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Hands were fascinating, to put it simply. They came is different sizes and shapes. They were beautiful, regardless of size. There were feelings that rose to the surface when one got their hands held.
There was some level of trust involved in the simple point of contact between two people. A trust not to get hurt and/or to be lead in the right direction.
He wasn't a very picky person, really, as long as someone was willing to hold his hand, he was a very happy trooper.
But while on the topic, he would like to mention various favorites of his! Chubby, tiny, delicate, cute ones. Yes, he was directly referring to Jimin's hands. No shame when he did this in his head.
They felt so precious in his hold, sometimes he felt his heart flutter like butterfly wings when he held Jimin's hand. It was just a good feeling because Jimin was a warm person. His hold was warm too, so much comfort was enfolded in every single inch of Jimin's body it seemed surreal.
There were also hands hand ( ha! ) crafted by god, into masterpiece worth great appreciation. When he thought about it he'd never seen ones as pretty or delicate or more fascinating than his SeokSeok or Taehyungie's hands.
Their fingers were thin and delicate looking, their palms wide and the way they used their hands when talking was incredibly distracting. He was constantly reminded of how he wanted to have his hands held!
There were hands that were peculiar, crooked fingers, soft fingertips, delicate palm. Those hands were reassuring to hold, one of the most distinct and most comforting hands he's ever held. Seokjin was a symbol of strength where Yoongi felt like he lacked at times.
If ever he were to question if he were still going to be held steady he only had to read so far to hold Seokjin's hand in reassurance in a promise to himself that things were well or they will be.
There were also hands drenched in youth and calluses because someone just couldn't stop, not even for a minute. Those hands were used for working out, drawing, driving, pushing, wiping tears and holding hands.
Jungkook's hands were a reassurance all on their own because they were proof of a boy who grew into a man. Right under his watch, his love, his generously bought lamb skewers.
He remembers when these hands used to be smaller and softer when they used to grip so tight, the owner of these hands used to be so small, scared and anxious back then. But it has changed and it's a good feeling to hold a hand that's changed but the owner is the same and so in the grip, but now, it's just for different reasons.
Some were also just made to fit yours perfectly, sometimes. That exact type of hands belonged to one Kim Namjoon. They just felt like home in his own. They were sure, knew just how tight to hold on. Joonie's hands were the ones that had held his perhaps the most. They've lived together for 9 years now, of course he knew best, of course he was home.
Yoongi felt the safest when he held hands with Namjoon because it fit right. Not because there weren't any awkward spaces between their fingers. Or because they were just the right size or provided the most warmth on a cold night.
It was more rooted in emotions and sense of security than anything else. Namjoon just had this feeling of home about him, his warmth was unmatched, not because he loved him more than others, it was a feeling that just was.
(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)
It was nearing Christmas, the weather has progressively gotten colder to the point where Yoongi was forced to wear clothing that didn't really match his style. He was currently swaddled in 3 different sweaters. He looked a little like a kid, he would admit as he looked at himself in the car's window.
His cheeks were flushed and his hands were cold underneath his gloves. He sighed what a pity it was, to have Hoseok right beside him and his hand to still be cold and empty.
Really, it wasn't fair, and so he was going to have to change that, or well, at least try. He sighed again and turned to face his own personal battery, his little sun, the light to his dark days. It wasn't a surprising sight, he was busy typing away on his phone with earpods safely inserted in both ears.
He sighed again, what could he do to get his hand held but without saying it out loud. Hobi wasn't like Jimin, wouldn't just do it if he kept staring.
So he did what any sensible man at their big age of 26 would do, he coughed dramatically, knocked into SeokSeok and claimed to be Very Cold.
It did have a bit of his desired effect as Hobi took out his earpod and looked at him with a slight frown. He looked so cute, Yoongi could've squished him, but no, his goals were different. He needed to stay focused!
"Hyung.. What's up?"
"...I'm cold, my hands, they feel a bit numb."
"Ahhh, I told you to wear more layers! Didn't I!?"
"I am wearing three layers already."
"Okay, okay, here," Hoseok said as he reached out and grabbed Yoongi's hands and pushed one under his armpit and the other he clutches tightly in his hand. Perfect.
"Hyung, well have you warmed up in no time!" He smiled that brilliant, blinding smile and booped Yoongi's nose before getting back to using his phone. This time with only one earpod in.
Yoongi smiled, he felt happy, warm and fulfilled. Hand holding was just the best thing ever, best thing ever . He sighed again but this time in contentment.
(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)
Jimin was always an easy one, it was hot outside though and he didn't know how generous that little menace was feeling.
