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Later Sai would wonder how the topic had come up in the middle of an A-rank mission. Sakura and Naruto walked back into the small clearing in which they were stopping for the night, Naruto rambling as he often did. “…and Iruka-sensei said he loves going to Ichiraku, which is—”
“Naruto!” Sakura snapped. “Don’t be ridiculous. Iruka-sensei is definitely not dating Ayame.”
“Ehh?” Naruto seemed to consider this for a moment. “But, hey, Sakura-chan, how do you know?”
“What?” She paused for a moment, then said: “Naruto, she’s not his type.” Naruto made a noise of protest and she continued quickly: “I just know. It’s a girl thing. Come on, help me get a firepit set up.”
“Hm,” Sai said quietly, not looking up from the scroll in his lap. “And even if Ayame were a man, I don’t think Kakashi-sensei would be very happy about Iruka-sensei cheating on him.”
There was dead silence for a moment. Sai added a few strokes to the hindquarters of a lion and thought about whether he wanted to add another animal, or leave the picture just slightly asymmetrical. One of the books he’d read recently had talked about the perfect imperfection of asymmetry, though he wasn’t certain he understood what it meant.
“What?” Sakura asked, and Sai looked up, because that was her ‘I am about to hit something very, very hard, and it might be you’ voice, and saw that Naruto was sitting on the ground with his legs extended in front of him, scrubbing his hands over his ears.
“Was I unclear?” Sai asked. “Or do you think Iruka-sensei has his permission? I suppose they might have a non-monogamous relationship,” he continued, consideringly, “but it seems unlikely.”
They both stared at him. Sai considered the expression on Naruto’s face: surprise, horror, and a little bit of disgust. He cataloged it for later consideration and looked over at Sakura, who had buried her face in her hands.
“Sai,” she said, voice muffled by her palms, “didn’t any of your books mention that it’s impolite to speculate about other people’s love lives?” Sai frowned and thought back. None had said so in so direct a fashion, but several had mentioned discretion.
“It’s not speculation,” he replied, “it’s observation.” Sakura shook her head; when Sai looked over, Naruto was staring at him dumbfounded.
“Sai,” he asked, “what are you talking about? There’s no way Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei are…” he sputtered and trailed off, face bright red.
“Naruto,” Sai replied, “do you remember what happened the morning after Iruka-sensei brought us to his apartment, after you tried drinking against Kiba?”
“Hey!” Naruto exclaimed, “you lost, too!” Sai just looked at him, waiting, and Naruto rolled his eyes.
“Okayy—,” he conceded. “Iruka-sensei made us drink something really, really horrible, and then he gave us breakfast!”
“Kakashi-sensei was cooking breakfast in Iruka-sensei’s kitchen.” Sai corrected, glancing over at Sakura, who had gone quiet. That was either a very good thing (if she had lost interest) or a very bad thing (if she were considering how best to respond to something she deemed inappropriate). Sai suspected it was the latter, but her smile was hard to read.
“Yeah, that’s right!” Naruto chimed in, after a moment. “It was pretty good, too! Hey, Sakura-chan, did you know Kakashi-sensei can cook? I wonder what else he can make — and, man, why doesn’t he ever cook when we’re on missions? It’s always gross ration bars and food pills and stuff!”
Sai wondered, not for the first time, what the world looked like from Naruto’s perspective, that he could remember enjoying a meal without having observed the circumstances surrounding it. It was as if he didn’t consider his environment worth memorizing.
“He was clearly familiar with the kitchen’s layout,” Sai continued, “and he wasn’t fully dressed.”
“Whaat?” Naruto whipped around to stare at him. “Sai! Stop saying such perverted things! Of course Kakashi-sensei was dressed!” Sakura’s lips quirked upwards just a little bit.
“No,” Sai corrected, “he wasn’t. He was almost completely unarmed, and his shins were unbound.” Naruto cocked his head to one side.
“Sure,” he said, “but he was totally dressed. You’re so weird sometimes, Sai.”
