Chapter Text
Gou stared at the shadows on the ceiling, eyes wide open. He couldn’t sleep. The day had gone by in such a rush of adrenaline and emotion that his thoughts were a jumble. Fragmented memories flashing in front of his eyes. A thousand watt grin stretched wide over Ash’s face, and a hand reaching out for Gou to help him up. A boy in a blue jacket, standing fearlessly with his arms outstretched against two intense beams of light.
His whole world had been overturned in just two days. How the other boy was sleeping soundly in his bed was unknown to him, snoring away as if this was just another normal day for him.
Gou had heard of him before, of course, the Alola Champion and the reckless boy who had somehow stopped many evil schemes in his time. But nothing could have prepared him for what he was like in the flesh. Hot-headed and determined, but also selfless. He didn’t have any reservations about putting himself forward to help others, not like…well, not like Gou. He liked Pokemon, no, loved Pokemon. And he had said, without any reservation and with shining eyes that of course Gou was his friend.
Something fluttered in his chest at the thought. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, because getting too attached meant you got hurt, but…Ash was perfect.
Woah, he must be more tired than he thought. These kinds of thoughts were not like him, he thought about Pokemon and science and other appropriate things, he wasn’t some lovestruck girl fantasizing about their crush.
That’s it, he was going to sleep. He turned over, and his foot banged against the wall. He yelped (like a girl), and cradled his foot.
Below him, Ash groaned and there was the sound of rustling sheets. “Mmm…Gou?”
“Y-yes?” He could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks, even though Ash wasn’t looking at him or awake. It felt like he’d been discovered doing something awful, but obviously Ash couldn’t know he’d been thinking about him. Get it together Gou! He couldn’t act weird, or he’d be abandoned again…act natural.
“Still awake?” Ash’s voice mumbled sleepily. Gou suddenly wanted to see what his sleepy face looked like, and an image of Ash rubbing his eyes flashed in front of his eyes.
“Yeah!” His voice came out embarrassingly raspy. He had tried to whisper so he didn’t wake anyone up but it sounded so loud in the silence anyway. “Sorry to wake you! I was just too excited to sleep!”
Ash chuckled. “Don’t worry about it! And there’s plenty more to do tomorrow, our adventure’s only just starting!”
Ah, tomorrow. And the day after, and the day after…there was so much more to enjoy. Finally his journey was starting, but he was more excited than possible because of his unexpected companion.
“Yeah, there are so many Pokemon I want to see!” Gou said, hesitancy swept away by excitement now they were talking about Pokemon. “All the species I’ve only seen in books before, I want to see what they’re really like.”
“I know all the best spots,” Ash said proudly. “Butterfree viewing near Saffron, the Great Tauros Migration, might even spot a Dragonair in the Safari Lake…so many places I know you’ll love!”
Ash kept talking, and Gou listened intently to every word. It was incredible. Ash had been to so many places, and he was only the same age as him. He wanted to know more about him.
It felt intimate to talk like this. Laugh together. He’d never had a true friend like this, certainly not someone he’d sleep over with.
Gou smiled, hugging his pillow close to his chest as they talked.
Somehow, they ended up on the topic of Ash – Ash’s hometown, his adventures, and the people most important to him. It was a little sad to Gou, hearing how many people Ash seemed to have left behind, but he spoke of them so fondly he couldn’t feel sorry for them. They were lucky to have been so loved.
To think that Gou had felt so trapped in his own life just days ago, and now it felt like the whole world was at his fingertips with Ash by his side.
But he could never tell him that…well, not directly.
He didn’t remember falling asleep, only that his eyelids were drooping lower and lower, until the only thing he knew was the faint sound of Ash’s voice floating in the dark, comforting and lulling.
The next morning, it was as if nothing had happened. They raced down the stairs and competed for the last pork bun, they went out and had another fun adventure, and Ash was as casual about touching Gou as before (god, that hug was not expected but it sure felt nice). It was great.
Ash laughed at Gou’s stupid jokes (probably because he was equally as stupid), the ones Gou usually didn’t make because he had an image to uphold. They shared a milk tea on the train, from one container, and Gou tried not to feel self-conscious about it.