He got up from the couch regardless, determined to get his hand held, it was a want that he never could stomp out. He walked to Jimin and Hobi's shared room first, found it empty. Disappointed but not surprised.
He continued on with his quest, checked all the other rooms in the house but found no evidence of a cute little mochi.
He was about to give up, because it was almost too much effort to run around the house to get his hand held when he ran into his subject of curiosity.
He almost knocked the poor boy over as he was getting out of the bathroom, freshly showered and smelling like peaches. He reached out and grabbed both of Jimin's arms to keep him from falling. Jimin looked so startled, Yoongi almost laughed.
"Hyuuuung, watch where you're going!"
"Little menace, it's not like you don't deserve it for drenching my pillow with water last night."
"Who said that was me? Old age really made you slow."
"You aren't denying it, are you?"
"I am! I didn't do it, no nope no, no, no NO!"
"Yoongi-ah I love you very much, I would do something like this," Jimin tried to reason calmly, looking like a perfectly honest, perfectly innocent angel.
Yoongi saw how Jimin was clutching his hands too, clearly trying to get Yoongi distracted with hand holding to get away unscathed. It isn't like Yoongi really ever did anything anyway.
"Hmmm, so I thought the pillow felt really warm despite the water, whoever did it must've used warm water, how considerate.."
"WHAT? but I used cold wat-"
"-Park Jiminie what did you just say?"
Jimin's eyes were dramatically wide, mouth hanging open as he looked at Yoongi, clearly surprised at having been made to confess.
"Oh you know Hyung...haha I have to go now!" He tried to make a mad dash for his room but Yoongi held onto his hands tight to stop him from leaving.
"You know what Jimin, as punishment you're gonna stay with me for the entire day, I already know you don't have anything to do." Jimin tried protesting but didn't really put up a fight as he was dragged to the couch.
Jimin just ended up cuddling up to Yoongi with one of his hands clutched tight in his grasp to ensure he didn't run away, of course!
No one needed to know that he had gotten up with the plan to have his hand held by the tiny menace all along. It was a beautiful day, now that his hand wasn't empty anymore.
And Jimin's company wasn't half bad when he wasn't trying to test Yoongi's patience with guileful pranks and mockery. While he put up an innocent face when he was caught to weasel his way out of repercussions.
(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)
Jungkook was a real cutie when he wanted to be, and so Yoongi didn't have to put in any effort this time. He was sitting beside Jungkook watching him play Overwatch in his office.
He has no idea how him allowing Jungkook to know the password could lead to this. But it was nice, they were sitting side by side, the silence was nice and soothing. There was no strain or pressure to talk. They were just enjoying the silence and the game, of course, the game.
He was so cute when he was focused, Yoongi almost wanted to interrupt him to kiss his cheeks, almost. He refrained because this cutie was also very, very strong and could toss Yoongi out of his own studio if he so wanted.
The real surprise of the evening, though, was when Jungkook grabbed Yoongi's hand once he finished playing his game and refused to let go. Even as he moved aside and opened up the tabs Yoongi had previously been working on before he was disrupted.
Yoongi felt warm all over from the simple act of having his hand held by the maknae, without any prompting on his part. What a treat, what a day.
And if Yoongi spent the entire night editing his music files with Jungkook's hand over his on the mouse, it was nobody's business but his.
This was how Yoongi liked to end his nights, he pondered as he woke Jungkook up at 4 am to go back to the dorms to sleep in a bed.
No one mentioned it when Jungkook woke up in Yoongi's bed the next morning, hands still firmly joined.
(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)
Arguing with Taehyung was so easy. They've been arguing, God have they been arguing. It's so easy to argue with him.
It's a stupid, petty, ridiculous argument about where they should sit in the theater. Both of them wanted to go watch the same movie and so they divided to just go together. But now, this was just ridiculous.
There really wasn't anything that they couldn't or wouldn't argue about. Yoongi felt frustrated, he knew Taehyung was frustrated too. This was truly ridiculous.
"..and you never want to agree with me, Hyu-"
"Taehyung-ah," he gently interrupted "let's hold hands." He smiled and offered up his hand, which Taehyung took with a little smile.
Both their day got incrementally better with their usual solution to an argument. It was satisfying to know they loved each other more than they loved to argue. It was a good feeling to hold hands with someone you dearly loved.
He felt Taehyung's hand snugly fitted in his and felt his heart bloom in late winter night. It was a beautiful, euphoric feeling.
(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)
Seokjin was a God, truly. He had impeccable timing, he knew what was up before Yoongi could even open his mouth.