“Well, well,” Kakashi drawled, walking back into the small clearing with an armful of wood. “If I’d known my wardrobe was the topic of so much speculation, I’d have dressed for the occasion.” He dropped the wood next to the small crater Sakura had made for a fire pit. “Well?” He said, as they blinked at him, “if you all want to start a fire, you’re going to need kindling.”
Naruto looked up at him, visibly confused. “But, Kakashi-sensei, can’t you just —“ he mimed a katon.
“What kind of teacher would I be if I deprived my former students of an opportunity to learn?” Kakashi replied. He settled down cross-legged, pulled out a book and proceeded to very obviously ignore the three of them.
“Kakashi-sensei” Sai began, “are you and I — ow!” He wheeled around and glared at Sakura, who shrugged and drew her joined fingers across her lips. When he didn’t respond, she held one finger up: shh. He started to turn back to Kakashi and she grabbed him by the wrist.
“Bye, Kakashi-sensei!” she called, cheerfully. “We’ll just go get some kindling.” And she dragged him off into the woods before he could say anything more.
* * * * * *
The rest of the evening passed largely uneventfully, probably because Sakura sat down right between Sai and Naruto and either glared or punched them every time they tried to bring it up. Kakashi-sensei raised an eyebrow, and muttered something about Tsunade, but didn’t ask what was going on, for which she was thankful.
The next morning, the topic seemed to have been forgotten. Team Kakashi reached the pick-up point and retrieved their client’s possessions, and then turned to head back to Konoha. Sakura usually didn’t mind when a mission ended up comparatively easy like this, but today she wished they had more to keep them occupied, because she could practically see Naruto chewing on what Sai had said the previous evening.
Finally Kakashi slipped ahead, motioning to the rest of them to stay hidden: the routes back to Konoha from the drop-point were comparatively few, and they expected at least some of them to be trapped or watched: the client could be paying for a B-rank mission out of hubris, or out of justified fear, and it did no harm to be cautious.
“So,” Sakura offered, after they’d been crouched silently for a few long minutes. “At least it’s not raining?”
“Rain would be preferable.” Sai pointed out. “It would make tracking us more difficult.”
“Ugh,” Naruto replied, “but we’d be all wet.” Sometimes Sakura wondered whether anyone else noticed how Naruto was sometimes a little quieter, a little more determined, when it rained. If they had, no one had mentioned it to her, and she certainly wasn’t going to bring it up. There was a sort of unspoken truce among the three of them, Naruto and Kakashi and herself, not to talk about the Valley of the End, not to pick open the still-painful wound that Sasuke’s departure had left in all of them. She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. Sai cocked his head and looked at her thoughtfully, and she smiled in response.
Kakashi came back silently, and gestured to the three of them to follow. If it had been anyone else, Sakura would have been worried about not hearing them approaching -- but it was Kakashi-sensei, so she was just sort of mildly disgruntled. Someday, she promised herself, she’d always be able to hear him coming.
“Well,” Sakura said, her tone cheerful, “we’ll be home soon enough.”
They weren’t, as it turned out. The client wasn’t paranoid or self-important, after all -- or, at least, not delusionally so. They encountered two groups of bandits on their way back to Konoha: one clearly street rabble, one more organized, with hints of shinobi training. Sakura healed the four of them of minor cuts and bruises afterwards -- the worst injury was some broken bones in Naruto’s hand, from hitting a rock wall with a Rasengan when one of their opponents had jumped out of the way.
Then Kakashi-sensei loped off ahead again, sending Pakkun even farther in front to sniff out any danger on the rest of the way home. Sakura might have protested the arrangement, but she knew the medic didn’t take point. Naruto was better off in the middle or rear of any group; that left Sai, who deferred to Kakashi-sensei.
Sakura let herself relax just a tiny bit after they passed back through Konoha’s wards.
“Do you think Iruka-sensei will look for us at the hospital?” Sai asked, as if picking up in the middle of a conversation. “It seems to be a habit of his.” Naruto almost fell off a branch, twisting around to stare at Sai.
