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RKSmileHundred

Summary:

Gavin Reed is funny. (No he's not)
He knows it. (He believes it)
Everybody knows it. (They don't believe it)
And that's a fact. (A myth)
He can absolutely prove it. (Wait...)
The only plausible way to do it? (Please no...)
By making the stone cold android with the weird eyes laugh. (Oh god)

But seriously, what is up with those eyes?

Notes:

omg omg omg omg happy birthday/activation day RK900 the 40-second-screen-time-robo-boi!! if i love gavin reed with all my rat heart, then i love you with all my... robot heart... my robeart... this isn't a bday fic- more like a dedication. yes. i love you, nines baby

i had a really hard time working on this fic (mostly because i suck at describing stuff hehe) but i had loads of fun and and im so happy i got it done right in time for nines' bday. at least, i think i got it done on time. i keep mixing up nines' bday in my head. is it 11/11 or 11/12? i don't know anymore. if it's 11/11 then i got both gavin's bday dedicated fic and nines' bday dedicated fic a day late hahaha. i like that.

anyway, enjoy this fic.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“You’re pathetic.”

“And you have no sense of humour,” Gavin retorted back, loudly. So what? The break room was empty. Their co-workers generally chose to eat outside when it was their lunch break. Honestly, the two cops seated at their usual table should’ve done the same. The abomination that filled each of their mugs supported that idea. Seriously, who in their right mind would call this piece of shit coffee? Office coffeemakers are a disgrace. Gavin took a sip. Disgusting. He took another sip.

Setting the mug on the table, Gavin glared at the other officer. “It was funny.”

“Sweetheart,” Tina began, taking a sip from her own cup. “No.”

“Oh, come on, Chen. ‘What do you call the execution for coffee?’ Decafi-“

“Gavin, you’re not funny.”

The man frowned at his friend’s unimpressed stare. Tina’s eyes, the shade of an old oak tree, were drilling into Gavin’s, the hue of the leaves growing from said oak tree. So, Gavin glared back again. After a few seconds of the sneering battle, Tina broke the silence, her voice blurring the line between motherly and mockery.

“Gavin, how many times do I have to say this- You are not funny.

Gavin huffed, “I am.” He brought his mug to his lips. ”I can prove it.”

“How?”

Gavin paused. She’s right. How the hell is he going to get evidence? Well. He’s a fucking detective. He can surely figure this shit out.

He looked around the break room, searching for an answer. His eyes landed on the fridge, then the vending machine, dirty dishes in the sink, the sad excuse for a coffeemaker, the android standing at the entrance of the room-

“Detective Reed.”

The two cops jumped in surprise, with Gavin accidentally banging his elbow on the table and Tina almost spilling coffee on herself.

The atmosphere shifted when all eyes fell upon the stoic RK900, his blue LED spinning on his temple. The android’s posture was as rigid as a pillar, his hands tucked neatly behind his back and his feet firmly planted on the floor. His face was, as always, a blank slate. An empty canvas. It was to be considered intimidating, but Gavin was already used to his partner’s expressionlessness. The guy always had a stick up his ass. He was also used to the eyes boring holes into his head. They were eyes that wrapped up the whole lacklustre vibe of the android in a disgustingly red bow with a tag that says ‘No Return, No Exchange’. They were eyes that matched a rock Gavin wanted to bash into his chassis from time to time, eyes that reminded Gavin of an upcoming rainstorm. They were lifeless.

If the eyes were the windows to a soul, then RK900 had his curtains shut.

“Officer Chen,” RK900 greeted with a respectful bow of the head. Tina responded with a small nod of her own. The android then announced, monotone as ever, “The allotted time for your lunch break has ended, Detective Reed. It is time for you to return to your desk and continue reading the reports I had sent you.”

Gavin didn’t even try to stop himself from rolling his eyes, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be right there.” He gave a nonchalant wave, which the android took as his cue to leave.

Gavin watched as his partner walked away. God damn, even his walk was stiff. Sometimes, he forgets that the android was even a deviant. The fucker was too machine-like.

Once RK900 was gone, Tina took a sip from her cup and sighed. “Not gonna lie, Gav, but Terminator could make the actual Terminator weep.” She whispered.

