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So, traveling the world to teach mortals about the wonders of wine had been fun, but certainly not as entertaining as he would have liked.
You’d think I’d be drunk by now…
Dionysus considered as he downed the last drops his seventh cup, looking around at the utter chaos surrounding him.
It was fun, riling up these types of things. Perhaps he shouldn’t be so proud of it, but hey, it wasn’t like anyone on Olympus could stop him. So he continued his parade across the more significant part of the Mediterranean, with the sweetness of his wine driving people out of their minds in his wake.
Half of the lightweights are already passed out…no fun in that.
The god frowned, raking a hand through his hair. His godly aura was purple, like the grapes he used to create his intoxicating wine, but at the moment he was concealing it. He wasn’t here to be worshipped; maybe he’d pull that trick the next town over. Right now, he just wanted to casually slip in with his drink and watch everyone fall to pieces over it.
They’ll come to my side after I leave, desperate for more.
Now there was an idea, then maybe he could finally go back to Athens, shove it to the idiots who were all perfectly perfect there, and head home?
He’d held out his cup to be refilled by a maiden going around with a large pitcher, wobbling slightly from how much she must have already consumed.
He raised it to his lips, the familiar odor crinkling his nose with its strength.
And this is the watered-down stuff…
A grin found his lips, and he raised his glass again.
* * *
Looks like it finally got to me…
He considered as he staggered out of the tavern in the seaside town he’d stopped off in. The party was over at this point, all the attendees having blacked out from drinking, and on his eighteenth cup of wine Dionysus had finally elected to call it a night. The cool breeze did wonders for the lovely floating feeling he felt whenever he finally managed to get himself drunk.
I’ll have to start making my stuff stronger, huh?
He considered, grinning and giggling lightly to himself as he wandered his way up the street, headed parallel to the waters edge, wobbling to and fro.
Where to now…?
He considered, before overhearing some whispers from an alley he was tottering past.
“He’s a pretty one, huh?”
“Would fetch a high price for sure…why not? We’re about to leave port, and maybe we can have some fun along the way.”
Dionysus felt a twinge of annoyance, and considered simply turning the next corner and pulling a vanishing act to avoid the situation. Then, on second thought, he was pretty bored with going town to town with his parties, and maybe he could play with these sailors a bit.
After all…they have no idea what they’re getting themselves into.
It was a humorous thought, and all the madness he might be able to invoke would be well worth the trouble of letting himself get kidnapped.
So when he turned the next corner, instead of vanishing, he spun on his heel once and faked passing out onto the ground.
“Damn, it really is our lucky day, he’s blacked out.” He heard the gravely voice from the alley comment, and he had to fight to avoid laughing.
This certainly would be interesting.
The Ship.
Apparently he’d been drunk enough from the party that faking sleep for too long actually allowed him to fall asleep. Not that Dionysus was all that worried, these mortal sailors could never hope to harm him, even if he were completely off-guard. He awoke in a room within the depths of the ship, and he idly glanced down at the shackles chaining his wrists to the post he was propped again.
Briefly closing his eyes, he could sense they were already sailing off, and vaguely wondered how long he’d been asleep.
Stupid of me to actually black out…well, I didn’t black out, I was just sleepy. We’ll go with that.
He couldn’t help snickering to himself as he easily brushed the shackles off his wrists like they were nothing more than pieces of thread.
Shortly after he’d done this, the door to the room rattled; the sound of the deadbolt sliding reached his ears.
Well, I wouldn’t want to ruin the fun just yet…
He considered as he took up the shackles he’d just removed and snapped them back around his wrists. The door opened, and a young boy poked his head in. He had short brown hair and nervous eyes that flitted about the room before landing on Dionysus.
He entered, carrying with him a tray of what were clearly subpar rations.
“Are you ok?” He asked, carefully closing the door behind him before entering.
“I believe so. Though why are you concerned about me?” Dionysus asked him.
The kid seemed taken aback by how at ease the prisoner was, before setting the tray down next to him. “They said not to come in here, but it’s already been a full day. I didn’t want you to go hungry all that time.”
Dionysus looked over the rations before he smiled lightly. “Should I assume this is your share, then?”
“Yes, but I’m ok. I ate this morning.” He replied.
The god shook his head. “I appreciate it, but I won’t take your food. I only just woke up a few minutes ago, so any hunger has yet to set in.”
The boy clearly didn’t believe him, not reaching to take the food back, looking him up and down in confusion. “Are you sure you’re ok? You do realize where you are, right?”
Dionysus smiled again, trying his best not to let any air of madness get through.
What a sweet child…
The only one who’d bothered to be concerned about him at the least. It was quite endearing.