Sakura sighed and closed her eyes. She was going to kill Sai if he kept bringing this up. She really was — and then she was going to hide his body somewhere no one would ever find it, which might take some work — she knew just how good Kakashi-sensei’s nin-dogs were at tracking things by smell, but surely she could work around that. The hospital had extra drawers in the morgue, right? And then maybe she would freeze Kakashi-sensei right next to Sai, because she had never wanted to have this conversation, and she was certain it was all Kakashi-sensei’s fault. Somehow.
But before that: damage control.
“Stop it, you two,” Sakura said sharply. “Other people’s lives are none of your business.”
Of course, Naruto didn’t have the foggiest idea how to leave well enough alone.
“Wait — hey, Sakura-chan!” Naruto exclaimed, “you mean you believe Sai?”
“It’s not a question of whether I believe him or not,” she snapped. “Because it’s none of our business either way.”
“But!” Naruto looked almost physically pained at this idea. “But it’s Iruka-sensei!”
Damn. She hadn’t counted on Naruto’s devotion to Iruka-sensei. If he managed to get it into his head that this was something that might go badly for Iruka-sensei, Naruto wouldn’t ever let it go. She sighed.
“Look, just because he was in Iruka-sensei’s apartment, you can’t assume —”
Sai broke in. “At his apartment in clean clothes, cooking, early in the morning. Either he --.”
“Well, sure,” she interrupted, “but he could have gotten dressed in the morning like usual and come over — you guys can’t have woken up very early, right?”
Maybe if she hinted broadly enough he’d get it. No, Sakura admitted to herself, no matter how much Sai was trying to adjust to normal people, hinting broad enough that he would get it would almost definitely tip Naruto off to something odd going on, especially if Iruka-sensei was involved.
Naruto looked at her like she was offering him a hand up from drowning.
“Hey, yeah!” Naruto said, bouncing back to his feet, “remember, Kakashi-sensei helped Iruka-sensei get us back to his place, right? He probably came over to make fun of us or something, and Iruka-sensei made him make us breakfast instead!”
Okay, thought Sakura, please, Sai, please have read a book sometime about polite social fictions?
“Opening the apartment door would have woken me.” Sai objected. “And he wasn’t hung-over. Besides, I don’t recall him helping get us back to Iruka-sensei’s apartment: just Iruka-sensei trying to keep you from demonstrating the Rasengan on his front door.” Naruto flushed.
Sakura couldn’t help the bit of a laugh that slipped out at that, and she managed to de-rail the conversation onto why drinking and jutsu didn’t mix. When Sai pointed out that Naruto had not only been unable to perform jutsu, but also been unable to find his own way home, Sakura couldn’t resist.
“We had to practically peel you off the street, Sai -- I don’t think you have any room to talk.” She smiled as she said it, hoping he would take her jibe in the spirit in which it was intended. She pushed ahead, meaning to catch up to Kakash-sensei and warn him, when she saw Konoha’s gates up ahead, and Naruto and Sai, behind her, dropped to the ground.
Naruto and Sai were still bickering as they walked back toward town, and Sakura watched with a sort of fatalistic attention as they approached the gates: neither of them lowered their voices at all, and they attracted the attention of the gate guards right way. She smiled at Izumo and Kotetsu and gave them a little wave, hoping Naruto and Sai would just shut up already. But neither of them had ever really known when to let something drop.
“I don’t believe you!” Naruto yelled, just as he walked through the gates. “Iruka-sensei wouldn’t — and Kakashi-sensei — they just don’t!” Sakura resisted the urge to bury her face in her hands, choosing instead to walk over and smack Naruto upside the head. Behind her, she could see Kakashi-sensei very intently reading his book, though she was certain the edges of his chakra were a bit sharper than usual. Not that Naruto would ever notice.
“Hmm,” Sai replied, his tone of voice absolutely reasonable. Sakura could have sworn she saw the edges of a smile hovering on the edge of his lips: he had to be winding Naruto up on purpose. “I suppose the fact that Kakashi-sensei--.” Naruto spun on him, and Sakura tried to grab him, too late.