Gavin hummed, finishing his own drink and preparing himself to stand.

“It’s the face, man. It’s just so empty and cold and…” Tina shuddered. “See, his face is so cold, I get cold- It’s the lack of emotion.”

Gavin stopped in the middle of getting up. Ding ding ding. Thank you, Thomas Edison, for the light bulb that birthed the idea that has popped into Gavin’s mind. He dropped back into his seat and slammed his hands on the table. His eyes were wide and his mouth was a smirk as he stared at his friend.

“Tina,” Gavin began, “I can prove that I’m funny as shit.”

“Well, you are shit-“

“I’m gonna make the Ice Queen laugh.”

Tina exhaled, “Almost got me there.” When Gavin’s face did not contort, her eyes widened as she almost dropped her mug. She began softly thumping the table, “No, no, no. Gavin, that is suicide-“

“I’m gonna do it-“

“No, no, no, no-“

“I will-“

“No, no, no-“

The two continued talking over each other. One was repeating the same phrase over and over again while the other just spat words of self-encouragement.

After a few more ‘arguing’, Gavin stood and thumped his own fists on the table. “Hey, hey, shut up.”

Tina eventually quieted down, but did not back down her pleading eyes. Those browns morphing from the hard oak wood into soft soil after rains, all irritation dissipated.

“If I were able to make the apathetic, stone-cold, poker faced ass military unit laugh…” Gavin breathed, his smirk growing. “Then, I would be considered to be funny as hell. Right?”

“Impossible.” Tina dropped her hands unto the table. “But, hypothetically…” She shrugged, looking around. “If you were to make an emotionless guy laugh, then I guess-“

“Great.” Gavin stood up. “See ya later, Tina.”

“Wait, Gav!” Tina tried grabbing him, but failed, for he was already walking away. “I said hypothetically! Hypothetically!!  Come back!”

“Sorry, Officer Chen! I got a latte work to do!”

“GAVIN, GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!”


Gavin’s mission began when he and the RK unit arrived at a crime scene. A corpse was found inside of a dumpster right behind a restaurant. While forensics were examining and other officers were keeping watch, the two approached the dumpster to get a good look at the body. Gavin grimaced as he caught sight of it. It was not a pretty sight at all. The body was dismantled, half of its parts were missing, and scorch marks were scattered in different areas. The smell was nauseating and Gavin wonders if he could have asked for three face masks instead of one.

Before he could even actually consider the thought, he loudly gagged as RK900 reached out to scrape his fingers on a splotch of red blood. The man then decided to look directly and only at the corpse to purposely avoid the android’s horrendous intention he’s sadly seen too many times. He will never get used to Nines fucking treating his fingers as if they were melting popsicles. As he stared and observed the corpse with his own eyes, a thought emerged.

“Plastic.”

The android didn’t respond, probably too busy analysing the data of the sample. His head was tilted a bit and he was slowly rubbing his fingertips together. RK900 seemed really into it. Gavin continued anyway.

“The guy is all right.”

RK900 stopped his motion, the air around them suddenly tense, and quickly shifted his attention unto Gavin. After a beat of silence and a glance between the living human and the dead one, the android spoke.

“Detective Reed, Jonas Baxter is deceased.”

“Yeah,” Gavin shrugged. He gestured to the body, “But he’s all right.”

Gavin used a finger to circle the corpse, emphasizing his point. The body of Jonas Baxter had all the left limbs chopped off, his right ones only remaining.

RK900 was silent. As his partner blankly stared at him with those steely eyes, Gavin understood what Tina meant about the trembling. The eyes that pierced into him were icicles pinpricking his skin. He could feel the tips penetrating into him, he tried to supress a shiver that ran up his spine. With the android not blinking at all, he couldn’t.

“Detective,” The RK900 finally, finally, spoke. “That’s disrespectful.”

Gavin blinked and opened his mouth. “I wa- I ju- I’m-“

“Excuse me, I’ve detected some traces of thirium by the back door.” And with that, RK900 left him alone, frozen and shamed for his stupendous eloquence.

Gavin snapped out of his state with a scoff, “Nice.” He crossed his arms, following his partner a few steps behind.

Of course this wouldn’t be an easy job.