Today had just been one of those off days for him where nothing seems wrong at first glance but everything feel off-kilter anyway.
He's been avoiding people all day, refused to reply to texts and hasn't returned back to the dorms just so he didn't have to project his odd mood onto others.
Which is why it's a surprise to hear the doorbell for his studio to go off at 11 pm. He gets up regardless, aware that it could be anyone, including his boss. But the sight of Seokjin decked out in his cute pink RJ pyjamas wasn't one he was prepared for at all.
"Hyungie, what are you doing here?"
"I'm here to cheer up my lovely Yoongi-ah, of course! I felt it in my bones that there was something off."
"There's nothing off.." he whispered back and wasn't surprised when Seokjin took his voice up a pitch to mock him with his own words.
"Aish this Hy-" Yoongi never got a chance to finish his sentence before he was wrapped up securely in Seokjin's embrace. He felt positively surrounded, felt secure and warm.
He wrapped his arms around Seokjin's waist loosely in return because it was nice and he really did feel better already. He almost whined when the older man pulled away slightly but then found himself blushing as Seokjin kissed him on the forehead thrice.
"Three kisses for you little man."
"Why three?"
"Deserve." Yoongi didn't try to argue with that, obviously Seokjin didn't want to hear anything from the way he said that one word.
So Yoongi said nothing, instead buried himself deeper into his Hyung's arms and rested his head on his shoulder. Because he was reliable, always reliable and someone who would hold him up, when he couldn't do it for himself.
When they finally pulled back he wasn't surprised to feel Seokjin's hand slipping around his. Seokjin, afterall, was a brilliant, brilliant man.
Yoongi felt content as he was led away from his studio after Seokjin allowed him to close everything off one handed. The other securely held within his grasp. He followed Seokjin through the building and into the car.
They continued holding hands as they sat on the balcony until the sun rose and painted them in brilliant shades of dawn. A hopeful day where Yoongi was feeling warm and content, his hand securely held tying him to the real world. Not a single thing felt out of place, not at a single glance and not when looked at at length.
(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)
Yoongi felt pitiful, awful, terrible, disgusting, awful, bad, dull, weak, terrible, bad, bad, bad. That's how he felt, it was so unfair that he got sick.
He got sick the most amongst the members, well maybe beside Jimin but still, this was just awful. Awful. He had announced his suffering and not one of those fuckers had tried to hold his hand to make him feel better.
He always tried holding their hands when they were sick, he couldn't say they didn't care for or about him though. All the other six had been hovering over him on and off all day.
But what he wanted was a hand to hold and maybe one to run through his hair so maybe his head would finally stop trying to pound right out of his skull.
As it was though, he was quarantined away in his room, with food, water and tissues in abundance but alas no hands were left behind for his holding.
Yoongi wondered what he should do to extract his revenge for this cruel and unusual punishment. He honestly missed his home, where his mom was, so safe, so warm, so nice.
She always held his hand and ran her fingers through his hair, allowed him to snuggle close into her lap. Allowed him to wiggle away and close again as many times as he needed because when he was sick he was easily overwhelmed. With being touched and without it.
He pondered over the pros and cons of trying to get up when the floor felt like it was made of water, coming in and crashing into the bed, then receding only to come back again. He was a lone captain in an abandoned ship, far away from home.
He wondered what it would feel like if he stood up right then, would he know up from down? Would he throw up like the last time he tried?
He wasn't sure if he wanted to find out, but he wasn't comfortable right then. He felt suffocated, cold, hot and homesick all at once. It was all wrong in his head and his scalp hurt too, like someone had pulled his hair really hard.
He shifted again, maybe for the 7 millionth time within that hour and felt tears crawl down his cheek onto his nose and into his ear as he continued laying on his side.
This was a disaster, being sick usually didn't make him so dizzy, so weak, so emotional. But he was already sad before he got sick, already felt awfully homesick for his mom.
Yoongi felt like he'd drown in the ocean that was supposed to be level ground within the next few seconds as he stared down at the floor.
He almost fell off the bed when his door was pushed open with such force it cracked again the wall. He felt his brain splinter and fall into brittle piece that scraped against his ear drums until he felt like there was blood leaking out.
He looked up and saw a large looming figure with no distinct shape. It was a creature of great height but Yoongi wasn't scared because he had 6 idiots who would've stopped it if it meant harm.
So he continued staring and staring as it came closer until it stood right above him.
"W-why are you crying Hyung? Ah, it was just Joonie. His most favorite boy in the world. His favorite dimple holder, his favorite hand holder. Ah he was here. Good.