“Of course it doesn’t mean anything! Kakashi-sensei can make Iruka-sensei breakfast whenever he wants!! That DOESN’T MEAN they’re FUC—“ Sakura grabbed Naruto and got him in a headlock.
“Naruto,” she said, very, very firmly, “I think you want to apologize to all the nice people whose day you ruined by yelling at the top of your lungs.”
“What? Sakura-chan, let me go!” Naruto struggled (futilely, so long as she kept the chakra build-up in her arms stable) Sakura stared at him, but apparently he really was that clueless.
“Naruto,” she said, “how many people do you think just heard you yelling about Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei?”
He looked at her for a moment, face blank, before it seemed to sink in.
“Oh,” he said, sheepishly, “um, right.” She let him go. “Sorry, Kakashi-sensei—“ but when he turned around to where Kakashi-sensei had been standing, there was no one there.
“So!” Sakura said brightly, pitching her voice loud enough to be heard by Izumo and Kotetsu, at the very least (they looked very interested). “Now that you’ve gotten the hang of bickering, Sai, maybe we can go work on something a little less confrontational.” She took each of them by the elbow and dragged them to the Hokage’s Tower, glad she’d been paying close attention: it looked like Kakashi-sensei was leaving it to them this time.
* * * * *
Kakashi had rarely been so glad to know a transportation jutsu: he vanished in a puff of leaves just as Sakura thumped Naruto. It was unusual for him not to make the report to Tsunade, but he trusted Sakura and Sai to have observed all the necessary details. He didn’t think he’d be able to look her -- or anyone else, for that matter -- in the eye, if they’d heard Naruto yelling just now.
Kakashi appeared just outside a familiar door and let himself into Iruka’s apartment, not bothering to stop the door from thudding softly against the frame as he entered: as good as slamming it, if your lover was a shinobi. Iruka looked up from his usual pile of papers. Kakashi closed his eye and took a deep breath at the sight, trying to calm down a little bit, to stop feeling quite so cornered by embarrassment.
“All right?” Iruka asked softly, staying seated and moving his hands to his knees, keeping them in plain sight. Kakashi just stripped out of his vest and weapons pouches, hanging them on the hooks he’d finally gotten Iruka to install, so he knew where they were at all times.
“You were right,” he admitted, walking over and settling to the ground between Iruka’s knees, toeing a stack of books out of the way. “Sai and Naruto just had a very long argument about why I was in your apartment the morning after you brought them home with you last month.” His voice sounded calm, Kakashi thought, though it was likely that Iruka would see through that soon enough.
“Hmm,” Iruka said, resting his hands on Kakashi’s shoulders. “Was it as loud as I think?”
Kakashi winced, remembering. “Yes.” He shook his head. “Naruto is really quite protective of you, you know.” Iruka rested his chin on the top of Kakashi’s head, and pulled him close, his arms warm across Kakashi’s chest.
“Naruto will be fine,” Iruka said, softly. “He’ll probably just be mad no one told him.”
Kakashi leaned back against Iruka and closed his eyes.
“It’s not him I’m worried about,” he admitted, “so much as the half of the village that heard him yelling about how I can make you breakfast whenever I want just as we walked through the gates.”
Iruka smothered a laugh in Kakashi’s hair. “Oh, no,” he said, “really?” And Kakashi could feel Iruka shaking a little with laughter behind him.
“Hey,” Kakashi said, feeling a little piqued at how lightly Iruka was taking this. “It’s not funny.”
“No,” Iruka managed, “it really is.” He was quiet for a moment, still laughing a little bit. “Naruto really said that?”
“Hollered it.” Kakashi corrected. “He followed it by yelling that it didn’t have to mean we were fucking,” Kakashi continued sourly. “Sakura smacked him, but not quite soon enough. Congrats, sensei,” he said, leaning back to look Iruka in the eye upside-down and smiling to conceal a little bit of apprehension. “I think you’re stuck with me.” It wasn’t that he expected Iruka to mind, exactly: while Iruka didn’t go out of his way to be demonstrative in public, he never seemed to allow a fear of gossip to change his behaviour, either. But gossip and reputation counted for a lot in a hidden village, and Kakashi hadn’t spent the last twenty-odd years ignorant of that fact.