Inside the bullpen the next day, Gavin was leaning back into his chair, working on coming up on some comedy gold while his partner was doing actual work on the desk opposite from his. Balancing a pencil in between his upper lip and nose, he looked at the android. RK900 was doing that weird android thing with all the recessed skin and telepathic shit with the terminal. Now, Gavin could actually tell he was really focused. He could see it in the glazy look in the eyes of the RK unit. It was distant, like a fog surrounding a lighthouse in the middle of the sea. The fog dissipated but retained its aura when RK900 snapped his eyes to Gavin.

“Yes?”

Gavin jumped, his pencil falling. Shit, he was caught staring. How long was he staring? Fuck fuck fuck.

While looking anywhere besides the android’s gaze, Gavin’s eyes fell upon the 9 marked on RK900’s jacket. Hm…

“Hey, Tin can.” Gavin adjusted himself on his seat, placing his elbows on his desk to get closer to the android. “I think” –He took a short side glance –“that Connor is more of a Terminator, between you two.”

RK900 hummed, “Why is that?”

“Because,” Gavin leaned back, bringing his arms up. “He’s a TerminEIGHTor!” He snapped his fingers into a finger gun, pointing at the 9 on RK900’s jacket for emphasis.

The tense atmosphere returned between them and Gavin thought he could feel his smile withering. The android was once again staring at him with literally nothing that could convey what he was feeling. Now, Gavin really felt his smile dissipating. The hand that was connected to the terminal was brought back and interlaced with its counterpart. A mouth rested on the interlaced fingers, an unnecessary sigh followed.

“What are you trying to do, Detective?”

Gavin dropped his hands and shrugged. “Nothing.”

“For once, I really wish for that to be actually happening.”

The comment caught Gavin off guard that he breath out an airy chuckle. Wait, shit. No. He wasn’t supposed to be laughing here. It was supposed to be Nines. Goddammit, he got uno reversed. Gavin faced away to cough out the leftover chortles. Focus focus. When he returned his attention to RK900, he caught a glimpse of something that once again caught him off guard.

The eyes that met his seemed different. Gavin couldn’t describe it. He couldn’t describe how and why this particular stare of RK900 seemed so unlike all the other looks he received from him. It was somehow less… intense? He didn’t know, but he was positive that the grey eyes he was so familiar with had an aura that wasn’t there before. Those eyes… the grey… grey-

RK900 blinked and looked away before Gavin could finish his train of thought. It made him realize that he was uncomfortably staring again. He silently cursed himself when he too averted his own eyes.

RK900’s LED spun as he stood up. “I’ve received an anonymous tip.”

They prepared to leave. Their gazes didn’t meet again.


The anonymous tip has led their investigation to an old apartment downtown, where they discovered that an android and a human accomplice were involved in their homicide situation. They had managed to arrest only one of the perpetrators, though. Mostly his fault, Gavin had to admit. A chase began when they arrived at the place. RK900 had gone for the android and Gavin went for the human. His partner succeeded in the chase, of course. Gavin, however, did not, for the human accomplice was rather more agile than he, thus being faster than Gavin. After a swift leap over a wired fence, Gavin lost the guy in a bustling crowd. He returned to his partner where they both decided that they would get information about the human from the android in cuffs.

That didn’t stop him from feeling pretty shit though. He knew he was athletic, but goddamn that guy was fast. What a fucking defeat was all Gavin could think in the car.

“You are not to be blamed for Hunter Rallison.” A voice spoke beside him.

Gavin blinked, surprised by the words. He wasn’t expecting assurance, from RK900 nonetheless. He stopped the car at a red light and glanced at the one beside him. RK900 was facing straight ahead, body rigid as always. He squinted suspiciously at the ‘droid. What was he up to?

He looked into RK900’s eyes, getting a feeling of déjà vu. The unexplainable aura was there again. The weird grey eyes were looking weirder than usual, as if they were… soft?

Well, colour him with cheap ass oil pastels but the greys kind of look-

A car honked behind them. The light had already turned green.

Cursing, Gavin set the car in motion. “Prick.”

