugged, “I learnt a while back not to question his actions. It’s honestly a waste of time, so just use a mug and come join me already.”
Peter rolled his eyes and went to get his food. Once he sat down with his mug of cereal, he turned and faced his mentor.
“How was your day?”
“Eh, boring as well,” the man replied, “paperwork, waiting to work on the suit until you got here and I almost snapped because of it. Do you really need to go to school for seven whole hours?”
The boy snorted, “Mr. Stark, are you encouraging me to skip school?”
“No,” Tony rolled his eyes and reached out to ruffle Peter’s hair. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
Peter just shrugged and continued to eat his cereal, “it was worth a try.”
Tony shook his head, “well, getting back to school, you sure there’s nothing interesting you want to tell me?”
Peter shook his head, “no,” and continued to munch on his cereal.
“Really? Are you sure there is absolutely nothing you need to tell me about?”
Peter paused at that. Mr. Stark was using his ‘you’re in trouble, young man’ voice and he had no idea what he even di- Wait. The boy turned and faced his mentor’s stern face. He knows. He knows about the play!
“Oh my god, Mr. Stark, I swear I didn’t want to audition for the role of Spider-man because I know it’s risky but MJ signed me up and she wrote the play and our whole school is in a Spider-man craze so she said it’ll be a great turnout and-”
“Woah kid, slow down,” the man said, taking the mug out of Peter’s shaking hands so it won’t spill, “take a breath, kiddo.”
Tony made sure the kid was okay before leaning back on the couch with a smug smile, “see I was talking about the little fight Spider-man was in before school started which broke a little rule we had. And I was gonna briefly lecture you on it but that can wait. What is this about a play?”
Oh. Oh no. He was talking about the Trapster. Of course, he was talking about the Trapster, how the heck would he even know about the play? Peter silently cursed his Parker luck™ and just wished that the ground would just swallow him whole.
“Oh wait, is this the play that your school tweeted out?” Tony asked, reaching for his phone.
“You follow our school’s twitter?” Peter asked before pausing and muttering to himself, “our school has twitter?”
“Well I don’t but my alias, Robert Parker, your other emergency contact, does,” Tony said, scrolling through his phone, “and yes your school does have a twitter account. Where do you think we got those school pictures of yours to hang up around here?”
“I thought you got them from May,” Peter squawked, “and why would you pick the most embarrassing ones to put up?”
“Oh, I didn’t put them up. Sam and Bucky did,” Tony said, rolling his eyes when Peter smashed his face into one of the couch pillows and let out a muffled groan.
“Oh, here it is!” Tony grinned, “Midtown is hosting a play of the most beloved hero in all of Queens, Spider-man! Come see Spider-man: The Musical, written by our very own student, Michelle Jones- wait isn’t that your friend?”
Peter muttered out a ‘yes’, his face still buried in the pillows.
“Cheer up, Spider-baby,” Tony said while patting the boy’s back in sympathy, “this isn’t the worst thing you’ve faced.”
Peter opened his mouth to retort but was interrupted by Steve walking into the room, followed by the rest of the goddamn avengers.
“What’s not the worst thing Peter’s faced?” Steve asked, taking a seat on the armchair next to them while the rest of the group situated themselves around the two of them. Great.
“Uh.. nothing!” Peter replied, hoping that it would work and no one would further question it, but of course, his Parker luck™ couldn’t let him get away with it.
“Okay…” Steve said while raising an eyebrow at Tony, who rolled his eyes at Peter and proceeded to tell them about the play like the traitor he was.
“Spider-boy’s in a play?” Sam grinned, turning to look at Bucky who had the same expression and Peter knew at that moment that there was no way he was going to get his dignity back. Natasha must have taken pity on Peter by the miserable look on his face as she elbowed both of them in the ribs.
“I think it’s great Peter,” Natasha said, smiling gently at him, “it’s something new and who knows, maybe you’ll gain a new interest.”
“Although,” Steve cleared his throat, “it is kind of risky for Spider-Man to audition for the role of Spider-Man, don’t you think?”
Everyone turned to look at the man, pondering on that.
“There’s a high chance someone would make the connection when they see Peter in the suit,” Steve continued, “especially since some kids have seen Spider-Man up close during the whole trip to DC.”
“Captain’s right!” Peter exclaimed, standing up so quickly that Tony flinched, “it would be stupid for me to do so as there is a chance that my identity could be revealed and you know that would result in a lot of paperwork if it does happen. So we should all listen to the great Captain America, all hail our lord and saviour-”
“If that’s the case, shouldn’t those kids have recognized Peter’s voice when he was in the suit?” Clint questioned, “since he spends almost three days a week with the team, don’t you think they should’ve picked it up?”
Natasha rolled her eyes, “the kids aren’t trained spies like us, Clint. Weren’t they in danger while you were there, Peter?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Then, the adrenaline must have gotten to them,” the woman continued, “besides, everyone was so focused on surviving that making the connection between Peter and Spider-Man should have been the farthest thing on their minds.”
Steve nodded and turned to Peter, “have you met with anyone in school in person before or after that incident as Spider-Man?”
Peter thought for a moment, trying to recall if he ever did so during his patrols, and shook his head.
“We should install a voice modifier in your suit, kid,” Tony spoke up, “honestly, I can’t believe I didn’t put it in when I first gave it to you, considering your secret identity.”
“Alright then,” Steve smiled, “as long as Peter’s not wearing his suit and uses the voice modifier on patrol from now onwards, I don’t see a problem with him auditioning.”
Wait, What? Peter was so concentrated on making sure that his identity was still safe that he completely forgot it was the only thing saving him from this audition.
“No!” Peter cried, collapsing back onto the couch, causing Tony to flinch again, “you were my last hope, Mr. Rogers.”
“You’ll be fine, kid,” Tony said, putting an arm around the kid, “besides, like Nat said, you might actually enjoy it.”
“Okay,” the boy huffed, “but if people find out, remember this moment and remember that all of you allowed this.”
Everyone nodded in agreement with amused looks.
“I doubt anyone would figure it out though,” Sam spoke up, “I mean people are pretty oblivious to things nowadays.”
Bucky hummed, “besides you look nothing like Spider-man.”
Peter scoffed at that, “wh-what do you mean? I am Spider-man!”
“No,” Bucky shook his head, “see that doesn’t sound right. Try it with a new-york accent.”
Peter sighed but did so nonetheless. “I am Spider-man.”
“No, it’s still not right. Sam, you say it.”
“I am Spider-man.”
“Ah, there we go!” Bucky smiled, pointing at Sam.
“But-what- he’s not- I,” Peter let out a huge groan, ignoring everyone’s amused grins and smashed his face back into the pillows.
“Alright, knock it off you two,” Tony said, carding his fingers through Peter’s hair to bring some comfort.
The two men backed off and the conversation immediately switched to the topic of choosing a movie to watch. In the end, they decided on just watching a few episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Steve got up to go make popcorn to snack on while Bucky and Sam went hunting for some blankets.
“Uh, guys?” Steve called out while looking through the cabinets, “where are all the bowls?”
“I don’t know, Cap,” Clint smirked, resting his feet on Natasha’s lap only for them to be smacked away.
“He’s lying, he has them somewhere,” Tony sighed, “I swear if they’re in the vents, Clint-”
“-I’m not lying!” Clint exclaimed, “but the weather looks pretty muggy today, huh?”
…
“Oh shit.”
“How do you even mess that up?”
“Good Lord, that’s a lot of bowls.”
“Are they all out in the fiel- Oh my god they are. Well, maybe if you go now, you can get them all before it starts rain- and it’s raining.”
…
“Damn it, Clint!”