Iruka smiled, and kissed him, upside-down.
“Come on,” he said, pulling Kakashi up to sit next to him, “let me just finish this, and then you can show me how stuck I really am.”
Kakashi let himself be dragged up onto the couch and pulled out a book, though he didn’t really read so much as hold it open before him while he thought.
* * * * * * *
The next day, Iruka taught at the Academy as usual and found Kakashi reading in his apartment when he returned home.
“Have you even left the apartment all day?” he teased, and Kakashi went still. Oh, Iruka thought, so he hasn’t. He’d not expected Kakashi to be so very embarrassed -- not with the books he read so brazenly, the way he teased Iruka in private. But, then, Iruka thought, Kakashi did seem very aware of village gossip and his own reputation: this would certainly feature prominently in village conversation for a time, and might well affect how some people saw him. (Iruka was inclined to think they were idiots, if they would allow something so trivial to affect their impression of Kakashi, but that was neither here nor there.)
“Kakashi,” Iruka said, sitting down next to him, “it’s all right. I don’t mind ignoring a little bit of gossip.” Kakashi made a sort of a hmm noise, and leaned into him a little bit. Iruka kissed his temple, and leaned back, wrapping an arm around Kakashi’s shoulders and pulling him close. After a moment, he leaned in, pulled Kakashi’s mask down and kissed him lingeringly, fingers splayed at the nape of Kakashi’s neck, feathering through the short hair there. Kakashi almost melted into the kiss for a moment: then he pulled away, dropping a soft kiss on Iruka’s lips before putting his hands on Iruka’s shoulders and holding him away.
“Is this the part where you break up with me for my own good?” Iruka asked, his tone a bit sharp. “Because you tried that before, and you’re damn lucky it didn’t work then.” Kakashi blinked, and looked almost surprised for a moment, though Iruka knew the idea had to have occurred to him: it sometimes seemed like Kakashi wanted to wrap Iruka up in tissue paper and keep him safe. It was simultaneously touching and offensive, though Iruka knew that there were certainly more than enough threats to Konoha and to Kakashi that would easily be able to brush a chuunin-sensei aside like a bug. He shook his head, and looked Kakashi in the eye.
“What is it?” he asked, softening his tone, “Kakashi?”
“Word will make its way outside of Fire Country soon enough,” Kakashi said. “There’s no way to keep that many people from gossipping.” Especially about me hung for a moment in the air before evaporating.
Iruka nodded. “No,” he said, “there isn’t. Do you think I don’t know that?” Kakashi looked mildly surprised again, and Iruka decided to continue: they needed to have this conversation some time. Now was as good a time as any, and perhaps better than most. “Kakashi,” he said, “I can take care of myself in town, and between the Academy and the mission desk, I don’t leave Konoha’s borders often enough to worry about, these days. And if an enemy nin too strong for me to get away from gets into Konoha, we’ve got problems other than gossip on our hands.” Kakashi almost-flinched, and Iruka wondered if he should have softened his words a bit: no, he decided, better that this be clear and plain. “I know you’re going to be worried about this,” Iruka continued, and he brought his hands up to cover Kakashi’s, still resting on his shoulders. “And I understand. But I can take care of myself pretty well, remember?”
“Iruka,” Kakashi started, and Iruka put a hand across his lips.
“Kakashi,” he said, “we don’t have to talk about this right now. Wait a couple of days and see how far it spreads, how fast. Then we can talk about it. All right?” Kakashi looked a bit troubled, but he nodded.
“Good,” Iruka said, and this time when he leaned in and kissed him, Kakashi didn’t push him away, leaning in instead and kissing back as if Iruka might disappear, wrapping his arms around Iruka and pulling him closer.