No matter how close something made them, Ash didn’t seem to care. While Gou felt like his face was lighting up like Rudolph’s nose on Christmas. He just wasn’t used to being so close to people. Ash’s obliviousness was great, in a way, because it meant Gou could sneak glances and secretly enjoy the moment without having to hide it. But it also meant that Ash didn’t think of him as special in any way, which made him feel disappointed. He was probably just one of many friends for Ash.
They started talking again that night. There were times in the past where he couldn’t get to sleep because he felt so alone. But Ash’s casual companionship felt good. The small things, like Ash asking him if he wanted hot chocolate, or asking him about his favourite foods and places like he really wanted to know.
Well, nice until he started asking too much into his personal life…
“What about you, Gou?” Ash asked, after recounting a long tale of being chased by a Mankey down a gorge.
“Oh, I’m pretty great,” Gou said. “The most amazing person you’ll ever meet, for sure.” Ash threw a pillow at him.
“I meant about your life!”
“Oh…hahaha.” He shrugged to the ceiling, even though Ash couldn’t see him. “Not much, compared to you. I’ve been waiting to turn 10 for a long time, so I can go find Mew. Of course, I’ve done lots of research and had fun learning about all the Pokemon around here.”
“Surely you’ve had some fun adventures with your friends! Tell me!”
“Ah,” he started hesitantly. “Yeah, totally! So many!” He didn’t say any more, letting the silence drag on purposefully, and expected Ash to read the situation and back off (as any normal person would).
“But surely you have friends!” he exclaimed instead.
“O-of course,” he said. Diving in full throttle, of course he was...
“Gou,” Ash said. He could hear the frown in his voice. He gulped. Maybe Ash had figured it out. What from him saying that Ash ‘was one of those people’ and him asking with such shyness to be Ash’s friend...
“Gou, you’re really popular, aren’t you?” he said in the cheeriest tone imaginable. “Don’t worry! I won’t be jealous!”
Oh my god. Gou felt like laughing and crying at the same time at his own stupidity. So, Ash wasn’t that perceptive.
“Why are you laughing?” Gou didn’t reply. “Hey, Gou! Let me in on the joke!” He stuck his head out from the bed to look at him. “Please!”
“Nothing, nothing,” he said in between bursts of laughter. “I just, think it’s great how you see the best in everyone.”
Ash looked mildly confused. “Thanks, I think!”
“Ash, you’re an idiot.”
“Huh?! You wanna fight!” Ash protested. “I thought we were saying nice things!”
Ash grabbed onto the wooden bar between the bunks and flipped himself up onto the top bunk with incredible athleticism. “Time to face your destiny!”
“Wha-”
Ash wrestled him down, and Gou had to blink and compose himself for a moment - seeing Ash’s face so close made his heart beat strangely fast – before grabbing onto Ash’s wrists and fighting back. “Not so fast!”
They tumbled, flipping over and over until at last Ash had him pinned down by the wrists, a wide grin on his face. “I win!”
Gou’s eyes grew wide, a blush creeping up his neck as he realized how close Ash’s face was. His body was full of adrenaline, heart thumping against his chest, and was it just him, or did Ash look like he was breathing fast as well? He could hear each huff as he exhaled and feel it skating across Gou’s cheeks, warm and gentle.
Ash’s eyes were so brown. He wanted to look away, because he felt like Ash was seeing right through into his deepest thoughts, but he felt hypnotised by his gaze.
“Ash…”
Crash. The door opened, and standing in the doorway was none other than Koharu, dressed in a pair of pink pyjamas and hands on her hips. That glare was always a bad sign.
“You’re being loud!”
“Oh,” Gou said stupidly. Damn, damn, damn, not Koharu. He’d never hear the end of this.
“Sorry,” Ash said, turning his head and smiling. Only he could act so calm in such a situation.
“It’s alright,” she said, sighing. “Just please keep it down. I know you’re…excited.”
Gou blinked, realizing suddenly what position they were in. He wriggled around, trying to hint at Ash to get off him, but he didn’t get the hint. In fact, it probably only made their position look even worse.
