Chapter Text
There's something about him. When they battle, it's electrifying. It's more than anything Raihan's ever felt. It rushes through him like lightning and forces him to give his all. He's magnetic. Pushing and pulling against Raihan, he draws all eyes to him and gives everyone one hell of a battle. Every battle fills him with adrenaline and something else he can't quite name. He's battled so many others, but nothing compares to these.
When the sandstorm clears and his last Pokemon falls, Leon stands victorious yet again. Yet, Raihan's not mad. He's disappointed of course, but never mad. He doesn't think he's capable of being angry with Leon for beating him.
The battle has left him breathless. At least, that's what he convinces himself. Part of him knows the real reasons these battles get him so riled up. The other part won't ever acknowledge it, can't acknowledge it. There's far too much at stake if he does.
As they make their way across the pitch to meet each other, he feels his chest get tighter. When they shake hands he tells himself the breath hitched in his throat is just lingering effects from the storm earlier. He thanks Arceus that Leon doesn't notice anything.
•
They're having lunch together at some cafe Leon was interested in. It was a spur of the moment invitation, and Raihan had accepted immediately. He didn't tell Leon he had been busy when he got the text.
Leon is talking about his brother, his plans for the week, how busy he's been lately. He talks about anything that seems to cross his mind. Raihan doesn't say much. He just listens. He listens to his voice and watches his hands move animatedly as he talks. He finds himself smiling.
Then, Leon mentions something Raihan wishes he didn't. He starts talking about a girl he had gone on a date with. He says she's attractive. He says she's kind. He says she's a good battler.
The smile on his face falls. He tells himself the horrible feeling in his stomach is from the food. Leon doesn't notice the change. Raihan doesn't know if he wants him to not notice.
•
They're training together. To an outsider, it looks like they're trying to hold a conversation over the sounds of the battle. Anyone who knows them would know better. They're trying to distract the other. It started off as a joke when they were training a few years ago, but somehow it stuck.
Raihan feels like he might win. Leon's definitely sweating more than normal. Leon talks about how he got lost on his way to a meeting the other day. He's grinning as he throws a fake insult in response. Leon's smiling back at him. He feels his heart lift a little. It's just the thought of winning that makes it, he thinks.
Leon says things didn't work out with that girl. Raihan's brain stops working for a second. He loses focus and Leon gets the upper hand in that split second. The next thing he knows, he's lost again. He's confused. He's nervous. He's relieved. He wants to run. He doesn't know why.
His palms are clammier than usual when they grip Leon's. Leon mentions that it's gross. Raihan doesn't look into his eyes. Neither bring up his mistake in the end of the battle.
•
It's a Friday night in the middle of summer. The club is private so there aren't many people and the air conditioning is cranked all the way up. Raihan is dancing and he feels free. He thinks it's the alcohol running through him. He feels loose and he thinks he's happy.
Leon is with him. He's sitting at a booth laughing with Nessa. They lock eyes from across the room and the smile on his face must seem like an invitation because Leon excuses himself. He joins Raihan on the dancefloor and he tries to dance too.
It's bad. Raihan laughs at his attempt to seem fluid like him. Leon's face turns red but he's still smiling. He takes his hand and begins to guide him. It takes a while but then he's there. They dance together with Raihan leading. Leon is still clumsy. Raihan is still laughing, but they're laughing together. He feels warm. He thinks he's happy.
The alcohol lets a part of him surface. What he normally hides comes out. He doesn't notice. He's distracted by Leon's feet stepping on his, by the hand in his, by Leon's smile.
The alcohol gives him a false bravery. His body moves faster than his brain.
His mouth meets Leon's.
He's kissing him.
Raihan is kissing Leon.
His brain suddenly catches up and he's jumping back. They're not laughing anymore. Nessa is staring with her mouth wide open from across the room. Leon's expression is unreadable. Raihan feels heat rising into his face and he panics.