* * *
The next morning Iruka got up with Kakashi. When Kakashi headed to the memorial, Iruka set off to find Naruto, Sakura and Sai. If past history was any indication, Kakashi would be at the memorial stone for a little longer than usual today, so Iruka knew he would have a little while to talk to the three of them before their Journin sensei showed up.
The three teenagers were gathered under a tree, standing in a rough triangle and talking softly.
“No,” Sai said, just as Iruka walked into earshot, “they weren’t very loud. I gather Iruka-sensei was insistent on that point.”
Sakura stared. In the corner of his eye, Iruka saw Naruto’s jaw drop.
“You’re telling me you —“ Sakura sounded shocked “— they were — and you listened!?”
Sai shrugged. “They knew I was awake,” he pointed out. “It seemed impolite to interrupt.”
“Sai,” Iruka said, keeping his voice as bland and teacher-ly as he could, “in this kind of situation, the polite thing to have done would have been not to mention it at all, except perhaps to one of the people involved.” Sakura and Naruto jumped a little bit when they saw him: Sai betrayed no surprise at all.
Iruka walked up a bit closer, stopped, and then added: “And in this particular case, Naruto does not count as involved, because he was completely dead to the world at the time, though I can see how perhaps you could think he might. But, yes, it was polite of you not to interrupt.”
Sai cocked his head to one side, almost birdlike, and then nodded. Naruto gaped at them, and made incoherent noises that made Iruka feel quite sympathetic for him, actually.
“I’m surprised you didn’t mention it earlier,” Iruka said, “I had thought that you would bring it up at breakfast, if at all.” Sai actually flushed a little bit.
“I thought it was a dream.” He said quietly. “But after thinking about it, I concluded that it was not.”
Iruka arched an eyebrow, but Sai didn’t seem to pick up on it. Finally he said, bluntly, “What made you decide that?”
“My recollections of that evening were uniformly distorted by alcohol, and those were no more nor less coherent.” Sai replied, and Iruka nodded. “And it fit with your behavior in the morning better than any other explanation.” Iruka nodded again.
“Kakashi-sensei knew where everything was in the kitchen, and wasn’t fully dressed.” Here Naruto squawked, and Sakura glared at him. Sai continued as if he hadn’t heard either of them.
“And when we left, Kakashi-sensei put his hand on the small of your back, and you didn’t mind. Some books I’ve read have called that a sign of affection, or a way of asserting possession.” Iruka blinked, and spared a moment to be glad Kakashi wasn’t there to hear that. “And besides,” Sai continued, “even an Academy instructor would not be comfortable with an unfamiliar person touching them like that without warning,” he paused, and then allowed, “you seem not to be as soft as some of the Academy instructors.”
“Hey!” Naruto protested, “Iruka-sensei is awesome.” Sai looked at him, and Iruka let himself smile just slightly.
“Not to mention the number of times Sakura has mentioned seeing you at the hospital while Kakashi-sensei is there,” Sai added, and then said, a little puzzlingly, looking at Sakura: “See? Observation.”
“Well,” Sakura replied, making a bit of a face at Sai, who seemed to completely ignore it, “with the way you behave at the hospital, Iruka-sensei, it’s a wonder the whole village doesn’t know.”
“Hmmm,” Iruka said, “you are there a bit more often than most people, Sakura-chan.” But laid out like that, it all did make sense. He was just a bit surprised things had gotten so loud -- though, with Naruto involved, he thought, he was probably lucky it hadn’t been louder.
“Iruka-senseii~” Naruto exclaimed, interrupting his train of thought, “you mean it’s true?” Iruka smiled.
“Yes, Naruto.”
Naruto’s eyes were wide; his mouth worked for a moment, and finally he cried: “But Kakashi-sensei? And why didn’t you tell me? I can keep a secret!”
Iruka smiled a little more genuinely, and reached out to ruffle his hair -- and when had Naruto gotten so much taller, anyway?
“I know that,” he said. “It wasn’t exactly a secret. We just don’t talk about it much.” Generally, he didn’t add, one didn’t need to tell people in a hidden village about things like this: even civilians either cottoned on or just didn’t care. It hadn’t really occurred to Iruka to mention his relationship with Kakashi when Naruto had just returned -- and by the time it became clear that Naruto had not caught on, the boy had been back for so long that it seemed almost silly, awkwardly artificial, to bring it up specifically.
