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Joohyun’s memory was her best trait. She could tell exactly how it was when she met each member of her group and their reactions. She recalled Yerim’s long dark hair in a ponytail and Sooyoung’s nervous laughter those fateful days. Even so, there was always something special about her meeting with Wendy that made the memories fresher in her brain. It was the first time they touched, an awkward handshake, followed by a “what’s up”, in English, of course. Wendy had an aura of coolness hardly matched. Joohyun used to think it was due to her being Canadian, but after getting to know her more, it was something very Wendy.
The handshake was just a handshake. They were trainees after all, couldn’t hold themselves to many strong relationships or else they would constantly suffer the pain of goodbyes. Joohyun kept hitting the dance studios, while Wendy was mainly focused on vocals. Only one thing mattered for the life of a trainee: the debut.
Transforming from Bae Joohyun of Daegu to Red Velvet’s Irene was easy. She was working for that all her life. Looking at the list of names of the ones who made it along with her a smile appeared on her lips. Seulgi had been working hard with her for so long, Sooyoung was definitely a surprise along the way, and the cool Wendy was there too.
Joohyun was relieved her group had few members. She felt she could trust them if they remained a small family and, being a leader, perhaps they would find it easier to confide in her. When the four saw each other after knowing they would become one, they hugged and shared tears of happiness. Wendy’s arms were not the only ones who embraced her on that occasion, but they mattered a lot and Joohyun would be lying if she said they weren’t the coziest.
A year passed by. Sleeping, eating, breathing together more than shaped their relationship. Going through sessions of hate comments on Naver would always make a member take the phone away from the other and they performed their two songs without rest. They had debuted, they had completed their dream, they should be happy. Sometimes Joohyun forgot the feeling of when dancing used to be fun, but she shouldn’t be ungrateful.
It was hard for her to be a leader. She tried to be someone the other members would look up to but never found someone she herself could rely on. Wendy would sometimes check on her, ask if she wanted to talk. Joohyun shrugged. She was Red Velvet’s Irene. Everything was fine.
When Yerim came into their team, Joohyun couldn’t say if she wanted to keep her out or welcome her in. She adored Yerim but did not want to bring her into that broken mess. It would be good if the youngest could restart somewhere new. Everything Joohyun touched was cursed.
She was proven wrong when they got their first win. Irene smiled at the camera, brushed her hair away and thanked their fans. She didn’t cry, even when she heard Joy and Yeri crying behind her. Red Velvet’s Irene couldn’t cry, she was a cold beauty. She passed the microphone to Seulgi and for a second her eyes interlocked with Wendy’s. She was always the cool Wendy, it didn’t matter if on stage or not. Joohyun took a deep breath.
Moments later she was out of the cameras' sight, running for Wendy’s arms and crying on her shoulder. Never could she tell why Wendy’s shoulder, when it could have been anyone else. Perhaps a calling pulled her closest to Wendy and it all amounted down to that day. She couldn’t stop hiccuping and Wendy whispered encouraging words in English. One of her hands started stroking Joohyun’s long blonde hair and she cried even more on her shoulder. She had found the one who she could be Daegu’s Joohyun with.
Years went by and friendship bloomed. They held hands constantly, slept on each other’s beds and confided secrets to each other. Wendy never once lost her cool with Joohyun, always regarding her as the best of leaders and listening to everything she had to say. Joohyun tried to be there for Wendy too, but then again, she kept her cool and hardly ever let herself go.
That was until that fateful day. Joohyun clung up to Wendy, her arms across her belly and face on the cusp between neck and shoulder. The younger was mindlessly watching videos on her phone. Joohyun wrapped her legs with her own, smelling her friend’s perfume. Wendy tried getting out of her arms. Joohyun held her still. Fight unfolded.
“Unnie, let me go,” Wendy said, but made no real effort.
Joohyun tightened her grip slightly and nuzzled on Wendy’s shoulder. “Don’t wanna.”
“Let me go.”
“No!” The older replied in a whine.
In a few seconds, Wendy had overpowered Joohyun, throwing her off her bed. Seulgi, who was walking down the hall, stared at the scene in true shock. Joohyun got up from the ground and, without any other glance towards Wendy, made her way to her bedroom.
It took a few hours, but Joohyun heard a small knock on her door. She didn’t answer, but Wendy made her way in, looking very regretful.
“Sorry about that.” She murmured, staying very close to the door.
The older didn’t take the eyes from the book she was reading. Wendy started getting impatient and tapping her feet on the ground.
“Unnie… Please.”
Joohyun finally took her eyes from her book to stare at the girl in front of her. Wendy wore a light blue pajamas and her short light blonde hair was messy for it was a lazy day for them. There was no air of coolness on her anymore, only an aura of anxiety and urgency.
“Why did you lose your temper?” Joohyun asked, in her leader-tone. She would rarely ever use it in their spare time, but then again Wendy never lost reason with her.
“Things have been happening.” She said, looking everywhere in the room but Joohyun’s eyes. The next sentence was spoken in almost a murmur. “I like you.”
Joohyun frowned and put her book down completely. “Like me?”
The younger was on the verge of panicking, to the point she repeated herself in English: “I really like you.”
She understood that much. Joohyun got up from her bed and held Wendy’s hand. Finally, their eyes met again and, trying her best to stay cool, she approached her lips. Trembling hands, dehydrated lips, room burning hot, things were far from perfect. However, when their lips met, Joohyun knew that she would keep that memory with her forever.