He stutters out an apology and runs. He doesn't stop until he gets home and when he does he shuts his eyes and hopes he never has to open them again.
•
Raihan hasn't responded to any texts in a week. He's avoided everyone for just as long, somehow convinced the gym he got sick. He knows he can't hide in his apartment forever. He hopes he can for as long as he's able.
His phone buzzes. He reads the notification. It's another message from Nessa. His phone buzzes again. This time it's Leon. He feels his stomach drop.
Please.
That's all the message says. He knows Leon wants to talk. He wants to understand what happened. Raihan wants to crawl into his bed and sink into it.
•
It's been almost two weeks since his mistake. He had to stop avoiding his responsibilities at the gym, but he's still avoiding Leon and Nessa. They haven't told anybody about what happened. It's the one thing he's thankful for.
His phone has more unread messages than he's ever had. Nessa tried to talk to him at the gym. She had him cornered in the bathroom and refused to leave until he talked. Raihan had sat on the floor silent. It was two hours until she left.
He's home now and he can see his phone screen lighting up as he receives another message. All he does is turn it upside down. He doesn't want to talk about what happened. He doesn't think he can. He can barely confront himself. He's known he wasn't like other guys since he was a kid. He had a crush on another boy in his class. He told a friend about it. His friend told everyone. Then, he didn't have any more friends. Nobody wanted to talk to him. He was strange. He was different. He was defective.
Since then, he forced those feelings down as far as they would go and refused to acknowledge them. As far as he knew, he had ruined his friendship with Leon. He didn't want to face that. He couldn't do it.
There's a timid knock on his door. Raihan freezes. He's not expecting anyone.
There's another knock, stronger this time. Raihan doesn't move.
There's a third knock. This one is forceful. Raihan finally gets up.
He opens the door and Leon is standing on the other side, hand raised in mid-knock. He looks shocked as if he didn't expect the door to really open. Raihan feels his heart rate pick up. He shouldn't have opened the door. He's just about to close it again when Leon puts his foot in the frame. Raihan looks down, avoiding Leon's eyes. He's stuck. He's scared.
"Raihan…" Leon's voice is soft, as if Raihan is a terrified pokemon he's trying to calm.
"Please let me in. I need to talk to you."
Raihan wants to say no. He desperately wishes he could, but Leon sounds so sincere. He sounds so tired. So, Raihan steps aside and Leon steps in.
Leon sits on the far side of the couch. Raihan sits in a chair on the opposite side of the room. He looks at his coffee table. He looks at the pictures on his walls. He looks anywhere but at Leon. For a moment, neither of them speak. They hardly breathe. Raihan can feel the tension in the air and he wants nothing more than to hide. He can feel Leon's eyes on him. Watching. Waiting. Leon sighs. It's soft and barely audible. Raihan waits for the storm to hit, but it never comes. Instead, it's something much more unexpected.
"I love you."
He stops breathing. His eyes flick up to look into Leon's. He tells himself he must've heard wrong. He has to be mistaken. Leon's eyes are warm. His face is open.
"What?" It comes out a little breathless, like he just got done running a marathon. His mind repeats one thought: What the hell.
"I love you, Raihan." He's looking right at him. Their eyes are locked. "After our gym challenge, I knew I had these feelings for you, but I thought you didn't. You never really liked to talk about your emotions and I thought you just saw us as friends. But the other night, when you kissed me..."
Raihan doesn't respond. He knows if he does his voice will give away everything. His eyes didn't seem to get the memo, though. He feels tears prick at his eyes and soon enough he's crying.
It's loud and it's ugly and it's like a weight is lifting. Leon comes over and wraps his arms around him. His hands rub circles on his back. Raihan returns the embrace. His hands are bundled in Leon's sweatshirt, his grip tight. He doesn't want to let go. In his ear, Leon whispers words of comfort.
It's okay, I've got you, just let go…
Raihan cries, and cries, and eventually falls asleep in Leon's arms.