Naruto blinked up at him, and Iruka saw something that looked almost like tears in his eyes.
“Iruka-senseii~” he said, and clutched Iruka tight in a surprisingly strong hug. He’s really growing up, Iruka thought, wrapping his arms around Naruto in return.
“If he’s ever mean to you I’ll kick his ass.” Naruto told him. “And I really mean it, Iruka-sensei!”
“Well,” Kakashi drawled from just above them, “that’s good to know.”
Naruto startled and jumped back without really letting go of Iruka, and only long practice with clumsy kids kept Iruka from toppling over alongside Naruto, who landed flat on his back and stared for an instant before hopping up and pointing at Kakashi, who was squatting on a treebranch overhead.
“Kakashi-sensei!” he yelled, “you’d better not be making Iruka-sensei all perverted like you are!” Iruka smothered a laugh, and he was pretty sure he saw Kakashi’s lips quirk up in a brief smile.
“Naruto,” Sakura said, voice almost a tangible warning, “do you remember what we said about the whole village not needing to hear you?” He ducked his head and made a slightly petulant face.
“He’d still better not be!” Naruto muttered.
“And you,” Sakura said, looking up at Kakashi in the tree, “get down here -- I know you didn’t go to the hospital when we got back, and someone needs to make sure you’re all right before we leave.” She sounded every inch the medic, and Kakashi dropped out of the tree to land beside her almost before she was done talking.
Iruka noticed that Sai had taken a seat at the base of a nearby tree, and pulled out his sketchpad again, curiosity apparently satisfied. Sakura proclaimed Kakashi just fine (which Iruka could have told her, despite not being a medic) and then looked away from the rest of them, pulling a bandage from her hip pouch and absently tossing it up and down.
“Hey,” Naruto said, after a few moments of slightly awkward silence, during which Sakura started re-winding bandages from her hip pouch that were already wound perfectly well. “Hey, how does that work? You’re both guys!” Iruka saw Kakashi shift his weight slightly, though his hands didn’t move, and Iruka suddenly knew he was about to leave Iruka to have this part of the conversation on his own.
“Oh, no you don’t” Iruka said, catching Kakashi by the neck of his vest, and pulling him back. “Remember? You get to do the explaining.” Iruka plopped down on the grass, and leaned back on his hands, the very picture of an attentive student. Sakura followed suit, though she sat down with a smidge more grace.
“Well?” Iruka asked, “I’m listening.”
Kakashi shifted a little awkwardly, and Iruka could tell he wasn’t at all happy about the prospect of giving Naruto the Talk. Iruka reminded himself that it was Kakashi’s fault this was necessary in the first place, and didn’t break in.
“Well,” Kakashi started, “I’m sure you know how sex works.” Naruto looked at him, and then nodded.
“Yeah,” he said, “of course I do.” He sounded like even asking the question had been a bit stupid -- and Iruka supposed that, actually, since Naruto had spent several years traveling with Jiraiya and reading his manuscripts, it was a bit of a silly question, even if the Icha Icha books weren’t quite as blatantly pornographic as Iruka had thought.
Kakashi shifted his weight again, and Iruka relented, and resolved to help answer questions -- in just a little bit.
* * * * *
Sai flipped a page in his sketchbook, dipping his brush in the ink and then blocking out the landscape before him in quick, fluid strokes. He didn’t seem the least bit surprised when Yamato dropped to the ground next to him to sit cross-legged on the tree’s roots, though of course, with Sai it was always hard to tell.
“Sai,” Yamato asked quietly, “what on earth is going on here?” Sai looked over and shrugged.