“I’ve been kidnapped, isn’t that right? I’m well aware.” He held up one of his arms, still shackled, at this, and the boy flushed.
“I-I didn’t mean, I just…I know what they want to do with you. It’s…”
He shuddered.
Dionysus shrugged. “Fate will do as it pleases, is that right? The only ones who can change those courses are the gods.”
The boy seemed further worried by his words. “So that’s just it? Aren’t you going to try to get away, or bargain, or something?”
“Are you saying you’d help me if I did? This is a ship, so there’s not anywhere to go.”
He leaned his head back against the pole.
“What is your name, boy?”
The kid stiffened, before finally speaking up. “Acoetes.”
“Well, you eat your food, Acoetes, and then get out of here. I get the feeling you’d get in trouble if you were caught talking to me. Are you a cabin boy?”
“Yes, sir.”
Acoetes then went on, with Dionysus’s probing, to admit that he was an orphan who’d been picked up by the ships captain, and was working in exchange for enough food to live off of, and a few coins here and there.
Dionysus found the whole thing very endearing, the fact that he’d risk his livelihood to help comfort the poor young man who’d fallen into the sailors clutches.
Perhaps this will be more fun than I thought.
* * *
After a few days aboard, and allowing some jeering to be done at him by the sailors, who were all to happy to describe the things they intended to do with him as soon as the captain gave the go-ahead, Dionysus had lost his patience.
Why won’t one of them just try something with me? This is getting boring again.
The god considered, but it seemed that his wish was to be granted when several of the sailors came down, one of them being the man who’d taken him in the first place.
They were all a bit off-put by how lackadaisical their prisoner was as they took him above deck to the main helm, where the captain was waiting.
The entire crew seemed to have crowded around, and the captain, standing in front of his quarters, which was led into by a door above deck.
“About time, the captain finally agreed to take the first round, and then the rest of us can have our fun.” The comment came from the gravely voiced man, and Dionysus didn’t bother to say anything.
The show was about to begin, and it seemed like his patience was going to pay off with a good deal of fun.
The captain took ahold of the chain connected to his shackles and pulled him roughly into the room, slamming the door behind them.
“I’d hope this wouldn’t have to get rough, that pretty face would be a shame to ruin.” His voice was about as pleasant as a leech, and his fingers dancing along the gods bare shoulder were on the same level.
“Oh, it would be, wouldn’t it? I’ve been getting bored, waiting on one you to try something. Thank you for finally getting this started.”
The young god turned easily on his heel and seized the mans chin.
“W-What the…?” The man made to swat his hand away, only for his muscular grip to do absolutely nothing to the lithe arm grasping him.
The grin that split Dionysus’s face was beyond what the slight visage he possessed should able to hold, and madness flickered in his gaze like candlelight.
“Now, why don’t we have some fun?”
* * *
Acoetes was watching from the steps as the young man was led into the captains quarters by the captain himself. The boy felt his stomach overturn, silently wishing he’d been able to do something to avoid this conclusion. Grasping the railing, he waited to hear the voice that’d been so kind to him, because there was no way he could maintain that relaxed facade any further now that he was faced with his fate.
And screams did come from behind the closed door.
But it wasn’t the young man screaming.
The voice belonged to the captain, and immediately several of the sailors lurched forward.
“What’s going on!?” One busted down the door.
The aura that escaped the room was like a physical wave, rushing over all gathered there in a dizzying swell.
The power was palpable, as from the room came the young man, holding the captains wine flask in one hand, a purplish glow emitting from his body.
He went to raise the flask to his lips and was impeded by the chains still connecting his wrists. Without seeming to even struggle, he snapped the chain so he could drink comfortably.
The gathered men watched as this figure drained the flask in two swallows, tossing it over his shoulder.
Where it landed on captain, lying on the floor near the edge of the room, seeming completely untouched. Yet he was giggling softly, and twitching.
“T-The Captain…he looks as if he’s gone mad!” One of the sailors declared, as the young man sighed.
“That was weak. You.” He pointed to the sailor with the gravely voice, first mate of the crew.
“Bring me more.” He ordered.
“Why you…what curse have you brought down!?” The man strode towards him.
The young man looked irritated, plump lips dropping into a frown, and when the man made to lunge at him, he flicked him in the forehead.
The man collapsed, eyes gone hazy as clutching at his head, howling.
Without a thought, the ‘prisoner’ planted a foot to his chest and kicked him away.
He then turned, eyes flashing, and pointed out another sailor.
“Bring me more.” He said this in a darker tone.
“Who are you?” They were all rooted to the deck.
The young man laughed. “Will you not listen? I’ve been waiting around for you to try and have your fun with me for days now, and all that time I haven’t had a drop to drink. Then I finally get to play around and all your Captain has is that weak stuff? Do you really have nothing else aboard?”