He saw RK900 turn to look at him. “No,” Gavin exclaimed, gesturing to the back. “I’m talking about-“ He cut himself off and took a short look beside him. Now, those were the grey eyes he was familiar with. The ones filled with clear disappointment. “Whatever.”

RK900 turned away and the ride was silent once again. After a few minutes, Gavin smirked.

“Well,” Gavin said. “We know what the perp had for breakfast.”

“What would that be?”

“Fast food.”

He was met with, yet again, dead air. It made him wonder if the android even heard him. Which was ridiculous, of course he heard him.

“Hey. Tin can.”

No response.

“You malfunctioning or some shit?” He risked a glance to his side. No, the android was fine. Just staring ahead and sitting straight.

“Tin can. Plastic. Terminator. Queen Elsa. Dicktective. Nines. Hellooo?”

A few beats passed and before Gavin could utter another sound, RK900 whispered. “I was hoping that if I were silent, you would be as well.”

Gavin snorted. “Fuck you, as well.


Two days have passed and they found the human accomplice. Rather, they had found the corpse of the human accomplice. The body had a noose around the neck, limping mid-air in an abandoned apartment. It seemed that man couldn’t stand the idea of being caught, ending it here and now.

Gavin scrunched his nose a bit at the corpse, there was an odd pity lying in his gut. “Looks like this case is closed.”

Beside him, RK900 answered. “Indeed.”

Gavin looked at his partner, looked at how he was observing the stillness of the body. RK900 was as formal as ever, hands behind him, feet together, face impassive, eyes-

Eyes that matched the ashes that drop from Gavin’s cigarettes. Eyes that maybe blended with the smoke he puffs out. Eyes that met his own. Shit.

Pretending to cough turned into actually coughing. While beating his chest and avoiding RK900’s cool eyes, one of the forensics approached the scene. He had a camera with him. After taking a couple photos of the body, the forensic lowered the device and snorted.

“Well, he’s just hanging around.” He gestured to the corpse.

The two snapped their heads to the forensic. Gavin, jaw dropped, eyes squinted, eyebrows scrunched up together, could not believe the guy. That was the most cliché joke in the entire book of jokes. A disgrace. Awful. Terrible. Horrendous-

RK900 let out an amused sigh.

“What-“ Gavin uncrossed his arms and faced his partner who could apparently fucking smile what in the greatest fuck the android is actually fucking smiling. “What?!”

The forensic chuckled and bumped RK900 on the shoulder. Gavin, jaw still dropped, raised a finger to alternately point at the retreating form of the forensic and the android who was still fucking smiling. He was actually capable of doing that. Oh god, he’s smiling. It was really small, yes. Didn’t reach the eyes much- but it was fucking there, nonetheless.  

“What-“ He repeated for the third time. “What the fresh damn hell?!”

RK900 finally stopped smiling, Gavin felt something sink then bounce up in his chest. He chose to ignore the feeling, waving his hands at RK900. “What happened to the disrespect?!

The android had the nerve to roll his eyes. When he turned to leave, Gavin flailed to stand in his way. He widened his eyes as an attempt to threaten the taller male as he pointed an accusatory finger at him. “Nuh-uh, fuckaroo.”

Slightly bouncing on his heels in agitation, he growled, “Care to explain how the fucking hell you found that funny?!”

“Reports are needed to be written.” RK900 replied as he walked around Gavin.

“My ass-

“Goodbye, Detective Reed.”

“You cannot walk away from this!”

But he did.

Dammit.


A new case was assigned to them. After visiting the crime scene, the two detectives were in Gavin’s car, on their way back to the precinct. Stopping at a red light, Gavin exclaimed and snapped his fingers.

“Fuck.”

“What is it?” RK900 asked.

“I forgot the shoes Tina left at my place. I was supposed to bring it to her today but” -Gavin glanced at his partner- “they’re back at my place.”

RK900 tilted his head, “I assume we’re taking a detour.”

“Yeah.” Gavin nodded, already turning the car around to the direction of his residence. They were luckily nearby. “Bitch’ll kill me if she doesn’t get her crocs back.”

After a few minutes, they finally arrived to Gavin’s apartment. They parked, exited the car, and entered the building together. Once they reached Gavin’s door after climbing a set of stairs, Gavin sifted his pockets for his keys. The item was found and used to unlock the wooden door.