“Naruto just found out about Kakashi and Iruka. Apparently he has a few questions.” They both looked over to where the other four were sitting, Sakura or Iruka jumping up every so often to pull Naruto back onto the ground. It looked like Kakashi had been frozen in place, though the sound of his voice drifted over every once in a while, drawling and apparently bored. Yamato was willing to bet Naruto hadn’t noticed: that even Sai and Sakura hadn’t noticed how tense his posture was, though Iruka kept shooting him surreptitious glances, as if to check on him.
“How long has this been going on, now?” Yamato asked: he knew Team Kakashi had a mission today, and while they were still well within acceptable parameters of lateness (well, for Kakashi, at least), they wouldn’t get back this evening unless they left fairly soon.
Sai glanced at the sky. “A quarter hour? A little more.” Yamato shook his head. It didn’t look like they were getting much of anywhere.
“Hm,” Yamato said, and then smiled as an idea struck him.
“Sai,” he said, “I think it’s time someone lent a hand, don’t you?” He leaned over and whispered something in Sai’s ear, and the boy nodded, apparently entirely without humor.
“Enforced proximity may be effective,” he allowed, and brought two enormous snakes to life with a handful of brush strokes. Yamato wandered over toward the group, calling a greeting, and the snakes slithered their way along as well, hiding in his shadow.
When he got close enough, Yamato put a hand on Naruto’s shoulder. “Now,” he asked, “sempai, what on earth is going on here?” Kakashi looked up and opened his mouth just as snakes encircled and bound both him and Naruto. Yamato flipped through a series of quick signs, bringing up a wooden cage just like the one he’d threatened Team Kakashi with the first time they’d met. Sakura and Iruka stared for a moment, having been pushed aside by the earth on which they were sitting, and then Iruka burst out laughing, which made both Kakashi and Naruto scowl at him, and then at each other.
“Yamato-taichou!” Sakura exclaimed, “what are you doing?”
“Don’t worry,” he said, “I’m sure if we leave them here for a few hours they’ll sort it out.” Out of the corner of his eye, Yamato saw Kakashi lean in to say something quietly to Naruto, who stared at him for a moment before nodding vigorously. Good, he thought it’s working.
Then the air erupted with the should of chirping birds and Yamato threw himself backwards away from the ink-splattered wood splinters that were all that remained of the cage. He turned and ducked over to Sai, who was standing, brush and paper at the ready.
“Come on,” he called, loudly enough to be overheard. “Bet they can’t catch us!”
Naruto and Kakashi did catch them, but only after Yamato had seen them calling to each other normally, planning a joint pursuit like it was the most natural thing in the world.
When the four of them got back to the others, Iruka and Sakura were speaking softly, sitting a good distance from the wreck of the destroyed cage.
“Finally!” Sakura called, hopping up. “Really, what possessed you to --”
Sai smiled, wide and bright, and his eyes crinkled up at the edges. Yamato looked at him for a moment: that was almost a real smile. Team Kakashi had been good for him, it seemed.
“Why, Sakura-chan,” Sai said guilelessly, “I couldn’t possibly speculate. It would be rude.”
Sakura laughed out loud. Then she turned around to look at Kakashi and Naruto, sitting in a tree and flopped on the ground nearby. “Well,” she asked them, “are we going to go out on this mission today, or are you two too lazy?”
Naruto jumped up with a yell -- something about never being as lazy as Kakashi-sensei, not ever -- and Kakashi dropped out of the tree easily.
“I’m off,” he said, looking at Iruka. There was something in his gaze that made Yamato certain this was habitual, and something surprised in Iruka’s face for just a moment: a private habit, perhaps?
“Good luck,” Iruka replied. Then he stepped forward, pulling Kakashi to him (with his back to Naruto and the others) and kissed Kakashi lingeringly.
Naruto muttered something that sounded like “gross!”, and then looked up, eyes wide.
“Hey,” he exclaimed, “Wait a minute, Iruka-sensei, you’ve seen Kakashi-sensei’s face???” Sakura pulled him away, and Team Kakashi disappeared into the trees with a trailing cry of “that’s not fair!” from Naruto.
“Well,” Iruka said quietly, “that was an interesting morning.” Yamato nodded, watching the tree branches quiver in Team Kakashi’s wake.