Koharu gave him a knowing smirk, then started to back out, thank god. Her hand paused on the door handle. “I don’t want to know what you were doing in here, but I’m glad you seem to be getting close.”
And then she was gone.
It was strange, hearing such a comment from Koharu. Perhaps she was a friend after all, in her own weird way. But what exactly was she suggesting? Gou could feel his blush deepening still and decided it was better he just forget completely about the whole encounter.
Ash sat up at last, folding his hands in his lap. “Sorry,” he said. “Looks like I got between you two, she seemed mad.”
“Not really,” Gou said. “I’ve seen way worse. She was more annoyed when I ate the jelly she put in the fridge.”
“Seriously?” Ash said. “You’ve got guts, man.”
Gou laughed. “Hey, when someone takes the last piece of pizza right from your hands, there’s no such thing as loyalty anymore.”
He still felt a bit jittery from before. Sneaking a look at Ash’s face, it looked like he was unaffected once again. Was that even normal? Was Gou just overreactive? Maybe this was something friends did all the time, like staring contests or something, and it wasn’t such a big deal. But it didn’t quite seem like a game…and it felt like a big deal to him.
Ugh. Whatever that feeling had been, it was amazing and Koharu had to ruin it by barging in.
Ash didn’t ask more about Gou, at least, not directly. He was perceptive though, and Gou sometimes felt like Ash could read him like a book. And he could tell he was curious, because Ash perked up every time Gou mentioned anything about himself.
So, Gou had a thought. It was a little bit selfish, but he really wanted to know something about Ash that no one else did. Something that meant he could feel special.
“I’ll tell you more about myself,” Gou said casually one night, as they tucked themselves into bed. Ash brightened up like a puppy offered a new treat. “But, one condition.”
Ash nodded. “Bring it!”
“I’ll tell you more…if you tell me a secret about yourself.” Gou was both cursing and congratulating himself for his guts, but he’d committed himself now. “Something you don’t let anyone else know.”
Ash was silent, which was concerning enough in itself. Was it too personal of a question to ask?
“It’s okay, forget-”
“Not exactly a secret,” Ash said. “But the only thing that comes to mind is that I like guys.”
Gou sat up in shock, arms flailing so hard the blankets fell off him. “W-what?” His ears were ringing. “Like…like like?”
Ash nodded solemnly. “It’s not a big deal, at least I don’t think it is. But it’s the only thing that I haven’t told anyone yet.” He pointed at himself and grinned. “Everything else, what you see if what you get.”
“How did you find out?” He knew he was just getting way personal with these questions, but he couldn’t help wanting to know. He didn’t know why, but he felt his insides were burning with a strange desire to know more. What a strange thing to like guys that way.
“A girl kissed me a while ago, and it made me realize, well, that lots of others probably liked me too.”
Gou laughed nervously. “Of course, you’re cool. You’d totally be attractive to the ladies.”
“Thanks Gou,” he said. “I feel bad now, because I never noticed. I just didn’t think of them like that.”
“Is there someone…who you think of like that?”
“Hmm…I don’t know!”
“Then how do you know?” Ash wasn’t making any sense to him.
“I can just feel it,” he said. “You know?”
Gou narrowed his eyes, trying to make sense of Ash’s strange understanding of the world. “Uh, no, not really.”
He noticed his blankets on the floor, probably knocked there by his earlier exclamation. “Hey, could you toss those up for me?”
Ash’s mouth split in the goofiest grin, and he dove down to grab the blankets. “Yessir!” He wrapped them around him like a cloak, and climbed up the bunkbed ladder with faux gracefulness. “Delivery for your highness, sir!”
Gou laughed. “Okay, now that’s just dumb.”
Ash pouted. “Wouldn’t look dumb if Pikachu was on my shoulder!” He stared wistfully at Pikachu, sleeping peacefully in the mini bed on the floor.
“I cannot believe you,” Gou said, shaking his head. What a statement. There were indeed, many things he couldn’t believe about Ash, who’d somehow leapt into his life and changed his worldview completely in 72 hours. As well as introducing this very interesting idea that boys could like boys…
Little did he know just how relevant that fact was going to become tomorrow.