Upon opening the door, Gavin grimaced at the sight presented to him.

“Espurralda, you little fucking piece of shit.”

The human felt RK900 peek beside his head to look at how his devil child of a pet is simply seated atop the counter of the open kitchen with plates, glasses, picture frames, everything smashed and shattered on the floor. The cat didn’t seem to mind, of course. She continued to lick her paw as if things were fine. Things weren’t fine.

The demon spawn looked up and between the two. Her paw dropped down and before it could knock over a scented candle Gavin hasn’t seen in years, RK900 dashed past him and picked the cat up. Gavin entered his home and slammed the door, mumbling about getting a damn broom.  Once he was halfway across the threshold of an abomination, RK900 looked at the surroundings and whispered. He whispered so softly, Gavin almost missed it.

“What a catastrophe.”

The man halted mid-step. He blinked and spun around to stare at the android who was still keeping his gaze down. He opened his mouth and when nothing came out, he just left it like that as his eyes widened.

Oh my god. Oh my fucking god.

Gavin shook his head and placed his fingers on his temples, stepping back from the sheer amount of awe he felt.

“You have got to be kitten me.”

“Well,” RK900 finally looked at him. Was that a smirk? That was definitely a smirk. “This must have you feline fine.”

“Holy shit!” Gavin exclaimed, the fingers on his temples moving through his hair as a loud laugh escaped him. “Holy fucking shit- RK900 and cat puns?! Are you fur real?!”

“I assure you, Detective…” RK900 raised his chin a little. “This is purretty real.”

“Oh, you meowtherfucker.”

And there it came. A sound. A surreal sound that was very much real. It echoed from the apartment walls, to and fro. The sound was over the top, over the moon, over the fucking Virgo Supercluster. It was a sound that dripped honey, a sound that gently popped bubbles. It was like music that was transcendent to the ears, no matter how foreign. This sound had done stuff to Gavin’s stomach. It had goosebumps appear on his skin. It had his heart stuttering. This sound was a laugh.

And the laughter did not erupt from Gavin, absolutely not.

It had very much come from the being in front of him, for the other’s shoulders shook a tad bit and his eyes shone. His eyes. His not grey eyes.

No. The eyes he was seeing right now did not look like rocks to be thrown. They were gems, twinkling and reflecting. The eyes weren’t the clouds during a rainstorm, but were the skies on a sunny day. The prickling icicles melted and collided with the flowing ocean beneath the lighthouse. The eyes. The not grey eyes.

They were blue.

The curtains were spread wide open and the light shone through.

Life shone through.

Gavin was frozen to the spot, indeed. But the joyous laughter mixing with the captivating sapphires had him entrapped in a blanket of warmth. He couldn’t comprehend just how precious Nines looked, his wide grin reaching his eyes, making them squint and complement the dimples.

Gavin’s heart was beating faster and stronger. He could feel it. But again, he ignored the feeling. He rather focus on whatever the fucking hell is happening right now.

Sadly, whatever the fucking hell is happening right now ended too soon. It seemed that Gavin was quiet for too long. RK900 noticed this and abruptly cut his laughter off with an awkward cough that the human was sure influenced by him. He walked over to Gavin and handed his cat over to him, a little too stiffly.

“I…“ RK900 paused. “I can clean this up for you.” He proceeded to fetch the broom.

Gavin didn’t reply, he couldn’t. The beautiful sound was fucking gone and he missed it. He simply just stood there, frozen to the spot, as he watched RK900 sweep the mess into a dustpan in a manner that was very mechanical. The clinking of glass and sweeping of the broom were the only sounds occupying the atmosphere.

No, no. Bring back the honey dripping, bubble popping sound. Gavin doesn’t want this ear shredding clanking. RK900 should laugh again.

Wait.

The man was so busy pathetically wallowing that he completely overlooked one obvious fact. The fact that-

“You laughed.” Gavin huffed out a breath. He shook his head as he grinned so wide, it hurt his cheeks.

“Officer Chen’s shoes are over here,” RK900 replied, throwing the mess into a trash bin and gesturing to the paper bag beside it.