Acoetes didn’t think twice before turning and rushing down the stairs, returning with one of the amphora of wine they had for the journey. He was toughened from his years laboring in the shipyards, and was able to manage the thing back up the stairs.
When he returned, several more sailors had joined the Captain on the floor, each having radically different reactions to whatever this young man's touch caused.
“H-Here!” He pushed through the crowd carrying the amphora.
“I…I don’t have anything to serve it with, or to water it down with, but…” Acoetes tried to apologize, but the young man didn’t even blink. He swept the amphora from him with one hand, popped the lid off, and raised it to his lips.
“That’s not…watered…down.” Acoetes began, but by the time he finished the sentence, the last few drops were dribbling down the man's chin, and he lowered the amphora with a sigh.
“…weak. Damn, my stuff watered down is still stronger than your swill.” He tossed the amphora aside, letting it strike the man with the gravelly voice in the head, which knocked him out and put an end to how he’d been screaming non-stop.
“It’ll have to do…” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, facing the remaining crew with a grin spreading upon his lips.
“Now, I hope you’re ready to accept the wrath of an Olympian.”
It was pure chaos.
The mast of the ship shifted into a giant snake, which collapsed to the deck, sending the vessel rocking wildly. It then lunged with an ear-piercing hiss towards the few men still on the bottom deck. Several lions and bears materialized and began mauling the various crew still standing, one even gunning for the still madness afflicted captain and tearing his throat out.
Acoetes felt a tremble fall upon his limbs as large green vines spread from the young mans feet, tripping up any of the sailors attempting to escape and leaving them to be preyed upon by the predators that had been summoned. About half the crew made it to the edge of the ship and leapt into the water to avoid being caught in the jaws of death.
Acoetes watched the broken shackles fall to the planks, brushed off like they were nothing, as the young man crossed the deck to the railing.
“Trying to swim away? I could leave you to drown, but I’m not that cruel.”
The smile on his face would say otherwise, and with a wave of his hand, he transformed the remaining crew members into dolphins, who thrashed in the water in a frenzy, still with the minds of men.
Acoetes turned his head shakily back to who remained on board, only to see everyone was gone but him. The predators had somehow consumed everything of the ones they’d caught, right down to the bones. There was nothing left, not even blood on the deck, since the vines creeping their way around had soaked it up. The massive snake, after eating several of the men, had straightened itself back out, and reverted back into the mast, standing tall as if nothing had happened.
“That was lovely, wasn’t it?”
A chill ran down his spine at the words, and he turned to see the otherworldly youth who’d been in the ships possession for a little under a week now stroking the mane of one of the lions he’d summoned.
He lifted his eyes to Acoetes, who was to petrified to even move, and crossed the deck towards him.
“A-Are…are you…you’re not human.” Acoetes managed to get these words from his lips.
The young man tilted his head. “No, I am not.”
With another wave of his hand the beasts all vanished, and as he walked the vines retreated into him.
“Didn’t you hear me? I’m an Olympian.”
The boys eyes widened. “Lord Dionysus?”
The god's eyes widened. “That’s right. I’m surprised, most people don’t respect me these days.”
Considering the poor kid had just seen several people getting swallowed by a giant snake, and then turned into dolphins, it was understandable that he’d be more than willing to offer all the respect due.
“I-I’ve heard of you…traveling, driving people mad or having them follow you,” Acoetes confessed.
“Sometimes, I even do both.” Dionysus laughed again before moving to the boy.
“You needn’t fear me.”
Acoetes was speechless, do Dionysus elaborated. “You treated me kindly, and tried to help me. You even brought me a drink when the rest were still disbelieving of me. That’s enough to endear you to me, it’s been a long time since someone chose my side without my touch driving them insane first.”
He offered his hand down, and Acoetes instinctively recoiled.
This only prompted more laughter from the god. “It will be as I say, I will not harm you, nor drive you mad. In fact, for your kindness I intend to repay you.”
He moved to the wheel of the ship and angled it off towards shore, which they were rapidly approaching.
“I’ll arrange a new crew…then this ship will be yours. Does that sound fair?”
Acoetes eyes bugged from his head. “D-Do you mean it?”
“Of course. And you’ll maintain my favor, so if anything drastic ever comes for you, offer me a prayer and I’ll choose your side, as you chose mine.”
When they reached the shore, Dionysus departed, and while Acoetes was tempted to call after him, still curious over all that he didn’t understand to do with the mysterious immortal, he didn’t get the chance.
Quickly as his feet touched the earth, he was gone again.
To spread more chaos or more drunken fun?
Who knew.