"I'm just sad Joon and I feel awful."
"I'm sorry...can I help?"
Yoongi only hummed in return, couldn't bring himself to say anything more, felt drained and tired and so awful. He wanted his mom to run her fingers through his hair, wanted her to hold his hand and let me roll around in bed.
Yoongi clenched his fists into the blanket and pulled it close to his face as he felt so, so cold suddenly. It was almost like he had never known warmth before. He sighed, maybe he deserved this. Bad things happen to bad people. And he was a bad man, he'd hurt his mom when he'd left. He'd hurt everyone.
Just like that he was boiling and he tried to fight off the blanket but he felt someone tug it back onto his frame insistently. He opened his eyes ready to glare them into submission but instead got a cool hand that touched his forehead for a second before it sank into his hair.
If he were a cat, he would've purred and nuzzled into the hand, but as he was only a sick, tired man he just laid there quietly, loved the attention.
It wasn't how his mom did it but it was nice and felt like home away from home. Felt like a different building made of different bricks yet the feeling, the warmth behind it was the same.
He opened his eyes and saw Namjoon awkwardly bent in half one hand at his side and the other buried in Yoongi's hair. He looked like he was hurting his back but didn't seem like he was willing to stop what he was doing either.
This prompted Yoongi to move his protesting body over a little to make space for Namjoon. Who sat down immediately, without needing a verbal command. After so many years together there wasn't much they needed to say to communicate.
And then as Yoongi closed his eyes and leaned close to Namjoon, he felt a cool hand gripping onto one of his own. He let go of the blanket, allowed Namjoon to hold his hand.
His hold was tentative, like he thought he would hurt him if he gripped tighter. Yoongi squeezed his hand once to let him know it was okay, it was good.
Yoongi felt almost too understood, too at peace as his Joonie held his hand and gently ran his fingers through his hair, over his aching scalp. He even went farther and massaged his stiff neck. Yoongi near melted into a puddle. Felt like he was finally home.
He'd thought the expression home away from home was a bit silly. But he understood now, he understood the feeling behind it. The sweetness and sincerity that came with finding a home far away from his mom but no less gentle.
His Joonie was his home and as he gripped Namjoon's hand tighter, his was held back just as tightly. He felt like he could sleep now, no longer did he want to go back to his mom with the same burning urgency.
Now it was a soft ache, a soft yearning for the soft love he got during his childhood. But as Yoongi laid there in his bed, he thought that home definitely was a person and maybe Namjoon had become his for a while now.
It had only taken this long to sink in because he yearned for something different without thinking of what he had with him, here. After all the conflict and yelling, he knew Namjoon had carved himself somewhere deep into his heart.
Yoongi sighed, he realized all of a sudden, he was in love with Namjoon. He was in it. In love with Joon, Joonie, Joon, Namu, Nyamjoon. Yeah. Love. He was in love with his best friend.
His brain felt like the remnants of a soup left in the sink to be dealt with later and so he decided his love would be dealt with when his head felt like it fit right on his body.
He never thought it was a love like this, but even with the realization he wasn't scared. If his love wasn't reciprocated, he wouldn't crash or break because while Namjoon's love for him might be of a different kind it was still there and it would still be all his.
Love couldn't ruin friendships when they were as deeply rooted as theirs was.
(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)(￣へ￣)
Yoongi woke with love in his arms and the sun in his eyes and he smiled. He was home, his home was all wrapped up and warm in his arms. Lit up with the sun in bright shades of reds and brilliant yellows.
He leaned forward and kissed him on the nose, because beauty like this wasn't something you were allowed to witness often.
He was a lucky man, he guessed as he reached out and held Namjoon's hand. Not bothered enough to try to block out the sun, not when it illuminated his home, his moon in shades he seldom got to witness.
Yoongi closed his eyes again and smiled. Today, it was exactly a decade since they found each other and a year since they first kissed after Yoongi had blurted out a flustered, embarrassingly stuttered I love you.
Their love was one for the books and for all the love songs. Theirs was the one they talked about where though they were different, they fit just right. Their hands when intertwined were the home that Yoongi had dreamed all his life, it was big and beautiful.
Yoongi was a rich, rich man, and his home was made of gold that came straight from the light of the sun. He didn't need brick walls when he had steady hands and warm arms around him.
Yoongi was happy, he was so happy. He couldn't believe he had ever been without Namjoon in his arms. That his concept of home had ever been different to what Namjoon has made it out to be.
It was the 13th of November 2020, Yoongi was home, he was content and he had the love of his life all wrapped up in his arms. His was a charmed life and he couldn't ask for more.