“No, no, no.” Gavin spun around, feeling giddy all of a sudden. “You fucking laughed, Nines. You laughed and it was all because of me-

“We’re leaving now.” RK900 set the broom and dustpan aside as he picked up the bag, making a beeline for the door.

“Nines! Nines!” Gavin set Espurralda down after kissing her goodbye. “Nines, wait! You fucking laughed because of me, oh my god!” He ran after android opening and exiting the door.

“You-“

“Shut up, Gavin.”


“-And it was a laugh, Chen. Like, a real fucking laugh. Not some lame ass exhale or a snort. No. It was a legit laugh- like- it bounced on the fucking walls,” Gavin explained to his friend as he sipped on his coffee. He grimaced. Yeah, the office coffee was still disgusting.

Tina hummed from her seat, lips pouting as she nodded. “Okay.” Her palm left her chin as she crossed her arms on the table and leaned forward, “Where’s your proof?”

“My what now?”

“Your proof,” Tina replied to Gavin’s dumb choice of words. “Y’know, when you wanna prove something… you gotta have proof.”

“Right,” Gavin said, avoiding eye contact with the woman as he took another sip from his mug. “I gotta have proof. Proof. Have. Proof.”

Tina squinted her eyes. “Gavin, you’re a fucking detective.”

Gavin scoffed as he shifted in his seat a little, “Yes I fucking am. I’m a detective. I get proof. Proof. Is what I get. Because I’m a detective. I’m a detective who gets proof.” The man emphasized each word by jabbing a finger on the table. His friend was not buying it at all. “Proof. I get those. I get. I have. Proof. Proof-“

“Say it one more time, I might just believe you.” Tina gave him her signature deadpanned look.

“Proof,” Gavin said, nodding to himself. “Proof. Pruh-oof. Purr-uh-oof.”

A giggle behind them made them jump for the second time that week. Tina almost slipped out of her chair and Gavin nearly flung his mug behind him. They simultaneously looked at the entrance of the break room to find an android very much smiling, those blue eyes twinkling as his shoulders moved up and down.

“Apologies,” RK900 said, fist coming to his lips as he calmed himself down. “Detective Reed, we have found a lead on the Merlin case. It would be much appreciated if you’d come back to your desk.”

Gavin didn’t answer, he simply just stared at the smile still visible on his partner.

“Uh, yeah. He’ll be there, big guy.” Tina answered for him, patting Gavin a bit too harshly on the back.

RK900 nodded. He excused himself. Mirth plastered unto his face as he walked away.

Fucker looked relaxed. Totally the opposite of the tense state Gavin was in as Tina nodded her head and looked at him.

 “Well.” The woman began hitting Gavin’s back again to bring him back to earth. “Would you look at that, Reed. You’re funny. Somehow.”

Gavin huffed, shaking his head a little and ignoring how he could practically hear his heart thumping. “Yeah. I am.” He looked at his friend as he stood up, “I made RK900 RKSmileHundred- Nope. No. That wasn’t-“

“That was terrible.”

“It was awful. I ruined it. I ruined it, didn’t I?”

“You did.”

“Yeah,” Gavin sighed. He looked at his half-filled mug a bit and walked away, “Coffee ya later, Tina.”

“Goddammit, Gavin.”

The detective snickered as he walked over to his desk. He passed his partner, seated at his own desk, who looked over him with that dear grin of his that definitely matched his gleaming blue eyes.

Gavin returned the smile.

Notes:

i would like to apologize for the terrible jokes made by gavin here.
it's actually my fault cause im the writer but shh gavin said them.

i just wanted to share that the idea of this fic (gavin trying to get nines to laugh and the cat puns) is the genesis of me making reed900 headcanons and falling deep deep deep into the rabbit hole.
i had this idea in my head for months and i had planned to write it down and post it on nines' bday.
and i did.
so thats great.

also, i wrote gavin’s bday dedicated fic in nines’ pov and nines’ bday dedicated fic in gavin’s pov. hehe

(btw i dont mean for this fic to say that grey eyes are ugly!! no they aint! they pretty as heck too. this was just how gavin saw nines' dead-ish eyes. i hope this fic doesnt come off as offensive. all eyes are great. except pink eye. those hurt.)

thanks for reading

happy birthday RK900!!